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Action / Reaction

by totallynotabrony

Chapters

E-mail: Proposal

March 29, 2012  12:58 PM

FROM: plshoals

TO: bbharding

SUBJECT: PSYH 344 Project Proposal

Professor Harding,

I've decided on a semester project.  I want to explore the motivation of people who write "fan fiction" stories.  These are written about TV shows, books, or movies by someone who is a fan of the original, rather than the creator.

I believe I can learn about human creativity and the way people derive pleasure from being creative.

Sincerely,

Peter Shoals

March 29, 2012  2:18 PM

FROM: bbharding

TO: plshoals

SUBJECT: Re: PSYH 344 Project Proposal

Peter,

I'm familiar with the term fanfiction, and I know that nearly every published work has a community for it.  Did you have a specific genre in mind?

Also, make sure you do some offline research.  This isn't Wikipedia.

Brian Harding

March 30, 2012  8:06 AM

FROM: plshoals

TO: bbharding

SUBJECT: Re: Re: PSYH 344 Project Proposal

Professor Harding,

In the interest of being fair, I wasn't planning to limit my project to any particular "fandom," but that could change.  I've contacted the campus fanfiction club.  They invited me to come over to their upcoming meeting next week.  Typically, they watch a TV show and then brainstorm ideas for writing.  "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," is scheduled for the meeting I will be attending.  In order to get contrasting opinions, I'll also be interviewing friends and family of mine who don't write.

Sincerely,

Peter Shoals

March 30, 2012  9:08 AM

FROM: bbharding

TO: plshoals

SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: PSYH 344 Project Proposal

Peter,

I love that show.  Good luck.

Brian Harding

Project Diary

I want to keep track of my own thoughts as I work on this project.  I won't be including this diary with the final report, but I think it helps keep me organized.

I've got several goals in writing the Psychology report.  The most important is to get a grade, of course.  My personal reasons are something different.

I am a firmly closeted brony.  I'm already hurting for manly credibility, and admitting that I like a cartoon for little girls would destroy whatever I have left.  I don't announce it to the public, but the internet allows anonymity.

Back in 2011, I kept seeing pony memes popping up everywhere.  I discovered that it's literally the biggest meme that has ever been.  Curious, I watched the first episode.  I think Lauren Faust broke it into two parts on purpose.  I clicked the "next" button before I could stop myself.

After that, there was no going back.  You can finish the whole first season if you've got about eight hours of free time.  Once it was over, I had to have more.

I registered to FIMFiction.net, a website devoted to fanfiction for My Little Pony.  The show just wasn't enough anymore, and I had to have all the ponies I could get.

At FIMFiction, I'm able to be who I want to be, albeit under an assumed name.  I was a member for more than a month before I first got the itch to write something of my own.

Human in Equestria (HiE) stories, where a person somehow ends up among the ponies, were always my favorites, and that's what I wanted to write.  I first set fingers to keyboard in early 2012.

I feel compelled to insert a quote here that I think is great.

Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse

by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money.

That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction.

They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media.

The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.

—Lev Grossman, TIME, July 18, 2011

Well, my first attempt at "talking back" ended disastrously.  My efforts in the world of fanfiction were met with less than favorable reviews.  At least everyone on FIMFiction has taken a lesson from the ponies and learned to be polite, even when telling someone what a terrible pile of crap they've written.

I've decided to explore what went wrong.  Based on some of the comments, my problem seems to be plausibility.  It didn't sound believable.

Well, it's a land of talking magical ponies, how believable do you want?  Still, I clearly need to think about this.  Luckily, my Psychology semester project came up.

If I can find out what a person who has never seen My Little Pony would do when faced with a sudden relocation to Equestria, I could use the information to write a better fanfic.  

With the excuse that I was conducting interviews for Psych, I can do basically whatever I want.  Most people don't know anything about my field of study, so I can pretty much get away with anything.

I set up a series of questions to test my friends and family with.  I decided to cover the usual facets of human-insert stories.  I'll pitch them a series of situations and actions to see how they react.

