Phoenix

Chapter 12

“General...” Luna fixed her stare at the biped, who shot her one back. “Could you explain why you’ve commandeered the entirety of the only jail that Ponyville has?”

Dante, having taken his helmet off, raised his nose in the air as he opened the cell door and roughly grabbed the small dog whose ribs he had broken earlier in the day by the scruff of the neck, violently lifting him off the ground a mercilessly tossing him to the ground in the cell. The dog screaming in pain as he landed on his ribs.

“We would appreciate if you’d refrain from torturing prisoners, General.” Luna sighed. “We would also like to know why you commandeered the jail in the Diarchy’s name.”

Dante pushed another dog into the cell by the shoulders. “The reason, my dear Princess Luna, is because I can’t put these assholes into my truck and I assume you’re going to want them in Canterlot to face trial, yeah?” Luna nodded.

“Yeah, so we hold them here until you can get a train here. At which point, troops’ll escort them back to Canterlot. Then I’ll get my silver from the mine and then get back to Canterlot, kill whoever I need to kill and get my larcom back and then be on my way home. It won’t even be a week! I’ll have it done...” Dante paused, his hand still gripping the trembling shoulder of a diamond dog. “Uh… Luna, what day is it? In fact, actually, do you ponies have seven day weeks?”

Luna nodded. “We do, the week starts on Sunday then goes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, restarting at Sunday. It is currently Tuesday.”

Dante stared the blue alicorn blankly. “You’re shitting me?”

Luna, a confused expression now on her face. “No, General, I’m afraid we are not… er, “shitting” you. What is wrong?”

Dante threw his right arm into the air, his left still cradling a slumbering changeling. “What the fuck is it with this world. It’s like someone threw common Human conventions onto y’all and then just gave you a little different alien culture.” Dante lowered his arms. “I could write off a seven day week as coincidence, but you all also have the same names for the damn days!” Dante shook his head, not waiting for a response. “No, know what? Fuck it. Thinking about similarities is not going to get me home any faster. I’ll be out of here by next Wednesday.” Dante roughly shoved the final dog into the cell and slammed the door closed locking it.

“I’d leave Bulwark here with a shotty to guard these stupid dogs, but he’s tired as shit. I’m going to get that LT at the outpost and make him guard them while I go and get that silver I need. Luna, I’d suggest you get word back to Canterlot and let them know about a mass grave one of the doggies in there told me about. Bull thinks it’s Froggy Bottom Bog. I’d advise you get troops out there to start investigating.”

Dante pointed at the bewildered Luna. “And I’d suggest you do that yesterday, if the indication of the local law office is anything to go off of on how quickly the Crown moves.” Dante shifted his pointing to the very obviously tired Bulwark, whose eyes were beginning to droop. “And you. Go get some sleep. There’s an inn somewhere in this town. Don’t know where, but every town’s got some place for travelers to sleep. Go find it and sleep.”

“Corporal, the spa here in Ponyville has rooms, inform them to put the charges on Our tab.” Luna informed the tired unicorn, who at this point was so deprived of sleep he could barely manage a nod.

Dante looked at Luna, a smirk she didn’t like for some reason on his face.

“What?” She questioned.

Dante snorted, his smirk growing. “You use the Royal We. You said “Our” tab. You use the spa here?”

“We do, is there a problem with that, General?” She shot back.

Dante raised his hands defensively. “Oh, no your highness. Whatever floats your boat, I ain’t got a problem, I just didn’t have you pegged as a spa chick.”

Luna huffed, raising her nose in the air. “It is very relaxing, General. Once We’re done cleaning up your mess, We do believe we will stop in for an appointment. You should try it some time, General, it would probably help solve your behavior problems, General.” Luna put as much emphasis as she could on the last general, hoping to get her point across to Dante.

The biped merely snorted. “Fuck off with that General shit. I’m not some stuck up asshole who sends his men to die while he sits safely in the rear sipping on wine and eating a full course meal. If I were to behave like a general, my men would have fragged me the first chance they got. Also, I’ll pass on the spa, thanks.”

It was Luna’s turn to smirk, raising an eyebrow suggestively. “Oh? And why is that? Does the seemingly fearless general have a deep seated fear of spas?”

“No, I just do-” Dante was cut off, as a thump sounded from where Bulwark had been standing, now collapsed. He and Luna stared at the unconscious guard for a few seconds, Dante with a bemused smirk on his face and Luna absolutely bewildered.

This silence was cut off as Dante did a short whistle. “Wew, well… fuck. I guess the silver’s gonna have to wait until I can get Sleeping Beauty over there to a bed… You said there was a spa, Princess?”

Luna shook her head slightly. “Er… yes.”

Dante walked over to the guard, bending down with his right knee supporting his weight on the ground, he wrapped an arm around the unicorn and bodily lifted him up.

“Would you mind leadin’ me to it?”

“General,” Luna began, squinting. “Would you like some help? You’re carrying probably close to a quarter of a ton at the moment.”

“No,” Dante began, gently kicking the door to jail open. “I’ll be fine, just show me where this spa is so I can get Snow White over here to bed.” Dante held the door open with this foot as the lunar princess trotted out of the building.

Before leaving, he looked back in, addressing the cell full of diamond dogs. “And you fuckin’ lot. Behave or I’ll personally come back and kill you all. I’ll send a doc with the guard.

He moved to the follow the alicorn, allowing the door to close behind him.

The pink alicorn slowly opened her eyes, the luxurious bed she was now resting in and sharing with someone else.

She smiled at the sight of her slumbering fiance. The two had taken a few days off to sleep from the fiasco.

But here they were, still sharing a room. Cadance frowned.

‘We should be husband and wife now, not fiances.’

