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Me, Myself and O'Malley

by Bluecatcinema

Chapter 4: O'Malley's Last Stand

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After O'Malley made his escape, the seven brothers and Blueblood came around.

"What happened?" Murray groaned.

"O'Malley happened." Grimoire snarled.

"He grabbed Daring and ran." Dusty declared, still pinned to the wall.

"I'll get you down, my love." Blueblood said, cancelling out O'Malley's magic.

"How are we going to find them?" Slot asked.

"Simple." Grimoire smiled. "We all know O'Malley. He likes places that are high up."

"Yeah, so he can look down on everypony." Salt sneered.

"And where's the nearest high place around here?" Grimoire prompted.

"The Canterlot clock tower!" Lars yelled.

"Exactly." Grimoire nodded. "Blueblood, you and Dusty alert the guards. We'll go after O'Malley."

"Okay." Blueblood agreed. "Good luck."

The brothers charged out of the room and out of the castle, as they made their way to the clock tower.

As they neared the foot of the tower, Vinny turned to Grimm.

"Bro, are you sure that O'Malley would've come here?" Vinny asked.

"Of course." Grimoire nodded. "Not only am I sure, I know he went here...

"How can you be certain?" Vinny asked.

Grimm points to the door, and it had a Caboose-shaped hole.

"Educated guess." Grimoire smiled.

O'Malley was waiting in the clock tower, pacing erratically. Daring was bound to the railing, as they were merely a couple of floors above ground level, glaring at O'Malley.

"Okay... okay, O'Malley, you can figure this out... those royal idiots may have the town on high alert, but you had been dealt badder hooves before..." O'Malley muttered to himself.

"You won't get away with this." Daring snarled. "There are guards everywhere looking for you... and Grimm and the others will surely find you before they do..."

"When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." O'Malley glared at her. "Do you honestly think I'm afraid of anypony? Do you not realize who I really am? I am O'Malley, the perfection to all of Caboose's flaws, the stallion that Caboose could never be!"

"Why must you do this?" Daring asked. "What did Caboose ever do to you to deserve... all of this?"

O'Malley gave her a sinister smile.

"Oh, my dear Daring... it's nothing against the poor chap..." He paused. "Okay, maybe it is a little... but try seeing things from my perspective. I'd been buried that idiot for so long, gifted with intelligence and skills that Caboose only possesses a fraction of. I finally got the chance to come out, but kept getting pushed back down. Every time he needed help, it was me who did the hard work, me who pulled him out of the fire. Well, those days are officially over!"

"No... no, it's not... Caboose will stop you!" Daring declared.

"Caboose?" O'Malley snorted. "Oh, dear Daring, in case you hadn't been paying attention to the last chapter, Caboose is probably somewhere in the back of my mind, sniveling like the little foal he is."

"You don't know Caboose like I do." Daring shot back. "He created you, and he can destroy you!"

"I don't know him?! I am him!" O'Malley roared. "He and I share everything! The same body, the same activities, the same interests..." He glanced wickedly at Daring. "...the same mare."

Daring stifled a gulp, trying to stay brave.

"What are you going to do with me?" She asked.

"Don't you worry, Daring...fortunately for Caboose, you were the only thing that he did right." O'Malley smirked. "Of course, he had my help, but those are just details... but my plan for you is simple... once I find us a way out of here, you and I are going to run off into the sunset together, start a brand new life..."

"What makes you think I want anything to do with you?!" Daring snarled.

"Easy. You bend to my will, or I will simply kill myself..." O'Malley glared darkly. "Taking Caboose with me in the process."

"You would do that to yourself?" Daring gaped. "You hate Caboose so much... that you would do anything to take everything from him?"

"It's a dual personality thing, dear... I can't expect you to understand." O'Malley shrugged.

"You're crazy!" Daring yelled.

"Oh no." O'Malley laughed. "Spiteful, vindictive, have a bit of anger issues, but never crazy." He grinned darkly. "But if you want crazy..."

He approached Daring menacingly.

"STOP!"

O'Malley and Daring glanced behind them, and the seven brothers were panting like crazy, as they went up a bunch of stairs, crawling on their knees.

"Hold it... right there..." Grimoire held up a hoof, panting like crazy.

