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Lunacy of Love

by Akashic Brony

Chapter 1: Chapter 1 A Dragon’s Dream

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Night or day could not be told, in skies choked with ash. Buildings burned in crimson and auric flames. It was Tartarus manifested in what remained of a once wholesome village. There stood a lonely dragon amidst that field of fire. The inferno’s heat burned up his tears before they reached the dusty ground.

“I’m so sorry!” He cried into the flames.

Huddled in a pile before him were his friends in the shadow of his presence, he loomed over them. Their eyes were frozen in fear as if looking through his very person. They clung to each other, shaking. Each look they gave was another dagger in his chest. The last face felt like the greatest betrayal, it belonged to the love of his life. Writ on the white mare was pure despair.

He turned away from her and everyone else. It was then he noticed at the corner of his vision was that shadowy figure, always watching. He recognized the outline of a pony but he could never discern who.

He screamed. “What does it mean? Is it a possibility?”

The shadowy figure said nothing.

He shuddered as he voiced his worst fear. “An inevitability?!” He knew there would be no answer. There never was.

More shocking that there was a reply was the soft voice that did. “That is for thou to decide.”

Spike nearly jumped from his seat, hitting his head on the ceiling. His surroundings came quickly into focus. The train chugged along. Spike sat aboard a carriage with a window seat, watching the Equestrian landscape under the curtain of the late evening. Rolling hills and plains blurred by. Inside the carriage were world weary souls. He spied the soldier asleep, cradling his lance like the mother next to him who held her foal in a similar manner. Entering the train, he recalled first how they gave him suspicious and alarmed looks, especially the soldier. However when he posed no threat eventually their attentions waned. They slept peacefully, unaware of his private struggle.

Spike rubbed his forehead. “It’s always that nightmare…”

He had flown through the Griffin Kingdoms, investigating the mysteries of talon wrought technology. He had walked through the Zebra Tribal grasslands, learning their secret brews and their chemistry. Finally, he had braved traveling to his ancestral home of the Lizard Lords, where he tested the limits of the dragon elders’ sagacity with his own philosophical inquiry. Spike had grown in spirit and now even his body had come to match that. Near the size of Big Macintosh and with wings that he wore like a cape, the physical inadequacies that tormented his youth were gone. Despite his growth and all that he had seen, he desired of all things to return to his childhood home.

Dragons were wise however not beyond ruling with fear and fire, a cruel totalitarianism. Griffins had innovation to rival earth ponies but were warlike and aggressive, a greedy imperialism. Zebras valued vitality and spiritualism however were characterized by stony stoicism. They all had virtues and vices, he could imagine each in noble light however he found them all lacking. Lacking was love. Equestria was the home of sorcery but their true magic was the bounds shared by the three races of ponies that lived there. This was the land of his birth, his home… and where his love was.

Spike turned to his half written report… the last section was troublesome. He had been ordered to write an in-depth military strength assessment of ‘rival’ nations. He decided to save it for later. The trip had been long and longing to sleep himself, Spike set aside his quill, parchment and work, sighing. A stack of letters had given him a firm writing surface. Though far away, he sent regular letters to his childhood friends and they had sent letters back. He pulled out a letter from the pile, a particular one from a certain mare of alabaster white whose correspondence bore the scent of her pungent perfume that smelled of roses. He closed his eyes and snuggled in his seat, hoping for better dreams, perhaps maybe of her.

As the crowd of ponies walked off the train, Spike craned his neck to see past the many passengers. Still, he struggled to see any of his friends. His sleep had been rather rough and somehow he didn’t feel quite rested. Though somewhat difficult with his growth and new posture, he stood up on his hind legs like he had all his youth. At his new impressive height he saw that... his arrival had been expected.

“Spike!”

He was tackled back unto his four legs as a blur pink pounced him.

“Hi, Pinkie Pie.” said Spike, choking with her hooves wrapped around his neck

“Omigosh Omigosh there’s so much to tell you! Everyone missed you and we all got together to welcome you. Yerrkk—”

Pinkie was pulled off Spike by a familiar magical lavender aura. “That’s enough, Pinkie. You’re choking him.”

“Princess Twilight!” Spike smiled, bowing at the Alicorn.

“Ambassador Spike,” said Twilight, formally.

They shared a light laugh. “Twilight!” Spike reared upwards hugged his sister.

“Spike, now you’re choking me.” Twilight giggled.

“Sorry.” Spike rubbed his head spines in embarrassment as he pulled back.

