Whether We Like It or Not
Chapter 34: Chapter 33: No Dream Too Big
Previous Chapter Next ChapterHow long had it been? How many decades upon decades had it last been since she had wandered the dreamscape?
When she was banished - exiled to the moon - there was little she could do. On occasion she could feel some sort of connection, some vague reminiscence of what she once had, of what she once flowed through like water did through the cracks of a stone. Yet it was never enough. The distance was too great. Even for her.
When she returned, she did not have the opportunity to fix this issue. So swift and unexpected had her defeat been at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony that she never even managed to show much as a glance at what was once her escape from reality. Her reminder of what she did and how important it was.
It came as a bit of a shock when the dreamscape appeared before her now, then. An entire plain of indeterminate shapes and swirling amalgams that were the dreams of hundreds, if not thousands of ponies. Many were disappearing, bit by bit. Like flames upon candles, being snuffed out so viciously. The sun was beginning to raise, after all. She felt it. And so ponies would no longer need to dream.
There was some stray comfort in the back of her mind as she realized something. Despite how long it had been - despite how much had happened - it was all still the same. She wasn't quite ebbing through the dreamscape as majestically as she would have liked, some dreams seeming just a bit blurry in some places or seeming to flicker in others, but she still clearly had control.
Her thoughts narrowed to more pertinent subjects, scanning through the disappearing forms of dreams and incorporeal masses in search of one in particular. She knew the signs to look for. Jeremy had just gone to sleep, after all, so it was likely that his dreams were still minuscule; half-formed and growing.
In some ways, that should make the dream hard to find. If it was smaller, still forming, then by all means it should barely be visible among the usual flood of dreams that engulfed the dreamscape. In others, it was easier. It was the only dream that was fresh and forming, after all, as all the others were aged and dying out.
She took some pride in the fact that it barely took her a few moments to find what she sought. A freshly blossoming dream, just barely past the genesis of creation and beginning to shimmer in its self-imposed glory. Nightmare Moon took note of the fact that this dream seemed different than the others, for a couple of reasons.
For one, while most of the other dreams around her - as well as most that she had recalled seeing in the past - could be more easily comparable to nebulas of color that only vaguely retained some form of cohesion amongst themselves, this newly formed dream was becoming far more uniform. The easiest comparison that one could see would be that of dust, slowly but surely forming into a self-contained orb that shimmered in a non-existent light.
Another reason that this dream seemed different, which brought a grimace from the alicorn, was the signatures of dream magic that could be seen surrounding this mass of shimmering light. It was clear as crystal. So blatantly obvious, it was as though someone had gone out of their way to make it seem so.
Nightmare Moon mused to herself that it was likely because there was nopony else that could dream-walk quite so expertly. There was no need to hide the familiar signatures of magic lingering throughout the faint mental landscape if nopony else would look through it, or argue against its presence there in the first place.
But now there was another who could see it. And she was not happy.
Willing herself to focus once more, she opened a familiar connection in the back of her mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not more than a few feet away from where Nightmare Moon sat and where Jeremy slept, Chrysalis stood with a less-than-animated frown. While to Nightmare Moon the two might as well have been worlds upon worlds away, to Chrysalis the alicorn was sitting perfectly still across from her, her eyes closed and magic shimmering.
They were not floating within an indecipherable void made up of abstracts and fiction derived from the faint stray machinations of the minds of ponies and other creatures alike. They were in a simple bedroom, sat in absolute silence save for the barely perceptible sounds of a human's restful breathing.
Once again, Chrysalis had been forced to play the waiting game. She was getting quite sick of it at this point.
She licked at her lips absentmindedly, still remembering the taste of pure love that had so effectively washed out the bitter taste of residual magic. Her eyes glanced at the human in the bed next to her. She watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath, a far-off part of her mind making some vague mention of just how peaceful he looked when he slept.
"Ironic," she thought to herself, "considering how dangerous those dreams might just be to us all now."
"Yes," another thought came, this one not her own, "and we intend to resolve that."
Chrysalis felt her eyes narrow ever so slightly as the sound of Nightmare Moon's voice entered her mind. She wondered if she had been thinking aloud, but decided not to entertain the concept any longer than she had to.
"So have you found anything yet?" Chrysalis asked, shifting her stance in the physical world so that she may provide an even stare at the form of Nightmare Moon. Obviously, she wasn't expecting any sort of visual return of this gesture; it was more out of habit whenever they had these mental conversations.
"It is just as we theorized. Our 'other self' has been searching through his dreams, at the bare minimum." Chrysalis didn't notice as her lips thinned ever so slightly. There was certainly the beginnings of something at the pits of her chest, but she couldn't quite pin down what it was. Anger? Frustration? Fear, even?
She chalked it up to simply being concerned about Luna learning about them, as well as how much information she may have gained already. It didn't quite line up with it what she felt - if anything, these emotions seemed more in line with something aimed for the sake of others rather than herself - but she made herself believe that it did.
"Brilliant. So, what happens now?" Chrysalis sneered, flicking her changeling equivalent of a mane to the side as a stray strand or two suddenly seemed to be far more annoying to her than they should have been.
"We shall endeavor to capture our other half within the recesses of Sir Jeremy's psyche. Should we do so, we would be able to instead take root through her mind as she has been doing to Sir Jeremy." While on paper the plan seemed sound enough, Chrysalis nonetheless found her brows furrowing as she heard it.
"And you'll have the power to do so? You don't exactly have a thousand years' worth of stored-up magic to use this time around." She warned. In return, she received a brief flash of concern and hesitancy.
"We are aware of this. If we deem the idea a lost cause, we will simply rid Sir Jeremy's mind of this incursion. Once our former self is out and away from his dreams, we shall seal them away so that none may enter without our permission."
"And if that isn't possible?"
"Prithee, what other choice would we have than to try?"
It was Chrysalis' turn to close her eyes, taking in a deep breath through her nose as she skimmed through her thoughts. Try as she might, she could not think of a better plan. This opportunity, while not ideal, had been presented to them seemingly out of nowhere. If they can get a glance into the mind of one of Equestria's princesses, even for just a moment, there would be a limitless amount of potential behind what information they might stand to gain.
If not, at the very least it was a matter of absolute necessity to kick the princess out of Jeremy's dreams, as well as seal off the dreams of the others at a later time. They could not risk having to worry about their dreams betraying them every time they took so much as a nap.
"What do you need?" Chrysalis asked, resigning herself to the role of spectator, seeing as she had no real inclination towards dream magic herself.
"Time. Searching through the depths of another being's mind is not simple. We will need time to do so if we want to find what we are seeking. During this, Sir Jeremy must stay asleep and we must stay in a state of uninterrupted focus, lest our search comes to an abrupt end." Nightmare Moon explained, drawing a curt physical and mental nod from Chrysalis.
The changeling monarch stood from her place next to Jeremy's place, giving the sleeping form of the human one last glance before walking towards the door that lead out of the bedroom. Her horn glowed a deep green, a similar aura enveloping the room's walls, floor, and ceiling before just as swiftly dimming once again.
"I've cast a soundproofing spell on the room. I'll make sure that you aren't disturbed until nightfall." Chrysalis mentally spoke, opening the door to the room as she made her way out.
"We thank thee." Nightmare Moon returned with an earnest sense of appreciation in her tone. Chrysalis scoffed at this, shaking her head as she enveloped the wooden door in her magic.