Not that they could help it, of course. After all, she had been kidnapped and their wedding had been crashed by a parasitic empathavoric shapeshifter and her army of parasitic empathavoric shapeshifters and then sort-of saved by an alien.

‘At the very least we’ll have an interesting story to tell our children.’ The pink alicorn giggled as she thought of just how they would explain to a foal how an alien ended up saving Equestria from being overthrown by shapeshifters, without including the gore, of course.

Her giggling woke up her bedmate, as Shining Armor locked eyes with his fiancee.

“Cadance… I am so sorry.” This elicited an eye roll and a groan from the princess of love.

“Shiny, that’s all you’ve been telling me for the past couple of days.” She lightly batted him with her hoof. “It’s not your fault, she had everyone fooled, even Aunty Celestia. If anything, the fact that she was able to get so powerful just from consuming the love you have for me, that says a lot.” She giggled again, smiling.

“Besides, it all worked out in the end and we have a second chance for a wedding.”

Shining Armor sighed, rolling from his side and onto his stomach. “Yeah, I know, it’s just that… well. I’m the captain of the Canterlot division and I wasn’t able to do anything. Even when you and I were combining our magic, it did nothing. Why?”

All Cadance could do was shrug, but Shining Armor continued. “A-a-and then just… in comes this foolish alien general who’s just acting like everything’s a game, he bats the magic that beat Princess Celestia and Luna and us away. The way he moved just made it seem like he considered everything as nothing more then a friendly wrestling match.”

“I don’t know if I would consider that a friendly wrestling match, Shiny.” Cadance replied, Shining Armor merely nodded his head.

“No, I know. But the way he was moving just isn’t how somepony moves when they’re being swarmed by a bunch of fanged shapeshifters. At no point during the entire fight was he in fear of his life. He was just tossing changelings around like they were dolls. I don’t know, Cadance, something about him is just… weird. And creepy.”

Cadance frowned, as she too rolled over onto her stomach, stretching her wings out. “Well… your feelings complicate things a bit.” She yawned, as Shining Armor looked over to her confused.

“How so?”

“I’m inviting him to the wedding.” Shining Armor groaned at her declaration.

“Cadance, he threatened you and Princess Luna with death. Why would you invite him!”

Cadance smacked her lips, yawning once more. “Because if it wasn’t for him, we’d be changeling food right now. He was the hero that day and we owe a lot to him. And in his defense, he only did that after Aunty Luna threatened him.”

Unseen to her, the unicorn stallion rolled his eyes. Cadance put a leg around his neck and hugged him.

“And besides, think about it. We’ll be the first ponies to have an alien at our wedding!”

“The nobles won’t be happy about it.” Shining Armor stated calmly, his gaze straight.

“Well when the nobles are the ones getting married, they can choose to not invite him to their weddings. But as is, I want him to feel welcome here.”

Shining Armor rolled his eyes, but scooted in closer to the hug.

“You’re a weird pony, Cadance.”

“That’s why you married me, Shiny.”

“Thanks for watching after him!” Dante called behind his back as the door slid closed behind him, Luna standing in front of him and to the side of the door. He glanced down at the changeling still in his arms and still asleep.

“Jesus christ, this bug sleeps like a fucking rock. You could probably drop a nuke right on top of us and it wouldn’t wake up.”

Luna trotted alongside Dante as the began their way back into Ponyville proper.

“You never answered Our question, General.” Luna nodded to a pony who had bowed to her.

“About what?”

“About you not wanting to utilize the spa.” Luna nodded to several more ponies who had kneeled to her.

Dante shrugged. “I just don’t like people fucking around with or in the general vicinity of my back.”

“Bad experience?” Luna looked to Dante.

Dante frowned, chewing his lip. “You could say I’ve taken a few… a lot of knives in it, before.”

“Is that why you’re so distant?”

“Huh?”

“Well this entire time you’ve only been focusing on one thing, that is getting home by getting your radio. And while We can understand the desire to see home once more, We would have imagined first contact with an alien species is a serious thing. Even to you. And you give the air of transparency, but everything you’ve told us does nothing to give us an idea of your weaknesses. What We’re trying to say, General.”

Luna trotted in front of Dante, stopped and turned to look at him.

“You’re refusing to get close to us. The closest one to you right now is Miss Sparkle, and even she does not know much about you.”

Dante snorted as he side-stepped the princess. “There’s lot’s of reasons why I’m keeping myself distant from you. More for your own sake then mine...”

Dante stopped, glancing over his shoulder to Luna. “Princess, there’s a cold hard fact about my life that I’ve had to come to accept. People I get close to die. The ones who don’t die, suffer. Where I walk, death follows. Where I go, tragedy strikes. My country considers me a hero because I’ve prevented more deaths than would have been lost had I not intervened. But had I not went there in the first place, the tragedies that caused the deaths wouldn’t have occurred.”

Dante began walking once more. “Basically, Princess, I’m trying to get home before Death realizes I’m missing and comes looking for me, killing innocent people in the process.”

Dante threw his right hand up. “Also, because it’s been like two days. Even if my life didn’t read like some bad teenage romance tragedy story, I literally just met you fuckers in the middle of an attempted coup.”

Luna shook her head as she followed the biped.

“Agh! This sucks!” Spitfire carefully rolled over in her bed as Soarin sniggered from his bed, continuing to read his book.

“Well… ‘Enterprise”, you should have bugged out from Hollow Shades sooner. Then you wouldn’t be stuck in bed.”

Spitfire shot Soarin a sour look. “Watch it “brother”. How was I supposed to know those crazy night cultists were going to switch that suddenly? They behaved exactly how those sun cultists did, but the sun cultists had the bucking decency to not throw spears at me!”

“The moonies have always been way more aggressive then the circles. It’s why we haven’t been able to broker a peace between them yet. The circles agree to sit down with us and the moonies, but damned if the moonies are going to listen to a circle.”

