Dear Diary,

I just did that. I really just did that…

We ran through Ponyville, back over the bridge and into the Everfree Forest. We didn’t even care about avoiding the path. We didn’t have time.

Twilight’s face, from what I could see between the heavy breathing and frequent glances in every direction, seemed pained and confused. After seeing Cherilee afraid of her, I had to wonder how much it hurt her to see the town she lived in flee her presence.

And the news of Luna being assassinated, the voice in the back of my head added. With her gone too, what mentors did she have left? This bothered me. I wasn’t sure if I believed whoever it was that had been in the library when he said Luna had been assassinated. I knew they were dressed the same way as the guards in Canterlot Castle, but deception had been the order of the day since I got here.

“Wha- what happened back there?” we slowed our pace a bit, not being able to run much further. How long had we been at it? I had no idea. We were deep in the Everfree. I couldn’t see anything of Ponyville. Twilight looked at me. “How did you do that?”

“I- I don’t- I have… no idea,” I spoke between short breaths, trying to get control over them again. We were standing in the middle of the closest thing to a road I had seen in the forest. It took a turn in front of us. “It just… happened… phew… I just need a minute to… catch my breath…”

“We should not linger here; the Timber Wolves are near!” Zecora held a hand up in the air.

“Timber W-,” I began, but she covered my mouth with her hand. Adrenaline was still pumping, so I couldn’t even be mad at her. My brain was still operating out of the “fight or flight” part.

“Wooden Wolves,” Twilight whispered to me, trying to give a fast explanation. I had to raise an eyebrow at that. The idea seemed incoherent. Then again, I had just blasted four guards from Canterlot with a magic spell I didn’t even know I could do. Compared to that, wooden wolves seemed downright plausible. The image of the dead guard seemed to linger in my mind. But, before I could reflect on it further, Zecora started to lead the way again.

**

As we came around the turn, my mouth fell open. A castle stood before us. It wasn’t quite as large as the one in Canterlot, from what I could see between the trees, and it was clearly a forgotten ruin. Nature had started to claim it for itself.

To get inside, we had to cross a meager looking bridge of ropes and plants, set up in between the barely visible vestiges of a stone bridge that had once stood here. A few more years and even that would no longer be visible.

“Why aren’t we going back to… the hut?” I whispered as we crossed. It felt remarkably solid for what it was. That said, I still didn’t feel at all comfortable walking over it, and I refused to look down.

“Many in Ponyville know where I nest; finding another is for the best. Returning to Twilight’s home was a big mistake; such a risk we cannot again take.”

“So, why the big castle in the middle of the forest? Won’t people look here to?” It seemed counterintuitive to be hiding in a castle rather than a hut. Sure it was bigger, but the castle was nowhere near as easy to overlook.

“Most people don’t know about it,” Twilight said. We came out on the other side of the bridge. From here, the castle looked even bigger, and I could see remnants of old houses on the ground. This place had been a town once, with the castle at the center. “I only knew about it because I read lots of old legends and maps. We’ll be as safe here as anywhere. Equestrians have been avoiding Everfree forest for centuries, so the existence of this place has largely been forgotten.”

I was going to ask why, but something told me I didn’t want to hear the answer. An old curse maybe? The way things had been going I would surely trigger something about it if I asked. Better to be ignorant and blameless right now.

“This is where Princess Luna transformed into Nightmare Moon,” it was as if Twilight had read my mind, the way she added on the sentence.

The front gates were unhinged, so we walked straight in. It appeared a lot like the castle in Canterlot did, just worn and falling apart. Rubble and pieces of wall and roof could be found strewn around on the floor. ‘Safe’ was not the word I would use to describe it.

Twilight led us through a few rooms, and up a flight of stairs. We ended up in a large room. It was empty, save for a large statue with five arms at the far end. On our way over to it, I noticed a collection of stone shards on the floor.

