It was a darling dance, the way her long, slender fingers looped around the page before her, a hypnotic sway of ink tangoing with the crisp crust of the paper. Rainbow Dash tilted her head in interest as she watched the girl's hand drag nearer and nearer to her. It was endearingly proper and surprisingly feminine handwriting, Rainbow noted, and slid straight across the ruled lines. Her rosy eyes shifted up the arm of the girl who sat right close beside her, gazing into her otherwise attentive emerald ones. Once or twice, as she wrote, she glanced up and the two met eye-lines, but each time, Applejack would return to her note-jotting just as readily.

Rainbow Dash's knees shifted under the desk, rubbing together once or twice to prevent from bobbing up and down, a habit that she had since she was a child. It was a tight squeeze under the desk, as Applejack's legs were under there too. Well, one was; the other was a foot or so away, her knees separated by the back of the chair she had swung around to sit in that odd backwards way that Applejack tended to sit. Rainbow found it terribly enticing, though she had said nothing about it, nor the way their knees met under the desk when she shifted just right.

Following her unspoken lead, Rainbow Dash looked back down at the page of homework that sat not-so-perfectly between them on her study desk. It was a good deal nearer to Rainbow than it was to her room-mate, but she was somehow pleased about that, as it forced the blonde to lean closer to scribble upon it. Applejack's own set of notes lay on her side of the desk, as the two shared the piece of furniture to study together. Rainbow could feel Applejack's breath clambering through the seams in her dress shirt as she hovered so near, and she could smell the fruity scent of her hair-wash clearly from such proximity.

Slouching over her desk slightly more, Rainbow permitted Applejack to write until the far margin, finishing writing out the previous definition as requested. She could feel the blonde's strong right hand resting on the top of her backrest, steadying herself as she peered over the back of her own chair and over Rainbow's left shoulder. Though it was apparent from long ago, Rainbow was particularly intrigued by the way Applejack wrote with her left hand, something that was usually corrected early on in her boarding school. It was a clear sign that Applejack had transferred in to the school late, if her charming accent hadn't made that apparent enough.

There was heat between their near bodies, and Rainbow found herself pursing her lips to hide a creeping smile, which threatened to breach the surface of her too-bored-to-care portrayal. Her audacious eyes trailed down the framed collar of Applejack's shirt, following the bent and wrinkled lines until finding the iron-clad bars of her done-up blazer and the pressing-against of her chest to the rear of the chair between her legs. Rainbow had always known trouble with keeping herself focused, but it was particularly trying when such a gorgeous young woman was trying to help her. It seemed to have the opposite of the intended effect.

“Trivial.” She snapped back to attention as she saw Applejack's lips move to make the word. Shifting back to look at the notes, she noticed the word had been written down at the start of another line, complete with a somewhat uneven colon and an underline.

“Trivial,” Rainbow Dash repeated as she nodded her head over and over slowly. With a smirk, she added, “That's an easy one.”

“It ain't just th' spellin' y'gotta look out for,” Applejack reminded the girl with a charmingly crooked smirk, that same captivating smile that Rainbow could not escape. Her bright eyes flickered up at met Rainbow's, bringing with them some flustering gaze and an explanation, “Remember, we gotta know the meanin' and origin too.”

“Brilliant.” Rainbow rolled her eyes and sighed. Trying for the answer, she went on, “It means insignificant, ordinary, useless. Yes?”

“Well, yea', that's half right,” Applejack agreed readily, shifting in her seat and leaning further over the back of the chair to point back at the word. “It's kinda funny when y'think about th' origin of it, though.”

“Ohh?” Rainbow feigned interest with a raised eyebrow.

“Trivial, it's derived from th' Latin word meanin' crossroads.” Applejack placed her fingers on her notebook and slid it across the desk, showing it to Rainbow Dash.

“Crossroads? Why is that funny?” Rainbow asked, her eyes jumping between the handwriting and Applejack's own elegant features.

“Don't ya think that when you're standin' at a crossroads, th' direction y'pick is kinda important? I mean, one road takes y'one way, but th' other one, somewhere entirely different.” She rocked back and forth on her chair a bit, tempting Rainbow to do more than sit quietly and listen. “A crossroads is an important decision t' be made. Don't sound all that trivial t' me, y'know?” Applejack went on, tilting her head to the side as her round eyes ran along Rainbow's thoughtful features.

