Chapter 21: Keep it down

The door thundered with the sound of someone beating it to death. My head hurt like crap, and I felt the pains of hunger. Bottles littered the table, and my head was clearly over the trash bin.

“Fuck yo-hurk.” I emptied the contents of my stomach into the bin. Those drinks were amazing, one tasted like chocolate milk and another like cherry pie… I wished I could remember what I said to the guy that delivered my food.

Keys jingled from the other side of the door. My arms wrapped around bin filled with last nights hay salad, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Chunks of red and green bubbled up from the bin, while yellow strands poked out of the slop.

“Sorry for the intrusion sir but…” A maid stood in the doorway, she looked down at me wide eyed while I vomited another night’s dish, “Are you alright?”

“Wha rra rraaa. Urg.” I filled the bin again, the door creaked open and the sound of of hooves moved toward me.

“Um… did you drink all this?” She asked, I looked at her then pointed at the passed out raccoon.

“I think she drank a shot… maybe.”

“Oh dear. This isn’t good.” She looked at me, then at the bottles on the table. I heard her sigh, “The Princess isn’t going to like this.”

“Princess?” I raised my head from the sloppy mess. Green chunks fell from my face and I just looked at her in confusion.

“We need to get you in the shower…”

“You okay Coco?” I asked the half wet mess of fur that clung to my shoulder. That maid was thorough, and Coco didn’t escape from her mighty grasp… or couldn’t. Coco couldn’t even get up, much less walk at the moment. Same could be said for me, I don’t even know how I managed to make it to the trash can.

Coco let out a huff, then proceeded to shake off the rest of the water that clung to her coat.

“You are lucky I’m still naked.” I shook my head, grabbed a towel to wipe off the water that splashed on my face. As I covered the annoying raccoon with the towel, I looked over my baggage and grabbed a simple set of cloths.

The maid had said something about dressing in something formal, but I only packed normal clothing. Something about the Princess, but I was out of it when she talked a storm in the shower.

“God how I wished this headache would go away!” I moaned as the constant throb nearly paralyzed me. If I knew beforehand how good the booze was, I would have drank since day one.

With cloths on and a pissed off raccoon, I strapped on my staff then headed to the dining hall. Though after the first few steps, I had to use the staff as a walking cane. My legs would just not listen to me.

“I know Coco. So stop trying to claw my eyes out.” Coco was angry with the whole me tripping and almost slamming into the wall. My head hurt like crap, even when I entered the near silent dining did the sound of silverware hitting china almost made me tear off my ears.

Everyone in the room seemed to be of some sort of important standing. They had this odd surprised look when I walked by them and towards the Princess, who had this really angry look about her.

“Good morning Button.” Celestia greeted, she pointed toward a chair next to her, “Please have a seat, and help yourself to some food.”

My ears splayed back as she talked, I gave the mare a glare and begrudgingly took a seat. Coco dropped down on the table, clutched her head then began to let out a low grumble.

“Wished I could join you.” I really wanted to just curl up in a ball, and hoped someone was kind enough to knock me out.

“Something wrong?” Celestia looked down, with that disapproving stare.

“No… but can you keep it down?” I moaned in response, her loud words seemed to alleviate my headache.

“Button.” Celestia leaned down, my head turned to look at the mare, “I’m whispering.” My ears splayed back, and I grumbled a silent curse. I heard Celestia sigh, then placed a hand on my head, “Why do you cause me so much trouble?”

She started to pet my head, the headache seemed to fade with her touch.

“Feeling better?” Celestia asked.

“Oh yeah!” I neighed a response, my body seemed to lean toward the mare. I didn’t know what was going on, but drool started to escape my open mouth. Celestia stopped the magic touch, I looked at mare with a smile on my face I said, “Thanks!”

“No problem.” She smiled just briefly, then it turned to a scowl, “You have some explaining to do… but.” Celestia looked down at the quivering ball of black and grey fur, “I’ll let you finish breakfast first.” She picked up Coco, and started to pet her. I then noticed her horn started to glow along with the hand she used.

