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My New Life with Ponies!?

by DJSkywalker

Chapter 30: Well, Buck

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Well, Buck

Twilight was falling, falling through multitudes of colors and hues that swirled around her. How did she get here? What was happening? The last thing she remembered was holding on to her loving husband as they watched their only way back home to Equestria rip itself apart. Then DJ had whispered something in to her ear. What did he say?

 

“The girls need their mother more than they need me.”

 

That’s what DJ said and then he shoved her, shoved her with those accursed powers of his. Twilight’s eyes widened as she realized that she was falling through the portal. She strained to look where she had fallen from and seeing the colors begin to dissolve into a black nothingness. For a moment, Twilight feared that the blackness would catch up to her, but those fears were put to rest as she suddenly flew through a wall of light and came out flying and sliding on a sparkling floor and coming to a slow stop.

 

“Twilight!” several voices cried out. Twilight strained her neck to see several ponies that meant so much to her. There was her brothers, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and her two precious daughters, all looking upon her with worried happiness. She smiled weakly at them, but then let realization sink in: if she had gone through the portal that means that DJ couldn’t! Twilight turned her head back to the mirror and saw the glass beginning to crack and creak.

 

Staring at the mirror in horror, Twilight cried out to it. “DJ!!” And with a loud crash, the mirror shattered into innumerable shards that littered the floor of the room. She looked at the destruction with a thousand-yard stare, not wanting to believe what was before her. From behind her, she could hear somepony ask a question.

 

“Where is DJ? What is going on here?” Twilight couldn’t move, nor could she bother focusing on the voice, but she could answer the question.

 

“Chrysalis,” Twilight said, wanting to put venom in her voice, but couldn’t bring herself out of her despair to do so. “She sabotaged the portal. She destabilized it to the point where it would only accept four more through it before collapsing on itself. DJ threw me through the portal and stayed behind.” Now she could feel the tears as they cascaded silently down her cheeks. “Why?” she asked aloud through her tears. “Why can’t we ever just stay together!?” That broke the proverbial dam and Twilight fell into sobbing. Only slightly did she feel an arm wrap around her in comfort, but couldn’t place whose it was.

 

Everypony else was in shocked disbelief. A pony whom they had come to care about was trapped in another world with no way of coming back. Celestia felt her heart begin to break. So much had been happening lately and this was another log thrown on the fire. First Berry and now DJ, the princess thought to herself. What is happening to my children? She bowed her head low, letting the despair sink in.

 

Shining Armor and Cadence just stood there, watching as Spike put a loving arm over his adoptive sister’s neck and bring her close. Nyx and Scootaloo just couldn’t believe what they had heard. They may never see their father again, something that both of them had forever feared. It was slow, but both fillies began to tear up at the loss. Spike focused on Twilight, despite his sadness. Twilight needed comfort more than anypony else at the moment and Spike had to be the one to do it. As he held her tight, Spike began to rub her back gently, trying to ease her crying, but then he felt something. Something strange that didn’t belong. He tried to wrap his claw around it and found that it was circular in shape. Lightly, he tugged at it and it plucked off without a sound. Still holding his sister, Spike brought up the strange object to where he could see it and when he did, his eyes grew.

 

“Twilight,” Spike whispered, hoping to gently get her attention, but to no avail. “Twilight,” he tried again, this time getting the result of her looking him in the eyes. “I think you need to see this.” Spike brought the object out from behind her back and showed it to her. “It was on your back and it has the same symbol as bro’s omnitrix. Maybe it means something.”

 

Everypony was looking at the circular badge now, not knowing at all what to do. They simply stared at it for several moments, expecting it to do…something. It was Nyx who had the courage to casually tap the center surface of the green badge. She immediately regretted it as a beam of green light suddenly shot out from the center and spread out in the shape of a small cone. Inside the light, an image of DJ, still human, became visible and began to speak.

