The Crystal Heart shimmered in its own divine light, reflecting off the walls of the mammoth cavern buried deep beneath the Crystal Palace. It made for a spectacular show; the heart suspended in its own magic, sending little speckles of light glittering through the air. Of course, even the greatest light shows could get old after a while, which was why the crystal ponies standing guard at the cavern’s entrance had been bored almost to tears.

Guard Ajax slapped himself and straightened up as sleep threatened to overwhelm him again. It had been another sleepless night, what with the new foal in his house crying out every couple hours, and his partner was no help in staying awake. The little tyke really seemed to have a knack for sensing right when mommy and daddy were drifting off to start bawling for something. Worst yet, his partner was no help whatsoever.

“Dude, keep it together!” The other pony hissed.

“I’m trying, dangit!” Usually, Ajax might be able to tolerate his fellow guardspony’s scolding, but not today. Not after a night of trudging back and forth from that cursed crib setup along one wall of the master bedroom. Ten feet might not seem like such an unbelievably, retardedly long distance, but that was before he’d needed to walk it at three in the morning with a newborn’s cries in his ears.

“I’m just looking out for our jobs!” The other pony whispered angrily. “You do know there’s a hundred ponies out there just waiting for one of us palace guards to screw up so they can get off night patrol, right!?”

Ajax opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again when he realized how right his partner was. Being displaced for a thousand years hadn’t been all that kind to the Empire’s economy, even with the massive boom of tourists hoping to get a glimpse of the “long-lost City of Crystal.” Most jobs thriving in the city today were whatever had already been in place before its disappearance, and even some of those wound up being totally obsolete in this new Equestria, like the local witch-doctor and the blood-letter (and no, the threat of a voodoo curse on Princess Cadence’s royal hiney had done nothing to sway her opinion on witch-doctoring as a whole). All this meant that the only thing left for most ponies Ajax’s age was guard duty, and in these times of peace that meant either patrolling day in and day out in the bitter cold, or guarding one of the dozens of empty rooms contained within the Crystal Palace. Why Sombra had built so many rooms into the Palace when it was obvious nopony could possibly find use for them all was anypony’s guess, though it might have served as the perfect excuse to build more stairs.

“Cripes, I just wish there was something to do in here besides look at a big, shiny rock,” Ajax muttered.

“That ‘shiny rock’ is the only reason the Empire is finally free of that tyrant’s influence right now,” his partner scolded, and right on cue. Ajax grimaced, his teeth grinding, as the other pony prattled on. “What, don’t tell me you’re waxing nostalgic for the days of Sombra, are you?”

“No, no,” Ajax replied, trying to keep from just spitting the words out, as if hoping they might take form and smack his partner in the face. “But say whatcha will about the big, evil palooka; he knew how to keep the guards occupied.”

“Yeah,” the other pony sneered. “Torturing prisoners, stomping on little filly’s toys to feed on their misery, slaving away in the mines, I see what you mean. Never a dull moment, truly.”

“Okay, y’know what!?” Ajax barked. “I didn’t get any sleep at all last night, so couldja just can it!?”

“You wanta make me!?” The other pony dared.

“In fact,” Ajax threw down his spear and galloped up to the other pony, stopping just as their muzzles touched so he could glare into his eyes. “I think that’s just what I wanna do!”

The other pony glared, then closed his eyes and puckered his lips out, closing the gap between their muzzles with a kiss. Ajax took a couple steps back in surprise, gasped, and broke out in snickers. “Stop doing that when I’m trying to be serious!” He laughed.

“Oh, but you’re so cute when you’re surprised!” The other pony laughed, leaning against his spear. “Oy, that foal is gonna be the death of us.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to adopt!” Ajax said defensively. “’But Ajie! There are so many foals down at the orphanage and there’s this one with a little spot just over her eye that would be perfect for us!’ Those were your exact words!”

“Ah yes,” the other pony grinned, a hoof tracing around his lover’s chin. “And then I turned on the sad, widdle puppy dog eyes and you caved like the whipped little colt you are.”

“Hey, I’m a lot of things, sweets, but I’m not whipped!” Ajax said defiantly, pulling away.

“Bitch, please. I could get you to kamikaze Captain Armor himself with the sad widdle puppy dog eyes.”

“That’ll be the…”

A loud crash from the hallway interrupted the pair. Ajax quickly wheeled around to face the entryway. “Love, you better get your spear,” his lover whispered, grip tightening around his own. Nodding, Ajax scrambled for his weapon, knocking his helmet askew in the process. Whirling around to face the entryway, helmet barely hanging over one ear, Ajax gripped his spear so hard his hooves turned white around it. “And relax, please, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry sweets,” Ajax mumbled in reply, spear still raised. “What do you think that was?”

“We should check it out.”

“That we should.”