I really want to fit in on FIMFiction.  I know that you should never change just to get people to like you, and I don't feel that I am.  I'm just doing research to find out what they like.

I can't tell anyone about this, though.  Norah, Pat, and Joe are the only people I trust to even mention ponies to, much less admit what I'm trying to do.  I'm very surprised to find out Professor Harding is a brony, but I'm not going to tell him about it, either.  Nobody outside FIMFiction can know.  

I'll have to clean off my freaking desk ASAP.  I can barely reach the keyboard through the pile of  electronics and trash.  I'm going to need extra room when I get started on the paperwork for this project.  I can tell that there's going to be a lot of it.

Transcript: Norah Constance

Okay, so I've shown you the pictures and you've got an idea what the ponies look like.

Right.

Imagine yourself awakening in a strange place.  Describe it to me.

Well...(looks around for inspiration) it's an apartment.

Is it yours or somepony else's?

Somepony?

If everyone's a pony, then everyone is everypony.

That makes sense, I guess.  Well, if it's a strange place, I guess it isn't my apartment.

Whose is it?

Um, I don't know.  They aren't home.

What's your next move?

Look around and see what I can find.

You discover that you're a pony.

I've been turned into a pony?

Right.  What do you look like?

I'm, uh, tan, I guess.

What kind of pony are you?

What do you mean?

Here, take a look.  This is a pegasus, this is a unicorn, and this is an earth pony.

I don't even know what I would do with wings or a horn.

Fly or make magic.

Yeah, no.

(laughs) All right, what's your cutie mark?

That's the thing on their hind ends?

Right.

I don't know.

What are you good at?  Is there anything that you really want to do with your life?

You should know.

Please say it for the tape recorder.

After I graduate, I want to work in the genetics field.  I think it's facinating.

So how does that translate to cutie marks?

Um, a double helix, maybe?

Okay, DNA.  So after finding out that you're a pony, what do you do?

I think I'd pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

You can't, you've got hooves.  Anyway, suppose that whatever you manage to do hurts and you realize that you're not dreaming.  Then what?

I would try to find help.

So you leave the apartment and go outside.  You're in a small town and there are other ponies everywhere.

Are there people?

No, it's a society made entirely of ponies.  A few signs that you see indicate that the town is called Ponyville.

I guess I'd ask someone for help.  Do they speak English?

Yes.  What would you say?

I'd probably explain that I don't know how I got to town and that I'm not supposed to be a pony.

That doesn't go over very well.  The other pony walks away, thinking there's something wrong with you.  After that, a bright pink pony comes over talking very fast.  She's friendly, and says that she hasn't seen you in town before.

I'd try to explain that I'm not really a pony and I need help.

The other pony ignores you and says that her name is Pinkie Pie.  She asks what yours is.  Do you tell her, or make something up?"

I'd tell her.  I have no reason to lie.

She thinks your name is weird, but says she's going to throw you a party and runs away.

Wait, a party, just like that? (laughs)

That's part of the deal.  Walking along, you meet a purple unicorn who comments that you must be new.

I don't know what I would tell her.  The truth doesn't seem to be working out, but I might try again.

The pony looks confused, but says that she might have a book about transformations.  She invites you back to the library where she lives.  She mentions that her name is Twilight Sparkle.

What is with these names?

Well, they aren't people.  Anyway, the library is made out of a large tree.  Twilight invites you in and starts grabbing books off the shelves with telekinesis.  How do you react?

That would be pretty freaky.

"You don't know what magic is?" asks Twilight, surprised.

No.  I'm not supposed to be a pony.

Twilight says that she doesn't have a book related to your condition and she's going to write a letter.  She calls for her assistant, who turns out to be a small dragon.

A dragon?  With all those flammable books?

They trust him.  Anyway, the pony dictates a letter which he writes down.  It's addressed to someone named Princess Celestia.  When it's done, the letter gets sent away with a puff of magic fire from the dragon.

Who's Princess Celestia?

