My New Life with Ponies!?
Chapter 33: Equestria Games and the American Spirit
Previous Chapter Next ChapterToday was the day; after months and months of preparations, the Equestria Games were finally happening! The Friendship Express chugged along on its way towards the Crystal Empire, hauling its passengers: The Ponyville Delegation. Among the attendees were Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Bulk Biceps, Thunderlane, the Cutie Mark Crusaders (consisting of Scootaloo, Nyx, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle), and several others, all eager to go for gold in the games. One other passenger was along for the ride: Spike the dragon. However, unlike the others, Spike was a little more on the worried side. This came not because of his destination, but of what had occurred earlier that morning.
Spike had been awakened bright and early, several hours before Celestia was to raise the sun to start the day. Twilight had woken him up so that they could triple check Scootaloo and Nyx’s bags and make sure they had everything they would need for the trip, all without waking the two fillies. After that, Twilight bid her farewell, having to teleport to the Empire ahead of time to fulfill a few ‘princess duties’. This left Spike wide awake at a time when nopony else was. So, he decided to start his morning regimen early.
After locking up, Spike made his way to the family’s training clearing in the Everfree forest. Here Spike pulled out of his sack a little something special that he had learned to train in recently: a near perfect copy of DJ’s assassin’s outfit. It was only a near copy because it lacked a majority of the straps and weapon holders that DJ’s had. Spike had asked his marefriend, Rarity, to create it on whim after seeing the outfit on one of the games, labeled Assassin’s Creed, in DJ’s shed. It was white on the outside, with a red inner coating and a large brown belt and red sash around the middle.
After adorning his attire, Spike got to work. He started with simple exercise: running, push-ups, pull-ups, etc. Taking roughly thirty minutes, Spike then moved on to his sparring practice. He unsheathed his two brace blades and began hammering on the sparing trees that were already covered in scratches and scars from previous sessions. This took over an hour as Spike ended up letting out all of his pent up feelings on his tree, ending with a tearful dragon staring into the nearby river, longing for his big brother to return safe. It was at this point where everything went downhill.
“Well, well, well. What is it that I see here? A little hatchling crying into a river?” said a mocking voice from behind Spike. The worst part of it being that Spike recognized this voice. It was one that he hadn’t heard in several years and had hoped would never hear again. Spike turned his head slightly to see a tall, red-scaled dragon sneering down at his cloaked form. It was Garble, the teenage dragon that tried to kill both Spike and his friends. Behind him, Spike could also see two of Garble’s lackeys: the purple dragon with long hair and the fat, brown dragon with a mace-like tail. Spike could just feel the anger and irritation growing within him.
“Hey, wait, man!” cried the purple dragon. “Isn’t that Spike? From the Migration a few years back?” Garble took another look down at the cloaked dragon before him, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the recognition.
“I don’t believe it, it is that little traitor!” Garble cried.
“What are you doing here, Garble?” Spike asked without even turning to look at the elder dragon.
“Just doing a flyby, looking for something to eat. And it looks like we just found something. I bet a pony-dragon will taste just right. Or maybe we’ll just head on over to the all you can eat pony buffet nearby.” Spike suddenly stood up from his position and turned towards the provoker.
With only his eyes being seen from within the hood, Spike retorted, “If you go anywhere near Ponyville, I will put you in the ground!”
“Oooh! Little dragon thinks he’s a big shot now, huh?” Garble teased, his two Hench-dragons snickering behind him. “What gives you such confidence, eh?” Garble puts out a claw and pokes Spike in the chest, “Shorty!”
Faster than Garble can see, Spike grabs ahold of his wrist strongly, making the teenager wince in pain. “I am not the same dragon you met back then. I’ve been getting stronger, faster, and deadlier. And I have a pony to thank for that. Now I suggest you get lost before we both do something we’ll regret,” Spike said while letting go of Garble.