Spitfire rested her head on forelegs. “Yeah, I guess. Just kind of disappointed I couldn’t help any more.”

Soarin looked up from his book. “By the way, Cap. Been meaning to ask, just how did you get involved with the Forgotten God to begin with? Our numbers are already pretty damn small, pretty convenient two of us ended up in the Wonderbolts without any intervention from Oakley.”

Spitfire rubbed her eyes, as she yawned. “My parents were in the Church. I was raised hearing stories about Dawn-Bringer uniting the Three Tribes by defeating the Wendigo and giving Equestria the Two Daughters to lead us. I held on strong onto the message of unity, but didn’t put much faith into Dawn-Bringer.” Spitfire nodded to no one in particular.

Soarin flipped the page on his book as he continued reading it. “So, you didn’t believe in Dawn-Bringer but you believed in his message. Surely, though, if you didn’t actually believe in the Forgotten God, then you wouldn’t have stayed with the Church.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have. Until I was fourteen.”

Soarin paused from his reading, looking up. “What happened when you were fourteen?”

Spitfire smiled. “I saw. Atleast… one of his avatars.”

“Ah.” Soarin clicked his tongue. “I see, you’re one of the ones he chose. It would explain why Oakley raised you through the ranks so quickly.”

Spitfire shook her head. “Speaking of Oakley, shouldn’t we have informed him about Dawn-Bringer?”

“I’d love to, Cap.” Soarin flipped the page on his book. “But we’re still on standby, remember? Can’t leave Canterlot.”

Spitfire groaned. “I completely forgot about that on account of my...” She gave a gentle shrug of her injured wing. “Not like I can go anywhere fast.”

Soarin continued reading the book. “I called Sherman, he’s supposed to be here pretty soon for a debrief.”

A knock sounded from the door, pulling Soarin’s attention to it. “Speak of the Wendigo...”

4292 groaned, screwing her eyes even tighter. Her head was pounding and she could feel a pressure running along the entirety of her lower body and her right side.

But she had to admit the warmth of whatever it was she was leaned against was comforting.

‘Wait.’

She could feel jostling. She wasn’t leaning against something, something was carrying her!

Her memory flashed back to the cave.

‘That’s right...’

Full of hesitation and fear, 4292 snaked her tongue out to taste the air.

And nearly gagged. Her eyes shot open, as she unfurled her wings pushing off whatever it was that was holding her.

“Agh! Fuck!” She heard shouting from behind her as she took to the skies to get away from it. The trees surrounding her whistling with the speed she had taken off at. Getting as far as she could from the thing as fast as she could.

Or at least that was the plan, until her wings suddenly decided to stop working a few dozen feet in the air, causing the changeling to come crashing back down to the ground.

Quite hard, in fact. She began writhing in pain on the ground as she felt severe and sharp pains shooting through her sides, yelps and screams escaping her mouth.

She could hear thuds pounding the ground as the thing ran to her, her writhing only became stronger as the biped slid to a stop in front of her, kicking up dust, kneeling on the ground and bending over her.

“Whoawhoawhoa, shh,shh,shh.” Dante vocalized as he gently wrapped his hands around the panicking changeling, being mindful to avoid touching the fragile looking wings.

“Hey, shh, shh, shh, I’m not gonna hurt ya buddy, calm down, shh.” Realizing that all he could really do was let the panicking changeling wear itself out, that’s exactly what the Human did.

And so the two sat there like that for several minutes, Dante gently holding the equinoid down, and the equinoid squirming on the ground.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity for the both of them, the writhing stopped, replaced with heavy labored breathing.

Dante looked up, scanning the area. The dirt path they were on seemed to be fairly untraveled. And the trees on both sides could easily contain things dangerous to the changeling.

‘There’s nothing out there. What is it so terrified of?’ Dante thought, as his sensors failed to pick up any life forms.

He looked down to the heavily breathing changeling. He had to admit, despite the fact that their eyes were nothing more solid blue orbs, they were surprisingly expressive. The changeling locked eyes with him, as the orbs themselves seemed to shrink, causing Dante to realize the truth.

‘Ah. It’s scared of me. I suppose that makes sense.’

“Hey, listen buddy, I’m not going to hurt you.” Dante said, lowering his tone. Still the changeling still drew deep breaths, heavy and fast.

Dante rolled his eyes. “Listen buddy, let me inject some logic into this miscommunication. If I wanted you dead, I’ve had nearly three hours to kill you. If I wanted you dead, I could do it right now, okay?”

Dante allowed the words to sink in, as the changeling seemed to calm down, the reality of the situation sinking in.

“Okay, I don’t want you dead. I ain’t trying to kill you or hurt you. So trust me, alright?” The changeling seemed to pause, considering its options then lightly nodded its head.

“Okay, progress. Now, I’m going to let you go. Please do us all a favor and don’t get up too quickly. I really don’t feel like dealing with you freaking out, understand?” The changeling nodded its head once more.

“Alright, now I’m letting you go.” True to his word, Dante released his grip, slowly moving his free hands back away from the changeling. He scooted back on his knees, to give the equinoid some breathing room.

The changeling slowly lifted its head, taking in the environment it was in. And then attempted to find its hooves.

“Whoawhoa.” Dante moved a little closer, causing the changeling to startle. “Slow. You just fell and then wore yourself out. Get up slowly.” The biped watched as the changeling shkily stood, its legs trembling.

When he was satisfied the creature wasn’t going to collapse and could hold its own weight, Dante held out an open hand.

“My name’s Dante, what’s yours?” The changeling eyed the hand suspiciously, rejecting it.

“S-Four-Two-Nine-Two.” Her voice coming out similar to the voice of the mares Dante had already met, leading him to believe she was female.

