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A Princess and Her Queen

by kildeez

Chapter 16: Chapter XVI: Pinks and Bait

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A Princess and Her Queen

A Princess and Her Queen

by kildeez

First published

They came as conquerors...but they will leave as something new. Bonds will be formed in the occupied Crystal Empire, love will blossom, and secrets long-buried will be uncovered.

They came as conquerors…but they will leave as something else.

Princess Luna and the Mane Six are sent to the Crystal Empire after a break-in at the Canterlot archives, unaware of an impending attack. Soon, the Princess of Night finds herself taken captive, alongside Pinkie and Fluttershy while the rest of the Elements are forced underground.

However, something seems different about the invaders, especially their Queen. Soon, bonds begin to grow between captors and captives, especially once Luna discovers she has more in common with the Changeling Queen than she could have ever imagined.

But even as the ponies come to realize that changelings might not be the monsters they always thought they were, elements within the changelings’ own ranks move to return their race to the old, ‘pure’ ways of hunting and domination, and their plans could very well bring Chrysalis to her knees and spell doom for every single one of the Element Bearers.

Can newfound love really triumph over all, or will old hate prove too powerful for even the Elements of Harmony?


Cover courtesy of the wonderful WillisNinety-Six

And yes, there will be Chrysluna in later chapters (as if the cover wasn't enough of a hint), as well as changelingXFluttershy and changelingXPinkie :)

Chapter I: Prisoner Interrogation

For the first time in his life, Nightshift the bat-pony prayed for things to settle down.

In spite of the hundreds of hours he’d spent with his muzzle buried in Daring-Do novels, the countless nights spent on his knees praying to whoever might be listening for a bona-fide action-packed super-crunchy adventure of his own, and the hours spent diving sideways onto his bed in view of his bedroom mirror with a pair of imaginary crossbows in his grip, right now, he just wanted to crawl back to the bank of security monitors he called home and prop his hind hooves up on his desk again. Now that he thought about it, that desk was awfully cozy. Much cozier than the interrogation chamber he found himself in, at least. Back there, he had a plush chair that reclined when he wanted it to and was only just starting to squeak when it moved, a vending machine full of snacks behind him, the soft flicker of the monitor banks, a Daring-Do novel and a dollar for the vending machine hidden in the desk drawer; yep, definitely more comfortable than this craphole.

Here, the magical lights flickered and buzzed constantly, and the coffee tasted bitter without his secret stash of creamer, and his head still hurt from the black eye the creature on the other side of the glass had given him. Plus, he didn’t get the solitude he so loved in his normal job. Instead there were two other bat-ponies with him, three if you counted the guy who’d had to go to the bathroom. Still, he sat there, standing vigil in case the prisoner tried anything, even though it had been shackled to the metal desk in the room, which in turn was bolted to the floor and covered in enough magical enchantments to make Discord’s head spin. So really, this job was as boring and calm as his regular one, just less comfortable. Well, perhaps that wasn’t true. Here, the show was better.

Nightshift sat bolt-upright as Lieutenant Nocturn slammed his hooves onto the metal table, rattling both it and the chained creature. “Just give up now, changeling! We know what you’re up to!” He barked, his nostrils flaring beneath his helmet. Yep, he had gone in there in full armor, as if he expected a threat from a changeling that was not only secured to the desk, but was also at least a head smaller than the ponies holding him, with one chipped fang to boot.

Yet Nightshift couldn’t suppress the chill that shot down his spine when the creature tilted its head up and simply smiled knowingly, flashing both its good and its bad fang. “Oh, I highly doubt that, pony,” the creature hissed in that strange, multi-layered voice all changelings possessed in their natural form. “I came up with this plan, after all. I bet as far as you know, I’m just another infiltrator looking for love to steal.”

Nocturn slammed his hooves on the table again, causing another stir from the prisoner. “I am a Lieutenant in the Night Guard of Canterlot palace, you will speak to me with respect!”

“Y’know, if you keep slamming your hooves like that, you might break something,” the changeling pointed out with a nonchalant wave of its hoof. “I’m just saying, because this table looks pricey.”

Nightshift couldn’t help but allow a smile to break out on his muzzle. This guy was funny, for a love-sucking monster that had once attempted to conquer his nation. It was a shame they were natural enemies. Maybe not as fierce as the changelings were with the other pony races, but enemies nonetheless.

Nightshift winced as the Lieutenant reared back and slammed a hoof across the changeling’s jaw, eliciting a surprised yelp, but nothing more. The pony to Night’s left winced and averted his eyes, but the one on his right didn’t even flinch, his yellow eyes remaining locked on the one-way mirror. To his credit, Nightshift himself managed to suppress a shiver, and even kept his eyes open, though they narrowed down to little slits. He didn’t even look away when the door to the tiny room swung open.

“Hey guys,” the guard who’d gone to the bathroom said. “I miss anything?”

Nightshift started to open his mouth, but the pony on his right cleared his throat, narrowing his eyes and glaring so hard that if looks could kill, Nightshift felt he would have been sent right to his own funeral: black wreaths, mourners, and a pre-written eulogy all ready to go. Then he followed the other guard’s gaze to the reason for that look: a small microphone built into the wall, right above the one-way window.

“Nope,” he said simply, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. The newcomer looked at him, spared a glance at the prisoner, who by now had recovered and was sitting upright, then shrugged and pulled up a chair, seating himself behind the trio just as the Lieutenant started in with the half-crazed tirades again.

You think you can just do this!?” Nocturne barked. “You think you can just walk into Canterlot castle, attack a couple guards, and insult one of the finest guardsponies in all of Equestria!?”

“One of its finest soldiers?” The changeling gasped, cradling its aching jaw. “Aw jeez...I’m sorry, I had no idea I’d insulted one of Canterlot’s finest!”

Nocturne regarded the changeling suspiciously. “Really, now?”

“Yeah, really, I’d like to apologize for insulting the bravest, most competent soldier Canterlot has to offer!”

“Well,” Nocturne took a step back, chest thrusting out in pride. “I would like to say I…”

“So couldja do me a favor and tell him how sorry I am when he gets in?” The changeling asked, the apologetic look on his face immediately turning into a sarcastic grin. “Not sure I’ll have a chance to do it myself.”

“Oooohh,” Nightshift gasped, eyebrows rising. He had to hoof it to the little guy: that buggy had balls.

Nocturne’s response was almost instant. First, his dark-furred face flushed a deep fuchsia in pure anger, a vein popping out on the side of his neck, then he was upon the prisoner, smashing him over and over again in the face until the changeling fell limp, his head hanging on the end of his neck. For a second, Nightshift thought he’d been beaten unconscious, but then he coughed and straightened in his seat.

“Hey, I said I was sorry!” The changeling rasped.

“Damn,” Nightshift hissed under his breath.

“Celestia above, that is one tough little bug,” the pony to his left said.

Nocturne’s only reply was another punch to the prisoner’s gut, and though it elicited a choke and a gasp from the changeling, even Nightshift could see the unsure way it connected: the half-hearted, almost fearful way the once-confident Lieutenant had moved with. The changeling’s confidence was starting to erode away his cool, like an indomitable tide against a brittle piece of sandstone.

“Whatever it is you have planned, changeling,” the Lieutenant spat. “The Royal Guard will stop you.”

Nocturne turned to step out of the room, when a low, choked, hacking sound filled the room. At first, it sounded like the changeling might be dying, or trying to cough up his own lungs, and then the sound solidified and became low, cold laughter. The changeling tossed his head back with the laughter, his body rocking back in the chair. A shiver rocketed up Nightshift’s spine, and based on the way his comrades shifted in their seats, it was obvious they were feeling the same way.

“What’s so funny?” The Lieutenant barked, though he couldn’t quite keep a mild quiver from his voice.

“Dude, it’s such a stereotype!” The changeling gasped, panting heavily. “I mean, c’mon! Do you realize what you’ve just set me up for?”

The guard frowned, taking a few steps back from the prisoner, who just flashed him a confident, bloody smile, suddenly looking like a lion waiting in a tall patch of wild grass. “How’re you gonna stop us if we’re already here?” The changeling asked pleasantly.

“What?” Nightshift muttered, eyebrows hunching in his half-visible reflection in the mirror. “What the heck does that…”

He trailed off as a green flash erupted behind them, with a touch of a cold breeze, just like the kind that accompanied changeling magic. He looked up and saw a massive changeling reflected in the glass, at least a couple feet taller than him, with a deep scar running over one milky-white eye and the other gleaming an emerald green.

“Oh, shi-“ he had time to mutter before a couple hundred pounds of muscle descended upon the trio.

Author's Notes:

Rewritten! Yes, I know, it's been a while. Go ahead and yell.

Chapter II: A Little Bait and Switch

The changeling held a hoof in mid-air, still levelled expectantly at the empty glass of the one-way mirror. The pony with him followed his pointing hoof, then looked back at his prisoner in confusion. “What are you doing?” The pony asked.

“Already…here!” The prisoner repeated, his chains rattling and clinking as he pulled his hoof back and jabbed it out again. Once again, nothing happened.

The guard’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, how hard did I hit you? Because I didn’t mean…”

The glass suddenly exploded inwards, a swivel chair sailing through and crashing against the table. “What the-“ the guard managed, but the prisoner didn’t allow him to finish. With the pony’s back turned to the new distraction, the changeling slipped the small piece of metal he’d worked into the lock on one of his cuffs and twisted, the cuff snapping open instantly. With a flick of his wrist, the chain whipped out and wrapped around the guard’s neck, catching him right in the Adam’s Apple. Exerting a simple tug, the changeling whipped the guard back towards him while unleashing a single bolt of magic that knocked the guard’s helmet askew, exposing the back of his head to a single, incapacitating blow.

Gasping, the changeling wiped a dab of fluorescent green blood from his lip and glared at the broken mirror. A massive, but lanky, changeling stood just within the shattered frame, grinning in front of three beaten and bloodied bodies. The grin just added emphasis to the deep scar over his face, making his tall form seem even more intimidating. “Hey Bait, you called for a breakout?” He asked.

“Yeah Switch, yeah I did,” the smaller changeling hissed angrily, still wiping blood from his lip. “You wanted to take your dear sweet goddamned time with that!?”

“You seemed to have things under control,” the larger changeling shrugged.

“Oh right, yeah, I definitely had things under control while getting my ass kicked,” Bait grimaced before limping over to his counterpart, accepting a hoof up through the shattered frame and into the main room. Nodding, the pair took off out the door and dashed through the well-kept hallways of Canterlot castle, trotting over plush carpets and past marble statues without a second glance.

“So, you got the plans?” Switch asked, his scar pulsing with each gallop.

“Switch, please,” the smaller changeling grinned, exposing his one nubby fang. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Good, can I see?”

“Well,” a fluorescent-green blush spread over the smaller changeling’s face. “Sure, in a few days, when it passes through my system.”

“What’s…oh!” The larger changeling’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “Dude, nasty!”

“Well, maybe I would’ve had time to vomit them up if someling hadn’t stopped to powder their nose on the way to breaking me out!”

“At least tell me they’re protected somehow!”

“Of course they are! Whaddya take me for!? They’re inside one of my canisters: waterproof, easy going down, and hopefully, easy coming out…”

He cut himself off and screeched to a halt as they rounded a corner, forcing his partner to practically leap over his body to avoid slamming into him. “Dude!” Switch screamed. “What’re you stopped…for…”

He trailed off as he turned his head to where Bait was looking and caught full sight of a dozen spears, all levelled at them from the hooves of an equal number of guardsponies. “Shoot,” Switch grumbled.

One guard, a solid-white stallion in full-gold armor – the leader, obviously – stood up from behind the back, safe behind the line of spears. “This is your one and only chance!” He announced. “Surrender now, or we’ll run you through!”

“Uh…” Switch glanced out the corner of his eye at his partner. Bait just smiled knowingly, a faint, green light building in his eyes. Switch couldn’t help but return the grin as he turned back to the line of spears. “How about instead, you surrender to us? Trust me; it’ll save time for everyone.”

The guard smiled cockily, then leaned in to the line of ponies before him. “Turn ‘em into shish-kabob,” he muttered.

“Yes, sir!” Each stallion screamed, rushing the pair as a single line of stomping hooves and flashing weapons. Amidst a chorus of snorts and battle-fuelled yells, the changelings just stood there, apparently more interested in the tile and scanning their own hooves for imperfections than on the line of ponies descending upon them.

The guardstallions charged right over the changelings, and their commander grinned, believing he was perhaps just a few moments away from victory. He watched his guards’ lances approach the changelings, and his grin widened. Then he watched the lances begin to puncture chitin, and his grin turned into a triumphant sneer. Then he watched the lances pass right through the changelings, and his grin froze in shock.

The guardstallions nearly tripped over themselves while the changelings dematerialized, falling into a massive dog-pile. “Where’d they go!?” One yelled.

“Hey, hey! I see ‘em, over there!” Another cried out from beneath the pile of pony.

“No, no, they’re over there!” Yet another shouted, a spear poking up out of the pile and waving around futilely.

“Guys, what if they changed into one of us!?” A final pony shouted fearfully.

The guards all sat there in stunned silence for half a second, then they all pounced on one another, clubbing, punching, biting, and slamming each other with the flats of their spears. The group descended into absolute chaos with the enthusiasm of Shining Armor’s old high school Dungeons and Dragons club at a manga convention, interspersed with occasional cries of ”Ow! It’s me, you nincompoop!” And ”That’s just what a changeling would say!”

For his part, the captain just stood there, his jaw resting on the tile as his professionally-trained guardsponies ripped each other to shreds, falling into the kind of chaos usually reserved for soccer riots or shopping centers on Black Friday. When the dust settled, one beaten and bloodied stallion emerged from the pile of his unconscious comrades, his armor scuffed and his helmet askew, looked around, and laughed triumphantly. “I win!” He proclaimed. “I win! For Equestria!”

Then one of the decorative shields hanging on the wall promptly flipped off its perch and landed behind him, shifting in mid-air back to the large, scarred changeling in a quick flash. “You’d think so, but no,” he announced before his partner suddenly darted out of the pile with a lightning-fast spinning hoof kick that clocked the remaining guard across the jaw, sending a bloody tooth to land at his captain’s hooves.

The captain looked at the pile of unconscious ponies that used to be his unit, then back at the pair of changelings standing over them. He smiled. They smiled back. “Could you…” the smaller one said.

“What – oh! Yes, of course,” the captain said and, without any further muss or fuss, he bowed, removed his helmet, and brought it back down against the back of his head with as much force as he could muster, slumping to the ground.

Switch nodded to Bait. “Well, that went well.”

“About as well as it could have, I guess,” Bait shrugged, then the pair took off galloping again, shooting right by the unconscious captain as they pounded towards their destination.

Rounding a few more corners, the changelings came to a stop just within a dead end, pausing just short of a smooth, marble wall. “Okay dude, this is your cue,” the smaller changeling said, looking to his partner with expectation.

