Friendship is Optimal

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An MLP:FiM Fanfiction by Midnight Shadow

Based on the Friendship is Optimal universe by Iceman

***

I looked at the unassembled Ponypad darkly. I shouldn't have bought it, realIy. It was money I didn't have to spend, but what're you going to do when its on offer and all your friends online have gone ape for them?

I shook my head, I really shouldn't have bought it. it only played the one game, but then... I'd heard that it was the only game you needed. I'd put it off for a long time, almost too long perhaps. It would surely be a passing fad, burning itself out soon enough, and I would have...

"Ah fuck it. It's not like I can return it. Might as well see what all the fuss is about."

My little pony - the show had taken the world by storm.  It had spawned comics, music, fanfiction, models and more. It had finally spawned a game. The pundits had guessed it would be awful, something pretty and pink and puerile, soon forgotten. then they'd heard it was being created by Horfvarpnir studios, and that meant AI that wasn't just groundbreaking, the rumour was turning-crushing.

And now I had my own ponypad to play it on. I rolled my eyes. How much further down the rabbit hole could I go? Then again, many said it was less a game and more a... almost a way of life. it had transcended the barrier from gadget to critical app for the new millenium. Everybody who was anybody online had one, those who didn't scrounged time on public access show models or abused their friends for some airtime.

And the pads knew. that was the creepy thing. I'd had a termporary 'ghost pony' for a while now - first time I'd sat down at my friend's terminal, it had loaded up the guest account screen without even asking. Then I'd been at another friend's place, and one of my online buddies had come trotting up to the screen, tapping a hoof and asking when I'd come to equestria on my own machine.

Ghost accounts - guests without a permanent presence - weren't so much looked down on by real players as pitied. Ghosts couldn't do much: they were resolutely earth pony in shape, though they could "fly" by trotting through the sky, could do no magic, own no in-game currency or objects and could only be seen by real world players and some special unicorn npc's. Kid npc's could see ghosts, though the "parents" would smile and nod at the invisible friend of the colt or filly in question, and interaction was relegated to minigames in special guest realms. it made sense - most ghost accounts were kids who didn't have their own ponypads yet, and the rest were there to see their friends before purchasing their own, and a ghost could go just about anywhere. It was a highly effective way ot showing off what you were missing when you could glide over Equestria in all its rendered glory yet do nothing yet sit on the sidelines as the quite frankly amazingly rich npc world expanded around you.

That had been the tipping point, for me. I'd knuckled down and bought my own ponypad. The mark 3s were on offer as the mark 4's - sporting haptic feedback and finally with wifi - were out.

The base on my mark 3 - they'd finally branched out from the mane 6, my ponypad featured Caramel's colour scheme, with his cutiemark on the back - was heavy and wide. I'd thought it might tip over when i started examining it at first, but it had proved remarkably steady as I was setting up. the whole thing was almost entirely idiot proof, and that was saying something. I'd met a lot of idiots in my time, and they'd never ceased to amaze me. the ponypad, however, was as simple as it comes. the base held the power connector, and the screen held the rest: usb for the controller, rj45, two speakers on the back, a mic and the bullt-in camera. Fourteen inches was pretty small really, but it was designed to be played from close up, i guessed. Apparently the mark 3's were touch-sensitive and you no longer needed the controllers, but they still came with a mouse. It was pink. ugh. so much for entirely colour schemed.

Fussing over it, I relished the feeling of peeling off the plastic from the base, checked the pad itself for unwanted skin conditions, and then went about attempting to attach it to the base. That was my next shock - no screws, no faffing about with clips that break, no doing it wrong and then a lifetime of wobbly unusability... it just snapped into place when vaguely waved in the direction of the socket, and to all intents and purposes could have been welded in place. Pulling it, it came free, and then snapped back. Free, fast, free, fast... it was almost as amazing as the game itself. A computer which didn't require a blood sacrifice to set up? Impossible!

Shaking my head, I felt around the edge for the power button. to my surprise, there wasn't one, nor volume controls. It didn't need one, either. As I looked back at the screen, the darkened window into another world had lit up with a richness of colour that was quite frankly beyond compare. That's not to say it was overly colourful, because it wasn't, it just looked so good.

The familiar theme tune had started playing now, only instead of the mane six, i was treated to a montage of all three types of pony - earth, pegasus and unicorn - going about their daily business in Equestria. I almost instinctively ducked when a huge, fire-breathing dragon swooped overhead. I gaped, open mouthed, as it swept past, I'd expected slowdown, or... something... but the sun glinted off scales, the thunderous roar almost shook my desk and the dragon was amazingly realistic from tip to tail.

"I just wish they'd let us play dragons or griffons, or even diamond dogs," I muttered.

"Ohhh, no, sorry about that, no can do mister!" answered a chirpy voice.

"What the... and who're you supposed to be?" I asked. I hadn't really expected an answer, but the next thing a I knew, an all-white unicorn was trotting on screen.

"Hi!" it said, "I'm Iizzy the intro-corn! I'm here to make your first few hoof-steps into Equestria just the best they can be!"

"Oh,  that's new," I said. I'd never seen nor heard of this little guy before.

"Yeah, first day on the job! You're my first customer! isn't it great?"

"Heh, sure is," I replied.

"yay! I'm so pleased.!"

"Wait," I said, "you can hear me?"

"Certainly hope that's you talking, or I'm talking to myself. Again." Izzy rolled his eyes, then covered his muzzle with a hoof, laughing.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I exclaimed, jaw falling open

"Yeah, yeah, I don't talk to the voices in my head." izzy grinned, then leaned in and tapped the screen. "you're supposed to laugh... sheesh. tough crowd. come on then, I guess you want to get straight into it." Izzy seemed to sigh.

"Oh, no, no, it's okay! hah, you're funny." I poked a finger at the little guy, trying to soothe his ruffled feathers.

"Hey, cut that out! It tickles!"

I drew my finger back as if stung, then I gingerely poked him again.

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