"Just don't buck this up."
The green glow surrounding the door intensified somewhat as it was violently slammed shut. Yet it did not make so much as a peep.
One last soundproofing spell, it seemed, had been cast.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever so faintly, Nightmare Moon could note the far-off sounds of hoofsteps fading away. She felt some strain in the back of her mind; a reminder that she wasn't quite as adept at dream-walking as she used to be.
Before, she would be able to have entire coherent conversations with others while she quartered off a portion of her mind to look through the dreams of the many sleeping citizens of Equestria. Now, she couldn't even risk opening her eyes, having to remind herself again and again how to navigate through the magic of the dreamscape.
It was like having to blink or breathe manually. Certainly not impossible or difficult, but it would take at least a bit of time before it became easier again.
She looked towards the orb of dust that had finally settled into shape, gleaming in an unknown light to form a corona of light as though it were some overly gaudy soap bubble. With a look of confidence on her face, she stepped forth, breaching the thin boundary that separated her mind from the dream before her.
In the past, many had wondered what it was like to enter the dreams of others. Even to this day, the sentiment remains. Was it some grand show of magic that split space and time at the seams? Was it the forming of a bridge of light, shining the path through a tunnel of darkness? Or was it all so rudimentary for the princess of the night that such a monumental feat came as easily as moving the moon?
The answer was disappointingly anticlimactic. To the princess of the night - whichever form of her there might have been - entering dreams was the equivalent of walking through a thin layer of fog. There was no theatrics of a grand scale, no upheaval of the laws of the universe to bend at their will. Instead, it was just a moment of 'one second you're here, the other second you're there'.
The vastness of the dreamscape faded, abstract shapes and colors suddenly taking note of their own inconsistency as they rapidly worked together to provide some kind of understandable image. Within seconds, Nightmare Moon found herself standing in the midst of a small field. The breeze was cold, but not unpleasantly so. The sky above was that of the night sky - one which she could not recognize despite her best efforts. Stars glinted and shone down upon the world like beads of shattered glass, too small to identify with a glance. Each of these lights seemed to provide a faint glow to the green and damp grass that tamped underneath her hooves.
Nearby, there was a small hill, just barely tall enough to be considered one. And resting on that hill, bathed in the glow of the almost pulsating moon directly above, was the familiar form of a human.
Nightmare Moon's eyes shifted between her personally deemed knight and the moon above, her lips pursing ever so slightly as she felt an odd sensation of familiarity towards the celestial body above. Unlike the stars, this moon had been far too familiar to her. It was as out of place as... well, as Jeremy was in the world of ponies. And Nightmare Moon knew the reason.
Steeling herself, she made her way up the side of the hill. The cold and wet feeling of the grass made her shudder as she climbed the slight incline towards Jeremy, who was lying on his back against the floor. He did not seem to mind the wet ground beneath him. Rather, he had seemed to be taking it in stride, arms crossed behind his head and legs upon one another as he looked up towards the moon with a simplistic smile on his face.
Were it any other situation, Nightmare Moon might have taken a moment to enjoy the sight of her close friend seeming so relaxed. Especially as he enjoyed the night sky above. But she knew what this all was.
A façade. One made not by Jeremy or his mind. Her eyes narrowed at the moon above for just a brief moment, well aware of who the true culprit was.
Cresting the top of the hill, the alicorn leaned her head directly over Jeremy, blocking his sight of the lunar body above.
"Sir Jeremy," she called, "are you well?"
The human, in turn, blinked hazily at her, the simple smile on his face never leaving. He gave a giggle of sorts for a moment as he took to opportunity to shift slightly in his position on the hill. Something about the way that Jeremy was carrying himself was off. In the back of Nightmare Moon's thoughts, she recognized another sensation of familiarity.
"Oh, hi Moony." He spoke cheerily, his voice peaceful as he did so. Nightmare Moon blinked, caught ever so slightly off-guard by the sudden cute abbreviation of her name. "Been a while since I've seen you in here."
Again, Nightmare Moon blinked, markedly more emphasized than before.
"You... have seen us here before?" She questioned. Whatever she had been focused on prior was momentarily taking a backseat of sorts as her curiosity and confusion took the forefront of her mind.
Jeremy raised an arm and waved it as though shooing away some stray fly that had flown too close to his personal bubble.
"Oh yeah, a few times. Mostly for hugs. Preening your wings was a bit of a new one, but I blame Gilda for that one." Nightmare Moon's eyes widened ever so slightly at Jeremy's words. At first, she thought that Luna might have taken her form in an effort to extract information from Jeremy. But as she looked upon the idea, she realized that there were a few flaws that were quickly making themselves known.
Jeremy's arm suddenly reached up, closing the gap between him and Nightmare Moon. He passed his hand over her muzzle briefly, drawing a twitch from the alicorn, before resting it steadily and kindly upon her cheek. Nightmare Moon felt a warmth make its way over her, settling upon her face. A small part of her insisted that she pull away from the sudden contact on instinct. A notably larger part of her, however, was all too keen to note how wonderful it felt to have the human gently caress her cheek with the base of his thumb.
"Your fur feels a lot softer than usual. It's nice."
Nightmare Moon would be lying if she said that she had wanted this moment to end. She could feel her eyes close as she allowed herself to focus on the feeling of Jeremy's hand, leaning into its grasp as it supported her in turn. Everything else suddenly seemed so much less important.
Yet, despite the small part of her psyche that so desperately hoped for this moment never to end, Nightmare Moon frowned. Her eyes opened as she looked down at Jeremy, watching as the human returned the gaze with seemingly no hint of thought in his eyes. The frown deepened as she realized why this seemed so vaguely familiar to her.
With nary a word, Nightmare Moon's horn shone for a moment. The light focused near the very tip of her horn, growing smaller and thinner with every passing moment. It built pressure inwards of itself, like a microscopic balloon that was being squeezed tighter and tighter until, finally, it burst. The bead of magic sprang forth from her horn, small as a needle yet swift as a bullet directly into Jeremy's forehead.
The human held no outward reaction to what should have been a fatal blow, only looking up in childlike curiosity and wonder as the light left little to no indication of its existence where it had punctured him. The effect it had, however, was instant nonetheless.
All at once, cloudiness that Jeremy never realized he had began to clear from his mind. Thoughts that would flow freely and without any real rhyme or reason behind them suddenly became concise and organized. They began to follow a pattern that Jeremy could recognize as that of his usual form of thinking. In as little as an instant, Jeremy was suddenly very aware of who he was, as well as where he was.
"... Nightmare Moon?" He asked, closing his eyes blearily as he abruptly realized how much of an immense amount of strain was behind them. He moved his hand away from Nightmare Moon, to her disappointment, and used it to instead sit upright.
Nightmare Moon could vaguely note the fact that the cool breeze from before had vanished. The grass suddenly seemed far duller. Even the many stars of the night sky seemed dimmer than before.
"Where... the fuck are we?" Jeremy suddenly queried, confusion clear in his voice.
"Within your dream, Sir Jeremy." She responded calmly. She had some far-off recollection of the fact that sometimes ponies would need a moment to reorient themselves to the fact that they were no longer in the physical realm. It was best to ease them into it when this happened.
"Dream?" The human echoed, glancing back to the alicorn next to him before returning his gaze to the vista around him. He could be heard muttering under his breath, repeating the word as though it were suddenly a foreign concept to him.