Rainbow and Fluttershy hovered over, carrying a long banner that read ‘Welcome Home Spike’.

“Awesome, your wings have really grown in. We gotta race sometime,” said Rainbow.

Spike unfurled his leather wings that draped like a cape. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that. I'm not sure how I would fare against a wonderbolt Captain though.”

"I'll give ya a head start, maybe a mile?" Rainbow chuckled.

“Hi,” whimpered Fluttershy, slightly intimidated by Spike’s figure and the rows of sharp teeth revealed in his smile.

Spike closed his mouth, retracted his wings, and frowned. He was surprised then that the timid yellow Pegasus mustered the courage. She jumped and hugged him affectionately albeit with her eyes closed.

Applejack tipped her Stetson hat upwards slightly. “Whoa there partner, take a gander at those muscles. Ah bet you could buck a tree or two there.”

Spike flexed boastfully. “I bet your hat I could take care of the whole orchard. Harvest season yet?”

The orange earth mare shook her head. “Months ago, ain’t that a shame?”

“Spikey Wikey!” The melodious tone of her voice was like a jolt through his mind.

“Rarity!” he cried in elation.

“Oh how you’ve grown. Mr. Ambassador, now? Oh! Where has the time gone?!” Rarity pulled her hoof over her head dramatically.

Pinkie Pie jumped in between them. “This is super duper fantastic; Spike is back! We have got to party!” She waved her hooves in the air.

“Umm, maybe tonight Pinke. Let’s allow Spike to settle back in.” Twilight reigned in the bouncing ball of energy.

“Okay… Party tonight! I’ll invite everyone!” Pinkie hopped away.

Spike arrived at their local library and home. As he passed through the archway, he noted he could touch the top if he wanted. His sister figure led the way.

“Spike, there’s so much I want to ask. How was it in the Griffin Kingdoms? What about the Zebra Confederation? Did you meet the elders of the Dragon Dominion?”

Spike placed a claw to his lips. Twilight’s mind ran with the speed of a train sometimes. He considered for a moment as Twilight’s eager eyes grew wider. Spike took a deep breath before he shot off his answers. “The Griffin King, Reagle, taught me a thing or two about using claws in combat. The Zebra Zakar tribe has developed a cure for degenerative joint disease. The Dragon elders love debating philosophy, one of them was also a friend of Starswirl the Bearded.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. I’d love to read your report once Luna is done with it.”

“So what did you do?”

Twilight seemed overly eager to share her latest discoveries in researching higher magic. Out of the majority of her speech though, Spike could only comprehend every other word. He caught the tail end however. “The shared mythologies of many races has a similarly described place. That’s why I believe that there are multiple universes.”

“Sounds nice, Twi.” Spike yawned.

“Spike, am I that boring?” asked Twilight, hurt.

He was quick to allay her fears. “No. I just am travel weary.” He pulled out a scroll from his satchel. “Here, I got you a gift, a scroll from a dragon elder, He who Swallows the Sky. The elder said it was older than he.”

Twilight squealed in delight. “A scroll from a dragon elder?” She inspected the parchment. “This is definitely relevant to my research!”

“Don’t go mad reading it.” Spike smiled as he left her.

“Speaking of going mad…” Twilight set aside the scroll. She spoke tenderly. “Spike, have you had another incident?”

“Greed growth?”

Twilight nodded nervously.

Spike contemplated the embarrassing incident in his youth, through greed growth he nearly destroyed everything. It was a side of himself that scared and scarred his conscience mind, that he could be capable of such destruction. “No, I’ve kept control…”

Twilight sighed in relief.

“I asked the dragon elders about it. It’s not just greed, any strong emotions might make me a mindless beast. The dragon elders spoke of it as an inevitability. Even elders have been lost.”

“So you’re a ticking time bomb?” Twilight shuddered.

“The dragon elders also said the process was irreversible but I came back so it shows there’s even limits to what they know.” Spike smiled and placed a reassuring claw on Twilight’s shoulders. “I won’t become a beast.”

“I’m glad Spike, I know you won’t. I know I can count on my number one assistant.” His sister gave him a soft hug.

Spike moved up the stairs of the giant tree house. He passed Twilight’s room, recalling when they had shared it. He had begged for his own room when he was young. He found now that it was a mixed blessing, since loneliness left him colder at night. Spike yawned again, he was genuinely sleepy. Realizing how crazy Pinkie Pie’s parties were, he wanted to be ready for the coming night…. also for a confession he had planned. Spike dropped onto his mattress and fell asleep almost instantly.