The elder dragon growled in anger; no hatchling was going to threaten him! “Not on your life, shrimp!” With a quick swipe of his claws, Garble struck. Spike was faster, moving underneath the blow and running between Garble’s legs, scratching them with his claws. Garble winced in pain and turned to throw a punch right at Spike’s face, only for it to be caught by a claw that was just a tad bit bigger than his own. He looked up into the glaring face of a dragon that was easily two feet taller than he was; a dragon with purple scales and green spines. With a quick twist of his hand, the taller dragon twisted Garble’s arm until a stomach churning crack was heard. Garble yelled out in pain from his broken arm, but soon silenced as a blade was pressed up against his neck.
“Do you know what this is, Garble?” asked the dragon, who Garble now realized was Spike, somehow grown larger. “This is orichalcum. You know, the magical metal that is known to be especially excellent against dragonhide. One quip twitch on my wrist, and I’m gonna need my marefriend to do some blood cleaning on this coat. Now, neither of us want that, do we?” Garble shook his head feverishly, fear ever present in his eyes. “Good.” Spike took his blade from Garble’s neck and then tossed the dragon away. “I never want to see you three near my home again, got it?” The three dragons nodded in fear. “Then get lost!” With determination, all three took flight, Garble having a slight problem due to his busted arm.
“You’re psycho man! Psycho!” they cried as they flew off, never to be seen again. Spike smirked in triumph before shrinking back down to his original size. Spike looked over himself, checking everywhere, determining that he was indeed back to normal. With wide-eyes Spike only just now realized what he had done.
“Did-did I really just do that? How did I grow? Is-is this a special power of mine? Can I change my form?” Thinking intently, Spike suddenly found himself much taller. Looking over his taller body with a hearty laugh, Spike only had one thing on his mind. DJ is gonna freak when I show him this!
Returning to the present, Spike found himself in the middle of a cheer session for the Ponyville Delegation. He cheered right along until everypony got back to work, finishing up some last minute training. About an hour later, the delegation arrived in the Crystal Empire, Spike being the last off due to carrying the massive amount of bags. It probably would be no trouble if changed his size, but he wanted to keep it a surprise until it was needed. Putting the bags down near the CMC, Spike said, “It's all in there, gang! Leave it to Spike, champion gear-carrier for all your gear-carrying needs.”
“And the Ponyville flag? You sure? And what about the flagpole?” asked a worried Apple Bloom.
“In with the portable ramp!” Spike replied happily while patting the bag, accidentally pushing the bag cart and falling over.
“Give it a rest, Apple Bloom,” said Scootaloo.
“Aw, she's just nervous, that's all. Perfectly understandable. Whenever I'm afraid I'll forget something or start to panic, I have a simple trick. I count to ten, and by the time I'm done, I've calmed myself enough to get the job done right every time. Easy-peasy, cider-squeezy!” Out of nowhere, two crystal ponies, wearing guard armor and carrying a chair between them, grabbed Spike and started off with him. “Hey! Put me down!”
“What’s going on?” cried Scootaloo.
“Uncle Spike!” Nyx called out in worry. Neither guard stopped and simply ran off with Spike. Spike was starting to get a little worried about where he was being taken. Suddenly, the two guards stopped with a jerk, sending Spike from the chair.
“Spike! Are you alright?” asked a familiar voice. Spike looked up to see his sister, Twilight Sparkle, as well as his sister-in-law, Cadence.
“A thousand pardons, O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious,” said one of the crystal ponies with regret in his voice.
Spike only had one thing to say, “Huh? Who the what now?”
“Thank you for bringing Spike to us,” Cadence said to the guards before addressing the small dragon. “It's okay, Spike. We'll have our hoofponies go back for your bags.”
“Uh, can they hang back a second and tell me what's going on first?” A few minutes later found Spike being fed emeralds by one crystal pony and fanned by another. “Mm! So the ponies here think I'm some kind of hero, huh?” asked Spike while munching an emerald. “More of the green ones, please? I like the green ones,” he said to his feeding pony.
“Last time you were here, you got the Crystal Heart to Princess Cadence in time to save this entire empire from destruction,” Twilight explained, being truly happy for her younger brother.