“This is where I faced Nightmare Moon, when she returned,” Twilight said distant mindedly. “I had just started to get to know Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Applejack. She destroyed the physical forms of the Elements of Harmony like it was nothing. I was overwhelmed by despair for the coming Eternal Night, until I heard the voices of my friends… sorry, I shouldn’t- I was just struck with the thought that I haven’t returned to this room since it happened. And…”

I could see it on her that Twilight would give anything to hear the voice of her friends again right now. Maybe that was why she had led us to this room? Did she hope to relive that moment?

“Anyway,” Twilight shook her head and got more serious. She turned to me, with a critical look on her face. “What happened back in the library?”

“I told you, I don’t know. I was overcome with a vision or something of you being…” I stopped, that was more than I had intended to tell her. There was no going back now. “I saw you mindlessly serving the false Celestia with a black stare… and a feint green light glowing in your eyes. Maybe it was just an image in my head, but that is the last thing I remember happening before the amulet started to go warm and I was blinded. When I could see again, whatever the amulet had done was already over.”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the whole truth. I had felt everything in the room as if I held it my hands. How could I tell her that I had pushed it all away just by wanting to, when I didn’t even understand it myself?

“I see,” Twilight just said, looking out of a window. Zecora seemed to have disappeared on us. “It’s just- I don’t know what to think about this. How can the magic in an amulet work like that? Only unicorns and alicorns should be able to use the magic in an amulet like this, and yet you did. It makes no sense!”

She started to pace back and forth, frustrated.

“This is about more than that, isn’t it?”

“Well, I- yes,” she stopped, hanging her head slightly. “With Luna dead, I- I don’t know anymore.”

“I don’t think she’s dead.”

“But the Royal Guard said-“

“And you believe them?”

“You think they lied?”

“I think they were lied to,” I put extra emphasis on the last word. I didn’t think they had lied to us but I didn’t believe Luna was dead. I just didn’t. If she had been assassinated after she visited my dream, how did the Royal Guards get to Ponyville so fast? And if it had happened before she visited my dream, how had she visited my dream? Luna was alive: I could feel it. And I started to suspect that the bad news she was going to share with me had something to do with this.

“I need to talk to someone,” I blurted out, having been absorbed in my own thoughts. I must have interrupted Twilight.

“Huh?”

“Luna, I need to talk to Luna,” it was only half the truth. I also needed to talk to Sombra. He knew more about this magic than anyone. Maybe he knew what had happened? Twilight wouldn’t be much help on figuring out the amulet’s magic. And I still debated with myself if I should tell her about Sombra being in my dreams. No, I wasn’t debating it, when I thought about it further. I was going to tell Twilight everything when I had spoken to Sombra. “She visited my dreams when Zecora gave me the cure. If she’s still alive, she’ll show up again tonight.”

I looked at Twilight. She seemed a bit confused at the direction I had suddenly taken the conversation.

“I’m tired,” she answered me. “Getting some sleep would be a good idea. And if Luna comes to us, it will be all the better. Maybe she can help us plan ahead.”

I nodded, taking her hand.

**

Twilight and I backtracked to the entrance hall, along the way checking every door for a bedroom. She didn’t seem much more familiar with this place than I was, except how to get to that one room.

“Are you worried about Zecora?” I asked. Where had she gone?

“No, why would I be? She said she was going to restock on ingredients. She lives in the Everfree; she can take care of herself.”

“Wait, when did she say that?”

“Just before we entered the ruins. She said she often comes here for the rare plants that now grow wild in the gardens.”

“Oh…” it was all I could say. How could I have missed that? “Sorry, I must have been… Well, good, I just don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Yeah…” she sounded distant as she opened a room. “Finally!”

In what felt like the hundredth room we looked into we finally saw a bed. The room was clearly a bedchamber for someone who had served in the castle, since it only had the bare minimum of personal comforts. There was a single dresser, a stool and a bed that couldn’t have been made for more than one person. If Twilight and I weren’t close, I would have resigned myself to sleeping on the floor.

“Its old and dusty, but looks fine otherwise,” Twilight had started to inspect the bed. It had an old mattress of sorts, made from dried animal hide. “These old beds were made to last. Won’t be as comfortable as my bed, but it should do.”