"Geez, why couldn't you... pick a place that had only one floor..." Murray wheezed.

O'Malley gave them an evil grin.

"Well, well, well, maybe Caboose's idolization of you idiots weren't so crazy after all." He noted.

"Stop this, O'Malley!" Grimoire stood up. "Let our brother and his girl go! You know full well that body is not yours!"

"But Grimm... wouldn't you rather have me for your brother?" O'Malley feigned being hurt. "I mean... unlike Caboose, I can actually serve the Bitalian Mafia... I mean, I have smarts, I have brawn... and I'm especially not a wimp that your other brothers could push around... in other words, I am ten times the brother Caboose could never be."

"No... you're not." Grimoire growled. "You're nothing compared to Caboose."

"Oh, and what exactly does Caboose have that I so apparently lack?" O'Malley growled.

"You don't get it..." Grimoire sighed. "Caboose is not a pony that you can simply replace... you're so blinded by your own self-image that you don't see what Caboose is to us..."

"Really?" O'Malley snorted. "And what exactly is the little idiot to you fools anyways?"

"Well, for starters, he's the glue that keeps the ship afloat, even though he pokes holes in it most of time..." Murray stepped forward.

"He's the spark who keeps the fire burning, even when the fire burns a little too hot." Sonny smiled.

"He's the punching bag that can take all your punches and can still be hanging." Salt added.

"He's the mystery that keeps you guessing, even though it may frustrate you to no ends." Lars declared.

"He's the little runt that keeps coming back... even when you don't want him around..." Vinny said whimsically.

And as annoying, idiotic, and sometimes crazy, as he may be..." Slot sighed. "He's still our little brother..."

"And you, O'Malley, don't deserve to share the same body as him!" Grimoire yelled. "Now, I am going to ask you one more time... Let. Our. Brother. Go!"

O'Malley remained silent, as he grew angry.

"Caboose this... Caboose that..." His eye twitched. "Don't you idiots get it?! Caboose is gone! He no longer exists! I, O'Malley Napoleon, am here to stay! And if you won't accept that... then I have no choice but to be rid of you all!"

"Don't make us do this, O'Malley!" Murray declared. "If you won't give Caboose back his body, then we'll make you give it back!"

"Oh really?" O'Malley sniggered. "You're going to make me give control back to that idiot? I don't think so..."

"Don't be stupid, O'Malley..." Vinny warned him.

The seven brothers began surrounding him. While O'Malley was occupied, Daring began trying to budge her bounds.

"You guys really threw away what could had been a wonderful relationship..." O'Malley tutted.

"Sorry, pal... but we'd rather have Caboose than some self-righteous psychopath, hooves down!" Salt cracked his hooves.

"You actually think all of you can hold a candle to me?" O'Malley growled. "You ponies have no idea who you're dealing with..."

"Maybe not." Grimoire nodded. "But for Caboose... we're willing to take the risk."

"Well, then, let's see if the risk-vs-reward system holds out..." O'Malley grinned darkly.

The seven brothers surrounded O'Malley, as the fight began. Grimoire made the first move.

"Give up, O'Malley!" He growled, lashing out with a hoof.

"And then what?" O'Malley asked, parrying the blow. "Go back to being buried in that idiot's head? Or worse, vanishing altogether? No way!"

"Oh, yes way! Murray, now!" Grimoire yelled, leaping to the side.

Murray quickly pulled out a crossbow, loaded with a tranquilizer bolt, and tried firing at O'Malley, who was facing Grimm. O'Malley quickly turned around and... caught it. Murray gulped.

"Oh, you sneaky little tart." O'Malley taunted.

In a flash, O'Malley charged at Murray. Murray attempted to shoot him again, but O'Malley punched the bow out of his hooves, and followed up with a right hook to the face.

"Augh..." Murray reared back, when suddenly, O'Malley stabbed him in the flank with the bolt. "GAH!" He fell unconscious due to the tranquilizer.

"Murray!" Grimoire cried.

Quickly, Sonny pulled out a club, and using his magic, lit it on fire.

"Caboose hates fires, so it stands to reason that O'Malley would, too!" He hypothesized.

He charged at O'Malley, swinging his torch around to ward O'Malley off... but O'Malley then caught the torch, and, licking his hoof, he put it out.