“S-Four-Two-Nine-Two. That’s a mouthful. What’s the “S” stand for? An occupation denoter?” The changeling nodded.

“S-soldier.” Dante nodded at the 4292’s confirmation.

“Soldier?” The biped cocked his head to the side. “So, you were involved in the incident at Canterlot?”

4292 nodded once more.

“That would explain a few things. How did you…” Dante gestured to her with his hand, whirling his trigger finger. “You know, end up in this situation.”

“I-I got separated from the Hive.”

“Ah, so you’re MIA at the moment?”

“MIA?”

“Yeah, it’s a designation my military uses as a status. MIA means missing in action.”

The changeling sat up a little higher. “Your military? So you’re a soldier as well?”

Dante chuckled. “Well… not exactly a soldier, I’m a Legionnaire.”

The changeling seemed a bit more interested now.

‘I may have found my hook.’

“A legionnaire? What does that mean?”

“From my understanding, the word “legionnaire” in Equestrian is just a garble of letters that have no meaning to them. But what it means is that I’m the best of the best. My people depend on me to do the impossible, to succeed in the face of overwhelming odds. That even when the entire universe stands against me, I will stand. The name Legion means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. But its actual meaning is a lot more boring.”

Dante stood to his full height, as 4292 was finally able to find her footing.

“You’re not a prisoner, Four-Two-Nine-Two.” Dante stated. “You can leave whenever you want. Or you can come with me. I don’t really care.” The biped started walking on the dirt path once, the exhausted changeling shakily trotting to his side.

“Wait, what do you mean?” 4393 asked, her head cocking to the side. “I mean after all that you did during the Wedding and you’re just going to let me go, like that?”

Dante shrugged. “I’ve got no hard feelings against you guys and you haven’t given me a reason to kill you. I’ve got no reason to hurt you and you’re not at war with the Imperium at the moment.”

Dante looked down to the roughed up and dirty changeling.

“So you got two choices, Fortnite. Come with me or go back to your queen.”

Luna began her final approach to Canterlot, and more specifically the castle. Even more specifically, the lunar diarch had her eyes set upon the throne room.

She reached the window she had left from just a few hours ago and magicked it open. Entering into a thankfully empty throne room.

Well… mostly empty.

“Good afternoon, Sister.” Celestia sipped her tea as she spoke, causing Luna to groan and roll her eyes.

“We are not in the mood, Sister. We need to gather troops and lead them back to Ponyville.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “And why is that, dear Sister?”

Luna began walking to the door of the throne room. “The General apprehended the Diamond Dog pack and believes he may have discovered a grave in Froggy Bottom Bog. We are going to rally our Night Guard and secure the site. We also need to dispatch a few troops to escort the Diamond Dogs back to Canterlot for trial.”

“Ah, yes,” Celestia began, her voice dropping. “The Diamond Dogs. May I inquire. The casualties?”

“Surprisingly not as bad as one might have assumed from the start, Sister.” Luna brought her hoof to her chin. “Certainly, We were shocked when We discovered the General had managed to refrain from slaughtering the entire pack and instead assisted Corporal Bulwark in arresting them. According to the Corporal, in total only two Diamond Dogs were killed and four were arrested.”

Celestia nodded. “He’s already showing improvements.” Her response elicited a snort from her sister.

“Sister, with all due respect, We do not believe the General allowed the Diamond Dogs to live on the basis that it was the right thing to do, as you seem to believe. We believe the more likely explanation is merely that the General is playing nice, how do they say it now? Hmm… getting “brownie points”, I believe is the phrase, with us.”

“And what do you believe the right thing to do was?” Celestia asked, causing Luna to turn back to the door and begin walking out.

“We believe the right thing to do was whatever ended in the best outcome, Sister. Whether or not the good General did the right thing is yet to be seen.”

Celestia could only nod as the Lunar princess disappeared.

“Uh, Rares, are ya sure this is a good idea?” Applejack asked the white unicorn mare, who was preoccupied drawing various schematics. The farm pony fiddled with a fabric roll on a table, as she glanced around the building.

Rarity had gotten her early in the morning, requesting her help in the Carousel Boutique.

“Oh, of course, Applejack. You and General Jaeger share a similar design aesthetic! So I want you on as my advisor.” Applejack tipped her hat up.

“Ah am nothin’ like him!”

Rarity rolled her eyes as she continued to sketch something out.

“An’ in any case, why are ya so interested in making’em clothin’?”

Rarity gasped, quickly turning around to stare at the farm pony. “Applejack. I would be a fool if I did not seize this opportunity! General Jaeger is an honest to goodness alien and I was present for first contact, however overly-violent it may have been. But imagine it, me! Making the alien representative to this planet clothing! And if he loves it, he’ll then spread it to his people when he finally gets home!”

“Repersenuhtive? Rares, ah thought he was stranded here.” Rarity paused, gathering her thoughts.

“… Regardless of whether or not the good General is stranded here, it is quite obvious that he wears clothes all the time. Meaning he will soon need some new ones. That’s assuming the clothes we last saw him in were created for use in his armed forces, which would make me assume they’re more durable then normal fabric.” Rarity’s eyes lit up as she came to a realization, and she began prancing. “Ooh! They’re most likely made of an alien fabric! Applejack, do you think General Jaeger would allow me to inspect some of his clothes! I could start a fashion revolution!”

It was Applejack’s turn to roll her eyes.

“An’ what did’ya mean by by me’n’ him sharin’ a design?”

Rarity stopped prancing, composing herself. She coughed into a hoof. “Simple, dear. Both you and General Jaeger seem to prefer simple and practical. You enjoy it because what you normally do, that is farm work, will destroy most things in short order. I assume General Jaeger enjoys it due to his… predilection for extreme violence. I can not imagine gore is easy to get out of even alien fabric, I imagine back home he threw clothes out on a fairly regular basis if the fighting we saw at the wedding is normal for him.”