“Hmm. Well, I take it you're right,” Rainbow agreed with a smile, reaching down and patting Applejack on the knee twice. “You're a smart girl, you know that?”

“Thanks, I guess.” Applejack just chuckled and got right back on topic, “C'mon now, we have a lot more t' get through,”

“The hard stop's on Monday, we've plenty of time,” Rainbow whined as she stretched her arms out in front of her before folding them lazily behind her head.

“And that, I'm guessin', is why y'ain't got higher than sixty percent all semester.” Applejack prodded with a teasing grin, and Rainbow jumped to defend herself.

“Sixty-five, thanks,” Rainbow corrected her adamantly. “But fine, fine. If you must make a decent woman out of me, have at it.”

“Beg pardon?” Applejack wondered with an oddly scrunched up expression.

Waving her hand up and down with a snicker, she went on, “I'm teasing again, go ahead and study.”

“Right, right,” the blonde shifted in her seat and leaned her whole arm around the back of Rainbow's chair, reaching out and picking up the pen again. “Next word, then.”

Rainbow watched Applejack glance over at her own work before repeating the strokes and scribbling the words onto Rainbow's page. Observing carefully as Applejack's hand moved across the paper, Rainbow noticed the smudged trails of ink that her palm faded the lines from a thick black to a dull grey. That sort of thing never happened when right-handed people wrote, but it was something so simple and overlooked that Rainbow thought was just as interesting as the rest of the girl. Noticing her knuckle miss the loop of a certain letter, Rainbow reached out and touched it with her index finger. She slowly dragged the ink out over the page, watching as the stark contrasts of shade blended into a beautiful grey gradient.

It was not as gratifying a blend when she smudged the mess of her dinner later that evening.

The dull colouring of the fresh-made lasagne smeared over the white plate, and Rainbow Dash stared blankly at it. Her appetite had been lessened over the last several days, which could have been due to the constant teasing or the fact that her attention had been elsewhere. Glancing up from her less than pleasing plate, she caught sight of Applejack just a ways down the table from her.

Upon seeing Applejack, she noticed a tightening in her chest. She had had that same agony squeezing her insides ever since she could recall, but lately it had become nearly unbearable. Rainbow Dash had never been one to get too near to her classmates, always pushing them away with her annoying banter or her roughness, but she did have several acquaintances. One of them, she had considered, was Applejack, the girl who always sat beside her and lent her spare stationary. The two rarely got a chance to spend time together alone until recently, as Applejack had always seemed busy. But now, as Rainbow watched her from across the table, she felt a good deal of jealousy flaring up.

Applejack was sitting beside her old room-mate, Rarity, and the two were chatting and getting along swimmingly, despite their dispositions and disagreements. She watched the blonde girl's attractive smile spread her features like curtains, and struggled to quell her urge to snort some rude remark. It bothered her, seeing Applejack smile towards another girl. She shook her head though, finding the thought entirely silly and ridiculous. Still, her hands squeezed and tensed around the corners of the plate, and she was too restless to sit by and idly watch Applejack live on in her normal, carefree life.

Standing up abruptly, Rainbow nudged her chair back across the floor. The noise startled some of the other girls who had been eating in peace, including Applejack, who instantly looked over at the rebellious girl. Cracking a smirk and shrugging, Rainbow turned to leave, only to be stalled once more.

“Rainbow Dash,” her name was called out, and said girl flinched to hear it said in such a belittling and annoying way. Glancing over at the nun, who had spoken, she waited for a reason for her addressing. “Finish your plate. You cannot leave until you have eaten your meal, you know the rules.”

Rainbow glanced over at Applejack, whose worried expression was set on her, waiting for her response. With a sigh, Rainbow obediently complied, “Yes, sister.”

Of course, Rainbow was never one to make nice, nor to follow instructions quite as thoroughly as most others. Picking up her plate, Rainbow lifted the edge up to her mouth, tipping the far end back enough to slide the soggy noodles across the flat surface and towards her lips. With a loud and obnoxious few gulps and bites, she finished off the rest of her lukewarm lasagne, exhaling a satisfied-sounding breath before dropping the dish right back onto the table.