His alarm clock had only chimed once before Spike shut it off. Traveling a lot had helped him build his own internal clock. Getting up, he reached into his saddlebags and smiled.

Downstairs, Twilight busied herself trying to translate the scroll. Multiple reference texts were sprawled out on their book spines. Her muzzle was buried deep into one of her books.

"Twi, it's party time!" Spike spoke drawing Twilight back to reality.

"Time flies when you're cross referencing dead languages." Looking upwards from her book, Twilight saw Spike a black suit. "Nice suit."

"I had it tailored in the Griffin Kingdoms, I would have asked Rarity to make it but that would spoil the surprise."

"She'll want to make your wedding tux though, Romeo." Twilight beamed.

Spike blushed profusely. Her confidence empowered him.

"So what do you have planned for Rarity?"

"After the party, I'm going to ask her." Spike smiled.

"Just like that?"

"We known each other for a while now. I've been with her during the good and bad times. I know I could make her happy. It's now or never."

"Spike, I think you'll be perfect together. I am so proud of you." Twilight hugged her little brother and straightened his tie. "Wait, Spike do you have a gift prepared? Rarity loves the classics, her checkout records from the library are all from the romance section."

He was about to comment on her creepy knowledge on how Twilight knew everypony’s reading habits but he felt he should refrain. Spike rolled his eyes. He pulled a tiny black box from his coat pocket. "Come on Twi, I got this covered."

Twilight's eyes became wide as he opened the tiny box. She cried out in awe. "Wow that—”

The windows to Rarity's boutique were aglow from the activity inside. The party was soon in full swing after Spike had entered and was blasted with party streamers. The throb of the music mirrored the throb in his heart. Throughout the event, he found his eyes always wandering to Rarity. He had kept his interaction with her to a mere greeting. As the party died down and guests left, Spike found himself following Rarity to her balcony.

“Hey, Rarity.”

Rarity gave a squeal of surprise. “Spike! I didn’t hear you come up.”

"It doesn't get any better than this does it?"

She hung her hooves on the railing. "No it doesn't, my Spikey Wikey," Rarity said, smiling. “Business has been good, I have orders from Prance now! Prance, could you believe it? I used to buy their wares and now they buy mine.”

“I could believe anything, you’re an amazing mare, Rarity,” said Spike.

"Ahem, let's get back to the party."

"Wait, I wanted to speak to you in private."

Rarity stopped for a moment. Her posture was nervous, mirroring his own.

“… what I want to say is…” Spike fumbled through his suit pockets and pulled out an ornate ring. It was a band of simple gold inlaid with a single small stone. Whereas larger stones were dull and opaque, the stone set within the ring shone with a brilliance that caught the light even in the absence of a source. Carving it in the likeness of her cutie mark, he had worked throughout the nights, careful so that he did not overwork it. Kissing it with his fire, he’d polished it closest to perfection he could. He recognized the familiar gleam in her eyes.

“This is a heart diamond… where did you ever—”

“Dueling in the Dragon Dominion is still popular. You may take your opponent’s life or a prize of your choosing. Lord Firestorm gave a good fight.”

“Oh, please tell me you didn’t risk your life getting me this?” said Rarity, laced with concern.

“Just a little… but you’re worth more.” Spike smiled and pointed to small scar on his right cheek. Spike twiddled his claws nervously. “So do you like it?” He was hoping for one of her dramatic gushes and that she may even say that she ‘loved’ it. Doubts sunk in during her pause. He wondered whether he had indeed overworked the gemstone. Having an eye for quality, she of all would know.

Rarity stammered. “Spike, that’s a unicorn horn ring… if I accept this it will mean we are engaged…”

Her ‘if’ stung but he knew he could convince her. “Rarity, I’ve done a lot of soul searching… getting away this past year has cleared things in my head. I know now I don’t have a crush on you.”

“Spike—”

“I love you!” He blurted out.

She winced. Rarity was shocked to silence.

“I’m crazy about you.”

Rarity tried to speak.

Spike sputtered in growing desperation. “I—”

She placed a hoof to silence him. She stomped her other hoof on the ground firmly to emphasize her point. “… Spike, this is… I’m not ready…”

“Several more years then? I know it’s been many already, but you’re worth waiting for.” His plea was pathetic he knew as much.

“You’re a wonderful dragon and one of the kindest and most compassionate friends I have…”

He had read enough novels to know what came next. He dreaded it. “But what?”

“What would my parents say? What would high society say? There would be scandal… and I.”

He prodded her to continue. “What?”

