Kickstart My Heart

Vinyl was looking into her mirror, carefully applying green eyeshadow around her cerise eyes. She animatedly put down the brush, excited about her date tonight. She thought back on how she had convinced Octavia to let her go on the date in the first place…

----

Two Days Earlier

“Octy, discussion time!” Vinyl yelled from the living room, sitting on the white couch.

“Alright, just a second!” Octavia yelled back. Some shuffling was heard, then the door to Octavia’s room opened, revealing a grey earth pony mare with a disheveled mane. She sat down on the couch next to Vinyl and crossed her legs. “So, what is this about?”

Vinyl lowered her head and sighed. “Well, Octy, I’d like to start a new relationship.”

Octavia nodded primly, smiling. “Alright. Who’s the lucky pony? Anypony I know?”

Vinyl inhaled a sharp breath. “Well, you see, that’s the thing...it’s not somepony…”

Octavia shook her head, still smiling. “Well, then, what is it? Griffon? Minotaur?”

Vinyl shook her head. “There’s no way I’m going out with a minotaur again after last time,” Vinyl said while chuckling, “I couldn’t sit right for a week!”

Octavia chuckled. “Yeah, I remember purchasing the inflatable donut for you. You were all like, ‘I don’t need that thing, how big could it be!?’” Octavia then shook her head. “Anyway, we’re getting off track. Who’s the lucky being?”

Vinyl looked around uneasily. “Well, it’s not somebeing...it’s someling.” Octavia’s expression quickly dropped into a frown.

“I would like to use my veto.”

Vinyl’s eyes widened at that. “Really!? Come on, Octy, don’t be like that!” Vinyl crossed her forelegs. “Well then, I’m gonna use my veto power to kick out that dragon you’ve been hanging around with!” Octavia’s eyes widened as she looked around shiftily.

“What dragon?” Octavia said nervously.

Vinyl frowned. “You know, the one you’ve been hanging around with all week! What was his name, Garble or something?” Octavia chuckled softly.

“Whatever do you mean? If I recall correctly, you’ve been shoveling those mushrooms down your throat for the past week!” Octavia giggled. “You must have imagined him.”

Vinyl stared at Octavia confusedly. “Imagine dragons? That doesn’t sound like something I would do…” she said looking down. She then lifted her head up. “But you’re right. Maybe I imagined the whole thing. I have been pretty wasted this past week—”

The bathroom door opened, causing Vinyl and Octavia’s heads to turn revealing a red dragon with a cream underbelly, an orange comb atop of his head, two pony size wings coming out of his back, and orange spikes down his back and tail, coming to an orange point at the tip. He appeared to be holding a bottle of body wash in his claw, which he was staring at confusedly. “Hey, Octy, it says this body wash is for mares only, but do you think it’s ok if a male dragon uses—” he started until he rose his head to witness the two mares sitting on the couch, the white unicorn with the cyan and azure mane wearing a fish-eating grin, Octavia biting her lower lip while her eyes were as wide as saucers. “Am...I interrupting something?”

“No. Not at all.” Vinyl said happily.

“Yes, a male dragon can use a product made for mares, Garble.” Octavia said through gritted teeth. The dragon nodded and went back into the bathroom. The sound of running water was heard shortly after.

“So which changeling were you considering dating?” Octavia said, quickly changing the subject.

Vinyl giggled. “The one I banged.” Octavia sighed.

“Well, at least you’re dating someone with a personality. The other ones seemed to just be cardboard cutouts of each other.”

“I know, right? Isn’t that weird?” Octavia shook her head.

“Well, don’t do anything uncharacteristically stupid...which doesn’t leave out much.”

“So does that mean you’ll let me?”

Octavia sighed again. “Yes, I approve.”

Vinyl smiled widely as she rushed over to Octavia, hugging her tightly. “Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

“You’re welcome, Vinyl.”

----

Vinyl smiled, picking up a lipstick tube in her magic, popping the top and twisting it up to reveal the black lipstick inside of it. She then went through the process of meticulously applying it, then screwed the lipstick back down, popping the top back on, and putting it back in her vanity. She then looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a black silk dress with spaghetti straps, green eyeshadow, and the black lipstick. She felt it was missing something...oh wait! She quickly grabbed her sunglasses with her magic and put them on her face. She then smiled into the mirror. “Perfect.” She then trotted out to the living room, where Octavia was reading Glamare. “So, Octy, how do I look?” Vinyl asked.

Octavia lifted her head up from the magazine, looked at Vinyl, then looked back down at the magazine. “You look like a bloody changeling.” Vinyl smiled.

“Perfect!” A knock erupted from the door, causing Vinyl’s heart to skip a beat. “Oh, Celestia, it’s here! Are you sure I look alright?”

Octavia shook her head. “You look fine. I just don’t understand why you would bother with putting on eyeshadow if you’re just going to cover it up with those sunglasses.”

“Because it’s cool,” she said while approaching the door. She took a breath, then opened it. There was a changeling in front of her, wearing a tuxedo jacket with a button-down shirt, hiding something behind its rump. “Hello, Nineteen-sixty-nine.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Hello, Vinyl. I understand you like these?” it said, revealing a bouquet of lilies wrapped in green magic. Vinyl smiled widely.

