After looking at (and promptly eliminating) two more candidate houses, the four of you decide to break for lunch. You head over to a small restaurant that you and Celestia liked to frequent back when she was living with you as your roommate, and the waiter there shows you to your favorite booth.

One of the positive side effects of the whole ordeal with her giving up her crown and living together with you for so long is that the vast majority of the ponies of Ponyville are completely used to her presence by now. Even though she’s wearing her crown once again, along with the rest of her usual regalia, they treat her no differently than before. She doesn’t get surrounded by admirers, bombarded with gifts or requests, or anything like that.

Oh, they still bow to her out of respect when she addresses them directly, and they still stare and take notice when she enters a room, but otherwise she’s treated as just another citizen of Ponyville, and you can tell it makes her happy and helps put her mind at ease. As a result, you can eat together in public places like this without worry, which is nice. When you think about it, it’s not surprising that she’s looking forward to spending more of her time here.

You lean back into the booth’s comfortable cushioning. A good meal in a quiet place with no distractions is just what you need to prepare for an afternoon of more house hunting...

“Your Highness, I believe that pegasus across the room is waving at us,” Pyre says, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

“Ah, so she is,” Celestia replies as she sips on her water. You turn your attention to where she’s looking and your heart sinks.

An overly enthusiastic cyan pegasus is leaning out of her seat and waving her hoof off at you, the look on her face practically screaming ‘Help Me!’ even if her actual voice doesn’t. On the other end of her booth you can spot a perfectly primped purple mane and white horn rising above the back of the seat, with a flowing pink mane placed beside it.

Ah, the Goon Squad Trio. These three mares, aside from Twilight herself, were a gigantic pain in the ass to deal with during the whole ‘Twilight trying to kidnap you to force you to marry her’ thing. While they’ve since apologized for their behavior and you have technically forgiven them, you’re not too keen on having them interrupt the nice, quiet lunch with your marefriend you were hoping to enjoy...

“Just ignore ‘em, Pyre,” you grumble.

“I recognize that pegasus,” Raven states as she adjusts her glasses. “That’s Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. And the two others with her must be Rarity of Generosity and Fluttershy of Kindness. It seems Lady Dash is in need of some sort of assistance from us... is it really wise to ignore her?”

“Yes, it’s wise. It’s totally wise,” you tell the curious unicorn. “Don’t make eye contact and maybe—”

“Hey Anon! Hey Princess!”

You hang your head and sigh. “—Maybe she’ll think we didn’t see her.”

“It seems it was too much to hope for, my human,” Celestia whispers as she places a comforting wing around your shoulder.

“Anonymous and Celestia are here?! Together?!” you hear Rarity exclaim from the other side of the room.

“Yeah... but it was worth a shot anyway.” You slump in your seat and resign yourself to your fate as the three mares approach your booth.

Rarity begins yapping immediately after they each give Celestia a slight bow.

“Oh, I can’t believe it... could it be... a date between Equestria’s most talked about and elusive couple?! And in Ponyville no less! How quaint! How romantic! And who are these other two ponies; I don’t believe we’ve met! Is this a... a double-date? Is it your first true date together? There haven’t been any sightings of the two of you reported in the Foal Free Press... oh, wait until Aloe and Lotus hear about this~!”

The unicorn rears up and squees, poor Pyre and Raven turn redder than a freshly picked apple from the Acres at the attention, and you sigh and roll your eyes while Celestia tries to get a single word in amidst Rarity’s celebrity romance spergfest. This doesn’t sound like it’s gonna stop anytime soon…

A cyan hoof nudges you in the side and you turn to see Rainbow Dash hovering nearby. She leans down a bit to whisper in your ear, “Hey dude, thanks for the save. Rarity and Fluttershy dragged me into lunch here when we ran into each other on the street and they were boring my flanks off talking about dresses and stuff. If you guys hadn’t shown up I don’t know what I would’ve done, so I guess I owe you one.”

“Yeah... I think you kinda do,” you whisper back, attempting to rub away your building migraine.

“I hate to disappoint you, my little ponies,” Celestia finally manages to interject, “but I wouldn’t call this an official date. We’re merely having lunch together with my aide here and one of the guards while running some errands in town.”

“Oh, I see.” Rarity deflates a little, which causes Celestia to chuckle.

“Though,” the alicorn continues, turning toward you, “I’d very much like it if he were to take me out on a nice date sometime. Unfortunately, since Anon isn’t really the type to make spontaneous romantic gestures, I’ve found that I sometimes need to prod him a bit to get what I want.” She ends her statement by placing a quick kiss on your cheek.

Rarity sighs and smiles. “Stallions are all the same in certain respects, aren’t they? Forgive me, Princess, I lost myself for a bit there. I’m afraid one of my weaknesses is an inability to ignore juicy gossip, and tidbits of romance are so rare among the Royals that I simply couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s quite alright,” Celestia replies, smiling in return. “One of the things I find most appealing about Ponyville is the fact that the paparazzi here mostly consists of elementary-aged foals, so when school is in session there’s little to worry about.”

Rarity stifles a laugh. “That is true, Princess, though I’d be careful not to underestimate them. But please, if we’re bothering you I humbly apologize, but do you happen to have another moment to tell us how Twilight is doing?”

“Yeah!” Rainbow adds, landing near her friends. “You’re with her every day, right? How is she?”