“You are known throughout my empire as ‘Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious’,” Cadence added. They led Spike out to the balcony where Twilight continued.
“Isn't that awesome? You're a big shot here, Spike! See that? That's you!” she said pointing to a large statue of Spike holding out the Crystal Heart.
“Hello, gawgeous!” Spike said in a strange accent. His happiness soon turned to sorrow, though.
“What’s wrong Spike?” asked Cadence.
“It’s just,” Spike said turning back to the statue once and then right back to the two mares. “I wish bro was here to see this.” Twilight nodded understandingly and wrapped a hoof around the young drake.
“Well, he just might. If DJ has made it back to Equestria already, he might be able to see you on television!” Cadence replied happily. Both Twilight and Spike gawked at Cadence, not knowing how she knew about TV or what she was talking about. Seeing their expressions, she explained. “You see, several months ago, the Games committee was approached by an inventor who proposed a way for the games to be seen by everypony in Equestria. He called it television, a box like screen that could take in magical broadcasts from anywhere in the world. The committee agreed to use his invention of the promise that he could get it within three hundred homes by the beginning of the month. To our surprise, his employees delivered a notice saying that they had sold just over a thousand units of the device. Isn’t that amazing! The Equestria Games will even be using a specially designed model in the stadium so everypony can see clearly what is happening on the field. You have to see it; it’s absolutely gigantic!”
“I can’t believe it,” Twilight said finally. “I can’t believe he actually got it to work.”
“What are you talking about, Twilight?” asked Cadence.
“Cadence, the television is an invention from DJ’s world! He is the inventor that approached your committee! I don’t know who these employees are, but I now my husband would only pick the perfect ponies for the job so they must be telling the truth.”
Cadence gawked at her sister-in-law. “Wow! That’s simply amazing! Television is so revolutionizing! I heard Ponywood is going to be making special broadcasts for it in a few months. DJ has really made something special this time.”
“Yeah, he does,” Spike said, taking a quick glance at his brace blades.
“And with over a thousand of them out there, DJ just might be able to glimpse his little brother igniting the torch to start of the Equestria Games!”
“I get to light the torch?! Woo hoo!” Spike said while cheering, now just silently hoping that DJ was near a TV.
*****The Changeling Hive*****
Unfortunately for Spike, DJ was nowhere near such a device. No, instead he was currently entertaining himself, as well as his two favorite guards by repeating famous movie lines that made absolutely no sense out of context.
“You can’t handle the truth! Yes, Master! Open the pod bay doors, HAL! Take your stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape! I’m gonna get Medieval on your ass! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Fasten your seatbelts; it’s gonna be a bumpy ride! I’ll have what she’s having! I’ll be back! You talkin’ to me? Game over, man! GAME OVER!!” DJ cried and fell over with a thump. Sting and Scout were doing their best not to follow suit with their laughter. DJ lifted his head and smiled with his work. Both guards suddenly went stiff; DJ knew this meant that ol’ Chrissy was coming for a visit. Speak of the devil…
…And the devil shall appear, Malice finished as the bug queen herself appeared in their sight.
“What do you want?” DJ asked, sounding rather annoyed.
“I have a treat for you, Sparkle. Instead of one test, we have several planned out for you today!” Chrysalis smiled happily at the prospect. DJ simply groaned and fell back. Narrowing her eyes at him, she redirected her attention to the guards. “Your shift is over, the night guards will be taking your place in ten minutes. I suggest you both make your exit.” With a flash of green light, Chrysalis was gone.
“Man, I wish I could do that,” DJ said dejectedly.
“Don’t you already know how to use magic?” asked Sting.
“Of course he does. I bet he just misses being able to use it,” Scout said.
“Well that’s part of it, but I was mostly talking about teleportation.”
“What’s wrong with teleporting?” Scout asked.
