Whoopsie, gotta ride.

Whoopsie, gotta ride.

“WHOOPSIE, GOTTA RIDE! I've been away for way too long, my one liners have gone from 80's action movie awesome to bad Looney Tunes,” I berated myself as I hauled ass through the streets of Canterlot. I know what your thinking, hey Rider I thought you could hit 100mph easy and no pony can reach that kinda speed, shut up, you try to evade these clowns without running over innocent ponies. Yeah, that's right, the streets of Canterlot are packed in the middle of the afternoon, if this was late at night I could be out and away by now, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.

“At least there aren't any unicorns shooting at me,” I thought right before a bolt of yellow energy whistled pasted my head to take out a street sign, I really gotta quit temping fate like that. It was quickly followed by a fusillade of more shots, making it feel like I was being chased down by a pissed off rainbow.

“Okay, change of plan, I ain't getting away from them in a straight sprint, time to get creative,” I decided as I hurdled by ponies more scared of me than of the magic-y death bolts flying by obliterating everything they hit. Then, I noticed a brown earth pony take a hit from a bolt of orange energy and it didn't even singe his coat. That bitch Celestia must have taught them a spell that doesn't hurt ponies but screws up anything else, a.k.a. my bony butt.

With a quick thought my chains had turned into a short pole with a wicked hook in my right hand, as I looked for a likely target. There it was, the perfectly timed street lamp, maybe my luck was looking up after all, but that hope faded fast as the hook simply passed through the metal pole with only token resistance. Crap, I forgot to make sure the hook wasn't bladed, but with a resounding crash some of the shouting guards were silenced, hope I didn't kill anypony who didn't deserve it.

The next light was rapidly approaching and with a quick flick of the wrist the sharpened edge became as dull as the guards that where chasing me. Giving the engine a bit more power and locking my legs tighter to the bikes frame I got ready for what was about to happen. A few seconds later the hook on the end of my pole caught the street lamp full on and the direction of my momentum began to shift. It took everything my bony arms had in them, but with a slew of hot cobble stones and rapidly changing gforces I whipped the bike around in a tight half circle that left me heading straight at the pursuing guards.

“How about a game of chicken!” I taunted as I flipped my chain back around my body and the earth ponies locked shields in a phalanx in front of the retreating unicorns and a lone pegasus took to the air. This was starting to look hairy, I couldn't just blast through their formation for fear of accidentally killing an innocent, same for the sides with all the civilians still huddling in fear. A few feet shy of the their spear points I jerked the handle bars to the left and brought the front wheel up to crash full on into the nearest wall and continue on past them using the wall as my new road.

“I guess you win!” I shouted back as I sped passed the now thoroughly confused guard formation that had grown since I had first locked eyes on it back at the museum. No fair, calling for reinforcements.

I jumped an alleyway a few feet away from where I took out that other street light and could see four guards helping a fifth who had both his back legs broken, it was okay though, he had it coming.

With a quick flip I was back rolling along the cobble stone streets and, much to my relief, not being followed just yet. It was time for some more genius evasive maneuvers from yours truly to ensure those idiots couldn't catch up to me and get the hell out of Dodge before they called for Her Royal Bitchiness.

“Can't be that hard, can it,” I pondered as I took a quick right into a maze of alleys and brought the intensity of the hellfire on my tires down to barely above a warming haze. I took a few more turns and brought the bike to a stop behind a group of dumpsters to wait out these clowns, with any luck they would think I'd left the city and that would give me the time I needed to escape.

“Quickly, it's over here!” came a shout from above me. Looking up I spotted the source, the red pegasus from earlier, she must have realized what I had planned, sort of, and been following me as their little eye in the sky. So, I did what any reasonable, flame headed being would do I gassed it hard enough to cause the dumpsters I was hiding behind to explode into fountains of flaming trash. The burning debris should be a good distraction and be a bit of a fire wall to my pursuers.

