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Like Mending Glass

by Eyeswirl the Weirded

Chapter 5: Chapter 4: Picture Perfect Panic

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They stayed in the gardens for a few hours after Fluttershy and the toucan, whose name Blueblood was quite certain had been Douglas, had been introduced. He stood by as she gently coaxed any of the fauna that didn’t seem to remember the Shrieking Demon of The Gala and enjoyed the sights, sounds, and scents of the flower gardens quietly until more little animals approached to investigate. It wasn’t the swarm of cute critters she had initially dreamed of, but Fluttershy welcomed each and every creature that approached her with a warm smile, Blueblood standing almost perfectly still behind her, calm, but wary of anything that might dampen the fragile flyer’s mood in the slightest.

As Fluttershy held and cooed over the animals, she and the prince had gotten to talking about why she, native to Ponyville, he had thought, was in Canterlot. She explained that Twilight Sparkle, a close friend of hers, was preparing for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration and that, while she and the other Element Bearers were there to support Twilight however they could, Princess Luna had approached her with an offer regarding the chance to live a dream she’d thought she’d completely given up on. After that, most of the talking was on the prince’s part, Fluttershy listening quietly, just watching him with a faintly curious look in those big, soft eyes.

Blueblood managed not to say anything to indicate that he couldn’t name all of the ponies wielding an Element of Harmony off the top of his head. It’s not my fault Auntie sends me all over Equestria when important, world-endangering events are taking place, how is one to keep up with the news when so regularly tossed about the country like a royal boomerang?

He noted that not really trying very hard to find out the identities of the six national heroes might have been a failing on his part, but mostly he blamed the adventures he was sent on here and there. That delivery to the Griffon outpost may have been the worst, he thought, Terrible weather, crude architecture, lousy food, and that insufferable she-griffon they’d hired to escort me! While the prince tried to account the sheer number of ways she’d put him off, he noticed Fluttershy trotting off after a squirrel that seemed to be fleeing.

“Ohh, please,” She pleaded after it, taking flight to keep up with the little nut-hoarding furball, “You don’t have to be afraid! I promise not to touch your tail again if you’d rather I…

The rest of her statement was lost to another noise, something coming, and coming fast. Looking around, Blueblood made a mental note of which way Fluttershy went so as to go after her as soon as he’d dealt with whatever was here to make trouble. Nothing could be worse than seeing her cry again. A quick spell or two should be all it takes to… He paused, ears perked, is that a pony’s voice? Somepony else in the Royal Gardens? How did they get past secur-

Flootershy?,” a Germane-accented mare called, “Floooootershy?!

As she drew closer, Blueblood recognized the intruder, blue coat, dull grey mane, largely monochrome dress, and spectacles she never seemed to remove, the famous fashion photographer, Photo Finish. She stopped in front of him, jabbing a hoof in his direction. “You! Haff you seen a yellow pegasus come through here? I vas told she vould be in de gahden, de perrrrfect place for her natural beauty to-“ She raised the forehoof she was standing on to do a slow, sweeping motion in the air, the first hoof still pointed at the increasingly confused noblepony, “Shiiiiine!

There were several long seconds of silence as Blueblood wondered how she wasn’t falling over, both forehooves in the air, but she spoke again before he could ask.

“Now! Zere iz no time to delay, I must find zat model pony POST! HASTE! To continue to make… De magics!

At some point, she had moved uncomfortably close to Blueblood, her pink lenses nary an inch from his own eyeballs. Her heavy breathing did not help matters. He blinked, quickly taking a step back. “Ehmm, I don’t know who you’re talking about?” leading this pony to Fluttershy, while it would probably make the mare happy, at least until her apparent psychosis led her to want something else, would almost certainly make the quiet Pegasus very un-happy, which would make him unhappy, guilt-ridden, and possibly in Appaloosa. “Might I inquire as to how you gained access to the Roya-“

She stepped forward very quickly, once again violating his personal space. “Vere. Is. Flootershy?” Despite her ridiculous accent, her voice could actually be quite intimidating when released in a low hiss.