“I can’t do it!” DJ cried. “Out of all the magic that I wanted to learn, teleporting was right at the top of the list. So with Twilight as my guide, I try it out. And… nothing. Not even a damn spark. Again and again I try; for an entire month I tried to teleport and never once got the spell to work. I can’t freakin’ teleport and it freakin’ sucks!”
“Wow,” Scout replied. “That’s a downer. Whelp, we gotta go before the next guards see us and report us. We’ll see ya tomorrow, DJ.”
“See ya later!” Sting waved.
“Bye guys!” DJ said, lying back down on the ground.
“Oh, by the way,” Scout said looking back into the cell. DJ lifted his head, showing he was listening. “I didn’t know whether or not you wanted to know, but we heard from our scouts in Equestria that the ‘Equestria Games’ are taking place today. Hope that at least tells you how long you’ve been here. See you tomorrow, your highness.” DJ’s face was blank.
“WHAT?!” he yelled into his cell. “Today is the Equestria Games?! What the hell?! Aww! I wanted to see the games! Today was supposed to be my big day for television! This SUCKS!!” DJ wallowed in self-pity for a moment, before it was broken by a familiar, yet pleasant voice.
“Sir? I am detecting broadcast signals in the air around us,” said Omni. DJ looked down to the device wrapped around his neck. The changelings had tried to pry it off, but due to the makeup of the device connecting with his DNA, they had no choice, but to allow him to keep it. Didn’t matter since he couldn’t transform for another couple months. Never should have used up all the power. Takes forever for a proper recharge.
“Ugh, then that means Flim and Flam were able to at least get the minimum quota. Guess I owe them that bonus, eh?”
“Sir, if I am reading these signals right, I might be able to connect to them.”
“What?” DJ asked, now wide awake.
“I maybe be able to send out a call, sir!”
With wide eyes, DJ gave Omni his answer. “Do it.” Omni got to work.
As DJ was busy with Omni, two certain changelings were in a back alley cave, discussing our hero. “Is he worth?” asked Sting.
“I think he is, but we need a little more. We just need to find out what he can do for us,” replied Scout.
“She will be pleased if he is the one we need.”
“Yeah, if DJ is really the one to tie this all together, then this plan really will work out in the end.” With that, the two changelings made their way toward their respective homes.
*****The Crystal Empire*****
Spike was feeling much better about himself at the current moment. After a few mess-ups earlier in the day, including being unable to light the torch to start the games, a failed singing performance, and then leading up to saving the games from a large glacier crashing down on to everypony, Spike was finally ready to do his part for the games. What was his task? To ignite the finishing ceremony’s fireworks display! He watched along with his friends and family as the night sky was lit up. Everything else had gone smoothly, with Ponyville winning a bunch of medals, having the most out of all the towns and cities in the country. Even Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were able to take home second place silver medals. And all of it was show cased on the big screen in the middle of the stadium which was proudly displaying the final medal count to the crowd.
Then, the screen screeched out, causing everypony to look to it with suspicion. Down in the broadcast room of the stadium, the two ponies overlooking the broadcast were going frantic trying to find out what was causing the interference. Then one of them accidentally flipped a switch and a voice came over his headphones, making his eyes widen. “Put this on the screen!” he cried. His coworker looked at him like he was crazy, but he wouldn’t have any of it. “Put it on, NOW!” Frightened slightly, he flipped the correct switches and everypony could see and hear what was causing the interference. Twilight, Spike, and everypony else watched in awe as the screen turned black and then immediately a face filled it, a familiar face.
“Hello? Hello! This thing on?” said the pony that was on screen.
“We are currently live, sir. Whoever is watching should be able to both see and hear you.”
“We’re live? Oh, ehem. To whoever is listening, do not be alarmed. I am Prince DJ Sparkle of Equestria. Repeat, I am Prince DJ of Equestria. I am currently being held in the Changeling Hive in the Badlands. Please, whoever is listening, please tell the princesses! Queen Chrysalis keeps experimenting on me, trying to turn me into one of her changelings. All attempts have failed so far, but I don’t how much longer that will hold up. Please—“
“Hey! Who are you talking to?” asked a harsh voice from outside the screen.
