“…so, like some stupid, horny teenager, I reached across the table and put my hoof on hers,” Ditzy mumbled, head cradled in both front hooves. “She recoiled like she was bitten by a snake, and made it clear she just wants to be friends. So yeah, I feel really dense right about now.”

Ditzy sighed and banged her forehead on the picnic table. She’d done that many times over the years that her and her friends had eaten at that table in Ponyville Park, in the exact same seat, every work day. She’d practically memorized the feeling of the wooden grooves in her skull.

“Wow, struck out in only a day. That’s something I’d expect from you, Cloud Kicker,” Blossomforth said before taking a messy bite of her sandwich.

“What’re you talking about? The ponies love me,” Cloud Kicker said defensively.

Ditzy didn’t need to be looking at her to tell that Blossomforth rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Cloudy. Point is, yeah, way too direct way too soon, Ditzy.”

“You’re not helping,” Ditzy grumbled.

“Not sure there’s any helping that can be done,” Blossomforth said bluntly. “I think that bridge is smoldering at the bottom of the ravine.”

“Always a ray of sunshine, you are,” Ditzy said, glaring half-heartedly up at her.

Blossomforth shrugged with a smile. “I try my best.”

“Why so hung up on this one mare, anyway?” Cloud Kicker asked. “Plenty of other fish out there for bi gals like us, and you’ve said before how sick you are of sleeping alone.”

Ditzy sighed and pried her head off the table. “Maybe if I want a brief fling, Cloudy, but I don’t. You might be comfortable with your reputation, but I’m not with mine. The second I have an affair, everypony will feel justified in calling me an easy lay all these years.”

“And they’re going to anyway,” Cloudy said with a roll of her eyes. “You know how ponies are. They gab and gab and gab about you behind your back anyway. You just gotta learn to stop caring and do what you want.”

“Easy for you to say,” Ditzy mumbled. “You don’t have two foals to worry about. They already got enough grief from other ponies their age over my eyes; I don’t want them getting harassed over my sleeping habits.”

“Then go on vacation to Las Pegasus or something and go nuts, away from anypony that knows you,” Cloud Kicker said. “Trust me, a mare with a figure like yours would have no trouble getting a partner for the horizontal tango.”

“Smooth,” Blossomforth said flatly.

Ditzy blushed through a frown. “Again, I don’t want a brief fling, Cloudy. I want more personal, emotional intimacy. I don’t really mind sleeping alone. I want to stop waking up alone.”

“And that sort of desperation isn’t exactly attractive, Ditzy,” Blossomforth said. “You need to cool your jets a bit before moving onto another pony.”

“That’s the thing: I don’t want another pony. I want Fluttershy. She just seems so… so perfect,” Ditzy sighed.

“Oh really?” Cloud Kicker said, leaning in.

Blushing deeper, Ditzy nodded. “She’s attentive, she’s caring, she’s sensitive, she’s adorable, she’s insightful, she doesn’t have a judgmental bone in her body, and she’s got a nice set of cutie marks, if you catch my drift. I think the girls would really take to her if we started dating, and-”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Blossomforth cut in. “You’ve pretty much picked out the wedding cake, and you haven’t even known her a week yet. I get that you’ve been single for a long, long time, but this isn’t going to help your case with her.”

Ditzy opened her mouth to respond, but after a moment of consideration she let her indignation deflate with a sigh. “You’re right. What in the world am I thinking?”

“That you’re lonely and sexually frustrated and that she’s a fantastic piece of flank?” Cloud Kicker guessed.

Ditzy glared at her. “You’re not helping, either.”

“Let’s take a look at your options, here,” Blossomforth said, leaning on her elbows. “You can stay friends with her and just wait for a better time to make advances.”

“Which is dishonest and horrible,” Cloud Kicker interrupted.

“You can be straightforward and keep making advances,” Blossomforth continued.

“Which is honest, but I’m pretty sure borders on harassment,” Cloud Kicker butted in again.

“Or you can just give up on the whole thing and accept being her friend,” Blossomforth finished.

“The most honorable option, but also the most depressing,” Cloud Kicker finished as well.

Ditzy groaned and slammed her forehead on the table again. “I’m doomed no matter what I decide, aren’t I?”

“Pretty much,” Blossomforth said.

“Sounds like it,” Cloud Kicker agreed.

Ditzy held her head and rocked it back and forth. “What am I gonna do…?”

“My advice? Drop it and move on. Cloud Kicker was right; there are plenty of other fish in the sea and other such cliché,” Blossomforth said.

“Wow, I was right about something? I’ll have to mark today on my calendar,” Cloud Kicker said with a smirk.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Blossomforth said with an unimpressed stare.

Ditzy let out a heavy sigh, lifting her head once more. “Guess I’ll give up and just be straight with her. She deserves a friend, not a pony pushing their issues on her.”

Blossomforth nodded with a smile. “Very adult decision, Ditzy.”

“Speaking of adult decisions, guess who I hooked up with last night?” Cloud Kicker said with an impish grin.

“Here we go,” Blossomforth said with a roll of her eyes.

As her two best friends exchanged banter over Cloud Kicker’s latest sexual conquest, Ditzy quietly ate, only half-listening to them. Despite her best efforts to crush it underhoof, hope stirred in the back of her mind about a certain yellow pegasus. She kept it to herself, though…