"Yes, Sir Jeremy. A dream." She took a step closer to him, a wing of hers flaring before brushing ever so gently against his side. He held no reaction to the sudden sensation, which Nightmare Moon took to mean that it at the very least was not unwelcome. "Do you recall how you came to be here? The circumstances of our presence in the dreamscape?"
The human scratched at the side of his head, less because of an itch he had need of scratching, more because he felt he needed to do something with his hands.
In truth, everything was garbled. He was suddenly aware of the world around him. In fact, that was the issue. It was as though he was too aware. Like a fever dream, where everything feels overly sensitive and overtly omnipresent. Every sensation was on overdrive. His skin took in shifts in the wind as knives across his flesh. His mouth could taste the blood coursing through his tongue. His ears could hear his heart more than they could the world around him. His nose felt clogged, yet burned with the sensation of air so crisp it might as well have been made of glass. Even his sight betrayed him, providing him some odd sensation of believing he was looking at some off-putting variations of hallucinations, mirages, or tricks of the light all at once.
He was so truly, superbly, horrifically aware of the world around him. The only thing that seemed real - that seemed right at that very moment - was the alicorn standing next to him. Whenever he focused his thoughts on her presence, all else would seem normal at a glance.
He gathered himself, thoughts and all, while subconsciously leaning towards the soft feathers of the alicorn's wing that grazed his back.
"Yeah, yeah, I-" he paused for a moment, rubbing at his eyes, "I remember now. I think? Christ, it's hard to think like this."
Nightmare Moon grimaced as she watched him. Most ponies would need, at worst, a few seconds to adjust to the realization that they were dreaming. And even then, their adjustments would typically just be a matter of them taking in their surroundings and accepting them as a pseudo-reality.
Jeremy did not follow this pattern. He could not see the world around him as a fake. The human mind was simply not fashioned in such a way. There was imagination. There was thought. There was emotion. There was reality. And somewhere between all of those intermingled parts, there was the part that made a person who they were. There was no space for delusions or secondary planes. Only things that could be supplicated by medicines, mental physicians, asylums, and shock therapy would allow for those kinds of concepts.
To put it simply, it was a lot to get used to.
In the back of her mind, Nightmare Moon wondered if this had something to do with the fact that there was no magic in Jeremy's place of origin. He had mentioned before to her that dreams had no real guardians, after all. Not to mention the lack of magic.
She took note of the fact that he seemed to favor the wing against him as he spoke, a cavalcade of memories regarding dream theory flashing through her mind before she settled on one. The need for an anchor, of sorts. Something to serve as a reference as to what was real so that the mind would be able to tell the things apart, and hopefully adapt.
She held no reservations this time, treating Jeremy as she did when she had first met him in physical form. Her forehooves wrapped around him, bringing him back into her body while she enveloped his small world of sense in her wings and body. She leaned her head down towards him as he gave a grunt, hushing gently as he grunted and struggled against the sudden embrace.
"I- You- What the-"
"Shhhhhh, all is well, Sir Jeremy." She cooed, nuzzling against the top of his head with her own as she did so. At the moment, it was just them. There was no dream. No landscape. No anything. It was just her, him, and the feathers of her wings serving as blinders to the world around them. "Use this moment to orient yourself. Remember, you are in the dreamscape. We are here with you. We are real. You are real. That which is not us is a fabrication. No more, no less."
Jeremy's struggles slowed. The sensations that had been overwhelming him calmed, bit by bit. They were still there, like an itch in the back of his neck that he simply couldn't scratch, but he was now able to form more coherent thoughts. Longer thoughts.
He was Jeremy. The alicorn holding him was Nightmare Moon. They were in his dream.
Details filled his mind. Things that, while present before, seemed to have been slowly but surely dragged out of whatever filing cabinets he had mentally held them in earlier. He made an effort to put the office room of his psyche back in order.
The possibility of Luna looking into his dreams. The idea of having Nightmare Moon look into his dreams too to check, as well as an act if that were the case.
He took in a breath of air, filling his lungs to capacity.
Gilda propositioning him for sex yet again in front of the others. The fact that he had been essentially been given over a dozen small good night kisses from Chrysalis in order to put him to sleep. Everything he had just told Nightmare Moon about his prior dreams, as well as caressing her cheek.
He half-choked on that same breath of air. He hazarded a glance at the alicorn that was nuzzling against him, a part of him praying for an aneurysm to take him in his sleep suddenly.
Nightmare Moon looked down at him benevolently, a soft smile on her face as she saw flashes of Sir Jeremy that she knew finally reestablished themselves fully.
"Better?" She asked, receiving a nod in turn.
"More or less." The human in her grasp sighed, earning a giggle from the alicorn.
"It will have to do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't mourning the loss of my great throne.
No, I'm not referring to the one that I had in my hive. That time of mourning had passed long ago. I was referring to the smaller throne I had made out of pillows and cushions in my boredom.
Alas, one has to make sacrifices in the name of progress. Especially when some of that progress involves hunting down one of Equestria's princesses in their astral projection.
What was even more irritating was a recent discovery I had been made well aware of. One of true horror and pain that I would not wish upon any being, sentient or otherwise.
"You can't just ignore me, skeleton-skin. I know you can hear me."
"Inside and outside your head."
The alicorn had apparently added the griffon into the mental link we shared alongside the human.
I had gone through all that effort to soundproof that room for her, and how does she repay me? By making it a chore for me to soundproof my mind.
I took in a deep breath as I summoned forth whatever amount of will I could to keep from removing the bones of the griffon next to me.
"Why must the Empress torture me so?" I muttered as I laid my head down on the arm of the couch.
The griffon was laid on her back next to me. Her legs were crossed over one another, kicking gently to the beat of some invisible tune that was likely playing in her mind. She lazily bobbed her tail back and forth, on occasion swinging one of her arms towards the appendage, lightly batting at the puff of fur at the end of it.
"You know, I can't really guess," Gilda responded coyly. She did little to hide the smarm behind her tone, and her emotions only failed to make it even more obvious that she didn't care.
I still wasn't quite a fan of the fact that this was how the griffon chose to entertain herself whenever Jeremy wasn't around. And I never would be.
A part of me missed the feeling of boredom I had before.
Another part of me was taking great joy in noting the reactions of the griffon whenever I threw a rightfully earned barb or two her way.
And another part... was distracted.
I'm not sure quite how much time passed since I had arrived in the living room, filled in the other two about what was going on, and then taken the opportunity to rest on the couch again, but one thing was absolutely certain.
The griffon was the only being, aside from me, that had spoken the entire time. The mare, Halfy, was silent.
Yes, on occasion she would nod or shake her head when addressed, but she never so much as spoke a word. At first, I believed it to be her usual breed of timidity.
One glance at her emotions shot that theory down rather quickly.
There was so much turmoil within her. So much confusion, anger, sadness, uncertainty, betrayal, insecurity, and the list goes on. It was a veritable whirlwind of emotions constantly circling in place. Eventually, even the brain-dead being next to me could take notice, slowly but surely easing on the overuse of their vocal cords until they were all but silent.
Both the griffon and I stared at the mare, whose eyes were focused on the floor and furrowed in contemplation.
"Yo, Halfy, you good?" Gilda asked, her attention no longer on her own tail as she allowed it to lazily fall next to her.
The bandaged mare flinched, startled from suddenly being so directly addressed, before turning her attention toward us. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, before speaking.