“You needn’t worry,” Celestia states in her usual gentle tone. “She’s doing well, and she’ll be returning to Ponyville before you know it. The letters you all send each evening truly mean the world to her.”

The three ponies seem to visibly brighten at the news.

“That’s reassuring to hear,” Rarity says as she turns to the others. “But we’ve taken up enough of your time, so I believe we should be going now, isn’t that right darlings?”

Rainbow flares her wings and stretches. “Yeah, I’ve gotta get back to weather patrol. Those clouds aren’t gonna kick themselves. I’ll catch you guys later! Good to see you again, Anon, Princess, say hi to Twilight for me!”

She zooms off, leaving a rainbow trail behind.

“Yes, and I’m afraid I’m already behind on several orders so I need to be going as well. Once again, Princess, I apologize if—”

Celestia holds up a hoof. “It’s alright, Rarity. Really.”

With a relieved smile, she turns and trots away.

Only Fluttershy, who oddly hasn’t said a word so far, remains. She scuffs a hoof on the ground, bashfully looking around, before meeping a bit when she realizes she’s been left alone. Slowly, she lifts her head to speak.

“Um... Princess Celestia, may I ask you something?”

The alicorn nods. “Of course, Fluttershy.”

“Um... well... I was wondering if... uh... if you could... _____________”

The last part was way too quiet to hear.

“...Come again?”

“I was wondering if you could... um... dosomethingaboutyoursister?”

Celestia ponders a bit. “My sister...? Is something the matter with Luna?”

Fluttershy cowers again. “Well... she... lately, she’s been coming into my dreams a lot to talk about... things... and it’s starting to get a little uncomfortable for me.”

That seems to pique the alicorn’s curiosity, and she leans closer.

“And what would those things that you’re discussing be? You don’t need to tell us the details if it bothers you, but I’m sure anything you can tell me about the situation will help when I speak to her.”

The pegasus blushes. “Oh, you know, this and that. Um... last night she read me a rough draft of a... um... f-fanfiction she wrote for the novel ‘The Lusty Human Butler’.”

Raven taps a hoof on the table in thought. “I’m unfamiliar with that work, Lady Fluttershy. It’s a book about humans, you say?”

“Something like that,” Celestia replies with a nod. “It’s a story written by the very popular romance novel author Mistress Notfluutershai, and it was critically acclaimed in certain circles for its very elaborately detailed descriptions of—”

Out of the corner of her eye, the alicorn catches your gaze, and the glare of death which radiates from it. She swallows hard before continuing.

“You know, I feel I should probably stop talking about this, and there’s no need for you to look into it any further, Raven. Let’s just say that certain ponies really liked it. It’s interesting that Luna was among them, and writing ‘fanfiction’ about it no less. But what I don’t understand is why she’s showing her work to you, Fluttershy. I take it you’re also a fan of the author?”

Fluttershy starts trembling again. “S-Something like that. But Luna’s, um, a really big fan. REALLY big... of the author, I mean. And it’s kind of getting weird for me, especially since she keeps talking about all these story ideas she has and—”

“Say no more. I think I understand what’s going on here. Rest assured, I’ll speak with her on your behalf when I return to Canterlot.”

The shy pegasus perks up. “Oh, thank you, Princess. It means a lot to me. Um, I need to be going now, if that’s okay. Enjoy your lunch...”

And with that, she timidly slinks away, leaving the four of you in peace. As soon as she’s gone, the regal alicorn at your side starts to giggle, a somewhat crooked smile on her face.

“Oh, this is good! I need to find a copy of that draft Luna wrote! I bet it’s absolutely hilar—”

“Cel.”

Her laughter dies in her throat at the sound of your voice.

“Can you explain to me just why you happen to be so familiar with the contents of all these pony and human stories? Every time they get brought up it sounds like you’ve read every damn one.”

You see a few beads of sweat form on her brow, and it takes her a minute before she answers, “I... fear answering that question might incriminate me, so I’m choosing to remain silent.”

You place your elbows on the table and start drumming your fingers together, your gaze never leaving her.

“You’re only making this harder on yourself. You know I have ways of making you talk.”

Her eyes shift to your fingers as they tap together in a steady rhythm and her wings twitch slightly. “You... you wouldn’t dare.”

“I wouldn’t?”

She blushes and turns away. “...all I’ll say right now is that I really missed you over the past month and leave it at that.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What? That doesn’t explain anythi— oh.”

Oh.

Her poor cheeks are on fire now, just as the waiter arrives with your food, and what follows is a lunch eaten in awkward, soul-crushing silence.

Like, really awkward.

Like, you silently pray for the sweet embrace of death but it never comes awkward.

Thankfully, both Raven and Pyre seem to have completely missed the subtext of your conversation (or are just overly polite), and as the time passes your mutual embarrassment transitions to amusement as you’re eventually able to laugh at yourselves after the fact.

As you leave the restaurant, you allow the other ponies to go ahead of you while you stay back and whisper an apology in your alicorn’s ear.

“Sorry... that was my fault for pressing you.”

“You’re forgiven, but I expect you to make it up to me,” she quietly replies as she places her head upon your shoulder and the two of you walk into the sunlight together.

“Don’t worry, it’s a promise.”

You reach back for a conciliatory ear scratch, much to her delight.