2/28/14

I woke up today surrounded by noise. They're outside my door and I can hear them talking.

I'm a bit scare to leave, but I said I'd try to talk to Shy Butt. I'm gonna throw a backpack down and try to climb out the window. I'm not going to touch these horse if I don't have to. I'm still not a fan of these things up close. I'm somehow convinced they'd smell like crap.

Okay. Window time. Will continue when I'm on the ground.

I fell...everything hurts and there's ponies surrounding me. They're looking at me like I'm crazy. They're asking me to stop writing.

I told them to fuck off and shit on something else.

They didn't like that...they--

                        Thry

tak

                                                 book

They tried to take my book. I grabbed him by the balls and made him give it back. Blue Spiky is watching me write.

Blue Spiky says hello.

I'm covered in mud but I'm heading towards Shy Butt's. Blue Spiky is being helpful, and she smells like sex instead of shit. It worries me why she smells like that but I'm not going to question it.

Actually, I'm gonna ask her.

She said she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I think she's full of shit, pony shit. I'm gonna figure this out at some point, but until then I'm just gonna stand up wind of her.

Blue Spiky led me to Shy Butt. I gave her a pat on the head, but she made me hug her. I smell like sweat now and I feel kinda grimy. I feel like a stocking, feminine but disgusting when you think about it.

I'm gonna go ask what's wrong with Blue Spiky.

She said that she's "promiscuous" I think she means she's a slut. That wasn't very nice but she said it in a nice way. Shy Butt appears to be an enigma.

I'm being offered to come inside. It smells like cookies in there, so I'm inclined to follow her.

Her house is nice. Kinda small but nice. There's a bunny running around and biting me.

I'm gonna kick this thing out of the window if it doesn't stop.

Sorted that shithead out. Shy Butt made it go sit outside. Shy Butt called herself Fluttershy. I called her Shy Butt. I'm going to compromise by calling her Flutter Butt.

She's still not too happy about it, but I'm happy, and that's what matters.

She's telling me I'm not nice.

I told her she had a nice butt. She got embarrassed and went quiet. She's staring at me now.

I think it's question time. So I might transcribe this.

She's still blushing, and it's making me nervous! Am I a pervert? Does liking squishy yellow butt make me a pervert?

Probably. I'm not into horses, but I can always admire a nice butt.

Transcribed:

ME: What the fuck is going on?

BUTT: I'm sorry?

ME: No seriously, the hell is going on? Am I on drugs?

BUTT: I don't know.

ME: Anyways. What are you?

BUTT: A pony, what are you?

ME: American.

BUTT: I like your nest.

ME: It's not a nest. And stay out of there...there are...bestial things in there. Next question! How do you even hold things?!

BUTT: Like this....

She picked up a teacup with her bare hoof. This is witchcraft!

ME: Witch!

Flutter Butt looks sad now....

ME: Sorry...you're a very nice witch, with a nice butt.

She's blushing again.

ME: Should I stop mentioning your butt?

BUTT: Oh...I mean...if you want.

I have the weirdest boner right now.

ME: Next question! Can I get something to eat?

Butt's frowning pretty bad.

BUTT: What have you been eating this whole time?

ME: Cheap crap, but it's all gone.

BUTT: Well that's no good. You can take something when you go...and...if you...I mean if you wanted to--

Okay I'm need to stop transcribing because I think this yellow thing is hitting on me.

She's saying no, but she definitely wants the D.

I kind of want to run home now.

ME: Seriously?

BUTT: I...uh...yes?

ME ...I'm gonna go, okay?

BUTT: Oh...okay.

She makes me sad...

ME: you make me sad...fine, last question. Can I squeeze your butt?

She's glowing red.

ME: For science...or...at least this book. Documentation, whatever.

BUTT: Oh...I don't know I m--

Soft, squishy, warm, and malleable. She does indeed have a nice butt.

ME: Okay, that's all. So can I get something to eat?

She's just mumbling now...I'm gonna take some food and head home.

3/1/14

It's March now. I'm going to have to spend March with a bunch of ponies banging at my door.

Great...and I can see Flutter Butt out there. She's...she's flying over.

Curtains drawn. My false sense of safety has returned! I'm gonna skip showering today and try to regain control of the dorm today.

