“So what exactly did you have in mind?” I address Apple Bloom curiously, as we walk up the stairs back to the main road. I don't know why, but whenever I picture fillies playing, all I can think about is hide and seek, tag, or live action roleplaying. I blame Skyrim for that, since that's the only damn games your adopted kids wanted to play. Which was super easy, since all I had to do was stand on a rock they can't climb and watch them run in circles screaming “Where are you, daddy?!” While the whole time I'm laughing my ass off.

“Oh, well ah wanna show ya our clubhouse! It's where the Cutie Mark Crusaders hold their meetings!” Apple Bloom responds eagerly. Okay, what. That name. What the fuck is that, and why is it causing my right eye to twitch spasmodically?

“The what?”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders! It's our secret society. We're lookin' fer our cutie marks!” Apple Bloom explains, and I can't resist the temptation to facepalm. That's...so fucking dumb. Cutie Mark Crusaders...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at how ridiculously dumb that sounds. What have I gotten myself into?

“Secret...society. So you mean you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo,” I deduce with a flat tone.

“Yup!” Apple Bloom's enthusiastic response causes me to rub my forehead. “It's also really warm out, so we can go swimming too. Do ya like swimming?”

“I suppose it can be relaxing. Though if we're going to do that, we'll need to stop by Vinyl's place to grab my swim trunks,” I reply thoughtfully. Now that she mentioned it, floating on my back in cool water sounds really good, especially with this weather.

“Huh? Why can't ya just take off ya clothes and hop raht in?” Apple Bloom questions me, perplexed. I blanch at that question. Yeah, there's no way I'm explaining that to a damn filly.

“For reasons I'm not explaining. It's a human thing,” is my terse response.

“Oh. Okay. I dunno the way ta Vinyl's house,” Apple Bloom says, blinking. She accepted that explanation a little too easily, if you ask me. Or maybe she's just respecting my secrets. Man, that's why I hate dealing with people, or ponies in this case. You never know what they're thinking.

“Follow me then,” I tell her. Apple Bloom nods, and then we finally return to the path. Of course, the world seems to have it out for me. Because Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are standing on the path near us, gasping when they see me with Apple Bloom. I guess they followed her here. “Or, THAT could happen. Fucking...!”

“Hey, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo. Ah found 'im!” Apple Bloom exclaims happily. Scootaloo's frightened expression turns to one of worry and anger, while Sweetie Belle watches me with an unreadable expression. I wonder what she's thinking.

“Apple Bloom, get away from him. That human is dangerous!” Scootaloo orders her friend, jabbing a hoof at me. Great, I so don't want to fucking deal with this.

“Scootaloo, he's mah friend! Ah ain't just gonna leave him,” Apple Bloom argues, not budging. I turn and start walking away.

“I'm leaving. I'll meet you at the farm,” I grunt.

“Yeah, get out of here, you freak!” Scootaloo calls after to me. My shoulders shake angrily, but this time I can control myself. Scootaloo is just a prick, not scum like Diamond Tiara.

I don't get much farther before tiny hooves close around my leg, causing me to stumble. “What the...” I look down to see Apple Bloom clinging onto my leg.

“No, please don't go. Scootaloo's just lookin' out fer me, that's all,” she pleads, once again wearing that adorable expression that I just can't fucking deny, no matter how much I steel my heart.

“Fucking...fine. You deal with them. I'll sit here and twiddle my damn thumbs or something,” I relent. Once Apple Bloom releases me, she smiles and walks back to her friends.

“Ah'll be raht back. Don't ya go anywhere now,” she tells me sternly. I scoff and sit down on the riverbank, dangling my legs over the edge. Recently, I've taken to walking around barefoot, since my shoes are pieces of shit now. The streets and grass are soft enough for it not to really hurt, but I'm getting annoyed having to wash off eighty layers of dirt every time I take a shower. It sucks, because I doubt these ponies will have shoes that'll fit me.

“Why is he still here?” Scootaloo demands angrily.

“Why do ya hate 'im so much?” Apple Bloom asks pleadingly, preferring to tackle the problem right at its root. Scootaloo looks shocked at such a question.

“What are you talking about? Every time we've met him, he's been a jerk, and now he's hurt somepony! How can I not hate him?”