Applejack groaned. “Ah for one hope that was out of the ordinary for him. Ah’d rather not have have some equicidal alien rampagin’ ‘round ‘Questria.”

Rarity levitated some fabric rolls as she began examining them. “The pants that General Jaeger was wearing during the… er… incident with Princess Luna and Princess Cadance were a fabric I certainly have never seen. Although they looked quite durable… if not... a tad simple.”

“So you’re still dead set on makin’ him some clothes?” Rarity tsked at the farm pony’s question.

“Of course, dear. But I will need his permission before I can do so. I can’t very well make him clothes if I don’t have his measurements.” Rarity continued doing whatever it was that she was doing before. Looking at fabric rolls.

For the second time in just a few minutes, Applejack rolled her eyes again.

“Well if ya wan’ his measurements, ya gotta find him first. Come on, let’s get goin’ ‘fore he hightails it back’uh Canterlot.”

A pink pony with an exceptionally curly mane had commandeered the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner, while she pranced every which way and about, finding ingredients and mixing them. A Human wearing a simple set of clothes sat in the corner, reading a book. His skin was very dark, approaching the shade of charcoal, his hair buzzed down to almost nothingness.

He lowered his book and looked at his friend, who seemed to be bouncing off the walls. Her excited energy hadn’t phased him for a long time.

“You know, Pinkie, Dante isn’t going to enjoy a surprise party. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of what he would enjoy.” He stated calmly.

“What are you talking about, Keith!” Pinkie momentarily stopped in mid-air, staring at his friend. The black man sighed, but smiled.

“What I’m saying is that maybe jumping out at a combat veteran isn’t exactly the smartest idea and I don’t think said combat veteran is going to be very appreciative of a surprise. We aren’t exactly the friendliest of people when it comes to loud noises and people jumping out at us.”

Pinkie Pie now found herself on the ground, looking wide-eyed at her friend. “But Keith! Everypony enjoys surprises! Think about it! You’re having a bad day, you’re not happy and then POW! WHAM! Welcome to Equestria and thanks for saving us from an evil queen!” She sat back on her haunches, waving her front legs in the air.

Keith sighed once more. “And while that would be good for you ponies, for people like Dante and me, loud noises and fast movement equals death or extreme pain incoming. I’ve explained it to you before, Pinkie. Where we come from, most of us are trained to immediately react. I don’t think Dante would do anything that could hurt you or any other person, but I’d rather you not take the risk. Besides, Dante was never one for big and noisy parties to begin with.”

Pinkie Pie’s mane seemed to deflate a little, as Keith realized what was happening. “But big and noisy parties are what I do.” The black man could see tears beginning to well up in the corners of his friend’s eyes. He groaned.

“No, Pinkie. I’m not saying you can’t have a party for Dante. All I’m saying is he’d appreciate a calm, very small celebration more then he would one with a giant gathering. Like… invite him to Sugarcube Corner, go about business as usual, don’t hide and then give him the cake. He has a sweet-tooth, but he doesn’t enjoy surprises.”

Pinkie Pie became full on bawling at the last sentence, her mane fully deflating “Why doesn’t he like surprises! What cruel world made him hate surprises! That’s horrific.”

Keith stood up and lifted his foot out of the now standing water in the kitchen, examining his wet shoe.

“Jesus Christ, Ponk, you’re like Deadpool having a significantly less violent daughter with a horse. Listen, that’s just how things ended up. Spilling tears about the past isn’t going to change anything and all you can do is adapt. I know you can make a party Dante will enjoy, you just need to tone it down… a little.”

The crying stopped as Pinkie looked expectantly at Keith. “… A lot. Just… don’t make it super loud. He will legitimately enjoy free sweets with a quiet thank you more then he would the entire town showing up and jumping out at him. I know you can do it, Ponk.”

The pink baker sniffled and then wiped her eyes with her forelegs. “Quiet party, got it. Thanks, Keith, you always know what to say.” Her mane slowly began to reinflate as the man smiled at her.

“Anytime, Ponk.”

Mrs. Cake walked into her kitchen, her dark pink mane springing, stepping directly into the standing water. She looked at the ground and raised her soaking wet hoof.

“Uh, Pinkie… uh… is everything alright in here? Who were you talking to?” She forced a smile, as she quietly examined the destruction of her kitchen.

Pinkie Pie, who was now back to her normal self reared on her hind hooves. “Oh, yeah, Mrs. Cake! I was just trying to figure out the best way to have a Welcome to Equestria and Thank You for Saving Us from an Evil Queen party for Dante and Keith,” Pinkie gestured to the man. “Was helping me figure it out!”

Mrs. Cake stared at the spot Pinkie Pie had gestured to, seeing absolutely nothing. “Pinkie… there’s... nopony there.”

“She can’t see me, Ponk. Remember? I’m a mental construct of yours, you’re the only one who can see me.” Keith stated to his pink friend.

“Nonsense!” Pinkie protested. “Keith is right here! See!” Pinkie jumped into his arms, the man deftly catching her.

“See!” She looked to Mrs. Cake as she now floated in mid-air seemingly nothing holding her up. “If Keith wasn’t here then how could I do this!”

“You know she’s just going to chalk this up to you being Pinkie Pie, right, Ponk?”

“Well… I suppose I can’t argue with that logic.” Mrs Cake stated.

“She isn’t going to say it to your face, Ponk. But right now she’s denying your logic on the basis that you do weirder things on a daily basis without my help.”

“Could you and… Keith clean up the kitchen before this water causes damage to the floor?” Mrs. Cake requested, as Pinkie gasped.

“I’m sorry for the mess, Mrs. Cake, I’ll get on it right now!”