“Ohmigosh, I love these!” She said as she grabbed the bouquet from Nineteen-sixty-nine in her blue magic, chomping down on one of them while wagging her striped cyan and azure tail. “How did you know?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine blushed cobalt as he scratched the back of its neck. “Well, we do have a pretty extensive dossier on you from the Canterlot Event…”

Vinyl nodded, munching down on another lily. “Makes sense. So, why are you wearing a tuxedo if you’re a girl?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Well, I figured this would be more appropriate, seeing as how my ponysona is male.”

Vinyl nodded, throwing the bouquet behind her, it landing on Octavia, who glared at Vinyl. “Vinyl…”

“Sorry, Octy!”

Nineteen-sixty-nine cleared its throat. “So, where are we going, anyway?”

Vinyl grinned. “l’Mouton d’Or.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine appeared to be lost in thought, then shook its head. “Why would somepony name a restaurant The Golden Sheep?”

Vinyl giggled. “It’s owned by a griffon.” Vinyl exited her apartment, then closed the door behind her. “So, shall we go?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “We shall.” And with that, they walked shoulder to shoulder down the hall.

Dinner and a Movie

Vinyl and Nineteen-sixty-nine trotted up to l’Moutoun d’Or, a high class restaurant in Upper Canterlot with a stone face and a green awning above the door. Several couples were waiting outside, both ponies and griffons. Vinyl trotted up to the Maitre’D, a griffon. “Two for Vinyl Scratch and Nineteen-sixty nine, please.”

The griffon, upon hearing the changeling’s designation, rose to his paws and grabbed two menus. “Right zis way.” He then motioned to the couple and led them to a table, the Matrie’D pulling out two seats which Vinyl and the changeling took.

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Thank you, but why the special service?”

The griffon nodded as he handed them the menus, which they grabbed in their magic. “Eet is no special service, Vinyl here just made reservations in advance.” The griffon headed back to the podium. Nineteen-sixty-nine looked around, taking in the pegasus-inspired architecture of the stone columns that were evenly spaced among the seating area.

“Nice place.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said, scanning the menu.

“Yeah, I know, right?” Vinyl agreed. Another griffon walked up to them.

“Bonsoir to you, pony and honored guest,” the griffon, apparently female, said in a lilting, musical voice, “My name is Geneva, and I will be your server this fine evening. Now what can I get you lovely couple to drink?”

“I’ll have an espresso martini, shaken, not stirred.” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow at that.

“I’d just like a glass of water, please.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. “And may I ask what all this ‘honored guest’ business is about?” The griffon’s eyes widened at that.

“We at l’Moutoun d’Or just appreciate a fellow restaurateur gracing our fine establishment is all. I will be right back with your drinks.” The griffon nodded and walked away. Nineteen-sixty-nine rested its forehead on one of its hooves. Vinyl glanced at Nineteen-sixty-nine, then back at her menu.

“What’s the problem?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed, then lifted its head and looked over its menu. “I just wanted a nice quiet meal. Now I’m going to have the chef come over and ask me how my meal is, not to mention having the serving staff wait on me claw and paw.”

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?”

“I suppose it’s better than being hunted. By the way, why did you ask for your martini to be shaken, not stirred?”

Vinyl giggled. “A character in a book I read said that it ‘doesn’t bruise the gin’”

The changeling raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Why not?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed. “Wouldn’t shaking the concoction cause the gin to bruise more? In fact, I think you just ordered a weak martini.”

Vinyl shook her head. “It’s not about what’s inside the martini, it’s about the flash of ordering it that way.” The griffon came back with the drinks, Vinyl grasping the martini in her magic and took a sip. “This is perfect, ma’am.”

The griffon nodded. “Have you decided on any appetizers yet?”

“I have. Have you?” Vinyl said.

“Give me a minute, I’ll be ready when you’re done.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Vinyl nodded.

“Alright, Geneva, I’ll have a chef salad, hold the meat.” The griffon nodded and looked at Nineteen-sixty-nine.

“And you, sir?”

“Hold on a minute...ah, got it! I’ll have a caprese salad!” The griffon nodded and took their menus, walking away briskly. Vinyl then stared at the changeling in front of her.

“So, um…” she started, “how old are you?”

“Twelve solar years.” Vinyl sat up, clearly taken aback by that.

“So, we have a real May-December romance thing going on here, huh?” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow.

“May-December? Explain.”

Vinyl giggled. “Well, May-December refers to relationships that have an eleven year age gap between them, and seeing as how I’m twenty-eight…” The changeling nodded in understanding. “So...you changelings must grow up really fast.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Yes, the average changeling reaches maturity at eight solar years.”

“Cool. So, Nineteen-sixty-nine, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Ask away.”

“Well,” Vinyl started while fiddling with one of the forks in her hoof, “I kinda noticed that you’re a little different than your friends.”

“How do you mean?” Nineteen-sixty-nine asked, resting its chin on a hoof.

“Um, well, the changelings that you were hanging out with that night...they really didn’t have much of a personality.” Nineteen-sixty-nine lifted its head and giggled.

“You noticed that.”

Vinyl smiled. “Well, it’s kind of hard not to notice when someone has no personality.”

The changeling nodded at that. “Well, you see, those changelings are referred to as ‘gammas’, drones that mind-link with the nearest Alpha Changeling, which would have been me at the time.”