“Happy? Golden.” Rainbow didn't wait for any answer, raising her hand to her mouth and rubbing the stray sauce off her lips down the back of her wrist and the top of her thumb.

Before turning to leave, she glanced over her shoulder, noticing the amused grin playing across Applejack's face. Hers was the only visage who seemed pleased and fond of the gesture, as everyone else seemed appalled or offended. Rainbow plopped her faintly saucy thumb into her mouth, sucking the taste off before sucking it out of her lips once more. She saw Applejack shake her head and huff something of a laugh from across the table, clearly quite taken by her remarkably nonchalant attitude. With a quick flirtatious wink left in her wake, Rainbow spun on a dime and made her way out of the mess hall.

“There goes Sappho,” someone muttered as Rainbow passed them, merely glancing over at them boredly. She had heard it all before, it was more of a nuisance than an insult by now.

“That's me,” Rainbow replied as she passed, flicking a quick two-fingered salute in the direction of the speaker, who looked confused by the move.

“Bet she's got a John Thomas in her knickers, that's why she always wears slacks,” someone noted, and as she heard it, Rainbow looked down at her loose fitting pants. She snickered a bit of a laugh, finding the idea somewhat funny or even appealing.

Being the first out of the mess hall was pleasant, Rainbow had realized a long time ago. The halls were vacant when the rest of the girls were eating, and she could jump and skip up the stairwell loudly without having to worry about getting a demerit or warning. Upon reaching her own floor, she realized that it, too, was desolate and empty. Sniggering to herself, Rainbow hurried over to the old, comfortable couch, flopping down on it with a grunt.

After a moment of sitting in the silence, bouncing her one leg lazily on top of the other by her ankle, she planted her feet well more than shoulder-width apart and sighed. It was nice and quiet, for certain, but it was also quite lonely. As her arms stretched over the back of the couch, she wished nothing more than to have someone sit in her casual embrace.

Her ears twitched as she heard some soft steps from down the hall, and leaned over one side of the couch to try and glance down at the noise. Seeing nothing, she relaxed against the couch and waited for more. Hearing the door to the staircase fall back into place, she noticed the steps get a bit quicker, and just after a small, thin shadow fell around the corner, a familiar peer followed afterwards. Rainbow Dash sat up straight as she noticed the girl, who had her head down as she crept through the hall as if it would keep her from being noticed.

“Fluttershy?” Rainbow gently spoke her name, feeling the word stick to her tongue in a foreign and tasteless way. Her voice almost faltered as she iterated it, feeling some pang of uncertainty and disappointment as she saw the look that her past room-mate gave her.

“Oh, um,” the girl stammered uneasily, flinching and twiddling her fingers unnaturally uncomfortably. “Hello... Rainbow Dash.”

“Surname and everything, hmm?” she realized with a solemn tone, nodding slowly. “How are you, anyway?”

“I'm... good.” Fluttershy did not seem in any mood to talk, but she stood by the corner as far from Rainbow as she could without seeming like she was running away.

“Ahh. Champion.” Rainbow was pleased to hear it.

As the two stood on opposite sides of the room, Rainbow Dash understood just how distant they truly were, by heart and by space. Something drastic had changed between them, turning them from good friends into strangers. Losing something like that was difficult to stomach, and Rainbow was quite remiss that she had eaten so much at dinner, as it almost made her nauseous.

“I...” Fluttershy started a sentence but paused, and Rainbow's attention jumped to her quivering lips. “I'm... sorry, Rainbow Dash.”

“For what?” the girl braved to ask.

“For... n-not being... not being, well...” Fluttershy coughed to try and hide the way she couldn't figure out her words, but they finally came out, “For not helping.”

“Helping?” Rainbow was not sure how to take that. She either meant that she was sorry for not helping Rainbow weather the storm that rained around her, or sorry she could not help her figure her way out of her supposed condition. “Well, thanks for the consideration, but I don't need the help. If it makes you uncomfortable, then I shouldn't expect you to stay around. Don't worry about it.”

