Finale- a Nosy newspony

Well, there you have it. Crazy batpony underlings, ponies with odd and disturbing dreams, cleaning out nightmares and giving ponies a blissful slumber... this is my life, my destiny seeing to the needs of all of Ponyland. I am the succsessor in a long line of dream beauties, and I inherited all of thier problems, along with having to deal with all of the questions that they had to stuggle with throughout Ponyland's history. We are still trying to sort out the mess with the batponies... though we did finally did get Heart Throb to accept that her 'fanged lover' was just a dream. But that still doesn't change the fact we'll be dealing with stories of 'vampire ponies' for a long time to come.

But before I end this little story of the small petty annoyances in my life, I have  to comaplain about one final problem that has been tormenting me as of late. There has been this certain, obnoxious reporter pony- named Diary Journal, I believe- who has been making a particular nusiance of herself in my personal life. Now, I normally don't give much thought to the ponyparattzi- what intrest do they have in a lowly dream beauty who just happens to have a harmony bearer pedigree, after all? But this particular blue earth pony has gone above and beyond the call of duty in sitcking her snout into my personal business!  The nerve of this mare, following me around with that stupid instamatic camera of hers!

I mean, I've read a lot of Diary's work... there's a whole stack of copies of the Bight Valley tattler in the bathroom (I love thier make up and beauty tips, and they have some awesome recipies in there!) But I really, really don't like it when I get a camera shoved in my face when I'm playing hoofball with firefly, or when someone's listening on my converstaions with Glory at the Satin Slipper. That  obnoxious little tattler is really getting on my nerves!  I'm tired of her popping up at the most inoppoutune times, and asking me the most private and emarrasing questions! What did she do, stalk me around everwhere?!?

But the worst was this past Valentine's day, where Tornado  brought me home a box of choclates and some roses, and we sent Ember away to spend the night at a friends place.  That sweetheart lit a hundred candles, and played a record of the sweetest and most romantic melody by the Dance n' Twirls, my favorite pony band. He even slaved over the oven for two hours to cook me the most deliscoius platter of spagetti and meatballs to share, after  which we cuddled up on the couch together, and began to express our love together in what should have been the most romantic and magical night of my life....

...only to have it ruined the next day, with explict photographs of Tornado and I splattered all over the insides of her cheap gossip rag!  We didn't know she was hiding behind that curtain happily snapping picutres at what was supposed to be a private moment for a couple! Now  I can't even show my face in Bright Valley without someonepointing and snickering, and I try to blush and run away out of sheer embarassment! Miss Diary, I know you like freedom of the press and all, but I do not appreciate all of Ponyland seeing Tornado and I breeding, you flanking little sk- (Next two sentences censored by Tornado... great horsemaster I had no idea angry mares could curse like that! O_o )

So I'm closing this series of entries out with a warning; do NOT make the mare who makes your dreams angry, it could really get in the way of you getting a good night's sleep! I put up with a lot of garbage from a lot of ponies, from whining about not getting the dreams they wanted, to those Equestriaphiles who yell at me for not being Twilight Sparkle. I've had just about enough of the cruel and insulting bile you've all been spewing at me for years, so don't blame me when you get nightmares keeping you awake because I'm angry at you!

Hey, I know, why don't all you ungreaful little snots come and try to do this thankless job on your own, and I'll go rest and get a good night's sleep in your place! Then you can deal with the slavishly loyal bat ponies, uncomfortable uniforms that don't conform to a pony's anatomy, and the dark and disgusting nightime fantasies of every preverted stallion in the world, and let's see how YOU like it! I honestly don't know how Princess Luna kept her sanity through all this maddness, I'd go insane if I had to do this century in, century out... dealing with all of these ungrateful, idioitc, spoiled-

*sigh* I'm sorry, I really don't mean that. But these things can really wear on a pony's nerves from time to time, and it's really hard keeping a lid on these things sometimes. I just wish I could get the sweet dreams that I give the rest of you... that is a pleasure I really haven't enjoyed in a long, long time. I really hope you all enjoy the hard work I do in crafting these masterpieces you experince in you hours of repose, and if you happen to see a little pink uncorn trotting around in your dreams, you might want to stop and thank her for all of the work she's done.

Because let me tell you... She'd really appricate it!