We were stood around the camp fire, looking out into the forest, each of us had a spell rifle that resembled a rifle from the American civil war era, keeping guard whilst Vinyl set up the stereo system, she has placed 4 speakers facing a different point on the compass, and now she was wiring them up.

“So” Vinyl said “what exactly is the plan?”

“First we play some soft music to draw them in, then when there is enough of them, we start blasting out dubstep, and whilst they are confused we shoot them down”

“So, death by Dubstep?” She asked.

“In a nutshell, yes”

“You’re going to slaughter them!” Autumn said, incredulously.

“Pest control” I replied, shrugging.

“OK, it’s set up” Vinyl said, before walking over to my laptop and putting on some classical music, the organ music started to drift through then trees, and we started to hear chattering amongst the trees.

“Um, Vuur Koning” Autumn said nervously, gripping her rifle tighter, I raised my rifle and looked into the sight.

“Wait for it” I said, I started to see movement.

“Be thankful you can’t see what I can” I heard Minion say.

“NOW” I shouted, floodlights switched on and dubstep started to pound out of the speakers, revealing hundreds of those things, confused from the barrage of noise, Vinyl grabbed a rifle and stood next to me
“OPEN FIRE”

Spell fire started to fly, felling countless numbers, but they kept coming.

“They never give up do they? 34…35…36” I said, counting off as I killed them.

“They are persistent buggers, you have to admire them for it, 40…41…43” Minion said.

“You skipped one” I said.

“Double kill” he replied.

“That still only counts as one, 50…51…52”

“Stow the chit-chat, 90…91” I heard Autumn say with a smirk

“Oh, it is on” I muttered, lining up my rifle and firing, hitting 3 at once “triple kill, 60…61”

“You wanker” Minion shouted.

“At this rate they should be dead by tomorrow night” Vinyl said dryly.

“Bring it on” Minion shouted before switching to full auto, we all followed his example and the creatures stated dropping like flies, then all at once, the sky lit up, the music stopped, the creatures froze and our rifles stopped working.

“What the hell?” I muttered, walking up to one that was frozen in mid-air, I poked it and it moved slightly.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS” I heard a voice call

“Oh shit, Celestia’s pissed” I muttered, I saw Celestia, followed by Luna, descend through the trees, they did not look happy, they landed and walked towards us, the bodies of the dead creatures disappearing as they walked past

“Why do you slaughter these creatures?” Celestia said, scowling, Minion walked forwards, surprising them

“Because things like those shouldn’t be allowed to roam free” he said.

“And who are you to decide what can and can’t exist?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Someone who has been running from them for the past 6 months” he said, taking of his helmet an exposing his scars, Celestia and Luna winced slightly.

“That still doesn’t give you the right to kill them in cold blood” Celestia said.

“Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do” he shot back, Celestia’s astral mane became orange flames and she raised Minion into the air, pure heat radiating off of her

“HOLD YOUR TONGUE, MORTAL, I AM PRINCESS CELESTIA, THE CO-RULER OF THIS NATION, I HAVE MORE POWER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE, I CAN MOVE THE SUN LIKE IT IS A MERE TOY, I AM A GODESS COMPAIRED TO YOU, YOUR LIFE IS THE MERE BLINK OF AN EYE COMPAIRED TO MINE, YOU ARE NOTHING IN MY EYES” She said in her Royal Canterlot Voice, we just stood there, terrified, she reverted back to her normal form, lowered Minion to the ground and turned to Luna

“Handle this please, sister” she said before teleporting away.

“She doesn’t like being woken up at night” Luna said, shrugging “but she made a valid point, who are you, 'human', to decide what lives and who dies”

“When they are so close to civilisation?” I said “they shouldn’t be here”

“True, I will admit that we were unaware of their existence” she said, before igniting her magic, causing all of the creatures to disappear “they will no longer harm anypony”

“Where did you send them?” Minion asked

“An uninhabited island” she said cryptically, smirking “now tell me, who are you”

“Minion, I’m his older brother” he said, pointing at me.

“Ah, I have heard many things about you from him” she said.

“You know each-other” he asked, looking between the two of us

“When you are a totally new species, it’s hard not to attract the attention of royalty” I said, shrugging, he deadpanned

“I’m supposed to be the one with more friends” he said.