Exactly who it sounds like.  Twilight tells you that she's the ruler of Equestria, the nation that you're in.

Do humans come here often?

Twilight says that she's never heard of it happening before.  Hopefully, the wise Princess will know what to do.

What happens next?

In only a few minutes, the dragon spits out a letter from the Princess.  She wants to meet you.

I think I would feel a little bit nervous about that.

Understandable.  Twilight tells you that the next train to the castle is tomorow and offers you a place to stay for the night.

That's really nice of her to offer.  I don't know where else I could stay.  I doubt I have any money for a hotel room.  I guess I don't even have pockets to keep it in.

So do you stay with her?  She has a spare bed.

I suppose so.

All right, thanks Norah.  I think that covers a good first contact scene.

Transcript: Patrica Shoals

Okay, the tape recorder's running.  I'm going to give you a situation and I'd like you to tell me how you'd react with the first thing that comes to mind.

Okay.

There's a sudden flash of light and you find yourself in a library carved out of the inside of a huge tree.  A purple unicorn is looking at you in surprise.  Also, you've been turned into a pony.

Like the colored ones you showed me?

Right.  What do you look like?

You know that Pokémon Rapidash?  Like that, but black.

Your mane and tail are made of fire?

Right.  

What about the cutie mark?

More fire.

That sounds a little like a Mary Sue.

Oh crap, you're right.  Um, okay, my mane and tail are dark blue.

What kind of pony are you?

I'm a unicorn.  I like magic.

All right, so you're in the library.  The purple unicorn asks if you're all right.  She says she accidentally transported you there with a spell gone wrong.

That bitch better transport me right back.

There's some kind of problem, and she'll have to do research.  She says her name is Twilight Sparkle and invites you to stay for as long as you need to.  She asks your name.

Call me Fireball.  So, we're in a library.  What kind of books do they have?

A lot of things.

I want to check out the stories.  Maybe they have some good stuff.

Just then, five other ponies come in.  Here.

(examining picture) Well, they're certainly colorful.  Wait, how did this one get a hat?

The pony tells you that she inherited it.  She has an accent that sounds Southern, or perhaps Ozark-ish.

Boring.

You aren't taking this very seriously.

Well, regardless of whether I've actually been transported to a magical land of ponies or if I'm just having a weird dream, I don't think I would believe it.

Suppose something happens that causes you to be completely serious.

Like what?

(sigh) Twilight casts a spell of belief on you.  It's super effective.

Oh shit!  I'm a pony!

What do you do?

Dramatic faint!

You wake up a while later.  It's dark outside, and you're on Twilight's spare bed.

Rape check!

(sigh) Twilight asks how you're feeling.  She says that she'd been doing some research and has discovered a old story about mysterious visitors being transformed into ponies.

So I'm a fairy tale or something?

Twilight thinks it's worth investigating and asks if you'd like to help.

Yeah, sure.  I don't have anything else to do.

You'll need to go meet the Princess, who is older than any other pony and may know something about the situation.

Oh!  What does the Princess look like?

You'll find out soon enough.  Twilight starts working on a teleportation spell to take you both to the castle.

Oh, no, I don't want any more magic from her!

Twilight seems upset and promises to get the spell right.  This is one she's done before.

No means no.

"We'll just have to get the Princess to send a chariot for us, then," she says.  Shortly it shows up.  Burly pegasi wearing armor are pulling it.

Are they...cute?

You're hitting on the Royal Guards?  Seriously?

It's fantasy.  I can do whatever I want.

Twilight warns you to be on your best behavior around the Princess.  She once banished her own sister to the moon for a thousand years.

What did she do?

Turned evil, or something.  Anyway, you're introduced to Princess Celestia, the leader.  Somehow, you manage to keep your mouth to yourself and the Princess tells you and Twilight that you must go on a journey to find the truth about how you got there.

I can do that, I guess.

Good.  All right, thanks for this.

Transcript: Joe Windsor

I can't believe you're making me do this.

You agreed to it.

But ponies?  Seriously, man.