Still, it was another few minutes before Ajax worked up the courage to take the lead, spear held in one hoof and pointed forwards just like he’d been taught in what little training he had received. Slowly working his way forward, he called out: “Huh-who goes there?”

“So very intimidating,” his partner’s voice said behind him. “My hero.”

Ajax fought back the urge to grin as he repeated himself, louder and more confident this time. “Who goes there? We are guards of the Crystal Empire: come out now and make it easy on yourself!”

A few sniffles replied. The pair watched as a little filly stumbled in, tears in her big, green eyes and patches of dirt staining her lavender coat. “Ah, jeez,” Ajax mumbled, setting his spear down and galloping up to the filly and approaching her slowly and cautiously, like someone approaching a scared bunny.

“What’s a kid even doing down here?” His partner said, scratching his chin as he lowered his spear.

“I dunno,” Ajax whispered as he leaned closer to the filly. The foal’s eyes widened in fear and she sniffled pathetically, shying away from his hoof. “Aww, it’s okay sweetheart, we’re the good guys!”

“She kind of reminds you of Seraphim, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Ajax grinned at his adopted daughter’s name as the foal cautiously approached. “So how about it, beautiful: what’s somepony like you doing in a place like this?”

“Oh, you over-romantic sap! You got me with that exact same line!” The other pony laughed, slapping his knee with a hoof.

“I-I lost my daddy,” the filly sniffled, whimpering with a tiny, barely-audible voice. “H-he said he was j-just gonna be a minute, and then I saw something shiny and I went to see what it was but then I couldn’t find whereIwasandnowI’mlostand…and…” tears welled up in her eyes as she babbled.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay now, the Crystal Guard’s here,” Ajax wrapped the filly in a hug and led her towards the door. “Sweets, you wanna hold down the fort while I help this little one out?”

“Sure, but be back soon! You might miss out on all the excitement!”

“Har-de-har,” Ajax said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he escorted the filly into the hallway. Of course, he was so distracted by both concern for the child and his partner’s sarcastic comments that he never noticed the way one of the crystals in the hall’s roof didn’t shimmer like the rest of them, seeming to shift restlessly in the light. “Now, little miss, why don’t you tell me about your missing daddy?”

“Well,” the little filly stammered bashfully as they trotted along. “He’s a guard pony, just like you…”

“Mmh-hmm.”

“He’s pretty brave, just like you.”

“Well now,” Ajax blushed at the compliment, never even noticing the odd little patch of crystal behind his head suddenly shift and dangle downwards.

A malicious grin crossed the filly’s face, her eyes glowing green. “And he’s super gullible, just like you.”

“Wha-“ he managed to ask before a pair of black, hole-filled hooves smashed against the back of his skull, exposed thanks to the helmet still dangling off one ear. Ajax went down like a sack of potatoes: he never stood even a slim chance. Still grinning, the filly watched as the large changeling winked, then resumed his place, hidden in the ceiling. Once her partner was hidden once more, she cleared her throat and prepared herself.

“Mmh-hmm, me-me-me-me-me…okay…okay…” she hissed to herself in a strange, otherworldly voice, trying to focus. Satisfied that she was ready, she pointed a hoof at Ajax and let loose with an ungodly scream: “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The other guard tore around the corner in a panic, spear still in his hoof. “What’s happen-AJIE!” He rushed to his partner’s side, dropping his spear and cradling the fallen pony’s head in his hooves. “What happened!?”

“I-I dunno!” The filly gasped. “We were just talking about my dad, when suddenly this happened…” without another word, a craggy, black horn appeared in the middle of the filly’s forehead and nailed the remaining pony right on the noggin; not enough to wound him, but enough to knock his helmet askew, clearing the way for yet another sneak attack by the hidden changeling. The filly grinned wickedly as the second pony fell at her hooves.

“Nice one, Switch,” the false filly hissed.

“You too, Bait,” the large changeling nodded, his deep, gravelly voice echoing along the tomb-like walls of the cavern. He flicked a torn ear and peered around, one eye wheeling about while the blinded other remained fixed straight ahead. With a few cracks and pops, he rose to his full, impressive height. “I think you can come outta your disguise now.”

Without another word, the filly disappeared in a flash of green, and a smaller changeling stood in her place. He grinned, one of his fangs missing, at his partner. “Two guards? You’d think these ponies would guard their most valuable weapon a bit more carefully.”

“Just makes our job that much easier,” Switch replied, smirking as he threw the ponies against the wall and bent over them, securing their hooves and muzzles with a quick jet of goo from the tip of his horn.

“And hey, we’ve got something for the hive!” Bait said, jumping around enthusiastically like a filly on Hearth’s Warming morning. “A straight-up, romantic couple!”

“Yuh-yeah,” Switch stammered, shifting uncomfortably as he continued securing the ponies.

“Seriously though, are you feeling this!?” Bait ran up to the pair and took just the smallest sample of their love, draining it directly from Ajax. “This stuff is good! I mean, we might feed the entire hatchery on just…”

“Yeah, could we not?” Switch asked, disguising a light shudder that quivered through his insect-like wings, one of which sprawled lamely off to the side.