Blueblood, ears back and irises shrinking, found himself slightly less articulate in response. “Sh-she’s, uh, not here, she ju-just,” he stepped back, stumbling and almost tripping over a rake that had apparently been abandoned on the ground, not noticing Photo Finish’s slowly spreading grin, “I, c-could you not approach my royal person so-“

The fanatical photographer pointed a hoof at him very quickly, beaming. “YOU!”

The sudden movement from somepony already standing too close caused Blueblood to fall back in panic, his regal rear landing on the unfortunately-placed pointed ends of the rake.

Leaping into the air screaming in agony, if only for a few seconds, forehooves on one’s backside, was not a dignified, princely thing to do. It is for this reason that Prince Blueblood would assure any who would ever ask that he did no such thing.

When he landed, gently massaging the pained area with a hoof, he looked up to see Photo Finish beaming down at him. “Yoouuuuuu…

‘What? Me?’ Is what he had meant to ask, but given that he was only just recovering from the embarrassing incident of a few seconds ago and her increasingly frightening gaze, it came out more to the tune of a quiet, squeaky “Whameep?!”

“YOU, are de perrrrfect replacement!” Her every sentence was punctuated with extravagant hoof gestures. “I haff been lookingk for Flootershy for far too longk! Never haff I seen such grace, such elekance in a pony, be it stallion or mare!” Once again, Blueblood had pink glasses uncomfortably close to his face. “But you! You! Have…!” The last words were a near-silent breath that made the already trembling royal faintly wonder if it was at all possible the guards were on holiday or something, that they’d be explaining to Celestia just how their prince had come to be killed and eaten by a madmare this time tomorrow. “De Magics!

There was a short silence in which the frightened noblepony desperately fumbled for words, but Photo hooked a foreleg around one of his. “Ve go!”

He was picked up and sailed through the air as she ran along, grinning victoriously. Words came at last, though distorted by the undulation. “Wha-at, are, you-ou, do-o-oing?! I, a-am, a, pri-ince, of, Equestri-aa-a-a, PUT, ME, DO-OWN!!”

The blue earth pony, which is where Blueblood guessed the monstrous strength came from, only giggled merrily. “You vill be great model, don’t be shy!” She stopped dead a moment, the royal she had flying like a flag impacting the ground fairly hard beside her for a second before she lifted his hoof enough that their faces were touching. “Actually, yes,” she said with a grin, “beeee shyyyy!”

In involuntary accordance with her wish, Blueblood whimpered.

---

Not long after, the prince found himself alone in a dressing room somewhere in Downtown Canterlot, his old coat only slightly worse for wear from being dragged and flown through the streets like a kite with no string by the lunatic photographer. That alone struck him as less than dignified, he could only imagine what the street-going elites that must have seen him would be saying, what manner of headline there’d be for ever-composed Prince Blueblood being haplessly paraded through the city like a ragdoll in the hooves of an excitable foal, but now he was to make poses at a camera like some common performer?

It was too much, and he intended to tell Photo Finish just that. He briefly considered implying that kidnapping royalty could be punished with banishment, but recalled this was not the first time he had been held captive, even if his celestial aunt, laughing the whole time, insisted those fillies were just trying to get their cutie marks in ‘Canterlot Fanciness’, whatever that meant. I never did find out how the three of them got into the palace, let alone my personal chambers. Come to think of it, I don’t know if any guards even tried to apprehend them, or the madmare that brought me here, or why they’re paid if-

Blueblood jumped as the door slammed open, Photo Finish having returned from... Whatever crazy ponies do right after they kidnap somepony. “I,” she declared, whipping her tail aside once or twice, “Photo Finish, haff arrived!

As she trotted towards him and set up a camera tripod, Blueblood cleared his throat to speak. “Now, see here yo-“

“No.” Photo’s head shot up from the camera as she fired the word at him.

The prince blinked, he was sure it hadn’t been that long since somepony dared interrupt him speaking, but he didn’t dislike it any less. “I will tell you here and now that-“

No!

“I have had just about enou-“

No!