Vinyl nodded. “So...these Alphas...what do they do?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shrugged. “Back in the old days, we’d run point on military operations.” The changeling then looked down. “In fact, I was the Alpha that ran point for the Canterlot Event debacle.”

Vinyl stared a Nineteen-sixty-nine, hanging on to its every word. “What made it a debacle?”

“You know, the whole bum rush tactic.” Nineteen-sixty-nine threw its hooves up into the air in emphasis.

Vinyl shook her head. “No, I don’t. I was in Ponyville packing up my stuff during the invasion. I only came up to DJ the Royal Wedding and saw the aftermath. Octy was pretty shaken, though, so it must have been bad.” Vinyl then smiled. “So, what was the original plan?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “Well, for one, Princess Cadance was never supposed to come out of the caves. She should have been killed on sight, therefore enabling Queen Chrysalis to stay as Cadance and enact legislation to allow changelings in Equestria.” Nineteen-sixty-nine then clapped his hooves together sharply. “Unfortunately, our glorious Queen had a bit of a sadistic streak at the time and wanted Cadance to suffer, therefore enabling her to escape. When Cadance revealed herself, it botched the whole thing and we had to attack to try and take Canterlot. We would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it ironically wasn’t for Cadance and Shining Armor’s love.” Vinyl stared at Nineteen-sixty-nine, entranced in its words, when their salads were served to them. Vinyl smiled, picked up a fork in her magic, and dug in. Nineteen-sixty-nine stared at the mozzarella and tomato slices in front of him, sighed, and picked up a fork in its magic. It cut a bit off with the fork and put it into its mouth, savoring the flavor. It looked over to Vinyl, who was shoveling the salad in her mouth like it was going to run away at any second. Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed, then cut off another bite and ate it.

“So,” Vinyl said between bites, “it’s was Chrysalis’s fault that the invasion failed.” Nineteen-sixty-nine shot straight up at that.

Choose your next words very carefully, Alpha...echoed the voice of Queen Chrysalis in Nineteen-sixty-nine’s mind. Nineteen-sixty-nine gulped.

“Not exactly. We simply didn’t have enough contingencies in place.”

Vinyl nodded while wolfing her salad down, apparently satisfied with the answer it had given her. Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed in relief and made quick work of its salad. Geneva then came over and scooped up their plates, placing them on a nearby tray.

“So, have you decided on your main course yet?”

Vinyl and the changeling both nodded. “I’ll have the carrot-ricotta quiche.” Vinyl said.

“And I’ll have the beef bourguignon, extra potatoes please.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Geneva nodded and walked away.

“So, sources tell me you’re a Knight Commander, Vinyl,” the changeling said, wishing to change to subject so as to not risk blaspheming the name of Queen Chrysalis.

Vinyl nodded. “Yes, I am.”

“How did that come about?”

Vinyl chuckled. “I created the loudest sound in recorded Equestrian history.” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow, then shook its head. It really didn’t want to hear that story. “So, military commander, pornstar, and restaurateur, not to mention laying a Knight Commander of the Order of the Equestrian Empire and a sweet DJ to boot! What do you plan on doing next?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “Listen, about that, I’m really sorry I took advantage of you like that—”

Vinyl shook her head while smiling. “No need. Half of my relationships start as random hookups anyway. So, this is par for the course for me. But we’re getting off subject. What do you plan on doing next?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Well, I’m planning on expanding my restaurant to new locations. I have my eyes set on a property in the Crystal Empire. Apparently a lot of changelings have flocked there.” The changeling inhaled, then exhaled. “So, what are your plans for the future?”

Vinyl shrugged. “I dunno. DJ and party hard. It’s what I do.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by party hard?”

“You know, drink and do a fuckload of drugs.” Nineteen-sixty-nine sat up at that.

“Well, then, I wasn’t expecting you to be so blunt with that.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said, fiddling with a knife with its hoof.

“Hey, you asked.”

“That I did.” A griffon wearing a toque and a double breasted jacket came to their table holding their dinner orders.

“Bonsoir on zees fine evening, mes amies! Je m’appelle Gustave, and here are your deener orders!” He then placed the quiche in front of Vinyl, who beamed at the seemingly delicious yellow circle in front of her. “For ze Dame, my finest carrot-ricotta quiche!” He placed the beef in front of the changeling. “And for ze fellow restaurateur, ze beef bourguignon wees extra potatoes. Let me know eef you enjoy zem!” Gustave then bowed slightly and walked away. Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed, while Vinyl grasped a fork in her magic and started shoveling the quiche into her mouth.

“You know, it’s not going to run away.” Nineteen-sixty-nine said as it picked up a fork in its magic and put a piece of beef in its mouth.

“You sound just like Octy.” Vinyl said between bites. The changeling slowly chewed on the piece of beef, appreciating the flavor of the red wine that it was soaked in.

“About Octavia...it’s clear that the two of you are engaged in a romantic relationship, so how did this come to be?” Nineteen-sixty-nine forked a potato and put it in his mouth.

“We have an open relationship.” Vinyl said between bites. Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow and swallowed.

“Open relationship?” It stabbed another piece of beef and put it in its mouth, chewing on it delicately.

“Yeah. It means we’re in a relationship, but also pursue relationships with other beings.”

“How does that work?”