“Er…right…” Switch smiled unsteadily, then turned to the wall. “Okay…” he breathed in, then breathed out, then raised a hoof to his mouth. After a bit of fishing around, he pulled his hoof out again with a gagging noise.

“Oh, I don’t believe this,” Bait yelled, his hooves waving around in exasperation. “You didn’t practice like I told you, didja!?”

“Of course I didn’t! Who the hell practices vomiting!?” Switch shouted defensively.

“Besides anorexics?”

“That’s not practice, that’s a mental illness!”

“Look, just tilt your head back, I’ll get this,” Bait held out his hoof, which promptly transformed into a long, smooth cylinder with a nubby, easy-to-swallow end. “Like I always do,” he mumbled as he reached towards his partner.

“Now what the hell’s that supposed to – GACK!” Switch choked as the nub disappeared down his throat, and a split second later, a flood of bile chased after it, rocketing out his mouth and covering the floor.

“And you didn’t even avoid eating beforehand, like I asked,” Bait shook his head angrily, reaching into the spreading pile of puke to grab a couple plastic packets.

“Joe’s Donuts…can’t help myself…” Switch replied, wiping his mouth while Bait tore the packets open and dumped their contents on the floor. In a moment, he had a few gray lumps with strands of wire sticking out of them resting at his hooves. He set about sticking the globs to the marble wall, running more string between each of them until he had a ring a few meters across set up. He waved his partner off, who nodded, wiped his mouth again, and joined him as they ran back around the corner, Bait lighting off a tiny little spark of magic before they took cover behind the wall.

A powerful explosion rocked the castle, nipping right at Bait’s heels. He gave a frightened yip, nearly soaring into the air with the blast, only to be pulled to safety by a strong hoof wrapping around a hindleg, yanking him into cover as the shockwave echoed out into the hallway.

Bait looked over at his friend, who just smiled knowingly. “I think the fuse on that thing might have been a little short.”

“WHAT!?”

“I said I think it might have been a little short,” Switch said, somewhat more loudly. “Also, I think you might have blown out your eardrums.”

“WHAT’S THAT!?” Bait repeated, clopping his hooves against the wall by one of his tattered, black ears. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, MAN, I THINK I BLEW OUT MY EARDRUMS! THE FUSE MUST’VE BEEN TOO SHORT!”

“No shit,” Switch smiled and rolled his eyes as the sound of approaching hooves clopping on the tile began to echo in the hall. “C’mon, time for phase two.”

“I THINK WE SHOULD JUST MOVE ON TO PHASE TWO,” Bait enthused, pulling out of Switch’s grip and hurrying down the hall, where a gaping hole now stood where a wall once had. “YOU READY!?”

“Of course I’m ready,” Switch affirmed, tapping his insect-like wings. With a flash of green fire, they transformed into a pair of green, veiny parachutes, lying flat against his back like a couple of wrinkled sacs. “Are you?”

“I’M JUST ASKING BECAUSE I’M GETTING READY,” Bait added, his wings following suit as he reached into a fold in his chitin and pulled out a pair of goggles, which he immediately snapped over his face. Taking a few, deep breaths, he approached the edge of the hole he’d just made, looking down. Beneath his hooves, the edge of Canterlot palace dipped off into a vertical drop, plummeting hundreds of feet down sheer, purplish rock wall to some green splotch that might have been a farmer’s field. Bait’s knees locked upright as he peered ahead, staring into the clouds passing by the castle. “JUST…Y’KNOW, GIMME A MINUTE!”

The hoof-clops drew nearer, and now a few voices became audible as well, whispering ”Where are they!? and ”How did they break out!? and the classic which would have drawn a smile to Switch’s face if their situation hadn’t been so dire: “Celestia above, what happened here!? Looks like the aftermath of one of Princess Luna’s midnight raves!”

“We don’t have a minute!” Switch barked.

“WHAT!?”

“Okay, y’know what? This joke stopped being funny a long-ass time ago,” reaching deep into himself, Switch grabbed a tiny bit of love and broadcast it to his friend, shivering at the icy-cold finger that ran up his spine as the touch of energy jumped into his friend, instantly racing to his ears. A faint glow appeared around the little, tattered black points, slowly fading into nothingness as they worked their healing magic. “Now, is that better?”

“WHAT!?”

“I ASKED IF THAT WAS BETTER, DAMMIT! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?”

At that, Bait turned and smiled politely. “Of course I can hear you, Switchy. You’re standing right there after all, no need to shout.”

Switch deadpanned at his partner, one of the corners of his mouth turning down slightly, then he gave the smaller changeling a good, hard shove that sent him sprawling right over the edge and into the abyss, his forehooves pinwheeling frantically.

“That was a joke YOU DIIIIIIiiiiiick…” Bait’s voice cried as he plummeted.

Switch only had time to treasure his vengeance for half a second before somepony behind him called: “YOU! Stop right there!” Then he also hopped over the edge and dropped out of sight, the smooth rock face of Canterhorn mountain whizzing by his unarmored chest before his mind could even adjust to the fact that he was falling.

Suppressing his initial disorientation, Switch twisted around until he was facing downwards, spotting a little black speck somewhere further along down the mountain. Rolling his eyes, he angled downwards and dove right at it, aiming for a spot a little to its left. Sure enough, Bait was thrashing desperately with his self-made parachute, twisting it into knots and tugging and pulling only to wind up even more entangled, and all the while his screams filled the air.

Grimacing, Switch dove at his partner, thankful that the air rushing through his ears at least drowned out his partner’s girly cries of terror. He seized the smaller changeling by one flailing hoof, pulled him in tight, and in one deft move, untangled him and deployed the parachute. Bait instantly shot over his head, the chute deploying and slowing his descent. Satisfied that his partner wasn’t about to make himself into a black stain on the face of Canterhorn Mountain, Switch yanked his own chute into position as well.

By now, Bait had calmed enough to stop screaming at least, and was gasping breathlessly as Switch drifted over to him, sailing at his side. Still gasping, Bait looked up at his partner and swallowed to clear his throat. “I don’t – I don’t like heights.”

“I know,” Switch replied neutrally. “Dude, you’re the one who planned this out. If you’re so scared of heights, why did the escape route involve a parajump!?”

“No other way…to get off Canterhorn…fast enough…” Bait panted, his chest rising and falling spasmodically. “Besides…I read that…overloading and confrontation…is best way…to conquer fear.”

“Hmm, well, is it?”

Bait took one peek down at the drop remaining, saw nothing but a couple hundred feet between him and the patchwork of farmland below, and instantly clamped his hooves over his eyes while suppressing the urge to wet himself.

“I’ll let you know when we’re back on solid ground, okay?” He tried to say this sentence jokingly enough, but it came out as a shaky squeak instead, so he settled for just drifting along in that terrible void, trying not to think what would happen should his wings snap and his magic be disabled somehow and leave him tumbling helplessly to his certain doom on the rocks far below.

“I don’t get it,” Switch shook his head. “How many times have we flown around the hive’s inner chambers, hmm!? Or over the Everfree?”

“That’s different! There, I’m in control, and there’s always a building or a tree or something just waiting for us, something to grab onto! Up here…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Up here, the world was just so very big, impossibly huge. Ask Bait to soar through the Everfree, missing treetops by inches, and he would do it without a second thought. Ask him to infiltrate Cloudsdale and run a few laps through the high school obstacle course, and he’d return with a “Wonderbolts #1!” T-shirt and a patch of lipstick on his cheek from one of the cheerleaders. Put him up here, though, where there was no reference point for him to focus on except for the cities that looked like toys somewhere far beneath him, and where he knew he was just hanging by himself with nothing to grab onto should his chute fail…

He swallowed and pressed his hooves even more deeply into his eyes, trying to imagine he was back home, in his little corner of the hive, with a book perched on his soft, black stomach. “J-just tell me when we’re on the ground again, okay?”

“Okay,” Switch assured him. “Hey, Bait?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re here.”

Bait looked down tentatively, and sure enough, the ground dangled a few inches below his hooves, a few blades of grass just out of reach. He turned, spying Switch standing a few yards away with a malicious grin on his muzzle and a little, green glow on the tip of his horn, signaling a levitation spell.

“You ASS!” Bait flailed around spastically. “You sonofabitch! How long!?”

“Oh, a few minutes,” Switch shrugged while grinning wickedly.

“DICK!” Bait waved his hooves threateningly as if he were trying to claw his way through the few feet of air between him and the other changeling. Any other time, Bait would be able to send his partner flying with a quick burst of his powerful offensive magic, or would be able to use his superior changeling magic to overpower the levitation spell through sheer, brute force. But at the moment, between the fear which had been screaming through his mind and the anger that burnt there now, he couldn’t even think to do anything but hover there and flail.

“Hey, you made me puke; I’m just leveling things out!” Switch stuck an accusatory hoof in his partner’s chest. “Friends don’t make friends puke, alright!?”

“You watched as those guards beat the tar out of me!”

“And then I saved you from your own stupid bomb!”

Bait narrowed his eyes and crossed his forelegs over his narrow chest. It was time to bring out the big guns. “Let me down, or I’ll tell the whole swarm about Mr. Sprinkles.”

Switch’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

Instantly, the green hue around Bait’s body vanished and he dropped face-first to the ground with a low thud. Pulling his face out of the mud, he grinned. “I figured you’d see things my way.”

“Asshole. If I hear a word about Sprinkly around the hive…”

“Nobody’s gonna hear about Sprinkles, y’big baby,” Bait grinned and shook his head as the pair took off towards the lights of the closest village, slinking through the grass until they reached a dirt road leading through the town center. Adopting pony disguises, the pair easily slipped past the town border, creeping into streets emptied for the night and lit with only the occasional street lamp. At this late hour, not a single pony was awake in such a tiny town. Just as planned.

“Another job well-executed, partner!” Switch chimed happily. “Y’know: but for the fact that we’ve gotta wait for your digestion to spit out the goods.”

“Which actually won’t be long at all,” Bait whispered, holding up a little metal canister and averting all eye contact.

“Hey, you got it out! How’d you manage…oh, wait…” Switch looked to his friend, his nose wrinkling. A fluorescent-green blush crept over the smaller changeling’s cheeks. “You really don’t like heights, huh?”

“I really don’t like heights,” Bait replied, ambling over to the city fountain with the container dangling out in front of him.

“Dude, that is…just gross…”

“I know, I know, just let me check on the goods.” Bait unscrewed the canister and pulled out a small roll of paper. Tossing the canister’s halves aside, he spread the paper out in the dirt road, Switch keeping his eyes on the houses around him.

“So, we’re good?” He asked.

“Switch, my man, do you even have to ask?” Bait proclaimed proudly, holding up the large square of paper proudly.

Atop a series of indecipherable squiggles and lines, in the corner of the ancient, cracked paper, Switch could make out a small label in the corner: Crystal Empire proposed sewerage expansion plans. He grinned. “Right from the Canterlot Archives. Nice.”

“And they won’t even know what’s missing until it’s too late,” Bait said proudly, returning the grin as he rolled the paper up and stuffed it beneath one of his wings, tucking it safely amongst the fake feathers. “Because who would ever miss some ancient sewer plans?”

“Bait, my man, you know what this calls for?”

Bait arched an eyebrow. “You want to do it here? In the middle of a pony city?”

“You said so yourself: nopony’s awake at this hour in such a Podunk little town.”

Grinning devilishly, the smaller disguised changeling locked hooves with his friend. It started with a quick chortle in the back of their throats, building to a giggle and a snicker. Then the pair threw their heads back, preparing to unleash a torrent of evil laughter as they had practiced for hours before, their voices ready to roll off the building facades and bouncing throughout the town, when a high-pitched shriek pierced the night, echoing off somewhere in the distance and cutting them short. They blinked at one another, eyebrows hunching in concern.

“Did that sound like…” Switch started.

“Forget it,” Bait interrupted his partner, a hiss sneaking into the smaller changeling’s disguised voice. “Let the ponies deal with their own problems, we’ve gotta get back to the nest.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Switch looked around, the worried look spreading over his features. “Still, that sounded like a mare in pain, didn’t it?”

“Switch, what if it’s a pony trick, hmm? Did you even think of that?”

“How could that be a trick?” Switch arched an eyebrow at his partner, suddenly grateful to have an eyebrow to arch. “Ponies think we’re monsters, remember? Why would a mare’s cry for help lure us in?”

“Because…it suggests… dammit!” Bait bit his lip, and finally stomped a hoof on the ground in frustration. Switch didn’t outthink him often, but he hated it when he did. He stomped off, his magic grabbing the other changeling and dragging him alongside. “Alright, let’s go get ourselves killed on the off-chance that some random mare we’ve never met is in trouble.”

“I knew you’d see things my way,” Switch chimed, wrenching free of his partner’s magic and taking off with him, the pair weaving through darkened alleyways and dim streets with an ease that only creatures born in darkness could ever know.

Author's Notes:

Introducing a couple of our heroes: Bait and Switch, the changelings!

Chapter III: Bar Fight

It all started when Neon Glow decided to spend the night clubbing, hoping to finally snag "Mr. Right" at some tavern somewhere. Sure, the last few times she'd tried this hadn't worked out so well, but like they say, twelfth time's the charm, right?

The night had started out like all the others: free-flowing booze, floozies in too much makeup grinding their rears against the crotches of dudes in too much hair gel, and her nursing a martini alone at the bar, the closest she got to a conversation being when the barkeep asked if she wanted a cherry in hers tonight. She'd turned it down. A cherry would've seemed too fillyish.

And then he showed up. The stallion with the slicked back, but not greasy, hair and the easygoing eyes and the natural, sing-song cadence to his voice. He'd slid up next to her, plunked down two bits, and asked for a bottle of Summertime Sandy, as well as another round for "the pretty little thang next to me." She'd almost fallen out of her barstool twisting around to make sure there wasn't some other mare he could be talking about, and when she was 100% sure there wasn't, she'd nearly fainted from excitement. They'd struck up a conversation, during which she'd discovered his name was Derek, he was from Manehattan and here on a business trip of sorts, just checking out the local tavern scene when wouldntcha know it, he'd found the most beautiful mare in Equestria sitting all by her lonesome in a dive like this. She'd giggled at that, partially from what he was implying, mostly from all the martinis he kept buying her.

Then he popped the question: "Wanna head back to my place?"

That's when things finally started looking sketchy. She was drunk: anypony who'd had as many martinis as she’d had would be. So some strange stallion suddenly showing up to take her back to his place had to raise a few alarm bells. She was no swooning filly; she could smell a rat when it was sitting in front of her, even when it was wearing some handsome stallion's skin.

"N-no thank you," she replied. "Listen, I'm flattered, I really am, but I've drunken way too much to go with anypony tonight. I think I'll just head home."