"Oh, uh, y-yeah. I'm fine." She lied. A poorly made one, at that. I scoffed but otherwise didn't make a comment.
"Sounds like a crock o' pigeon shit to me there, bud," Gilda replied, no less unconvinced than I had been. By now, she had abandoned her lax posture, sitting herself upright as she looked towards the earth pony. The pony shrank ever so slightly under the griffon's new position and gaze.
"I-Its nothing, really." Halfy once again lied.
Honestly, it was pathetic just how bad of a liar she was. I had seen foals have an easier time fibbing about their 'boo-boos' and 'ouchies' than this mare did lie about her emotions.
"Clearly it ain't. Now, how about ya spill it? What's got you so hung up?" Gilda removed herself from her place on the couch, making her way over to Halfy's side, never removing her gaze from her the entire time that she did.
Halfy grew nervous, uncertain as to how to respond, but found a good portion of that nervousness swept away as the griffon took her under her wing. Literally.
"Look, I ain't great with the mushy talking-about-your-feelings junk that you ponies do, alright?" Gilda began with a roll of her eyes. Halfy looked up at her with a raised brow, watching as she went on. The griffon paid it no mind, tossing one of her forelegs over the mare and pulling her close, as though into a gentle one-armed headlock while retracting her wing. Halfy gave out a squeak at the sudden proximity but otherwise did not make any complaints known.
"So, with that in mind, what say we skip the gooey 'you can always talk to your friends junk' and just get right to the 'talking about it will make you feel better' garbage? Sound good?" Gilda smirked as she spoke, bobbing up and down as she looked down at the earth pony in her grasp.
The mare did not speak. Her emotions flared once again. Doubt and hope fought against one another as wild animals did over a morsel of food during a famine. She was beside herself, unsure if she should go one way or the other. All she needed was a little push.
And while I wasn't personally inclined to be that push, per se, I was at least enjoying the moment of not being the center of the griffon's attention. So, if I kept this going, I could avoid it for just a few moments more.
"Just take the hint and let the egocentric pebble brain do her good deed for the day." I all but sighed, resting my head on one of my hooves as I watched the display before me.
The griffon, obviously, was not very appreciative of my assistance. Yet, it was the assistance that had worked. The hope within Halfy won out, though just barely, as she took in a breath to gather herself.
"... Do you both remember what my cutie mark means?" This drew a questioning look from both me and the griffon.
"Uh, yeah, it means that you can, like, see if some folk are good or bad, right?" Gilda recalled, proving once more that her memory skills were at the very least at a grade school level.
"And how is that important?" I queried, drawing a shake from Halfy's head. Her mind was getting fuzzy again as she put together a variety of emotions through her subconscious.
"Growing up, it was always obvious what would happen. Bad ponies will end up doing bad things, good ponies would end up doing good things." It was a simple enough concept, obviously. And by the sound of her voice, as she said it, it had been one that she had practically made into a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy in her mind. Something that she lived by. Yet, her expression hardened somewhat. "But there were always... exceptions."
" ' Exceptions'?" I asked. I didn't have to wait long for an explanation.
"Nopony is perfect. They make mistakes, they get turned around and they get scared. W-whatever it is, they end up doing bad things while still being good."
I noted just how much that related to all of us. The invasion of Canterlot during the wedding of one of Equestria's princesses, the attempts at taking over the world, and even the less severe loss of friendships through strained personal relations. While they were varying degrees of severity, they could technically be considered to be 'bad things done by good ponies'.
Personally, I wouldn't have called myself 'good', as it were. 'Utalitarian', 'deceitful', 'opportunistic', those all fit the bill of what made up a changeling just fine. But 'good'? I had always seen that as a stretch.
"What are ya getting at?" Gilda had taken the opportunity to ask a question of her own.
The mare's eyes wandered downwards again. Then, much to my earnest surprise, she narrowed them. It was as though she were trying to burn a hole into the floor below. Her emotions reflected this sudden change, hints of anger beginning to fester just at the tail-end of her mind.
"I... I saw the 'good' that made up Princess Celestia."
Before, she had my curiosity. Now? She had my undivided attention.
I watched the griffon's feathers ruffle ever so slightly as I raised my head from the couch rest. There was no anger from Gilda, but a rather distinct idiosyncrasy.
"Dude... No way." She uttered. A smile made its way onto her beak as she jerkily grabbed and turned Halfy to face her, eliciting another noise of surprise from the mare. Forearms on either side of the mare's shoulder, she looked her dead in the eye and jostled her as excitement rose in her mind. "That stuff works on Celestia?"
She was practically giddy with excitement, as though she were some secondary school student that was just about to learn about a particularly juicy bit of gossip. In hindsight, that shouldn't be a surprise to me. She certainly fit the role of someone that never grew far past that phase in their life.
"W-well, yes. But that's just it. I... I don't understand exactly what I saw." She paused for a moment, eyes darting down to the floor, up to the griffon, and eventually back to me. I raised a brow, crossing my forearms in front of me as I leaned my head forward.
"How so?" I asked.
"I-I mean, she- I don't-" She stumbled over her words, again and again, trying and failing to parse her thoughts as she grew more and more frustrated at her inability to explain what she so desperately wanted to. The little embers of anger from before grew like sparks in a pile of hay, threatening to burn down not just the hay, but perhaps the entire building that might have been used to store it.
This was the first time I had ever seen her show such powerful emotion. There had been sadness. There had been hope. There had been happiness. There had been fear. But anger?
I had been doubting that she was ever even capable of it for a while.
"She was good." She finally said with a grunt. Then, as if not satisfied with her own words, she stomped her hoof onto the floor. "No, she wasn't just good, she was practically twice as good. L-like I was looking at two good ponies in one!"
The griffon tilted her head as she looked down at the mare in her grasp.
"Uh... okay? I was kinda hoping for some big 'the princess of the sun is secretly evil' twist." She responded. There were some clear signs of discontent from her. Evidently, she believed she had suddenly been robbed of some exciting event in her life at the last moment. All that build-up, just to be told something that she had been likely been told by other ponies throughout her entire life.
The griffon shrugged, pushing past some of the apparent disappointment she felt.
"So, like, what's the problem?"
Halfy shook her head and stomped her hoof into the floor yet again.
"I-I've never seen anypony so good. Anywhere. So why? W-Why is there so much bad happening because of her?" Her voice was beginning to rise, far higher than any whisper or muttering she had provided before. "Why were you and Nightmare Moon locked away from the rest of the world? Why was Jeremy tortured? Why did she threaten us? Why did my dad have to-"
She paused.
Like a single pane of glass somehow managing to halt a rockslide, the silence was unexpected yet fragile. Her emotions flared for one last time, giving one mighty roar, before dying out. They were hidden away in the confines that they were normally held behind once again.
The griffon and I were silent, glancing at one another wordlessly as we watched the mare sit in silence.
"I just-... What's the point of seeing the good in others if they can still do bad things anyways?" Her voice grew silent as she spoke, returning to its usual tone and volume. Seemingly without thinking, she reached a hoof up towards the bandage across her eye and grimaced.
Under any other circumstance, I would have pressed her about what she had just said. After all, it seemed like a rather pertinent bit of information. Perhaps I had grown softer over time. Perhaps I was simply uninclined to focus on such a thing at the time. Whatever the reason, I didn't push for it.
