It was another awkward breakfast.

Rookwood slouched at the table, withering under Celestia’s fiery gaze. Any goodwill she had towards him now seemed gone. Luna was sitting beside him, destroying a plateful of fried hash browns. There was a palpable tension in the air. It was almost painful.

“Well Luna, you certainly are chipper this morning.” Celestia said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She shot her sister and Rookwood both a dirty glance.

“Yes I am.” Luna said, beaming, her mouth full of hash browns.

Rookwood whimpered and popped a grape into his mouth.

“I feel like a goddess.” Luna said, sending hash browns dribbling out onto her plate. She shoveled them back in, along with a few more bites.

“Technically, you are the Goddess of the Moon.” Celestia said in a painful ear burning monotone.

“Maybe.” Luna shrugged, shoveling in a bite of cottage cheese and pineapple. “But as of right now, I am the Goddess of the Bedroom. The Moon Goddess of Fertility finally found her groove.”

Rookwood could hear Celestia’s teeth grinding.

Luna beamed. “Actually, somepony else found my groove and did something pleasant to it.”

He cowered a little more and ate another grape, wondering which bite might be his last. It was snowing. He could see it through the window. It was so much harder to dig a grave when the ground was frozen. Celestia would probably burn him alive for the sake of convenience.

Luna grabbed the bottle of maple syrup, pulled off the cap, pressed the bottle to her lips, and began to chug the mostly full bottle of syrup as Celestia watched in abstract horror.

Glug. Glug. Glug.

Rookwood started to place a foreleg around Luna, looking for some kind of comfort, but Celestia stopped him with a cold stare. She shook her head no. Rookwood dropped his foreleg.

Glug. Glug. Glug.

It was almost a rhythmic sound.

Glug. Glug. Glug.

Luna set the bottle down, now drained.

She pulled her lips back, whacked herself in the barrel with her own hoof, and let fly a burp that blew the a napkin off of the table and made the tableware rattle alarmingly. A glass nearly tipped over.

Luna was completely oblivious to her sister’s stare.

She turned her head, leaned over, and planted a sticky syrupy kiss on Rookwood’s cheek.

The room became unbearably hot. Rookwood began to sweat. He nervously nibbled an apple, staring at Celestia with wide eyes.

Luna lifted the entire pitcher of orange juice and made it disappear in a few swallows. “‘Tis a bit warm in here.” Luna remarked. “Must be mommy hormones.” She began to eye a pitcher of milk.

Celestia’s eye twitched frantically.

“Celestia, can I have that stick?” Luna asked.

“What stick would that be, sister?” Celestia replied.

“The one jammed up your plot right now.” Luna said, no longer eyeing the pitcher of milk but lifting it to her lips. She emptied it in a few swallows.

“Luna!” Celestia snapped.

“Make peace with it Celestia. You knew this was coming.” Luna said, now scanning the table for consumables that she could devour.

“What has been seen last night cannot be unseen.” Celestia said. “You are my baby sister.”

“The baby sister you arranged a marriage for to secure more troops to hold back the griffons. I was married to a horrible grunting pig of a pony whose idea of a good time was getting drunk and pissing the bed.” Luna did not meet her sister’s eyes as she spoke.

Rookwood carefully slid a plate of scones toward Luna. Orange peel and cranberry, extra tart.

“Oh! How considerate. Just like last night!” Luna said, stuffing a scone into her maw. “Always looking out for my needs.” She said around a mouthful of scone.

Celestia’s eyes bulged, her lip curled in a snarl.

“Celestia.” Luna said. Her tone was cold. None of her playful demeanor remained. “Stop now. I mean it. I regret nothing about last night, but I do regret every marriage I’ve been in. I have found a cure for my loneliness, please, allow me to be happy.”

Celestia’s gaze softened and she slumped. She stole a scone using her magic, before the entire plate was gone, and nibbled the edge. She stared at Rookwood, her stare now softened slightly.

“You had better make her ridiculously happy.” Celestia hissed. “She’s suffered enough.”

Rookwood gave a slow nod. “Do I have your blessing?”

“No. Not until you take your lessons seriously and show some real progress.” Celestia glared at him balefully now, having found a different reason to glare.

Rookwood bravely took the last scone and began to eat it.

“I would take Equestria to war for some coconut milk right now.” Luna said absentmindedly. She froze, biting her lip, and then banged her hoof into the table. There was a sharp supersonic crack of flatulence that pealed and squealed off the cushioned chair.

Celestia’s nose crinkled. “Luna!” She scolded.