“Scoots, there's more ta him than that. While ah don't like how he dealt with Diamond Tiara, ah understand it. Seth's not a simple guy. Ya can't be his friend without willin' ta look beneath the surface,” Apple Bloom protests, rather eloquently I might add. Damn...I take it back. She doesn't act mature for her age, she is mature. How the hell does a filly this young act so responsibly? Is it because she works hard on the farm everyday?

“How? How can you keep saying that? Rainbow said the same thing earlier, but nothing he's done has proved her right. There's nothing on the inside worth knowing!” Scootaloo is practically shouting now. Every word she says cuts right into me. Damn...it doesn't matter how many times you hear yourself insulted. It hurts every damn time, especially if they're right. Which she is.

“The better question is, why ain't ya even tryin'? Yer just judgin' him by what ya see on the outside. Don't that make ya the same as Diamond Tiara?” Apple Bloom's words take me by surprise. That's a daring thing to say, especially to a friend. Scootaloo is rendered speechless by that, shocked that her friend would compare her to their worst enemy.

“You..!” Scootaloo begins, but I stop paying attention after that, because my vision is suddenly filled by Sweetie Belle, who's looking at me tentatively.

“Hey...can I talk to you real quick?” Sweetie asks me hesitantly, as if unsure how I'd respond. Which is a decent assumption, because I don't know how to respond. What the hell would she want from me?

“What do you want? You made it pretty clear how unwelcome I am,” I answer her sullenly, lifting a rock from the riverbank and throwing it into the water with a plunk. Sweetie Belle takes that as permission, so she gets closer.

“I had time to think about what I saw, and...well...I think if my sister ever found out about the way Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were treating us,” Sweetie Belle begins, choosing her words carefully. “I think she would have done the same thing. Probably not as...violent...but that's just how protective she is.”

“And your point?” I grunt impatiently. Where are you going with this, Sweetie Belle?

“I wanted to ask you something. Were you being protective of Apple Bloom, when you attacked Diamond?” Sweetie asks. Her question takes me by surprise, and I look at her oddly. Then I start thinking. How do I answer that question?

Honestly, all I'd thought about when I lost my temper was Janna, and how it felt like I was seeing her again in the form of a pony, tormenting a pony that I actually didn't hate, or even dislike. I wanted to stop Janna from hurting anypony the same way she hurt me...and...you know what? Now that I made that connection, I think I can honestly say that Sweetie Belle is onto something.

“I...suppose I was,” I admit, both to her and to myself. Sweetie Belle stares at me for a long time, while I hear Apple Bloom and Scootaloo arguing heatedly in the background.

“Tell me ah'm wrong!” Apple Bloom is yelling.

“I...you...” Scootaloo is stammering. Huh, seems like she's losing the argument.

Then, Sweetie Belle smiles at me, and she does something totally unexpected. Yeah, she's the next pony to fucking hug me, wrapping her little hooves around my arm, since she's too small to really hug me.

“What the...I thought you hated me too?” I demand incredulously.

“Well, I didn't like you, but...if you really were being protective, then my sister was right. There really is more to you than I thought,” Sweetie Belle explains. Of course, it doesn't make any more sense. Why do all these ponies keep thinking the best of me? No matter how mean or vicious I am, they're always coming back to me, being friendly, generous, and loving. I don't get it. I just don't fucking get it.

Ponies that hate me are changing their minds about me without me really doing anything that would warrant that. First is was Rarity, then it was Rainbow, and now it's Sweetie Belle. Three times is no fluke. Something's up, and I can't just blame it on Twilight like I did before. I haven't seen her talking to Rarity, and I know Sweetie Belle never talked to Twilight since I met her. So what the fuck is really going on?

“I...need some time. I'm gonna go home for tonight,” I hear Scootaloo say. Sweetie Belle lets go of me at that and moves to go join her friends, probably to figure out what's going on. In fact, once I see Scootaloo gallop away, I decide to get up and join them myself, now that two of the three of them don't hate me for whatever reason.

“Sorry, Seth. Scootaloo means well. She jus' needs a bit o' time,” Apple Bloom assures me when she notices me returning. When she noticed Sweetie Belle's smile, Apple Bloom raises an eyebrow. “Sweetie Belle, where were ya durin all that? ah 'spected you ta agree with Scoots.”