She smiled at me, signaling that she wanted me to get in first. I decided to leave my clothes on, since there was no blanket or pillow. As I got into the bed, she walked over and pushed the door almost fully shut. A little light still shone in, but it was too dark for me to see much before my eyes adjusted.

Once I was in bed, Twilight came in after me. We shuffled around, trying to find the position that would give both of us the most space possible. I ended up as the Big Spoon, with her as the Small Spoon. It was as good as position as we could hope for, and this way I wouldn’t have to worry about being poked by the horn in the middle of the night. And I couldn’t complain about her hindquarters being pressed against my loins either. I closed my eyes after wishing Twilight a good night.

**

I thought I heard something outside the door. I didn’t know how long we had been lying here. Time was hard to tell. I hadn’t been able to fall asleep yet. I kept my eyes half-closed, peeking out from behind Twilight’s body.

The door opened and in the moonlight I could see it was only Zecora. I didn’t feel how tense I had become before the relief kicked in and I let out my breath again. I hadn’t even noticed that I had held it. She looked at us for a moment, smiling to herself, before she closed the door again.

“Are you awake?” Twilight whispered.

“Yeah. I can’t really sleep.”

“Me neither,” she seemed to press her bum against me a bit harder. “I do… Well… maybe we could try something to… never mind….”

I had to smile at the contrast between this time and earlier. Twilight had gone from pinning me on the ground as foreplay, to being nervous and hesitant. I didn’t say anything in response. Instead I reached around her body, placing my hand between her legs, and gently started to rub against her clit through her clothes.

“You said… said something about exploring my… fantasies, didn’t you?” She referred back to earlier this night, I assumed. I whispered “yeah” back to her, moving my hand into her pants.

“Okay then,” she sounded more nervous than ever. “Could you… me up and… like a…”

I couldn’t make out what she said fully, only a fractured sentence. Her voice had dropped to inaudibility at a few of the worlds.

“What?”

“I… uhm, this is so embarrassing… I- I want you to tie me up and… fuck me like a- like a bitch…”

“Like a bitch?”

“Yeah, well, you know, like using me for your pleasure… ever since Pinkie involved herself…”

I could only imagine how rosy red her cheeks had to be at this point. Was this a common thing among the bearers of the Elements? Fluttershy seemed to have enjoyed something like that too. But, then again, I thought, having power could lead you to wish for situations where you didn’t. It certainly made sense to me as an opposite of the dominatrix behavior Luna had exhibited. I chuckled to myself a bit.

“I’m sorry if that’s too wei-“

“You got any rope?”

I felt her tense up when I whispered my response into her ear, nibbling on it a little. I moved my hand out of her pants, placing it in front of Twilight’s mouth. My index and middle finger were sticky from her juices. Without hesitation she sucked them clean.

“No…”

“So let’s go find some.”

“No, it is okay… you don’t have to do this for me, it is a silly fan-“

“I’m not; we’re doing it because I want to do it,” I was getting a little annoyed with her hesitation. In fact, it made me want to take charge even more. Something hit me; maybe she wanted me to?

I pushed at her so she had to get out of the bed. She resisted me a bit, but budged when she felt I wasn’t backing down. Jumping out of the bed after her, I took hold of her hand and made my way out in the hallway. Checking all of those rooms had come in handy; I remembered a janitor’s supply room that looked mostly intact only a few rooms away. Twilight had this blush about her, and a small smile on her lips. Every time I looked at her she tried to hide it.

In the room I was thinking about we did indeed find some rope. It wasn’t much, but it was still in pretty good shape. Not something I thought Twilight could tear up during this. And, more importantly, it was enough of it.

Without waiting for us to get back to the bedroom, I bent Twilight’s arms behind her back, starting to bind them together. I noticed that her breath had grown heavier and that she was oddly stiff in any movements.

“Please, I’ve never done this with a guy before, so-“

“Don’t worry,” I replied, in as sugarcoated a tone as I could. She seemed to relax a bit when I did. As the knot was finished and I was sure her hands couldn’t get free, I pushed her up against the wall, face first. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough for her to feel it. My tone changed to a more sinister one, cutting of her reactionary outburst. “I’ll hold back… a little. I need to get back at you for slamming me into the ground earlier.”