"Okay, maybe not..." Sonny gulped.

O'Malley gave a sick smile as he then blasted Sonny against a wall with his magic, knocking him out.

"Sonny!" Grimoire gasped.

"Why you..." Salt charged at O'Malley, throwing punches at him. He hit O'Malley couple of times, knocking his head left and right…but even then, O'Malley turned his face back to face Salt with an evil smile.

"Is that supposed to hurt?!" O'Malley smirked.

Salt stifled a curse as he continued punching him, but O'Malley then caught one of his hooves. O'Malley grinned as he then countered with his own hoof, slugging Salt in the face (breaking his snout), and proceeded to punch him constantly all around. Soon, he knocked him to the ground, out for the count.

"That's it..." Lars growled as he pulled out a crop, and tried attacking O'Malley as well, but O'Malley simply grabbed his head with his magic and hit it against the railing. As Lars struggled to get up, O'Malley pinched his neck with his hoof, rendering him unconscious.

Vinny roared as he charged at O'Malley as well, but O'Malley punched him in the face.

"Ow, my face!" He groaned. O'Malley then hit him in the groin. "Ow, my groin!"

O'Malley punched him constantly in the face and groin, eliciting the same responses, before finally knocking him out.

"You know, I was actually expecting a challenge, but right now, I am feeling really underwhelmed." O'Malley admitted.

"Oh yeah?" Slot pulled out a knife. "Well, you're no prize yourself!"

"Knives?!" O'Malley held up his hooves in mock terror. "Oh, you found my only weakness..."

"Enough with your games, O'Malley!" Slot declared. "You are going down!"

"Come now, Manslaughter... why so serious?" O'Malley taunted.

"I swear, if he makes one more reference..." Slot mumbled.

"Should I 'say hello' to your little friend?" O'Malley asked.

Slot let out a roar as he charged at O'Malley. O'Malley simply caught Slot's knife hoof, broke it, and gave him a vicious uppercut. Grimm stifled a curse, as it was now only him and O'Malley.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me, old-timer." O'Malley approached him.

Grimoire charged up his horn, ready to fire magic.

"Stay back, O'Malley!" He yelled.

"Or what?" O'Malley smirked. "You're gonna shoot me?!"

"I have to stop you, O'Malley." Grimoire declared. "By any means necessary..."

"Oh, like you would shoot your own brother... come on, Grim, we both know you don't have the ca-honeys to shoot me!" O'Malley taunted.

"Don't test me, O'Malley!" Grimoire snarled.

"But Grimm..." O'Malley turned his voice to Caboose for a moment. "You wouldn't hurt your little brother, would you, bro?"

The voice struck a chord in Grimm's heart, as the old pony felt his heart ache. His horn flickered as he lost his charge... then O'Malley blasted him hard with magic.

"Just what I thought." O'Malley pinned Grimoire. "Just like Caboose... weak-minded and weak-willed."

Grimm coughed as he looked up at O'Malley.

"Please... don't do this... Caboose... please..." He wheezed.

"Sorry, old man, but Caboose is gone... and so are you..." O'Malley raised his hoof.

Suddenly, a plank of wood was smashed on his head. O'Malley didn't flinch, as he then glared at the perpetrator, Daring.

"Oh ho... to quote Ben, who had since drowned and haunted a video game, 'you shouldn't had done that'." O'Malley growled viscously.

"Daring, run!" Grimoire yelled.

"Quiet, you!" O'Malley kicked Grimm, knocking him out. He turned and found Daring running up the tower. "Oi, why must women be so beautiful, yet so freaking annoying..."

O'Malley chased Daring up the stairs, taking the knife that was in Slot's hoof.

"You can run all you want, babe, but I will not be denied!" O'Malley roared.

For a brief glimmering moment, it looked like Daring had escaped. But somehow, O'Malley caught up to her, grabbing Daring's back hoof.

"GOT YA!" He snarled.

"No you don't!" Daring bucked O'Malley in the chin, knocking him down the flight of stairs. She cringed. "Sorry, Caboose..."