I burst out onto the streets a moment later and started looking for a good way to shake this flying asshole before this got too far outta hand. Then, I spotted a nice six story apartment building that would be perfect to get this fool to buzz off. Kicking the bike onto its back wheel yet again I met the wall with much less force this time and continued on at the vertical, completely ignoring gravity, as ponies everywhere gasped at my physics defying feat of awesomeness.

It didn't take long to reach the top and with a quick jump I came down hard on the flat roof to wait for my little stalker. A few seconds later she crested the lip of the roof herself and started hovering a good ten feet above me. Dismounting, I unshouldered my chain and started whipping it around like a steel lasso.

“Yeehaw!” I shouted as I sent the far end flying out to wrap around her foreleg and started pulling her in. She put up a valiant effort but in the end she was no match for me superior strength.

“You're really starting to piss me off,” I hissed as I grabbed her by the throat with my free hand.

“Y-yeah, s-s-sorry,” she stammered with what little air she could get.

“That's a good guard, now run along before Wayne Brady has to smack a bitch,” I warned before releasing her and feeding out the chain still wrapped around her leg. When, she reached her original height I planted my feet into the roof and started to swing her in a rapidly quickening circle. I released the chains grip when I was sure she would be too dizzy to get back into the chase anytime soon and sent her flying away... straight towards Canterlot Castle, where I'm sure Celestia lived... fuck. Quickly remounting my bike I slammed it in gear and, taking a page from Batman's playbook, started using the roofs of the surrounding building as an escape route as I hopped from one to the next.

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Canterlot Castle

Celestia sat in her favorite room over looking Canterlot as she sipped her afternoon tea and enjoyed the peaceful serenity offered by this quiet nook of the castle that was forbidden to all except a few close associates. The day had been hectic to say the least, the nobles had spent it bombarding her with menial and selfish requests in the hopes that she would see things there way for once, she hadn't as usual, but that didn't stop them from trying. She was considering a vacation even though she was sure that all hell would break loose in her absence.

“Maybe I'm over reacting, Luna should be more than capable of handling them without incident,” she mused to herself as she took a long sip and let the tea's rich flavor wash away some the stress from her day.

“I just wish something exciting would happen, I need something to break the monotony of my day,” she sighed with a whimsical look in her eye. As if the universe heard her request, one of the many windows exploded in a shower of glass and her tea cup was knocked from her telekinetic grasp by a blur of red and flying feathers.

“Ah, Private Storm Kicker, to what do I owe this impromptu visit,” she said with a bit of irritation seeping out in her voice, even though her face still held its usual regal mask.

“Princess I have dire news, myself and the other guards are currently in pursuit of a-a thing,” the private informed Celestia as she tried unsuccessfully to get her eyes to stop spinning.

“A creature? Tell me, what did it look like?”

“Well, Princess, it was bipedal, it rides around on the strangest bicycle I've ever seen, and it uses a cha-”

“Was it on fire!?!” shouted Celestia cutting off the now terrified guard. She had never seen the Princess look so frightened and sound so worried in her entire life.

“Y-yes ma'am, it was. How did you know?”

“That doesn't matter, inform all the guards that they are to move into a position to contain this threat and to help citizens get to safety. Also, my Demon Hunters will have command and will be the ones to take the creature down, I don't want any heroics,” ordered Celestia with all her centuries of authority behind it.

“Yes ma'am, shall I also inform you sister, Princess Luna, of these events as well,” asked Storm Kicker as she made ready to fly out the way she came in and relay the Princess's orders.

“No, that will not be necessary. This is to remain strictly confidential, my sister is to not know of these events, is that understood?”

“As you command, Princess,” with a flutter of wings she was out the window and winging her way to the barracks to relay the orders given to her by the Princess.

“All this time and now it all comes back to haunt me. This time, I will not let you corrupt my sister and take her from me as you once did Rider,” whispered Celestia to herself as she watched the red pegasus fly away.

“Are you alright madam, I heard a crash and thought I should check in on you?” came the low voice of an earth pony maid, Tea Service.