 

“Hello, Twilight,” there was strange whirring ring to the voice, but it was definitely his. “If you’re watching this, then something happened to keep me stuck on this side of the portal. Hehe,” he chuckles softly while rubbing his neck. “Ya know, you just gotta hate Force premonitions, sometimes. I’m sorry if I did something stupid or reckless that brought this on, truly I am. I hate it with everything I’ve got when we’re separated and this time is no different. But, Twilight, I want you to know that I do love you and don’t you dare believe otherwise. I love Spike, Scootaloo, and Nyx and I would never do anything to purposefully hurt any of you. Just another part of my personal luck, I guess. *Sigh*.”

 

Twilight watched her husband with tear-filled eyes, both of sadness and joy. Then the holographic face of her lover changed to one that was sterner and serious. “I want you to do something for me Twilight, something I need you to do.” Twilight stared with a breath held. Anything, my love, she whispered in her thoughts. “Don’t you dare give up on me! Even if the portal was destroyed, I will come back. I don’t know how or when, but know that I will be back and nothing will stop me. I’ll find my home, I promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, and I’ll stick one of Pinkie’s super spicy cupcakes in my eye if I don’t. I love you, all of you, and I’ll see you as soon as I can.” He gave them group a sad smile and the light shimmered and disappeared.

 

Everypony was silent, tears falling on several of them. Nopony knew what to say, if anything, for all they had now was hope. Twilight turned towards the destroyed mirror, a small, sad smile gracing her lips. You stubborn, crazy, fool. You better come back DJ, we need you here.

 

**********

 

“Well, this sucks,” DJ said as he looked over the destruction before him. There was shattered stone and concrete all of the school grounds, some covered in snow from impact. The students all around stared in awe at the sudden implosion of their school statue, but none made a sound. DJ rubbed his neck, now trying to think about how he was supposed to get out of this mess. A voice interrupted his thoughts, however.

 

“You alright there, sugar cube?” DJ turned his head towards the sound, seeing the humanized Applejack looking at him with concern. Glancing behind her, he could see the other five girls doing the same. DJ let out a big sigh and glanced back at the destroyed statue.

 

“Yeah, I’m alright, physically anyway. Emotionally? I’m just getting sick and tired of this crap. I swear that after this is over and something like it happens again, I might just go and finally commit myself into the crazy house. Ah well, gotta focus on the present.” A small, feminine groan came from behind all of them, originating from the small crater in the ground. His face suddenly turned sour and approached the lone figure laying beaten and battered within.

 

Approaching the perimeter, DJ stared down in disgust at the defeated changeling queen. Then something clicked inside DJ’s mind. There was no way that Chrysalis and twenty changelings were able to sneak into the Crystal Empire, through the palace, and into the mirror portal. How would she even know about its existence when there was no recordings of it anywhere in the archives? (Twilight checked, not a single reference). That meant only one thing: there was at least one more portal and Chrysalis was the only one who would know where it was. DJ bent his knees so he was closer to where she lay and spoke.

 

“You have done a lot of harm here, bug, so here’s what’s gonna happen. You are going to tell me where the other portal to Equestria is, then I’m gonna drag you and your ‘children’s’ beaten flanks back to Canterlot where you’re gonna be locked away for a long time. So, let’s get this started.”

 

“Why would I tell you anything, pony!?” she spat out, choking on each breath. “You will get nothing from me! You here? Nothing!”

 

DJ growled under his breath and stood, raising a hand out in front of him. Chrysalis suddenly found herself levitating above her impact spot, grasping at an invisible hand that clenched around her neck. “You will tell me everything, because if you don’t, then I will kill you.” At the tingle in her eyes, DJ added, “And don’t think I won’t. I killed King Sombra without remorse, what makes you different in my eyes?”

 

Chrysalis stared in fear. This pony was not like the others; his actions were hostile, animalistic, and predatorial. He was not someone to anger, but she found it within herself to resist. She would never help a pony, especially not the son of her most hated enemy, Princess Celestia. “Never!” she said through strained breaths.

