Phoenix

Chapter 9

“You got the map?” Dante questioned the purple unicorn entering the room, as he finished loading a shotgun magazine tube. He pumped the action, putting a round into the chamber and then topped off the magazine with one more round.

Twilight nodded, levitating the furled map to the table that she had also learned doubled as a computer. She laid on the table as the biped took a hold of it and unfurled the parchment. Twilight watched as laid his firearm on one side of the table to hold down one of side of the paper and produced another object, a smaller firearm and used it as a paperweight as well, holding down the other side.

Twilight glanced around the room, noticing various firearms in various states of obvious disassembly, and crates full of gold pointed objects. Dante must have noticed the unicorn’s confusion to the alien technology, as he clarified.

“I’m cleaning and getting them ready for use. The gold stuff is ammunition. I’ll have to explain firearms a bit more when I get a chance but it uses chemistry to propel a projectile down the barrel and towards a target. Ballistic firearms are pretty popular in my empire because they pack more of a punch and hit armored targets harder then plasma or laser weapons do.” Twilight nodded her head.

‘So they throw small spears?’ She thought to herself.

Dante examined the map Twilight had produced. Equestria was a pretty odd landmass, he had to admit. Surrounded by two oceans and a sea that filtered out to another ocean. The map was also very stylized. “Okay, Sparkle, show me where the mine is. I’m assuming this map isn’t to scale.”

Twilight nodded her head. “It is not to scale, but this is the official map made by Royal cartographers for the general public. It’s typically only used for rough guidance.” Twilight pointed to an area of the map showing an area that appeared to be a city, or rather… a village, given how small it is.

“This is Ponyville. It’s where most of my friends are from and where I’m currently a resident of. You’ll take the train down there. Once you’re in the town, follow the tracks to where they meet Ghastly Gorge.” Twilight pointed to a chasm. “And avoid Everfree Forest, no matter what. It is one of the most dangerous places in Equestria.”

Dante rolled his eyes. “How is it dangerous, Twilight?”

Twilight reared onto her rear hooves, flailing her forelegs around. “The weather moves by itself there! That’s completely unnatural! And then there’s the animals!” Dante fixed her with a blank stare.

“The weather controls itself? The hell’s weird about that, Twilight?” Twilight looked at himself with a shocked gasp.

“Weather shouldn’t crontrol itself, Dante! Do you know what happened the last time pegasi and gryphons lost control of the weather? Wendigos! That’s what happened!” Dante chuckled and patted her on the head.

“Boy, you’d hate my home, then. No one controls the weather at all. If it rains, it rains. If it’s hot as shit out, it’s hot as shit. In any case, you were telling me to how to get to these mines.”

Twilight cleared her throat form her previous outburst, and continued. “Er… yes. Once you reach Ghastly Gorge, it should be a simple matter of combing the forest to the North of the Gorge for the mine.”

Dante fixed his eyes with Twilight’s. “Twilight… you want me to walk around the a forest for hours hoping to find a door to a mine that has been overrun by a hostile slaver force? A door that, may I remind you, is going to be relatively small.”

Twilight’s ears drooped, and her eyes lowered, tail lowering between her legs..

“Y… ye-” Twilight’s response was cut off.

“Eh, not the worst thing I’ve done.” Twilight, recovering from the shock of the terrifying stare whose intensity had matched that of Fluttershy’s looked back up at the biped, who was now snickering.

“You should have seen the look on your face, Twilight. It was like I was scolding a puppy for making a mess in the house.” Twilight’s expression became one of anger.

“That wasn’t funny!” She shouted.

“Yes it was.” Dante responded, putting his hand on top of her head once more. “Anyways., I’m not taking a train to where I need to go.”

“You aren’t?” Twilight questioned the biped, how else was he planning to get there. Ponyville was quite far away and walking there would take days, even if you never stopped to rest.

“Nah, come on. Follow me.”

Without another word Dante began walking. Twilight hurried to follow, observing the biped’s odd gait. Most bipeds in Equestria were oddly proportioned. Their upper bodies significantly larger then their lower bodies. But Dante’s body, Twilight noted, was more or less proportional in size. And his gait looked sort of like he was falling forward before his other leg caught him. His forelegs swinging to balance.

Twilight watched as he entered another door and onto a rather large. He gestured for her to follow.

She entered the door hesitantly.

“Venus, vehicle bay.” Twilight could feel the platform descending.

“This is a lift. Or an elevator. Really, they’re interchangeable. Brits and Aussies call them lifts. Americans call them elevators.”

“What’s an “Aussie”” Twilight questioned.

“It’s an upside down Human.” Twilight watched as the biped chuckled to himself, assuming it was a joke… but maybe it wasn’t. Twilight was never entirely sure with this biped.

The door opened, as Dante stepped out. He held his hand out in a gesture, the same way a colt would hold his hoof out to proudly show his toys off.

“The… vehicle bay!” He announced.

Twilight glanced around the rather large hanger like area. As various metal constructs sat in it. Some were significantly larger then Dante and some were a bit smaller then he.

“In here, we have helos, jets, cars, trucks, motorcycles. The NPR was known for running undercover operations in IoP and Human territory so they took a bunch of Human vehicles and retrofitted them with Imperial tech. Like reactors instead of combustion engines.”

Dante walked over to one of the metal constructs and opened a door.

“This...” Dante searched around the interior for a few seconds, his body bent over as Twilight examined the metal… thing. “Is a Ford Raptor, 2023. That’s, uh… Gregorian calendar. Four wheel drive and this one has been beefed up and up-armored using Imperial tech… And there’s no fucking keys!” Twilight jumped as Dante slammed the door close and raised his voice.