“Yes Tea, I'm fine. Do me a favor, head down to the kitchens, grab a couple six packs of Apple Family Hard Cider and a bottle of Wild Pegasus, and meet me in my chambers, I'll meet you there once I get this mess cleaned up,” Celestia replied letting too much of her stress show in her voice.

“Right away Princess,” replied Tea Service as she slipped out the door.

“Please do not let this day get any worse, just lay down like a good demon and let my Demon Hunters kill you,” Celestia wished out loud before turning to repair the window and dry the tea spilled on the floor. She was going to need something stronger if she hoped to make peace with herself for the thoughts of vengeance she held in her heart.

---------------------------------------------------

“I just had to forget Canterlot was a tiered city, of all the things from the show to forget this was the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” I cursed as I weighed my options. I had been running for a solid hour at least, only to find out I had been herded right where the guards wanted me, completely surrounded atop the, admittedly, massive wall over looking the final tier of the city. So close, yet so far.

They had me dead to rights. To my rear was a wall of shields and a forest of spears, the same as the front. To my left was an entire squadron of pegasii armed with crossbows, all aimed at my head. To the right over the edge it wasn't much better with even more crossbow armed pegasii and whole lot more guards waiting for me down below. I couldn't see any unicorns in the crowd but that didn't mean they weren't waiting to make their move. In a word, I was Screwed with a capital “S,” I had underestimated this generation of guards based off what I had seen of their counterparts all that time ago and now they stood poised to bring me down with sheer weight of numbers, something even my healing abilities couldn't stop, at least not for long.

“So why aren't they attacking?” I asked myself out loud.

“Because I haven't told them to,” came a gruff voice from behind the shield wall in front of me, it parted slightly to allow a small group of five ponies to step through their ranks. They didn't look like normal guards, their armor was a patch work of black steel and cloth instead of the usual gleaming gold I had seen on all the others. The one I assumed had spoke was a large earth pony covered in full blackened plate with a massive war hammer strapped to his back, the only features that I could make out were his head and mane, a light blue coat with a black, box top mane style, the Sin Sense told me his name was Hammerstrike,”they know better than to act without my orders.”

To his left stood a pair of young unicorns, barely out of their teens, both dressed in black leather. One was white with a bright pink mane, the other was dark pink with a gray mane and they both had a number of wicked looking knives and daggers strapped about their bodies. My Sin Sense told me their names were Quick Strike and Backstab respectively. I figured it would be a good idea to keep my eye on these two, I had a feeling those horns were only there for show.

To Hammerstike's right was a bright green pegasus dressed with a bare minimum of armor and the rest of him exposed. He went by the name Divebomb and his wing blades didn't look like they were for show.

Further behind him I spotted a pony I didn't expect to see here. She was very hard to miss even with having traded in her trade mark pointy cap and cloak for a simple cloak of solid black and unlike the others she carried herself like a high class noble, though I knew it was all an act. With the light blue coat, silver mane, and magic wand cutie mark I didn't didn't need the Sense to tell me who she was. Trixie Lulamoon rounded out this little group in all her (not) very humbled self importance and much like all the others I got the distinct impression she was bad news for me.

“Yo, Trixie, what's shakin' bacon,” I shot at her, only for her to give me a look that one reserves for foul odors and those who kick puppies.

“I see you know our more... famous member,” responded Hammerstrike to chuckles from his other associates.

“Sure do Hammerstrike, you could say knowing pony's names is my special talent,” I goaded hoping they would make a mistake that I could exploit.

“Humor won't help you freak,” he shot back as cool as ice.

“So what, are you and your merry band of Celestia's pet warriors trained solely for the purpose of taking me down?”

“Don't flatter yourself, we are her Majesty's Demon Hunters and our job is to take down all of your ilk. And, we are very good at our job, I guess you could say it's our special talent. Now be a good demon and lay down and die quietly,” he stated and unlimbered his hammer readying it to strike and the siblings disappeared. Well, there goes my plan, time for plan B. I'll tell you now, when you're flying by the seat of your pants, nothing sounds more official than a plan B.