The blue pony just stared at the high energy pony as she began the process of getting the water out of the kitchen.

“So… uh… what are we doing back down here?” The changeling, 4292, now nicknamed Fortnite by the enigmatic alien who had proven himself to be less fearsome then she had originally believed peeked around a corner.

“I am looking for silver, my dear Fortnite.” The changeling in questioned scrunched her snout up, as Dante casually strolled around the corner of the now abandoned Diamond Dog mine, courtesy of him.

“Not that I’m complaining, but why do you keep calling me Fortnite?” Dante grunted.

“Can’t be bothered to sound out Four-Two-Nine-Two everytime I want to address you.”

Normally, the confined space would bring a bit of comfort to the changeling, it was after all, very similar to the hive she was used to. But just knowing it used to be a Diamond Dog den, one she was imprisoned in no less, just disturbed her.

Fortnite snaked her tongue out, tasting the air.

‘Yep, still that disgusting taste hanging around. And it’s coming from him.’ She glanced over to the kneeling biped, who was running his hands over a rocky wall. He hadn’t shown any hints of anger or hatred towards her, but she could taste it coming off him. So much it seemed to replace the very air she was breathing.

“So, changelings are sexually dimorphic?” The sudden question from the kneeling biped threw her off

“W-what?” Fortnite replied with her own question.

“Sexually dimorphic. It means males are different from females.”

“Where did this come from?”

“Well… your voice sounds similar to the native females I’ve met in tone and pitch. So are your females and males different? Or all y’all like… asexual and you just change sex depending on context.”

Fortnite shook her head, the biped’s back to her. She pushed a little magic to her throat, modifying her voice box. She spoke, perfectly imitating the biped’s voice in tone and pitch.

“It’s a bit more complicated then that. Queen Chrysalis is the only changeling who is biologically naturally female. Everyone else is born with both, but we’re able to change at will. As we get older, we usually end up with a preference. Most changelings choose female due to the Queen’s influence, but we have a number of males, as well. Physically speaking, however, male and female changelings look exactly the same with the exception of our dominant sexual organs, Queen Chrysalis withstanding.”

Dante had turned his head, watching as his voice came out of the small equinoid’s mouth.

“That’s a very interesting trick.” Venus spoke, her voice coming through speakers built into the biped’s armor, as Fortnite took a step back, surprised by the sudden disembodied voice. “Very few true shape-shifters exist out there, Dante. Depending on the extent of these Changeling’s ability to shapeshift, they could prove a very important asset to the Imperium.”

“Aye. Fortnite?”

“Y-yes?” The changeling took a small step forward and dropping Dante’s voice that she had imitated.

“What can you change into?”

“Me?” She pointed to herself with a hoof.

“Well…” Dante seemed to stop and ponder for a second. “Yes, specifically you. But are there any limitations on what you can turn into?”

“Well… uh… the biggest I was ever able to change into was an alicorn. That was on a bet and I would have been punished had an infiltrator caught me, but I only did it for a few seconds. Some of the more experienced changelings who have a knack for shifting seem to be able to change into anything. I know of one soldier who’s capable of turning into a large wasp-like monster. And some of the infiltrators can turn themselves into inanimate objects, like rocks.”

“So it would seem as though it’s entirely possible for them to copy someone else’s form, even if it’s a Humanoid form instead.” Venus spoke once more.

“Who is that?” Fortnite asked.

“Her name’s Venus, she’s a friend. And yeah, the intelligence agencies would shit their pants over an intelligent, not inherently hostile shape-shifting species…” Dante paused as he seemed to ponder something. “Maybe… we shouldn’t let the spooks know about them.”

Hoping to change the subject, Fortnite spoke. “So… why are we back here again?”

“I’m looking for silver, so I can make a satellite.”

“Satellite?” Fortnite asked, curiosity genuine in her voice.

“Yeah, it’s something you launch into space and it orbits the planet. I need to launch a couple. It will allow me to map the planet. From there I’ll be able to get a lock on my position. Then I’ll scan for my transmitter and retrieve it from whoever has it, contact my people and go home.”

“You’re… not from here?”

“Nope.” Dante responded, and Fortnite swore for a second she could taste a hint of sadness in the air, which seemed to disappear as quickly as it had appeared.

“So… if you’re not from Equestria, where are you from? We’ve never seen or heard of your species before. The closest thing you look like are the great apes of the Zebrican plains, but you still don’t look exactly like them, just passing similarities.”

Dante groaned, lightly tapping his head against the rocky wall. “Venus, “ja’hear that? They have great apes in the Zebrican plains…”

“Another coincidence noted. We will have Phoenix Rising investigate these when we get a hold of the Imperium.”

“I’m… sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“No, Fortnite, you did nothing wrong.” Dante lifted his head from the rock, standing up. “To answer your question, I’m an alien. I come from a planet far, far away. A planet called Earth. I’m a Human… hybrid. My species originated in a place called Africa, also from the great apes. I have no idea what in the ever-loving hell is going on with all these coincidences between my world and this planet.”

Dante groaned, rubbing his face. Sighing, he let his hands fall to his side.

“There’s a silver vein just a little ways further into the cave. Come on, let’s go get it so I can go home.” Dante gestured with his hand as he began walking further into the cave. Fortnite taking the time to snake her tongue out once more, taking in the taste of anger and… fatigue?

Fortnite shook her head, still not understanding the enigmatic alien. After all, for all she knew what’s anger to her could be utter joy to him. She trotted to catch up to him, keeping pace at the general’s right side.

“Sherman.” Soarin nodded, his eyes never leaving his book, as Spitfire opened the door and let their guest in. Giving one final cursory glance out to make sure no one had followed Sherman, she quickly but quietly closed the door.