“Come on, Twilight. Check all the pockets of these fuckin’ assholes. One of them probably has the keys.” Dante kneeled down as he started rifling through the pockets of one of the skeletons, apparently the same species as he.

“Uh… I think I’ll leave it to you. I’m not exactly comfortable… grave robbing.”

“Twilight… these people would have shot you to death without thinking twice about it. They killed billions of my people by bombing Earth. Not only that, they’ve been dead for five millennia. So A.) They deserve it. And B.) They’re literally just bones at this point.” To drive his point home, Dante crushed the skull of the skeleton he was looting. Twilight merely cringed and looked away.

“Alright, fine, I’ll dig through the couple of hundred skeletons down here Twilight, it may take a couple of hours, though.”

Twilight looked back at the biped. “And how would one other pony help you?”

Dante looked up from the remains he was looting. “You could grab a couple dozen of’em in your magic, turn them upside down and… like… shake the shit out of their pockets.” Dante waved both arms and up down. “You know, like you’re looking through a jacket or a pair of pants for keys or a gun that you forgot where they were. And instead of sticking your hands into each one of the pockets, you hold them upside down and shake.” Twilight fixed her eyes with his and gave him a blank stare.

Dante raised his hands in a surrender gesture. “Alright, alright. I’ll find them myself. You just sit there and do… well, whatever it is magical, colorful ponies do while their alien companion loots five-millennia old skeletons looking for keys to a five millennia old truck.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and moved to inspect one of the “trucks” in the bay, as Dante returned to his looting.

Celestia gently lowered herself into her bed, levitating her regalia onto a stand and kicking her shoes off. The blankets levitating onto her body, as she welcomed the encompassing warmth of her blankets.

Still she could not immediately fall asleep, like she assumed she would, given the fact that she used up quite a bit of energy today. Not just fighting Queen Chrysalis, but also dealing with the mess the alien guest had made… well, not quite dealt with them. She decided to deal with it tomorrow, when she wasn’t as ragged as she was now.

She was also worried about Twilight. She was fairly confident her charge was safe in the custody of the alien, he had so far made no violent moves against Twilight, and had seemed to take to the bookworm a bit more warmly then everypony else, so far. So surely she had to be safe with him… right?

“Ah!” Twilight screamed as a bang went off, her magic still gripping onto the handgun she had picked up from the ground, just slightly under a car and idly started examining. Which, of course, resulted in her pulling the trigger.

Before she could react any further, it was ripped from her purple aura as she received a light smack on the nose.

“Damnit Twilight, I told you not to fuck with anything without asking me before hand.” Dante, with practiced ease, dropped the magazine into his hand and deposited it into his pocket. He racked the slide and caught the chambered round in his hand, dropping that into his pocket as well. He examined the chamber to ensure it was clear and dropped the slide. He tucked the now empty gun into his waistband and started walking back to the skeleton he had been searching before Twilight decided it was a good idea to screw with alien technology.

Twilight was now nursing her snout, that Dante had smacked in such a way one might smack a misbehaving dog. Not hard, but enough force to make it think about what it was doing. Her ears were still ringing and she had missed the verbal scolding Dante had given her.

“That hurt, Dante!” She screamed, although to her it was still muffled.

“It hurt less then what would have happened if you’d been pointing the barrel at your face.” He turned to her once more, pointing his finger at her.

“Do. Not. Touch. Anything. Else. Without asking me first. I would have gladly cleared it for you so you didn’t nearly kill yourself!”

His voice lowered, as he sighed.

“How’s your hearing?” He asked.

Twilight’s eyes lowered, as she put her head down once more.

“It’s a bit better, but there’s still a loud ringing.”

“It’ll subside soon.” Dante smiled as he felt something in the skeleton’s pocket. “In any case, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Sorry, what was that?” Twilight shouted, apparently the ringing was a bit louder then Dante had thought.

“I said: I’ll get a doc-bot to give you some nanitic steroids to prevent the onset of Tinnitus.”

“I have no clue what those are but thank you, I suppose...” Dante rolled his eyes.

‘Ponies, man. I don’t think even I was this clumsy when I first came into contact with aliens.’ He thought to himself as he rifled through the pockets of the long dead NPR trooper.

Luna had ordered the guards to allow petitioners into the castle for Night Court. She doubted many would come, but she had the same authority as Celestia did. So depending on the case, the petitioner may have better luck appealing to the Lunar Princess then to Solar Princess. Still, very few ponies ever came, despite the court being open for three hours.

However, this situation was unexpected. A crowd of ponies were… well, crowded in front her throne, all of them asking for clarification, assurances of safety, and explanations.

“Please, my subjects, quiet down.” Luna pleaded with the crowd, hoping they would do so. She had been told by Celestia to tone down her use of the Royal Canterlot Voice, and she was trying her hardest to avoid using it.

“Please, I will answer your questions, but it must be in an orderly fashion.” Once again Luna’s pleas were drowned out by the raging crowd. Her infamously short temper already made even shorter then normal due to sleepiness and the fact that she still held onto the older traditions. Such as subjects immediately quietening when she spoke.

As such, she lost her temper.

“SILENCE. I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS, BUT IT WILL BE DONE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION OR I WILL HAVE YOU IMPRISONED.”

The shout pushed several ponies back, as the manes of the entire crowd were slicked back from the force.