“What do you mean?” Vinyl put down her fork, having made quick work of the quiche. The changeling picked up another potato, put it in its mouth, and started chewing.

“You know, with the jealousy.”

Vinyl giggled. “Oh, we don’t get jealous. We’ve been doing this since college.”

“Hmmm.” Nineteen-sixty-nine swallowed, then picked up another potato and ate it.

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late!” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow.

“Late for what?”

“The movie!”

“What movie?”

“You wouldn’t have heard of it. It’s a real schlocky, low budget flick.” Nineteen-sixty-nine shrugged its shoulders and flagged down Geneva. Geneva coursed over to their table.

“Are you enjoying your meals?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded. “Yes, quite. Send my compliments to the chef. We’d like the check, please, though.”

Geneva looked at the changeling’s plate. “Would you like me to wrap that up for you?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “No, that’s fine.”

Geneva nodded, then walked away, coming back with a small, black, leather-bound folder, which Vinyl cringed at upon seeing. Nineteen-sixty-nine picked up the folder and opened it, looking at the bill, which read seventeen-hundred bits. Nineteen-sixty-nine grunted, reached into its coat, pulling out two one-thousand bit notes and a one-hundred bit note, and slipped them into the pocket of the folder. It then closed the folder and placed it on the table. It then stood up, Vinyl standing up as well.

“Well, lead the way, Vinyl.” Vinyl nodded and led the changeling out of the restaurant and around the corner, coming to a small building that had the letters EMC emblazoned across the front. She trotted up to the ticket booth.

“Two for Tragedy of Sombra, please.”

The ticket pony stared at her like she had grown an extra head. “You sure, lady? That movie’s been getting terrible reviews.”

“I’m sure.” The ticket pony shrugged his shoulders and ripped off two tickets, handing them to Vinyl who grasped them in her magic. She handed one to Nineteen-sixty-nine, who grasped it in its magic. Vinyl walked into the theater, the changeling following.

----

“Die, monster! You don’t belong in this world!” Celestia bellowed on the screen.

Nineteen-sixty-nine shifted in its seat. This movie was BAD.

“It was not by my hoof I was given such tremendous power. It was granted to me by ponies who wished to pay me tribute!” Sombra countered, the wind in the Frozen wastes billowing his cloak.

The changeling looked to its left hoof, which Vinyl was gripping tightly. It made to pull it away, but Vinyl just gripped it tighter.

“Tribute!? You steal ponies' souls, and make them your slaves!” Luna said, her words echoing through the chasms.

Nineteen-sixty-nine sighed, wondering how much longer this was going to take.

“Perhaps the same could be said of all religions…” Sombra said, pacing in front of the immortal beings he dared to challenge.

Vinyl rested her head on Nineteen-sixty-nine’s shoulder, Nineteen-sixty-nine tensing up in response.

“Your words are as empty as your soul! Ponykind ill needs a savior such as you!” Celestia triumphantly proclaimed as she charged her horn, the golden glow reflecting off of the ice present.

Nineteen-sixty-nine was tired of this movie. It rested its head on Vinyl’s head, Vinyl snuggling her head in response.

“What is a pony? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… Have at you!” Sombra declared before charging the alicorns with his horn glowing.

----

“That movie was TERRIBLE!” Nineteen-sixty-nine said as it and Vinyl exited the theater.

“I know, that’s what’s so great about it!” Vinyl said, smiling. Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow at that.

“You watched it because it was terrible?”

Vinyl giggled, “Yeah, and I’m a sucker for a good love story.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine barked out a laugh. “Good love story? It was horrible! One minute Sombra’s making some Mexicoltan dish, and then, scene cut, Sombra and Luna are in love!”

Vinyl giggled. “Eh, anyway you cut it love it a wonderful thing. And you want to watch wonderful things, don’t you?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “It makes me upset that I wasted brain cells watching it. Anyway, where did he hide all the bodies? Did he just have a mysterious pile in the Frozen Wastes?”

Vinyl chuckled. “I like to think he used a chainsaw.” Nineteen-sixty-nine smarted at that.

“I don’t think they had chainsaws a thousand years ago.”

“Hey! My headcanon, my rules.” Nineteen-sixty-nine shrugged at that. They walked the rest of the way to Vinyl’s apartment building in silence. They walked up the stairs into Vinyl’s hall, reaching Vinyl’s room. Vinyl then faced Nineteen-sixty-nine, looking expectantly at it. Nineteen-sixty-nine stared at her bemusedly.

“Well, now, good night and—” Vinyl forcefully planted a kiss on the changeling’s lips, cutting it off.

Liquid electricity flowed through the changeling’s bloodstream as its head became foggy, its wings involuntarily buzzing and lifting it off of the ground. It also became weak in the knees as butterflies started flitting violently in its stomach, itching to get out. It felt the hive in Vinyl, or that Vinyl was the hive...it didn’t matter, it’d try to narrow it down later. Vinyl disengaged the kiss as Nineteen-sixty-nine gently floated down, wearing a ridiculous grin on its face.

----

“Well, good night, Nineteen-sixty-nine,” she said seductively, her eyes half-lidded.

“Don’t try to stuff the alfalfa down the jeffries tube…” the changeling managed to get out before it staggered down the hallway, apparently half-drunk. Vinyl looked down the hallway, smiling. She then opened the door to her apartment and shut it behind her, seeing Octavia putting her cello away.