I jerked the throttle down hard and sent my bike hurtling straight for Hammerstrike. He didn't move, not at first, until I was about to run him down, then in one fluid motion he side stepped and brought the hammer down onto my left shoulder dislocating the joint and smashing my collar bone. The pain was near blinding, but I kept the bike moving and heading straight for the shield wall behind him. It goes to show that when death is on the line, anypony will break and as I rapidly closed the distance the front lines began to fall back. Then, what I hoped would happen happened, a guard went down with his shield on top of him and I fed the engine more power as I used it to launch myself through the air at the side of Mount Canterlot.

“Don't worry I got 'im!” I heard somepony shout behind me as I sped up the face of the mountain with a trail of fire and the needle on the speedometer knocking on 120. Looking to the left I where I heard the rapid beating of wings I saw Divebomb keeping perfect time with me.

“Fall back Red this isn't your fight!” he yelled at somepony on my right. Turning, it was that red pegasus from earlier, Storm Kicker, and she didn't look too happy to see me. To say I was more than a bit surprised to see her would be the understatement of the year.

The snow white cap was quickly approaching and in a burst of flash melted snow and steam, I flew over the top and out into the open air. With a quick pop my shoulder was back in place as I grabbed the chain from around my body and sent the weighted end to embed itself into the rock. Following a quick tug on the length of chain the wheels came back into contact with the Mt. Canterlot as I sped towards the bottom even faster with gravities help.

“I said fall back!” Divebomb, guess I hadn't lost my tail just yet. Looking him dead in the eye I finally saw a crack in his perfect facade, I wasn't sure how he did it but some how he was keeping information from my Sin Sense and even now I still couldn't make it out. All I knew was that he was part of something sinister and that I absolutely had to kill him now.

With a quick flick of my wrist the chain wrapped fully around his middle and with a mighty tug and twist of my body I brought him over myself and into a collision course with Storm Kicker. Before he could connect I charged the metal with hellfire and he burned away leaving several pounds of ash to fall directly onto Storm Kicker. Blinded, sputtering, and out of control she slammed into an outcropping going at almost full speed. The impact caused me to wince in sympathy, it wouldn't kill her but she would definitely fell it in the morning.

In the last few feet I kicked the bike out from the wall and let gravity take over before slamming into the ground. A quick look around told me it was clear and I brought the bike around to head around the mountain and towards the south.

A few minutes later I spotted a grove of trees off the side of the road that had a good view back towards Canterlot and decided to pull over for a break. I dropped the kick stand, killed the engine, and walked over to the largest tree to get a comfortable place to lean as the horizon turned orange to the west. Leaning back against my chosen tree, I pulled my bottle of apple cider out of my coat pocket and downed it in a few gulps; you have no idea how good it felt going down after all this time. I started scanning the cityscape as I relaxed there, it didn't take more than a few minutes for my eyes to spot what I was looking for, a white blob on the tallest tower of Canterlot Castle. Deciding to push my luck I stuck the bottle back into my pocket, no point in littering, and flipped the white spot the bird. Just like that it vanished and I heard hoofsteps coming up behind me.

“It smells like hypocrisy out here,” I joked turning, “Oh, hi Celestia. How's the leg?”

“Fine, if you must know, though it still pops when I wake up in the morning. Now, what do want Rider,” she said giving me her best death glare, oh the memories.

“Come on Tia, it has been so long since I've seen you. I mean, what's a broken leg between friends?”

“It's more than my leg you fool! I should destroy you where you stand for your insults and your deceit,” she spat back as the colors in her mane started to change to a bright shade of orange.

“You'd like that wouldn't you, but we both know how this'll play out. I can't kill you, the world's greatest sinner, because it would destroy the balance of this world; and you won't kill me because you lack the testicular fortitude to do it yourself. And if you think for a minute your little Hunter squad is gonna do shit to me, you've got another coming, I've already taken care of one of them, the rest are just a work in progress!” I raged stepping close and getting in her face so she could smell the brim... wow, I guess even gods need a bit of liquid courage every now and then.