“I sorta did. But I can see what you mean now. I went and talked to him myself,” Sweetie Belle explains. I start getting somewhat irritated, seeing as everypony is talking about me like I'm not even there.

“Yes, yes, everything is sunshine and happiness. Can we go now? I'm sick of standing around,” I cut across them, crossing my arms.

“Yeah! We still gotta stop by yer place, right?” Apple Bloom exclaims, scampering to my side.

“It's not my place, it's Vinyl's. But yes. Come with me, I know the way,” I correct her. She doesn't seem to pay attention to that though, instead doing that little “squee” thing ponies all seem to be able to do. I don't even.

“Um...can I come too?” Sweetie Belle asks hesitantly. The two of us look at her with surprise.

“You wanna come play too?” Apple Bloom looks really happy at her friend's show of interest. Sweetie Belle nods shyly. “Seth, can Sweetie come?”

“Whatever,” I reply nonchalantly, and they appear to take it as a yes. I start walking, and the two of them fall in step on either side of me.

Now that we're out of that whole awkward situation, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle start talking about random shit, like the things they learned in class, or different ideas to earn their cutie marks. Nothing that I really care to talk about. It's only when they fall silent and Apple Bloom starts humming.

She's not bad, and it doesn't really strike me as odd until Sweetie Belle starts singing. Yeah, I'm not kidding. She's actually singing to Apple Bloom's song. Like, either they rehearsed it, or this is some of the most badass improvisation I've ever seen.

I gotta write this down, because I love music, and this was really good. Sweetie Belle's voice really blows me away. For a filly her age, a voice like that is almost unheard of.

So the way this starts is Apple Bloom starts...what's the technical word for this...hell I don't know. Basically she forms the rhythm by singing various vowels in such a way that it sounds almost like musical accompaniment. Like the kind of stuff you'd hear in a barbershop quartet or something. Then Sweetie Belle adds her voice.

“The summer season passes without a fight
the last breath before winter light
We walk side by side with a deep mystery
Playing through the pages of history.”

Yeah, I think this is good. So imagine my shock when Apple Bloom stops being rhythm and the two of them join together for the chorus. Get this: the two of them harmonize perfectly together. It gave me chills how well their voices blended together.

“Time passes with out an end
But we stay by you
our mysterious friend
Out of the blue
Our happiness we will lend
At last, something new!”

What in the..those lyrics. Are they talking about me? How the hell did they come up with notes, harmonies, and words so quickly, with such a rigid rhyme scheme? I don't...damn these fillies are talented. When Apple Bloom starts the next verse, Sweetie Belle takes over the rhythm. I can't help but hum a bit myself. It's catchy.

This verse is just a repeat of the first, but it has a whole new twist on it thanks to Apple Bloom's unique voice. It has her accent filtered into it, I mean.

By the time they finish the song, we're standing in front of Vinyl's house. The fillies just look at me expectantly, seeming to completely disregard the fact that they just randomly sang. I walk in, again without knocking. Vinyl is sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looks up in surprise at my entry. “Dude, I wasn't expecting you back til much later,” she remarks, shutting the book.

“Yeah, I'm not here for long. I'm here to grab something, then I'm heading back to the farm,” I explain. Before she can answer, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle scamper into the house, being as loud as fillies can be.

“Oh wow, this is where Seth lives!” Apple Bloom gasps in awe, looking around.

“Gosh, you live with Vinyl Scratch! So cool!” Sweetie exclaims, dashing around the couch. Vinyl puts on the most perfect WTF face I've ever seen as the two fillies run around in the living room.

“Apparently you brought friends,” Vinyl observes, stating the obvious. I give her an askance glance.

“I wouldn't really call them my friends. They sort of just...follow me around,” I remark, indicating the rambunctious duo of fillies. Vinyl sighs in what seems to be disappointment.

“Oh, hey Seth, can we see yer room?” Apple Bloom asks enthusiastically, zipping to a halt just in front of me.

“No. That room is my sanctuary. I don't let ponies inside, except for Vinyl since she owns it, and Rainbow because she won't take no for an answer,” I retort, getting disappointed “awws,” from the two fillies. “I need to go change. Stay here.”

“Hey girls, while he's changing, why don't you come take a look at my sweet tables?” Vinyl suggests, saving me from having to talk any further. The two fillies seem satisfied with that, so I'm not bothered as I climb the stairs and enter my room.