"You said it yourself," I instead scoffed, drawing the attention of the two before me. "Nopony is perfect. In the over a thousand years I have been alive, I have witnessed all kinds of things. The changing of seasons; the beginnings and endings of wars. And, of course, the stumbles of self-proclaimed heroes and protectors into their own abysses of self-pity and wallowing."
The memories were practically fresh in my mind. I never truly forgot the faces or names of any of those creatures I had come across and witnessed in my formative years. Granted, I never had any particular connection to them either, but they certainly provided me with ample experience regarding manipulating the average mind.
"Anypony- any being, really, can ultimately do bad things in the same way as any being can simply choose to ignore their own conscience. Typically though, those mistakes are on a small scale. A stolen carrot, a lover's quarrel, the betrayal of a friend."
I found myself leaning forward, eyes narrowing as my voice grew deathly serious.
"But add to that the attention of an entire people? A civilization looking towards and relying on your decisions, big and small, just so that they can decide whether or not they should wear one type of clothes on a certain day of the year or another, and suddenly it doesn't matter how 'small' those mistakes seem to you. The consequences are always immense."
I knew this very well. The consequences of my mistakes could be found loosely buried in thousands of shallow graves miles from there. That is, for those that we even had the time to give a burial to in the first place.
"I'm not personally one to play Discord's Advocate. By all means, the only hopes I have for Celestia are those that involve her being suspended inside of a capture pod, as I had managed not so long ago. If you want to do what all ponies do when confronted with something evil and try to solve the situation with 'the magic of friendship', however? At least you know that it seems possible now." I focused my gaze on Halfy. "Otherwise, how would you be speaking to most of us?"
As I finished speaking, I was once again greeted by silence. I wasn't sure if my words had really provided anything. I was fine with that. I would happily have said that the words were much more for my own sake than for that of the mares.
Something swiftly broke that silence though. The griffon spoke up, providing her own subtle take on all that was said.
"... You're how old?"
Oh, my mistake. Did I say subtle? I meant to say 'shovel'. As in, I wanted to bury her out back after beating her head in with a 'shovel'. A novel mistake.
To my surprise though, the griffon's poor attempt at following along with the conversation seemed to have drawn a reaction from the mare that was still in her grasp.
All at once, her volatile emotions were vanquished. More than likely, the response had been so absolutely ridiculous, yet so cartoonishly on brand for the griffon, that Halfy broke down laughing.
She chortled. She guffawed. She snorted. At one point, she gave vague pleas for air as the only thing keeping her from falling over onto her side was the griffon that held her. When that didn't work, she simply found herself leaning her head into the chest of her companion for support.
This threw the griffon off guard, evidently, as she raised her arms into the air as a sort of surrender. Yet, she did not make any motion to remove the mare from her place.
As her laughter filled the room, Gilda slowly began to join in. Before long, it was no longer a one-sided affair of one using the other for support. Instead, the two held each other desperately, doing their best to keep from falling over while they tried to keep from passing out due to lack of oxygen.
I watched the scene as it played out before me silently. I felt as though, in some way, I would never understand other beings that were so driven by emotions.
They could be manipulated. They could be tricked. They could be volatile. They could be unpredictable.
I was used to these concepts. I knew how to take them. To twist them. To use them to my advantage and move forwards with them as a kick spring. And I also knew how to keep myself from falling into the poor habits that came from indulging them.
This was why it was so odd that I found myself smiling as I watched the two before me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeremy rubbed his eyes for what must have been the third time since they had begun walking. Despite his best efforts, he just could not rid himself of that feeling of mental fatigue and a lack of focus that lingered in his mind. He had nearly run into several trees, bushes, and, on one occasion, a small creek.
The only reason that he had been able to keep himself even relatively on track was due to the presence of the alicorn that walked next to him. Any time that he felt as though his lack of focus was starting to get to him, he would simply allow his eyes to wander in her direction. Within moments, he would feel clear-headed. Of course, even that only lasted so long.
"How are you proceeding, Sir Jeremy?" Said alicorn asked, turning her head back towards the human just as he was in the middle of one of his stares in her direction. Under normal circumstances, he would have been somewhat embarrassed to have been seen gazing upon her in a way that he could only imagine to be 'creepy'. On this occasion though, neither he nor Nightmare Moon held any issues.
"I do not like magic, I'll tell you that much." He sighed. Nightmare Moon gave an affirmative hum as she glanced around the forest around them. Some parts of it were strikingly detailed, as though taken directly from the real world. Others, however, were much more blurred and uncanny. Mimics among mimics, brought together within the mind of another being by several forms of magic to provide some semblance of reality to a realm of dreams.
" 'Twould seem that magic does not favor you as well." She replied, taking note of one particular tree that struggled to hold any corporeal form whatsoever, seeming more like a blotch of paint on the horizon.
Jeremy found that to be an understatement, but decided against voicing his thoughts. He was much more inclined on hoping that things would get better as they proceeded.
Not long after Nightmare Moon had found him, she explained that she would be bringing him along on her dream-walking expedition into his mind. When he had asked why she gave a few rather significant reasons.
For one, this would ensure that Luna would no longer be able to look into his memories. This whole dream had been something entirely fabricated by the Princess of the Night. A sort of stasis that could be used to keep someone's mind safe, stable, and, more importantly, in one set place so that she could look through the inner depths of his psyche without issue or interruptions.
Jeremy had mentioned that this would probably tip Luna off about the fact that something was going on, what with him suddenly being aware of everything and Nightmare Moon's presence in the dream, but Nightmare Moon used the opportunity to assure him that it likely was not the case. Dreams, evidently, didn't follow the concept of time quite as simple as one might think.
In the same way that a being might fall asleep for what seems like a moment only to wake up hours later, or swear they had been asleep for days only to awaken a few minutes later, dreams had a rather similar effect. Even to those fluent in dream magic, it seemed.
Of course, all that really meant was that there was a decent chance that it would take Luna some extra time to realize what was going on. There was still no guarantee that she wouldn't realize it sooner rather than later, and she was bound to find out at some point no matter what. In other words, despite how abstract, unclear, or even illogical time might have been now, it was still very much of the essence.
Furthermore, Jeremy's presence was needed for another reason. Normally, it takes quite some time to burrow deep into the minds of others through their dreams. In some cases, it might even take days, depending on how complex the mind of an individual might be. Which was where Jeremy came in.
The mind, naturally, is not inclined to allow foreign entities into it. Just like you wouldn't be able to hear someone else's thoughts no matter how hard you focused, you wouldn't be able to do so easily through dreams either.
The being which owned these thoughts in the first place, however? Well, they could go as far in and out of their mind as they liked. All they needed to do was wander around in their own heads, like daydreaming during a particularly boring lecture or uneventful day. Like pulling a loose string from a sheet, one thought that would expectedly lead to another, then another, and then another. If one isn't careful, they end up far deeper in the depths of their own minds than they would have expected, up until they are snapped out of their musings.
Jeremy, in essence, was following that string, even if he was not aware of it. Simply by being aware enough to wander in his own dream, he would naturally follow his psyche further and further into his own mind, serving as a guide to both himself and Nightmare Moon through pure instinct and blind luck alone.
He couldn't help but be at least a little intrigued by Nightmare Moon's explanations of this. Not only because it wasn't every day that someone could hear somebody else talk so deeply and intricately about their fields of expertise, but also because Nightmare Moon seemed so incredibly pleased to have someone to share these concepts with. To her, it was like sharing a vital piece of her identity with someone she truly cared about. And watching him listen to her in such an enthralled and interesting way was positively intoxicating.