“It's just,” the timid girl's voice broke high again, but she hesitated before going on, “Well, I-I feel like things h-have changed so much, suddenly. W-When I think about our friendship, I wonder... I, um, well, I feel like... like everything was... a lie.”

With a light-hearted snicker, Rainbow shook her head to realize how true that might have been, seeing as how she had been holding such a big part of herself. “It kind of was, hiding it all from everyone. But that's all.”

“But, being your room-mate, a-and your friend... I just wonder if... if, d-did you ever... uh,” Fluttershy had trouble spelling it out, but the mere suggestion of what she couldn't quite word was enough to infuriate Rainbow Dash.

“Wha—no, no, don't ask that bleeding bullshit.” Rainbow sat up straighter and scooted to the edge of her seat, pointing an accusation back at her former friend, “Why do you all just assume that because I'm gay, I'm some form of pervert who's always degrading and demeaning her friends in her head? I'm not a monster, Fluttershy.”

“I-I didn't mean t-to offend you,” she meekly explained, and tried another approach, “I just mean... well, perhaps you could have used some help, someone... someone to help you get through it. I-I couldn't be that for you.”

“Get through it? It's not something to manoeuvre through, to cure or to ignore. I was always this way, and I did just well and dandy. I was nothing but your friend, Fluttershy, and I never wanted anything more or less, understand?” Rainbow Dash went on telling her, finally pushing herself to her feet and walking a few steps nearer to the girl who shrunk under her gaze. As she seemed to cower and cover herself from any potential lascivious wandering of the eyes, Rainbow scoffed at the unspoken suggestion and crossed her arms. “Besides, you're not my type.”

“O-Oh, um...” Fluttershy struggled to speak, shifting towards the wall.

“See, I'm the type who isn't afraid of anything, the type who isn't shy about being who she is.” Rainbow Dash told the girl, her voice calm and strong. As the words came out, Fluttershy's gaze met her own. Rainbow was firm when she told her, with a thumb pointed to herself, “And that's the kind of similar strength I hope to find.”

“... I-I hope that you figure it all out, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy went on, not able to say anything too personal on the matter. She was still uncomfortable even seeing the girl, as it made her feel almost objectified, and hoped that somehow it would end. “Y-you don't have to be like this.”

“What do you think this is?” Rainbow Dash inquired in an offended and appalled tone, narrowing her eyes and frowning at the suggestion. “Everyone is saying the same thing. That I'm sick. That I need to be fixed. That something is wrong with me. Thing is? I feel fine, Fluttershy.” Rainbow shook her head and stormed right past Fluttershy, with but another few quiet words left in her wake, “It's people like you who are making me sick.”

And with nothing else but a disappointed shake of her head, Rainbow Dash left the girl who had abandoned her behind, and strode back to their previously shared room. She dared not look back, knowing that she would likely catch either a disgusted or disapproving look, the kind she had nearly grown accustomed to by then. But of course, one could never quite grow accustomed to that.

Slipping back into her dorm room, Rainbow sighed audibly, leaning her back against the door. Everything was so quiet in there; no passing insults squeezing beneath the door and soaking into the old knotholes, no scurrying by of happy peers enjoying their days in blissful ignorance, no rain knocking at her window. For now, her room was silent.

Rainbow Dash went over to her old familiar mattress, knowing that the inanimate nature of the thing would welcome her rather than cut her down. A peaceful exhale escaped her at last, and her sore shoulder muscles—wrought by the weight of the whole world, perhaps—gingerly relaxed against the firm cushion. She folded her arms behind her head comfortably, and with such a nonchalant position came the desire to rest. At first, her eyes merely closed as she bounced one foot over the other, but as the wonderfully dull solitude got to her, she hardly realized that she had fallen asleep.

Merely a wink or two later—as measured not by time, but by perception of it by a young girl—Rainbow Dash found herself stirred. At first, the touch against her chest felt so soft it might have well have been her own hand. However, as the grip increased, Rainbow's instincts were alerted to another presence, though she noticed no hostility. Peeking open one weary eye, Rainbow Dash locked gazes with an entrancing set of eyes, those which glistened like sunlit emerald in the now dark room.