 

DJ stared at her for a few moments, his eyes bearing deep into her very soul. The six girls behind him watched in horror, truly believing he would give the final strike. Instead, DJ sighed and dropped his hand, causing Chrysalis to drop back to the ground. She looked up to him and started to chuckle softly under her breath, believing that he truly was a weak pony. That is, until a fist a crashed into her face, sending her into the depths of unconsciousness. “Shut up you damn bug,” DJ mumbled under his breath.

 

He took another moment to think on his situation and on how he could go about fixing it. Then it hit him, he had the perfect invention for this! DJ opened up his jacket and reach inside, his hand, unseen, grasping for an object that lay in the depths. “Aha!” he said with pride and pulled out a pair of green shaded glasses. “This is the perfect chance to use these!”

 

“And what are those?” asked Sunset Shimmer, looking at the glasses with curiousity.

 

DJ held them out proudly, showcasing them to the girls. “These are my special magic tracking sunglasses. The basic concept is that it should be able to track magic resonances and trail them back to their source. You know, if they don’t explode or catch fire.”

 

“Beg pardon?!” Rarity exclaimed.

 

“Yeah, my inventions have a habit of either exploding, bursting into flames, or some combination of the two. I don’t have the greatest luck if you haven’t caught on yet.” He shrugged. “Here goes nothing.” DJ placed the glasses on and pressed the little button on the side, lighting up the inside of the shades like an HUD. DJ scanned around, focusing on Chrysalis and noticed a light trail of magic emanating from her and heading north. “Ha! They work, sweet! And I gotta trail! Now I just need to follow it right back to the portal and I’m home free!”

 

“Wow, you really got this kinda thing down, don’t you?” Sunset commented.

 

He shrugged. “I’m a realistic optimist. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Comes in handy, if I do say so myself. Now, AJ? Can you get me some rope?”

 

“No problem, sugar!” Applejack went off, coming back a few minutes with several coils of rope. “This good enough, darlin’?”

 

DJ looked at her, then the ropes, then back at AJ. “Are those from your locker?” he questioned, pointing at the rope.

 

“Eeyup. Always good to keep spares.”

 

DJ’s eye twitched a little, lost at the naivety of a teenage girl keeping rope in her school locker. Shaking his head, he took the rope from AJ and started walking towards the changelings. A few minutes later, DJ had all the changelings, including Chrysalis, all tied up in a circular group. He rubbed his hands together and grabbed a long piece of rope that was attached to the captives. Then he turned back to the girls and smiled.

 

“Well girls, thank you all for your help and it was great meeting you. Sorry for making a mess of your dance, though.”

 

“Don’t sweat it dude,” Rainbow said, waving it off. “’Bout time we got some excitement around here.”

 

“What are you going to do with the changelings?” asked Fluttershy.

 

“Like I said, I’m gonna drag ‘em back to Canterlot where they can stand trial.”

 

“How are y’all gonna do that?” Applejack asked.

 

“Ooh, ooh! Are you gonna pull out an awesome, supercharged sportscar that can scale walls, shoot missiles, and has an artificial intelligence?” Pinkie questioned while bouncing.

 

DJ stared at her for a moment before remembering who he was talking to. “No Pinkie, I’m not gonna get Kit. I’m gonna fly actually.”

 

“Fly?” they all asked. DJ smirked and began to lift of the ground. Their faces were enough to make him smile.

 

“Energized flight,” he explained. “Comes in handy for situations like this.” DJ started to rise a little higher, using the Force to fully lift up the chained changelings. “Thanks for everything girls! See ya later!”

 

“Come back anytime!” they called out to him, waving as he took off after the magic trail. DJ waved back and flew off, full speed ahead.