Jeremy raised a few questions, such as whether or not those concepts even could apply to the human mind just as well as they applied to the pony mind. Nightmare Moon, in exchange, stated that while his mind might in fact be different, the general direction of dream magic throughout every other species of being in Equestria, pony or otherwise, always followed the same pattern. There would be some adjustments to make, sure, but overall it shouldn't be an issue.
"So," he eventually asked, watching as an ear of hers twitched at the sound of his voice, "what exactly are we looking for then? Do we just randomly end up deeper in my mind while we're walking?"
"Nay... Well, mayhaps?" She grunted, pursing her lips as she searched for the right words to use. "The entry we seek further into your mind can come in many forms. 'Tis entirely dependent on what you would find to be... familiar."
"Familiar?" Jeremy asked.
"Yes. Something that your mind would find to be comforting or logical. For some, simply appearing in another place would be akin to their thoughts taking a sudden shift into an entirely different subject without warning. 'Tis not uncommon, nor is it likely. In laypony's terms, it would be best for us to seek something that simply seems to make sense."
"Like, say, Zecora's house?"
"Perchance. Prithee, why do you ask?" Nightmare Moon queried as she turned her head entirely to look toward the human just next to her. Jeremy, however, was not looking toward Nightmare Moon. Instead, his gaze was centered on the familiar-looking tree hut that lie in the middle of the seemingly endless forest around them.
He wasn't sure exactly when it had popped into view - and he would certainly describe its sudden appearance as just that, 'popped' - but when it had, there was some sort of clarity to it that nothing else around him held. Besides Nightmare Moon, of course. Once this sight had caught his attention, he simply could not lose track of it. It had become a permanent part of his perception of the world around him.
Following Jeremy's gaze, Nightmare Moon was just as swiftly able to spot the unique tree among the land of facsimiles, her brows raising at its sudden intrusion into the land around them. A smirk made its way onto her features as she shared a knowing glance with Jeremy.
"You are already an expert in trekking through your own mind, it would seem." She teased, drawing a chortle from Jeremy as he took a slight lead ahead of her toward the house.
"Hardly. I'd more attribute this to dumb luck and magic than how good I am at organizing my thoughts. If we were really finding stuff based on how I think, we would have walked another few miles just to get to the point."
Out of habit, Jeremy rapped his knuckles against the hollow wood of the door. He mentally chided himself as he did, remembering that, since this was a dream, it wouldn't be likely that Zecora would be there to answer for him.
Before he could reach for the handle though, the door took the initiative of responding to his polite request for acknowledgment. It creaked and shifted before, on its merit, it opened outwards for those who wished to enter.
Jeremy blinked, surprised by what he had witnessed, but ultimately pushed it aside as some combination of magic ridiculousness and backward dream logic.
Glancing inside, he noticed that he could not actually make out anything within the house. Rather, it was as though he were staring into a pure black void. No light dared enter, nor dare it escape, plunged into an inky darkness that would put even the purest forms of oblivion to shame.
Jeremy frowned at this, looking at Nightmare Moon questioningly as he pointed to the rather disconcerting sight before him.
"Any chance this isn't it?"
Nightmare Moon, the foremost expert on dreams, walker of the void between the dreamscape and the realm of waking, and former protector against nightmares and the terrors of the mind alike, shrugged.
Dreams were inherently unpredictable, after all. Even more when they regarded a species from another world.
Jeremy deadpanned, irked by the less-than-helpful response from Nightmare Moon. Nonetheless, he returned the shrug, shifting his gaze back to the entrance before him looking rather nonplussed.
In the past, this bleak and unknowable darkness might have scared him. Now? He simply greeted it with open arms, walking into the house as though he was walking into the comfort of his own bed. Nightmare Moon was barely a step behind. From the point of view of anyone that might have been watching, the last thing that would have been visible of the two as they entered was the azure shimmer of Nightmare Moon's abstruse tail, just before the door shut violently behind them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first ones to arrive were always the problematic ones.
Were it up to Celestia, she would simply call them 'misguided'. But deep down, she had far harsher words to describe them.
The ones that had little else to do with their time than wait in line at the crack of dawn just to bring up some small inconvenience or complaint that they had.
A crack in the sidewalk here, an imaginary grudge from a stranger there, things that could easily be handled by several other members of the city council besides one of their princesses.
Normally, she'd handle these sessions of day court easily enough. She would eat a quick breakfast while reading the news and responding to any letters that may have been marked as urgent, take a deep breath, and put on that nurturing smile that her little ponies knew her for before either kindly providing them with places in which they could refer their issues that might actually receive a proportionate response, or simply sigh and provide a reason as to why she could not aid them.
On rare occasions, something worthwhile would be brought up for her to hear. Something that actually necessitated my involvement. This was not one of those occasions.
As if that wasn't problematic enough, she was having some difficulty keeping with her usual pace and pattern as subject after subject came with their issues.
"You did this, you know? Spoiled them rotten with generations of babying, rather than teaching them to solve their own problems. All because you can't help but feel needed."
That same voice in the back of her head. The one that had been plaguing her for days and nights on end. Try as she might, she could do little to soothe her stress than to take little breaks when she could. Only then would the voice quiet somewhat, placated by Celestia's ministrations of minimizing her frustrations and points of contention.
Day court, however? What was practically a 10-hour straight hodge-podge of complaints from the nobility, questions about tax breaks, assurances from foreign dignitaries, and offers from those that wished to pitch their businesses: there was no escaping it.
On her good days, Celestia would blink and the day would suddenly seem as if it had ended in the blink of an eye. She would need some of her scribes and assistants to recount any important business that may have come up while she was evidently on auto-pilot, but otherwise, she would do away with whatever memories of the day there might have been and resolve to take a long bubble bath.
On her bad days, she was well and truly aware of each small complaint. Of each misspoken coo and poorly made bit of flattery. Of every major issue that plagued her ponies. Of every piece of hay that was stuck between some pony's teeth because, though they may have been more than happy to wait in line for hours on end, they could never risk wasting the time to so much as brush their teeth after having lunch before they came to see her.
This was one of the bad days. Celestia could tell because she knew how many ponies had evidently taken advantage of the recent surplus of hay fries that had come in after a shipment error.
"Like foals that can't even clean themselves up properly."
Her sister, Luna, had her own court to take care of as well. Well, at least she normally did. They had recently been postponed on account of recent events. Yet, she was never worried about falling behind or disappointing her subjects.
In her first few weeks after opening night court after her return, Luna had been nervous. She feared that others would see her for her former self, rather than who she was now. Worried that nopony would dare to show up for fear of being consumed by the mare on the moon herself.
It deeply hurt Celestia to see her sister in such a state, and she had offered to allow her to take some more time to grow used to the changes that had come about in her absence. She offered her time to reacquaint herself with the populace some more. But her sister was adamant.
'If I don't do it sooner, rather than later, I will never stop making excuses for myself,' she had said. Celestia couldn't help but be proud of her sister's bravery.
Especially when she found out just how well Luna was handling things some time afterward. While, yes, night court had been relatively empty early on, soon it would be positively packed with some of the more night-oriented members of Equestria: Thestrals, Griffons, late-night workers, the list went on.
Yet, Luna was never overwhelmed. She had made certain of that. There was no annoying noble providing a grievance over a small issue, nor was there some random citizen asking her to overreach her position to do something that said pony could have found other means to do on their own. Luna had made it absolutely clear since early on in the life of her night court: only issues that truly needed the help or aid of the crown should be brought forth.