She hardly had to glance down to notice that Applejack leaned right over her on her bed, and was firmly grasping her tie with one finger slipped over the knot and the rest holding it tightly. Stalled for a moment by dumbfounded misunderstanding, Rainbow just laid there staring for another few seconds, trying to learn how to speak again. Applejack's somewhat embarrassed expression made her want to smile, but she had to pose the question.

“What on Earth are you doing?” Rainbow asked blankly, propping one eyebrow up and making some attempt at a confused smirk.

“You'll wrinkle your uniform if y'sleep in it, y'dolt,” Applejack replied just as bluntly, proceeding to slide the knot over the thinner end until the tie came undone.

“Oh, Criminy it's late. Why didn't you wake me sooner?” she groggily asked, sitting up as her room-mate lifted the now loose run of fabric from around her neck.

“Y'all were nearly right outta it, I poked and prodded you three times. Besides, y'just looked s'darn peaceful, sleepin' there,” the blonde admitted with a smile, folding Rainbow's tie as she stood back up to place it on her night stand. “A happy change from all th' bickerin' y'do.”

“You adore it when I cock about, I know you do,” Rainbow teased, beginning to undo her shirt as she shifted on her bed. She was pleased to have heard Applejack say that she seemed peaceful, it sounded like something of a compliment that made her heart flutter once more.

“Get back t' sleep an' keep dreamin',” she chuckled as she tossed Rainbow's pyjamas over to her, intentionally hitting her in the face with them.

“Yeah, yeah, you're one to gob,” Rainbow retorted in a playful snicker, standing as she finished undoing her buttons and began sliding her dress shirt over her shoulders.

As she grabbed at the bottom hem of her white tank top and began pulling it over her head, she was stopped in her tracks by Applejack across the room. The blonde had begun doing the same without her noticing, as evident by the fact that her skirt dropped right around her ankles. Rainbow's eyes widened to watch the spectacle, which was her gorgeous blonde room-mate removing her clothes with her back towards her. It was somewhat hard to see, as the sun had clearly gone down, and Applejack had already turned the lights off. Leaning to one side, Rainbow Dash almost thought she might fall over, and it was worth it to fully inspect the girl before her.

Unlike her previous room-mate Fluttershy, Applejack had no qualms about changing right there in front of her. It both intrigued and taunted Rainbow Dash, but though she wanted to respect the girl and look away, she could not. In nothing but her white undergarments, Applejack looked so pure and untainted, which made Rainbow all the more enchanted. Swallowing her primal desires, she teetered a bit on one foot, lost in contemplation.

“You stuck?” Applejack's voice roused her to a start, and Rainbow's eyes snapped up to hers.

“Huh?” the rainbow-haired girl wondered dumbly, before realizing that she was still only about half way through taking her shirt off, and it was hanging over her elbows and around her neck. “Oh, no, I was just thinking.”

“Tha's dangerous territory,” Applejack mumbled a tease, and Rainbow hadn't even realized that the girl had pulled on a pair of loose shorts and a thin button-up shirt over her underwear. Noticing how Rainbow struggled to remember where she was in the middle of changing, Applejack chuckled and strode over to the girl. “Here, lemme help.”

Applejack took Rainbow's hands and gently unfurled them, leaving the thin shirt entirely in her own control. Gently, the blonde stretched the neck hole over her room-mate's head and pulled it over her somewhat messy, dyed hair. Her arms fell slowly back into place as Applejack kindly folded her shirt and placed it into the laundry hamper they shared.

It had her puzzled, Applejack's unfounded friendliness towards her. Certainly they had known each other for a good long while, but Rainbow was struck and impressed by how understanding she had been, and how close they had become. Her freckled companion in question picked up her pyjamas and held them out to her, which she gratefully took and began adorning with no spoken thanks.

“Get some rest, y'look a little off, sugar,” Applejack told her friend with a pat on the shoulder, before she walked over to her own bed.

“Brilliant.” Rainbow numbly responded, pulling her pyjamas on before sliding over to her own bed, watching Applejack get into her own bunk and mirroring the motions.

“Mmm,” Applejack hummed as she got comfortable in her bed, shifting around until the silence settled once more. She set to break it, though, “G'night, Dash.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with a quiet voice. “Good night.”