Just as she slid out of her stool, his hoof clamped on her shoulder, and a feeling of dread washed over her. "Maybe I wasn't being clear," he said, his voice taking on a dark tone she would've sworn could never have been there just a few minutes before. "When I've put this much time, effort, and money into somepony, I think I've earned a little reward. Don't you?"

She turned on him, eyes blazing. "You seriously think you’ve earned the right to violate me just because you bought a few drinks and chatted me up for a while!? How self-entitled can you get!?"

His eyes locked on hers, a scowl deepening across his face. Obviously, that wasn't the response he’d wanted, but what the hell did he expect!? For her to just toss her hind legs open for him at the drop of a hat!? Apparently so.

"We're done here," she said icily, trying to wrench free of his grip. His hoof remained firmly locked on her shoulder.

"I'm afraid we're not," the stallion replied. "You see, my friends and I would be extremely disappointed if this evening didn’t end with some ass."

Her heart rate picked up a few beats at that. As he spoke, every stallion at the bar stood and formed a circle around her, a solid wall of stallions that enveloped and imprisoned her more tightly than any jail cell could. She was totally sober now. No being drunk when one was surrounded by an entire friggin' gang of nasty-looking ponies.

The barkeep flinched, looking like he was reaching for something under his countertop, but a quick stun spell from one of the unicorns in the group put an end to that, a blue bolt of pure energy nearly flipping the aging stallion head over hooves and leaving him semi-conscious on the floor, a few drops of his higher-quality booze trickling onto his head.

She screamed then, though later in her statement to the police, she would swear she didn't. She just remembered a high-pitched sound coming from somewhere, she didn’t know where, and then a hoof smashing against her cheek while one of the stallions shouted for her to shut up.

The whole bar fell silent, the ponies on the dance floor pausing and gaping. Someone, at least, had the presence of mind to pull the plug on the old-style jukebox in the corner. After that, the stallions standing around the bar all pulled out crossbows and swords and levelled them at the crowd of now-terrified ponies. A few more terrified squeaks and screams sounded, but nopony bolted, thank Celestia. It didn't take a prodigy like that Twilight girl over at the library to figure out what would've happened then.

"Ladies and gentlestallions, for all who have not figured it out, this is indeed a robbery," Mr. Young and Charming said, his eyes taking on a cold quality she must have been too drunk or too distracted to notice before. "If you will please remove any valuables or belongings and hoof them to the fine gentlestallions who will be sent around, we can expedite this entire process and be out of your manes much more quickly."

This is a nightmare, she thought as a couple stallions broke off from the rest of the group, working their way around the dance floor while their partners kept their weapons trained on the crowd. She shivered under the gaze of the lead stallion once he turned his attention back to her. It was funny how she could have spent the night staring into those same eyes not ten minutes ago. Now, it was all she could do to keep from looking away.

“Aw, c’mon babe, don’t be like that,” the stallion said, hopping off his barstool and sliding up next to her. She shivered and broke eye contact as his shoulder brushed against hers. “Most mares would feel lucky t’be in your horseshoes right now. Big, dangerous, charming criminal like me takin’ a shine to ya…”

He ran a hoof through her mane as tears started to well up in her eyes. She looked over at the crowd of terrified ponies, realizing they might as well have been on the other side of the planet for all the help they could lend her. Some of the stallions held the mares nearest to them close while the crooks made their rounds, and for a terrible moment, she thought of how badly she wanted to switch places with one of those mares. Let somepony else suffer through this, just not her.

“I dunno boss,” one of the thugs guffawed. “Y’really think this one’ll last much longer than the last one?”

The last one!? How many more mares had this stallion left behind him? How much company was she about to have in the line of broken mares he’d left across Equestria? Celestia above, she didn’t want to find out. A few errant tears trickled down her cheeks. She hated herself for them, showing so much weakness at a time like this. She wanted to spit in this bastard’s eye, but knew the least that would earn her would be a backhoof across the face, if not a crossbow bolt through a fetlock.

“I know, I know, she’s a bit older than what we’re used to,” Mr. Young, Handsome, and Bastardly replied as the other stallions echoed the same, deep snicker. He latched a hoof around her flank and squeezed roughly, earning a choked gasp that made his eyes light up with horrible delight. “Got a bit more flab too. But hey, more cushion for the pushin’, amirite?”

Around here, her memory got fuzzy. It was like a black shade being drawn over her own mind. That was okay, the police psychologist sent to interview her would say later on, when she sat in the local precinct headquarters with a mug of hot coffee in one hoof and a blanket draped over her shoulders. Memory repression was common in cases like this, he would say. In fact, it would probably be best if they left things as they were. If she didn't want to remember something, odds were they should just leave it be. The bad guys were all rounded up, after all, the only thing she could do now was help them catch whoever left those nasty stallions behind as a neat little present for the local cops. And what were they gonna do with them? Haul them back to the station so the mayor could pin a medal to their chests they obviously didn’t want? And she would agree, thus ensuring she would never remember what happened next.

She would never remember the clopping noise from the corner of the bar. She would never remember the small stallion with the hard look in his eye and the mischievous smile on his lips, sitting at the bar with a half-empty glass of Apple Family hard cider he’d poured himself, bringing his hooves together over and over again in a long, slow clap. She would never remember the easy way he'd scooped up the glass and taken a drink even as one of the crooks swept up next to him and levelled a crossbow on his head from point-blank range. And most of all, she would never remember the way he let out a satisfied sigh before speaking.

“Bravo,” he said. “Bravo, encore, just a true display of villainy, good sir. An absolutely perfect demonstration of pure dickheadishness. Two hooves up. 10 outta 10: would clop again.”

“What was that!?” The stallion screamed, his attention thankfully deflected from Neon’s still-shivering form.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to rape and/or kill a few fillies while you were at it, you sick, rancid pile of gryphon shit,” the newcomer replied, his hoof resting nonchalantly on the bar.

“You might wanna watch what you say there, little guy,” the stallion holding a crossbow on the newcomer growled. “We’re the most feared outlaws in all of Equestria!”

The newcomer stared down the bolt levelled on his head, making eye contact with the stallion at the trigger. “Little guy?” He murmured, though at the time, Neon could swear it sounded more like a hiss, like a cobra getting ready to strike. The newcomer glared daggers at the thug, taking a few more sips of his cider, apparently oblivious to the bolt maybe milliseconds from taking his life.

“Little guy?” He murmured again, setting the mug down, repeating the word to himself over and over again, his eyes on the ground. “Alright, okay…that’s funny…”

He stood up from his barstool, eyes still on the ground. The thug tightened his grip on the crossbow. “Y’wanna know what else is funny?”

Then he shrugged. Or, to Neon, it looked like he shrugged while taking a quick step to the side, right out of the crossbow’s line of fire. The thug jolted back, clutching at his throat, eyes widening while he let out a choked-off gasp. The crossbow practically flew out of his hooves, and in a single deft motion, the newcomer snatched it out of the air and bought it down against the thug’s temple, slamming him against the ground.

It all happened in the same amount of time most ponies took to blink. One moment, the thug was standing there with a crossbow trained on this stallion, the next, the stallion was the one with the crossbow and the thug was on the ground, clutching at his throat and making sounds like a broken valve on a scuba tank. In the stunned lull that followed, the newcomer shook his head at the thug. “And you might wanna remember that crossbows are ranged weapons, and should be used as such, not just waved around like some dumbass amateur actors in a play, big guy,” he said. “See? Now THAT’S funny!”

“Frickin’ kill him!” Mr. Young and Bastardly screeched, and each of the thugs charged, apparently forgetting the newcomer now held a loaded crossbow. He raised and fired one-hoofed, the bolt sailing right through one of the charging stallions’ fetlocks and sending him crashing against the bar, howling in pain. But that was just one stallion of many. In a flash, the incredible, apparently invincible stallion whirled around, shattering the spent crossbow against a stallion’s temple like a club. But still, he was woefully outnumbered. The remaining thugs mobbed the heroic stallion, overwhelming him through sheer force of numbers and pummeling him over and over again.

Mr. Young and Bastardly smiled confidently as he strode over to the pile of writhing ponies, the newcomer at the bottom at the receiving end of an endless number of blows. Finally, the thugs’ leader raised a hoof. “Okay, stop,” he said. “Spread him out.”

The thugs all grinned as they paused long enough to spread the newcomer out by his hooves, each holding one of his legs down. The now beaten and bloodied stallion spat a red glob out on the floor and glared up at them from a pair of blackened, bloodshot eyes, and then he smiled. “Well, I thought it was funny.” He said.

Mr. Bastardly and Young just grinned his cold, predatory grin before smashing his hoof down on the newcomer’s stallionhood, relishing the wretched, high-pitched shriek of pain the stranger let loose. “Do you have any clue who you’ve been fucking with!?” He hissed, smashing a hoof into his captive’s stomach. “Do you have any clue what I’ve done!? I’ve robbed a hundred joints like this! I’ve left behind a trail of terror a thousand miles long! To some ponies out in the boonies, I’m the Celestia-damned third coming of Nightmare Moon!”

He leaned in close, still grinning ear-to-ear. “So who the hell are you to take me on?”

The stallion spat again, out the corner of his mouth this time, to avoid catching the thug in the eye. He took a few deep, heaving breaths, and for a second, Neon thought he was just going to puke all over himself. Then he returned the grin and gave his reply: “The distraction. Or did you not notice the extra pony on your team?”

Mr. Young, Handsome, and Very Surprised had time enough to raise his eyes before one of the stallions around him clocked him across the jaw. This pony stood up, straightening to reveal every sinuous muscle in his massive body. He made his partner look like a little weakling, and most of the other stallions in the room like insects. Mr. Young and Handsome went sprawling as the others tried to contain this strange, new pony, a pair rushing up with daggers clenched in their hooves. It was like trying to contain lightning.

The newcomer twisted out of their paths, hooking his forehooves in the crooks of their legs and smashing their skulls together. As they slumped to the floor, the last thug standing rushed up behind the newcomer and wrapped his hooves around his neck, grabbing him in a chokehold that would have spelt certain doom for any other pony. Instead, this pony slammed his elbows back into his assailant’s stomach, throwing himself against the bar and grabbing one of the thug’s hind legs in between his own before rolling over. The maneuver ended with him lying on top of the thug, a hind leg firmly in his grip, his forelegs wrapped around it. Still tensed against the hold, the stranger wrenched back until a sickening crack filled the room.

“MY LEG!” The thug howled, releasing the chokehold in a panicked attempt to claw at his opponent. “YOU BROKE MY LEG!”

The pony’s only response was to twist around with an uppercut against his jaw, followed by a skull-bash that knocked the thug out instantly. Breathing heavily, he stood on his own, firm hooves. And that was it. In less than five minutes, these two ponies had reduced half a dozen heavily armed, extremely dangerous stallions into a pile of moaning injuries and barely-conscious groans.

Neon Glow stood on her own, shaking hooves, watching her rescuers in awe. Most of the other ponies had already fled, dashing out the back entrance the moment the thugs all turned their attention on the newcomers. She hadn’t even noticed, only watching the pair as the larger stallion helped his friend back to his hooves.

“Once again,” the smaller stallion said. “Didja want to take a little longer with the rescue there!?”

The larger only glared as he helped him up. “That’s just whatcha get for threatening Mr. Sprinkles.”

The smaller stallion’s jaw dropped. “YOU’RE STILL PISSED BECAUSE…”

Suddenly, Mr. Young and Handsome darted to his hooves, rolling up and screaming angrily. Before Neon could shout a warning, he reached into a pocket and whipped out a small glass vial, which he flung at the larger of the pair.

“SWITCH!” The smaller stallion cried, leaping into the path of the object. The vial shattered against his skull with a sickening crash, spraying a greenish liquid over his face.

“BAIT!” The larger stallion screamed, his partner dropping out of the air, yelling and rubbing at his eyes. He rushed to his friend’s side, patting his back as he continued furtively running his hooves over the potion-doused area. Neon herself was finally stirred into action, rushing for a glass of water from behind the bar.

“Use this!” She cried, offering it up to the larger stallion.

“Thanks!” He replied, grabbing the glass and pouring it over the affected area. “C’mon, Bait, tell me you’re fine!”

“I-I’m okay!” The smaller stallion exclaimed, a hoof pressed into the affected eye. “I-it stings like hell, but I think I’m fine!”

“Aw, whatta gyp!” Mr. Young and Handsome said, snorting with frustration. “That potion was guaranteed to kill anypony it touched in five seconds flat! Stupid zebra bitch ripped me off!”

The larger stallion turned on him, his muzzle contorting into one of the most terrifying looks Neon had ever seen on anypony’s face. For a second, she could swear she saw fangs growing out where his flat, pony teeth should have been, his eyes burning with green fire. Just for a second though, then he turned to her, a calm, cold look about him. “Watch him,” he ordered.

“I-I will,” she said timidly.

Nodding, he turned on Mr. Young and Handsome, who instantly looked more like Mr. Young and Timid. His ears folded back and he smiled nervously, backing away as the massive stallion advanced: a wall of muscle gliding over the tavern floor. “H-hey man, uh…no harm, no foul?”

Without a word, the stallion reached under the bar, pulled out a cheap bottle of Marelot, yanked the cork out with his teeth, and upended it over the thug’s head. “H-hey!” Mr. Young and Handsome burbled. “What the hell is this!?”

“Sorry,” the big stallion said as he tossed the bottle aside. “I figured you’d want something to make sure those cuts don’t get all infected.”

The thug arched an eyebrow, looking himself over for some injury he must have missed. “What cuts?”

Again without a word, the big stallion whirled on one hoof and delivered a devastating buck to the thug’s chest, sending him flying headfirst through one of the plate-glass windows built into the tavern’s façade, as was practically standard for any tavern where fights tended to break out. Glass shattered as Mr. Young and Not-So-Handsome-Anymore went sailing outside and landed with a deep thud, face scraping through the dirt.

“Those cuts,” the big stallion replied.

By now, Neon just looked on, eyes wide. It was like watching one of those stupid, action-packed plays stallions were always trying to drag their marefriends to, complete with the one-liners and over-the-top action! She didn’t even notice the amount of pressure she was putting on the smaller stallion’s face until he winced.

“Oh, sorry!” She gasped, easing up. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” the smaller stallion smiled at her, and looking at him, she realized just how much smaller he was. Even she had a few inches on him, and she was short by mare’s standards! Still, that didn’t detract from this inherent handsomeness he held, this attractiveness that seemed to come from within him. It was like some huge geyser of self-confidence like she had seen in so many other stallions, most of them irredeemable pricks. But not this one. No, definitely not this one.

A mare could absolutely fall in love with this one, she thought. His partner too, probably, but this one especially.

He kept that winning smile on his face and said, “Don’t worry about it; I’ve been worked over by guys way tougher than these losers.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“It’s not. I mean, it’s not nearly as glorious as I’m sure you think it is, but it’s a life.”

She smiled at him, turning back to the bar to refill the glass. She had to lean over the bar to reach the spigot, meaning she had to keep her back turned as she collected the water. “I want you to know,” she said as the glass slowly filled. “What you did back there was very brave.”