Silence reigned the room for several seconds, before one of the ponies worked up the nerve. She forced her way out of the crowd.

The unicorn mare, with a yellow coat and blue mane and tail, her cutiemark a hat with a piece of paper tucked into it, bowed to Luna before beginning.

Levitating a notepad and pen, she began. “Princess Luna my name is… well, my pen-name is Muck-Raker, if knowing my pen-name is enough, your highness.”

“It is, Muck-Raker.” Luna nodded. “Now, please continue.”

“I have just a few questions for you. Is it true that an unknown creature engaged in a running magic battle with a unicorn in the streets of Canterlot today?”

Luna nodded. “Yes, I can confirm this incident did occur.” The princess left out the fact that it was a mix of magic and alien technology.

The mare scribbled some notes down. “Is it also true that your highness along with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza challenged the creature, at which point it threatened to kill both of you?”

“It was a… cultural misunderstanding and was resolved soon afterwards.” Once more, the mare scribbled notes.

“Witnesses report seeing the unknown creature walking and conversing with your highness, Princess Celestia, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Captain Armor and six other ponies. Is the Diarchy currently aware of the whereabouts of this creature?”

“We are, and we currently have a… trusted advisor keeping an eye on him.”

The mare nodded and wrote down some more notes. “One last question, your highness, that is if you have time for it.” Luna nodded, giving the mare the okay to continue. “Is this creature a danger to ponies?”

Before Luna could respond, the mare continued. “According to witnesses to the running magic battle, he shouted various threats at the unicorn he attacked. He then refused to back down when confronted with two princess, your highness and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Witnesses who were also present at the wedding when the changelings attacked report the creature as slaughtering them wholesale, denting marble itself and crushing them with seemingly no effort. He was reported as deflecting a magical attack from Queen Chrysalis away, who was reported to have defeated your highness as well as Princess Celestia, as well as the combined magic of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain Armor and then scaling the walls, stallion-handling the cocoons your highness and Princess Celestia had been forced into and tearing open with his bare hooves the material the Queen had cocooned your highness in.”

Silence once more reigned in the room as the ponies gathered took in this information. The unicorn held her head higher. “Your Highness, can the Diarchy guarantee our safety when it seems to be unable to stop even a simple biped who will jump to lethal actions seemingly with little push.”

Luna sighed, as she she lowered her head. “Muck-Raker, was it?” The unicorn, at the mention of her name, lowered her head, realizing she was now confronting royalty.

“Yes, your highness.”

Luna raised her head. “Muck-raker, I can not guarantee you anything. But I can tell you this. So far, every… being that has been killed by the creature’s hooves so far have only been killed after provocation. He has not yet resorted to violence until he himself has been threatened. I have confidence that he will not resort to violence unless it is in response to being met with violence. He has also shown a large amount of self-control in not pursuing the Changelings during their retreat, something I believe would be perfectly acceptable in his culture. And I will admit that the confrontation between Princess Cadance, the Gen-… er, the creature and me was caused by… me. But he is not a threat in general to ponies. He has been generally cooperative with us.”

Before anyone could respond, Luna stood from her throne walking towards the group.

“I’m afraid I am cutting the court short. I have… sensitive matters to attend to. Guards, please escort the crowd out of the castle. We will have a meeting with more information in just a few days.” Several lunar guard formed a half circle around the crowd, escorting them from the throne room.

As the doors closed behind the guards, Luna allowed herself to relax slight, slumping her shoulders. She lit up her horn, using the spell she uses to see dreams. She smiled as she found the one she was looking for. It was the only one she didn’t recognize.

The remaining guard’s did not change expressions as their princess disappeared in a flash of light.

Luna landed on a beach. The skies overcast, gray, the sun not out. Luna lifted a hoof… or, at least, she was supposed to be, but instead what she held up to her eyes was a hand.

With no control over her body, she propelled her body into a divot in the ground as the world exploded around her.

“Poet 1-5 Actual, how copy?” A voice cracked to life through her ears as Luna struggled to figure out where it was coming from. She had never been in a dream like this. She noticed text running through her sight from seemingly out of nowhere.

She moved her mouth, seemingly unable to control her body.

“Phoenix 1-Gamma, this is Poet, I copy.” The voice, she had heard it before. She was in Dante’s body, of course she couldn’t control her body. This wasn’t a nightmare or a dream. It was a memory.

‘I must have kickstarted it by accident.’ Luna panicked. Dreams and nightmares she could leave whenever, but memories were another beast entirely.

“Poet, break, Phoenix, Courier and Kit are pushing around the side to make it to the wall. We’re making a dash for the shield generators so we can get Imperial birds down here. Poet, rally the units and make sure you keep the mile. Keep them occupied so we can get the shields down.”

Luna, now in the body of the alien creature, lifted herself from the divot, hefting what Dante had called rifle up and firing off several rounds into the distance.

“Copy that Phoenix, Legion units will rally and hold the mile. You all just make sure that fuckin’ shield is down.”

“Copy Phoenix, good luck with the mile. Out.”

Luna raised the rifle once more, firing off. She was able to see it strike another creature that looked quite a bit like Dante, as it collapsed.

“All Legion units, this is Poet 1-5 Actual, our mission is simple. The general and two other units are moving forward take down those shields. Hold this mile and keep the heat off them so they can get to the wall!”

Luna could only watch as Dante advanced upon what was very clearly danger.

“And while we’re holding this mile.” Dante’s voice continued. The etiquette he had shown before all but forgotten. “Let’s break the backs of these fuckin’ clones while we’re it at it.”

