The sounds of windows shattering echoed throughout the night sky.

"CABOOSE, NO!"

Glass began to fall upon the pavement below, and along with it, the flailing form of a brown-coated pony, as he glanced up from where he fell from with complete horror.

Caboose wanted to scream, and he would have... had not somepony else beat him to it.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" The gruff voice of his alternate self, O'Malley, screamed, as the dual-minded pony approached the ground within seconds.

Before either of them could say more, the world went black...

'This... is the story of my untimely demise... but don't worry, this is still a fun story. And quite a long one at that. Where do I begin? First off, this story takes place about five years before 'Growing Pains', so sorry, there will be no Hurricane, Luxury, or Blue Blazes... I think Sleight's story takes place around the same time, but this is not his story... this is mine.'

'My name is Caboose James Napoleon... but most ponies calls me Caboose. I was born in the heart of Bitaly to my pops, Clyde Napoleon, and my maw, Bonnie Napoleon. I have seven older brothers, Grimiore, Murder, Arson, Assault, Larceny, Vandal, and Manslaughter... but since their names tend to scare other ponies, we just call them Grimm, Murray, Sonny, Salt, Lars, Vinny, and Slot. At first glance, us eight may seem like your typical ponies that dress alike and happens to be named after a spell book and a couple of criminal offenses... plus the tail of a train... but the truth is... we are the leaders of the Bitalian mafia.'

'For years, our family had run the mafia, doing all sorts of mafia-like stuff, I would go into detail, but that would be rather pointless…and I would have 'top stallions' check you out, but I digress. It wasn't a horrible life... the pay was good and we all got excellent coverage on insurance, and everypony in Bitaly respected the grounds you trot about. To say the least, it was a pretty good life. But all of that changed for me...'

'It started when my niece, Dusty Donut Speck, the daughter of my oldest brother, Grimm, had moved away to Canterlot, not sharing the love we had for our jobs (and I honestly don't blame her, Slot threatened to neuter any boy that she brought home) and apparently began dating Blueblood... the nephew of Princess Celestia herself. Pretty stand-up guy, though he has this cleanliness thing going on. After nearly getting turned into a rock garden by a cockatrice, we had all learned to accept him into our little family within 'the family'.'

'However, soon after they left, Grimm gathered us together. He wanted one of us to go to Canterlot under the alias of a royal guard transfer from Saddle Arabia, after serving his country... doing anti-terrorist stuff. That what led us to a straw picking game: the one who pulled the longest goes. And naturally, I was the one who pulled it... although I had a feeling that my brothers cheated and cut theirs shorter. And so... Caboose James Napoleon, the royal guard and personal bodyguard of Prince Blueblood was born.'

'It was a whole new chapter in my life, and what a chapter it was! Who can say that they met the entire royal family personally and say 'Halt, who goes there?!' Though my position as royal guard was supposedly a cover... it somehow evolved into an actual life for me. I had everything: a honest job, my niece only a few rooms away, a warm 'bed and breakfast'... I was like that bald pony before he was diagnosed with cancer and decided to turn to drugs as a way to secure his family's financial status.'

'But it only got better. My niece got married to Blueblood, they had two adorable colts (which I got to 'middle name'), and little over a year later, I got dragged along on this adventure by Blueblood's uncles and husbands of the princesses, Shine and Gothic-why am I telling you that part? Haven't you guys read 'Seeking Eternity'?... Skipping to the end, I finally had something I never could get before... a marefriend... Daring Do.'

'Hard to believe, right? And everypony wanted me to get with Pinkie Pie just 'cause I know you guys are there... but yeah, I was now living the dream... and it seemed like nothing would ruin it... oh, how I was wrong...'

'I had made a lot of enemies in my lifetime. About 80% of them were made by me accidentally severely injuring and occasionally killing them or their loved ones, 10% because my brothers did it to them on purpose, 9% because someponies won't let stuff go like that pretty ice-powered princess... but there was the 1% that I myself never saw coming... a pony that hated not only me... but my whole existence... and little did I know that he would not only try to destroy me... but take everything that I loved and cherished for his own...'

'Who was this diabolical mastermind, the madpony of demon's design, the guy that requires redundancy to sound more evil? Me... or rather...O'Malley.'

'But in order to tell you this tragic tale of woe, I would have to take us back to a time where everything was so simple... a time where I had a spring in my step and a smlie in my heart... a time that I would like to think of as...

'Three days earlier.'

'My nightmare began on a day like any other...'

It was a beautiful sunny late afternoon in the town of Canterlot, as the sun began to set towards the horizon...

'Okay, technically, it would be considered a 'daymare', but those are just minor details.'