“You mad?” I said, giving him the finger and smirking, he crossed his arms and huffed “well Luna, thank you for sending them away, and tell Celestia that I’m sorry, not sure about him though” I gestured to Minion.

“I thank you for the apology, and I actually understand why you would slaughter them all” she said, preparing to teleport “after all, there was once a time when Celestia and I would do the same” and with that, she teleported away.

“So” Minion said “care to tell me who the fuck that was?”

“Maybe” I said, smirking, “anyway, let’s get all of this packed away” I gestured to all of the stereo equipment “and then I’m off to bed”

I stepped out of the tent and into the fresh morning air with Boris perched on my shoulders, there was a low fog covering the ground, adding a sense of mystery to the area, the campfire smouldered slowly, a wisp of smoke rising from the charred wood, I walked into the trees in search of more firewood, I returned to the fire soon after and lit it again using a spell that I had learnt, I then called to Scar, who was currently laid in the ground, he got up and walked over to me.

“Let’s go hunting” I said to him, before we walked off into the woods, Scar sniffed the ground, having caught the scent of an animal, he lead us to a clearing, where I could see a deer of some type, grazing, I patted Scar in the side, before crouching down, he started to creep along on his belly, he slowly crawled forwards until he was a couple of meters away, the deer looked up, sensing danger, after a few moments the deer returned to grazing, Scar waited for a minute before charging at the deer, he jumped up and clamped around the deer’s neck, the sabre-teeth on his helmet severed the arteries in the deer’s throat, rendering it unconscious within a few moments, I walked over and patted Scar as he released his hold on the deer’s throat.

“Good boy” I said quietly, I then got the knife that I had borrowed from Minion and began cutting away chunks of meat, I then put the strips of meat into a pouch and began walking back to camp, when I got back Minion was sitting on a log, smoking a pipe filled with tobacco.

“I hope you’re in the mood for venison” I said, passing him the utility knife, he wiped it with a cloth before putting it into its sheath, tied around his chest

“As long as it’s meat, I don’t have a problem” he said, shrugging, before taking a drag of the pipe

“How did you get a pipe?” I asked, placing some strips of venison into a pan and placing it onto the fire

“Found it amongst the possessions of a pony that got killed by the creatures” he said, grimacing “it wasn’t pretty, I buried the body, but I kept everything useful, as for tobacco, he had a saddle bag that was bigger on the inside, filled with the stuff, so I kept the bag, that was about a week ago”

“as long as it doesn’t go to waste, but don’t go smoking in the tents” I said, pointing the spatula at him “I may tolerate you smoking, but that doesn’t mean you go abusing the privilege”

“I wasn’t gonna” he said, I turned over the cuts of venison, I could smell them, and apparently so could the two ponies.

“*sniff* what is that smell” Vinyl said, walking out of her tent, weary eyed, I saw Autumn walk out of our tent as well

“Guten tag” I said, waiving the spatula at them, they waved back half-heartedly, Autumn walked over and sat down on a log, her eyes bugged out when she saw what was cooking.

“Is that…meat?” she asked.

“Yes, Venison to be exact” I told her.

“Can I try some?” Vinyl asked, walking over and sitting on a log next to Autumn

“What?” the rest of us said.

“I said I’m used to hanging around with griffons, so I’ve had meat before, I’m just curios is all” she said with a shrug, I cut off a small piece that was now cooked and put it on a plate, I passed it to vinyl who grabbed the plate in her magic, Autumn shuffled away, Vinyl smirked and levitated the plate closer to Autumn, who kept shuffling along the log, she eventually shuffled to the end of the log and fell off, causing us all to burst out laughing.

“You are evil, the lot of you” she said, still lying on the floor.

“Oh come on” I said “how could you not have seen that coming” she raised up a wing and flipped the feather, I turned to Vinyl.

“So, how’s the venison?” I asked, she got a mischievous glint in her eye before taking a bite and saying

“Oh, it’s the best thing in the world” she said, over exaggerating

“La la la, not listening!” Autumn said.

“Seriously though, it’s not half bad” Vinyl said, before spitting it out “my stomach can’t handle it though”

“Fair enough” I said, shrugging, I then served up the venison for me and Minion, I passed a plate to my brother before eating some myself, and I chucked some to Scar, who caught it in mid-air before actually wolfing it down, Minion stare at the timberwolf.