Luna heard cheers come over whatever magic it was Dante was using to communicate with his fellows as he charged forward. He was soon accompanied by other armored bipeds as they dashed forward, bullets and explosions hitting the ground near them.

Dante slid to a stop at a wall connected to no building, no doubt destroyed by the fighting, falling to one knee, and aiming down the sights of his rifle.

Luna was forced to watch in horror, as the biped callously shot several opposing bipeds who had failed to retreat to cover. Although they too were fully armored, it appeared to be lighter then the armor Dante was wearing, from what Luna was able to observe.

All the text and graphics appearing in her eyes, Luna failed to grasp what any of it, but Dante did not have that trouble. Twisting his body, Dante shot a soldier attempting to round the corner to his right on what remained of the wall. Another attempted to follow his fellow and for his troubles also received a round penetrating his armor and killing him.

“Legion, regroup on Poet, spread distance.”

She watched as several other bipeds moved to whatever cover the could find near Dante. Their rifles raised and firing. If it was anything like how unicorns were utilized in battle it was to keep the heads of the opposition down.

“Less then five hundred meters from our current position is the NPR’s main dug-in on this beach!” Dante raised himself from his kneeling stance. “And the Legion’s going to take it as our beachhead! Go!” Dante, with Luna observing from his eyes, broke from cover. His armored comrades following behind him. All hell broke loose, as sand and earth were kicked up from unseen explosions and whistling overtook the skies. Fog preventing them from seeing very far.

“The orchestra of war has started and we’re the fuckin conductors, ura!” A voice rang out through Luna’s ears. It wasn’t Dante, she knew that much.

She watched as one biped was thrown several meters by one of the unseen explosions. The biped struggling the get up. She internally grimaced as she realized the armor had failed to protect the left foreleg of it, now missing and spurting blood. Still, it stumbled and raised its rifle, firing more shots to the unseen enemy.

Another biped came to its aid, hugging the injured biped’s left side, the assistant slung the bloodied left side over his right side and began aiding the injured biped in pushing forward. The injured biped assisting by continuing to fire at the enemy.

More text and graphics shot across Luna’s eyes, as the word turned more chaotic. She could feel something slam into her left arm, then right. Then a solid impact in the lower abdomen. Dante’s body stumbled as both he and she shared the pain.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw another biped run past her, when sand and earth was kicked up by another explosion. Her sight turned blood red with chunks of body obviously mixed in with the blood.

She involuntarily raised a hand, callously wiping her visor off with a hand, as the host quickly recovered from the explosion and hit. Glancing to the left, Luna caught sight of the biped… or, what was left of it. Whatever weapons the defenders were using, they were powerful. Able to rip the armor apart.

Had Luna been in her own body, she would have vomited. She had seen war before, but she had never seen creatures act so callously and cold towards their brothers. Dante didn’t even seem to spare a second glance to his mutilated friend. And the disregard they had for their own lives, the one who its arm amputated had continued pushing forward.

“Legion! We nearly have them! Keep pushing them! Carrier Group 17 held back the night, now it’s our turn! But it will not be so simple as holding the night back. Today the Legion makes history once more! Today we push the night back! For 17! For the Imperium! We are the only thing standing between the Imperium and a millennia of darkness! We are the Army of Forlorn Hope! The Black Line has held for long enough, now it takes back what rightfully belongs to it!”

Luna had lost all understanding of what was going on at this point. But she did know they had finally broken through the fog. And she could see it. An entire army. Tens of thousands of soldiers, at her lowest estimate, all taking up position.

And all of them had rifles pointed straight at her.

“The dug-in!”

“Take it!”

“The Black Line does not break until the final legionnaire draws his final breath! Now take it, at all costs!” Dante’s voice once more yelled out.

Luna wished she could say she was lucky enough that they didn’t open up on the charging soldiers.

She wished.

Luna’s world disappeared as an explosion went off right next to her. Blacking her vision out, as she could feel herself being ripped from the memory.

Luna reappeared in a place that was definitely not the throne room.

And before she could make any observations of the room she was, an arm wrapped around her neck, and hand gripped her snout, keeping her from screaming.

The arm wrapped around her neck dragged her on the ground as her rump and back hit a solid object. A voice whispered in her ear.

“Charge your horn up and I snap your neck. Understand?” She recognized the voice.

She gently nodded her head. “I’m going to let go of your snout and you’re going to explain to me what you were doing in my brain. Scream and I will snap your neck and I’d rather Twilight not wake up to a dead princess.” Luna looked to her left, and indeed there was a slumbering Twilight… with her head resting in Dante’s lap. The biped in question was on the floor.

Dante released Luna’s muzzle. And instead of explaining, she had to ask a question.

“Why does Twilight have her head in your lap?” She whispered to Dante.

Dante raised a finger, tapping her on the nose, which caused her to furrow her snout.

“The fact that there’s a purple unicorn using my lap as a pillow and how she got there is not relevant to the situation. Now, what. Were you. Doing. In my head?” Dante drove his point home on the final sentence by tapping Luna’s nose at every pause. Something she voiced her disdain for my attempting to swat Dante’s hand away. Her resistance attempt stopped when Dante shifted her position in his arms, so her forelegs down.

“I’m not in the mood to play, Luna. I’m serious. What you just did was a serious crime in Imperial territory, a capital crime, in fact. A crime that violated an individual’s bodily sovereignty. I’m willing to chalk it up as a misunderstanding, but in any other situation, I’d be arresting you right now, which is something I’m trying to avoid. Arresting government leaders doesn’t warm me up to the local populace very much.”