All right, just for you, we'll do this a little differently.  Imagine that you've just woken up in a strange place.  It looks like an apple orchard.  What do you do?

I guess if I wasn't in any danger, I wouldn't freak out.  It would still be pretty weird, though.  You said it was an orchard?  I suppose there must be a farmer or something around and I'd go looking for them.

The farmer turns out to be an orange pony wearing a cowboy hat.  She's friendly, but cautious.  She says she's never seen anything like you before.

Okay, now I'd be really freaking out over a talking pony.

The pony says, "What's the matter, sugarcube?  There's nothin' to be scared of.  All of us here in Equestria are ponies."

Say that again.

You didn't hear me?

(laughs) No, I just want to hear you talk like a hick again.

Strong words from a Texan.

Hey-

Anyway, the pony tells you that her studious friend can probably help.  She isn't sure bringing you into town would be a good idea, though.

Why not?  She didn't run screaming from the big scary person.

She's special.

Sure, just hand-wave the plot like that.

No, really.  The pony introduces herself as Applejack.  She and her five friends make up the Elements of Harmony, a powerful force for goodness that has been used successfully against great evil.

So if she's some kind of superhero, why does she work on a farm?

Okay, I am going to hand-wave that.  It's not important.  The pony tells you to stay put and comes back shortly with her friends.  These are them in this picture.

Christ, those colors are almost hurting my eyes.

The pink one is Pinkie Pie, and wants to throw you a party for being new in the area.  The yellow one is Fluttershy, who is timid but seems curious about you.  The blue-and-rainbow one is suspicous and agressive.  Her name is Rainbow Dash.  Rarity, the white one, looks you up and down and comments on how fabulously you're dressed.

Oh, you.

The purple one is Twilight Sparkle, the local magic expert and historian.  She reveals that "humans" were an old pony tale that she discovered in one of her books.

So...I'm a living legend?

The pony shakes her head.  "No, the story about humans is a cautionary tale about how endless violence and hatred can wipe out an entire species."

Whoa, man, that's way more dark than I thought this was going to be.

It's a Psychology experiment.  I'm trying to make you think.

Yeah, all right.  So what am I supposed to do now that I'm in pony world and the last survivor of an ancient race?

Go back in time to prevent the catastrophe.

(laughs)  Wait, you're serious?

There's going to be some kind of epic quest involved on the search for truth and justice.

Well, I do like questing, but can you wrap it up?  My break's almost over.

You have a dangerous adventure with the ponies and come back a changed man.  They figure out how to send you home to your own time.  Armed with new knowledge, you attempt to change the world into a more peaceful place.

Sounds good.  Now, are you staying for lunch?

No, I try not to eat fast food.

Well, the manager's really on edge today, so you'd better leave before you get kicked out for loitering.

Project Diary

The stuff I'm getting from the interviews is pretty good, but I think it could be better if I go a little further into the story, rather than just first contact.  Most people aren't willing to sit through that long of an interview, though.

I still need to get around to starting the science part of the project.  The hypothesis isn't going to write itself.  I'll have to also check out any other research that's been done in this field.  After that, it'll be a lot of work to track down the patterns in the data and figure out what exactly that relates to.  I hope I haven't got myself in over my head.

Visiting the fanfiction club meeting was a little surreal.  On the outside, I think I did a pretty good job of remaining a calm, cool, profressional Psych student.  On the inside, I was thinking "Oh my God, these are my people!"

I was somewhat surprised to find that only about a quarter of the crowd were bronies.  I don't know why I expected it to be more.  Maybe because FIMFiction is doing so well.  I've heard that there are now more than 20,000 users on the site.

We watched "A Dog and Pony Show" which is one of my favories.  I only pretended to take notes, because I already know the episode by heart.  I'm begining to wonder if I should really be putting so much effort into my facade of non-bronyism.  It's a lot of work.

I did a couple of counterpoint interviews to add to those that I've conducted so far.  Everyone in the fanfiction club seems to be willing to help.