All was peaceful up at the castle, as everypony were going about their daily routines.

Shine and Celestia were out in the garden, playing with their daughter Miracle, currently a two-year-old bundle of energy. Mist was in the study, doing bookwork, having been recently taken under Twilight's wing as a student. Luna and Gothic, as well as Constell, were off on a trip to Rainbow Falls (for real this time around), and Blueblood and Dusty were feeding Pureblood and Vito.

'Everypony in the royal family were going about their lives as normal. Even though Shine and Gothic were now immortal, things hadn't changed from before we went on the quest for the Golden Phoenix. Even I was doing my own thing: serving as one of Canterlot's greatest protectors, keeping a vigilant watch over the city of Canterlot, not even blinking once!'

A loud snore echoed throughout the castle, as perched on one of the castle walls was Caboose, deep within slumberland, as he leaned against the castle wall with his spear in hoof.

'I said, keeping a vigilant watch...'

Caboose continued snoring.

'Hello? Past me? Wake up!'

The brown pony continued to snore.

'I said, WAKE UP!'

A freak lightning bolt zapped in front of Caboose, immediately jolting him awake.

"Gah! What?!" Caboose jumped, holding up his spear in defense, assuming his position in a flash.

'As I was saying, I was keeping watch over Canterlot. It was late in the afternoon, and I was eagerly awaiting the end of my shift...'

"I was?" Caboose asked, looking up.

'Yes. Don't you remember what you were going to do tonight?'

"What, look at catalogs for a new cannon to call Shelia?"

'...The other thing.'

"Spend all night looking for that fluffy unicorn that's dancing on our rainbows?"

'...The other other thing.'

"Disprove evolution?"

'No! The thing involving a very special mare and a thing you ordered from the jewelers that is waiting in your room right now!'

"Oh!" Caboose smiled, "Now I remember. Thanks, creepy omniscient voice that sounds like me!"

Watching from afar were two other guards, who just saw Caboose talking to himself.

"He's doing it again." One guard groaned.

"Seriously, what's with him and talking up to the sky and to walls?" The other guard asked.

Suddenly, a loud whistling sound echoed, and one of the other guards called out.

"Okay, change shifts!"

Immediately, Caboose cheered: "YABBA-DABBA-DOO!"

Without a second thought, he quickly slide the banister of nearby stairs, and began trotting through the castle.

'At this point, I began to sing a little song...'

"Caboose, Mister Caboose, you're the luckiest pony in history." Caboose sang, as he passed by a few maids. "Looking good, ladies." The maids all gave smiles and nods to the happy guard

He continued singing. "From the town of Bitaly, he's making it big right here!"

He then passed by Iron Hooves, who was bemused by his joyful attitude.

"Lieutenant. What seems to have you in a good mood today?" Iron asked.

"Oh, just about everything." Caboose smirked, as he continued onwards, "Gonna run!"

Eventually, he was nearing his room, as well as the end of his song.

"Trotting down the great big hall, courtesy of my own four hooves. Caboose, you're the luckiest pony in history!"

He finished with a cheerful chirp as he walked into his room.

'Yeah, it was a great afternoon...but little did I know that it would be my last...'

Caboose opened a drawer in his bedside cabinet, and took out a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a diamond ring.

'I had saved up for months to buy that ring, getting in as much overtime pay as I could. I planned on proposing to Daring that very evening.'

"Oh Daring, my love." Caboose sighed. "Please say yes..."

'Unfortunately, somepony else had other ideas...'

"Oh, please." O'Malley jeered. "You're just wasting your time. A mare with that kind of flank is way out of your league. There's no way she would settle for a loser like you."

"Go away, O'Malley." Caboose growled. "This is an important night for me, and I'm not going to let you mess it up."

"We both know you're not good enough for her." O'Malley chuckled. "She's gonna say 'no', you just wait and see."

"I'm not listening to you." Caboose shot back. "It's me Daring loves, not you. Would she even be with me after all this time if she didn't love me? Of course not. No matter what you say, I know she loves me, and that's why I'm in charge."

'O'Malley clammed up after that. I thought I'd put him in his place. How wrong I was...

As the sun was becoming one with the horizon, Caboose had arrived at the doorstep of Daring's apartment, wearing his mafia family suit. After adjusting his tie one last time, he gave a couple of knocks on the door.

The door immediately opened up to reveal Daring Do, dressed up all nice. Her mane was done up in a ponytail with a golden hairpin and was wearing a sleeveless green dress.

'Yeah, that's right, that's my marefriend right there. I don't know how she does it, but she always finds a way to look more beautiful each time we see each other. What can I say? A mare as beautiful as her goes well with a stallion as handsome as yours truly.'