Daring kept going, making it to the top of the tower, where the tower's bell resided. Daring saw an open window in front of her. Seeing a way out, she spread her wings, about to get off the ground, when suddenly, a thrown knife cut one of her wings, causing her to trip. Daring growled in pain as she look at her cut wing, and then back at the stairs, where an angry O'Malley, with a bruised chin and forehead, glared at her.

"Y'know, there's a point where you playing 'hard to get' gets really old!" He spat.

"Stay away from me, O'Malley!" Daring grabbed the knife. "You hear me?!"

"Or what, sweetheart? You'll stab me?" O'Malley sneered. "I just been through this with the old timer downstairs: you won't hurt me, lest you want to hurt Caboose."

Daring growled in frustration, knowing he was right.

"Let's stop messing around, Daring." O'Malley smiled. "If you come with me now, I'll forget that you smashed me over the head with a spear and a plank of wood, and possibly broke my chin, and we can run away into the sunset together. Just you and me..."

"Why should I?" Daring snarled. "You hurt everypony around you! Even Caboose's brothers!"

"Brothers?!" O'Malley snorted. "Before I came along, Caboose was their throw rug! They did nothing but shun and abuse him, like a gosh darn punching bag! That's all Caboose was to anypony! It was thanks to me that Caboose made it as far as he did! It's also because of me that you even started dating him!"

"That's a lie!" Daring retorted.

"Is it, Daring?!" O'Malley asked. "Who was it that saved your life when Dr. Caballeron was about to kill you with that knife?! Couldn't have been Caboose, because if I remember right, it was me that said 'This is for my hoof tip!'."

"That... that proves nothing!" Daring said, unsure.

"Look, babe... you can deny it all you want, but it was me that you fell in love with, not Caboose..." O'Malley was now close to Daring, face to face with her. "Why settle for a pathetic pushover like Caboose when you could have somepony who can really take care of you..."

Daring glanced warily at O'Malley when suddenly, O'Malley forced his mouth onto Daring's, kissing her.

'This part sickened me. I can't describe what it feels like to kiss a pony when you aren't in control of your own body. For a moment, I had really thought Daring had really picked O'Malley over me...'

While her mouth was caught in the kiss, Daring let out a inner growl as she then jabbed the knife into his shoulder, and pushed him back, holding onto the knife.

"GAH!" O'Malley roared out loud as he gripped his shoulder.

Daring spat, and wiped her mouth.

"Get this through your bloody skull!" She glared at O'Malley viciously. "It's Caboose I love, not you! You're just some small-minded, evil thug, and I wouldn't take you on your best day over Caboose on ten of his worst!"

O'Malley felt his eye twitch, as he let out an angry roar.

"If that's how you feel... fine, if you won't love me, then I will OWN YOU!" He snarled.

O'Malley shot the knife out of Daring's hoof with his magic, and charged right at her, slugging her hard in the face with his hoof, sending her flying into the window, shattering it. Daring crumbles to the ground in pain, wiping the blood off her mouth, tears coming to her eyes.

'That was it. The last straw. O'Malley had hurt the mare I love with 'my' own hooves. I was so outraged, all the anger I'd kept inside for so long just erupted all at once in my mind.'

O'Malley approached the hurt Daring menacingly.

"Yeah, cry all you want, you stupid mare... but no one is going to save you from m-" As O'Malley gloated, his left front hoof lifted up and in front of him. "Huh? What the..."

The hoof suddenly punched him in the face. O'Malley backpedaled. Daring looked up in shock, not sure what had just happened.

"Guh-what is going on her-GRR!" O'Malley's head shook violently, as suddenly, Caboose took control.

"Hoi! That feels good." Caboose smiled.

"Caboose!" Daring's face lit up in relief.

Suddenly, O'Malley took back control again, flabbergasted.

"What?! What the bloody hay are you still doing here?!" He growled.

"You hurt the mare I loved, O'Malley!" Caboose shot back.

"She asked for it! No one stabs O'Malley James Napoleon!" O'Malley retorted.

"Well, you just crossed the line, O'Malley! In fact, you crossed it so many times, the people at border control are getting concerned."

"Oh, what are you going to do about it, Caboose?! I'm the one in control now! So get back in your corner and stay there!"

"NO! I am not going to be your stepping stool anymore, O'Malley! In the name of the Napoleon family name, as well as the guy writing these lines, I am becoming my OWN stallion!"