The memebers range from the likes of Jaclyn, who staunchly writes nothing but slashfics, to Todd, who is an unapologetic brony and has the Rainbow Dash t-shirt to prove it.

I also recorded a unique viewpoint in the form of a middle school student, someone I did not expect to encounter.  He was there visiting the club with his brother, who is a member.  I guess I could also interview Professor Harding for even more demographic spread, but that's a little bit outside my comfort zone.

After the meeting, I talked with Nicolas and Benjamin Carpenter, and Jaclyn Ross.  I forgot my interview forms and had to use my notebook.  They were less formal interviews, anyway.  Todd Whiting left early and I followed up with him through e-mail.

Transcript: Carpenter Brothers

All right, this is Nick and Ben Carpenter.  I'm going to ask you both a series of questions  First: how would you describe the concept of fanfiction in one paragraph?

Ben: People who get involved enough with a storyline have fantasies about it. If the person feel like it, they get written down and become fanfiction.

Nick: Fanfiction is... the greatest form of flattery. Writing fanfiction is like saluting the creator of the original with the utmost respect. One doesn't write fanfiction for that one show or game that you kind of liked, and that you'd watch or play when you had free time. No, fanfiction is the acknowledgement of the creator's ability to write compelling works, and do it well.

Ben: Way to outdo me.

(laughs)  All right, next question.  Do you write fanfiction, or just read it?

Nick: I've tried my hand at writing fanfics. Mostly, I just read them, though.

Ben: Same here.

You've both told me that you like My Little Pony.  How did you get started in that?

Ben: I accidentally clicked on the "Bronies" tab on Memebase back in September 2011, saw some interesting memes, and then proceeded to browse through every single page on there and starting watching the show on YouTube on September 17th, which, coincidentally, was the same day that season 2 started.

Nick: Ben told me about it, but I never really got into the show until January of this year. I was bored one night and decided to peruse Youtube for interesting videos, eventually deciding to check out FiM. I found it humorous, and was drawn in by the fluid animations and high quality visuals.  Computer art is a hobby of mine.

Is My Little Pony your favorite show?  Do you do any other fanfiction?

Ben: I watch Dr. Who and The Simpsons, but they aren't airing new episodes right now.

Nick: Yeah, Dr. Who is pretty good.  I've done some art of Minecraft, but it never really went anywhere.  FIMFiction is the first fanfiction website I joined.

What genre of stories do you like to read and write?

Nick: I read a lot of Human-in-Equestria. I also sometimes like to read alternate universe stuff.  When I try to write, I attempt to do original character stuff, firstly to try to develop believable, balanced characters and secondly because I'm slightly nervous about writing for the Mane 6.

Ben: I pretty much stick to action, adventure, and sci-fi.

Do you ever imagine that you're in the show as one of the characters?

Nick: It's happened before.

Ben: Yeah.

How would you react?

Nick: It might be cool for a while, but I'd want to leave eventually.  I really like having thumbs.

Ben: It depends on who I met.  I mean, I'd act differently around Blueblood than I would around the CMC.

Would your reaction be different since you know about the show?

Nick: Oh, absolutely.  I probably wouldn't panic as much because I would know where I was.  I'd also know who to go to for help.  It would probably make me want to go home more, though, because I would know that I'm in a TV show.

Ben: Basically what he said.

So you're in Equestria.  Are you still human, or have you become a pony?

Ben:  I'm a lime green pegasus with yellow-orange mane and tail, blue eyes, and jet engine cutie mark.

Nick: I'd be a rather plain brown pegasus with a computer mouse for a cutie mark.  While I certainly wouldn't mind being human - I already mentioned the thumbs issue - I'd rather not stick out.

Ben: I read a story once where they called stallion cutie marks "stud stamps."  I think I prefer that.

Makes sense.  All right, I think I've got everything I needed.  Thank you both.

Transcript: Jaclyn Ross

How did you first get started in fanfiction?

Wow, I don't even remember.  I think I was online one day trying to find a scanned copy of the latest Harry Potter book, and accidentally stumbled on something someone had written.  Once I realized that you could create your own stories out of existing work, that's all I wanted to do.