“How exactly did you end up with an armoured wolf anyway?” he asked, before taking a bite of venison.

“Long story, but I will tell you that I had the armour made for him, and it’s permanent” I said, also taking a bite of venison.

“Permanent!?” Minion said.

“Yes, he’s a magical construct made of wood”

“What!?” he said, half laughing, he soon stopped when a flared up my magic.

“What can you do?” he asked, I smirked before teleporting to a tree branch about 30 feet up.

“All in good time, young padiwan” I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the tree trunk, he looked up and his jaw dropped.

“How the fuck…?” he said, I teleported in front of him.

“Magic” I said with a shrug, before placing my hand on his shoulder and teleporting us both in front of the fire, he bent over.

“You could’ve warned me” he said

“You’ll get used to teleporting quicker” I said.

“That wasn’t nice” he muttered.

“Get used to it” I said.

Several weeks later

After weeks of seeing nothing but trees, we were finally at the border with Germaney, I was surprised to see that there wasn’t anything to tell you that you were in Germaney other than a sign saying; ‘Willkommen in Vielekeim’ and a couple of Germane plain clothes royal guards, they stopped us before we could walk across the border

“Hallo und willkommen in Vielekeim, Wie lange wollen Sie bleiben? (Hello and welcome to Germaney, how long do you intend to stay here?)” One of them asked.

“So lange wie nötig (As long as necessary)” I replied, they must have noticed my accent.

“Dat aksent, du ist Trottingham, jäh?″ one of them asked, trying their best at speaking equestrian.

“Jawohl (yes)” I replied “ich und der Pegasus sind auch königliche Wachen (me and the pegasus are also royal guard)” they saluted us and we saluted back, we then walked across the border, once we were out of earshot of the guards I did a little victory dance.

“YES, it worked!” I said.

“So, you speak German fluently now” Minion asked.

“Yes, I often end up arguing with Autumn in German” I saw Autumn facehoof.

“I won’t even bother” I heard her mutter

“What’s she on about?” he asked.

“It’s called Germaney here” I said, shrugging “we often get into arguments about it”

So that’s why it didn’t say ‘Deutschland’ then?” he asked, I nodded, we eventually reached the town we would be staying at, it looked like a traditional mainland European village, Minion noticed the sign as we walked past.

“Trotterburg?” he said “that sounds like…”

“Like Kopparberg?” I asked, cutting him off “I know”

“Do all of the towns have horse puns?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That isn’t even the half of it, before we entered the forest we were in a city called Trottingham, and they all have a British accent” I said, tittering slightly

“You’re joking” he said.

“Nah mate, we” I gestured to me and him “have a costal accent, spoken in the north east of the country” I then turned to Autumn.

“Your friends don’t have a problem with timberwolves, do they?” I asked, the realisation suddenly dawned on her face.

“Oh damn, I forgot to tell them in the letter” she said, panic clear in her voice, before taking off and flying off at top speed towards what I presumed was the place we were staying at, I noticed the look on Minions face.

“Fast, isn’t she?” I asked him rhetorically, he just nodded, I chuckled slightly “you should’ve met Rainbow Dash…”

“What the hell kind of a name is that?” he said, cutting me off.

“An obvious name, she has a rainbow coloured mane and tail, and she’s really fast” I said.

“How fast is really fast?” he asked

“As in, ‘shatter the visible light spectrum’ fast, for some reason whenever she breaks the sound barrier, she causes a rainbow coloured shock wave, she even calls it a ‘sonic rainboom’” Minion laughed at that, we saw Autumn flying back towards us, looking a lot more relaxed, she landed in front of us.

“I spoke to them about Scar, they don’t have a problem, as long as you can keep him under control, and I told them about Minion, they don’t have a problem with him either”

“Oh, thank Fantasia” I said.

“Who’s Fantasia?” Minion asked.

“Equestrian high Goddess of creation, she actually exists, so I converted” I said with a shrug.

“How do you know?” he said

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because I met her when I tried to get back home” I said “Autumn was there, ask her if you don’t believe me”

“What he says is true” Autumn said.