“So how was it, Vinyl?” Octavia asked, punctuated by the locking clasps of her cello case. Vinyl slid down the door on her back, hoof to her barrel.

“I think I’m in love."

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Nineteen-sixty-nine staggered down the hallway, feeling rather intoxicated. It stumbled down the stairs and out the front door, skipping in time with a tune in its head that was playing drunkenly. It then froze as it was contacted.

“Alpha...Alpha! Can you hear me?”

“Yes, my queen!”

“What the hay is wrong with you!? I just got a sudden surge, and now it sounds like you’re in a tunnel!”

The changeling heard the shuffle of papers on Chrysalis’s end.

“Are those...papers?”

The voice of Chrysalis sighed inside of its head. “...yes.”

“Why is there paper in the Hive?”

“Because these me-damned ponies apparently require a lot of paperwork!”

“Paperwork on what?”

“You know, stupid things...changeling ponysonas, resources reports, Individual dossiers...ridiculous things.”

“Why don’t you just have a gamma do it?”

“You don’t understand...these are things only I know...and these forms have to be filled out in triplicate! I’ve mind-linked with two gammas right now to lighten the workload. Anyway, what was that surge I felt from you?”

“I...I don’t know. It happened when I kissed Vinyl—”

“—you mean that unicorn slut you rutted?”

“MOM!”

“I don’t see what the problem is, I’m just calling a spade a spade.”

“Anyway, I kissed Vinyl, and I got this feeling inside of me, like...I don’t know if this makes sense, but it’s like the Hive was in Vinyl, or Vinyl was the Hive…” Chrysalis chuckled through the connection. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing. It appears you’ve got a dose of unfiltered love.”

“Unfiltered love? What’s that?”

“It’s raw, unprocessed love. You see, changeling horns filter the love in order to properly process it, but a kiss from a pony bypasses the circuit entirely, causing it to splatter about all of your organs. In short, you’re love drunk.”

“Well, can you drain it from me?”

Chrysalis laughed through the connection. “There’s no way I’m touching that with a ten-foot pole. Transferring unfiltered love through a changeling is akin to being struck by lightning.”

“So what do I do? I have this song in my head that I can’t shake!”

“Then sing it.”

“What! There’s never been a changeling song before that wasn't sung by you!”

“Nor a changeling pornstar or restaurant owner. You’ve done a lot of firsts, my little changeling. Don’t disappoint me now.” The connection then cut off, Nineteen-sixty-nine shaking its head.

“Sing a song…”

----

“Now what makes you think you’re in love with a changeling?” Octavia asked.

Vinyl sighed, then smiled. “I don’t know. I just feel it.” Octavia raised an eyebrow.

“What is there to love in a changeling?”

Vinyl shook her head, giggling. “You didn’t see it. It was so polite and proper, not to mention humble. It also knew so much. You wouldn’t think it was twelve just by talking to it.”

Octavia’s eyes widened. “Twelve!? Don’t you think that’s highly inappropriate?”

Vinyl shook her head. “Nah. Changelings apparently mature at eight.”

“Seems kosher to me,” a muffled voice that came from Octavia’s room said. Octavia angrily turned to the direction of her room.

“GARBLE! What did I tell you about speaking unless spoken to!?”

“To not do it,” Garble said.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Sorry, mistress.” Octavia nodded and smiled, turning back to Vinyl, whose right ear was twitching. Octavia’s eyes widened. She hadn’t seen Vinyl’s right ear twitch in years.

“I think I feel a song coming on,” Vinyl said as she rose to her hooves.

Octavia facehooved. “Damnit, Vinyl! And we were doing so well!” Upbeat music started playing in the air around them. Octavia’s eyes widened. “No, no, stop the music! I will not have a song number in this—”

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine was happily skipping down the street singing the song that was in its heart.

Everything’s amazing, and this feeling is proof
I’ve got the whole of Equus in the frog of my hoof

----

Vinyl danced around the apartment, twirling around so that her dress caught up in the flow. Octavia was sitting on the couch grumpily. Vinyl started singing.

Everything is magical, and that’s the honest truth
I’m in love with a changeling—

Octavia cut in with

—Which is rather uncouth

----

Vinyl and the changeling, unbeknown to each other, sang the next line together in perfect harmony.

Love’s a wondrous tune when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!

Nineteen-sixty-nine then leapt up to a streetlight, twirling around it as the changeling sang.

When you’re in the Hive, you’re never alone
And that can make you feel real small

----

Vinyl leapt up onto the couch and belted out the next line.

But when you’re in love, a feeling comes from above
That helps you stand up real tall

Vinyl then started singing with another voice, unknown to her.

Everything’s amazing, and this feeling is proof
I’ve got the whole of equus in the frog of my hoof
Everything is magical, and that’s the honest truth

Vinyl then sang

I’m in love with a changeling—

Octavia cut in with

—Which I still find uncouth
Love is playing Cello

Vinyl responded with

The feeling you get is oh so mellow

Garble then popped out of Octavia’s room, his claws tied to a broom behind his back.

Love is swimming in lava!

“Garble!” Octavia yelled as she galloped over to Garble and bucked him back into her room. Vinyl countered with

It’s hotter than a cup of java!