She fidgeted and did not meet his eyes. Instead they seemed to linger on his claws, they moved up only to stop at his jaw lined with razor teeth. “I am not sure we could work... I don't see you that way... I've tried but I can't... It's instinct. Spikey, I'm so sorry."

“You kissed me once, was it generosity or… pity? All these years then... What was I to you? A joke? A tool?!”

“Spike, no!” Rarity said, aghast.

Fire seethed through his teeth. As he deployed his wings, his silhouette and shadow grew against the light of the merciless moon. His fearsome form only scared Rarity further. Overwhelmed by his predatory presence, she hid and hunched behind her hooves, shaking. Her fear only angered him further. He raised his claws that could rend flesh. Rarity recoiled, fearfully stepping away. She shrieked. However, Spike only used his claws to shield his eyes. He could not let her see the tears that sprung forth. With an ear splitting roar of anguish, he leapt off the balcony. If he had stopped, he might have seen Rarity’s tears streaming from her face.

The edge of Everfree, he stumbled into the darkness running. He was too distracted to fly beyond gliding onto the ground. He ran until his legs began hurting; staggering, he tripped on a rock. Forced to stop, his surroundings came into focus. He was in the center of the great woods and at the ruins of a great fortress.

He had rage enough to burn the entire great forest down. Part of him wanted to. In the middle of the forest he could torch it all and suffocate peacefully in the blaze. With his claws clutched to his chest; the throbbing heart behind it threaten to burst. The demon, the beast, was waiting to take control. The raw emotion needed an outlet; it would turn him into an avatar of rage.

“No!!!” Spike hugged himself more closely, slamming his claws into his chest.

Holding onto the last shards of his sanity, he thought of his pony friends, their lives that would be touched by his fire. Tears welling in his eyes, he arched his head upwards. He blew a pillar of green fire that seemed to sear the sky. His frustration was vented as his plume of flame spluttered out.

Empty of rage, he was left with despair deeper than blackness that surrounded the lonely lights of the stars. He was an outsider. He didn’t belong amongst dragons, following the dragon migration in his youth he learned as much. Now, the place he thought he could find love was also a lie. A lie he had learned. In the years assisting the town librarian, he had focused upon a single tome.

“Stupid book, you lied to me!” Spike pulled forth a tome from his saddle pouch. The cover had a picture perfect depiction of knight in gleaming armor. It was long held fantasy of his to be that knight. Emblazoned in faded gold letter was ‘Tales of Chivalry’. In his long journeys the tome had been a companion of his and even with his mouth seething with fire, he could not bear burning it. He pitched it into the darkness.

To his surprise something returned the tome, letting it land besides his feet. Spike growled, tossing it again. Again it was returned. Spike roared, throwing the book harder this time.

“OW!” came a voice.

“Huh?” Spike was startled by the voice. He was more shocked by the book flying and landing hard on his face. Spike revealed his fangs and snarled, ready to face his tormentor.

From the dark emerged a pony with wings and a horn. Stepping forward the Princess of the Night revealed herself. The clouds shifted letting the moon’s light through. In all her glory glowed Luna and her flowing mane made of twinkling stars.

“Princess Luna!?” Spike stammered. His pain was distracted by her presence. He shuffled to quickly bow and wipe water from his eyes.

“Citizen, we are here to catch litterers! Thou shall dispose of refuse properly or face mine wrath!” Luna intoned. Her formality and use the royal ‘we’ was decided dented by a hint of mischief.

Spike looked away from her. Normally he would counter with a snide or funny remark but the spirit had left him

"Sir Spike?

"Sir?"

"Thou was granted knighthood for saving the Crystal Empire, were you not?"

"I don't feel like a knight. I don't feel right."

"What ails thee?"

"Nothing." He lied, terribly. Under her scrutinizing gaze, he confessed. "Everything."

"Firstly, why dost thou discard this book as one throws away rubbish?"

Spike picked up the book. “It’s not exactly garbage. It was a dream I had… once.” Under the moon’s rays the golden letters shone again ‘Chivalry’.

Luna chuckled. “We see Princes like Blueblood and mourn the state of chivalry. Yet even in the past there were few that upheld such values, more instead wouldst mime them. Tis an olden tome you hold in thy claws. I recall the foolish knight who wrote it. By your bearing you appear to be an acolyte of its teachings.”

He clutched the tome and set it on the ground. “I was until…” Spike choked on his words. He decided to ask. “What are you doing here, Princess?”