“Nopony!” DJ quickly replied. Whispering, he continued, “I don’t how much time I have left! SOMEPONY GET ME OUTTA HERE!!”
“It’s time for your session,” spoke a feminine, yet sinister, voice. It was a voice recognized by the Sparkle family as well as the princesses. DJ started to back up on screen.
“Hey, wait, what are you doing with that needle?” Nopony could see anything besides DJ’s face of horror and the laugh of an evil queen. “Get away from me with that!” Then he whispered, “Omni, cut the transmission!”
“Right away, sir!” The last thing they saw was DJ’s face in horror and Chrysalis say,
“You will be mine!” Then the screen cut out and went to static. Nopony said anything, though there was a certain mare that was doing something. Celestia gasped as the saw her former student. Twilight’s coat had turned pure white in color and her mane and tail were made entirely of fire. Twilight’s rage had boiled over into a rage shift. Spike and Shining Armor both looked ready to do the same, if they could. Twilight got up and began to head towards the Crystal Palace, muttering along the way,
“That bitch is gonna pay for this.”
*****The Changeling Hive*****
DJ was rubbing his shoulder where a particularly long needle had been embedded. He was also glaring harshly at the one responsible for his pain. “Was that really necessary?”
“Hmm, well it was supposed to work after all,” Chrysalis explained. “Now, then guards! Take him to the chamber!”
“Chamber? What chamber?” DJ asked as he was dragged away. It took another good thirty minutes before they arrived at another sealed cave. Once forced inside, DJ found himself face to face with a medieval torture room, complete with a locking device that would all of his limbs and was guarded by both Sting and Scout. “What are they doing here?” he asked indicating his friends.
“Since you harbor such hatred for them, I felt it necessary for them to be present while we poke and prod you,” she explained with a sadistic smile.
“You’re evil!” he cried as he was put in the holding device.
“No, I’m curious. There’s a huge difference. Now where is that prober?”
“Wait Chrysalis!” DJ cried out, not wanting to know what a ‘prober’ did. “Is this all really necessary? Why do you need to keep doing this?”
“Because my army will once again march on Equestria very soon. And it will bring me such glee to see Celestia’s face when she’s that her own son is leading the charge against her!”
“Why do you need to attack Equestria? It doesn’t make any sense!”
“Of course it doesn’t to you! Your citizens aren’t starving and dying! Mine are! Without love, soon there will be no changelings! We can only go so long without it and we’re running out of time!”
“Then make peace with my country! I know my mother would be willing if all you did was explain your situation. Celestia would never your people to die!”
“Never! I would rather die myself than ask for help from ponies! The very thought is sickening!”
“Listen to me, Chrysalis,” DJ pleaded. “You’re letting your revenge cloud your mind! Let it go! Get off that train!”
“What train?” she asked. All the while, Scout and Sting watched in awe at the verbal battle between DJ and their queen, but then they heard the sound of music growing in the background. “You’re not, are you?” Chrysalis accused.
“Just listen! I’m trying to save you and your kind!” With that, DJ started to sing a song he hoped with all his heart would change Chrysalis’ mind.
Staff edit: Copyrighted lyrics removed
“Don’t you see, Chrysalis? If our two races work together, we can all live in peace. Don’t you want that for your children?”
“No. The ponies will fall!” Chrysalis replied harshly.
DJ got angry. “Then you doom your kind, Chrissy! All the changelings will die because of you!”
“Enough!! Guards! Take him back to his cell! I don’t want to see this thing for a while.”
“Yes, Queen Mother,” Scout and Sting replied in unison. Together, they released DJ from the mechanism and led him back to his cell. Once he was back in, Scout spoke up. “Do you really think there can be peace between our kinds?”
DJ sat there for a minute, thinking of what to say. Finally, he sighed and said, “No. Not so long as Chrysalis remains queen, there will never be peace between us. It’s just not possible. Now, if Chrysalis were no longer on the throne that would be a different story altogether.”