“Do you want me to tell Rookwood the story about the night you ate a gallon of guacamole on a dare from Twilight Sparkle and Cadance?” Luna inquired. “And then you polluted the sleeping chambers of the third annual princess slumber party?”

Celestia turned pink and let out a whinny. “That’s not playing fair.”

“No bucks given.” Luna replied. She was scooping orange marmalade out of a jar and into her mouth. “Needs something. Maybe pickled beets.”

“I once ate a dozen bean burritos at the Burro Burrito Bar.” Rookwood announced.

“How?” Luna said, poking him with a hoof. “Where did they go?”

“Out my pucker and into other ponies lungs. I went to a Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant not long after.” Rookwood said, grinning sheepishly.

Luna laughed riotously and banged her hoof on the table. Rookwood heaved an enormous sigh of relief when he heard Celestia chuckle softly.

Rookwood yawned. It was getting harder and harder to stay awake in the day.

Luna poked him again. “You’ll be coming back to my chambers. For your own safety.” She whispered.

“I have invited your parents to come and have breakfast with us.” Celestia said, causing Rookwood to choke mid yawn.

“W… w… what?” Rookwood stuttered.

“Well, it seems only proper. You two are in a state of courtship.” Celestia froze when she said the word courtship, visibly squirming. “ Yes, you two are in a proper state of courtship, I felt that it was only right to invite your parents over. I thought we could share a nice breakfast together and make some formal announcements.”

“Oh this is bad.” Rookwood wheezed, feeling his lungs beginning to compress. Panic gripped him, and panic’s grip was ferocious.

“It cannot be that bad.” Celestia deadpanned.

“Oh, you have NO idea!” Rookwood said, now beginning to freak out.

“Let me guess, your father ignores you while he reads his paper and your mother is overbearing and protective, refusing to allow you to grow up?” Celestia stated while Luna divided and conquered a plate full of jelly biscuits.

“Oh, I wish!” Rookwood said.

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“My parents,” grunted Rookwood, “are the most uptight ultra-conservative right wing ultra authoritarian group of ponies you have ever met.” Rookwood whimpered, his face beginning to sag. “Sex before marriage is a sin they believe should be punishable by castration. They’ve had sex exactly once. And that was to make me. And they tell me this every chance they get. To make me feel guilty. My mother tells me all about the shame and agony she and my father had to endure to make me and continue society.” Rookwood was on the verge of hyperventilating now. “And they are fierce anti-monarchs. They long for the glory days of Unicorn confederation rule, a return to a collection of republic city states, all ruled by a good and proper unicorn. And they hate me because I have no magic.”

“But you have magic.” Luna said. “In your tongue.” She shivered, causing her teeth to clatter together and her ears to splay.

“Ugh!” Celestia grunted, looking sharply at her sister. “Rookwood, you do have magic. Powerful magic. Magic that some unicorns would make pacts with fell beings to achieve.” Celestia said, still recoiling from her sister’s untoward comment.

“Do you know what my parents viewpoints are about forbidden magic?” Rookwood said, slumping backwards in his seat. “My father will want my horn removed. My parents are going to want me fixed at both ends.” Rookwood uttered a whimpering cry.

“Look, every colt and filly your age believes that their parents are horrible tyrants.” Celestia said patiently. “And it passes when you grow into maturity and see that they are only trying to do what is best for you.”

Rookwood nodded. “Yeah, you tell me that AFTER you meet my parents.” His eyes were wide with frantic fear and he trembled now.

Celestia sighed and made a dismissive gesture.

“I require slumber.” Luna announced, yawning, her long orange tongue dangling out. “‘Twas a long night and I am tired.”

Luna’s horn flashed. She and Rookwood vanished, leaving behind a loud pop, leaving Celestia alone to survey the damage. Luna had destroyed the breakfast table.

Rookwood was vaguely aware of the sounds of retching. He could hear it. His odd new internal clock told him that the sun was still up, and to stay hidden under the blankets. Thankfully, the window in Luna’s room was covered in heavy drapes. Luna was still suffering from ‘evening’ sickness. It was probably late afternoon or early evening, the sun still up. But wouldn’t be much longer.

He roused himself from the bed, stumbling and staggering over the floor. Thankfully, no embarrassing wet dreams caused him to soil the currently fresh bedding. He had tried to keep a respectful distance from Luna, worried about his now diurnal, formerly nocturnal, emissions. He banged snoot first into the bathroom door, causing himself to cry out in pain. He saw stars. His vision was blurry. He needed his glasses again. He kicked the door latch with his front hoof, and pushed the door open.

He saw Luna hunched over her throne, her outline blurry.