How would you describe the concept of fanfiction in one paragraph?

Fanfiction is what happens when people look at something and say "I like the idea, but I would have done it differently."  It spawns a whole world of "what if" situations.  Other people come along and say, "Wow, that's cool!  But I want to put my own spin on it, too."  Then they all get together on the internet.

Do you primarily write or read fanfiction?

I do a lot of both.  Reading is a good way to get ideas for your own work.

What stories do you like best?

That varies on my mood.  I do books, movies, TV shows, whatever.  I used to do a lot of "Harry Potter", before moving into "The Twilight Saga."  Now I'm on a "Supernatural" kick.

Twilight and its sequels are neither Norse nor a family history encompassing several generations, and therefore not a saga.  A series, if anything.

I didn't come here for a lecture.

Sorry.  Anyway, so what genres do you deal with?

Almost entirly slashfics.

That's like romance?

Gay romance.

That's all you write?

The world needs more depictions of males having sex.

Well...it sounds like you know your purpose in life, I suppose.

Gay sex.  (sigh)  My parents would be so proud.

Do you keep your fanfiction away from your friends and family?

Well, yeah, for obvious reasons.

If you wrote something a little less controversial, would you show them?

Probably.  They all know I'm an artist.  Creating stuff is just what I do.

Right.  Anyway, I talked to Nick and Ben earlier.  Both of them like My Little Pony.  Have you ever done any fanfics of that show?

No.  I've seen some of it, sure, but it just doesn't speak to me.

I have a quote here that I'll paraphrase.  "Fanfiction is written by fans who are not silent, couchbound consumers of media.  The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language."  Does that sound about right?

That sounds amazing.  And yeah, My Little Pony just dosn't talk to me.

Not enough stallions getting it on?

(laughs) I guess you could say that.  I'm sure someone else out there is all about that, though.

What do you think of the ponyfic community?

Well, it's not as rabid as some fandoms.  Cough, Buffy, cough.  I think it's remarkable how they've taken the show's message of love and tolerance as their own.

So you're saying there's not enough goodwill in fanfiction?

Well, there could be more.  I mean, we're all in this together.

Despite that, you write things that aren't for the general public.

That isn't the point.  I write it for me.  Granted, my stuff may not be what someone else wants to read, but I enjoy it.

So fanfiction is about your own personal entertainment?

Right.  Sure, having an eager audience helps, but doing it to be famous is the wrong reason.  Fame whores suck.

Profound words indeed.

E-mail: Todd Whiting

April 10, 2012  9:34AM

FROM: plshoals

TO: tswhiting

SUBJECT: Interview

Todd,

Thanks again for talking with me.  I have just a few questions for you.

I need to know your age, college major, hobbies, and hometown

How would you describe the concept of fanfiction in one paragraph?

Do you write fanfiction, or just read it?

What kinds of stories and genres do you like?

Do you ever imagine that you're there as part of the story?

I'll probably follow up with more questions later.

Thanks,

Peter Shoals

April 10, 2012  11:32AM

FROM: tswhiting

TO: plshoals

SUBJECT: Re: Interview

Age, college major, hobbies, hometown

I'm 24, in postgrad Media Arts and Animation, with a minor in history.  I like drawing (traditional and digital), reading, writing, video games, music and golfing.  I also collect swords.  I grew up in a suburb of Indianapolis that you've probably never heard of.

How would you describe the concept of fanfiction in one paragraph?

Fanfiction is a group of people who like something so much that they want to create their own stories to go along with it.  It takes a certain passion.

Do you write fanfiction, or just read it?

I'm a writer. I have over 50,000 words uploaded to FIMFiction, with over 15,000 story views.

What kinds of stories and genres do you like?

I love Adventure, Comedy, Sad, and some HiE.  I am reluctant to read Trollfics and I despise Clopfics and Shipping.  If I don't like something I don't read it.

Do you ever imagine that you're there as part of the story?