As they snuggled up under their respective covers, the sense of impending slumber settled over them. However, while Applejack drifted peacefully off, Rainbow Dash remained wide awake and rigid in her bed. Where once she had nodded off in merely a few moments, she now lay painfully aware.

Time seemed to crawl on, swaying back and forth in speed like some pendulum. And yet, each passing moment was another fraction of peace lost. As the hours rolled by, she could not hope to keep her eyes closed long enough that it might finally stay dark. No, for Rainbow Dash, there was something much more pulling than the sweet leisure of sleep.

The room was soaked in moonlight, saturated in silky streams of lunar paint strokes. Against the midnight canvas, the silver beams speckled the leaning, cast slivers across the cool room. Turning in her bed, Rainbow Dash gazed through the snow-like downy lacing and onto the pristine, porcelain-seeming skin of the young girl who captured her attention. Her sultry silhouette rose and fell such minuscule fractions against the stark dark walls, but even under the dim, dismal ambiance, her complexion remained beaming and breathtaking. It was particularly picturesque the way that the moon muted the normally vibrant and vivacious colours; the brilliant blonde of Applejack's hair turned to a shimmery silver, the auburn speckled freckles sank to a soot or charcoal dusting. The whole room, monochromatic beneath the ghostly gloom, appeared before her in haunting hues of grey.

Nothing in her life had seemed quite so pulling as this: as nearly nothing at all. A breath; abated, moderate, elementary in its common simplicity, a palliative, soothing ease that for just such a breath, seemed to quell all other burdensome sounds. A shuffle; some discreet and immeasurable movement that rustled the tormenting covers and sheets, breezes of fabric that barricaded a body from the innocence of lingering looks. A body; a warm, comfortable, tangible representation of a physicality so pure and loved it seemed divine in its mortality. A desire; floating, swelling, writhing and twisting through the air so tauntingly it seemed to burn at exposed flesh. These enticing and endearing little humanisms, these fragments of individuality belonging to someone whose unique self lay so near, these things were invaluable. These things were pulling and demanding and... entirely imagined.

She could feel it, and touched gingerly at her chest: the way her heart pounded so hard she could feel her ribs shake, the way her breath trembled as it escaped her anxious lungs, the way her cold hands tingled or twitched and longed for touches, the way she felt so void and empty, yearning for something so little as a passing graze or brush. And yet, she was struck still, overwhelmed by all her siren desires, tied tightly to the mast of her bunk. After all, she merely laid in her bed, and across a stale, slumbering dormitory, lay just another girl. Something that happened every night, something that was so unremarkable it hardly merited mention. It enthralled her to her very core, and deprived her of her own rest.

After several debates on the subject, which included countdowns in her head pushing her to move, she finally gathered the gall to toss the comforter off her body and sit upright. It was cold in the crisp evening air, and looking down at her own body brought about the sense of unfamiliarity, as her pigment-deprived skin appeared as colourless as the sheets beneath her. After a toned groan, Rainbow managed to roll off her cot, touching her bare toes to the cold hardwood floor.

Standing so far did not appease her restless spirit, so as quietly as she could muster with her weak muscles and her clumsy steps, she made her way to Applejack's bedside. Though she may have been perceived as startling just leaning over the girl's bed, she had trouble summoning the will to care. Watching the gorgeous blonde girl, even for just an instant, seemed worthy of any misconception.

Everything about her seemed attractive to Rainbow Dash: from the short length of her fingernails to the lengthy wisps of eyelashes that fluttered with perhaps a whimsical dream; from the few perfectly spattered freckles and moles on her exposed upper thigh to the feminine arc of her jaw. Even the way her collar fell crooked over her clavicle and showed just enough of her far-too-smooth-not-to-touch skin, which took all of Rainbow's will power to stave from caressing.

But what was particularly pulling was perhaps the silence that had wrapped around the girl in a tight embrace. It was intimate, in that settling quietude, when no mumbled or incorrect tumble of words from her silly mouth could ruin their comfortable moment. Even in her mere presence, Rainbow could feel her cheeks flush and her palms sweat, just thinking about how close she wanted to get, how much she wanted to gamble, how near she dared wager getting caught.