“I swear, as long as I live, I will never eat maple syrup ever again.” Luna gasped, her barrel heaving. Her wings fluttered as she dry heaved a few times. “Go away Rookwood, get out.” Luna said weakly. “You should not see me like this.”

Rookwood ignored her. He gazed around the bathroom, having been in here the night before, before going down for breakfast. They had to clean up after their encounter. They had showered.

Rookwood was now looking bleary eyed at the enormous tub. He could hardly see it, but that didn’t matter. Tubs were tubs. He found the handles and kicked one, sending water pouring in. HOT water. He kicked the cold faucet and made a few adjustments.

Luna was dry heaving now, nothing left to throw up. She continued to hug the bowl, her ears both drooping low to the sides of her face, her eyes now bloodshot. Rookwood could see none of this however, and even if he could, he wasn’t stupid enough to screw up a good thing by saying anything. He had, by extraordinary circumstances, found his way into the bed of a beautiful mare. All he had to endure was a long dead nightmare goddess that wanted to torture him and a bit of barf breath.

All in all, a fair trade.

Luna looked over at the tub, waving a hoof and shaking her head no.

“I want to go back to bed.” She gasped.

Rookwood utterly failed to pay attention and began herding her towards the tub, poking her with his hoof. She protested and sputtered, her ears still clinging to the sides of her face, her sides still rising and falling rapidly. Rookwood threw his chest into her and scooted her along the tile floor, bumping her along.

She sat on the edge of the tub and looked down with a resigned stare. She stepped in, hissing as she settled into the water. Rookwood moved to the tub’s edge, tripped over the raised edges of it, and fell face first into the pool of nearly scalding water.

“Our foal will be the epitome of grace.” Luna said dryly, which was strange because she was soaking in a tub and was very very wet. Rookwood rose up from the water with a gasp.

“So… Rookwood, do you plan to ravage me in my current woeful condition?” Luna inquired.

“Do you want me too?” Rookwood said, rubbing his nose.

“Never mind. I was trying to be funny, and I forgot I was dealing with a colt. All that is required to get you in the mood is a pulse, correct?” Luna raised an eyebrow.

“Pretty much.” Rookwood agreed. “Or a breeze. Or the sway of grass on a summer day, the way a filly flicks her tail, the sight of a quivering ear, living, drawing breath, take your pick.”

“You have a sense of humour.” Luna stated.

“I try. Keeps the bullies from beating the crap out of me sometimes if I make them laugh.” Rookwood replied.

“So you have a quick tongue. In a variety of ways.” Luna said, relishing her double entendre.

Rookwood nodded.

“You and I are alike in a lot of ways.” Luna said, settling into the water.

“I am a complete loser.” Rookwood whined.

“I grew up in my sister’s shadow, having to impress my parents enough to draw them away from her accomplishments. I was scrawny. Skinny. And small. I am nothing compared to my sister’s physical form. I was considered stunted by alicorn standards. My father had to pay a stallion a considerable sum to marry me. The stallion wanted my sister, but she was already married. He had to settle for second best. I was socially awkward. No matter how I tried, I could not fit in. And then my cutie mark came, and I was resigned to darkness. That did nothing to help me in life. I was a very miserable mare.” Luna said, swishing a hoof through the water.

“But you are beautiful.” Rookwood said.

“And you are a colt. Every mare is beautiful.” Luna said, blushing.

“But really, you are beautiful.” Rookwood said.

“You may find this to believe, but a lot of ponies did not share your viewpoint. I constantly had to hear about how beautiful and radiant my sister was, and how homely I was.” Luna frowned. “One even went so far as to tell me that my blue colouring was an advantage, keeping me hidden in the night, away from view. He was my third or fourth husband. I’ve lost track. He was entirely forgettable.”

Rookwood sat there in shock, his mouth open.

“So I understand your pain Rookwood. I tend to love the outcasts, the unwanted, the undesirables. I visit them in their dreams and guide them to better things. We develop a strength that most will never know.” Luna settled into the tub, sliding back and down, submerging into the water for a moment, before re-emerging and resting her head upon the edge. Her ethereal mane was gone now, having turned into a powder blue mass of wet tangles that would have reached down to her hooves had she been standing.

Rookwood felt his heart skip a beat.

Luna’s wet ears were plastered to her head, one to the side of her face, the other to the back of her skull. Her eyes were closed. She was impossibly beautiful.

“Do not soil my bathwater.” Luna said, not opening her eyes.

Rookwood leaned back in the tub, submerging himself, feeling the heat of the water against the heat of his own skin, he stayed under for nearly a minute, feeling the soothing heat on his snoot. He came back up with a gasp, reclining back and resting his head on the edge of the tub, in much the same way as he saw Luna doing.