The unmistakable sound of a broom hitting the ceiling below them rattled their floor, when a voice below them sang

Love is SHUTTING UP!

Vinyl did a twirl and replied

It’s value can’t fit in a measuring cup!

Pinkie then popped out from behind the couch, singing

Love just makes me smile!

Octavia stared at the intruder, slack jawed. Vinyl grasped Pinkie’s face in her hooves and sang.

And a joyous smile’s always in style!

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine was still skipping happily down the road when it belted out the next line with a far-off partner.

Love’s a wondrous tune, when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!
I have everything that I want right inside of me
Love is filling me to the brim
Quite Excitedly

Nineteen-sixty-nine then saw Princess Luna fly overhead with a changeling in tow, a batpony following her. She sang out

Love is raising the moon

The changeling that Luna was towing, who had previously been unconscious, opened its eyes and joined in with

With someone to laugh

The batpony following Luna shook his head and knocked out the changeling, singing

And someone to cocoon

Nineteen-sixty-nine then passed the Canterlot Amphitheater, where Trixie was leaving followed by her two biggest patrons, Jet Set and Upper Crust, with Fancypants leaving as well, taking another direction. Trixie sang

Love’s powerful and great

Jet Set and Upper Crust joined in, harmonizing their lines.

With someone to switch
And someone to bait

Nineteen-sixty-nine trotted happily past an earth pony streetwalker, who cantillated

Love’s a filthy whore

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded and responded

You can’t find it at your local store!

The singing changeling then passed a strip club, where apparently they give lap dances outside. The club owner sang

Love’s a pretty stripper

The pegasus stripper struck a pose and sang with half lidded eyes

With someone to dance

The unicorn who she was dancing for flicked her a bit, which she caught in her mouth, sang

And someone to tip ‘er

Nineteen-sixty-nine skipped by Donut Joe’s, where Donut Joe sang

Love is Boston Creme

The changeling nodded happily and returned with

The taste of it makes me beam!

Nineteen-sixty-nine finally caught up to Fancypants, who sang

Love is so high-class!

The changeling sang without missing a beat.

Finer than the finest glass!

Discord popped into the scene and sang

Love is so chaotic!

The changeling paused, shook its head, and responded.

...yes it is!Love’s a wondrous tune when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!

----

Vinyl, Pinkie, and Garble were engaged in a dance number, while Octavia was gripping onto the couch for dear life. All of them were singing

I have everything that I want right inside of me
Love is filling me to the brim
Quite Excitedly

----

“...Quite excitedly!” Nineteen-sixty-nine sang as it entered its flat, only pausing when it saw Nineteen-eighty-seven staring at it, holding a Train Trend magazine in its magic. “Uh, hey.”

“Hey,” Nineteen-eighty-seven responded, flipping a page.

“So, uh, how was your night?” Nineteen-sixty-nine asked, hanging its jacket up.

“Terrible,” Nineteen-eighty-seven replied, “I had a couple dine and ditch on me. That’s one-thousand forty bits I’ll never see again.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine looked down, then grasped two bit notes from its jacket and handed them to Nineteen-eighty-seven. “Here. Don’t tell anyling I did this for you.”

Nineteen-eighty-seven looked up and grasped the notes, stuffing them in its uniform. “Far be it from me to turn down free money...but what’s the occasion?” Nineteen-sixty-nine trudged over to the couch, suddenly noticing how achy its hocks were. It plopped on the couch next to Nineteen-eighty-seven.

“Unfiltered love exposed a song in my heart.”

“Is that so?” Nineteen-eighty-seven flipped another page. “Want me to drain it for you?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “Don’t. It’s apparently like being electrocuted.”

“Noted.”

----

Outside, a changeling designated as Nineteen-thirty-three smelled it. It was the strongest, purest source of love it had ever experienced. It slowly charged up its horn and went to absorb the love.

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine and Nineteen-eighty-seven were inside their flat, Nineteen-sixty-nine resting off a vigorous choreography routine, Nineteen-eighty-seven still reading Train Trend. Nineteen-sixty-nine then clutched its chest.

“Someling’s trying to drain my love!” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Nineteen-eighty-seven put the magazine down and stepped outside of the flat.

“Um...Alpha, you’re gonna wanna see this.” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow, standing up and trotting outside to see the horror of a changeling burnt to a crisp. It stared on in shock as Nineteen-eighty-seven checked for vital signs. It then turned its head to Nineteen-sixty-nine. “It’s dead, Alpha.” Nineteen-sixty-nine dropped to its knees and crawled to the fricasseed changeling, hugging it softly in its forelegs.

“I’m...sorry…” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow.

“You know there’s gonna be another one of these very soon.”

“It was my fault…” Nineteen-sixty-nine said softly. Nineteen-eighty-seven facehooved.

“No it wasn’t your fault! It was that changeling’s fault! That! changeling!” Nineteen-eighty-seven said, animatedly pointing at the fried corpse for emphasis.

“My fault…”

“Chrysalis dammit, I’m getting the cops. Don’t tell them that this was your fault!” Nineteen-eighty-seven said as it buzzed into the air and flitted off, leaving Nineteen-sixty-nine to cradle the seared lifeform in its forelegs.