 

**********

 

Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight, her daughters, Spike, and the Elements of Harmony were in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. Twilight and her family had just finished recounting their adventure in the human world, inevitable ending with DJ being trapped on the other side. They knew that he was attempting to find another way home, but the odds were slim at best. The girls didn’t take the news all that well, with Applejack being both angry and sad enough to almost attack a nearby guard in frustration.

 

“This is truly troubling news, sister,” Luna said after a time of silence. “However, DJ’s disappearance will not only affect his loved ones, but as a prince of Equestria, it will be noticed by the nobles sooner or later. I know that it’s hard to focus on politics at this point in time, but it must be addressed before anything leaks out and becomes much worse.”

 

“I know, Luna,” Celestia sighed. “But how do we tell them? That ‘poof’ their prince is just gone? That won’t go over well at all.”

 

“Or you could tell them the truth without giving the truth!” suggested an unseen voice. Everypony jumped and the source made himself visible to the world. It was Discord, of course. Who else? He was hovering the air, a hammock beneath him while he was holding a margarita. “Nobles will believe almost anything you tell them anyway, so it shouldn’t be that hard. What are we talking about anyways?”

 

“DJ has gone missing,” Twilight said, sorrow still plain in her voice. Discord straightened up from his laid back position and stared at the princess.

 

“What do you mean my best friend has gone missing? Missing where?”

 

“Chrysalis destroyed the portal to the human world which my husband is currently stuck in. We have no way to get him back right now.”

 

“Oh my, that’s not good. Unfortunately, mystic law prevents me from overstepping my bounds into that world. I may be crazy, but even I’m not stupid enough to break those laws.”

 

“What about Genie?” Nyx asked with desperation in her tone. “Couldn’t he help?”

 

Discord looked very nervous for some reason. “Well, about that…”

 

“What is it?” asked Celestia, a little intrigued by the chaos lord’s actions.

 

“Weeeelll, I was supposed to just tell DJ, but since he isn’t here at the moment… Okay long story short, Genie has been forbidden to interfere with DJ’s life by his superiors. He can’t help him out anymore.”

 

Every jaw in the room dropped. “What?!” came a chorused question. Discord was rubbing his neck, both in sadness and nervousness.

 

“It’s true.”

 

“Why? Why can’t Genie help dad out anymore?” asked a teary-eyed Scootaloo.

 

Discord sighed and looked directly at all of the gathered ponies. “Because DJ has broken a wish.” Another gasp and some looks of befuddlement. “Let me explain. You see, when a genie wish has been compromised, it means that the recipient of the wish nulls a portion of the contract they made with the genie. Doing so prevents any form of genie intervention hence forth. And DJ has done as such. Though, I don’t think he realizes it yet.”

 

“What did he do?” asked a somber Pinkie.

 

“You all know of his lightsabers, the ones that grant him powers?” They all nod. “Well, they don’t do that anymore.”

 

“Huh?” they asked.

 

“But DJ still has his powers,” Spike pointed out.

 

Discord nodded. “That’s because our friend has inexplicably absorbed the powers of his swords. In other words, those powers are now his, permanently. Draining those swords has nulled his first wish, preventing Genie from ever interfering again.”

 

“Then how is DJ supposed to come back? How do we even know if he’s still alive?” Applejack asked angrily.

 

“I don’t know how he will get back, but you do have a way to know that he is okay. That little badge you have there is linked to DJ’s omnitrix which in turn is linked to his life force. As long as the badge shows green, then DJ still lives. Quite simple, actually.” Discord snapped his paw and suddenly donned a golfer’s outfit. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have eighteen rounds to do with the minotaur chief. Ta ta!” With a ‘pop’, the chaos lord was gone, leaving the ponies to ponder his words.

 

“So what do we do, princesses?” asked Rarity who was by Spike’s side for support.