“Why are you so angry, I don't remember you ever getting this much enjoyment out of killing before,” she said confused as she stepped away from me.

“Why... WHY?!? You took the only friend I ever made in this candy coated nightmare away from me and you left me locked in that painting, powerless, while it happened! So yeah, I'm more than a little pissed,” I said regaining my composure and walking back to my bike, “This conversation is over.”

“Rider wait, who is this friend?” I heard her ask.

“Your sister, Luna, the one you had murdered,” I answered as I started the bike.

“But how... she-”

“All this time and you never realized that I could always feel the presence of you two and that moron, Discord,” I cut her off before she had a chance to lie, “I felt it when she went, so now I'm making it my personal mission to find the pony you used to do the deed and I'm gonna bleed them slow. Then, I'm gonna come back here and pull your head off with my bare hands, balance of the world be damned. So send who you want after me, you'll just be delaying the inevitable and getting a bunch of good ponies killed process, because today was your only freebie and your only warning.”

She tried to tell me something but it was lost in the roar of the engine as I headed south towards Ponyville. My presence in this world had changed the course of events as they should have been, but at least I had a good idea of who I should “talk” to first.

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The Caves Below Canterlot

A cloaked figure mounts a stage before a sea of similarly cloaked figures and takes a deep breath.

“Brothers, sisters, and other exalted beings I have great news! The Rider has been set free and the plans that we have labored on for the last six years can finally be put into motion!” the cloaked pony spoke and was followed by the sound of cheers from the crowd. The figure waited a moment then motioned for the crowd to be silent.

“Make yourselves ready for the summoning of the Great Beasts of the End Times, for with their help we shall finally take our place as the rightful rulers of this world!”

“But what of our brothers who fell today,” questioned a well timed voice from the crowd.

“Yes, the sacrifices made by brothers Squeaky Clean and Divebomb are tragic but necessary if our work is to continue unmolested by those who would cast down out great works! But fear not, for they have earned their place of honor in our new world! Now make ready the offerings and ready yourselves for soon we shall rise and those petty tyrants of the sun and moon shall fall!” it proclaimed as the crowd worked itself into a frenzy of cheers and activity.

“Everything is going according to plan,” thought the obvious leader as he left the stage.

“Lord Darkhoof, I need to speak with you,” it was the voice from earlier.

“What is it, Brother Inkwell?”

“Sire, some of our members inside the guard have reported that they have found the sisters of three of the Element Bearers.”

“Interesting, the Great Beasts will need vessels if they are to truly be under our control and the irony alone will be well worth the effort,” Lord Darkhoof mused, “Tell me, where are they now?”

“They were evacuated to the train station and sent back to Ponyville during the chaos caused by the Rider, Sire.”

“Ponyville you say. Remind me, who do we have in that area?”

“The Peach Family, Sire.”

“Good, send word to them immediately that they are to capture, alive and unharmed, these three fillies and bring them to the ritual site at Weathertop.”

“Sire, far be it from me to question your decisions, but is it wise to send a family of zombified, pain-worshiping, backwoods idiots to do this job when there are so many more, and most importantly, safer options to use?”

“This is why I made you my number two Brother Inkwell, you don't mince words, but I have my reasons. The first is that they will get the job done no matter what. The second is because they're our zombified, pain-worshiping, backwoods idiots. Now, get that message sent, we don't have time to waste,” responded Lord Darkhoof as he trotted away, deeper into the caves that served as The Orders base of operations.

Author's Notes:

Here's chapter 3 to help get you through your Monday, I hope you enjoy. Also, this is why you don't ask for longer chapters, this thing took a little over 7 pages to write according to Open Office.

Special thanks for the 473 Likes and 646 favorites, keep this up and I just might thinking you actually like me.

EDIT: Pardon my dust folks, just had to make some corrects that yaw pointed out in the comments.