I take my swim trunks out of the dresser and glance at them skeptically. Even though they stretch, it still looks too small for me. Let's see if I'll be hating Rarity after I try this on. Slipping out of my jeans and boxers, I carefully fold them up and leave them on the desk. They're stained with a little sweat, since I wasn't really getting down and dirty, so I should be able to wear them tomorrow to work before having to wash them.

Well, Rarity was right about them stretching. They stretch to a crazy size so that I can get them on, and then they snap back to my skin and cling to it snugly. Unfortunately, there's a slight problem with the crotch area. It fits me very snugly. I curse looking at it. What the fuck, Rarity? Do you think I'm a girl? This looks like it was made without male anatomy in mind and...whelp...I just figured out why. I remember reading somewhere (I don't remember where, which disturbs me) that stallions have sheaths to hide their dicks in, as eloquent as that is. That's probably why she designed them the way she did. Well, fuck, so I'm basically wearing a cross between shorts and a damn speedo.

...Yeah there's no fucking way I'm walking through town wearing this. I unfold my jeans and put them on over my suit. I'll take them off when I get to the lake. Until then, they're staying on.

When I walk down the stairs, I can hear the two fillies giggling and Vinyl laughing uproariously for whatever reason. Turning the corner, I see them in the kitchen, where for some reason, there's an egg balanced on Vinyl's horn, yet there's no juice coming out. What the hell did I miss?

“Okay, let's go or whatever,” I say, walking into the kitchen without warning. My sudden entrance startles Vinyl, and she loses coordination, and the egg falls to the ground...or it would have if Vinyl hadn't been quick to grab it with magic. “Vinyl...exactly what were you doing?”

“Winning a bet,” Vinyl gloats. “All right you two, I want to hear success stories the next time I see you, all right?”

“You will!” the two fillies chime in together, and then they turn to me.

“Um, weren't ya goin' ta change?” Apple Bloom questions, not noticing a difference in my attire.

“I did. I'm wearing my trunks under these pants,” I explain. Apple Bloom nods, and then she grabs my leg, pulling me towards the door.

“Let's go, we're runnin' out o' time!” Apple Bloom exclaims. Her enthusiasm causes me to smile a bit. She reminds me a bit of myself when I was small and innocent.

“All right, I'm going.”

It's a fairly short trip back to Sweet Apple Acres. The work day is just ending, so I should probably go and get my pay, but...eh, I'll probably just grab it after Apple Bloom gets sick of me. Applejack will understand. If not, well fuck her.

“Should we go see the clubhouse first, or go swimming?” Apple Bloom asks me, grinning up at me adorably. Dammit...being this cute should be a crime. I swear, that's the only reason I let her stick around. Yeah, that's what it is.

“Eh, let's go swimming first. I'm tired and want to relax,” I reply, pleased that I get to make the decision. Maybe this playing thing won't be so bad after all. For some reason, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchange glances. What's that all about?

“Cool! The swimming pool is this way, come on!” Apple Bloom responds, and then she takes off like a rocket past the barn and towards the apple orchard. While her energy is somewhat refreshing, I don't feel the need to run after her, like Sweetie Belle does. No, I just walk briskly, my hands in my pockets.

The “swimming pool,” as she called it, isn't anything like I expected. When one says swimming pool, they thing chlorinated water with tiled boundaries. Yeah, not this one.

I'm standing at the top of the small cliff that hangs above a decently sized lake. The drop off from this thing isn't that high, which I discover after walking up to the edge and peering down into the water. It's pretty clean water too, since I can see right down to the bottom, which is rather sandy. I wonder if that's natural, or if it's intentional.

Apple Bloom gives a whoop as she zooms off the edge of the cliff, splashing into the water. Sweetie soon follows her in, landing right next to her. The displaced water from Sweetie's fall soaks Apple Bloom, and she splutters. When Sweetie emerges, Apple Bloom splashes her in revenge, and the two engage in an all out splash war.

I strip off my clothes and fold them over the branches of a nearby tree, so they won't get wet. I do the same with my rifle. I shiver a bit as my body gets used to the change in temperature. It feels like I'm wearing only boxers, even though I'm not. It's an odd feeling. I'm gonna get in the water now, so I stop feeling awkward.