 

Luna and Celestia looked to each other and shared weary look. Celestia outwardly sighed. “I shall inform the courts tomorrow. It won’t be pretty. Twilight, you and everypony else should return to Ponyville and try to have some form of normalcy. The ponies nodded and were on the next train to Ponyville. As they all sat on the train, silence reigned, nopony willing to say anything. That is until Nyx looked at her sister, wondering if she was asleep, then gasping out loud.

 

“Oh my Celestia!” she cried. Everypony looked to her differently. Some irritably, others curious. Scootaloo looked surprised by her younger sister’s outburst.

 

“What? What?” Scootaloo said, turning her head in circles.

 

“Scootaloo! Your flank!” Nyx said pointing at Scoot’s flank.

 

“My flank?” Scoots looked back and her eyes bugged. Then with new fervor, she started bouncing in her seat. “Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!”

 

“Girls?” asked their mother. “What’s going on?”

 

“Mom! Mom! I got my cutie mark! I got my cutie mark!” Everypony now looked surprised and looked at Scootaloo’s flank. It was a bright white star with a trail of purple as it shot past three other white stars. “Apple Boom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky are gonna freak!” Scootaloo found herself soon hugged by her mother, Rainbow Dash, and Nyx.

 

“That’s awesome squirt! It’s a pretty cool mark, too.” Rainbow smiled proudly at her niece.

 

“It truly is spectacular Scootaloo, but how did you get it?” Twilight asked, wondering where her child could have possibly obtained her cutie mark.

 

Scootaloo and Nyx looked at each other, eyes wide. “You don’t think…?” they said in unison and Scoots hoof pumped.

 

“Oh yeah! That had to have been it!”

 

“What had to have been it?” the ponies around her asked.

 

“You see when Spike told us to run away as he took on the changelings…” Nyx began as the girls retold their story.

 

*****Human Equestria – Thirty Minutes before Portal Closed*****

 

“Keep running girls!” Apple Bloom cried as the four crusaders ran from the sounds of Spike fighting off the Changelings. The girls didn’t want to leave him behind, but there were too many of those bugs and the look in Spike’s eyes left no room for argument. So, they ran as fast as they could.

 

“Apple Bloom look out!” Nyx yelled out. Bloom turned her head forward in time to stop herself from running into another changeling. The others pulled into a sudden stop right behind her, petrified by the bug-human hybrid. It grinned evilly down upon the young girls, licking its fangs in anticipation. Suddenly, the creature engulfed itself in green fire, transforming itself into… Diamond Tiara?!

 

“Diamond Tiara?!” they all said out of shock. But then the pseudo-Tiara began to verbally assault them.

 

“You good for nothing blanks!” it said in perfect mockup of DT’s voice. “You’ll never be anything, you hear me? Nothings! That’s all you are! Especially you,” DT’s eyes trained on one girl in particular, who was shaking from the onslaught, “Scootaloo.” She started advancing on the girls, prompting them to back into the lockers; they were cornered.

 

“You have no real talent. You’re not good a single thing, so much so even your own parents left you. No doubt that your new family will do the same once they realize it too.”

 

Nyx watched as her sister was verbally attacked, seeing Scootaloo shake in fear of the words. Nyx knew that changelings could read emotions and thoughts, but never something like this. This was brutal, even for them. She looked over to Scootaloo, who had tears beginning to form in her eyes. Nyx’s eyes hardened at the changeling, Bloom and Sweetie glaring it down as well, though to little effect. Scootaloo suddenly clenched her hands into fists.

 

“No,” she whispered, just loud enough to be heard. “No,” she said louder. “You’re wrong! I’m not talentless, I have loads of talent! You know what that means? It means I could be anything. I could do anything! So stuff those words right back you plothole you stupid bug! And get lost!”

 

The changelings burst into flames, shaking with anger in its true form, and the lunged at the girls. They screamed and jumped out of the way, causing the changeling to knock itself out on the lockers. The door it banged into opened up, revealing a scooter within. Scootaloo looked at, feeling some form of familiarity.