It took some time, and more than a few uses of the Royal Canterlot voice, but eventually all those that went to Luna's night court learned their lesson.
Luna had suggested that Celestia do the same some time ago, during one of her particularly bad days, but Celestia could never really bring herself to do so. Small as some of those issues might have been, they were still the issues of her citizens nonetheless. She felt as though she would be failing in her duty to watch over and care for her citizens if she brought about such a drastic change without warning.
"You have already failed your duties. Many times."
She would bear the stress as she always had.
"They are still out there. Your sister suffers because of your hubris."
She could not afford to fail them again.
" It's not just your 'ponies' either, is it?"
She would not fail them again.
"You failed others far, far worse."
Never again.
She stifled the growing pain clawing at the back of her throat and threatening to seep from the bottom of her eyes as she reminded one of her citizens that the sale on alfalfa would be next week, rather than next month.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The surrounding darkness was ubiquitous. Omnipresent. Inescapable.
The two that entered found that there were no notable features to welcome them. Furniture, walls, ceiling, even a floor was absent. They could hear their footsteps and pony equivalents, yet they could not make out what surface they were even stepping upon to make such noise.
For a time, Jeremy was worried that he would lose his way. Whatever that 'way' may have been, at least. Nightmare Moon, however, had no such worries. So long as she followed Jeremy, they would ultimately end up in the right place, unknowable as it might have been.
True to her beliefs, they did, in fact, eventually come across something.
Another door, far larger and more uniform in both size and shape than that of Zecora's hut, could be seen not far from where they trekked. Once more, Jeremy was the first to spot it, despite the complete darkness that surrounded them as well as Nightmare Moon's advantage in regards to her natural visibility of the dark. And before long, the two found themselves leaving the realm of nothing, instead entering something comfortingly cozier.
The two found themselves surprised by the fact that the door was relatively well-sized for them.
They had long grown used to doors being more aptly sized to ponies by now, which of course meant that they had a tendency of needing to slightly lower their heads every time they entered a building unless they wanted either an impromptu concussion or to open up a hole in the frame of the doorway. It was practically second nature for them to do this, by this point.
This door provided no such issues.
Furthermore, they had been greeted by a rather small room. One that seemed like a bedroom, of sorts.
A single wooden dresser stood against one wall, its chestnut wooden frame housing a wide variety of shelves for all sorts of purposes. Atop it stood a small number of knick-knacks, paraphernalia, and discarded books. Opposite the dresser, placed just into one of the corners of the room, was an adult-sized bed, seemingly barely able to fit the form of Jeremy if he had decided to get into it, with a decently sized pillow and fairly thick sheets atop of it. A pair of bifold doors colored a stark white in the room of cool blues stood embedded into one of the walls, seemingly leading into another small room. Another door, similar to the one they had entered from, stood opposite of them. Finally, a decently-sized metal drafting table, positively covered in several half-finished sketches, stray pencils, a pair of open books stacked atop one another, a tipped-over picture frame, and a single desk lamp providing a dim light to the entire room that the desk took up a good portion of, alongside the rollable office chair that sat before it.
Nightmare Moon and Jeremy found themselves looking around the snug room curiously. Jeremy because he was overall unsure of where they were. Nightmare Moon because most of what she saw was rather... odd.
While the door to the room was much more welcoming to one of her size, the room itself was still a bit of a tight squeeze by alicorn standards. So she had to take care as she maneuvered around it, brushing up against Jeremy a few times as she did so.
She found herself drawn to some of the many objects that were strewn atop the dresser. Strange little figures of familiar, yet somewhat off-putting, animals that were made of some sort of ceramic. An odd set of dice of varying sizes and shapes. Some stray keys and letters. And, most interestingly of all to her, a small key-chained size globe of a world that seemed entirely unfamiliar to her.
Taking the globe into her magical grasp, she gave the item a once over before glancing around the room once again, confirming a very real detail that she had noticed not long after entering. Everything was oddly... 'human-sized'.
"Sir Jeremy, could this be a dream of your home world?" She asked.
Jeremy, in the meantime, was busying himself looking over the many items splayed lazily atop of the desk. He pointed the desk lamp directly towards the wall away from him, growing a bit nervous too close to the light, before paging through the many papers and items before him. In the back of his mind, something was eating at him. Everything around them, every last little detail, gave such an odd sense of nostalgia, but he just couldn't pinpoint why. That is until he turned over the picture frame on the desk.
Staring back at him, though oddly blurred in some places, was a photo of a small family of four. In it, two older-looking adults could be seen, though he was struggling to make out their faces. It was almost like the image had begun to age somewhat, smudging any notable features to the point of being near unrecognizable. The other two individuals in the photo, however, were much more recognizable. One of them was him, dressed in casual attire that one would stereotypically wear when at a beach or resort, smiling in some half-formed laugh that seemed to have been forming as the photo was taken. The other was a somewhat smaller, but strikingly similar-looking person, dressed in their own stereotypical vacation wear as well as a decently sized sunhat, practically covering half of their face. Jeremy could recognize that face anywhere.
It was his sister, Beatrice.
"... This isn't just my home world. This is my old apartment." He finally replied, dumbstruck by the realization.
How had he not noticed? The same paint, the same walls, the same poorly made sketches from when he was trying to come up with some designs for a small architectural firm he worked in at the time. The fact that it took him this long to remember was practically a shock in itself.
That feeling came and went quickly, replaced instead by feelings of elation and wonder as he took the opportunity to grab the office chair next to him and take a seat. It even had the same wobble to it from when he had been missing a screw that should have come with the set while he was building it.
"Jesus Christ..."
Jeremy was speechless. He looked over the papers before him once again, vaguely recognizing some of the designs he had made seemingly years ago before allowing his eyes to wander around the room.
Nightmare Moon had occupied herself by spinning the small globe in her magical place over and over again, doing her best to commit its image to memory. It was not often that one could see an entirely different world, let alone get such a scale view of it. Narrowing her eyes ever so slightly, Nightmare Moon's horn glowed ever so slightly brighter as she cast a spell or two, digging into her memories of the arcane to preserve the image before her through more effective means.
Once she was satisfied, she turned her attention to Jeremy, only now noticing just how overwhelmed he seemed.
Placing the charm back onto the dresser, Nightmare Moon gave an empathetic frown as she watched her human compatriot.
"Sir Jeremy?"
The human gave a slow, half-hearted nod in acknowledgment.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm fine. Just-"
He slid the chair back somewhat, filling the room with the sound of its small wheels spinning while he leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands.
"Just hard to believe I'm back here again, is all." He finished with a shake of his head.
"The realm of dreams is an unpredictable, yet boundless one. Just as easily as dreams can be brought forth from memories, so too can the inner depths of one's mind." Taking a few steps towards Jeremy, she once again reached out one of her wings, encompassing the human from behind in a gentle and soothing barrier of feathers and warmth. "Even memories we may have once thought to be lost to time."
Jeremy accepted the sensations of her wing just as readily as he had before. For a moment, he allowed himself to close his eyes, breathing in what he could practically swear was the same scent that he could only faintly remember lingered in his room, much like a child might recognize the smell of an old classroom that they came back to some years later.
A part of him wanted to stay where he was. He wanted to bask in the familiarity and nostalgia of everything around him, just for a little longer.