“Thanks.” I looked at the various assortment of food. Breakfast sandwiches, with a bunch of pastries, “I’m sorry, waist.”

The pastries and sandwiches started to pile on my plate, but I really had wanted fried eggs at the moment, too bad that wasn’t an option.

“You seem hungry.” Celestia giggled, as she fed Coco a piece of bread. She smiled at the greedy raccoon, “She seems to have taken after her master.”

I bit down on a cucumber sandwich, and just ignored Celestia’s comment. The fact that most of the room had their gazes directed toward us, was extremely unnerving.

“You mind if I ask you a question?” I asked, after I gulped down the sandwich, “Why am I here?”

“Hm. That’s a tough question to answer.” Celestia tilted her head, a far off look adorned her face, “One of life’s greatest mysteries.” She looked down at me, with this gentle smile, “I’m not sure even I can truly answer that question.”

I blinked, not sure of what to make of her response. It was the dumbest thing I ever heard from her, and even if it was meant to be a joke.

“Okay… nevermind.” To emphasize my distaste, I stuffed a sandwich into my mouth.

“Oh don’t be like that!” Celestia giggled, she started to play with my hair in the hopes to annoy me, “Can’t take a joke, can you?”

“I can take a joke… just not in the mood for one.”

Celestia let out a chuckle, then proceeded to say, “You are such an odd colt. You know that, right?”

“Oh really! How so?”

“For one...” Celestia started to giggle, an odd thing to see, because her boobs jiggled in the process. It was like two water balloons ready to burst, shoved into a skin tight dress, just wished she had the ass to match. Celestia pointed at me, “Most ponies normally avoid sitting in that chair.”

I stopped mid bite, stared at the Princess, then said, “What?”

Celestia just smiled, then proceeded to pet Coco. She started to hum, while I thought of whether to pry further or just leave it.

“You should finish up soon,” Celestia said, as Coco let out a squee when Celestia tickled her behind the ear, “you have some tests to do.”

“Great.” My shoulders sagged and I sighed, I really hated test. With that in mind, I finished off my food, “Okay, I’m done.” I grabbed Coco, and placed her back on my shoulder, “Let’s get this over with.”

“Then, shall we?” Celestia stood up, and started to make her way to the exit with me behind her. From the corners of my eyes, I noticed the heads of the ponies followed our every movement.

Celestia led me to a section of the castle, that had classrooms filled with students. Strange how they were all unicorns, but the truly weird thing was that they all looked at the Princess as she walked by.

We soon entered a hall that had massive double doors at the end. The hall seemed to stretch for miles and yet we could hear voices from the middle of the hall.

Soon those oaken doors opened abruptly, and ponies near my age flooded into the hall. Then all of a sudden, they all stopped to stare at the incoming Princess. Celestia however, just continued to walk forward with me in tow.

“Good morning my little ponies!” Celestia greeted the fillies and colts. To their part, the students quickly bowed and moved out of her way. We easily made our way into the room, and I was a bit surprised to see Beam along with other ponies.

It wasn’t the fact that they were old, not Beam old, but some of them were getting pretty much up there. It was the fact that, they all wore robes with the symbol of a sun on them. Like those fantasy mages robes in games… kinda want one for some reason.

“Princess Celestia.” They all said in unison, and like clockwork, bowed and waited until said for them to rise.

“So this is the colt you were talking about?” The only stallion in the group said, as he adjusted his monocle. The old stallion wiggled his moustache, and I wondered if it was fake or not. He turned to the Princess, “You sure he can can make it?”

I stopped dead, my head slowly turned to the Princess. She remained like a statue, but I noticed a twitch from her wings.

“Coco.” She responded with a growl, my hand moved to grab the raccoon, “I’m going to let you down.”

“Button?” Celestia, narrowed her eyes at me. We were locked in an odd staring contest. Mana channeled into the staff, while Celestia’s horn glowed.

“You better not.” Coco was let down with a levitation spell, she quickly scurried toward Beam. I envisioned three spheres of mana around me, each the same size as me.