 

“Whose locker is this?” Scoots asked Bloom.

 

“Yours, er, well the other you, I ‘spose.”

 

“Great, then I’m not stealing. Just borrowing from myself!” Scoots grabbed the scooter and got on it. “Okay everyone, hope aboard!”

 

“How is this gonna carry us out?” Sweetie asked as the stood up on the scooter. Scootaloo just shot her wry grin and pulled a small, snail-shell like device from her pocket.

 

“With the turbogizer, that’s how!”

 

“Wait, you still have that?” asked Nyx.

 

“Dad never said I had to give it back,” she defended. Nyx just sighed and face-palmed. “Stop worrying, this is gonna be great!” Scootaloo attached the device to the scooter and powered it up. An instant later, all four girls were barreling down the hallway on a scooter that was easily going ninety.

 

**********

 

“And that’s what happened,” Scootaloo said, finishing up their story. Everypony was surprised with how the girls had taken on a changeling, but Twilight was just happy that her daughters were safe. Scootaloo getting her cutie mark was a good bonus, too. She pulled the two in for another hug, getting two hugs back in return.

 

“I’m just glad you’re safe and I know your father is going to be so proud of you when he gets back.”

 

“Thanks mom. And hey, can we hold on celebrating it until he does come back? I don’t want to have a party without dad.”

 

“Of course we can, sweetheart. That okay with you Pinkie?” Twilight turned to see the pink earth pony already writing up plans for Scootaloo’s cute-ceañera. Pinkie smiled sheepishly and hid the plans away in her mane.

 

“Sure thing, Twilight. We can wait. It’ll hurt, but anything for the ‘star’! Ehehe, I punned!” Everypony rolled their eyes at Pinkie and then looked to see that Ponyville was almost in reach. They each prepared themselves, worried about the friend who had wormed his way into their hearts and lives.

 

**********

 

“This is not what I was expecting going after this damned portal!” DJ shouted over the wind. After flying for over a day, DJ was nearing the source of the magic, only to end up flying straight into a blizzard. He didn’t know how far north he was, but suspected that he was either in the equivalent of Canada or Alaska. Either way, this storm was evil!

 

DJ kept getting battered around from the winds and snow kept covering up his glasses. He was just thankful for his cold immunity otherwise this would have been much worse than it was. He just had to keep going, focusing on the family that was waiting for him to come home. His efforts proved fruitful as he saw a buildup of magical energy just ahead. DJ flew forward with new fervor, landing just outside of a frozen over cave. DJ inspected the ice covered hole, finding that the ice was the source of the magic; it was the portal.

 

DJ smiled at his luck finally turning his way. Behind him he saw that Chrysalis was finally coming to. She was still groggy, but DJ at the very least decided to gloat a little. “Morning, sleeping ugly. Ready to go?”

 

“Go?” she choked out, still in pain. “Go where? Where are we?”

 

“Back to Equis of course. We are at the portal that you used to come here. Now, I’m gonna fling you and your worthless kids through so as to make sure I don’t get eaten by something on the other side. Cool?”

 

“Wait, what?” DJ didn’t give any chance to reply as he pulled hard on the rope that was connected to the changelings, and threw them all at the portal. Chrysalis screamed as she flew through and then there was silence. After a minute, DJ was certain nothing horrible was on the other side as changeling bits were not being thrown back out. With a little pep in his step, DJ strutted through the portal himself, and nearly trotted right into a spear. DJ opened his eyes, once again a pony, to be surrounded by very angry changelings, hundreds of them. He looked up and saw Chrysalis, standing with the aid of a similar changeling to her, smiling evilly at him. “Welcome, prince, to the Changeling Hive! I hope you enjoy your stay, it’s going to be long one! AHAHAHAHA!!”

 

As Chrysalis laughed maniacally, DJ only had one last thing to say about this whole situation; one that summed up everything in the fewest words possible. “Well…Buck!”

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