The daydreams lately had become just as awfully enjoyable as the night ones, and Rainbow only yearned that she could ever know for sure what it was like: what Applejack's rough hands might feel like, caressing her body; what the feminine dips along her waist might have measured against Rainbow's wanting hands; what their breasts might have felt like to come together in an embrace; what a kiss against her smooth and plush lips might feel like, might taste of. All these things were such demanding desires that Rainbow had indeed considered forcing them, but she could never truly imagine forcing herself upon someone so gentle and loving as her beautiful angel of a friend.

There was nothing more torturous than knowing you could never indulge in your deepest desires. If the object of her affection was indeed oriented in a different sexual nature, then Rainbow knew she could never be charming enough, funny enough, or attractive enough to win the girl over. And that realization was miserable. It hurt to even just imagine for an instant that there was a possibility, because when she came down off of that disillusioned cloud, she only felt worse for having wanted it so desperately.

She could not stay any longer, she could not look upon the face of love and tarnish it with her devious desires. So at once, still barefoot and clad in her old, loose pyjamas, Rainbow Dash crept out her own front door and stepped into the chilling vacancy of the dormitory hallway. She knew the way well enough without the need for direction or sight, and tiptoed her way to her destination.

It took a mere several moments to cross the building and sneak down the stairwell, exiting through the rear door that faced the hill upon which the campus church sat. The grass nibbled at her toes the whole way there, damp dew already beginning to settle onto the leaning blades. Stray thistles stung her, deterring her from her necessary confession, but she wavered not.

At last, she tore open the two great, heaving doors to the chapel, hearing the reverberant echo that sung about in the rafters. She had not been there since the day she had stormed out, and she had thrice promised never to return, but there she stood. Across the expanse lay an array of candles, all set out in rows of different heights and lengths, encircling the desolate altar. Slowly making her way between the pews, she found an equally unremarkable seat and knelt at the edge before sliding across it. It was a long few moments before she resigned herself to speak, and even in nearly a whisper, her voice sounded so loud and harsh against the wide worshipping walls that welcomed her.

“Uhh, hey... God, right?... Well, I really... I don't know how I'm supposed to start these things,” she began awkwardly, making an annoyed face at the way her words came out. Trying with the jumbled things once more, she spoke, “I mean, well, obviously you knew that already. I... I pray, I do. But I've never been good at anything other than repeating and reciting the usual words, telling you what I want—hell, usually just closing my eyes and pretending I knew what to think or do or say. But...”

Rainbow's words failed her, her own speech being flimsy and not sounding good enough to reach any idea of a Lord. Taking a deep breath, she nodded to herself and listened to what she had been taught, starting by sighing the cross over her head and heart. Clasping her hands in her lap, she tried once more.

“Forgive me, Father,” she pleaded with a scrunched up, worrisome expression, her fingers writhing in her hands and sweating just to admit it out loud, “For I have sinned.” She took a deep breath, figuring where she might begin with such a confession. Usually, one might confess to a priest, rather than the Lord himself, but Rainbow needed true guidance, she knew that much. “I know the scriptures, I know the passages well. I've been told them all, been made to learn and recite and understand them. I know what I'm supposed to do, and who everyone wants me to be. And yet, I am none of those things. I am broken, and lost.”

Her lip quivered as the words tumbled out, finding their way easily once she let it out. She cleared her throat to keep going, and changed the way her fingers entwined to try and find comfort. With her eyes falling shut, she admitted what she had feared most.

“My mind and my heart are tainted, Father. That's what they've all told me. I didn't believe it, I couldn't... but...” Shaking her head, she went on, “I'm confused. I'm so lost, Father, I'm so very lost. I have sinned, transgressed against myself, my better judgement, and... and I have sinned against her.”

With a grunt, she felt her chest tighten around the emotion that came as she even thought of Applejack. A snivel found its way out, and it sounded pathetic to hear it bounce back at her in the emptiness that the Lord's house left her with. Squeezing her palms tighter, she sat up and placed her hands out on the back of the seat in front of her, leaning forward to stare at her fingers as she remembered the words that she had read.

“Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully...” Rainbow Dash recited in words that were not her own, “Has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28.” Knowing it well, she admitted it, “I have coveted. Coveted the girl who's been nothing but a blessing to me. I have tainted her in my heart, and what's worse? Oh, Father, what is so much worse... I like it—I love it.”