Luna gestured a hoof at the moss covered stonework. Now visible was the husk of a castle. Her mischievous tone had become morose. “The Fortress of Everfree was once a monument to my hubris that challenged the sun. It was once built as a seat where two sisters might reign… yet it became our battleground. Now the ruins remind me of costs of vain glory. Tis pride’s price.”

“I know the history… I was just wondering why you’re here.”

“There is a grave here I visit on occasion.” She spoke without the royal ‘we’. Spike was somewhat perturbed by the somber note in her voice.

“Princess?”

Luna tried steering the conversation back unto a lighter tone. “We shall forgive thee for littering.” She walked away further into the darkness. Her eyes gleamed with power for a moment. “Sir Spike, do try not to burn the forest down. There before, you were close to succumbing to the darkness within. We do not wish to slay thee.”

Spike posture shot up fearfully for a moment.

"We have respects to pay, we shall return for thee."

“Hey Princess, could I join you?”

Luna stumbled in a step. “If thou so wish it.”

Close to the fortress grounds, in a small clearing, there was a single headstone. Luna reached through her mane, revealing a red flower hidden there. Spike had not noticed the rose before hidden in the folds of her mane. Luna plucked the solitary rose from her hair and stuck it into the earth besides the tombstone.

“Who was he?”

“A remarkable soul the world shall not see again, a true love.” Luna turned away, leading Spike with her.

Left behind there was a sparkling bead of liquid on the petals of the rose.

Seeing the mare in pain hurt him. As they walked together he struggled to find words or anything that could help her. Spike said lamely. “I am sorry… for your loss.” He internally kicked himself for his cliché and stock words.

“We feel at times we are not meant for this age. Much remains the same, yet so much more is different. Armies, nations, and peoples have risen and fallen in the time of our exile. Even amongst our own kind we can do little to relate.”

“I feel that way all the time as a pony raised dragon. I sorta don’t belong in either category. I remember when you visited Ponyville, sorry I was cowering with everypony else.” Spike guiltily thought of Rarity and how she had hid from him.

“We still find mirth terrorizing Ponyville on that special day.”

“Mirth? Don’t you mean fun?”

“Yes, fun. Yee were but knee high back then. Thou served as squire to the mage Twilight Sparkle. Twas most ironic to see a dragon in a dragon costume.” Luna seemed contrarily to be more formal and reserved in her mischievous tone than when she turned towards prose during her more severe moments.

Spike drowned in his awkwardness. “Yeah.” He smiled at the end. “At least towards the end everyone accepted you. I only grow more distant. One day I may become a lonely mountain.”

“Do not say that Sir Spike, only greed growth will make you a mountain. Also you have many friends.”

He grumbled. “Yeah, so does Tank the tortoise. Am I just an oddity, a pet? Rarity doesn’t see me as anything more.”

“The Element Bearer of Generosity?"

Spike nodded in confirmation.

Luna giggled teasing. “Dragons are known to have hearts covetous of jewels. Is it the gem emblem upon her flanks thou fancies?”

“No!” Spike adamantly refused her assumption that he merely lusted after Rarity. “She’s witty, refined, artistic, and caring… only she doesn’t care for me, not in the way I do for her. After all these years, I’m just Spikey Wikey.” He was on the cusp of a sob. The pathetic feelings returned. He bit back tears so as not to embarrass himself.

Luna turned toward him. “We apologize; we did not mean to make merriment of thy misery. Thou hast proven that thine affections are deeper than mere fur.” She patted his back. “Let the sorrows flow, let go.”

“I can’t.”

“Thou art a fool then. We will respect no male who does not admit their feelings. The bravest soldiers We’ve seen weep for sorrow and joy. Hast thou learned nothing from these ruins?” She gestured at the looming shadow of the forgotten fortress. “Dost thou believe thyself greater than they? Greater than I?” She glared into his eyes.

Spike wondered why she did not say ‘stallion’, but he was too absorbed in his pain to decipher her diction. His anguish began again as a trickle. Soon he bawled as he never had before letting liquid pain soak the ground around him. The mare he loved had rejected his offering of love. Fair Rarity was his dream.

His arms outstretched and seeking any warmth he could, he hugged Luna. Unused to the contact, the night Princess squirmed slightly. She raised a hoof to push him away but stopped as she felt his tears stain her coat. Two beings enraptured by evening lights, they stood together against the darkness.

One dream had been broken perhaps never to be repaired; maybe it was time for a new dream.

Link for mood music...

Author's Notes:

Give a like if you wanna see more! :twilightsmile:

Next Chapter: Chapter 2 New Light Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 20 Minutes
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