In the early morning hours just before dawn, Princess Luna squirmed in her chair, unable to sit still at the breakfast table. She leaned over to one side, and then leaned over to another, and then she leaned forward. She shot Rookwood a dirty look as she tried to eat her scrambled eggs.

“Sister, are you having a problem?” Celestia asked, her concern evident upon her face. Celestia smiled as the cook delivered a special dish that Rookwood had requested for breakfast this morning.

A platter of fudge turnovers was placed upon the table.

Luna stared wide eyed at the platter of pastries.

“Luna?” Celestia asked.

“I’m fine,” Luna muttered in between bites of scrambled eggs.

“You keep squirming in your seat,” Celestia said.

“I’m fine,” Luna insisted, shooting Rookwood a furtive glance.

Grinning broadly, Rookwood helped himself to a hot fudge turnover.

“Mmm, fudge turnovers,” Violet said.

Rookwood politely dropped several on Violet’s plate and touched them with shadow, pulling them into a realm where Violet could enjoy them. The foal began to gobble them greedily. Luna made a choking sound as she watched.

“Luna, you keep squirming… sometimes, pregnant mares get hemorrhoids, it isn’t anything to be embarrassed about, if you need to see a doctor, you should. If you are having a problem you shouldn’t try to hide it,” Celestia reassured.

Rookwood chortled.

Luna stared wide eyed at her sister, her mouth moving, but no words came out. She lowered her gaze and began to gobble her scrambled eggs, stopping only to add more hot sauce.

“You know Luna, the hot sauce will only make the hemorrhoids worse,” Celestia warned.

Luna did not reply. She glared balefully at Rookwood but remained silent.

Rookwood lifted a fudge turnover from the try and offered it to Luna. “Care to try it?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

Luna squirmed in her seat. “You bastard,” she muttered, leaning off to one side. She rubbed her backside against the chair, trying to relieve the hot itchy feeling, and then tilted over to one side to spread her cheeks apart, trying to allow a cooling breeze to enter.

“Luna? You are acting very peculiar. Do you have worms?” Celestia asked.

“No sister, I do not have worms. I do not have hemorrhoids. What I do have is a husband that I failed to give a blowjob to, and then to make it up to him I allowed him to give me a ‘fudge turnover’ because I was curious to see what would happen,” Luna snapped.

Celestia looked at the platter of fudge turnovers in horror.

“The act of was consensual and I have suffered no real harm, except my pucker burns and itches, and I kind of want Rookwood to bone me again just to scratch the itch,” Luna continued. “Rubbing it makes the itch go away.”

Rookwood licked the creamy fudge filling from a turnover and looked very pleased with himself. He had no fear of Celestia now. She couldn’t actually kill him. Not now, not with his immortality.

“What’s a blowjob?” Violet said innocently.

Luna shot the foal a startled look and Violet looked back and blinked innocently. Luna devoured the fudge turner Rookwood offered, devouring it whole, stuffing the whole thing into her maw.

“Violet honey, you don’t need to know that,” Celestia said slowly, her eyes darting between Rookwood and Luna. “Rookwood…” Celestia said accusingly.

“Yes?” Rookwood replied, a smear of fudge on his snoot.

“Oh by the sun, there is fudge on your snoot, I can’t even look at you right now,” Celestia huffed in exasperation.

“Our breakfasts are a tradition, it is practically a royal institution,” Rookwood returned. “It is our fate to have awkward breakfasts together.”

Violet smacked her lips and licked away the fudge all over her muzzle.

“Actually, there is something very serious I wanted to discuss with you Celestia. While your sister and I were sharing some quality time, I had something of an idea,” Rookwood announced.

“You were thinking about something else while you plundered what I have given to no other stallion willingly?” Luna cried.

“Well, you were off in the dream realms,” Rookwood retorted.

“That is beside the point, I have duties. But I attended to your needs,” Luna snapped.

“I am sorry, but the idea slipped into my mind when everything got all hot and burny and I was slipping into you,” Rookwood said apologetically.

“Hmmph!” Luna snorted, pulling a pitcher of pineapple juice to her. She guzzled directly from the pitcher, anger still on her face.

“Look, before I get sidetracked any further, I have this idea. Harvest Moon is hiding down on the ice shelf at the bottom of the world. I am not sure how to deal with him using my own methods. I can’t ambush him during the day, because I can’t go out in the daylight. And by night, he is bound to be strong. I don’t know if I want to walk into a nest full of quasi-immortal vampires. So I was thinking, Celestia, can you maneuver the sun around to the bottom of the world and wipe him off of the map with a solar flare?” Rookwood said, making a few gestures as he spoke.

“Absolutely not,” Celestia said. “I cannot abuse my power over the sun. Melting the ice shelf would cause massive flooding. There would be so many consequences.”

“Still not as bad as letting him live,” Rookwood replied.

“I cannot in good conscious do as you ask Rookwood,” Celestia returned. “Even if it is a good idea.”

“So you acknowledge it is a good idea,” Rookwood said, seizing upon Celestia’s words. “One quick strike. He sits in a fortress made of ice. One quick strike and Harvest Moon is burned to a cinder, his evil over.”

“Not at the cost of so much collateral damage,” Celestia said flatly.

“Luna is not in a position to help me right now, I am not sure how to kill the vampires, and you hold their weakness as your strength,” Rookwood reasoned.

“Rookwood, no,” Celestia said, shaking her head.