I stand at the edge, debating whether or not to jump in directly, or enter the lake from the bottom and walk in slowly. Wait a minute, where did those fillies go? I don't see them in the lake anymore.

I hear muffled giggling behind me, prompting me to turn around. Before I even get halfway turned around, I hear Apple Bloom yell, “Now!” and then suddenly both fillies lunge at me with their front hooves outstretched. Sweetie collides with my lower legs, and Apple Bloom hits my chest. Taken by surprise, I yelp and unbalance, falling backwards off of the cliff.

Just in time, I manage to plug my nose and brace myself, so when I hit the water, it doesn't hurt and I don't swallow any lake water. I sink all the way to the bottom, the water chilling my skin and giving me goosebumps.

Breaking the surface with a gasp, I glare at the two offending fillies, who are rolling around on the top of the hill, laughing at their success. Great, I'd been hoping to keep my hair mostly dry, because it's a pain to take care of when it's wet.

“Hee hee, look at 'im! He's all soakin'!” Apple Bloom giggles, pointing a hoof at me.

“I guess you could say he 'fell' for it!” Sweetie Belle jokes, making a pun so bad it makes me groan and facepalm.

“Congratulations, you pushed a human off a cliff. Proud of yourselves?” I return sarcastically, swimming over to the edge of the lake and hoisting myself out. Judging by how they continue to laugh and do that...fuck it, even if it's not technically correct, I'm just going to call it a high five. So they high fived, so I think they are proud of themselves. Well, it's time to change that.

Sweetie Belle sees me coming, her eyes widening when she sees me cracking my knuckles. She immediately leaps off of the cliff into the water to escape my incoming wrath. Apple Bloom doesn't notice me until I'm already there. She yelps and tries to copy Sweetie Belle, but I reach down and scoop her up into my arms. “Oh no you don't,” I growl playfully, mussing up her mane with my free hand.

“Aah! Lemme go!” Apple Bloom cries, giggling despite her plight. I lift her up and hurl her off of the edge...or at least I would have, if she hadn't clung to my hand with all four hooves. I shake my hand, but she doesn't budge.

“Let go, you little rascal.” I reach over my other hand in an attempt to pry off her hooves, but she grabs onto that one as well and scurries up my arm like a fucking ninja pony. She attempts to jump off my shoulder to the ground.

“You'll never catch m...eep!” Apple Bloom's boast is cut short as I reach my right hand over my head and grab her back hoof. I pull her back in, but she soon escapes my grip. The two of us then engage in a weird little game where I keep trying to grab her and throw her, and she keeps slipping around me, also like a ninja pony.

Okay, that's enough of this. I manage to grab her around the chest, but I can tell she's about to slip free again. Instead of letting her, this time I seize the moment to rush forward and jump off the cliff, taking her with me.

“Geronimo, motherfuckers!” I yell out triumphantly as Apple Bloom squeals in exhilaration, and then we both hit the water with a colossal splash.

I find that when we break the surface, Sweetie Belle is finding this whole thing hilarious. “I guess you weren't fast enough, Apple Bloom!” she teases her friend, who is giggling and spluttering, looking sheepish. She turns to splash me, but I've gone underwater.

You see, I have this thing about people (or ponies) who gloat. I tend to exact revenge, you see. As I undulate my body through the water, I orient myself on the kicking legs of Sweetie Belle that are keeping her afloat.

Sweetie Belle squeaks in shock when I emerge from the water behind her. Before she can move, I wrap my arms around her. “Better hold your nose,” I warn her as I place a hand on top of her head.

“Wait, no no no...!” Sweetie protests right before I dunk her under the water. Apple Bloom laughs uproariously when her friend comes back up with her mane all over the place. “That wasn't fair...”

“Oh, and knocking me off a cliff was? Don't prank someone if you're not willing to get pranked in return,” I counter, fixing my hair so that it isn't poking at my eyes. Of course, that becomes all pointless when Sweetie Belle splashes me in retaliation. “Okay, this means war.”

The three of us engage in a ridiculous splash war over the next few minutes. Well, by splash war, I mean they splash me while I chase after them to dunk them. I'd been hoping to relax and float on my back or something, but I seem to have forgotten how taxing it is to do that with fillies around. Ah well, I'm having fun just fucking around.