“Aww hell, I just did what anyone with the training and know-how would’ve done,” he replied.

“No, they wouldn’t: you know how some ponies are.”

“Well, good thing we aren’t just some ponies, eh?”

She giggled, feeling more heat rise to her face. It was a pleasant feeling, though, much better than the alcohol-induced tipsiness she’d felt with the stallion now lying in the dirt outside. “And thank Celestia for that!”

“I guess so!”

“I didn’t catch your name, by the way,” she finished, finally looking up from the sink. “See, I thought I heard your partner call you ‘Bait,’ but I figured that was just…”

She looked up at him, and instantly the smile dropped off her face. The glass fell from her hooves, shattering on the hardwood floor and spraying broken glass and water everywhere, sending shards into every corner where they hadn’t already been. Her knees went weak, and for a terrible moment, she thought she would faint. “Nuh-no,” she whimpered. “Not again. Not twice in one night.”

“What’s wrong?” The smaller stallion asked. His hoof had dropped from his face, revealing what had been unmasked by the potion. The half of his face that had been touched was black and smooth, glossy in the flickering candlelight. She might have mistaken it for a bad burn if it hadn’t been for the beady little eye contrasting with its larger twin, along with the distinctive, raggedy black ear that stood up off of the black half of his scalp.

“Are you alright?” He asked, taking a few steps towards her, reaching out with his hoof.

She shook her head, taking a few steps back and dodging the hoof as if it were poison. “Cha-cha-cha…” she stammered, unable to finish the word in her utter shock.

His eyes darting wide, the smaller “stallion” reached at his face, running his hoof over the skin. His features dropped. “Oh no…” he mumbled.

“Chayy…Change…”

“M-Miss, this isn’t what it looks like!” He gasped, reaching for her again. She swatted his hoof away, still trying to finish forming the word.

“What’s going…on…” the larger stallion had turned, and his eyes widened at the sight of the half-formed creature standing there. At first, she thought he might run and get help, having learned what his partner truly was. Then, her hopes sank when his expression calmed back into an empty neutral. “Oh darn, cat’s outta the bag, huh?”

“Yeah,” the smaller creature said with a sheepish shrug, holding his hoof over his face again.

With a nod, the larger stallion disappeared in a flash of green fire, and in his place stood a massive changeling with a scar over one eye. The smaller stallion followed suit, shifting right in front of her into a smaller changeling with a chipped fang and one eye that still twitched with the effects of the poison. That finally freed her tongue, as if the final illusion being dispelled broke whatever it was holding her voice back. “CHANGELIN…” she managed to get out before a slender, but powerful, black hoof clamped over her mouth.

She wanted more than anything to scream, even more fear welling up within her, overwhelming all other thoughts and instincts. At least the criminal gang they’d just dispatched might have only felt her up a little before releasing her. With these two, this evening could only end one of two ways: either they would drag her back to their Celestia-forsaken hive for the rest of their terrible species to feed on, or they would just suck her dry there and be done with it. Fell for it again, you idiot, they may not be stallions this time, but they still tricked you like a little filly,she thought, a couple more tears dribbling down her cheeks as the smaller changeling pressed her up against the bar, exerting his superior strength to keep her pinned.

“Okay, listen to me carefully,” he said in that hissing, multi-layered changeling voice. She’d never heard it before, but had heard it described by survivors of the Wedding Invasion in newspaper interviews. It was just as horrible as she’d imagined it. “This is what’s gonna happen…”

Oh Celestia… she thought, mentally running through a list of ponies she most wanted to see one last time. Ironically enough, the stallion lying in the mud outside was on that list, if only to see what he looked like all beaten and bruised with dirt rubbed into his wounds. She thought that might be something worth seeing.

“You’re gonna go to sleep, and when you wake up, you won’t remember anything from the moment you first saw me,” he hissed. “You’ll just wake up, and move on with your life, that’s all. Okay?”

It had to be a trick, it just had to be, but before she could even begin to struggle, he touched that ugly, crooked spire of a horn to her forehead and inky, black darkness began to creep in along the edges of her vision. Her vision wavered as he eased her to the ground, slowly laying her out on the hardwood floor. “Just move on,” he whispered. “Just move on.”

A part of her absolutely figured she would wake up in a chrysalis, secured to his back, or perhaps to the big one’s back. Wait, the big what? What was she thinking about? Secured to…secured…safe…she was safe.

Neon took one last look up in her failing vision, and was shocked to see one of those changeling creatures there, standing over her. The shock didn’t last long though, quickly fading into an eerie calm, though some voice in the back of her head screamed for her to run. “Just move on,” the creature whispered gently, and for some reason, she found she liked the way he talked. In fact, something about the way he moved and carried himself, the way he gently laid her out on the floor and backed away, was kinda cute, though she had no idea how she even knew the big bug was a “he” in the first place. There was something so masculine about him, so confident that…

…a mare could fall in love… she trailed off before sleep overtook her.

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Bait watched the tavern from the darkness of the rooftops, his eyes staring passively as a small army of cops and paramedics filed in through the front door, carrying out stretcher after stretcher of beaten and bloody ponies, all cuffed to their cots with the exception of the bartender, who was still barely conscious and covered in his own booze. He stared straight down, only blinking after watching the mare get led out, a blanket over her shoulders and a pair of cops at her sides, offering reassurances as they led her to one of the wagons.

“You alright?” His partner asked, watching him from the darkness even deeper on the rooftop.

Shrugging, Bait shifted again, disappearing in a flash of green fire to become a young colt with a shock of red mane and a single, smaller eye. He looked his reflection over in a puddle of air-conditioner coolant pooling in one corner of the roof. “Almost,” he replied. “Just another couple hours and I’m sure I’ll be able to transform completely again.”

“Good, good,” Switch nodded. “But you know that’s not what I meant.”

The smaller changeling shifted right back into his normal form, still staring at his reflection. What’s so bad about this? He wondered. What do they see that’s so awful? He sighed, fanned his wings, and said, “Let’s get going. The Queen’s expecting us back in the Badlands by daybreak.”

Sighing, the larger changeling nodded and the pair took off, just a couple of dark, rushing shapes, invisible in the black night. Bait continued moping along for a while, even as the small town gave way to the rushing leaves of the Everfree forest. After a few hours of watching pink trees pass by under his hooves, the layer of chitin where his eyebrows would be (if he had them) creased. “Huh,” he mumbled.

“What’s up?”

“I figured out why that potion had that effect on me: it did kill the pony it touched. That pony was just pretend, is all. By ruining the disguise, it forced me to dispel it from existence.”

“Huh, I’ll be damned. I guess we’re lucky it hit you, and not some unlucky pony bastard, eh?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bait sighed. They didn’t talk much after that.

Author's Notes:

Special thanks to Lackrome1 for editing, and TheNextGamer for feeding into my own immaturity.

And just so you all know, the move Switch pulls to finish off that last pony is an actual move taught to US Marines called the Rolling Knee Bar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCDvV9LkZzE

Chapter IV: The Setup

Princess Celestia looked over the shattered glass and felt her jaw clench. Through the broken window pane, she watched her guardstallions as they swept up some of the mess made in the interview room, picking up splintered remnants of the chair and table inside while a pair of unicorns scanned for traces of changeling magic. They did it again, she grumbled to herself. They attacked my city while I slept unaware! They did it again…

“Ma’am?” One of her Solar Guards trotted up and saluted, standing at attention. “We’ve finished interviewing the Lunar Guards from the attack.”

There was a moment’s pause as the Princess considered this information and switched from her own musings back to the world outside. “And?” She asked, concern playing along the edges of her voice.

“They’re beaten up pretty bad, but they’re talking, which is a good sign,” after a moment of thought, he quickly amended, “Well, one of ‘em needed his jaw wired shut, so he’s not so much talking as he is pointin’ and gruntin’, but we got the general idea from him and his comrades.”

“That’s good,” she said with a sigh of relief. At least the damage done to her sister’s newfound Lunar Guard wouldn’t be permanent. “Now, what did they say?”

“All the same story, ma’am: around midnight, they caught a changeling in the Royal Archives, searched him, and brought him here for interrogation…”

“The changeling was male?”

“You know how hard it is to tell even when they’re undisguised,” the guard snorted. “But yes, as far as we know the changeling was a stallion, or at least had changed its form to one. About halfway through the interview, one of the guards left to use the bathroom. Near as we can tell, that was when another changeling infiltrator attacked him and took his form.”

Celestia sighed. She knew the rest of the story, not even needing to listen to the guard as he went on and on about tactics, deception, and countermeasures. It was a story she knew all too well. Once again, she had been caught unaware by a changeling infiltration, and her little ponies had paid the price. Really, that was all she needed to know.

“…and that was how they took down all those guards,” he shrugged as he finished his tale. “Honestly, I’m not sure if things would’ve played out much differently if it had been a full strength platoon that confronted them, rather than a half-strength.”

“Two changelings defeated a half-strength platoon of highly-trained bat-stallions?” Celestia arched an eyebrow at this. “Impressive, as well as concerning.”

“Not truly, if you don’t mind me saying, ma’am,” the guard said. “We all know how skilled changelings are at deception and underhanded fighting techniques.”

“Still, to overwhelm such a vastly superior force that way…” she poked at a glass shard with one well-polished edge of her slipper, her eyebrows hunched in thought. “Have we any clue of their intentions?”

“None, your majesty. As I said, the Lunar Guards searched the original infiltrator they captured, but to no avail. He was totally clean.”

“Very well. Have the Royal Librarians scour the Archives anyway; they must have taken something,” she spotted her reflection in one of the shards and glowered at it. “The changelings are up to something again, and this time, we are going to remain ahead of them. We are not going to fail our ponies again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the guard said, saluting again. “But ma’am, what do you mean by ‘again’?”

“The attack on the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain Shining Armor, of course,” she replied, her gaze still not lifting from her reflection, now regarding it with an utter lack of emotion.

“Um…Princess, with all due respect, we won there,” the guard said, his eyebrows hunching in confusion. “The changelings were completely driven out of Equestria!”

“When my city falls under the occupation of a foreign army, my niece and beloved student are imprisoned by an imponynator, and my own flank is saved only by a stroke of good fortune, I consider it a failure,” she replied before realizing how icy her demeanor had gotten. She turned to the guard sheepishly, with a tiny smile on her face. “My apologies, guard, of course we won there.”

“Y-yes, ma’am,” he replied, though he could still see the false emptiness behind that light, little smile. She was wearing it like a battered mare would wear makeup to cover a black eye, even he could tell that from just one look.

“Is that all?”

“There is one other thing, ma’am,” the guard said, shrugging off the sudden discomfort that had washed over him at the Princess’s uncharacteristically cold tone. “Your sister has been demanding to speak with you since you raised the sun.”

“Ah, I expected as much,” Celestia sighed. That Luna was up this late could only mean she had gone a solid twenty-four hours without sleep. Again. “Show her in on your way out, guard, and then return to your posting.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, finally dropping his salute and striding out the door, head high, shoulders back, chest out, as he’d been trained. Celestia watched him go, and suppressed a giggle when he reached the door and was immediately knocked off his hooves by a midnight-blue blur rushing by, completely oblivious to his presence before pausing right in front of her. Celestia blinked and found herself looking right into her sister’s bloodshot corneas.

Here we go… she sighed to herself, preparing a muffling spell to protect her eardrums.

Whence art they!?” Luna intoned in her Royal Canterlot Voice, her words screaming off the walls. “Whence art the venomed, swag-bellied scuts responsible f'r these attacks!?

“Sister, dearest, please remain calm,” Celestia insisted, though she knew it was futile. Talking to Luna while she was in this state was only slightly better than trying to stop an oncoming train by reasoning with it.

We will not calm ourselves, sister! Ov'r a dozen of our guards art in the infirmary, and still we hast nay moo answers than …

“Luna, I know you’re upset, but please,” Celestia sighed, massaging her temple. “Regular English, if you can! For pity’s sake, in your rush to have this conversation, you’ve incapacitated one of my guards!”

“What…oh,” Luna replied, turning back to the woozy stallion lying next to the door. “Oh, oh, oh, terribly sorry.” The Princess of Night rushed to the armored stallion’s side, scooping him up in her magic and laying him out over her back.

“So very sorry, sister,” she said, her eyes sunken with worry. “We forgot ourselves in our fury.”

Celestia looked her sister’s worried frame over. The blue alicorn’s mane was frizzled, barely managing to remain adrift as it naturally should have, stray locks sticking out of it at almost every angle. Then there were the bags under her eyes, the hunched-over way her frame bore the weight of the pony on her back, where Celestia knew Luna could bench greater loads in her sleep.

“No kidding,” the Solar Princess said sarcastically, quietly undoing the spell over her ear canals.

“We will take this guard to the infirmary, and in the meantime, thou might brief us on what thou hast learn'd in the few hours we hast been aroint,” Luna said, beginning the trot back out of the ruined interview room.

“No sister, have a guard carry that load, we have much to discuss,” Celestia said, placing a hoof on her sister’s shoulder to keep her from walking away. In truth, she was doing this more for the blue alicorn’s benefit than anything else. Luna was obviously exhausted from leading the search for the changeling escapees, only to come up empty-hoofed. She had only returned to Canterlot so that she could lower the moon for the new day, and for that bit of fortune Celestia was grateful. Heaven knows Luna would have turned over every corner of Equestria, and of the moon probably, if she’d been allowed. Either way, the night-blue alicorn was obviously exhausted, but knowing her pride, would have taken any attempt to say so as a challenge.

Even with Celestia’s insistence, Luna still snorted in annoyance. “Verily well,” she said, whistling once. Immediately, a pair of bat pony guards appeared in the doorway, hooves up in salute. Celestia meant to ask what they were doing still awake, when she noticed their bedraggled manes, closed eyes, and easy breathing.

No way… she mused as Luna walked up to the pair and tossed the unconscious stallion on their backs.

“Take this pony to the infirmary, if you please, and leave us be. We have royal business to discuss in this room,” Luna said.

“SNNNNRRRRKKKKKKK…” One of the guards snored in reply, still saluting. Then the pair turned and walked off, swaying peacefully as they trotted along.

“Were those guards obeying in their sleep!?” Celestia asked incredulously.

“Just one of the many benefits of being the goddess of dreams,” Luna replied just as the guard fell off the bat ponies’ backs and hit the ground with a metallic clang, the bat ponies barely stirring as they continued their sleepwalk. Luna cringed at watching the stallion smash his face against the tiled floor. “Of course, it isn’t without its drawbacks.”

“Of course,” Celestia sighed, stooping over to gingerly pick the guard up and lay him out over the bat ponies’ backs again. “Now, we need to talk about some of the things we’ve found.”

“Of course, sister.”

“As you may well know, the changeling that was broken out of captivity was initially captured in the Royal Archives,” Celestia said, trotting back into the room while closing the door behind her. “What alarms me, however, is one fact most of the guards have overlooked: that he was found near the section pertaining to our ancient records of the Crystal Empire.”