Luna raised her snout in the air. “Yet it is not illegal in Equestrian territory.” Dante raised an eyebrow, then his finger.

“Are you trying to claim Imperial property? You do realize we’re on my ship, right, which makes it Imperial jurisdiction.” Luna huffed.

“I was attempting to see your dreams. I sensed some disstress and believed you were having a nightmare. I was trying to help.”

Dante pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “So you’re a dreamwalker… great. How many other ponies are dreamwalkers?”

Luna cocked her head to the side. “I’m the only one with this ability. It’s my special talent… er, I suppose the night is my special talent and sleeping comes along with it. It’s represented by my cutiemark.”

It was Dante’s turn to be confused.

“Luna, what in the ever-loving-fuck is a cutiemark?”

“It’s the mark on our flanks.” Dante titled his head similar to how Luna still had her’s turned.

“What, you mean those ass-tattoos? So what is it, a coming of age ritual once y’all decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your lives? Just walk up to a tattoo shop and say: “Hey, Bob, I want you to tattoo a crescent moon on my ass… yep… yep… I’mma control the night for the rest of my life.”.”

Luna tried to fix the biped with a stare, however given their current position with her back pushed up against his chest, she couldn’t do much.

“Are all of your fellows as crass as you are, General?”

The biped chuckled, as Luna felt something grab her heard. Freezing just wondering what the seemingly insane biped was going to do this time… but the action was not violent. Luna’s eyes widened.

‘Is he… is he scratching my head?’ As much as Luna hated to admit it, it felt amazing as the fingers gently dug in near her ears.

“Stop that.” She hissed, as she struggled to avoid moaning. “What are doing.”

“As it turns out, ponies just like horses back home, have a shit-ton or nerves around their ears.” The biped smirked. “Consider this punishment for mind-raping me.”

Luna disagreed with Dante’s assessments. “I did not rape you!”

“Yeah, ya kinda did. Mind-raping is a thing, and it’s looked down very heavily in the Imperium. I’m willing to forget this incident, however, if you sit there and take your punishment like a good girl.”

Dante paused as he considered his words. “God, listen to me. I’m sounding like a complete and total freak right now. In any case, I’m scratching your head as a punishment. At least until Twilight wakes up.”

“You realize this feels good, right?” Luna questioned his sanity, it did indeed feel wonderful, better then most back massages she had ever received.

“I do, how do you think I got Twilight asleep? But I also know you’re a proud pony and you have no desire to be here, right now, having your head and ears scratched by an alien.”

“You’re an ass.” Luna shot back.

Dante grinned, continuing his scratching. “Now who’s the crass one?” He paused, his eyes looking into the distance in wonder. “Wait… do y’all have talking donkeys in this world? Is “ass” your version of “nigger”… shit… I should probably cut ass out of my vocabulary, shouldn’t I?”

“Shut up and keep scratching, if I’m stuck here until young Twilight wakes up, I might as well be getting some enjoyment out of it.” She figured the relaxing scratches could aid in helping her to forget the horrid memory she had seen in Dante’s mind.

Luna couldn’t see it, but the biped took on am mischievous grin.

“Your wish is my command, your highness.”

Twilight’s eyes opened, and then closed once more. The air around her was cold. Not freezing, but definitely a bit nippy that she could feel under her hair. But she was laying on something that was quite warm.

Twilight struggled to remember what had happened during the night. Before she could remember, however, she glanced up… and was met with a very unexpected sight.

A slumbering Luna, but what was even odder was the fact that Dante had her pulled up against his body while scratching her head.

“Uh… Dante?” She asked.

“Yo.”

“Why are you scratching Princess Luna’s head while she’s asleep, snuggled up against you. And why am I laying on your lap.”

“Long story short, Purple, she mind-raped me and this is her punishment in lieu of arresting her. Also, you managed to hit your head pretty hard on a car, so I started rubbing it while repairing the car. And then one thing led to another and you just kind of fell asleep in my lap.”

Twilight’s jaw opened slightly at Dante’s implication that he would arrest one of the princesses. His hand gave her slight nudge as she realized he was gesturing for her to get up.

She found her hooves as Dante hefted himself and the princess up, the princess not seeming to wake in the slightest.

“Jesus christ, she’s the heaviest sleeper I ever met. She’d have slept through the Changeling invasion if she hadn’t been awake!” Dante exclaimed.

The General shifted Luna’s body so she was being held over one of his shoulders. Her front end draped over Dante’s back and her rump hanging over the front of his torso.

“Come on, let’s get her up to her room so I can take a piss.” Dante began moving to the lift as Twilight followed.

“Uh, Dante, what if she wakes up?” Dante scoffed at Twilight question.

“Twilight, I could literally get into a firefight right now and this lady wouldn’t fucking wake up.” Dante drew one of his many handguns from the holster, pointing it at the floor. “Want me to prove it?”

“Oh! Please, don’t! My ears still hurt from the last time!” Twilight cried, really not wanting to go through another round of what Dante had called tinnitus. The biped merely smirked, slipping the firearm back into its holster.

“Well, alright. Guess our next trip is to Luna’s room!”

“Twilight, where’s Luna’s room?” Dante questioned, the blue alicorn still slung over his back, slumbering peacefully. Twilight saw the sun, so she had figured Celestia had lowered the moon and raised the sun. But there was one other issues, which had Twilight prancing on her hooves ridden with anxiety.