After we get tired of that, I somehow get suckered into playing some of their filly games, some of which hold a remarkable resemblance to some of the games human children would play. Like we play something a little like Marco Polo, only instead of saying that, the fillies insisted on saying “Daring Do,” though I have no fucking idea who that's supposed to be.

“Do! Aw come on, Seth, yer peekin'!” Apple Bloom complains after I grab her.

“It's not my fault you make so much noise when splashing around,” I respond. “Now where the hell are you, Sweetie? Daring!”

There's another game we play as well. It's literally just catch, except they assign some sort of point values depending on how you catch the ball. Like, Apple Bloom throws the ball a little too high, and so I toss Sweetie Belle up so she can grab it, which earns the both of us fifty points: twenty points for catching it, and thirty for style. No one is really supposed to win, it's all for fun. Which is good, since I hate overly competitive games.

“Sweetie, how many points do ya get fer a front flip corkscrew catch?” Apple Bloom asks curiously as I splash into the water triumphantly with the ball grasped in my hands.

“Uh...I don't think that one's in the book. Let's just make it up. Forty points?” Sweetie suggests, which I hear after I re-emerge.

“Oh come on! That's total bullshit. How does that get less points than throwing Sweetie Belle at it?” I protest, causing the fillies to giggle.

Finally, after an hour or so of just fucking around, we're interrupted by Applejack, much to my horror.

“Apple Bloom, it's time for dinner and...oh, Seth. I'd thought you'd gone home,” Applejack calls down to us from the top of the cliff. I freeze, in the middle of wrestling the ball from Apple Bloom, with Sweetie on my back trying to steal it from us. Well shit.

“And not get paid? Are you kidding me?” I reply, letting go of the ball and removing Sweetie from my back. I already got caught, so the most I can do is preserve at least some of my dignity.

“I suppose not. Well, why don't you all dry off and come in for dinner?” Applejack invites, beckoning to us with a hoof. And she invited me to dinner again. Seriously? If I didn't accept it the first three times, why would you think now would be any different?

“Yeah no. I'll be heading home,” I refuse flatly, swimming towards the edge of the lake and climbing out. The first thing I do is immediately start wringing the water out of my hair, since I have rather a lot of it.

“Awww, why can't ya stay fer dinner?” Apple Bloom asks, gazing at me soulfully. Fuck...not those goddamn eyes again. Fuckin...not this time. There's no way I'm giving in to Applejack's offer.

“Vinyl is expecting me. Maybe another time,” I lie, just to give Apple Bloom some peace of mind.

“Okay...well ya gotta come see the clubhouse tomorrow!” she insists. Damn...she's really insistent on spending time with me. I can't possibly imagine why though.

“Maybe if I have time,” I respond insincerely. I plan on taking tomorrow evening for myself, since I haven't had any real alone time since I got here.

“Bye, mister Seth!” Sweetie Belle calls to me as I move to pick up my clothes. Applejack passes me a towel, which she'd kept in her saddlebags.

“Ah'll see ya later then,” Apple Bloom says softly, having gotten out of the water to see me off. She rears up and plants her two front hooves on my legs, looking up at me. Sighing, I kneel down so she can reach me. She smiles and nuzzles my cheek. And just because I know she likes it, I gently push my cheek against her, reciprocating her affection. Her squee lets me know I've done something right.

Applejack stands totally nonplussed, watching our display with a dumbfounded expression. I stand back up and glare at it, having noticed her stare. “Not staring would be nice,” I snap at her, breaking her from her stupor. In the meantime, I start drying myself off.

“Oh. Sorry sugarcube. Just didn't think I'd see ya actin' so happy with ma sister,” Applejack explains sheepishly.

“Okay, that's enough. This 'sugarcube' thing? What is up with that?” I snap. I've finally had it with the holw nicknames thing. Between Rarity's “darling,” and Applejack's “sugarcube,” I'm being driven nuts. Applejack is taken aback.

“What, that? It's just a nickname. I don't mean nothing by it,” Applejack replies, perplexed.

“Well stop it. My name is Seth. Fucking use it,” I express plainly. Looking chastened and still a little confused, Applejack murmurs an apology, and then proceeds to fish for something in her saddlebags.