Twilight flinched as I put my fingers in her mouth again, but didn’t say anything. She just did as I wanted and started to suck them. I had enjoyed dominating Fluttershy, but there was something else about this. Seeing Twilight bound and up against the wall gave me a sense of control that I didn’t have that time with Fluttershy. It hadn’t become apparent to me before now, but I realized I had longed for this. Perhaps it was because I really was in control for once, now that Molly was out of my head.

I stood behind her, pressing my erection against her ass through our clothes. Removing my fingers from Twilight’s mouth, I used one of my hands to keep her pressed against the wall. With my free one, I reached up under her shirt, feeling her up from the navel to her bra. I nicked a finger under it, pushing it above her chest. Her nipples were what I was after; with hard pinches and a little twisting, I made her moan.

Grabbing a handful of her breast, I pulled her around to face me. With our foreheads touching, I whispered gruffly: “If you’re not quiet, Zecora might hear us.” She was about to retort, but I stopped her by covering her mouth with the hand that had held her against the wall. I let go of her nipple with the other one, sliding it up her shirt to grab her by the neck. With a quick motion, I forced her down on her knees.

I let go of her completely for a few seconds; just long enough for me to get my cock out of my pants. I didn’t feel the need to undress more than absolutely necessary. Without any further ado, I placed my hand at the back of her head and pushed her mouth towards it. As she opened her mouth without question or hesitation, it struck me that she enjoyed the submissive role a whole lot. She smiled and blushed as my movements gave her directions she could respond to without thinking.

Her tongue moved around my erection, alternating between licking the underside and circular motions around the head, like she had done before. I let her do it for a couple of minutes, before I made another move.

With my hand still at the back of her head, I pushed forward and pulled her closer at the same time. She started to pull away almost immediately, gagging and grasping for air, but I didn’t give her much time to do so before I pushed in again. This time I knew she’d try to pull away, so I was better prepared to hold her in place. I didn’t hold her for too long though. It felt good, but pushing the gag reflexes... this wasn’t the time.

I pulled out of her mouth entirely. Twilight almost seemed disappointed for a moment, until I sidestepped and forced her upper body down of the floor. She was on the floor, with her ass sticking up in the air.

As her pants and panties came down around her knees, I took a grip on her ass cheeks, pushing them aside. I collected as much spit has I could and let it dribble out right above her butthole. Moving one of my hands over, I used the thumb to prod her ass, getting some of the spit in there, as it trickled downwards. Twilight wasn’t even trying to suppress the moans; I could see the juices flow freely from her pussy.

“Ah!”

I put my second thumb in her ass, using it to pull is slightly apart. The act sent shivers through her. I removed one hand to guide my member to the entrance. As soon as I removed the second thumb, I started to gently prod her. A couple of seconds later I put more force behind it, slowly pushing it in as deeply as I could get it. It was tight. Tighter than Rarity had been and even tighter than the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Nnyyaaa!”

The moan cracked halfway through and I saw Twilight go notably more limp. A quick glance behind me showed that she had just squirted all over the floor, and I hadn’t gotten more than half of me inside her. I continued to push, but to no avail. It was simply not possible for me to get it further in. As I pulled myself out again, Twilight looked up at me with half-closed eyes. She looked so happy.

Her look made me push in in her ass again, with greater force. I didn’t get any deeper, but I did get more whimpers. Almost half-heartedly, she got tighter as I pulled myself out again, as if she didn’t want me to leave. I obliged her, by pushing in again. And again, harder and harder. Every time I had to stop at the same point. Before long, I could feel the pressure start to build to the point where I had to hold back. My breath grew heavy.

“Just… one more… try!”

I was determined to get as deep in her as possible with the last thrust before I gave in. After having stretched her ass some already, I managed to get a little deeper, but not much. I felt myself start to cum even before I had to stop.

“That was… fun…” I spoke between breaths as I pulled out and helped Twilight back to her feet. She stood there with her pants and undergarments around her knees until I got the knot untied again. I couldn’t help but stare at the Cutie Mark a bit. The pink and white star with five white stars around it was actually kinda beautiful, in its own way. Not a tattoo I would have chosen myself, but then I didn’t have purple skin.