The white coated, blue-maned unicorn tipped his hat to Soarin. “Evening, Brother Browning,” He turned to Spitfire nodding to her as well. “Sister Enteprise.” Spitfire returned the nod, as Sherman took his hat off, resting it on a bedpost, he magicked a plain briefcase into the room with him.

“How goes it in the Parliament, Fancy?” Soarin questioned as the noble stallion known as Fancy Pants magicked a chair from the solitary desk located in the room. He hopped up and took a seat, groaning, as Spitfire herself returned to her bed and laid down. The unicorn smoothed out his black suit-coat.

“Absolutely horrid. It’s not even been two days and we’ve already had nearly a hundred act proposals in regards to Dawn-Bringer. Some ranging from absolutely moronic to outright insane. Some ‘nobles’,” Fancy Pants added as much venom as he could muster for the word as he spat it out. “Have introduced acts to ‘blast him with the Elements to insure he isn’t a threat’ or some other silly idea. Thankfully, none of them have passed. Brother Abrams has been running damage control and has managed to get all of the acts vetoed.”

“The Church really lucked out with Abrams, didn’t they? Still have no idea who he is, but he seems pretty high-up.” Soarin muttered from behind his book. Fancy Pants nodded.

“Indeed. He has been a gift from Dawn-Bringer himself.”

“Do you know who he is, Fancy?” Spitfire grumbled, her head buried into her mattress.

“I do.” He confirmed, nodding.

Soarin looked up from his book, as Spitfire also joined him in staring at the unicorn stallion.

“… Well...” Soarin began. Fancy Pants smiled.

“Yes, Browning?”

“Are ya going to… you know, tell us?” Soarin questioned, Spitfire nodded in agreement.

Abrams was an enigma in the church. While many members chose to keep their identities a secret, or rather just eschewed their real names when in the presence of other church members, there was no taboo against telling another church member who someone really is.

Except, apparently, Abrams. As far as both Spitfire and Soarin could tell, there were only three ponies who were aware of Abrams’ true identity. Oakley, Fancy Pants and Abrams himself. No one would dare ask Oakley, and they didn’t have a single idea who Abrams was beyond being a high-ranking Canterlot noble. So the only pony left who could shed some light on his identity was Fancy Pants, the stallion sitting right in front of the two.

The smile on Fancy’s face only grew wider. “I’d love to. Unfortunately, per Oakley’s direct orders, I can not release Abrams’ identity. He is our proverbial ‘ace up our sleeve.’”

Soarin scoffed. “Great, still no idea who he is.” The blue pegasus turned his head to his orange friend. “Twenty bits says it’s Blueblood.”

There was a pause in the room, as an awkward silence reigned.

But just as quickly as the room had gone silent, it exploded into uncontrollable laughter from the three ponies there.

“Are you serious, Soarin? Blueblood? Abrams? Please, Blueblood can’t even deal with Lady Rarity and you’re trying to tell me he’s one of the most important members of the Church?” Spitfire choked out between laughs. “Ow, buck, my wing!”

Fancy Pants couldn’t help but join in, throwing his nose into the air and giving the best impression he could of Blueblood. “Why yes your Majesty, I shall defend you with my li-” Fancy Pants let out an uncharacteristically high pitched shriek as he dramatically pointed at an imaginary spot on the ground and began trembling. “Is that a speck of dirt!”

With his mocking of Blueblood, the two pegasi in the room once more found themselves uproariously cheering.

The laughter soon died down as, the three ponies were left with chests heaving and gasping for breath. Fancy Pants wiped tears from his eyes as he composed himself, smoothing his coat.

He cleared his throat as his companions finished up their laughing attack. “In any case, though it may seem odd, Blueblood is indirectly responsible for aiding Abrams in stopping the acts.”

Spitfire massaged her injured wing as she looked at Fancy with a curious look. “How so?”

Fancy adjusted his monocle. “As you know, since Prince Blueblood is second in line for the throne, that is starting from the Two Daughters and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, he has veto powers as Supervisor of the Parliament. Although the Church fully recognizes the eternity of the Two Daughters, the Diarchy itself does not. Blueblood is merely a contingency based on the belief that there is something out there capable of killing the Two Daughters. His position is based on an inherently wrong idea, but it does afford him a large degree of power as Heir Apparent, only reigned in by his Aunt’s authority. And he absolutely refuses to have his name attached to any act that he believes may anger Dawn-Bringer. He is absolutely terrified of the Father. And as such, he has been vetoing any act that would adversely affect Dawn-Bringer.”

Soarin raised a hoof. “Two questions I’ve been meaning to ask you. A. How is that snob even related to the Two Daughters? And B. If Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are the Two Daughters due to their positions as alicorns, what does the Church recognize Princess Cadenza as?”

Fancy smiled. “Prince Blueblood is related to the Two Daughters by virtue of a very far line tracing back to their biological father’s sister’s side.” Fancy rubbed his chin with a hoof. “And indeed, news of Princess Cadenza’s transformation into an alicorn caused a massive controversy in the Church years back. The official stance is that she’s the first of the Ascended.”

Soarin looked to Spitfire, shrugging. “Well, I guess the old line of the idea of ascension being metaphorical is a load of crap.”

Fancy nodded. “Indeed. And since Dawn-Bringer has returned, the time is coming closer.”

Spitfire groaned, rolling on her back and allowing her head to hang off the side of the bed. “Ugh, you all were calling ascension metaphorical a few years back, did you all ever consider the idea of Dawn-Bringer bringing about the judgement of the Righteous and the Wicked metaphorical as well? Like, maybe, ponies will stop caring about whether or not the pony next to them has wings or a horn or nothing at all. Why does it have to be all ‘ooh! Doom and gloom! Dawn-Bringer will battle the forces of darkness. The final battle will be fought and we will either die or we will ascend’”.