“Here's yer pay. Tomorrow's gonna be a short work day, so ya don't have ta come in til about noon, cuz it'll be all snowy,” Applejack informs me, handing (hoofing?) me a sack of bits. I'll look at how much is in there later. For now, I hand her the towel back, and then I get dressed, slinging my rifle over my shoulder.

“Got it. I'm leaving now.” With that, I spin on my heel and stalk away, heading towards the archway that leads back to town. Behind me I see Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle chatting amongst themselves, and then they enter the main barn, leaving me completely alone as the sky darkens.

Everything seems normal at first as I pass through the arch, but when I see three silhouettes emerging from the gloom in front of me, I start to get a bad feeling.

There are stallions – three of them – walking towards me. The moment they spot me, they orient their paths to intercept mine, like they're looking for me. The one standing in the middle looks the most important. He's a tan brown, lean earth pony, with a darker brown, slicked back mane style that gives him an air of sophistication. He's actually wearing clothing, in the form of a dark blue business suit with a white collar, complete with a red tie marked with the image of a dollar sign. His ass is marked by the image of three money bags.

The other two are very similar in appearance, being both white earth ponies with dark manes. They're heavily muscled, and the way they're looking at me makes me feel threatened. They're clearly ruffians of some sort.

The one in the center is gazing at me coolly, but I can tell from his body language that he clearly wants to rip my guts out for whatever reason.

They've seen me, so there's no point in running. I bravely walk up to them, and they and I stop once we are within talking range of each other.

“You are the human, Seth Rogers, are you not?” the center pony asks me in a smooth, business-like voice.

“It appears you have me at a disadvantage,” I reply, my hand resting on my rifle for assurance. I don't know what these guys want, but it can't be for friendly purposes. Not with the way those two are eyeing me.

“Quite. My name is Filthy Rich, though I doubt you've heard of me. You may know me as Diamond Tiara's father,” the pony introduces himself, adjusting his tie. I shut my eyes and sigh. I guess she went ahead and did it. Well, this is probably going to end very badly for me.

“Ah. Then I can't say I'm surprised to see you. Though I wonder why the police aren't with you,” I stall. The more I keep him talking, the more time I have to think of a way out of this. The area is pretty open, so there's no place to hide. They're earth ponies, so there's no outrunning them.

“Of course they aren't. This is a family matter, and as such should be dealt with...” Filthy Rich pauses for a moment to lift up a hoof, gaze at it, and then glare at me. “...personally.”

Yup, I'm pretty fucked. “So you plan on doing this under the table then? Wouldn't you rather do this in a less open place?” I point out, sweeping my hand over at the farm.

“There's no need. This will be over soon enough.” Filthy Rich asserts. Shit...that would have been my chance to escape. “Gentlemen, if you would? I still need to buy my daughter a replacement tiara.”

Filthy Rich gestures at me, and the two thugs approach me menacingly, one of them breaking off to circle around behind me. I need to think fast. I don't think I can fight them...and there's gotta be a way out of this that doesn't involve getting my ass kicked. I don't know this guy, so he could be planning to kill me.

Then it hits me. “I wouldn't do that if I were you,” I declare confidently, slowly removing my rifle from my back. The confidence in my voice causes them to pause for a moment.

“And why is that? Why shouldn't I claim compensation from a monster such as yourself?” Filthy Rich returns, looking utterly uninterested.

“You clearly don't know anything about humans. Do you know what this is?” I say, holding up the rifle. The confused looks on their faces tells me everything I need to know. “That's what I thought. Allow me to explain.”

I show them the different angles of the rifle as I frantically search my mind for details on this kind of rifle. Fuck it, I'll just say what I remember. Everything else I'll just make up. They won't know the difference. “This is a 3rd Generation Special Operations Forces Combat Battle Rifle, more commonly known as a SCAR-H. What it does is that it can fire a small metal projectile from this muzzle here at about six hundred and eighty miles per hour. You know what's even better? It can fire about six hundred of these projectiles a minute.”

My bluff is working. I can see the shock and fear in their eyes increase as I describe the weapon. Hopefully I won't have to prove that this thing actually works. Since it's out of ammo.

“B...Boss,” one of the thugs stammers, watching my rifle closely.