Blueblood’s resolve was starting to waver at the sheer forcefulness with which she spoke. Is that really necessary to get models to do what she wants? I’d think they’d all jump at the chance to sit, stay, and roll over for bits. His uncertainty showed in his face, lacking that royal air of confidence he’d held and intended to beat Photo over the head with mere seconds ago.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

This seemed to please the photographer somehow, as she gave a small grin before taking a picture. “Yeeees!”

The prince, blinded for a second by the flash, shook his head, outrage once again welling up in his being. “Listen to me you lowl-“

No!

It was as if she was slapping him across the face with the utterance.

“I-“

No!

His ears started to fold back, head lowering as fear started to retake the place righteous indignation had wrested from it. “Y-you can’t treat a Prince of Equestria this w-“

“Yes…” She didn’t look or sound entirely certain now. Another flash.

He staggered, blinking rapidly, weighing the pros and cons of using a few well-rehearsed spells to escape. I haven’t mastered teleportation yet, the smokescreen spell can be a bad idea in an enclosed area, if bumbling through the royal library in a fog taught me anything, the fireball spell is mostly just heat if applied correctly, but I was detained for a while after last time, maybe if-

“ACH!”

Photo looked alarmed, as though realizing something she’d previously overlooked. “Zis was not de magics! Vhat I seek comes more of de natural vorld!” Without warning, she pounced, tearing the old, dark green coat off Blueblood’s back with one movement of her muzzle.

He had worn it fully expecting ruin and stains from dealing with Fluttershy and the animals, but he couldn’t help but blush for a second or two at being naked, both for it being an unfamiliar feeling of exposure and the knowledge that hardly any self-respecting noblepony would be seen in such a state.

Blueblood gathered his thoughts for a moment as Photo returned to the camera saying something about natural looks. Anger. He focused on anger now, this had gone far enough! “I don’t care if you’re popular with starry-eyed fools with dreams of fame,” he seethed, “I will not be made an animal to dance for your-“

CRACK!!

A small explosion. Noise reverberating off the walls for a few seconds after it had sounded. Dazed by the cacophony, he looked around, only to find nothing smouldering, shattered, or even damaged.

What he did notice, however, was the madmare who’d abducted him holding a whip, grinning ear to ear. “Aaaanimaaaaal,” She breathed, speaking remarkably well with the tool in her mouth, “Yessss, zat iz de nature, zat iz… de magics!” She cracked the whip in the air not far from Blueblood’s rear hooves, making him jump again. “Scratch your ears wiff a hoof! Roll on de floor! No, wait, bark! BARK LIKE A DOG!!”

The sight of her raising the whip again, though he hadn’t been directly acquainted with it yet, was all Blueblood needed to engage one of his favorite fallback plans.

Blind. Panic.

Charging up his horn, he fired a bright, glowing orb of harmless light at the camera, using the instant of distraction to gallop toward the window, cast a very short-lived intangibility spell to slip through the thin panes, and a spell that slowed his falling just in case he was, as he had suspected, not on ground level. He hadn’t been, and drifted gently to the safe streets of Canterlot.

He smirked, the running start paired with the intangibility spell had allowed him a few times in the past to gain entry to places that not even his Skeleton Key could open the way to, for lack of a lock to consort with. Nowhere I can’t go, he thought proudly, just before looking around to see the steadily increasing numbers of high-society ponies staring at his state of very public undress.

The prince opened his mouth to deliver a hastily-thought-up lie about it being a long-forgotten clothing-free holiday in honor of Celestia’s usual choice to only wear her regalia, but was cut off by another crack of a whip, very close behind him. He quickly turned his head to see Photo Finish, a wide, twisted grin holding onto the noisy instrument of torture.

They stared eachother down for perhaps a minute before Blueblood fired another bright, harmless sphere into her face and shot off, galloping down the street as if his life depended on it.

Little did he know Photo Finish’s glasses were not for show. Well, they were in the sense that the many fashion shows she attended involved a lot of bright, flashing lights and she had long ago prepared accordingly. Not fazed by the retreating royal’s magic, she gave chase, cracking the whip dangerously close to his flanks as she ran after him, half of Canterlot watching the spectacle in awe.

Author's Notes:

Photo Finish never could find another model quite like Fluttershy…

Next Chapter: Chapter 5: Just Taking Care of Business Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 48 Minutes
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