“Come visit Equestria with me, she said’. We’ll meet my friends, have a few laughs.” Grumbling to myself, I made my way following my pink guide as all eyes were drawn to me. Humans were still a rare enough sight in Ponyville to cause a bit of a stir, and a few bad apples hadn't helped to endear us to the natives. Being in the company of Pinkie, however, went a long way to relax tensions. The fact that they served booze here didn't hurt either.

As we made our way to a table in the corner, I couldn't help but notice it was an earth song that was being sung. I remembered it being played to death on the radio, and slowly going from loving it, to hating it for that reason. The song was “Radioactive, and was being sung by an off-white pony with sandy brown hair. Her companion was a grey pony with blue spiked hair. The crowd seemed to like it, but the couple seemed eager to leave as it was over.

“Who are those guys singing? I know that song from earth.” I asked Pinkie, as we approached her friends at the table.

“Oh they are friends of the Doctor, I believe. He brought them in to buy supplies. They seemed rather fond of the cloth I was able to sell them. The grey one seems to be a fan of Miss Scratch, over there.” The white pony, Rarity I believe, pointed to the DJ behind a large machine wearing a mohawk that matched the smaller grey mare that was giving her a hug. I had heard that the Karaoke machine had been reverse engineered to run off magic, and it seemed the local unicorn DJ was running it.

“Doctor who?” I asked the obvious question.

“I think it’s pronounced ‘Hooves’.” The local royalty, Princess Sparkle responded. It took me a moment to realize I wasn't being made fun of, and then I groaned as I saw the singers leaving with a brown pony that looked an awful lot like a popular television star back home.

“Uhh, nevermind. Hiya girls, hows the party goin?” I asked lamely as I sat at the table.

“Wait, this is supposed to be a party? Why didn't anypony tell me!” Pinkie practically leaped out of her chair, but was quickly restrained by a hovering Rainbow Dash.

“Relax, Pinkie. It was just a figure of speech. This is just some friends hanging out and having a bit of fun. Nothing so formal as a party.” Dash sank back to her chair, and polished off a mug of something brown and frothy.

Each of the girls greeted me, some I had met before, others were meeting for the first time. Dash gave me a high five, or the equivalent, Rarity shook my hand rather demurely, Applejack almost took my arm off with a firm shake, and Twilight just looked at me funny as Pinkie tried to lay her head on my shoulder, before I shrugged her off. Only Fluttershy seemed to not welcome me immediately, as she smiled and hid behind her hair.

“Oh don’t mind Fluttershy, she hasn't been to earth yet, so isn't used to humans. So you are just some big scary creature to her.” Twilight smiled at the both of us, and then finished her glass of wine.

“But I thought she liked big scary creatures? It’s ponies and dragons shes afraid of.” Dash rolled her eyes at her pegasus friend. “I’m surprised she isn't all over him, trying to cuddle him and drag him home to take care of.”

“That's my job!” Exclaimed Pinkie, rather loudly.

“No it’s not, Pinkie. Quit being a pest.” I grumbled.

“Aww... but you are supposed to be my date for tonight!” She whined pitifully.

“Just because this is a date, doesn't mean we are dating.” I replied gruffly, wondering when our serve would arrive.

“Actually, sugarcube, I recon it kinda does. Iffin I do say myself.” I glared a death stare at the farm pony, who had taken great pleasure at my expense over Pinkie’s unrequited affections.

“Stay outta this, corn-pone.” I flipped her off and got a belly laugh in return. The other girls looked mostly offended, except for Dash, who also joined in the laughter.

My rescue came in the form of a mint-green mare who was levitating a tray of drinks for our table. She almost dropped them as she saw me, but I managed to catch it and make it to the table.

“OMYGOSH! You’re a human! A real live human!” She practically gushed as she invaded my personal space in a way that would have been far more alarming before living with Pinkie Pie. Instead, I just put a hand on her forehead and pushed.

“OH MY CELESTIA! Hands! He touched me with his hands! This is so amazing. I have always wanted to go to earth and see humans, but they say I would scare them. But it’s just not fair, since I was the only one that believed they existed before the portal opened. And now they won't let me go because I love humans so much, but now there is one right here in my own town! Hi my name is Lyra!” She quickly grabbed my hand and began shaking it.

Calmly I turned to Pinkie Pie, making note of the horrified faces of the other girls, and drawled, “Friend of yours, Pinkie?”

“Well everypony in Ponyville is my friend, but that is just Lyra. She was always a little crazy about humans, but after they showed up, she got worse. Hi Lyra, this is my friend Louis!” Pinkie pulled my hand away and started to shake Lyra’s hoof instead.

“Oh, hello Pinkie. Hello looeese! I like that name. Looeese! What does it mean?” She grinned at me with a manic gleam that made Pinkie seem sedate.

“It means ‘He who takes no shit, king of the asskickers’. I deadpanned. I almost got away with it before princess know-it-all butted it.

“That's not what I read. My research on earth names says it means...” I quickly interrupted her with a death glare, and a cleared throat. “Oh, you were joking. Carry on!”

I turned back to the starstruck server, and patted her on the head. She didn't even seem to realize I was being a bit condescending when I asked, “Well Miss Lyra, why don't you do us a favor and get us some drinks. I would like a couple of beers and a shot of whatever liquor you have on hand.

“Oh, right away! And everypony else?” Each gave their orders, and she was on her way, giggling to herself about hands.

“Well, that was different.” I said drolly as I tirned back to my companions. I paused a moment before cracking a grin, “Aww who the hell am I kidding, I live with Pinkie. I get shit like that once a week.” Everyone laughed at that, even Fluttershy, who seemed to have already amassed three shot glasses, and a couple of mugs.

“So, who is gonna go first at the mic?” Pinkie piped up, and looked around the table with a grin.

“Ugh, I hate karaoke. So many horrible singers, and never enough alcohol.” I groused, getting jeers from the table.

“That may be true where you come from, but Ponyville has a long tradition of fostering the arts, and fine singers to the last mare.” Rarity piped up, finishing what looked like a third glass of wine. “I believe I will go first, before you are all too besotted to appreciate my lyrical skill.”

We all cheered her on as she approached the stage, and leaned over to the DJ for a song request. I saw they has set up a sort of magic-powered monitor to display the words, and we all cheered as the lights went down, and the spotlight came on.

Lucky Mare -Rarity

As the lights came back up, the audience remained silent for a moment, enraptured in the moment of the song. That didn't last long, before the entire room erupted in applause. Blushing furiously, Rarity returned to her seat, pausing to catch a rose thrown by a random patron.

Sitting across from me, she nibbled on the rose and smirked at me with a raised eyebrow. “So was my singing too horrible for you?”

“My lady, that song made me want a drink, for entirely different reasons. I feel the sudden need for a toast!” And with perfect timing, the crazy green pony arrived at my side with a tray of drinks in tow. And thus began the first of many toasts that night.

Author's Notes:

And thus begins the lyrical journey through my horrid attempts at ponifying songs. This is what happens when you make me listen to the same songs, three times per day, for three years straight. Damn I hate my job.

This is an outtake, and has no definite place in the timeline of R4R. Take it with a grain of salt. And mebbe some lime, and a shot of tequila.