Luna arched an eyebrow in interest. “Intriguing, have we any reports of changeling activity in the north?”

“Some small raids launched against remote outposts and the occasional infiltrator mingling with the general populace, but little else,” Celestia replied. “Still, any sort of outside threat against the Empire worries me greatly. They’re still recovering from Sombra’s siege, and Shining Armor and Cadence have their hooves full just keeping the government running on a day-to-day basis!”

“Not to mention it’s an entire city suffering from culture shock,” Luna mused thoughtfully. “Believe me; I know a thing or two about the displacement that can result from a thousand years of slumber, waking up without any awareness of the changes the world has undergone.”

Celestia smiled wanly and nuzzled the smaller alicorn, grateful that Luna had at least dropped her royal tone while they talked in private. “You’re doing great, Lulu.”

“Tell that to Ponyville this past Nightmare Night,” Luna sighed, rolling her eyes. “Eight months after my freedom from Nightmare Moon’s influence and they still just saw the monster of legends when I arrived.”

“Twilight didn’t,” Celestia pointed out hopefully.

“Oh great, one pony out of the entire village didn’t cringe in fear or wonder if I was going to eat them. I guess I’ve learned the value of friendship now!” Luna replied dryly.

“Well, things worked out in the end!”

“After I nearly canceled a holiday that had been tradition for centuries and terrorized an entire village!”

“And now that same village is begging you to return for next year’s celebration!”

“Alright, one village down, a thousand more to go,” Luna sighed, massaging her eyes as a few more strands of night-blue mane popped out of place. “We’re getting off-topic here; can we get back to the Crystal Empire?”

Celestia’s eyebrows hunched in worry, but she knew better than to push the subject when her sister was so obviously exhausted already. “Of course, sister. We were just detailing the Empire’s preparedness.”

“Which is to say it’s nonexistent,” Luna said, shifting gears from personal woes to matters of state with an ease her sister quietly admired. “Their military hierarchy is outdated, its personnel is undertrained, underequipped, and inexperienced, its populace is weakened by fear and by old racial divisions that most other communities have had centuries to overcome, and its bureaucracy is massive and mired with inefficiencies. Frankly, I’m surprised Captain - sorry, that’s Prince Shining Armor now – hasn’t thrown himself from the highest parapet in the Crystal Palace!”

“Not yet, at least,” Celestia said, smiling with her little sister at the bit of dark humor. The smiles were quick to fade, unfortunately. Celestia had expected to hear as much, but still, to hear it all said out loud bought a bitter taste to her mouth. Sighing again, she walked over to the shattered pile of glass and brushed at it with her hoof. “It is as I feared, then: the Crystal Empire is completely unprepared for modern combat, especially against the changelings.”

“I’m not even sure the Empire’s aristocracy knows what a changeling is,” Luna pointed out.

“We’ll need to step up patrols in the tundra, perhaps increase the frontier garrisons,” Celestia moaned. “At least, until we can prepare it for any sort of changeling incursion, if this break-in is indeed an indication that they are in danger.”

“And at the same time, we need to accelerate the Empire’s integration,” Luna added, a hoof pressed to her chin thoughtfully. “Shining Armor and Cadence are busy enough dealing with the bureaucracy; we need ponies checking things out, evaluating weak points, hunting for the signs of something requiring modernization…”

“Yes,” suddenly, Celestia brightened up, a genuine smile lighting up her face as inspiration struck like lightning from a clear, blue sky. “Somepony who would be able to recognize those flaws, because she had needed to overcome them in herself. Somepony with an ancient eye, but experience in the modern world!”

Luna, being a rather insightful pony, caught her sister’s drift almost immediately. “Surely, thou can’t be serious!” She gasped, inadvertently reverting to her formal, Royal Canterlot tone.

“Oh, why not, Lulu?” Celestia said, practically bouncing up and down like a filly in her glee. “You’re perfect for the job!”

“But we have our duties here in Canterlot to attend to!”

“Oh, pish-posh,” Celestia waved her off with a hoof. “You know I can double up my workload for a little while. I only did it for a thousand years before your return, after all!”

“And not terribly well!” Luna barked. “The Everfree Forest had fallen into savagery and chaotic disrepair before we reclaimed our night! Dost thou realize how much work we have put into taming it again these past few months!?”

“Exactly! You’ve put in a lot of work here, think of it as a vacation!”

Luna crossed her forehooves over her chest and snorted. “As if we needed one. We’re doing just fine, sister!”

Celestia deadpanned, then scooped up one of the larger shards of glass and held it up to mirror Luna’s face. For the first time, the smaller alicorn got a full view of the bags under her eyes, the stress-induced mess her mane had become, the sag starting to creep into the skin on her face. She took one look and bit her lip. “Alright, perhaps thou has a point. A small one.”

“Thank you,” Celestia said, smiling as her sister started striking a few poses in the makeshift mirror. Though she had seen better days, Luna was still one of the most beautiful creatures in all of Canterlot, and as Celestia watched muscle ripple beneath her sister’s skin, she was reminded how she was one of the most powerful as well. Still, a vacation would do her some good. She didn’t need a repeat of the one time she had let Luna handle both the Night and the Day Courts, and had woken up the following morning to find her perched atop a pile of drained coffee pots, vibrating and twitching violently while moaning something about finding a hairless monkey somewhere to do something unspeakable to her with its “fingers.”

“But sister – the Everfree!” Luna whimpered. “We cannot lose all the progress we’ve made, and we know thou cannot handle both it and the Day Courts! Willn’t thou still needeth some help?”

“Yes, well,” Celestia smiled sheepishly. “I was hoping to enlist the aid of someone with just the sort of power to keep the Everfree tamed.”

“Oh, but who?” Luna said. “Who in Equestria might have the sheer, raw power to keep such an unruly, chaotic land under their control? There’s me, and there’s you, and the only one I could possibly think of with even a shred of that kind of power is…”

She trailed off as it hit her. The phrases “unruly” and “chaotic” kept bouncing around in her head. Her wide eyes locked with her sister’s sheepish stare. “No…”

Celestia shrugged hopelessly.

“The-there must be someone else! Anyone else!” She moaned.

“You know there isn’t.”

“But…to have him in charge of my beloved forest! Th-that total jackass…”

“Did somepony call my name?” A familiar, English-accented voice mused from above their heads. Luna felt bile rise up in her throat as a long, snake-like body coiled its way down the wall, shooting up right in front of her in the familiar form of the god of chaos himself.

“Discord,” she snorted, nostrils flaring.

“Is it?” He asked, scratching his chin in thought. “Huh, and here I thought my name was ‘total jackass,’ heaven knows you’ve used that term in my presence often enough. Well, thanks for the reminder, you get a nice party popper, Luna!” At that, he promptly stuck one end of a popper in her mouth and pulled until it exploded, covering her face in soot and spraying confetti everywhere.

“Get it? A party popper for the party pooper!” He gasped, then threw his head back and howled with laughter.

“Discord,” Celestia barked.

The draconequus turned, smiling wickedly as he swooped over to the Solar Princess, meeting her gaze with an evil grin. “Princess,” he replied.

The pair stared at one another a moment longer, the tension in the space between their eyes nearly palpable. A sudden urge to shy away washed over Luna as their glares hardened, their eyes reddening with strain, their looks darkening. Then, rather suddenly, Celestia closed the distance with her lips, pressing a light kiss on his snout while maintaining perfect eye contact.

The wicked smile becoming even broader, Discord replied with a spring-like tongue that shot out of his mouth and coiled around the Princess’s neck. “Ugh!” Luna gagged as the tongue wrapped around the Solar Princess and finally ended right by the side of her face, the tip quickly lapping along her cheek bone.

Finally, Celestia quivered and her eyes shut, letting loose a moan of pleasure. “Bastard…thought I…had you…that time…” she gasped, dropping to the ground in pleasure.

“You almost did,” he replied, trailing a claw up her spine and earning another pleasure-filled moan. “But I am the king of the staring contest, and no being is ever going to change that.”

“Ugh, get a room you two!” Luna cried, her nose wrinkling in revulsion. “It’s not enough I’m sworn to secrecy about every little thing you do, must you be so blatant about it around me?”

“Oh, we do have a room though, Lulu,” Discord replied, waggling that snake-like tongue at her. “The one right next to yours, remember? Deep into the night? When I show up and…”

A hoof stamped against his tail, and he winced, looking down at the Princess in his grasp while she glared daggers back up at him. “I’ll behave,” he promised. Smiling and nodding, Celestia released his tail, allowing him to cradle it and whimper.

“See? He can be taught,” Celestia said smartly, patting Discord lovingly on the head.

“Ughhhh,” Luna moaned, rubbing her temple again as the last few strands of her mane clinging on for dear life popped out of place. Celestia just smiled helplessly. It was obvious that Luna loved her dearly, and cherished her input beyond all others. As for her taste in mates, well, that was something they would just have to overcome together. “Look, we called you here for a reason.”

“Ooh, lovely,” Discord smiled, stretching out over the floor. Before Luna could go on, he replied: “Sure Lulu, I’ll handle the Everfree for ya, just don’t expect it to be a regular thing, alright?”

Luna let her breath out in a long, deflated, and decidedly undignified raspberry as Celestia nuzzled the spirit. “Thanks, sweetheart,” she cooed.

“I won’t be doin’ it for free, y’know,” he quickly added. “I’ll be missing out on a lot of chaos and tea parties with Flutters while I’m busy with the Everfree, so I have here a list of demands…” with a snap of his fingers, a scroll fluttered down on them from above, written on high-quality parchment paper in crayons of differing shades and colors which sometimes changed mid-sentence.

Luna took the list in hoof, gave it a perfunctory glance, found it contained such demands as “Lance Armstrong’s third ballock” and “A Tommy Wiseau gun (IT’LL TEAR YOU APART, LULU!)” and arched an eyebrow at him.

“We’ll allow thee an allowance of 500 bits a week from the royal treasury and a selection of one, and ONLY one, chocolate oatsicle from our private freezer in our room,” she replied.

“Four oatsicles,” he replied, glaring at her.

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Two,” Celestia weighed in, stepping between the pair. “And I will show up on your bed one random night a week wearing these.” Tapping her hoof, a pair of packages appeared in the air around her, one containing a horse’s bit and a set of pink, fuzzy cuffs, the other a pack of four edible gummy panties (“Try all seven sex-tastic flavors!”) and a saddle with a large, red heart stitched into the back.

Discord’s eyebrows shot up past his hairline, perched upon his horns, whistled and howled like a pair of wolves during a full moon, and landed back on his face with a loud thud. “DEAL!” He screamed, taking Luna’s hoof, shaking her violently, and taking off again. “AH’MMM GON’ GET LAID!” He screamed as he shot into the air at a speed that would have impressed Rainbow Dash.

Luna looked over at her sister, her eyes wide and sagging in horror as the white alicorn packed away the little packages. “Sister, thou aren’t seriously…”

“Sorry, Luna,” Celestia said with a saucy little smirk. “But we all have our sacrifices to make for Equestria.”

Luna shoved a hoof in her mouth, fought back the tidal wave of vomit that threatened to well up from her throat, and raised a hoof. “Okay, I’m okay…”

“Oh, shoot,” Celestia stamped a hoof. “I forgot to tell him that Fluttershy will be gone all week with the rest of the Elements of Harmony.”

Luna, thanking every god imaginable for the change in subject, cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her sister. “And why is that?”

“By coincidence, I just dispatched them to the Crystal Empire,” she shrugged. “I thought Shining and Cadence could use some help with the workload, and I knew Twilight would be able to help. And seeing to it that such a job would be somewhat long-term, I thought it would be best if her friends were there as well. For a few weeks, at least.”

“Ah, wonderful,” Luna smiled. “The Elements themselves can help us acclimate ourselves to life in the Crystal Empire!”

“Yes…” Celestia trailed off, biting her lip. “Sister, now that I think about it…is it so wise to have so many of Equestria’s assets concentrated in one location? Especially since we know that location is under threat?” It seemed the thought of both Luna and Twilight under threat was a little much for the Solar Princess to bear.

“Oh, pish-posh, sister,” Luna replied. “If anything, so many heavy-hitters in the Empire must deter a changeling threat! I mean, who would be foolish enough to attack both the Lunar Princess and the Elements of Harmony? Not to mention the royal couple who defeated them in the first place!”

“Yes, the royal couple…” Celestia replied absentmindedly. One didn’t have to be a mind-reader to know what she was thinking. Memories of the changeling attack on Canterlot, of her doubt for her own student during such a critical time, and how that doubt led her to be imprisoned in a cocoon suspended in her own throne room, played out in her eyes as plainly as television screens.

Seeing this, Luna smiled easily and went to her sister’s side, nuzzling the Princess of Day with as much loving care as she could muster. Snapping out of her fugue, Celestia returned the gesture. “This was your idea, after all,” Luna pointed out.

“Yes, and look where my ideas got us during the Canterlot wedding,” Celestia replied flatly.

“Hey! Aren’t I the one who should be mired in the mistakes of my past?” Luna growled playfully, earning a guffaw from Celestia. Luna hugged her sister tightly, wrapping her forehooves around the other alicorn’s neck and squeezing, hoping Celestia knew just a fraction of the love she felt for her. “Everything will work out this time, I promise.”

“I’m sure they will,” Celestia replied. “Still, I worry.”

“Don’t,” Luna said sharply. “I’m a big mare, Tia, I can take care of myself.”

“I’m sure you can,” Celestia smiled. “And say, I’m sure you’ll have so much free time on your hooves, you’ll finally be able to track down the stallion of your dreams!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, sister!” Luna called over her shoulder as she trotted off to pack for the trip. “The stallion of our dreams only exists in them!”

“Just be careful out there!”

“Will do! Love ya, Tia!”

“Love you too, sister,” Celestia called, quickly bowing her head back to the large, reflective glass shard. With her sister gone, she could only see one thing in the shard now: the mare whose mistakes almost cost her a kingdom, and her ponies’ their freedom. “Be careful, Lulu,” she whispered, hoping that the stupid mare looking back at her hadn’t just made yet another idiotic mistake.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Back in the infirmary, the Solar Guardstallion remained limp as he was unceremoniously dumped on the tiled floor by the snoring bat ponies. He remained practically catatonic even as the doctors rolled their eyes, carried him to a cot, and ran through a full checkup, including an internal temperature check that required a thermometer in his ass so deep and for so long that he seriously considered buying a ring for it just to make things official.

Turning in his cot the smallest, barest amount of a micron, the guard forced a wince down as his newly-sore bottom complained. He only gave it the rubbing it desperately needed hours later, when the lights were turned off and he was sure he was alone. At that point, he opened an eye to the faintest hint of a slit, the flicker of a green shimmer passing through it as he scanned the room before closing them again.