Caboose, upon seeing Daring, was now drooling from the tongue and his eyes were wide as saucers.

"Hey, Caboose…" Daring smiled, blissfully ignoring the stallion's face. "How do I look? Too much?"

The unicorn snapped out of his love struck daze in an instant. "No, no, no! Not at all! You look lovely as always."

"Oh, Caboose." Daring shook her head, "You always know how to charm a lady."

"That was just the warm-up." Caboose smirked, as he then pulled out a bouquet of white roses with his magic. "For you."

"Flowers?" The mare smiled. "Why thank you… but what's the occasion?"

"No occasion." Caboose shrugged off. "Just saw them and thought of you."

"Smooth." Daring laughed as she placed the roses on a table right next to the door, "Shall we be off?"

"Absolutely." Caboose smirked as he took Daring's hoof.

The couple left the apartment and took a stroll through Canterlot, as the sky turn to dusk.

"So, what plans do you have tonight?" Daring asked.

"Oh, the usual…the leisurely stroll through town and a lovely dinner at the local restaurant…" Caboose shrugged, before smiling, "But…I just might have a little surprise in store for you at the end…"

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Daring wondered.

"Can't say. It wouldn't be a surprise." Caboose smirked.

As the two passed by an old clock tower, the bell within began to chime, the clock striking seven o'clock.

"I can't believe that clock tower is still functional." Daring said in amazement, "It has to be at least a hundred years old."

"Well, clock towers are more resilient than one would think." Caboose mused, "I should know. I used to play in one back in Bitaly, and that one was over two hundred years old."

"Really? Why a clock tower?" Daring asked.

"I don't know. I didn't really have friends back then, and my brothers were always busy with their work, and the old Millers' place was already taken. That tower used to be my getaway from it all…" Caboose sighed.

"What happened?" Daring questioned.

"Some meanie named Bobby Barrows, or as ponies called him, 'The Scissorpony', bought the place and had it demolished." Caboose frowned, "He was a scary piece of work."

'Any relations of this Bobby Barrows to the psychological horror game villain of a mundane video game is completely coincidental, and may or may not be related…just thought I get it out there.'

"Oh, so sorry to hear that." Daring empathized.

"It's fine." Caboose shrugged, "Just seeing that clock tower reminds me of the good ol' days."

Eventually, Caboose and Daring had arrived at the restaurant, and had sat down and began their meal. Things were going smoothly as they enjoyed their food and chatting the night away.

"And that is how I saved Hearth's Warming Eve… and in the process, how Equestria was made." Caboose finished, as the two both laughed aloud.

"Oh-ho-ho, that is one of the things I love about you, Caboose… you do not make sense at times, but you can still be very funny." Daring laughed, wiping tears from her eyes.

"That's what makes me one of the kind, Daring." Caboose bragged.

"Indeed." Daring agreed, as she gave a warm smile, "I have to say, these past couple of months with you had been nothing but memorable… I really enjoyed spending them with you."

"Me too." Caboose nodded, "These past 146 dates I spend with you has been…as my cousin Barney would quote…'Legendary'…"

"146?" Daring gaped, "Has we dated that much in so little time?"

"Yup. I counted myself." Caboose smiled proudly, "From our first date here to that date back in Bitaly to that one in the elevator when the power went out…"

'It's true. I did count them… and it was a part of my brain well spent!'

"Wow…" Daring blushed, touched, "I'm surprised O'Malley let you memorize them all."

"Give me some credit, Dare," Caboose chuckled, "It's not like he runs my life."

"Of course not." Daring nodded, "You know, I found it hard to believe that I had almost let you go back when we were hunting for the Golden Phoenix…and now, I hope that we will continue to spend more time together."

Caboose gave a wide smirk, as he reached for his box. "Funny, you should say that…" He was moments away from getting onto his knees and pulling it out, "Because I-"

He was cut off when a waiter accidentally spilled a drink on Caboose's lap.

"GAH!" Caboose gasped.

"Oh dear, I am so sorry, sir!" The waiter apologized.

Caboose glanced at the waiter and was about to pardon him… however, something in his mind seem to had snapped, as suddenly, O'Malley seized control and his face contorted into rage.

"Why, you clumsy moron!" He attacked the waiter in a pure rage, striking him again and again.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" The waiter cried between blows. "Please, stop!"

"Stop it, O'Malley!" Daring yelled, trying to pull him off.

"Back off!" O'Malley pushed her away, then returned to assaulting the waiter.

"O'Malley, stop this!" Caboose briefly regained control, trying to hold back his hooves.