That fuzzy feeling in the back of his mind stopped him from lingering on it though. Try as he might, he was well aware of the fact that none of this was real. This was all, as literally as it possibly could be taken, in his head.
There were more important things to take care of.
Taking another breath, Jeremy stood from his seat with a grunt. He gave Nightmare Moon his thanks for trying to comfort him before carefully brushing past her in the small room and moving towards the door opposite of where they had entered. Once he was certain that Nightmare Moon was shortly behind, the two nodding at one another with small albeit melancholy smiles on their faces, he twisted the doorknob and entered the next room that awaited them.
Or, at least, that was what he had expected. Which was why it was so odd for both he and Nightmare Moon to end up finding themselves coming through the exact door they had entered in the first place.
Once more, he was in his old room, with everything just as he had left it.
For a time, he assumed this was a fluke. Uncertain, unlikely, completely random dream nonsense.
He was just as quick to assume that the second time it happened. And the third.
By the fourth, it was no longer amusing. By the seventh, it was downright infuriating. By the twelfth, Jeremy had taken to sprinting from one door to the other, crossing the same room again, and again, and again, hoping to see some semblance of change.
There never was.
At some point in this madness, Jeremy found himself back in the office chair from before, panting as he wondered how a person could feel tired in a dream. Nightmare Moon had, in a much more lax manner, taken a place on Jeremy's old bed. In fact, she sprawled herself across the relatively small mattress by about the eighth time they had looped back into the same room, simply taking the opportunity to watch Jeremy as he tired himself out leaving through one door, then entering through the opposite over and over again.
She was well aware enough of the mind to understand what was going on, and while she could have told Jeremy about it, she felt as though it would have been easier to do so once he was much less animated about leaving.
His being tuckered out on the office chair would suffice for that.
"If we were to hazard a guess, 'tis likely that we are within the part of your mind linking to sadness. More precisely, on this occasion, loss."
Still somewhat exhausted, much to his confusion, Jeremy shifted his gaze over to the alicorn that lay across his bed.
"Huh?"
"We are simply referring to the eight primary emotions that the mind cycles between." Nightmare Moon said with a shrug, gesturing to the room around them with a simple flap of one of her wings.
"Eight primary emotions?"
"Yes. Do you not have such concepts regarding the mind and its machinations within your world?" By now, Jeremy had sat himself up completely and spun his seat around to face the alicorn.
"...Maybe?"
As one might expect, there was, in fact, not such a theory within the world of humans. Or at the very least, there wasn't one that Jeremy was well aware of.
Much like humans had their own thoughts and curiosities about the mind and how it worked, ponies just as well had their own questions and concerns. However, unlike humans, they had a very clear and simple way of getting the answers that they needed. From the mouth of the one pony that could look through the minds of others as she could look through their dreams: Princess Luna.
Over a vast period of time, ponies had evidently compiled quite a bit of information based on Luna's wanderings through the minds of many individuals in Equestria. All of that information, eventually, lead to a rather popular and presiding theory about the makeup of the average pony's mind. That theory was colloquially known as the 'Primary Emotions Theory'.
At a base level, ponies were creatures of emotion above all else. Yes, they could learn, they could create, and they could adapt, but ultimately they all held a very close relation to their own emotions. Even the most battle-hardened, quick to anger, and stoic of military commanders could just as easily find himself tearing up if he saw a cute little rabbit trip and hurt itself falling down a hill.
Jeremy remembered some of the overly emotional ramblings of other ponies well enough to understand where this theory had merit so far. The memory of one particular mare that would always scream about 'the horror' whenever something that was even somewhat inconvenient troubled her before fainting made that much clear.
So, from that, ponies developed a theory that the mind was simply a series of emotions constantly layering itself atop one another depending on what was occurring in the life of a pony. More accurately, a pony would constantly be cycling between three of any of the eight primary emotions that tend to affect a pony most often. Happiness, Sadness, Love, Fear, Anger, Relief, Guilt, and Envy.
And from there, emotions would branch off into several smaller and more specific forms.
Even non-ponies seemed to have a tendency of falling under this curtain of psychological theory, though some were more likely to cycle between certain emotions than ponies. For instance, dragons had an increased tendency to cycle between the emotions of Envy and Anger, and Griffons tended to cycle between Anger and Happiness. Ponies, most commonly, cycled between Happiness, Love, and Sadness.
It was certainly an interesting take on the subject, and Jeremy wasn't inclined to disagree with it. However, there were some doubts that clouded his mind the more he thought about it.
For one, wouldn't that be overly generalized? It didn't really account for a lot of the smaller nuances behind why someone might act the way they did so much as it focused on why they might feel the way they did.
Also, what would that have to do with the situation that they were in now? How would sadness stop them from progressing any further in his mind? And for that matter, why did he apparently feel sad now? If anything, he felt as though he should have been more mad, considering how he had felt before he went to sleep, what with just finding out Luna was looking through his memories.
Regarding the former, Nightmare Moon asked Jeremy about how it was that humans organized their understanding of the mind. After all, they were an entirely different species with an entirely different way of acting, so it may not have been too far off to assume that their minds worked in different ways. Or, at the very least, it would provide an interesting point of comparison between cultures.
Jeremy was, most certainly, no expert. He didn't have a degree in psychology, nor did he have a near photographic memory of random trivia that would aid him in this discussion. The most he had was a murky understanding of basic psychology from a class he had taken back in college when he needed an elective for the credits.
While there were many theories that humans had about the mind and how it worked - certainly not as set in stone and certain as ponies had been about how their minds worked - one that Jeremy recalled well enough was the idea that the mind was split between three portions. The Id, the Ego, and the Super-Ego.
The Id focused on a person's primal needs and instincts, like the need for water or food. The Ego referred to a person's wants and sense of reality, like, say, wanting a candy bar at a convenience store. And the Super-Ego was their expectations and morals. It's what would prevent the person from simply stealing the candy bar despite wanting it. Then, it would be up to the Ego to decide between what was presented by the Super-Ego and Id as to what it, and by extension, the person, would do.
Nightmare Moon found the concept novel but felt it failed to deliver quite what was necessary in the same way that Jeremy felt the Eight Primary Emotions Theory had done.
Eventually, the conversation led to the question of what those emotions had to do with why they were stuck there in the first place.
When a pony goes to sleep, according to the theory, their mind defaults to the emotions that had been most present recently. So, a pony that had been having a rough few weeks might have a mind cycle between anger, sadness, and fear while they're sleeping, which usually leads to dreams expressing similar patterns. In other words, it was pretty common for dreams to originate based on these emotions.
Sadness and loss, for example, might lead to dreams based on revisiting that which was lost, or feeling stuck in place.
Which was rather apt, considering their situation.
Jeremy, however, was more likely to believe that they were in the Super-Ego of his mind, what with the world that he grew up in being the one that taught him all he knew about morals and how to act. He figured that, perhaps, it was just a roadblock presented by the Super-Ego to keep others from seeing parts of the mind that were less inhibited.
In essence, the two were at an impasse about what was happening.
Now, Nightmare Moon could very well just mention that she was far more experienced at this sort of thing than Jeremy was, but she couldn't forget just how different the human mind had been so far. Plus, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't having at least some fun in this little disagreement of theirs.
So, with no other way to prove who was right, the two came to a silent agreement. Whoever found the way further into Jeremy's mind would be declared the victor.
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