"Very touching speech, buckface, but how do you intend to stop me?"

"The only way I know how!" Caboose slammed his hooves into his own guts, prompting O'Malley to keel over in pain.

"OW!" O'Malley groaned. "What are you doing?! You're only hurting yourself!"

"I'm going to stop you, O'Malley... even if I have to break every bone in my body to do it!" Caboose declared.

"Caboose!" Daring called.

"Daring, get out of here!" Caboose instructed. "I'll take care of O'Malley!"

Daring slowly got up, but was then pinned down by magic.

"You aren't going anywhere, toots!" O'Malley spat. "I'll deal with you after I put Caboose in his place!"

"Bring it!" Caboose yelled.

What followed was one of the most bizarre fights in history, as the two minds made the body strike itself over again. Every time Caboose swung a punch, O'Malley administered a kick, and vice-versa. They matched each other blow-for-blow.

"Take that!" Caboose struck his nose.

"Is that all you got?!" O'Malley kicked his own leg.

"How 'bout this?" Caboose put himself in a headlock and administered a noogie.

"Aaah!" O'Malley yelped. "I hate those! Try this!"

O'Malley struck the groin.

"Ooh!" Caboose gulped. "That's it..."

Caboose dragged the body to the bell, slipping under it, where he started beating his head constantly inside the bell, causing it to ring so many times.

"Stop it, ya idiot!" O'Malley yelled.

"Not a chance!" Caboose smiled.

"You think you can just toss me aside, Caboose?!" O'Malley roared between head bangs. "I'm a part of you, pal! I always have been!"

O'Malley bit down hard on his foreleg.

"Well, consider this your pink slip!" Caboose growled as he tries charging up a magical blast. Unfortunately, he hit his head a little too hard in the bell, causing him to prematurely release the charge, and for it to ricochet all around the bell, scratching the pony up in the process.

"You are a fool, Caboose! You need me! You always will!" O'Malley cried.

"NO!" Caboose screamed, as he banged his head really hard against the bell, "NOT!" Again. "ANY-!" And again "MORE!"

The bell let out one last loud ring. Daring looked on in confusion, as suddenly, the bell cracked in two and split open. Caboose was revealed, a bit beaten up, and woozy as ever. Daring was unsure whether it was Caboose or O'Malley... but then Caboose glanced at Daring... and gives a smile that only Caboose would give. Daring smiled in relief, as Caboose limps towards her.

'It seems like that was the end of it. The bad guy was defeated, the hero had triumphed, and he was about to go off with his mare of his dreams... but then, out of freaking nowhere...'

Suddenly, Caboose shifted to O'Malley, letting out a vicious growl.

"If I can't have this body, then nopony can!" He roared.

Quickly, O'Malley reached for the knife that was still on the ground and was about to stab himself, but Caboose quickly moved his body to avoid the blade.

"O'Malley! Stop! This!" Caboose said with each dodge of the knife.

"No! There can only be one of us, Caboose, and I!" He punched himself. "Will!" Another punch. "BE!" Another punch put them in front of a window. "THE ONE!" O'Malley punched them extra hard, knocking them out of the window.

"CABOOSE, NO!" Daring shrieked.

Caboose and O'Malley began falling to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOO!" O'Malley yelled.

'So, here we are, back where the story started. For my life to end like this, in such a cruel way... It sucks, right? Except... it didn't end after all!'

Meanwhile, on the ground, there were two guards, looking for Caboose. One heard the screaming.

"Do you hear something?" One asked.

"Nope." The other answered.

Another guard came rushing in.

"Hey, I just got back from the doctor! I'm going to live!" He smiled.

Caboose landed on the third guard, injuring him.

"Or not..." The guard groaned.

Daring, unable to fly with her injured wing, hurried down the stairs as fast as she could. She kneeled at Caboose's broken body, a rhythmic wheeze emanating from it. Coming up right behind her, limping, was Grimm, who had just woken up from his slumber.

"No… heavens no…" Grimm whispered.

"Caboose, no..." She sniffed. "Don't leave me, please..."

Next Chapter: Me, Myself and Caboose Estimated time remaining: 12 Minutes
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