“That's right. Are you going to back off like a smart little pony? Or are we going to find out who the real apex predator is here?” I ask in a dangerously soft voice, and then I cock the gun, which makes an intimidating clanking sound. Come on...please work...please work.

“Hmph. Fall back, you two. It appears we have underestimated our enemy,” Filthy Rich orders, and my heart soars in triumph. There's no way this just fucking worked. It did! The thugs are backing off! Oh my god, you ponies are so fucking stupid! “Don't think I'll forget this, Mr. Rogers.”

“Nah, I fully expect you to come kill me in my sleep or something. But there's something you need to know before you go,” I assert, resting the rifle on my shoulder. Filthy Rich looks back at me jas as they're starting to leave, choosing not to reply and wait for my next words. He's not going to like this, but I feel it has to be said. “Your daughter is a bully. A real menace.”

“You're not the first to lie...” Filthy Rich begins, but I cut him off.

“Shut up. Let me guess, other ponies have complained to you about her, and every time Diamond Tiara just flutters her pretty little eyelashes and says, 'oh no, daddy, I could never bully anypony.' And then you believe her because you're a FUCKING IDIOT!” My voice rises until I'm shouting at him.

“How dare...”

“Excuse me, I'm not done talking. Perhaps you should take your head out of your ass and ask around? I guarantee that you'll find that everypony you talk to will have the same thing to say: that your lovely little princess isn't as innocent as she appears,” I snap, pointing the rifle at him when he tries to approach me. That makes him back the fuck off. “You're a pretty shitty parent. I bet you worked your ass off to get where you are today: rich and well off. I bet you learned a lot on that journey.”

Filthy Rich is actually nodding in agreement with my last two sentences, once he finishes looking offended. Good, then this will hit him pretty hard.

“Do you think it's fair to this 'daughter' that you love so much doesn't get to learn those same lessons? How will she survive on her own?” Yep, he gets it now. Of course, he isn't happy about it.

“Who do you think you are, monster, to tell me how to raise my own daughter?” Filthy Rich shoots back, though he makes sure not to step any closer.

“I'm the guy that had to nearly asphyxiate your daughter in order to keep her from ruining another filly's life!” Now I'm yelling at him. He just gets angrier when I bring up what I did to her. “If you don't believe me, just ask your damn daughter, and I mean REALLY ask her, and not just take her shit like you always do!”

Filthy Rich goes silent, and even the thugs look at him in fright. “Very well,” he finally says. “I will indeed speak with her. If I find that you are lying...I will come back with the guard, and then no human weapon will save you.”

“Knock yourself out. Now please get the fuck out of my face so I can go home,” I grunt. Filthy Rich glares at me one last time, and then he stalks away, beckoning for his thugs to follow him. I don't budge an inch until I can barely see them.

I let out the breath that I had been subconsciously holding. Goddamn that was tense. I was sure my bluff would be called, and I would get beaten to death. I kiss the muzzle of the rifle lovingly. It doesn't even have any bullets, and it's still saving my ass.

I'm probably going to have to deal with the guard somehow. I did hurt a filly, and I doubt Filthy Rich is going to take my advice seriously. He'll probably ask her, and then fall under her sway like always. I've seen relationships like that, and it never ends well when you challenge the father. If I hadn't pretended that this rifle actually worked, he'd have beaten the shit out of me for the things I said.

Well, I don't give a fuck if I end up in pony jail. At least then I'll have that alone time that I've been wanting.

A few minutes later, I'm walking back into Vinyl's house as the sun dips below the horizon. The house is completely silent for some reason. I wonder where Vinyl is? Oh well.

I take the opportunity to walk upstairs and shut myself in my room. I set the rifle against the desk and strip out of my clothes, before finally slipping into bed. It's high time I got some quality sleep. I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. That way I'll wake up feeling rested.

Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow.

Author's Notes:

I've been envisioning that scene at the end of this chapter for several months, especially the line about the apex predator. It feels so surreal that I've stuck with this long enough to actually write that part out. I'm a little excited.

This arc should be over in the next chapter. Or if it takes too long, two chapters. But generally near the end of an arc, I go into overdrive, so you'll probably get a double update.

Also, if you're wondering why those song lyrics up there didn't have a music link, it's because I wrote them, and I can't write accompaniment to save my life.

Stay tuned! It's gonna be epic!