“What are you doing?” Celestia asked, the aura around her horn increased in intensity.

“Escaping… pop.” I snapped my fingers and closed my eyes. Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel the light from the spell. With the spell in effect, I started to picture the movements of my copies.

“Oh! That’s an interesting spell you have there.” My eyes quickly opened, the sight of Beam in front of me almost made me lose my concentration. Coco was held in her arms, and it seemed like my little flash did nothing to the mare or the others.

Celestia crossed her arms, she smirked while the other ponies had mild to complete surprise on their faces.

“H-how?” I gasped, along with the three voices of my clones. They almost sounded exactly like me, except for number two. That guy needs still needs some work.

“It was thanks to this little deary.” Beam patted Coco, my jaw dropped when I saw she had her eyes covered.

“Interesting.” The old stallion from before, stepped forward to observe one of my clones. Again, that monocle was adjusted to the same spot, “It looks complex.” He looked at the Princess, “I take back what I said.”

“Glad he could change your mind, Silk.” Celestia nodded at the stallion, then turned to the other ponies, “I have some business to finish… I hope you won’t go easy on him.” With that said, she started to make her way out.

“Ah. What’s going on?” I asked aloud, in hopes anyone could tell me. Though it came out in an odd mess of jarble, clone number three and two started to fail me.

“Looks like your spell could use some work.” Beam said, she turned to look at the other ponies in the room, “Let’s get started… shall we?”

“So… what am I suppose to do again?” It had been a grueling three hours, since I was left with Beam and her five colleagues. They each gave me tests, from the levitation of objects to bending elements.

“Just show me what you can do… for now.” Beam just smiled, but I had to squint just to see it. Apparently, she and the others took a seat in the stands above. Leaving me in the arena like room.

“Can you be more specific?” I had to almost shout, really wished they would have used the tables on the ground. I was still surprised on how big this room was.

“Just cast a spell for one minute!” Beam replied.

“Okay!” I shouted back, then turned to face the odd dummies that were spread out. I had no clue what any of these test were suppose to measure, but it had been easy so far, ‘Now what should I… I wonder.'

Mana was channeled into the staff, while a water based spell was being recited in my mind. It was a simple spell, made from the water element block commanded by levitation. Apparently levitation was the basis for all spells, from the amount of energy transferred, to what I want the physical world to do. I still wonder why no one has yet to put the two together.

Some of the high level spells, had them start off with some complicated bullshit, that would have made nearly impossible, if you weren’t a god that is.. or Twilight. I really wonder if that Starswirl guy was the same as Twilight.

Bubbles of water began to form around me, each the size of a soccer ball. An image of Coco flooded my mind, and the bubbles of water began to take her form.

“Now.” I grinned at the water coons, smiled and waved toward me. I pointed the wand at the dummies, “Go make me a tower.”

They gave a nod, then started to scurry toward the dummies. From an outsiders perspective it looked like they had a mind of their own, but in fact I was in control of them. Usually a set of commands would have to be in place for them to move, but that was too much of a hassle. Moving them with my mind was an easier option… now I just needed to find a way to make things explode, with my mind.

The coons began to pile to make a base, then began to stack them atop one another. It wasn’t long until, they had all the mannequins atop one another.

“Happy now?!” I shouted to the audience from above. I heard clammered whisper, and a squeal from a certain black and grey companion. Coco quickly made her way down, which made me chuckle as she tried to play with the clones.

I disappeared most of them and let her play with the remaining clones. They wrestled on the ground, but the sound of hooves drew my attention to incoming Beam.

“I thought those clones of yours were interesting!” Beam said, she adjusted her glasses again and I wondered why she kept doing it, “But this spell is just so cute.”

Beam dawed at Coco’s doppelgangers, while I just noticed that the other instructors were not in the room.

“Ah. Where is everyone?” I asked.

“They went out for lunch.” Beam replied, as she lifted one of the clones. The watery sack jiggled in her grasp, which brought a smile to the old mare’s face.