All You Need Is Love

Vinyl, Octavia, Pinkie, and Garble were sitting in the living room, Garble’s hands still tied behind his back. Octavia had deigned him acceptable to associate with company, apparently. Pinkie was beaming at Vinyl.

“So, who’s the lucky pony?” she asked.

Vinyl smirked. “It’s not a pony. It’s a changeling.” Pinkie’s jaw dropped.

“A changeling!? Why would you go out with a changeling!?”

Vinyl shrugged. “It was ugly-cute, but for some reason, we fell in love after that kiss.”

“You kissed a changeling!?” Vinyl nodded. Octavia glared at Vinyl.

“You kissed the changeling?” Octavia asked.

“What? It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Vinyl shook her head.

“I agree,” Garble said. Octavia glared at Garble.

“GARBLE! What did I tell you about speaking when not spoken to?”

Garble hung his head low. “Not to, mistress. Sorry, mistress.”

Vinyl stuck out her tongue. “I mean, I did bang it a couple months ago.” Pinkie’s eyes were as wide as saucers while a disturbing grin appeared on Garble’s face.

“You BANGED a CHANGELING!?” Pinkie exclaimed.

Octavia snorted. “At least you didn’t have to walk into the aftermath.” A knock was heard from the door. Everybody present looked around in confusion. Eventually, Pinkie rose up and answered the door, to reveal a changeling looking very grave. Pinkie looked back to the group.

“Hey Vinyl, is this the changeling you banged?” Octavia and Vinyl looked at each other in confusion.

The changeling snorted. “You mean that the Alpha rutted the unicorn?”

Pinkie glared at the changeling. “Don’t put it like that, that makes it sound crude!”

The changeling raised an eyebrow. “Then how should I put it?”

“Made love,” Pinkie said with a grin.

“Well, that certainly explains a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” the changeling started, “it appears that the Alpha accidentally killed one of our own when the poor soul tried to suck out the unfiltered love from it. As a result, it never wants to see you again, Vinyl.”

Vinyl’s eyes widened in shock. “Really!? But it paid for dinner and everything!”

The changeling shook its head. “What can I say? The Alpha finds you disgusting.” The changeling then slammed the door, leaving Vinyl to tear up. Somber music started playing. Octavia’s eyes widened in horror as Vinyl stood up.

“No! Not another musical—” Octavia started before being cut off by Vinyl’s singing.

Everything was amazing, now I feel like a goof
I had the whole of Equus in the frog of my hoof
Now I feel so alone
My mind had been blown and thrown
Everything I had just went ‘poof’
But maybe it’s just as they say
The stain won’t go away
Of being in love with a changeling
Maybe it’s meant to be
As plain as I can see
I mean, what did he really bring?

Vinyl Scratch then cried, Octavia moving in to hug her, with Pinkie joining in too. Octavia rubbed Vinyl’s withers gently.

“Don’t worry, Vinyl, I know how we can forget all about that nasty changeling.” Octavia kissed Vinyl, Vinyl kissing back vigorously. Their kissing continued for a full minute, which was making Pinkie very uncomfortable.

“Um...if it’s ok with you girls, I’m just gonna step over here…” Pinkie said while backing away. Octavia and Vinyl took the chance to lower themselves to the floor, deeply entrenched in each other. Pinkie took a seat next to Garble. “Do they always do this in front of company?”

Garble shook his head. “Only around those they’re comfortable with. Now could you please untie me?”

Pinkie nodded. “Okie Dokie Lokie!” and bit off the ropes binding Garble. Garble rubbed his wrists, then ran into Octavia’s room, emerging holding a camera. “What’s the camera for—” Pinkie started until Garble started taking pictures of the mares embraced on the floor.

“Taking memoirs for posterity, mare. Taking memoirs for posterity.” Pinkie retched at that.

“You know, I remember you didn’t like us ‘namby-pamby’ ponies not so long ago.”

“College does strange things to a dragon.” Pinkie shrugged, taking the answer in stride.

----

Garble slept in Octavia’s room, while Pinkie slept in Vinyl’s room, the two mares whom the rooms belonged to sleeping on the floor.

Octavia woke up with a start, surprised to find that Vinyl was not next to her. “Vinyl?” No answer. “Vinyl?” Still no answer. She rose to her hooves and went to the bathroom. The knob was locked. She started shaking the knob vigorously, the door still holding. Frustrated, she faced away from the door. “If you don’t open that door, I’m bucking it off of its hinges!” Still no answer. Octavia sighed, then planted a powerful buck to the door, ripping it off of its hinges, causing it to fly by a very surprised, tearing Vinyl. Octavia looked back and saw to her horror that there was a knife planted in the door. Octavia glared at Vinyl, then stomped over to her, grabbing her by the neck.

“What was that knife for?” Octavia said, her features screwing up into a mask of rage.

“Uh, cooking?” Vinyl offered half-heartedly, tears in her eyes. Octavia glanced to Vinyl’s forearms, noticing the gashes across them. Octavia snorted brusquely, then slapped Vinyl across the face.

“What the hay were you THINKING! I thought we nipped this in the bud years ago!”

“I didn’t mean to—” SLAP!

“What the hay does that mean, 'you didn’t mean to?' You mean to tell me you just tripped in such a manner to form perfect X’s across your hocks!?” Pinkie and Garble had emerged from their rooms by now, watching the scene from Octavia’s room.