“Such talk would never work,” Scout said dejectedly. “Even if there were others who shared such an idea, we would be few against many. We would be outmatched.” Suddenly, Scout found himself being pulled into the cell gate, being forced to stare right into DJ’s eyes.
“Don’t you ever say anything like that!” DJ warned. “Numbers mean nothing, so long as you have the will to fight.” DJ released Scout and leaned back a little. “Allow me to tell you both a story, one that is both inspiring and true. It is the tale of my birth country; the story of America. Long ago, my country was once ruled by a tyrant king of one of the greatest empires in the world. My country back then was thirteen small colonies that were ruled by that empire that was an ocean away. The king never even set foot upon the land that he ruled. He taxed my ancestors, consistently raising and raising it until it was ludicrously high. No one in their right mind would pay such prices. There were many other factors as well, mostly due to the imperial troops being douches. Well, one day they had enough and rebelled against the king. Their army numbered in the thousands, while the empire had tens of thousands!
They were outmatched heavily, but the Americans never gave up! No matter what, they never stopped fighting for what they believed in. They didn’t think that the king was fit to rule them, so they chose a life without that king. The Revolutionary War, as it is known, lasted for a few years, but in the end, the rebels won! Forcing the empire’s troops out of the country and declaring themselves independent! The courage of the Americans infected other countries as well, a particularly gruesome one in the country of France comes to mind. Though I am not particularly fond of how the French dealt with their former monarchy, beheading seems a little extreme if you ask me, they did produce a phrase that still causes inspiration to this day!”
Sting and Scout were in awe at the description of American bravery. Scout himself felt invigorated by it. It was awe inspiring and he felt he could take on anything with that courage. “What was the phrase?” he asked eagerly.
DJ smiled and took in a big breath. “VIVE LA REVOLUTION!! It means, ‘Long Live the Revolution’.”
Scout smiled, committing it to memory. “I like it. Though, would Queen Chrysalis falling really change anything?”
“Dude, if you got rid of Chrysalis, I would personally forge a peace treaty between our two nations,” DJ said while reclining against the wall. “I’ll see you both in the morning.”
“Good night, DJ,” Scout and Sting said, leaving the cell area so the night guards could return. The two changelings had a lot to think over, but were interrupted from their thoughts by another changeling, covered in the darkness of the cave it was in. This one was slightly bigger than them and was female as well.
“Well, is he the one?” she asked.
“He is,” Scout answered. “With his help, everything will change for the better. With DJ on our side, we truly have a chance to overthrow the Queen.”
“Good,” she replied. “I will speak with him soon and decide for myself if your words ring true.”
“They will, my princess.”
Princess Insectum walked into the light partially, displaying her regalia. “I hope so, Scout. I truly hope so.”
*****The Crystal Empire*****
A fairly large cart rolled along roads of the Crystal Empire. Its unassuming appearance kept all from bothering it and its twin driver. Both stallions with red manes, the only telling between the two was the red moustache on only one brother’s muzzle. Flim and Flam drove their cart through the city, with the palace as a destination. They stopped just short, a few blocks away, allowing their two passengers to disembark.
“Are you sure about this ma’am?” asked Flim.
The mare looked at him from beneath her cloak. “Yes, we will be fine. Thank you two, for your help in getting us here.” She elbowed her companion.
“Uh, yeah, thanks,” replied the husky, yet still feminine voice of her traveling partner.
“Well, you two take care now, and be careful. Tell our employer we said ‘hello’,” Flam cried as the two started off back down the way they came. The mare watched them go for a second, then turned back to the Crystal Palace. They had taken nearly a day to travel here after hearing the news of what happened at the end of the Equestria Games. She knew she had to come, despite the circumstances between her and another who was no doubt here. She was suddenly nudged by her friend.
“Come on, let’s go save your brother,” she said, while starting off for the castle. With a sigh, the mare started forward, looking to the castle with her glasses-covered eyes. We’re coming DJ. It’s my turn to save you.
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