I think every ponyfiction writer does at some point.

April 10, 2012  2:02PM

FROM: plshoals

TO: tswhiting

SUBJECT: More questions

Todd,

Are you involved with any other show besides My Little Pony?  How did you get introduced to it?

Thank you,

Peter Shoals

April 10, 2012  2:28PM

FROM: tswhiting

TO: plshoals

SUBJECT: Re: More questions

Nope, I only write ponyfics.  There isn't anything else that interests me as much.

I saw it on the internet and got hooked.  Instant hardcore brony.

April 10, 2012  3:20PM

FROM: plshoals

TO: tswhiting

SUBJECT: Re: Re: More questions

Todd,

Could you talk a little more about the brony subculture?  How does the rest of the community affect you?

Peter Shoals

April 10, 2012  3:44PM

FROM: tswhiting

TO: plshoals

SUBJECT: subculture

Allow me to vent a little.

Bronies can be awful.  I always forget how much I hate other bronies until I get in a room full of them.  A lot of them are under the assumption that we have to act a particular way.  Our entire community is infested with a lack of love and tolerance.  Outsiders trying to do their own thing are shunned.  Not to mention casual homophobia and racism.

I realize that sounds harsh.  Let me put it another way.  Some people think that the term 'brony' means you have to act a certain way and follow the herd.  It's not true.  If you like MLP, then you should be welcome, regardless of how different your ideas are.

I got where I am by not giving one single shit.  You can't let the negative opinions of others affect you.  If I listened to what everyone else demanded that I do, I wouldn't have 210 followers on FIMFiction.

Having said all that, it's still probably one of the nicest fanfiction communities out there.  It's just not quite as good as it could be, and I've been trying to change that.

I listened to a little bit of your interview with the Carpenters before I had to leave the meeting.  It's pretty obvious to me that you know something about MLP, but you didn't discuss it.  Why not?  Are you afraid to admit that you like the show?  You aren't being honest with yourself.

Trust me, things just work better if you man up and stop hiding from who you are.

Project Diary

I've learned a lot in these past few weeks.  Getting honest reactions from people about HiE situations was enlightening.  Arguably better, though, were the things I learned about fanfiction as a whole.

The philosophical musings of Ben and Nick taught me the importance of having someone to confide in.  As brothers, they already had each other, but the rest of us have to find someone.  You just have to take the first step and get your secrets out on the table.  If they're a good friend, they won't push you away.

From Jaclyn, I discovered that you don't have to please all the critics.  While fanfiction can be a powerful thing, it's not life or death, and you don't have to accommodate everyone.  As long as you do your best at pleasing yourself, you'll be all right.

Todd forced me to think about myself.  I've heard of military bronies, but I never expected to meet a militant brony.  He’s serious about reforming the ponyfic community.  He's also serious about getting me to open up.  After letting me think for a while about his last message, he sent another e-mail with a link to his FIMFiction page.  He turned out to be one of my favorite writers!  I can't believe this.

I think I know where I need to go from here.  While I’m not quite ready to wear pastel pony logos on my clothing, I should make some changes.  

First off, I’m going to get in contact with Professor Harding and tell him that I’d rather do my project on the psychology of self-discovery.  While I enjoyed interviewing everyone, trying to arrange all the random data I've taken into a viable project probably won't work.

After the report is done, I'm going to try writing pony stories again.  I’ve joined the fanfiction club.  The members all vowed to accept me the way I am and support whatever I do.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.

author notes

If you didn't catch it in the description, yes, this story is fictional.  Mostly.

Despite that, I still had to do a bunch of research.  I'm not actually a psychology student.

I'd like to thank Dash Vader, CenturionFox13, and Altoid for working directly on the project.  Fernin deserves mention just because he's Fernin.   I'd like to recognize about a dozen other people who helped me get started when I first began writing this story over a month ago, and also my regular readers who have contributed to this story in various subtle ways, perhaps without realizing it.  Don't worry, that doesn't mean I planted subliminal experiements in my other stories.

Thank you all.

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