“Drama bomb,” Pinkie whispered to Garble. Octavia glared at Pinkie.

“A little privacy, please?” Octavia asked. Pinkie and Garble both shrank behind the threshold. Octavia turned her gaze to Vinyl.

“This is over that dirty bugger, isn’t it?”

Vinyl sniffed. “Don’t call it that, that’s specist—”

Octavia snorted. “I’ll be as specist as I damn well want when a bugger causes my Vinyl to hurt herself!” Octavia then kissed Vinyl on the forehead and let her down gently. “Now where does that bugger live?”

Vinyl wiped a tear from her eye. “I don’t know.” A throat was cleared, causing them to turn towards Pinkie.

“I may know.”

Octavia glared at Pinkie. “Where does it live?”

“Across from Donut Joe’s.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”

Pinkie blushed as she hid what appeared to be about twenty-some-odd sheets of rolled up paper behind her. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Octavia snorted yet again. “Pinkie Pie, you are so random! Well, then, you heard the mare! Everybody to where she said!” Octavia then grabbed Vinyl’s scruff in her mouth, dragging her out the door, Pinkie and Garble following.

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine was sitting in the living room of its flat reading the Canterlot Post when it heard a furious knocking at its door. Confused, it set down the newspaper and answered it, being greeted by two angry mares, a crying mare, and what appeared to be a very disgruntled dragon.

“Are you the Alpha?” The mare in front, who he recognized as Octavia, asked.

“It’s name is Nineteen-sixty-nine!” Vinyl said between tears.

Nineteen-sixty-nine stared bemusedly at Octavia. “Yes, I suppose I’m the Alpha—”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Octavia said before she decked it, knocking the changeling to the floor.

It rubbed the side of its muzzle, wincing in pain. “What the chitinous carapace was that about!?”

Octavia laughed derisively, then leapt on the changeling, punching it repeatedly. “You find—” SMACK! “—my Vinyl—” POP! “—disgusting—” BAMF! “—and never—” SOCK! “—want to—” PUNCH! “—see her again!?” Nineteen-sixty-nine lifted Octavia off of it with its magic and placed her on the couch, wiping the cyan blood dripping from its muzzle.

“When did I say that?”

Octavia glared at Nineteen-sixty-nine. “You sent one of your lackeys to do it for you!” Nineteen-sixty-nine stared at Octavia perplexedly.

“When did I…” It then smacked its head. “Oh! Nineteen-eighty-seven must have went over after getting the police and lied to you!”

Octavia raised an eyebrow, while Vinyl rushed in to hug the changeling. “I knew you wouldn’t say anything as mean as that!”

“Hold on a second,” Octavia said, “why would a fellow changeling do such a horrid thing?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine chuckled. “He’s a Beta. A real prick. I’ve been meaning to find a reason to kick it out, and now it appears I’ve finally found it.”

Octavia glared at the changeling. “You’re not getting off that easy. She was so destroyed after she found out the news that I found her cutting herself over it this morning!”

The changeling looked around and asked, “Is that a bad thing?” Pinkie and Garble nodded, while Octavia facehooved.

“A pony does it when they have uncontrollable feelings of depression that they feel they can’t handle, which can happen after being rejected.”

“Well, that explains a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, did the Beta tell you about my dose of unfiltered love?” Octavia nodded. Nineteen-sixty-nine chuckled. “Well, that confirms that hypothesis.”

“What hypothesisissis?” Pinkie asked.

“Well, if the dose of unfiltered love had any effect on Vinyl. It appears to have created a feedback loop, soaking my entire system in oxytocin, while simultaneously injecting a massive dose of oxytocin into Vinyl’s brain.”

“Is that even possible?” Garble asked.

Nineteen-sixty-nine gently pushed Vinyl off of it and stood up, brushing itself off. “Well, there’s a lot we don’t know about changeling-pony relations, but unfiltered love is a dangerous animal. I suppose Nineteen-eighty-seven told you about the changeling I inadvertently fricasseed?” Everybody nodded. “So I suppose what kills a changeling would cause extreme reactions to a pony.”

Vinyl nodded. “Yeah! It’s like that really annoying thing that I do where I hold the mic up to the speaker and it creates a really annoying sound like this!” Vinyl’s horn then charged up, creating the sound that she just described causing everypony and dragon present to cover their ears, upon which Vinyl stopped making the incredibly annoying noise.

Octavia shook her head. “So, Alpha, do you even really love Vinyl?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “There’s no way of really saying, but I do enjoy spending time with her, even if her taste in movies is terrible.” Octavia giggled at that.

“I suppose you’re alright then.” Vinyl then rushed in to kiss the changeling. “NO!” Octavia yelled, upon which Vinyl paused, bewildered.

Nineteen-sixty-nine lifted up its newspaper and kissed it. “Why don’t we try it like this?” Vinyl stared at the paper confusedly, then grasped the paper as a flash of realization hit her and kissed the newspaper in return. Octavia giggled at the rather touching scene in front of her.

“Well, I suppose all’s well that ends well.” Pinkie and Garble were hugging each other happily at the threshold.

“I love happy endings.” Pinkie said with a tear in her eye.

“Can I see the deep-fried changeling?” Garble asked, upon which Pinkie pulled away from Garble and everypony and ling started retching. Garble looked around in confusion. “What? It’s for a science lab!”