“Oh, Dante this isn’t good. Princess Celestia is probably freaking out about where Princess Luna is!”

“Your Highness,” The guard started, as he watched the Solar Princess sip on tea. “Shouldn’t we be organizing search parties for Princess Luna, her guard reported that she went to check on dreams and never came back.”

Celestia continued to gently sip on her tea, slowly setting the cup down with her magic, seeming to think, her eyes closed. Finally, she spoke.

“No, Luna is a big girl, I can not panic every time she’s a little late. She may just be taking a little bit more time with a particularly nasty nightmare.”

“Yeah… sure. Listen, I’ll explain to Celestia what happened once we get Luna to bed. I still have to kill some dogs, free some slaves and get some fucking silver. I can’t do that with Luna’s fat-ass slung over my back.”

At the insult directed towards her, Luna seemed to snort, though stayed asleep. Twilight, however was taken aback. “Dante, you can’t just insult a princess like that!”

Dante snorted. “And why the fuck not? It’s true, she’s the heaviest chick I’ve ever carried to bed, and I’ve carried some heavy chicks to bed. You ever been in combat barracks. Ninety percent of the chicks there are the weight of an average dude. Beefed up motherfuckers, I’ll tell’ya what! Pretty sure most of them are dopin’ on combat drugs. I mean, I ain’t got any proof, but it’s the only explanation for some of tho-”

“Dante! Stop. Look, we need to get Princess Luna to bed and then make our way to Princess Celestia before she freaks out!” Twilight snapped at Dante, who took on a snooty look.

“Well alright, Miss Bossy, lead the fuckin’ way since you seem to know the way to her room!”

Twilight quickly lost her angry face, as she quickly glanced down and sat on her rump, tapping her hooves together. “Uh… I don’t actually know where her room is.”

Dante began nodding. “Okay… is there any place we can put Sleeping Beauty at?”

Twilight looked up at Dante. “Well… there’s always Princess Celestia’s room.”

Bulwark was not having a good past couple of days. Just a few hours after a changeling invasion, one that he managed to avoid being captured in, a fact that he’s quite proud of, he had been stationed to prevent ponies from entering the castle until it was repaired. Which he did so faithfully.

Until a biped went and impaled himself on Bulwark’s spear. That had been a fun one to explain to the armorer, who thankfully backed down when Bulwark told him to take the issue up with Captain Armor or Princess Celestia. So he had a new spear and Princess Celestia had him stationed to guard her room during the day. After all, the biped had no reason to come to her room and bother him more… Except.

Bulwark’s eyes widened as he noticed the biped walking down the hall with a unicorn he remembered as being Princess Celestia’s student leading him. But the more concerning thing was the rump resting on his chest.

The blue, large-when-compared-to-a-normal-pony’s rump with Princess Luna’s cutiemark present.

“Ay!” The biped yelled, as Bulwark struggled to keep from making an angered face at the biped. “It’s best candidate for killer-eyes!”

Bulwark had learned since his encounter yesterday that this colt was apparently a general, not like he acted like one. Bulwark lowered his spear slightly.

“Sir and ma’am please stop where you are. This is Princess Celestia’s private quarters and I am under orders to not let anyone in without permission from the Princess herself. I must further inquire just what Princess Luna is doing on yo-” Bulwark was cut off as Dante calmly bypassed the spear Bulwark had pointed at him and casually kicked the enchanted, solid wooden doors that were also locked, open as though they were made of paper. Bulwark’s jaw dropped slightly and the biped continued into the room.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s real fuckin’ neato and all, pony, but I have some asshole slavers I need to go slaughter and I can’t do that with lard-ass drooling all over my back so I’m commandeering Celly’s quarters.” The biped set Luna down on the bed in the middle of the room, the alicorn still not rising from her sleep despite the doors having just been kicked open. The Princess of the Night curled up on the bed as Dante covered the slumbering princess with blankets.

The biped looked up from the bed and locked eyes from Bulwark. “That is, of course, unless you want to drag her fat ass to her room, of which I have no fuckin’ clue where it is. And neither does Purple over there. She knew where this room was, so we came to it. But be my guest if you want to try and pick her up.” Dante explained to Bulwark, who merely huffed at the biped’s disrespect to royalty. Was he trying to pick a fight?

Dante walked out of the spacious room, closing the doors he had kicked open behind him. Bulwark wondering just how much time he would spend in the dungeons for murdering a foreign general, until he remembered yesterday’s stunt, where the spear through his throat did nothing to stop him.

“In any case, come on Twi. I still need to drop you off with your mom and let her know I’m planning to go play with some puppies.”

Bulwark watched as the two departed, as he silently questioned the gods just what he had done to anger them. Why did they keep sending the biped to harass him and why did they have to leave a princess solely in his charge?

Celestia sat upon her throne. A crowd had gathered in the Day court, many of them demanding answers regarding Dante. Apparently Luna had promised a speech with more information.

Speaking of Luna, Celestia couldn’t help but wonder just where she had spirited off to. The Princess of the Sun had to lower the moon and raise the sun today. Usually Luna was on time to lower the moon.

“Princess,” One of the nobles spoke, as Celestia already fought boredom off. She enjoyed court more then when it was just a question and answer session. “Do you have a guarantee that the biped is safe?”

Celestia internally rolled her eyes, she had already answered this question multiple times. She summoned up her motherly voice, maybe this time they would get the message.