“Yeah…” Twilight didn’t seem to have much more to say to that. “Let’s… let’s get back t the room. I think I’m gonna fall asleep any second now…”

I nodded in agreement. Whatever had kept me awake earlier seemed to have disappeared from my body now. I let out a heavy sigh as I took her hand.

**

I awoke in the bed I remembered laying down in, but there wasn’t any sign of Twilight. Was I dreaming again? I made my way to the other side of the room. When I opened the door, I was greeted by the throne room I had seen Luna in in the last dream. So I was dreaming. Good. Luna herself was waiting for me on the throne itself. She didn’t look pleased.

“You’re dead?” I asked her. Sombra would likely come any moment now. I had to get it out of the way.

“Yes.”

“Then why are you here, in my dreams?”

“Alicorns are immortal. Only my body is dead. And it will return in another thousand years or so.”

“Ah, Princess Luna. A pleasure. And the Summoner, I hadn’t expected this reunion quite so soon,” I had been right. Just as Luna finished speaking, the tall figure of Sombra appear. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood. Luna scoffed and disappeared in a flash of blue light. “Hmm, I had expected her to put up a fight of sorts, like last time. Did Cer’Lola become a pushover in the last millennia, or is she playing at something else?”

“Cer’Lola?” I raised an eyebrow as Sombra walked up to the throne and took Luna’s seat.

“Old title for the one who just left us. The Night Demon, or Nightmare Moon. Now,” he leaned forward, resting his chin on his folded hands. “What happened?”

“How do you know something happened?” part of me was still determined to not tell him anything I didn’t have to.

“With anyone else I would have assumed you were lying before, but something tells me you have been mostly truthful towards me. I want to know what caused one of the Shards to suddenly activate. Either, by some amazing coincidence, someone capable of using the Crystal Magic happened to activate one merely hours after you summoned me, or you did something to activate it. I’m assuming the later.”

“I have no idea what the Shards are… but something did happen,” I drew my breath. Sombra just stared at me, waiting for me to continue. “W- we were ambushed. We were going to be taken back to the Changelings in chains when I cast a spell. It overpowered the Royal Guards, letting us escape.”

“And ‘we’ means Twilight Sparkle and yourself?”

“So, you’re saying that the spell I casted activated a shard?” I ignored his question. He seemed fine with it. Or did he? He didn’t seem to show much of what he thought at all. It was just a neutral, almost blank, stare.

“Yes, and this presents an opportunity for us,” he smiled. “The Shards are powerful, but useless unless activated. Which can only be done by tapping into the Crystal Magic. The Shards can bring me back to life. Do so and I will help you fight these Changelings.”

“And what else would you do if you returned?” this struck me as unnerving, how quickly he was willing to pledge himself to helping me.

“Take back my Empire from the Fellow Ascended, of course. But if these Changelings have the Alicorns worried, you can be assured that I would have just as much reason to want to drive them to extinction as you do. If they are a threat to the Alicorns, they will be a threat to me. And threats need to be dealt with, before they become a permanent problem.”

“Who is this Fellow Ascended, and why should I trust you to help us if you come back to life?”

“The Fellow Ascended would be the Alicorn going by the name of Cadence, if my memory serves. Like me, she was once mortal. Not so much anymore,” Sombra slouched on the throne and summoned a goblet. After taking a sip he continued. “You’re not required to trust me – by the way, this is the only way I can taste anything these days, so forgive my drinking – but I have this odd feeling you don’t have many other places to turn. I’m a powerful sorcerer, even without the Crystal Heart in my possession, enough to challenge an Alicorn. All you need to do is bring me back to the mortal world, and stay out of my way when I reclaim my throne.”

“Coming from me that wouldn’t mean much,” I said, referring to the last condition. “I wouldn’t be able to keep anyone else from trying to stop you.”

“Anyone in command of the Crystals is a force to be reckoned with, Dream Host. I do not care about the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Now that I have faced them before, I know how to beat them. Kill one and the rest of the Elements will be useless. After that, the only one among them that remains a threat would be the Marked by Magic.”