“So if they went to lunch… then what am I suppose to do?” I commanded the clone in her grasp to give her a wave, before I dispersed the spell.

“Ah. No fun.” Beam tsked, then proceeded to levitate Coco to her arms.

“Sorry for that, but I’m a bit hungry from all those spells.” I watched Beam place Coco on her shoulder, then waved her finger for me to follow. She then headed toward the double doors, with me in tow.

Beam led me toward a cafeteria, filled with guards, lots and lots of guards. I had to wonder why she brought me here…

“Is that a griffin?” I stopped dead and stared at the predator in the room. The female half cat ate away at a plate full of what I believed to be meat, but I wasn’t to sure since she was across the room.

“Button… don’t daddle!” Beam continued to make her way towards the end of the line. I did the same, not before I took one last glance at the plate before the griff. My stomach growled, as my lips salivated with the thoughts of finally getting something to eat.

“I can’t believe it!” I gasped, after I swallowed the piece of deer flesh. My brows furrowed at the unseasoned piece of meat, “Would it have killed him to put some salt on it?” I grabbed the shalt shaker, Beam and many or actually all of the room’s occupants looked at me.

Normally I would had been unnerved by their stares, but the meat was so butchered up that I was distracted by it. It was such a gamy meat, just wished they either smoked it or marinated with something.

I sliced a tiny piece off and handed it to Coco, “Better?” She took the piece, and started to gobble it down. Once it was finished, she gave a shrug and I sighed, “Yup. Could have been better.”

“You are a very strange pony...” Beam said, her fork stabbed into the salad.

“I get that alot!” I replied.

“I bet you do.” Beam said, while Coco replied with a shrug then plunged her head into the cheesecake.

“By the way… how’d you block my spell from earlier?” I asked, it bugged me that my escape plan was so easily foiled.

“Do you really want to know?” I looked at the mare with a raised eyebrow. She had this bemused look about her, and I just gave her a slight nod. Beam chuckled, “I’ll show you… some other time.”

I just chewed on the piece of meat, at least I can find out what she did. While I continued to eat a crowd formed near the entrance. A group of ponies in gold and blue skin tight spandex entered the cafeteria.

There was a stallion in the group, but the mares’ cameltoes drew my eyes to their crotch. The mares may not have huge tits, but they were hot. Though the white pegasus with a poofy blonde mane, reminded me of someone.

“Pinkie Pie.” I snapped my fingers, when I realized who that mare looked like. From her merry smile to her bouncy movement, the only thing she was missing was the boobs. She did make up for it with that bubbly ass.

“Pinkie who?” Beam asked.

“Nothing… just thought she looked familiar.” I said, then finished off my lunch as to not continue the conversation. Luckily, Beam just shook her head and continued with her meal. I reached for my pudding, and started on that.

We continued eating in silence, Coco however just made noise when she ate her cake. I really wonder how she could put all that down, she basically ate her own weight in food and still hasn’t taken a dump or vomited.

“Say beam.” I began, as the thought of a steamy mess on my shoulder sent a shiver down my spine, “What else are we doing today?”

“Hmm. Other than the meeting with Princess… I do believe that’s it.” She said, which made nod then I looked down at the raccoon. She looked so cute with the whip cream beard, but I just knew it might just end up on my shirt.

“Woah. Never expected to see you here.” A fiery maned mare walked up to our table, with a smile on her face. She looked at Beam, to Coco, then stopped at me as her face slowly fell. I followed her gaze, and what it led to was the plate with bones atop it.

“Something wrong… Spitfire?” Beam asked, as Coco then proceeded to knaw on the bones.

“Nothing… just.” She looked at me then the plate, “Just odd to see you out of your office… is all.”

“Hey Spit! I got your lunch.” The stallion in tights walked up to our table with trays filled with food.

Spitfire turned with an acquired smile on her, “T-thanks Soarin’.” The guy took a seat next me and handed the food to the mare. Seeing no option, she took the seat next to Beam.

“Who's the kid?” Soarin asked, as he started to gobble down his food.