“Tonight, after the sun sets, I will expect a fair level of performance from you. And not in just a sexual manner. If you want to bed me, tonight you will shadow dive and you will listen to a lecture on basic shadow manipulation. And I do mean listen. I will be asking you questions to see if you are paying attention.” Luna’s voice was relaxed, she sounded much better than she was a little while ago, hunched over the toilet.

“I can shadow dive.” Rookwood said, melting in the water. “I really am trying.”

“I know.” Luna replied.

“I could see though my leg last night before you called me into your bed.” Rookwood said. “I was too distracted by your beauty for it to mean much though. I kept looking at how you were blinking.”

“I know.” Luna returned. “I saw. I suppose I was very distracting. I will be even more so tonight when I don socks and begin to test your concentration.”

Rookwood laughed. “You’re funny Luna.”

“Violet, navy blue in the colour of my own pelt, and black. Stripes. Inches wide. Leg length.” Luna commented.

Rookwood gulped. He valiantly tried to jam that mental image from his mind. He failed. Something stirred in the water.

“And right about now, you should be feeling the first hints of arousal. Keep in mind what you must do to satisfy your itch.” Luna’s tone was teasing.

“Keep in mind that I can scratch your itch.” Rookwood said. “And that I know where your jelly bean is and what to do with it.”

Luna squirmed in the water, causing a splash, and sending waves through the tub. “I am not the one that needs to quickly learn magic in order to preserve my own life.” Luna said breathlessly. “I am trying to entice you into learning to save yourself.”

“I know,” replied Rookwood, “and I appreciate that. I’m only teasing a little bit, just like you are. I intend to take my lessons seriously. I have a foal to raise and a mare to look after.”

“So there it is then. A faint glimmer of maturity.” Luna said, squirming through the water. Rookwood felt her slide near him. “Do you do this out of a desire to impress me?”

“Yes.” Rookwood answered honestly.

“And what of yourself?” Luna asked.

“What about me?” Rookwood replied.

“I did not ascend to immortal status out of a need to impress others. I did it for my self, to better my self, to pull myself out of a terrible series of events that was my life.” Luna said, now side to side with Rookwood. He could feel her wet mane clinging to him, the soft wet feathers of her wings against his side.

“My rebirth into shadow…” said Rookwood, his voice pensive, “what did that do to my life? How long will I live?”

“Not long enough.” Luna said, her voice sad.

“So at some point, I sucumb to old age and you will stay forever young and beautiful?” Rookwood inquired.

Luna did not reply.

“And the foal. will it be like you?” Rookwood said, his voice imploring for an answer.

“Doubtful.” Luna said, her voice gravelly with sorrow. “But Rookwood, you will live a long life. The more you infuse yourself with shadow, the more you slow down the physical draws on your body with the consequences of living. You do not age while cloaked in shadow. Time stands still. So if you want every precious moment to last, you will do well to pay attention to your lessons and what I have to teach you. How much time do you want to spend with me?”

“As much as I can.” Rookwood whispered. “So every time I screw up and fail to pay attention is a precious moment lost. I understand.”

Luna made a sad sighing sound but said nothing.

“I understand how important it is to apply my self. I will not disappoint.” Rookwood said. “Were it in my power, I would stay with you forever and keep you company in the night, holding the darkness at bay. The idea of immortality scares the piss out of me, but you would be worth it.”

Luna pressed closer to Rookwood, their bodies pressed wetly together. “Be mindful of your words Rookwood. I understand your heart’s intent, but you do not know the terrible torture you would have to endure if somehow you had to live up to your words. To watch everything you know and love die, withering from age while you remain the same. To watch rivers slowly carve canyons out of riverbeds. To see mountains become hills, eroded with time, to watch continents shift and settle, to see a shoreline change as the ocean eats away the land.”

Rookwood felt a stabbing pain in his chest.

“I would brave all of that.” Rookwood said.

“You are young and foolish and immature!” Luna snapped. “You do not understand the unspeakable agonies of watching time pass while being trapped outside of it.”

“I am young. And I am rather stupid. I am terribly immature. None of that matters. I’m also in love. I think. I don’t know. And that does matter. Everything else, not so much.” Rookwood said, rubbing his chest with a hoof. “Everything will sort itself out. It doesn’t matter what I say anyway. Time will have its way with me.”

“And tonight, if you do well on your lessons, I will have my way with you. I suppose I shall have to guide you in though.” Luna commented.

“And lock the door this time.” Rookwood said, settling into the water, enjoying the soak.

Author's Notes:

Ominous foreshadowing... A dark and terrible breakfast awaits. Soon.