“And I wouldn’t let you do that!”

“If you say so. All I ask is that you stay out of my way. And if your care about Twilight, you’ll tell her to do the same.” He leaned forward and his eyes narrowed. “For now, either bring me back and we’ll be able to defeat the Changelings together. Once that is done, the Heavenly Sisters and I can go back to trying to kill each other if we choose. Or don’t and lose your best chance at survival. That Luna is dead suggests that the situation is getting out of control for you. What you ultimately decide means little to me. My return to the world of the living has already been ordained; it’s only a matter of time. Ah, but I see that I am overstaying my welcome. Not to worry, I can leave of my own volition this time. You might want to find out what has weakened the summoning spell since we last met.”

Sombra disappeared in a flash of purple and black magic, leaving me hanging. So he wanted me to return him to life in exchange for help against the Changelings. I really had to hear what Twilight had to say about this.

“So the Betrayer is gone,” I turned around. Luna had appeared once more. “What did he want?”

“He offered to help us defeat the Changelings in return for bringing him back to life.”

“I warn you,” Luna seemed worried. “Sombra has a heart devoid of compassion. He cares only for his own power. He’ll be your enemy the moment you’re no longer useful to him.”

“I know, he said so, but,” I hesitated. “But he also had a point; we don’t have anyone else who can help us.”

Luna shook her head.

“And he’s certainly powerful enough to beat them isn’t he?”

“Yes, he is. His is the rival of the Alicorn. He could be a great asset in the war against the Changelings, but that will only lead to another war with him. I cannot say I think it will accomplish anything,” she shook her head again, giving me a concerned look. “I am glad it seems I was wrong about you being in league with the Betrayer. For now I will meditate on what to do next, but you should wake up. Twilight will want to speak to you. I am afraid I already told her that Sombra was in your dreams. She was angry, but I asked her to not wake you up. My most sincere apologies if I caused a rift between the two of you.”

“A lot of fucking good that would do. You really are terrible with relationships, you know that?” I mumbled. In response she just rolled her eyes and disappeared again.

**

I opened my eyes. The moonlight was shining into the room. The door was open, and I could see Twilight standing by one of the windows in the hallway, back turned to me. I got out of the bed and walked over to her.

“Hey…”

“Luna told you?” the response was cold, but not hostile. I had expected her to yell at me. I affirmed. “I thought she would do that. Said she needed to talk to you about it.”

“You’re not mad?” I couldn’t believe she was being this calm. I laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Of course I am mad,” she brushed my hand aside, gently. She didn’t raise her voice, but when she turned to me I saw she had cried. “But I’m more hurt that you didn’t trust me to tell me right away.”

My insides would have felt better if I were burning alive. Anger would have been easy to deal with, or easier anyway. This calmer, disappointed Twilight made me feel much worse.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve. I…” My words just trailed off, trying to find the right words to say. It was hard, but eventually I found a way to tell her the truth. I took a deep breath. “I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen if anyone else knew. I almost died when Zecora freed me from Molly. The last thing I wanted then was another intervention. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can. I still love you. I just want you to trust me the way I trust you. Don’t be afraid to tell me anything. You don’t have to be afraid of me leaving you because of it. If the Changelings, or Sombra or anyone else are trying to influence or control you, we can only fix it together. You don’t have to do it alone. You can’t.”

‘Love you’, the words felt unreal, as did the rest of what she had said. Was that why I had hesitated to tell her? I made a sound that I felt got an affirmation across. I didn’t do anything else to move or speak. I just stood there, staring out at the moon beside Twilight.

Author's Notes:

As always, feel free to tell me what you liked, what you didn't like and any speculation regarding the story.

Be sure to check out the blogpost explaining the "Lost Chapters" if you haven't already. It offers a chapter with a new POV for the story. Link is here: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/323500/the-lost-chapters-of-dear-diary

And do not forget to check out my blogpost about the recent milestone for "Dear Diary - In Equestria". It reached 10,000 views on the Counter, and I'm really happy about it. Linky: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/339477/yay-for-in-equestria