“Him?” Beam pointed at me, and the blue stallion nodded, “He is Button… Celestia new Protege.”

Soarin started to choke on his food, while Spitfire nearly sprayed me with orange juice. Luckily she was able to keep it down and coughed out a, “What?!”

Beam just smiled, while the two pegasi tried to comprehend what the old mare had said. Beam took a sip from her drink then looked at me, “We better head out. You don’t want to make the Princess wait.” She turned to Spitfire, “It’s been nice meeting you.” Beam then addressed Soarin, “Do be careful with those turns.”

I grabbed our tray with magic and placed Coco on my shoulder. The ponies and griffin in the room looked on in surprise as we walked towards the door. Beam followed behind at her leisurely pace.

When we left the room, I turned to look at the mare, “What was that all about?”

“Oh. Nothing.” Beam grinned, as I followed beside her down the hall, “Just needed a way to spread the word.”

“Huh?” I stopped, just to watch the old mare’s back. Her action caused me to sigh, everything about this just seemed like a giant headache.

Beam led me toward the throne room, and somehow she ended up moving up my awesome list. She walked by the line of ponies, with guard simply getting out of her way. It was really funny since they stood like statues, but once Beam walked by they quaked in their armor. I didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for them, but one thing is for sure, I needed to find out who Beam is and soon.

I entered the majestic throne room, and had to wonder why there were so many griffin in the room.
There was a total of ten of them, a large muscular griff stood in front of the group. I would have thought it was a male at first, but the large breast plate changed my mind.

“Wow… those boobs are huge!” I gasped at the large hybrid’s watermelon like breast. She was bigger than Celestia and had muscles that could pop a bear’s head off. Her figure kinda frightened me, since the one guy in the group looked really frail in comparison. Though I had other pressing matters to deal with, my comment drew the attention of the room and I just said what came in mind, “What? You're all thinking it too.”

No one looked happy at my comment, except for Beam, who giggled at it.

“Button.” Celestia looked at me and sighed, she motioned for me to come towards her, “Please come here.”

“Whatever...” I grumbled, as I made my way to the sun goddess. The griffin looked at me funny, while the giant one had this… it looked like a grin but I wasn’t too sure what to make of it. Beaks were not meant to show emotions.

“A bit young… isn’t he?” The giant griff said with a sneer, while her posse snickered. Though they stopped when the giant glared at them.

“Still haven’t lost your touch… have you, Tilda?” Celestia’s smile at the moment frightened me, it had an edge to it like Tilda’s. Though Celestia’s was more frightening.

“Same can be said to you, Princess.” Tilda said, the two looked at one another. It looked like they were going to get into a fight, until they started to laugh, which lessened the tension in the room.

The two had their little meet and greet, then we moved towards a more private room. The griffin remained ever ready, as if someone was going to jump them. Except for this one griff, who continued to look at me with uncertainty.

We entered the room, and to my surprise there was a pink alicorn in the room. Next to the mare was a white stallion in purple armor. I didn’t know whether to facepalm or throw something at the stallion, just because he wore that armor.

“Princess!” The stallion stood up and bowed, while the mare ran up to hug Celestia.

“Aunty!” The pink Alicorn yelled, as she wrapped her arms around Celestia.

“It’s good to see you again, Cadence.” Celestia hugged the mare, it was all touchy feely but luckily the moment was ended by a cough from Tilda. Celestia and Cadence reluctantly let go of one another, “Excuse us.” Celestia bowed to the griffin then proceeded to take a seat next to Cadence.

The griffin took the seats opposite of the ponies, but only Tilda and the small guy sat. The rest of us stood behind our respective parties. Well, only me since Beam sat next to Celestia.

“Now. Let’s get down to Business.” Celestia said, Tilda nodded as a map was levitated on the table. Then tacks were placed on the map, with some directions from Cadence and Tilda.

“The troops are placed in Crow’s Roost. With regular patrols in the mountains.” Tilda pointed to a mountain range, and a place labeled ‘Fort Roost’.