He finally shifted in his bed, pulling some pressure off his aching rear. He grimaced, and not entirely from having his black cherry popped by six inches of cold glass. He had heard a single phrase while lying dazed (though not actually unconscious) on the bat-pony’s back, just one phrase said in the moment before the doors between him and the Princess had swung shut, and that phrase was “Crystal Empire.”

His grimace softened back to a neutral blank. This was very bad, but fortunately, he had the means with which to rectify this, and perhaps even salvage the situation. With a thought, he opened up an invisible, magical communications channel with a station setup in an unnoticeable little cave on the side of the mountain.

Sokol-One, come in Sokol-One! He whispered into the channel. This is Agent Orange, calling Sokol-One, I have an important message for the Queen…

Author's Notes:

Thought I'd forgotten about this one, eh?

Special thanks to DJK for prereading, TheNextGamer for feeding my idiocy, and lingojam for his English to Ye Olde English translator for Luna's angry parts :)

Chapter V: The Setup (Part II)

Since losing her mother, Queen Chrysalis had grown accustomed to the same set of dreams haunting her subconscious almost every night, only gaining a reprieve on the nights when her sleep was completely dreamless. Not to say that all these dreams were bad, per se, though there was one in particular...

Thankfully, tonight’s little tour de force from her subconscious would be one of the more tame, if a bit murkier, dreams. In this one, she saw just a continuing black abyss, darkness drawn over her eyes like a heavy blanket. Sometimes, it was hard to breathe in this dream, but not tonight. Tonight, she was just left squinting into the dark.

At some point in the night, the voices started up. They always did in this dream. They were accompanied by far-off sounds and panicked shouts that were absolutely impossible to discern, distorted by some echoing effect from the abyss. One voice always broke through, though. One clear voice, obviously feminine, possibly pony (or just changeling in disguise, to avoid the hissing effect all changeling voices held), but that always rose up from all the others to cry her name:

“CHRYSALIS!”

And that would be it. She would wake up with her silken bedclothes soaked in sweat, gasping for air. As happened most nights, a quick scan of the sheets revealed fang marks and places where her acidic saliva burnt right through the cloth, like some hatchling mare unable to control their own night terrors. She shook her head with a sad sigh, making a quick mental note to call up the royal housekeepers for another change of sheets. Her breathing calming, the Queen of the changelings rolled over in her bed, not to go asleep again, but to greet an old friend.

The other changeling standing at the side of her bed watched her intently; her pale eyes locked on her Queen, though everyone in the hive knew that this particular changeling was blind as a bat. The old changeling looked at Chrysalis from eyes perched under a ragged fin, her marked and dented chitin catching the dim light and reflecting it throughout the room like a disco ball that had been hit by a dump truck. Chrysalis shuddered at the sight of the ancient creature. She couldn’t tell how old this changeling was, but only knew that she’d looked this aged for as long as the Queen could remember. Even as a hatchling playing in her private play room, she could remember this changeling watching her with those same, pale eyes as she discussed signs from the gods with Chrysalis’s father, her jaw clicking and her joints popping with each minor motion even then.

“I had it again,” Chrysalis said, not shocked in the slightest by the old changeling’s appearance in her private quarters at this time of night. The Seer always appeared when that particular dream popped up, and Chrysalis had long given up any hopes of understanding how or why.

“As I am aware…my Queen,” the Seer replied in a voice like a wrought-iron gate on hinges that hadn’t seen oil in decades, taking a long pause halfway through her own sentence to spit out a bit of phlegm that congealed onto the wall and set as hard as cement within seconds. That voice still made Chrysalis wince, though only slightly and beyond the notice of the Seer (or so she hoped, there was really no telling what this changeling did and did not see). “This is third time…this month.”

“Does that mean anything?” Chrysalis asked.

“Perhaps…and perhaps not,” the ancient creature scratched at her chin with a twisted, chipped hoof. The pauses for breath in her speech came more frequently now than Chrysalis remembered, but her words still struck her ears with the same resonance as a church bell being rung next to her head. “Premonition dreams…often unclear. However, if they start occurring…more and more frequently…is almost always a sign…that time they concern…is fast approaching.”

“And it still means the same as it did before? There’s nothing more you can tell me?”

The older changeling nodded. “’I am sorry, my Queen…nothing has changed. Again, all I can tell you…that the moment in the future…this dream concerns has something…to do with causing a pony of great power…great amount of pain. Who that pony might be…or even nature of that pain…I do not know.”

“A pony of great power,” Chrysalis repeated, rolling off her bed and sighing as she pressed herself to all four hooves, shaking off the stiffness of sleep. “Still, something to look forward to. I hope it’s Sunbutt, personally. Though I’d settle for that wannabe, Cadence.”

The Seer nodded with a tiny smile on her wrinkled lips. “Aye, a bit of revenge…for Canterlot failure would be nice. However…must repeat my warning of last time…”

“…That when the time comes, I will not want to cause this pony harm,” Chrysalis interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “So you’ve said, yet you’ve yet to explain why! Why would I not wish a pony any harm!?”

She pulled open a drawer in the black, oaken bureau that dominated an entire wall of the room, revealing a selection of crowns waiting for her choosing. “It’s not like they’ve ever done any better for us,” she added more quietly as she sifted through the barely-organized pile of crowns, casting aside the more extravagant Celebration and Special Occasion crowns coated in glittering jewels before finding her trademark, elegant, black, three-pronger, placing it on her head with a near-palpable air of reverence.

The older changeling simply smiled knowingly as her aged lips began to weave a tale. This time, there were no pauses for breath, no halts, as if losing herself in the story had added years to her lifespan. “Many years ago, in one of the ancient kingdoms of Zebrica, a young stallion in a small peasant village received a pet chicken for his birthday. ‘Oh, how wonderful,’ the inhabitants of that village said, but the village elder, an old and wise zebra to whom everyone turned to for advice, simply said: ‘We’ll see.”

Chrysalis scooped up one of the ornate brushes from her bureau (a gift from Saddle Arabia. Or, at least, a Saddle Arabian Prince who’s lover she had been imponynating) and began brushing absentmindedly, her mind lost in the tale. The Seer’s voice seemed to grow with each word, gaining strength that quickly swept the Queen up within its volume.

“A few months passed, and the foal was out playing with his chicken when, in his distracted, oblivious state, he was caught in a rock slide. Though both he and the chicken survived, he was left with a broken hoof that never healed right, leaving him with a limp that would follow him for the rest of his life. And the inhabitants of the village said, ‘Oh, how terrible!’ But once again, the village elder said, ‘We’ll see.’

“A few years passed, and war broke out with another kingdom. Eventually, the king sent runners to every little village in his rule to gather up all the young, fighting-age stallions to go to war, but though the foal was now fighting age, he was left behind because of his limp. A few months later, it was learned that every stallion who had been gathered from that village had been killed in battle. Though they lamented their loss, the village soon realized that had the foal been without his limp, they would have lost every stallion they had in the new generation, possibly losing their village’s future as so many other villages had before. ‘Oh, how wonderful!’ They said over their good fortune, but do you know what the village elder said?”

“Let me guess,” Chrysalis said with a wry smile, finally realizing that she had brushed her mane as much as was possible and moving on to the small file she used to sharpen her fangs. “We’ll see?”

The older changeling looked to her student, a wise, good-natured twinkle in her otherwise dull eyes. “Do you understand?”

Chrysalis nodded. While the older changeling’s tales were oftentimes long and rambling, there was always a lesson to be taken from them. Years of hunting for that lesson amidst the rhetoric and characterization had sharpened her mind to the point where the Seer’s stories only stumped her perhaps once or twice a month now, the lesson coming to her as clear as day while the story unfolded. This time, however, she believed even a hatchling would be able to piece this one together. “The future is always uncertain,” she replied before running the file a few times over a blemish in her right incisor.

The Seer nodded proudly. “Always. The future is a disturbed puddle, its bottom only becoming clear with time, as its waters settle and it morphs from what could be and into what is. The only one who can possibly know what is at the bottom of that puddle is she who lives through it, and until then, anything is possible.”

“But there are patterns that can help,” Chrysalis retorted, looking at her Seer’s reflection in the mirror. “We can almost be certain that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, as it has for the past thousand years with few exceptions. We can be certain that the nations of the world will continue to argue and bicker over this agreement or that trade deal, as they have since there was more than one nation to argue with one another. We can almost certainly know that the world will continue spinning through space and every species will continue moving in much the same way they have been since the dawn of time, such as the continuing xenophobic hatred some species share with one another.”

She finally turned to lock eyes directly with her Seer, her blazing emeralds meeting with the older changeling’s saddened, pale blues. “Ponies and changelings do not get along. Though we require their love for sustenance, they will always only see monsters when they gaze upon our natural forms. That is why we fight, that is why their love must be taken through deception and force, and that is why I will never pity a pony’s situation no matter how miserable, nor should I ever think to lift a hoof to aid one of their number, when they have done no such favor for us in return.”

“Of this, you are certain?”

“Almost entirely.”

“You said almost,” the Seer pointed out. With a surprising amount of agility, she darted around the bed and appeared at the Queen’s side, pressing a cracked hoof to the royal’s chest. “What of that small part of you that I know exists, that bright-eyed little princess I knew of old who told me how, someday, we wouldn’t have to steal love from ponies? That someday, they might just give it to us?”

Chrysalis sighed angrily, a faint hiss passing from the back of her throat. “That princess grew up,” she replied. “It’s a nice hope to have, truly, but we can almost be certain it will never happen.”

“You said ‘almost’ again!” The Seer scoffed. “Some part of you still believes there is a chance!”

Chrysalis finally relented, knowing there could be no hiding any part of herself from the older changeling. Keeping her blazing emeralds locked on the aging creature, she replied through clenched teeth: “While some naïve part of me still clings to that hope, the rest of me knows that the odds of such a hope becoming reality are simply too small. It could never come to pass, never in a million years. The pattern of pony-changeling hostility is just too powerful.”

The old sage simply smiled at Chrysalis with eyes wizened by an impossible number of years and whispered: “We’ll see.”

Though she fought it, Chrysalis couldn’t help but to feel a smile crack her muzzle as she shoved the old one away. “Oh, come off it, you cheesy old coot!” She chuckled.

“There she is,” the older changeling giggled lively. “Whenever she giggles, that little Princess I knew comes out again.”

Blushing intensely, Chrysalis sighed and brushed the Seer aside. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, old one.”

“You know I do. Why don’t you let that little princess come out and play more often, Chryssie?” The Seer asked, pressing a hoof to Chrysalis’s heart again. “She’s so lonely, locked up in here.”

This time, the changeling royal was faster in brushing the chipped hoof aside, even throwing in a derisive snort for good measure. “I should gather my generals. We have much to discuss about our plans in the North,” her muzzle rising haughtily, her eyes grew steely and cold. “You won’t be required, Seer, so if you please…do move along.”

The Seer frowned, but nodded stoically. “As you wish, my queen,” she said, bowing as she backed away out the door.

Chrysalis sighed the moment she was alone again. Sure, it was true she’d had her hopes when she’d first ascended to the throne, even with the horrible circumstances around that ascension still fresh in her mind. Unfortunately, the world had a funny way of pounding hope out of younglings, even ones as powerful as she had been. There were only so many hate-filled, racially-fuelled attacks a young changeling could take before she retreated underground with her entire race, waiting for the day they could build up the strength to simply take what they needed, biding her time for one strike to seize everything.

Canterlot should have been that strike. After seizing the ponies’ treasured capital, disabling their oh-so-perfect princesses, and taking the Elements of Harmony prisoner, she should have had it all in the bag. Finally, changelings would have been able to step out of the darkness. Finally, her people would be able to walk out in the open without fear. Finally…finally…

“…we were going to live without fear,” she whispered. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, letting loose with another sigh. Once upon a time, those glowing emeralds staring back at her had been wide and filled with hope. Once upon a time, the changeling she saw had hopes and dreams of a world that lived in peace and harmony, where her people could eat without deception or force, where a young changeling princess could live without fear of discovery or of him, and maybe, just maybe, that same princess could find someone somewhere who could look past the fangs and the chitin and the tattered mane and see something worth loving.

“Well, at least one of those played out,” she said, a weary, plastered-on smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. So much had happened in the days leading to her ascension, so much had happened after, and now, that bright-eyed little changeling princess was gone, probably forever. Bah, the old Seer didn’t know what she was talking about. That princess was history. All that was left was the tired old queen before her, free of delusions, resigning herself to a long and lonely existence.

She sighed, hurriedly wiping a tear from her face. She had only just finished fully recovering when her door slowly creaked open. “Your majesty?” Another changeling asked as he entered, this one with sharp and angular features and eyes as cold as the frozen tundra, even compared with other changelings’. Frankly, this guy made the rest of the hive look like a bunch of Bushwoolies with pillows and teddy bears duct taped to themselves. Maybe that was why he was her highest-ranking commander.

“High General Chickit,” Chrysalis said, acknowledging the changeling with a nod.

“Your majesty,” the changeling said, bowing to one knee. His voice, much like himself, was punctual and to the point, without a single word or breath wasted. He was a model of military efficiency. Again, just another reason he was so high up in the military hierarchy that the Queen was his only official superior, even if he still shared power with a few others. “My apologies for entering your personal quarters, but you told me to alert you the moment there were any developments with Operation Snowfall.”

“Ah, wonderful,” she said, nodding for him to rise. “And?”

“Madam,” the general stood, only to immediately transition into a salute, standing ramrod straight with one hoof across his brow. “Infiltration Team Alpha is reporting complete success. They have returned to the palace with the plans required.”

For the second time that hour (a rare occurrence for her), a genuine smile crossed the changeling queen’s face. “As I knew they would,” she replied. She turned to a small, polished brass tube in the wall and pulled out a large, pale-white maggot. Without a second thought, she held the creature in her magic and bit into it, taking a massive chunk of flesh from its quivering, grayish surface. There was a slight hiss like air leaking from a balloon, then the quivering thing laid still in her grasp. The High General didn’t even react except to spare a single hungry glance at the grub. She continued speaking around mouthfuls of meat that she replenished with an occasional bite. “See to it that they get a few days off for another successful mission.”

“Of course, my queen,” Chickit replied. A tiny frown crossed Chrysalis’s face upon hearing the bitter undercurrent in his voice. How the high general felt about Bait and Switch was no secret within the hive: whenever he was in charge of picking missions or commanding large-scale infiltrations, Bait and Switch always managed to land the worst assignments, guaranteed to land them in the most dangerous of situations. Not to mention the near-palpable look of disgust that crossed his face at every awards ceremony when the general himself was forced to lay a medal around each of their necks, which was quite often given their success rate.