I managed to regain control of the evil horse room and some art student's dorm. So spirits are high, and now I have a large supply of panties.

Modest success!

3/2/14

I woke up with a boy pony spooning with me. I kicked him in the balls and threw him out the window.

Never feel clean again.

I'm gonna go wash.

They're watching me wash myself.

These horse bastards are horny as fuck. Fucking ponies need to go get laid and let me wash myself in peace. I'm seriously getting sick of this. I'm not even sure if they're giggling at me, or my penis and it's making me uncomfortable.

I'm getting sick of these ponies as a whole. Blue Spiky's okay, but apparently she's a slut. That makes me sad, but she's at least someone to talk to.

Blue Spiky says I should meet more ponies. She thinks I'll find someone I like.

I'm not sure what she means, but I think she might be soliciting me.

She said I have an inflated ego.

                                                                                                              Bitch.

Blue Spiky's called Vinyl Scratch. Blue Scratch until further notice.

She's gonna take the room next to mine and try to keep other ponies out.

I'm still going to lock my door but the prospect of being left alone is rather appealing. Blue Scratch seems modestly trust worthy, and she seems more interested in the room than with me.

If she keeps smelling I think I'm gonna go dunk her in the stream.

3/3/14

I caught Blue Scratch with a pair of panties on and just walked away. Can none of these ponies be trusted!?

I'm gonna go spend the day outside. Maybe I'll go...do something.

I can do anything I want, without repercussions, and all I can think of is masturbating.

This must be how god feels. All the power in the world and all I want to do is jerk it.

What is my life coming to?

Blue Scratch followed me to the stream. I was too nervous to do anything so I ended up just napping in a field. Blue kept talking about music and panties. I guess she likes them.

I just wish she'd let me sleep in peace.

She's looking over my shoulder.

She called me a nerd.

I'm gonna go to bed.

3/4/14

I woke up today with Blue curled at my feet like a dog.

It was oddly pleasant. I think I can trust Blue Scratch. Maybe.

I just wish she'd stop watching me write.

Hey did you know that you have a skeleton mimicking everything you do? Spooky right?

She didn't buy it.

She wants to go get food. I think that might be a good idea.

This was a good idea. Pony food is really good.

Fruits are sweet and citrus is nice and sour. I can't eat hay, but Blue Scratch seems to like it.

I'm gonna ask a few questions and record results.

I'm in Equestria.

Ponies are the dominant species.

There are griffons.

She's a bit of a slut, but she seems cool about it.

She let me squeeze her butt.

Compared to Flutter Butt, it was firmer, smaller, but that is a tight butt.

                                                                                        Will document further at a later date.

When my shame has died down.

Okay. Stocked up on food. Got some information. I'm feeling good.

Blue Scratch said she might move in with me. I'm cool with it, gonna give her the art student's room. She likes the panties and...I'm...done with them.

She promised to pick up food if I let her stay so this is gonna work out.

Blue Scratch, you are my greatest ally.

                                                                                                                                         Buck yeah.

Notes: Ponies have a poor concept of personal property and space.

3/5/14

Blue Scratch came through. Food is being supplied and my scientific studies can continue!

Swhet shit...

                                      she brought bouz

ma iver is dyin

It kiks like rubin alchoha

Why-----------------I___________do this?!??

I wanna go home....no mo pon shite

3/6/14

Fuck...I woke up in bed with Blue Scratch, crying.

I don't know where my pants are, or why I'm here.

My journal isn't much help, and I can barely read it.

This reminds me of that picture of the guy and the pony.

Oh god I'm that guy......

Holy shit.

So apparently we got drunk and I broke down crying. Blue Scratch laughed at me, but she said she wont tell anyone. I don't know If I can trust her. We shall see.

On another note, pony alcohol will kick your ass up and down the street. Seriously that stuff has an extremely high knockout rate.

Research...will continue...eventually.

But at least I have a decent grasp on where I am, if only that. That and that these ponies are terrible at being subtle.

I grabbed Blue's horn from behi behind

She freaked out and shot some lighting shit from her horn.

I feel like my fingers got hit by a hammer.

                                                                                             My fingers might fall off.