Cadence nodded then pointed to an entrance and a narrow pass to the mountain, “My troops have spotted the enemies’ movement down the pass.” The mare’s horn glowed and an image was shown over the table, “They’ve spotted these…”

“Watchers!” Beam cut in, when large floating eyes with wings flew across the image. Creatures in groups of five walked through the path in the mountains. Beam nearly spat when Cadence zoomed in, “Ghouls… the foul monsters.” I could hear Beam grit her teeth.

Cadence gulped and slowly leaned away from the mare, nearly tipped the stallion next to her. The griffin had a different reaction, Tilda’s feathers almost ruffled and the guards reached for their weapons. The male griff had this cocky look about him as he was ignorant of the situation.

“Calm down Beam.” Celestia laid a hand on the mare’ shoulder. I saw Beams shoulders sag, while Celestia continued to keep her gaze focused on the griffin, “Now. What is the status of the north?”

“Not good your highness.” I wanted to gag when the unicorn guy decided to talk. He sounded like one of those surfer dude’s, and for some reason, given the opportunity I wanted to bash my head against the wall. The guy continued to talk, while I eyed the pristine wall, “It seems that Sombra’s remnant, has found Red Dawn’s battle field.”

“And whose fault is that.” The male griffin sneered and pointed a finder at Cadence. I was a bit surprised that he could sneer, but it soon died as the prick continued with his little hate speech, “You have caused nothing but problems.” He extended his arms wide to show his frustration, “You claim to have defeated that old tyrant.” He points a tallon back at the Pink Alicorn, “And yet he lives with an army of the undead ready to attack our cities! How are you going to fix it.”

I didn’t understand where he was going with this, but I was sure that Tilda was ready to smack him. It was either the scornful look on her face or the worried expressions of the guards that gave it away. One thing is for sure, that Cadence seemed to be taken it lightly, while Shining Armour was ready beat the guy to death.

“I assure you… Prince Turn Claw.” From my position, Cadence placed a hand on Shining’s lap, which instantly calmed the unicorn as she continued to speak, “We did destroy Sombra. But it seems that someone found a piece of him.” I turned my attention back at the upstart, he seemed to flinch from the Alicorns gaze, “Though, now is not the time for blame games… is it.”

Turn Claw just sat there, his head turned to look away from the Princess. Tilda on the other hand, had this really odd look about her, and I just could not figure it out.

Cadence along with everyone else turned our attention away from the silent Prince to hulking she beast, “I do believe we strategies to discuss.” Cadence said, followed by a slight nod from Tilda.

The meeting quickly moved on to how the troops would be positioned, where and when supplies would arrive, as well as other factors to deal with the thousand or so Griffin and Keythong corpses. With the edition of them being ghoulified, which is putting demonic spirits into the dead bodies, they got an upgrade of razor sharp crystal Armour. I had to hold back at the sheer audacity of it all.

In the magic floating screen they had a griffin with it’s feathers still intact, but missing crotch, which was replaced by a crystal dildo. That would have been my been my breaking point, if not for the awkward looks I got from the opposing guards. With what amount of concentration i had left, I swallowed down my laughter, and just bared with it.

After an hour or so, the meeting was finished and all respective parties left the room. I lagged behind the Alicorns, with Beam next to me. Coco was held in Beam’s arms, her playful smile cheered up the old mare.

“Button.” Celestia turned to look at me, as we all came to a stop at a massive door.

“Yes Princess?” I looked at her, with a smile on my face. She points at the door, her horn glows to open it.

“Why don’t you head in first… We have some things to discuss.” Celestia smiled down at me, and without question I nodded.

“Sure.” I saw that Coco was fine with Beam, and so I walked into the bright room. I barely made it to the entrance, until I felt my staff forcibly ripped from my grip. I turned to see a bright beam of light, and the feeling of my hooves leaving the ground.

I tumbled hard on the marbled floor, only to lay limp with my eyes trained at the door. There in the entrance was the unicorn stallion his horn a ablaze. Aside from the ringing in my ears, I was able to hear someone say, “You didn’t need to go that far.”