But O'Malley snatched it back. "Get lost!"

A couple of Pegasus Royal Guards, attracted by the commotion, entered the restaurant and tackled O'Malley, restraining him.

"Get your filthy hooves off me, ya flying feebs!" He struggled against them.

The guards dragged him out of the restaurant. Daring looked on in worry. O'Malley had never done anything like that before...

Not long after, O'Malley was tossed into a holding cell. By then, Caboose had taken back control.

"Oh, nice." He groaned. "O'Malley causes trouble, and I have to clean up the mess. Again..."

'There I was. My first night living in a jail cell... and for what? Not doing anything mafia-related... but rather assaulting accident-prone waiters. Me, Caboose, the royal guard, not 'Caboose, the mafia pony'. I was so embarrassed, humiliated, and my hooves hurt like-'

"Would you just shut up?!" Caboose yelled.

'Hey, I'm the one telling the story here of how you got us tossed into jail.'

"I'm already having a bad night, so I don't need future me to tell me how stupid I was!" Caboose growled.

How are you even talking to me? You're breaking the fourth wall right now!'

"I'm breaking it?!" Caboose snorted. "No, this is breaking the fourth wall: YO! Everybody that hates Flash Sentry and MLP season three... GO HOME!"

'You know what, let's just get on with the story.'

The next morning, Caboose was awakened by the sound of his cell door opening.

"Your bail's been paid for." The guard declared.

"By who?" Caboose asked.

"By me." Prince Blueblood stepped forward.

Caboose exited his cell, and collected the items he'd been carrying when he was brought in, which had been confiscated on arrival. He quickly pocketed the engagement ring as he and Blueblood left the jailhouse…

"Thanks, Blue." Caboose smiled. "I owe you one."

"Don't mention it." Blueblood nodded. "Though I am concerned by the circumstances. In all the time I've known you, I've never known O'Malley to be quite so... vicious. Is everything okay?"

"Oh, everything's fine." Caboose lied. "Perfectly fine. Just had a little lapse in temper control, that's all. So... have you heard from Daring?"

"She was a little disturbed by what had happened." Blueblood admitted. "She would have come with me, but she had an important meeting with the curator of the museum of supernatural history."

"Oh…" Caboose frowned, "Well, I guess I will have to patch things up with her later…" His frown turn to a glare. "But first, there's something I gotta take care of…"

Upon their return to the castle, Caboose went up to his room.

"What was that, O'Malley?!" He yelled at his reflection in the mirror that was in his room. "You ruined everything! My proposal, and possible wedded bliss with Daring, all because you couldn't take a little water! Why?!"

"I have zero tolerance for clumsiness, especially if they cause me grief." O'Malley defended.

"Well now, I probably can't show my face at that restaurant! I had a big drawn out extravaganza planned for this proposal! I had everything: mariachi bands, violinists, a choir…" Caboose snaps.

'We might want to skip past this part… I kinda drag on for a while…'

In flash-forward while sounds of tape being fast-forwarded echoed, Caboose continue to rant on and on, his voice in a high-pitched squeak while making several hoof gestures. It went on for about a minute (in fast-forward time), before it slowed down to normal speed.

"And all of it is now down the drain!" Caboose finished in anger.

O'Malley remained silent.

"Now, all I have left is this ring!" Caboose pulled up his ring, "What good is my proposal gonna be if that is all I have?! Not a good one!"

O'Malley did not respond.

"You know, O'Malley, ponies will find it weird seeing me talk to my reflection if you don't respond." Caboose growled in annoyance. "What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Finally, O'Malley responded, but with a cold expression.

"You know what, Caboose... I'm done... I'm done taking a backseat to you being an idiot to everypony, being a spineless coward, having everypony walk all over us, and I am especially sick of you embarrassing Daring with your pathetic existence." O'Malley announced.

"Wha-What are you saying?!" Caboose asked.

"It's pretty obvious, Caboose." O'Malley said menacingly. "I'm not going to twiddle my hooves anymore. From here on out, I am going to be running the show. No more being repressed by your foalish attitude."

"...Sorry, but I still don't get what you're saying." Caboose said, confused.

"I'm taking your body!" O'Malley roared.

"W-what?!" Caboose gasped. "You can't do that! That's not possible!"

"Au contraire, Caboose." O'Malley chuckled. "Not only am I going to take your body, but I'm going to make you disappear... for good."

"Oh yeah, how you plan to do that? I'm the one in charge here!" Caboose asked defiantly.

"Simple." O'Malley replied. "Just take a head to a mirror."

Caboose glanced oddly in confusion.

"Take a head to a-?"

*SMASH!!*