It wasn’t hard to guess why Chickit hated the duo: they were just too different, too eccentric. Of course, it was this eccentricity that allowed them to blend with ponies so perfectly in spite of any shortcomings in their abilities to disguise themselves, but that didn’t keep the general’s hate from growing with every tale of success and every impossible situation that the pair faced. It didn’t help that the general was of the old guard, the changelings that believed every moment where ponies lived free and not as slaves beneath the swarm’s hole-filled hooves was an offense to everything they were supposed to stand for, whereas rumors flew about Bait and Switch occasionally helping ponies during their missions.

There was the bank heist in Trottingham where they tore up all the foreclosure records on file and donated a large chunk of their ill-gotten gains to a local orphanage, the infiltration mission in Baltimare where they spent all their time maintaining their cover by volunteering at the animal shelter, the exfiltration mission to Ponyville when they delivered a captured infiltrator to the safety of the Everfree, and then immediately turned around to beat up a couple muggers who had been holding a pony couple hostage. Now, there were even more absurd rumors flying around that this latest mission had ended with them breaking up a robbery for the sake of some mare! Chrysalis never minded these, not even caring if any of them were true or not, so long as the pair returned with results. The general, though...

“My queen, if I may be so bold,” he said, finally lowering his hoof. “Perhaps next time, my Praetorian Guard could handle a mission of such sensitivity? While Bait and Switch have seen some success in the past, their…lack of discipline worries me.”

Lack of discipline. Right, that’s why those two were always sent to single-hoofedly take on dragon’s nests whenever the high-general had control of the duty roster. “I think we should continue utilizing Bait and Switch to their fullest whenever we can,” she replied, hardly even looking at him, instead staring at the meaty creature in her grasp as she polished it off with a few, final bites, licking her hoof clean. “They seem to blend well with the ponies, regardless of what activities they may choose to carry out on the side. Besides, aren’t your Praetorians occupied with recon to the North?”

She could practically hear the high-general’s fangs grind against his lower teeth. “Of course, your majesty. How stupid of me. Truly, your wisdom knows no bounds.”

Chrysalis wanted to hand the guy an award for that bit of acting, the kind of award that ponies in too much hair gel sometimes gave one another to feed their own egos while surrounding themselves with red velvet and flank-kissing reporters, but she settled for a nod of acknowledgement in his direction. “Thank you, high-general, will that be all?”

“Actually, your majesty, we have one other development in the Operation,” he stood up again, his own seething emotions disappearing as he continued on with his report. “One of our spies within the royal guard reports that the princesses have already determined what was stolen, and have already begun countermeasures against our plans.”

The Queen whirled around on him, eyes wide in shock. “Already!?”

“I am afraid so, my Queen.”

“Oh, great tragedy,” she lamented, a hoof covering her eyes in a dramatic pose that would have made Rarity proud. “Oh, whatever shall we do? The ponies have uncovered our plans, and are surely readying themselves for us! All is ruined! Whatever shall we do!?”

The high-general allowed the tiniest hint of a smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth. “Besides carry out Plan B, your highness?”

Chrysalis grinned wickedly as she dropped her hoof. “Well, I suppose there’s always that,” she said with a knowing smile and a little shrug. “How are the diggers progressing?”

“The tunnels are almost complete, madam.”

“Excellent,” she said. "I give the ponies a couple days to determine we’ve stolen the plans to the Empire’s sewer system. With any luck, the Crystal Ponies will have all their resources focused there by the time we’re ready."

"Yes, my Queen," Chickit replied, his toothy grin turning wicked. "Too bad our tunnels will be shooting right by them, eh?"

"Too bad indeed. Otherwise, Celestia would have scored a great intelligence victory, rather than handing us our own on a silver platter," Chrysalis replied, a hoof running through her mane, feeling the clumpy strands through the holes in her hooves. "Will that be all, Chickit?"

"Yes, my Queen."

"Good, then return to your duties. Our army will need its finest leader if it is to be ready for the assault ahead."

"Of course, your highness," Chickit completed with a little bow before turning to leave, Chrysalis immediately returning to her bureau to complete her preparations for the day. As he left, as if he'd been holding it back all along, the high-general couldn't help but allow a scowl of pure disgust to wash over his face.

If Chrysalis had noticed this scowl, she might have uncovered many of the things occurring right under the noses of both herself and her loyal followers. Much would have changed had she seen the plans within plans, the rebellion within the invasion. Instead, all she saw was her general's retreating backside, thinking herself oh-so-naughty for sneaking a peek at the younger changeling's battle-hardened and toned flank. If she had any clue about his oh-so-naughty thoughts, the ones he'd been entertaining since the failure at Canterlot, she would have cut him down on the spot.

However, she didn't, and all the players, for better and for worse, proceeded unimpeded. On one side, the white, on the other, the black, and in between, a third side hiding in the shadows that neither would see until it was far too late.

Author's Notes:

As always, special thanks go to DJK and TheNextGamer for feeding into the horrible, decayed, nightmarish wasteland that are my thoughts. :twilightsmile:

And just so everybody knows, the tale of the Zebrican village is adapted from an Afghan proverb about a boy in a small, ancient village.

Chapter VI: Shiney and Cady

A FEW DAYS LATER

The sun slowly dawned over the Crystal Empire, peeking over the snow-covered mountains to set the city blazing with dazzling light. The red and yellow pre-dawn rays sparkled through the crystalline structures of the Empire, refracting and bouncing about as dark and muted rainbows throughout the streets. One stray beam of sunlight bounced right off the sparkling awning of a shop in the streets, shimmering right into the palace through the window of the master bedroom.

Prince Shining Armor groaned and turned over in his bed, burying his face under his pillow. “I swear, if I ever figure out where that one beam is coming from…” he mumbled sleepily.

Next to him, his wife sat up the instant the beam hit, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She yawned, stretched, blinked a few times, and ran a hoof through her bedhead-inflicted mane. Turning to her husband, she smiled and lifted his pillow up to give him a soft peck to the forehead. “Wake up, sleepy head,” she cooed.

Groaning, Shining didn’t turn away from his wife, but did manage to stick his lips out. With a tired smile, Cadence obliged him with a quick little kiss to the lips. He exhaled through his nose, sparing her his morning breath. “That was lovely,” he said, promptly rolling over and wrenching his pillow from her grasp.

“Oh come on, Shiney,” she said, her hooves going to her hips. “You may not be a morning pony, but you know I’m going get you up eventually.”

“Who says I’m not a morning pony?” He asked sleepily. “I love mornings; I just wish they came later in the day.”

“Ugh, that joke is older than Auntie Tia,” she said with another roll of her eyes.

“Too early to be clever.”

“C’moooooon,” she urged, pulling the sheets away from his body. The unicorn promptly shivered and curled up, grimacing against the brisk morning air. Harumphing, a wicked smile spread across Cadence’s face. The princess promptly trotted to Shining’s bedside and laid her head on his pillow. Still smiling, she closed her lips over his and stuck her tongue in his mouth, curling it against his back molars in that ticklish way she knew he couldn’t resist. Shining smiled contentedly, still half asleep as he returned the kiss. A few seconds in, Cadence pulled her head back, and Shining followed like a fish caught on a hook. She kept up the pull, easing him further and further away from the bed until…

“Woah, buck!” He screamed, eyes flying open and hooves spinning wildly as he crashed to the hard, crystal floor. Shaking himself awake, he turned and glared at his wife. “That was a dirty trick, you know.”

“Dirty trick? From a princess?” She gasped with a cute little smile. “You forget your place, Captain Armor!”

“Maybe,” he said, his glare turning into a sultry smile. “Perhaps I need to be punished so I’ll remember next time?”

“Mmh…yes,” she said, arching an eyebrow seductively as she tapped her horn and a strange, pink aura with lavender polka dots appeared at the top of her horn. “I think I’ll start with this.”

His smile faded. “Ugh, Cadyyyy…” he groaned like a colt being told to eat his vegetables. “You know I hate your scans!”

“You’re due, Shiny: we have to make sure that bug’s influence is really gone,” she replied, lowering her head so her horn drew closer to his. The stallion sighed dramatically, but tilted his head in turn, offering his horn up. Cadence closed her eyes, and there was a brilliant flash, and…

Last semester in college, oh man! I’m almost out! I just hope the Guard takes my application…

She frowned and shot past the memory, trying not to look too long to keep her husband’s privacy intact. Or, what little there was left of it. She was just here for one specific group of memories anyway, so after pushing past the embarrassing high school memories and the urges to scratch himself (she KNEW that was hard-wired in somewhere!), she reached his love.

Oh man, that new transfer student…she’s beautiful…

Her laugh is amazing…I didn’t even think that story was all that funny…

Say yes, please say yes, I can’t imagine my future without you, Cady, oh Celestia please say yes…

I do.

Smiling, she dipped her head further, and instantly waves of pleasing warmth washed over her body, working down from her head and back down to her tail. If she had her way, they would stay like this all day, but as it was, she quickly pulled away, signifying the end of the spell with a kiss to his cheek. “It’s wonderful to have a constant reason to see what you really feel about me.”

“I still hate these things,” he grumbled. “There are some things a stallion should have to himself, and the inside of his head is one of them.”

“You only hate it because you don’t like sharing your emotions, like the big, stereotypical meathead you are,” she said with a tiny smile and another kiss.

“Maybe,” he said. He still hadn’t met her eyes since she’d started the spell, despite her obvious efforts to make him do just that. A thought occurred to him. “Hey, Cady?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking…about…that day…” he said, every word needing to be forced out his mouth past a wall of embarrassment.

“Don’t,” she said sternly. “Don’t even start this again. I know what you’re going to say, and I’m telling you now as your wife, don’t.”

“It’s just that…Chrysalis took me out so easily!” Shining said, her words apparently rushing in one ear, only to shoot right out the other. “She had me totally convinced she was you! And the only one smart enough to see through it all was my sister! I failed you!”

His hooves dropped, as did his muzzle. “I failed everypony. I didn’t protect you on the day I took a vow to do just that. You deserve a pony that can succeed where I failed, Cady. The Empire deserves a pony who can at least protect their Princess.”

“Shining Armor, look at me.” She said, still with that stern tone, like a mother trying to impress a lesson on her whipped foal. Shining Armor obeyed, meeting his wife’s hard gaze. “How do you think I feel about that whole day?”

His eyebrows rose. “What’s that?”

“You’re not the only one who took a vow to love and protect,” she said, her hard gaze melting into a wan smile. “Remember, in order to even get close to you, Chrysalis had to go through me. Which she did. Quite easily, too. And as an Alicorn, a princess of love, no less, how do you think that feels?”

The couple sat on the bed, stunned, gazing at each other. Then, rather suddenly, Shining leaned forward, his lips puckering out. Cadence was quick to reply, closing the distance between them and joining in the kiss. It dragged out, their nostrils flaring as their forehooves wrapped around one another, the pair sharing a passionate, loving embrace. Finally, it ended, their lips parting with a smack, Shining Armor looking into the eyes of his mare, Cadence looking into the eyes of her stallion.

“Did you honestly believe I’d leave you for falling at Chrysalis’s hooves, after everything we went through after?” She asked, her voice gentle. “She was the Queen, my Shining Armor. I’m proud that you shook her influence off as quickly as you did.”

“I didn’t say you’d leave me,” he replied with a grin. “I could stay in town and remain your secret lover, if you want.”

“Sounds ever so naughty…” she replied, tracing a hoof along the side of his neck. “I think you just want an excuse to run around and hide with me, like when we were first dating.”

“What’s wrong with that? At night, I’ll don a mask and cape, appear at your window,” he suddenly wrapped her in his forelegs and swept her off-balance, supporting her in his grip. “Sweep you off your hooves…”

“Shining!” She giggled.

“What? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like making out in the back of a rented carriage again!” He grinned mischievously.

“Oh, whatevah will my Auntie Tia think if she finds me with the mysterious phantom of the Crystal Empire!” She gasped in a fake country accent she’d picked up from Applejack.

“Zink not on zat, Pwincess!” He cooed in the worst French accent he could muster, nuzzling into her neck. “For tonight, zere is only ze moon, ze stars, and thou!”

“Oh phantom…” she whispered, slowly pulling him in, lips extended for a kiss. Smiling, he bowed his head, ready to give his wife the mother of all smooches, when the door burst open and a certain lavender unicorn trotted in.

“Good morning!” Twilight Sparkle said, thankfully too distracted by a roll of paper held out in front of her eyes to pay any attention to what her brother and sister-in-law were doing.

“Twily!” Shining gasped, losing his grip on Cadence and dropping her to the floor with an unceremonious thud.

“Just wanted to go over everypony’s schedule for the day,” the lavender unicorn said, still not looking up from her list as she took a seat on the bed and Shining helped his wife back to her hooves.

“Um, right, Twily,” Cadence said, resting a hoof on the lavender unicorn’s leg. “Could we maybe do this later? Shining and I were in the middle of…” she trailed off, looking to her husband for help.

“Something,” he replied with a shrug.

“Right. Something.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s not in the schedule,” Twilight chimed, her quill pen dashing over her scroll as she hoofed a couple stacks of papers towards Shining. “Now, while I’m here, I’m going to need you to help me dictate my letters and daily status reports to Princess Celestia.”

“Oof,” he groaned under the weight of the stack. “Shouldn’t Spike be helping you with this?”

“I decided he should get a vacation while the girls and I are here,” she explained, eyes still locked on the scroll. “I left him with the Cutie Mark Crusaders back in Ponyville.”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Shining asked bewilderedly. “As in those three fillies who keep blowing stuff up all over Ponyville with increasingly irresponsible attempts to find their special talents?”

“That’s them!” She replied brightly.

The stack of papers fell from his hooves. And here he was, thinking his sister was some sort of genius this entire time. How she’d duped him, he’d never know.

“Twilight…” Cadence started, pressing a fetlock to her former babysitting charge’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Why in the name of Celestia’s blazing almighty flank would you think leaving a child to care for three dangerously irresponsible fillies would be a good idea!?” Shining gasped.

Taken aback by her brother’s outburst, Twilight quickly shrugged him off and glared back. “I’ll have you know Spike is a growing dragon! It was about time he assumed some responsibility! And besides, I have the Cakes checking in on them!”

Backing down instantly, Shining held his hooves up in defense. “Alright, alright, far be it for me to question how you’re raising him. Still, are you absolutely sure there was nopony else who could look after them full time?”

“I trust Spike to manage the library all the time, a few fillies he’s close friends with shouldn’t be much more responsibility,” she said, easing back into a smile. “Besides, they’re still in Ponyville, which is now the safest town in rural Equestria thanks to all the defenses Mayor Mare has been putting up since the last few…er…nation-threatening incidents. What could go wrong?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo sighed, slowly letting her breath out through her nose. The black paint under her eyes still felt cool to her skin, glistening in her fur.

Okay, alright, stay calm, she reminded herself. You’re nervous, but that’s okay. Nopony’s gonna judge you. Just do your best.

In truth, she’d only ever participated in this ritual once before, and even then as just a casual observer. They’d only dreamt up the rites for welcoming a new Crusader into their ranks a few weeks after she had met Sweetie and Applebloom, and even then they’d only done it once for real, to welcome AB’s cousin into their midst. Applebloom had, of course, held the honor of heading that little ritual. Now, it was her turn.