“Fine, I am sorry for bringing it up, do forgive me,” Rookwood replied.

“It is a good idea though,” Luna said. “But the next time you are punishing me for being a bad mare, you had better give me the focus and attention I deserve.”

“Bad mare?” Celestia asked.

“Mother Luna is not a bad mare,” Violet said with wide eyed innocence.

Celestia hugged the foal with one extended wing. “That’s right Violet,” she said to the foal.

“I felt really bad for letting Rookwood down after all that he has done for me. I had trouble finishing what I started. I actually feel really bad about it,” Luna said, squirming in her chair, her face flashing a look of sorrow for only a brief instant.

“Look, I didn’t want you to do it in the first place and I only allowed to happen because you insisted. I’m not upset. And I only ‘punished’ you because you wanted me to do that. Please, don’t be upset about it,” said Rookwood, hoping his words would comfort Luna. “The pastries were to get you to laugh about it because I know all about your sense of humour.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Rookwood was more mature than my sister,” Celestia mentioned as she exchanged a glance with the two ponies across the table.

Luna sniffled for a moment but said nothing. Instead, she viciously attacked a platter of fried potatoes, sliding it in front of her and eating directly from the platter. In moments, a sizable portion of the potatoes were gone, devoured while Luna squirmed in her seat.

“Any moment now, Luna is going to go dragging her backside over a really expensive carpet,” Rookwood observed.

“Rookwood,” Luna replied. “Thou art in trouble,” she finished.

Rookwood nodded. “Yeah I suppose I am,” he replied.

Violet giggled as she nibbled the corner of a turnover.

“Rookwood, why? I just complimented you on your maturity. What is it with you and this chaotic streak of yours?” Celestia asked. “And now, my sister is so upset that she is slipping back into the old tongue.”

“What is it with you and your rigid inflexibility?” Rookwood retorted. “The ends justify the means in my mind. You could end Harvest Moon’s reign of terror right now, but you refuse out of a sense of misplaced morality.”

Celestia glared at Rookwood and the room began to warm.

Rookwood glared back, and the temperature plunged. The room became so cold that the juices in the pitchers developed a thin layer of ice. The chill of the grave permeated the room quickly, overpowering any feeling of warmth.

“Enough, both you,” Luna commanded. “Your territorial pissings have long since infuriated me.”

Rookwood relented and the room began to warm. “I am sorry. I guess I don’t understand your reasons for refusal. I have trouble not taking the obvious solution. This would fix things quickly,” he stated.

Celestia’s hard glare softened. “I apologise as well. Rookwood, a solar flare would melt much of the ice cap. The sea levels would rise. Coastal cities all over the world would be flooded. There would be a massive loss of life. Moving the sun out of its orbit to use it as a weapon is something I would only do if I absolutely had to,” explained Celestia in a patient voice.

“History would vindicate us though, right? Make a few sacrifices, destroy hundreds of vampires that are making the world miserable, and poisoning the minds of foals. Minions of Nightmare Moon, Nightmare Moon who tortured, tormented, and raped all of us at this table, either directly or by proxy, all of them could be destroyed in one strike. Isn’t that what we talked about? Being immortal is all about making choices that mortals couldn’t?” Rookwood argued.

“Rookwood, it is more than that,” Celestia replied.

“I don’t get it,” Rookwood admitted.

“Rookwood, you take a very blunt approach to everything, and that is fine, it gives you something in common with Luna. Both of you compliment one another quite well. But you are new to this game. Luna could destroy it as well. All she would have to do is pull an asteroid into orbit, guide it with her magic, and then drop it down upon Harvest Moon’s fortress. It would obliterate him. Luna, would you do this?” Celestia asked.

“Nope,” Luna said.

“Why not?” Rookwood asked.

“Because things could go wrong. Orbital bombardment using meteor strikes is an extreme measure. I have done so in the past. And as it was in the past, the damage done would be mind blowing to all who witness it. And then for the next few generations, I have to earn the trust of every living creature on this planet, promising them I will not drop the fury of the heavens upon their heads. Sapient creatures tend to view such events with fear and mistrust, no matter how convincing or compelling your reasons are. Diplomatic relations with other nations would go to pot. They would acquiesce to every request out of fear rather than respect. All of the hard work my sister has done to portray herself as benevolent ruler would vanish the moment the meteor strike impacted and left behind a smoking ruin. The consequences would be dire,” Luna explained.

“That makes sense,” Rookwood admitted.

“It is different for you Rookwood. If you were to raise an army of the dead, it would be expected of you. And the moment that they were no longer needed, the dead would be put to rest. The long term consequences would be minimal for you. Sapient beings are supposed to fear you, and for good reason. Scaring everything senseless would only be beneficial for you in the long run, because you gain power with fear. Never let that go to your head Rookwood. I doubt it ever will, you are too slavishly devoted to my sister to ever stray and risk losing her affections. But for us, we have to keep the trust of the living. We cannot afford to scare them so badly that they all cower in fear of what may come next. We cannot become tyrants. We must remain gentle. That said, I will think upon your proposal. We can lose this sacred trust if we sit back and no nothing while great evil grows in strength,” Celestia said.

“Thank you for your consideration,” Rookwood replied in appreciation.

“The sun approaches,” Violet announced.

Author's Notes:

Writing Cheesy allowed me to clear the blockage.

Which is funny, because people say cheese causes blockages.

Anyhoo, let me know if I missed anything.