Bait cocked an eyebrow, or at least, he scrunched up the layer of chitin on his forehead where he would have eyebrows. “Why not? You want all this love to just go to waste?”

“I’m just not…comfortable with having all the hatchlings around these two, y’know?”

Bait’s jaw dropped. “Switch!”

“What?”

“That’s so insensitive!”

“Insen-Bait, you were just talking about serving these two up to the hive’s offspring!” Switch replied, tapping the unconscious head of one of the ponies for emphasis. “We’re a couple of emotion-feeding monsters, for Chrysalis's sake!”

“Yeah, but we don’t have to be homophobic jerks too! I mean, there’s villainy, and then there’s intolerance,” the smaller changeling harrumphed, turning away with his black hooves crossed over his narrow chest. “I swear, sometimes, I’m not sure I even know you anymore.”

“Oh, don’t start this again, not when we’re about to make an offering to the Queen.”

“Just when were you going to tell me you didn’t like gays!? That’s an important thing for us to talk about!”

“Why do we need to talk about it!? Why do you think we need to talk about every little thing!?”

“Because this is an important disparity in beliefs! What about Crash and Burn, hmm? What if I’d wanted to invite them over so we could all hang out together!?”

Switch repeated the forehead-chitin-scrunch thing, his one good eye visibly confused at the mention of the swarm’s token homosexual couple. “Since when do you know those two?”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT! The point is…”

“My loving subjects,” the beautiful, melodic tone of their Queen interrupted.

“Oh, your Highness!” The pair quickly pushed away from the bound guards and knelt at their Queen’s hooves, their heads bowed.

“My Queen,” Switch’s voice rumbled. “We have completed the task set before us and cleared all resistance from the chamber containing the Crystal Heart.”

“Excellent work, my servants,” Chrysalis intoned, smiling as she patted each Changeling on the head. The smile turned malicious as the buzzing of hundreds of insect-like wings filled the air in the cave. “You have the gratitude of the swarm.”

“There is more, my Queen: we present to you this pair of ponies that were guarding the Heart,” Bait glared at his partner. “And whose love is EVERY BIT as wonderful as any other couples’.”

Switch had never wanted the ability to kill someling with his mind more than he did right that very moment. As it was, he just had to satisfy himself with the thought of pummeling the smaller changeling later on, out of the Queen’s sight.

“Um…yes…” Chrysalis said, looking between the pair in confusion at the smaller changeling’s outburst. “That is…also excellent. They shall be taken to feed the Swarm immediately.”

“May I suggest the hatchery, my Queen? I’m sure they’ll serve as food for the young just as fine as any other pony.” Bait said, glaring at his partner and stamping his hoof with each word for emphasis.

Switch growled and glared back, focusing as much sheer effort as possible into picturing Bait’s head exploding. He’d never heard of someling killing another just by thinking about it hard enough, but damn if he didn’t want to try.

“Your…recommendations will be…taken into consideration…my servant,” Chrysalis said haltingly. There was obviously something going on here, but it was likely of a personal nature between the two. Best leave them to work it out on their own. “Well, with that accomplished, I should congratulate the two of you! Now go: join your brethren at the assigned place!”

“Yes, my Queen,” the pair replied before trotting off, Bait taking the form of a young unicorn stallion with a powder-blue coat and Switch choosing a beefier pony with a buzz-cut mane and chartreuse fur. As they trotted away, the Queen watched the larger pony bat the smaller upside the back of his head, and immediately the pair set to hissing at each other.

Chrysalis shook her head. “Two of the best infiltrators of the swarm, capable of a level of cooperation to take down any foe. Heaven help the changeling race.” She smiled as she turned away from the two, the sound of buzzing wings growing louder. It was, frankly, the most beautiful sound in the world to her, her swarm…

Well, there’s that, and also the inevitability of victory. Chrysalis turned back to the chamber, the Heart glowing in the center of the room. She grinned evilly as she trotted up to the heart, just spinning in mid-air before her. Love between two ponies can sustain a hive, love of family can fill a changeling’s belly, but the love of an entire Empire…

“I suppose I should thank you, Prince Shining Armor, for keeping the Crystal Heart charged in case of emergencies,” she cackled as a light-green stream materialized from the surface of the heart and latched onto her horn, her children crowding at the entranceway to watch as she began a quick drain of the power contained within. “After all, where else would I find this much love gathered in one place!?”

She threw her head back and let loose with one of her trademarked evil laughs, her swarm chittering excitedly at each other, readying themselves in caverns all around the city, the ponies above completely unaware that their greatest defense had just been turned against them.

Author's Notes:

So yeah, Switch is a homophobe...

Hey, don't give me that look! It was his dad, y'know? He's a great guy once you get to know him!