“Whoa whoa whoa, back up” Vinyl said “you actually met Fantasia?” both me and Autumn nodded

“Holy shit” She muttered

“Right, let’s get moving” I said “I’ll tell you more about it later” we soon reached the B&B, it was a nice looking place, it was like a traditional tavern, there were several ponies drinking and chatting amongst themselves in Germane, Autumn was greeted by two ponies with very thick Germane accents.

“Du bist zurück, und mit Freunden diesmal (Your back, and with friends this time)” an aging green stallion with a grey mane said.

“Ja (yes)” she said, she then pointed to each of us "dies ist Vuur Koning, er kann auch Keimähne sprechen, und das sind Minion und Vinyl Scratch, aber sie können nicht Keimähne sprechen (this is Vuur Koning, he can also speak Germane, and this is Minion and Vinyl Scratch, but they can’t speak Germane)”

“Guten Tag (Good day)” I said, they must have also noticed my accent.

“dat akzent” the mare, who was blue with a white mane, said “du zound like du are vrom Trottingham, but dur body zayz othervise, vere are du from?” I thought for a moment to put together the correct sentence.

“Über das Land, über das Meer, und über den Sternen (over the land, over the sea, and across the stars)” I said, they looked at me in surprise.

“Über den Sternen!? (Across the stars!?)” they both exclaimed in surprise, I nodded.

“Es wird kein Problem sein, wird es? (It won’t be a problem, will it?)” I asked, the stallion waived a hoof dismissively.

“Oh nein, nein, dieser Ort ist offen für jeden, der ein Bett braucht, auch Aliens (Oh no, no, this place is open to anyone who needs a bed, even aliens)” he said with a chuckle, he then looked at Autumn “Ihr Zimmer ist im Obergeschoss. Autumn, wenn sie bitte so freundlich sein könnten es ihnen zu zeigen (your room is upstairs, if you could be so kind as to show them, Autumn)” Autumn nodded and led us all upstairs to a fairly large room with four beds.

“Sweet” Vinyl said, jumping onto one of the beds “How long are we staying her for?”

“just for the night” Autumn said “then we have a quick look around Marelin before heading towards the Crystal Empire followed by the United Griffin Kingdoms, thanks to you rather large sum of money we can catch a train from Marelin to The Crystal Empire”

“Why don’t we just walk?” Minion asked, we all looked at him incredulously.

“If you want to walk 1000 bloody miles through fucking arctic conditions then be my guest” I said, stroking Scar.

“Erm, no thanks, I think I’ll take the train” he said, placing his rucksack on his bed.

“I’ll go through the journey plan with you two properly when we go downstairs” I said to Vinyl and Minion, getting out my personal atlas, and showing it to them briefly, we left Scar and Boris in the room with our stuff before going back down to the Tavern part and walked to the bar, where the stallion was bar tending.

“Welche Getränke kann ich Ihnen bieten? (What drinks can I get you?)” He asked cheerfully, Minion tapped me on the shoulder.

“Ask him if they have any mead” he said, I nodded before turning to the stallion.

“Haben Sie einen Met? (Do you have any mead?)” I asked, he nodded “Ich nehme zwei Krüge Met dann (I’ll have two jugs of mead then)” he nodded before passing me two mugs, filled with steaming hot mead, I passed one to Minion and paid the Stallion the correct amount of bits before walking over to a table in the corner, Autumn and Vinyl followed soon after, Minion took a sip of the mead.

“Ah, mate, this is fucking beautiful” he said, practically melting into the chair, he patted me on the shoulder “cheers” I raised my mug to him and he raised his until they both touched.

“Prost (Cheers)” I said, before taking a gulp, oh wow, I can see why they say mead is like alcoholic honey, it tasted amazing, I could feel myself relaxing, I heard Autumn chuckle.

“It’s good isn’t it?” she said, I noticed she also had a jug of mead, whereas Vinyl had a stein of beer, both me and my brother nodded “Germaney is famous for its mead and beer” my brother sighed.

“I’m in heaven” he said.

“All we need now are wenches” I said, he chuckled slightly.

“What?” Vinyl asked.

“There is a band that Minion and I both listen to that wrote a song called ‘Wenches and Mead’” I said.

“Ah” Vinyl said, before taking a sip of her Beer, for the rest of the day we just relaxed, got a little bit drunk, and went to bed late.

I have now acquired the help of someone who speaks German as their first language to correct any Grammatical issues