“I can assure you...” Celestia paused as she considered her words. “I can assure everypony that the General is perfectly safe to be around.” Unlike Luna, Celestia had found fit to release Dante’s rank, in the hopes that it would calm them down a bit. Although, she may have also let slip that he wasn’t from this planet, either.

“Are we being invaded by aliens?” Celestia cringed slightly when she heard the voice. Blue Blood. Not necessarily a bad pony, just ill-adjusted to non-stuck up crowds. But he sounded genuinely terrified.

“No, Prince Blue Blood. We are not being invaded. The General crash-landed here a… little while ago. But according to him, his species will not invade Equestria under any colonial pretense. In fact from his description, this “Imperium of Phoenix” sounds like a very nice government.”

A yellow mare with a blue mane who had identified herself earlier as “Muck-Raker” was the next to speak up. “Princess Celestia, is it true that despite his violence against the Changelings and the running magic battle between him and another unicorn, which witnesses claim he shot the first magical attack, he is being allowed to roam the country freely?”

Celestia’s eyes hardened. “With all due respect, Muck-Raker, the General has informed me the unicorn opened fire on him, and he merely fired back in self-defense and in order to retrieve technology he needs to contact his species.”

She was cut off as a voice shouted from the crowd. “So that unicorn mare is a hero, stopping the alien from being able to contact his mother ship to come and invade!” The ridiculous shout received cheers of support from the crowd, however, a sharp glare from Princess Celestia quickly quieted them down.

“As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted,” The crowd seemed to slouch at the same time, in shame of cutting their princess off. “The General merely wishes to go home and has given me his assurances that his species will not be hostile to Equestria. He has given me no reason to disbelieve him. Furthermore, we are currently in the stages of discussing in liberties in regards to being able to roam Equestria. At the moment, I plan to keep him in Canterlot, both for his safety an-” Celestia was cut off as the doors to the room were kicked open, the biped who she had just been discussing strolling in with Twilight in tow, who was keeping her head down in apparent shame at having just so rudely interrupted Day Court.

Celestia’s eyes widened, realizing that as soon as Dante opened his mouth, he was going to ruin everything she had been trying to keep under wraps.

She watched as the biped strolled with confidence to where the unicorn mare, Muck-Raker, was currently standing, in front of her throne.

He raised his right arm with his hand in a pointed fashion, palm facing down, his left arm securely at his side. Much like a spear being pointed in the air.

With his hand still raised. “Princess Celestia, the captain of the guard asked me to come inform you that Princess Luna is safe and was late to her duties due to aiding me. She is currently resting in an undisclosed location that I will disclose in private. If I may, I would like to request that you end court early today to discuss internal and external matters, Ma’am!” The biped dropped his right arm, the appendage now resting at his right side. Celestia was shocked at the biped’s sudden change in attitude, fully expecting him to crack a bad joke while insulting every single noble and pony in the room.

Maybe she was wrong. Celestia noticed that Twilight was staring at Dante with a shocked face as well.

Before Celestia could say anything, however, Muck-Raker was tugging at the bottom of Dante’s pants, trying to get his attention. Without breaking from his stiff standing position, he responded.

“Yes ma’am.” The unicorn realized she had gotten his attention and levitated her notepad and pen to her face.

“Are you the being Princess Celestia identified as “the General”?” Muck-Raker looked up to her princess, only to realize that she was glaring at her with an unimpressed look on her face.

“Muck-Raker, I’m certain the General would be happy to schedule a proper interview with him. But I am choosing to grant his request. Guards, if you would, please escort our guests to the exit. Court will resume normal time tomorrow.” Dante stayed still as the unicorn mare next to him was herded towards the door by a pegasus guard, with his wings outstretched.

As the petitioners filed out of the room, Celestia fixed eyes with Dante, his showing no emotion.

The last of the ponies filed out the doors, the solid wood slamming shut. Dante visibly relaxing back to his normal self.

“Well that was eventful and all, but your sister’s in your bed because I had no clue where her room is. By the way, y’all should cut down on the cakes, jus’ sayin’.” Celestia rolled her eyes as Dante finished his sentence.

“And here I was enjoying your military decorum, General. And your advice is noted. I must say, though, very impressive way of dealing with the crowd of nobles. I fully believed you were about to insult them and their mothers while making a joke about me.” Dante grinned a very mischievous grin, flashing his teeth at Celestia, the white alicorn making note of the relatively large fangs.

“Oh, trust me princess. I may have been taken off diplomatic envoy protection details for pissing on one too many self-righteous, pretentious, worthless self-aggrandizing, populist, lying, scummy writhing politicians, but I am fully capable of controlling myself when necessary. And this was one of those times.”

The guards remaining in the room kept their eyes on the biped, watching as he moved around the room, seemingly inspecting random objects.

Celestia smiled. “And tell me, General, am I one of these self-righteous, pretentious, worthless self-aggrandizing, populist, lying, scummy writhing politicians that you claim to “piss” on?” Dante chuckled as he heard the normally very formal princess use the word piss, as Twilight’s eyes widened. The young mare never having heard her teacher curse. The guards, once more, managed to keep straight faces, but later that night in the barracks, they would go on to express their surprise at Celestia’s use of the word.

“No. You’re just a naive politician who hasn’t yet seen the horrors of reality.” Dante looked up from whatever he was inspecting, a wide grin plastered on his face. The guards preparing to intervene to herd the biped out of the room should his statement cause Celestia to lose her normal coolness.

It was unneeded. She kept her stoicness as she responded. “And could you please inform me of how I am naive, General?”

