Chapter Two: Dinner With the Mayor

Twilight Sparkle continued watching "Old Man Kirby" from behind the bush as he walked away from Sweet Apple Acres. She was actually feeling rather intimidated by him, but she wanted to give him a chance. Just then, he stopped walking for a second and turned towards the bush.

"You know," he said, "I'm not really that old. In fact, I'm only slightly older than you."

Twilight maintained her position behind the bush. She had hoped he was talking to someone else and didn't know she was behind the bush.

"You can come out now," he said. "Come on, I know you're behind the bush."

Twilight stepped out. "How did you know I was behind there?"

"Come on," he said. "With your loud panting, how could I not know?"

"Um..." said Twilight.

"You really have no reason to be scared of me," he continued. "It's not like I did anything wrong."

"Look, Old Man Kir..." she began, but then corrected herself. "...sorry, I forgot you don't like to be called that. What should I call you instead?"

"My name is Kirby Hysteria, but you can call me Kirb."

"Look, uh, Kirb, I really have to get going with the things on my list, and..."

It was right about then when another pony screeched to a halt in between them, with an envelope in her mouth.

"Kirb Hysteria!" said the pony, setting down the envelope. "You have a message from the Mayor." The pony galloped away.

"Now what could this be?" asked Kirb with interest. He opened the envelope and read it:

Dear Kirb Hysteria,

How's it been? I understand you have come back from underground. You didn't really think that you would survive for more than five years down there, did you? Anyway, I am inviting you to dinner tonight. We will discuss things like your plans to stay here in the future. Please come at 7:30 pronto.

Sincerely,

The Mayor

Kirb folded up the letter.

"I just got invited to dinner with the Mayor, of all ponies."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Now listen..."

"I know, I know," interrupted Kirb. "You have a lot to do, and I'm creeping you out. I forgive you, it's completely normal to be scared of me. Now go on. As far as I'm concerned, there's no need for this conversation to go any further."

As Twilight watched Kirb walk away, she thought, I am going to get to the bottom of this.

...

"Invited to dine with th' Mayor?" exclaimed Applejack. "Him?!"

"I mean," said Rarity, "I can understand the Mayor inviting someone to dinner, but of all ponies... him?!"

"I do not understand it either," said Twilight, "but I have an idea of what to do."

"Like maybe bust his head in?" said Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow..." But before Twilight could intervene, the pegasus was already practicing her fighting moves.

"Yeah, Rainbow Dash!" said Pinkie Pie, in her usual squeaky voice. "We shouldn't fight him! We should throw a welcoming party for him!!! Only he creeps me out too, so..."

"Um, guys," said Fluttershy, "I think we should listen to Twilight's plan."

Everypony in the room stopped talking and looked at Twilight.

"Well," said Twilight, clearing her throat, "something suspicious is obviously going on that nopony has told me about. So my plan is, one of us hides in watch next to every manhole for the old sewers to see if Kirb comes out. Then when he does, I'll be watching him have dinner with the Mayor and continue watching, trying to catch every word I hear. Then we'll watch him until he goes back in the sewer, and we'll take down as many notes as possible. Got it?"

"Right!" said everypony else in the room.

"Psh," said Spike, who had been listening to the entire plan. "It'll never work."

...

Dressed in a black bodysuit, Twilight snuck up behind a bush next to the Mayor's office. She held a walkie talkie up to her mouth using her horn.

"This is Twilight calling the rest of the team, do you copy? Over."

"Rainbow Dash here, over!"

"Pinkie here, over!"

"Rarity here, over!"

"Applejack 'ere, ov'r!"

"Fluttershy here, over."

"Okay, is everypony in position?" asked Twilight over the walkie talkie.

"Sure am!"

"Woo-hoo!"

"I certainly am!"

"Ah'm here!"

"Yes. Oh no, Angel, I'll make your salad later, just hold on! I have to help out my friends now."

Twilight chuckled a little bit. Same old Fluttershy, she thought.

"Okay, if anypony sees Kirb, then call back, okay?"

Everypony returned their calls, each one saying "yes" in their own way.

...

After a few minutes of waiting, Twilight received another call.

"Dis is Applejack callin' Twilight. Old Man Kirby jus' came out of this man'ole!"

"Got it. Keep me posted."

"Seem t' be goin' in the direction of th' Mayor's office! Can anypony else see 'im?"

"This is Fluttershy calling Twilight. I can see him too! I hope he doesn't see me. I'm scared!"

"This is Pinkie signaling Twilight! Ooh, he's wearing a tie! That means this is really fancy!"

"This is Rarity. Oh my, that tie just does not go with the rest of his outfit! Fashion disaster!"

"Rainbow Dash here. God, I want to punch him right now."

"Calm down, all of you," reassured Twilight. It was right about then when she saw Kirb come into view. He approached the Mayor's office and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, the Mayor opened it.

"Come on in," said the Mayor. Kirb entered and the Mayor followed, closing the door behind her. Twilight looked in through a window and called on the walkie talkie again.

"This is Twilight. Kirb has just entered the office. Everypony regroup next to the door."

As Twilight watched, she could also make out a few of the things they were saying.

"So, Kirby Hysteria, we meet again," said the Mayor.

"Long time, no see, Mayor," said Kirb.

"How's everything going for you, Kirby?" asked the Mayor.

"Please, call me Kirby," said Kirb. "And things are going pretty well, considering I just ran out of food to eat in the sewer and everypony else still treats me like shit. Why have you called me here?"

"No reason in particular, just wanted to have dinner and talk."

"I'd like that. After having lived underground for five years, it will be nice to talk to somepony who actually cares."

"How has everypony been treating you?"

"Like crap under their hooves. Ooh, dinner smells good. What's cooking?"

"You'll find out."

Both ponies went into a different room, and the Mayor shut the doors behind her.

"Psst!"

Twilight was so startled by this voice behind her that she fell off the windowsill and onto the ground. She looked up and saw Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.

"Sorry if ah startl'd you, Twiligh'," said Applejack.

"That's okay," said Twilight.

"What's the update?" asked Pinkie.

"Kirb and the Mayor entered a different room to eat dinner," said Twilight, "and everything they said beforehand was small talk."

"Oh my!" exclaimed Rarity. "What now?"

"Now, obviously, we find another window that looks into the dining room," said Twilight.

Everypony checked around the building, but they couldn't find one that looked into the room where the Mayor and Kirb were having dinner.

"Now what?" asked Applejack.

"Now I really want to pound that jerk's face in," said Rainbow Dash.

"Now," said Twilight, ignoring Rainbow Dash, "we wait."