Fancy chuckled as he magicked the briefcase onto the desk and laid it down. “The dogma of the Final Battle has existed since the beginning of the Church and Oakley is absolutely going to stick to it. I damn near had to trudge through Tartarus to get him to recognize Princess Cadenza’s ascension”

Fancy opened the briefcase with his back turned to the two pegasi, as the two craned their necks in an attempt to see into it.

“Now! Enough, as you said dear Enterprise, doom and gloom and onto something slightly less doomy and gloomy but just as depressing!” Fancy removed two dossiers from the briefcase, tossing them to the pegasi, who deftly caught them.

“Abrams assembled a list of ponies who seem to be absolutely opposed to Dawn-Bringer.” He fixed the two with a stern look. “Remember, these ponies are your enemies. Many of them also belong to the Sun and the Moon. Oakley has not approved out-right assassination of them, but should the opportunity arise for them to perish in a… ‘tragic accident’, without incrimination of either of you, then the Church absolutely would appreciate should you facilitate this accident.”

Soarin nodded. “So, kill them if the opportunity arises, just make it look like an accident and only if it won’t expose us as Forgottens.”

Fancy nodded once more. “Yes, direct assassination would bring far too much attention to the Church. We might wield more political power then the circles or the moonies, but they outnumber us. By a very, very, very large margin. We can not afford to pick a fight with them.”

Fancy Pants removed himself from the seat, clearing his throat and smoothing out his coat once more. He picked the briefcase up in his magic and began trotting to the door.

He turned his head to look at the two pegasi. “I’m off to inform the rest of the Forgottens who are in Canterlot about these developments.” Fancy nodded to the door. “I will see what I can do about lifting your standby orders, I have a few generals who owe me some favors.”

The two pegasi watched as the unicorn opened the door, trotted through the doorway and then gently and quietly closed the door.

The gray pegasus mare did one last look through her satchel, ensuring she had every piece of mail for her route.

Nodding once, she smiled, satisfied that she did have everything. She stretched her wings, minding the metal framework concealed in her feathers. The grey metal, thin and sharpened to razor edges rested on her wings. She had never been a fan of the wing-blades, but they concealed far easier than those hoof-claws or faux-unicorn horns that had been used to impale for centuries. Those were more for direct combat and not work that required subtlety.

Like confirming whether or not the biped who is now walking around the town is indeed a god or an impostor. The mare known as Barrett, took one last glance around the post office before walking out of the building. She scanned to her right, then to her left and then back to the right.

Most ponies didn’t notice her awareness and observing of ponies, one of the advantages of having strabismus, though it could cause her to see double. Something she had learned at an early age to compensate for.

Of course, she had to keep her act up as a ditzy mare incapable of doing something without breaking things. Makes her much less threatening, which in turn makes her a better saboteur. Admittedly she may overdo it sometimes, but it helped her keep the act up.

And, if she was going to be honest, some of the damage she could cause wasn’t intentional at all.

But for all her awareness, Barrett had no chance of detecting the pink mare who had somehow managed to sneak up behind her, despite her back being to a wall.

“Hiya Derpy!” Pinkie Pie shouted, as Derpy jumped into the air, spreading her wings, shouting.

“Oh, good gods!” The pegasus looked to the pink earth pony, and then quickly landed, her hoof on her chest as she caught her breath.

“Pinkie! Don’t scare me like that! It isn’t nice!” Pinkie Pie rubbed the back of her neck at the rebuke she received but handed an envelope to Derpy, complete with a stamp and a hastily scribbled “Dante. Address: Wherever” on the front of it.

“Sorry about scaring you, Derpy. But could you do me a favor and deliver this to Dante?”

The pegasus mare took the envelope and examined. There was a stamp on it, yes. But it had no address, and though she didn’t know who this “Dante” was, she had a pretty good guess on who it was supposed to be.

Still, she couldn’t very well admit that she was going out to search for him.

“Uh… Pinkie, who is “Dante” and why is there no address on this?”

Pinkie’s face lit up at the question, seemingly excited to inform the mare of the new comer.

“Dante’s this really nice Human, well, I suppose to some people he’s not so nice, but he’s got very good reasons for it! But if you’re not a mean pony, he’s really nice to you. Well, I suppose he may cuss at you, but he doesn’t cuss at you in a mean way, he just likes cussing. I think. Keith, why does Dante cuss all the time?”

Silence reigned as Derpy couldn’t bring herself to ask who Keith was and Pinkie stared intently at a spot that had no one, pony or Human otherwise occupying it, nodding the entire time.

“Oh, okay. It’s just how the culture is and he probably doesn’t mean anything by it unless you’re a mean pony!” Pinkie turned back to the grey pegasus. “Yeah he’s really nice but he has a bit of a potty mouth, but he doesn’t mean anything mean by it unless you’re mean to him! So will you get it to him?”

Derpy stared at the pink mare for a second before slowly putting the envelope in her satchel. “Uh… sure.”

Once more, Pinkie lit up, smiling exuberantly. “Thanks!” She jumped above the spot where she had been staring at before and seemed to float on her back. “Come Keith! Back to Sugarcube Corner, we need to get the sweets baking!” And with that, she started to seemingly float through the air as Derpy could only stare on in confusion.

The pink mare disappeared from sight around a corner, but Derpy continued to stare for a minute, before shaking her head and getting her thoughts back on track.

She had to track down Dawn-Bringer, and figure out whether or not he was indeed Dawn-Bringer, or a heretic.

Author's Notes:

I'm off to bed, have a nice sleep everybody!

Again, as always, if you liked and favorited this story, please tell me why. If you disliked this story, please tell me why you disliked it. Thank you very much. I also enjoy criticism as it helps me to improve. So if you do downvote, please leave a comment letting me know why. Be it grammar, spelling, pacing, or you just fucking hate the character!