“Princess, have I ever told you that I am not a Phoenix… well… not fully. I’m a hybrid. A one in a centillion, or ten to the three-hundred-third power, chance. Effectively, my birth was a physical impossibility. The fact alone that my mother existed with compatible genes for me to be born was as likely as… witnessing the birth of the universe and living long enough to see its death.” Dante paused as he looked at the guards, grabbing a helmet off one of them. The Solar Guard had been informed of the General’s odd quirks, and as such the guard remained still. The field that had made the unicorn guard’s coat white like his fellows shimmered out of existence, revealing a burnt orange unicorn stallion.

Dante flipped the helmet around in his hands a couple of times, before replacing it on the stallion’s head. The field shimmered back into existence, returning the stallion’s coat to the white the Solar Guard was known for. “Huh.” He muttered. “Neat.” The stallion reached up and fixed his slightly askew helmet, nodding to Dante, who nodded back.

The biped turned back around to Princess Celestia. “My species, both of them, are very violent. The Imperium was birthed in bloodshed, baptized in fire and made its position as the universal superpower clear through war. And Humanity has been involved in war and conflict since even before they were Human. Our more apelike ancestors were fighting over territory and resources, which modern man carried on. Both species have certain crimes defined as capital crimes. Princess, you are aware of what a capital crime is, correct?”

Celestia nodded. “It’s one punishable by death. A barbaric practice outlawed tens of centuries ago.”

“Very good. The Imperium defines five crimes as carrying a minimum sentence of death.” Dante raised one finger. “One: Rape. Of any kind. Physical or mental. Which, by the way, talk to your sister about invading the minds of people without their consent.”

Celestia internally groaned, wondering just what her wonderful little sister had done this time. Dante raised another finger. “Two: Cannibalism, with exceptions for exigent circumstances. Although the traditional Human of definition of cannibalism is the consumption of one’s species, Imperial Standard English defines cannibalism as the consumption of any sapient species. I assume it’s similar in Equestria due to the multitude of sapient species.” Celestia nodded.

A third finger was raised. “Three: Murder.” A fourth finger. “Four: Aiding the enemy in an attempt to compromise the liberties, rights, privileges and guarantees of all sapient species.” Dante lowered all fingers in a fist and then raised his trigger finger.

“The fifth and most detested crime in the Imperium is slavery.” Dante looked at the ponies in the room. “When I told you the Imperium was birthed in bloodshed and baptized in fire, I was being literal. The Imperium was formed by a man named Michael Krelnash. He was the bastard son of the King of the country known as Lux. The third son. Hidden away by his father in a village of peasants, his heritage unknown, a shame upon the name of the King. When his biological father was felled in battle, his eldest brother took the kingdom over and welcomed Michael back with open arms. The middle son became jealous over the love shared by Michael and his brother, and the fact that he had inherited nothing. He murdered the eldest in cold blood and enslaved Michael. A man who went from being a peasant, to a noble and then to something less then a peasant. A slave”

Dante turned, as the entire room seemed enraptured in his short retelling of the history of the Imperium of Phoenix.

He continued. “Michael, however, was not going to give up that easily. He made allies, found sympathizers in the noble class and the royal guard. And when the time was right, he led an army of slaves to take over the castle. Killing his brother. He took the crown that was righfully the Eldest’s and led his army North, to a land Lux had failed to settle. There he formed the Imperium. A country where slaves could find refuge in. He led his country through trying times, as his nephews besieged the newly formed Imperium of Phoenix in an attempt to take revenge for their fallen father. The Imperium beat back every invasion attempt, with Michael at the front of the lines. As the dust settled from the war, the Imperium still stood, bleeding and burned, but their spirits unbroken. They had made their stance clear, they would die free men. Lux would not make them slaves once more, because every single Imperial would die on their feet opposing the Luxian army. Lux retreated with their tails between their legs, realizing the price of retaking the Imperium would not be worth it if the citizens would sooner kill themselves then be recaptured. Every day following the Imperium’s victory, slaves would cross the border between Lux and the IoP, seeking refuge. As a result,” Dante tapped his head. “The fact that the Imperium was formed by former slaves means slavery is the single worst crime in the Imperium. And if slavers are found, they very rarely survive long enough to be tried in a court of law.”

Celestia allowed the pause to stand, as she processed the information. She spoke once she understood to the best of her ability.

“The history lesson was interesting, General. But I must question. What was its relevance?”

Dante smiled, once more flashing his teeth at the princess.

“It’s simple princess. There’s some filthy fuckin’ slavers occupying a mine that has supplies I need. So I’m going to go kill three birds with one stone. I’m going to slaughter the slavers, free the captives they are no doubt using as labor forces, and then get the shit I need to make some satellites so I can find my fuckin’ transmitter, kill the bitch who stole it from me, and then get home and make good on a promise I made before I found myself here.”

In order to drive his point home, Dante removed the handgun that he had taken from Twilight from his waistband, retrieved the magazine from his pocket and slammed it into the magwell, he racked the slide and let it fly home, chambering a round.

“And I’m going to absolutely enjoy every second of it.” He stated.

Author's Notes:

Ooh, what's this? Who's this Phoenix guy in Dante's memory? Luna's a rapist!? For shame! And Dante reveals his next step to Celestia. What is she going to say? Who knows?

Again, as always, if you liked and favorited this story, please tell me why. If you disliked this story, please tell me why you disliked it. Thank you very much. I also enjoy criticism as it helps me to improve. So if you do downvote, please leave a comment letting me know why. Be it grammar, spelling, pacing, or you just fucking hate the character!