And she did, she adored the way that Applejack made her feel, the way her heart raced when she looked upon her charming smile, the way her hands trembled as they touched, the way she loved her. She coveted Applejack, she wanted her, and she wanted to want her. But it all felt so wrong, as she cared so much for Applejack that she felt it was selfish to want to possess her.

“What am I supposed to do? Repent? Will that take the urges away, the thoughts, the dreams, the desires? I wish I could, I really, truly do. But I want her, Father, and I want to want her. That is so... that's so messed up!” She nearly burst into tears, but didn't know why. She felt more angry than sad, and that only grew stronger as her questions remained unanswered, as the Lord abandoned her alone in his dark temple. “Come on, you have nothing to say? Why are you still silent, Father? Why don't you speak to me, tell me what to do?” she found herself calling out, and rose to her feet at once. “Why did you make me this way? Why does no one struggle with this, no one except me? How can it be, that, that all these people, your people, they're taught and told to hate people like me—perfect strangers—to condemn them, to judge them? And you do nothing about it! Are you even listening?! Do you even care?!”

Still, not another sound was heard, nothing but the faint rumbling caused by her projected voice. She stood beneath the tall roof and peered at the stained glass, which appeared colourless as no light shone through. Her breath was heavy and loud after the outburst, but still she waited on something, some kind of sign or something.

“Sometimes the Lord is silent, so that we may find our way ourselves,” some voice replied, and it was certainly not who she had been speaking to. Turning around, Rainbow found herself face to face with her Headmistress herself. “So that we can hear our own voices.”

“I do enough of that already, thanks, Headmistress Celestia,” the young girl responded with a scoff, shoving her hands in her pockets and slumping back to her seat, staring at the ground.

“Rainbow Dash,” the woman spoke her name, and Rainbow did not answer nor move to indicate the name belonged to her at all. As she came over and sat beside the misguided young student, her midnight robes flowed over the dimly lit pews and settled over her feet. “We all have our transgressions to overcome. We all have confessions. It is what makes us human.”

“Being human sure can be troublesome,” Rainbow murmured with a shrug, glaring at her silly little toes.

“One of the greatest things about being human, though, is our ability to change. Our incomparable and interminable inherent ability to become greater than what we were, to strive to be someone worthy.” Headmistress Celestia looked over at her student, examining her slouched posture.

“How, though?” Rainbow found herself wondering.

“It's all right to ask for help, to know that you are mortal and flawed.” The Headmistress rested a hand on Rainbow's shoulder, and her voice was soft. “This is why we ask ourselves: what would Jesus do?”

“You think I should carry my burden through the streets for everyone to see?” the young girl teased lightly, a hint of her admirable nature coming to light in the darkest of nights.

“You already do that, Rainbow Dash.” the woman remarked with a smile, but went on, “But no, you should learn from those who are wiser. Ask for help, from Jesus... or from your congregation.”

Tilting her head to the side, Rainbow questioned, “My congregation?”

“Yes. Dash, if you would really like to change, to be someone who does not have to curse the Heavens to feel heard,” Headmistress Celestia told her, standing to her full height and holding out a hand. “I can help.”

“How do you mean?” she wondered innocently, her bright eyes shining in the otherwise monochromatic room, which was fogged with the dull grey moonlight and shadowed in sinking darkness.

“God gave man his intellect, and told him to watch over the rest of his creatures. He gave us the necessary tools to help his people pull themselves out of the grips of sin.” The Headmistress explained easily, as Rainbow took her hand and she led the young girl towards her doom. “There's a technique that has been developed for people like you, Rainbow Dash. It's called Aversion Therapy.”

Author's Notes:

Arby: "Grey... more like GAY, am I right?!"
Me: ... Just read it, fgt.

Sorry about the delay there folks, had a lot going on-- still do! Hopefully gonna finish up this and the Barmaid relatively soon. So, what do you think of this'n? The stuff with Rainbow Dash looking at AJ in her bed, soooo totally personal to me. I've been there so many times, and I tried to tell it how I feel it, but it seems like to do so, I would have to make that scene a hundred times longer, so... not gonna do that. Anyway, read on!