I stepped over the rubble scattered across the floor, waving my hand in the air to clear away the dust. “Well, well, isn’t this a treat. You’re still alive.”

A shimmering golden field of some sort surrounded the pair of ponies from the fury of my fist, blocking my blow. It didn’t, however, stop the resulting explosion, which had devastated much of the hallway and had reduced the walls to barely wreckage.

The golden force field disappeared, leaving a dust covered Celestia standing in front of the other pony. Luna, I believe I heard Celestia mention. Not that it mattered, since the only engraving her or her sister were going to receive on their graves would read ‘Here rests another dirty, communist scumbag.’

“Are you mad?” Celestia asked, her voice carrying more power and strength than before. “You come into my castle, hit me, and then attack my sister? What type of maniac are you?”

“A Republican,” I answered, cracking my knuckles one by one in my clenched fists. “Also, the Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to dirty foreigners. And neither do any of the others, so I can do pretty much whatever I want.” I assumed attack position, fists raised at either side as I hopped from one foot to the other. “Constitution be damned!”

“What are you even talking about, you psychopath?!” Luna demanded, moving away from under the protective wing of her sister. Although smaller than her sibling, I noticed she still had some backbone on her. Shame that’ll be the first to break. “I don’t know who you are or where you’re from, but you’re going to regret ever stepping foot here! Equestria is under our protection, and harming it or us means you’ll meet the fury of our wrath!”

I yawned. Rubbing the gloved nails of my hand against my coat, I sauntered to the nearby wall, not even glancing at the pony princess duo. “Is that all?”

“How dare you ignore me!” Luna shouted. She took a step forward, Celestia resting a hoof on her shoulder to hold her back. “You have no right to enter my domain and treat me like trash!”

“Careful, sister, this one is trouble. And from what I’ve seen, extremely powerful,” Celestia whispered in Luna’s ear. “We can’t go charging headstrong into this one.”

“Actually, I have every right to enter your ‘domain,’ as you call it,” I said. “The spread of communism must stop. And if that means invading a foreign nation and overthrowing its despot government, well…” a small smile appeared on my flabby-cheeked face, “I’m more than glad to do it myself.”

Luna gritted her teeth, throwing Celestia’s hoof off and walking towards me, a determined expression in her eyes and conviction in each step. “Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

I slammed the flat of my fist against the deteriorating wall, chunks of it already falling off and the ceiling crumbling away. “And you’re the bigger fool for thinking you can play with the big kids.”

Already the foundations of the hallway were falling apart, pieces and bits from the roof showering like hail as dust fell like a rainstorm. Narrowly dodging to the left to avoid being hit from a particularly large chunk of roofage, Luna growled at me as her horn and eyes glowed a bright bluish color, much like her sister’s golden. And before I knew it, I was flying through the air, the wind knocked out of my lungs in less than a second.

The wall behind me, which had already had ample damage from my backside previously, couldn’t contend with me a second time. Empty air met my back once the wall had crumbled to bits upon contact, and with nothing else to hold me back I just kept on falling and falling. Déjà vu.

However, unlike the last time, I was fully prepared for this encounter with that harsh mistress known as gravity. Turning around midair, I met the distant ground headon, like I was eager to embrace death with open arms. Luckily for me, I had already punched Death right in the kisser a number of years earlier, and the fink knew not to act funny around me ever again.

I landed firstly on my fist, having punched the ground with the force of a Presidential Punch Package that turned the earth into dust and crumble rock into pebbles beneath me. Wind tore through the air due to the powerful impact of my landing, and when I withdrew back to my feet a light shower of bits of rock and dust fell here and there near my vicinity. I appeared to have landed somewhere far below the tower. The top had crumbled with hopefully those princesses inside of it. Right now I was in a garden of some sort: what used to be grass and a cobblestone path leading to a scenic walk of a few beautiful flowers reduced to ripped up earth, a ruined pathway, disintegrated flowers, and a statue of a pony leaning on its side before eventually falling over and shattering into individual pieces.

Wiping off some dust from my shoulder, I walked forward while whistling the merry tune of ‘America the Beautiful.’ I had created a good sized crater from my landing, and sought to leave it to keep my shoes clean. Good leather stained easy, and heaven knows it’ll need a good spit-shining and wax to restore it to its proper look.

I side-stepped to the right, ducking to the side as I rolled on my shoulders to hastily avoid a blast of energy that zapped the area I was previously standing in to hot cinders. Back on my feet now, I look up and smiled at the spectacle.

“Well, looks like you gals are still kicking and screaming!” I laughed. Celestia and Luna were hovering high above, the smoke dissipating from Luna’s horn making her the obvious attacker. “Nothing like putting down a communist that’s up to struggle! Just makes the effort all the more rewarding!”

“Your alien accusations have no meaning here, you cold-hearted monster!” Luna proclaimed, slowly descending along with her sister.

I snickered. “Cold-hearted monster? My children have called my crueler insults than that! What, are you out of work hippies so wacked out on dope you can’t even come up with a proper jab at me?”

“Name calling is of no concern to us, Nixon, and neither should it be to you,” Celestia stated, landing directly before me in front of the setting sun. Luna was soon joined behind. “You arrive here out of the blue and threaten my sister and I, along with living up to those threats in a nature most violent and troublesome. You have no need to hate us, and neither do we to you, yet you throw off all concerns for proper, intelligent discussions and get right to snapping at us like a feral dog.” Celestia bent forward, assuming whatever attack position these ponies prefered. “And for that, your transgressions against both my sister and I and the nation of Equestria shall not be so easily forgiven. Surrender now, while you still have a chance.”

Checking over my shoulder, I saw Luna taking the position as well, both sisters positively radiating with this so called ‘magic’ they possessed. Bunch of hippie cockamamie mumbo-jumbo nonsense.

Smirking, I slowly began sliding out my hand from one of my gloves. “You honestly think I’ll surrender? Hell, I’d rather rot in prison than ever apologize to one of you commie monsters. But, I will give you this. The kid gloves,” I said, removing the first glove and holding it high overhead before dropping it, “are off.”

“Funny, I can almost say the same thing for us,” Luna said.

“Then this will at least be more entertaining than the usual hippie drivel that kick at my doorstep,” I said, removing the other glove. My boney, liver spot covered hands were glowing now, light shining more brightly than both Celestia and Luna combined. Turning my palms into fist, this light grew tenfold, power like no other filling my very soul with a might that could topple nations and lead entire countries. “And with these hands, I shall build your graves, and then erect a new government for this nation to stand on! Under Nixon, of course! Muhahahahahahahaha!”