Summoning all her courage, she turned to the young drake with as hard a glare as she could muster. “Spike of Ponyville,” she bellowed, her raspy voice thundering from her tiny frame. “You have been instructed in the ancient rites of CeeEmmCee, do you understand the instructions given to you?”

Spike gulped despite himself and shivered; his shaking calming after a hoof fell on his shoulder. He squeezed it without thinking, knowing from the white coat that it was just his marefriend, trying to keep him calm. He turned and grinned cheekily at her, and Sweetie Belle smiled right back.

Nodding with approval, Scootaloo turned her attention to the other two fillies. “Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, as already-drafted members you are here to participate in the ancient chant meant to keep our young friend’s spirits up during this test. It is up to you to give him as much encouragement as you can, lest he stumble and fall. Do you understand the chant and its purpose?”

The fillies both nodded. Sweetie’s hoof tightened on Spike’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help but squeeze right back, easing up when a little squeak rose from her. “Sorry,” he whispered, retracting his claws.

Nodding again, Scootaloo lowered her gaze on the dragon, meeting the slit-pupil in his eye. He returned the glare, though he did take a step back unintentionally. For a second, it appeared to him as though she were a full-grown mare glaring down at him for something he’d done wrong, though in actuality she had maybe just an inch or two on him and they were about the same age.

“This ritual has been performed since the beginning of the Crusaders,” she said. “Since before the rise of the changelings, since before the release of Discord, since before old mare Thatherston’s knee gave out that one time in the garden…”

“Actually, we all met after that,” Applebloom pointed out.

“Um, what?” Scootaloo asked, her train of thought derailing. “No, no, that was last spring, remember? That would make it just a few months.”

“No, you’re thinkin’ ‘bout the spring before that,” Applebloom insisted. “I remember that was the same year as the buffalo stampede through Manehattan, which was a couple years ago.”

“Nuh-uh! It was the same year as the rise of the super-intelligent manticore-eating flowers, which was just last year!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah, hu…”

“Girls!” Sweetie screeched, popping up between the two to split them up. “In case you forgot, we’re here for Spike right now?”

The fillies blinked in surprise, then turned to the young drake waiting patiently behind them. “Oh, right,” Applebloom said, her eyes sinking to the floor. “We’re awful sorry, Spike, we jus’ got caught up.”

“Eh, it’s alright,” he said. “Can we just get this over with? I still got chores to do.”

“What? Twilight’s gone, how do you have chores?” Sweetie pointed out.

“You really think she would have left without leaving an itemized list, laminated and in triplicate?” He asked, pulling out a scroll that promptly unrolled until it stretched past the Crusaders, across the library floor, and out the door.

Scootaloo craned her neck to look the list over. “ ‘Don’t forget to breath’?” She read aloud. “Seriously?”

“Twilight is…thorough,” Spike said with a sheepish shrug.

“Yeah, the word you’re lookin’ for is ‘crazy,’ “ she muttered.

“Hey! That’s my sister you’re…”

“Guys!?” Sweetie Belle shouted, stomping a hoof and glaring at the pair.

“Right, sorry Sweets,” both ponies said, though the meaning behind each of their use of the nickname was massively different.

Nodding, Sweetie resumed her place at Spike’s side, replacing her hoof in his claws. Dating for two months and she already has him wrapped around her hoof, Scootaloo thought with a shake of her head. Obviously, the small white filly had inherited her sister’s ability to twist any stallion’s will around, throw it over her shoulder, and call it hers. Scootaloo wasn’t sure if she should be jealous, concerned for Spike, or just impressed.

“As I was sayin’ before being rudely interrupted,” she said, glaring at Applebloom, who glared right back but kept her muzzle shut. “Spike, this great and ancient ritual has been handed down through the ages of…uh…last February, I’d say. Know that upon completion, you will take another step on the long road to full mare…uh…dragonhood. This will forever change your view of the world, as you will begin to see the world through the eyes of an adult, not through those of a child. Are you ready?”

Spike blinked a few times. “Wow. Epic speech, guys,” he said.

“Thanks. Took me a whole week to come up with it.”

“And I am ready,” he said, giving Sweetie’s hoof one last squeeze before releasing it.

“Then let us begin,” the filly said solemnly, producing a mug of frothing liquid from Celestia-knows-where and handing it to the baby dragon. Spike inhaled, exhaled, and pressed the mug to his lips, beginning to drink.

“Chug,” the Crusaders started, beating their hooves against the ground in time with their voices. “Chug. Chug. Chug chug chug chug chug chugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchug…”

Before long, Spike had upended the entire mug down his muzzle and slammed it to the ground, wiping his lips. The others stared at him expectedly. He smiled and hiccupped. “I love root beer.”

“WOOOOH!” The three ponies screamed, Sweetie heading in for a kiss while Applebloom clapped him on the back. “Y’did it, Spikey!” Sweetie gasped, beaming proudly as they shared the quick kiss.

“Yeah, I…” suddenly, Spike hiccupped again, something welling inside of him.

“Spikey?” Sweetie asked, running a hoof along his chin. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I think I’m…hnngh…” he moaned, running his talons over his tummy and pressing a hand tight over his mouth.

“Oh man! He’s gonna be sick!” Scootaloo beamed, grabbing a yellow hat and raincoat and leaning forward in anticipation.

“Spahke! Say somethin’!” Applebloom gasped.

The dragon swayed unsteadily on his feet, still clenching his tummy. The mug fell from his hands and clattered to the floor as he collapsed to his knees, still groaning. Panicked cries of “Give him some air!” and “Somepony help him!” filled the room. With a final groan, Spike fell on his back, his tongue lolling out.

The others quickly surrounded him, Sweetie frantically grabbing his shoulders and shaking. “Spike! Please, say something!” She begged.

The only warning she got for what was coming was a sudden twitch in his throat, followed by a soft roar building from somewhere deep in his gullet. In an instant, he jolted upright and let loose with a mighty belch, rumbling the windows as his breath ignited, turning the burp into a flamethrower. “DUCK AND COVER!” Applebloom screamed, grabbing her screaming friends and leaping for safety behind an overturned desk like a war hero pulling his comrades to safety. Green flames curled out the baby dragon’s mouth and enveloped the library, sending scorching walls of fire and embers right over the other’s heads. Over the next few seconds, half of Twilight’s copy of The Encyclopedia Equestria, an end table, a cheap flower vase, and Applebloom’s bow had all been enveloped and teleported to Canterlot.

With one last poof, the belch ended and Spike dropped to his stomach, rolling over onto his back with a little moan. A few seconds passed, and suddenly he bolted upright and let out one little burp, a scroll materializing from the flames. Recognizing it as Celestia’s personal stationary, he quickly unrolled it and scanned its contents: Stomach trouble?

Still groaning, he penned in a quick Yeah and sent the scroll back just as the dog and ponies cautiously poked their heads out, taking in the destruction.

Scootaloo poked her head out, a grin on her face so wide that anypony could count her molars with just one look at her. “Now that was a man-sized burp!”

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Shaking off the feeling that somepony somewhere was doing something dangerously irresponsible, Twilight turned back to her brother and his wife. “Anyway, I have each of your days itemized and planned out to produce the maximum possible output by sunset. Just keep to these schedules and you two should have no problem tackling the day’s workload!”

Shining Armor arched an eyebrow as he scanned the massive, itemized, and painstakingly-detailed scroll trailing by his hooves. “Hold on, I thought the whole reason you came to the Crystal Empire was to help us with all this stuff!”

“Well, there’s been a change of plans,” Twilight said with a sheepish smile. “Last night, Princess Celestia sent me an urgent message saying Princess Luna would be arriving in the Empire soon, and that me and my friends ought to keep her company.”

“WHAT!?” Shining barked. “For Equestria’s sake, we’re the rulers of the Empire! Why wouldn’t she tell us that Canterlot royalty was on its way!?”

“I’m sure she just assumed Twily would let it slip on her own,” Cadence replied, nuzzling her husband. “She can be quite wise when it comes to predicting the actions of other ponies.”

“And besides, how much help did you really think Pinkie and Rainbow were going to be with the paperwork?” Twilight asked with a knowing smile. “Wouldn’t they be better placed on the streets, keeping ponies’ spirits up and ensuring the Crystal Heart remains charged?”

Shining grimaced. Twilight had just logic-ninja’d him again. He hated when she did that. “Fine,” he sighed, rolling up the scroll. “Still, I’m a bit insulted that Princess Celestia went to my sister with this, rather than the crown prince and princess of the Empire!

Suddenly, the door burst open again (Shining made a mental note to add a rubber stopper to its handle: it was already starting to leave a hole in the wall). “Your majesties!” A crystal pony guard gasped, his hide shimmering as he bowed before the royal couple and held a small scroll up to them. “I have an urgent message from Canterlot!”

Curious, Shining broke the wax seal over the scroll and quickly unrolled it, scanning its contents, his eyes widening. “Well then…” he mused.

“Sweetheart?”

“BBBFF?”

“It’s an official communique from Celestia herself informing us that Princess Luna will be taking a small vacation in the Crystal Empire and should be arriving shortly,” he replied, eyebrows up in his hairline as he rolled the scroll back up and tossed it over his shoulder. “Right when I was fuming about it too.”

Cadence arched an eyebrow at him. “You don’t suppose…”

“No, no, that’s ridiculous. Nopony’s that good at predicting others. This has to be a coincidence,” Shining replied, but his tone was unsure. He turned to his sister, the one pony who knew Celestia better than anyone in Equestria (besides, perhaps, Luna herself). “Right?”

Twilight just smiled knowingly as she cantered out the door. “Like Cadence said: she can be quite wise when it comes to predicting the actions of others. I’m gonna get the girls so we can greet the Princess together."

Author's Notes:

Woot! I know it's been a while guys, for everyone reading this, sorry! I've been trying to focus on "Setting Things Right," that one has needed quite a bit of work. But for all you who've been following this story from the beginning, you might recognize this as a rewrite of a chapter from the original version. If so, give yourself a pat on the back! Nice waahnnn! We're approaching the point where I've got less rewriting and more posting to do, so hopefully, I should be able to post more chapters.

In other news, my pre-reader, the wonderful DJK, has sadly told me he can no longer provide his services :( Anybody wanna take the job?

Chapter VII: Bad Dreams

3 WEEKS LATER

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Luna lowered her gaze from her beloved stars to her even-more beloved subjects. Her announcement that Nightmare Night was to be replaced with a glorious feast just completed, she scanned the ponies around her, fully expecting a round of applause any minute now…any minute…

“Did you hear that, everypony!? Nightmare Moon’s gonna feast on us!”

“WWAAHHHHHHHH!”

Luna dropped back to all fours as panicked screams echoed all around her, immediately switching to damage control: “What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!!”

Okay, this looked bad, but not something she couldn’t rein in. She just had to make a few gestures, talk up the local bigwigs, give them a chance to schmooze up to her, and all would be well, right? At least, that had worked in the past whenever she’d committed some sort of social faux pas.

Spying the mayor, the night-blue Alicorn strode up to her and offered her hoof. “Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived!” She bellowed in her familiar Canterlot tone.

But the mayor didn’t even look up at her. She didn’t bow, kiss the hoof, or do any of the things ponies had done for her the hundreds of times she had met up with them. Instead, the smaller mare remained curled up in a little ball, shivering fearfully.

Her heart plummeting into her guts, Luna repeated the motion, offering her hoof up to the next pony closest to her, then another. The reactions were all the same. Quivering bodies, gasps of fear, hooves clamped firmly over eyes. It wasn’t Princess Luna they saw, she realized, but the Nightmare that had haunted their dreams for the past thousand years.

“What is the matter with you?” She bellowed, managing to keep the pleading tone out of her voice with years of practice and breeding. “Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.”

She turned away from the townsponies with a “hmph!” and her snout in the air, remaining proud and tall, not revealing the icicle of pain shooting through her heart, not allowing a single one of the tears welling up in her eyes to reveal themselves, not portraying a single shred of the emotional turmoil wrenching her insides as she trotted away with the realization that nothing had changed. She was finally free of the moon, but she was just as alone as when she’d first been locked away. She still wasn’t seen as the beloved princess that her sister was. Worse yet, she was feared, even further away from ever knowing the adoration that her sister knew, the praise, the accolades…

...the love…

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“Princess Luna?”

“Hmm?” The Princess of Night opened her eyes in surprise, the memory dashed away by the rising sun. The royal guard poking his head into her carriage arched an eyebrow at her.

“We’ve arrived, Princess,” he said.

“Ah, yes,” she pulled herself off the plush seat and waved the guard on. He nodded and returned to his posting, allowing the doorpony to hold the carriage door open for her. She sighed and gazed upwards as she took her first steps outside after nearly half a day’s travel. The great spires of the Crystal Empire gleamed down at her, shimmering in the sunlight. Crystal ponies trotted by in the shadow of the portcullis, some staring wide-eyed at the sight of a Princess in their city, most simply trotting and galloping past, too occupied with their own business to even spare a quick glance.

As beautiful as the Empire was, it did little to improve her mood. Old memories of ponies running and cowering in fear (and for good reason, perhaps) had a funny way of doing that. Sure, she understood. It took time to overcome a thousand years of rumors and dark bedtime stories. Still, that didn’t change the hurt.

She scowled at the realization that the old pain was rising up again. She was a Princess of Equestria, for pity’s sake! She had faced down the worst villains her world had to offer, battles now in the history books were still fresh in her mind! Of course, that didn’t stop the ache in her heart, no matter how she tried to ignore it. It was even starting to show in her work: the moon’s rise was a bit more ragged with each passing day, and the stars came out with a jolting start, rather than their usual, slow twinkle. It didn’t take a shrink to figure out why.

Perhaps Tia was right, she mused. This vacation should do us some good, and mayhap we might even find the chance to do battle with yon bugs at some point! That would be nice, a good old-fashioned medieval clash of magic and swords might just be what the doctor ordered. Who needs therapy when one can just crush a few skulls?

“Princess!” A familiar voice rang out over the crowd. Luna couldn’t help but smile at it, genuinely happy to hear it again.

“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna embraced the little unicorn as she threw herself into her regal hooves. “So good to see you again.”

“And you, Princess,” Twilight said happily as her friends all trotted up behind her. Luna sighed with relief as all the old fear she once saw in their eyes failed to present itself. Even the little yellow pegasus stared up at her warmly, actually happy to see her, where just a few months before she could barely even meet the lunar ruler’s eyes.

“Celestia said you’d be coming, so I wanted to be the first to welcome you to the Crystal Empire!” Twilight announced as she pulled herself out of Luna’s hooves.

Luna’s smile deepened. She could see how this one, simple unicorn could hold such a close place in her sister’s heart. Twilight had been the one to give her a chance when no other pony would; giving Luna the tiny opening she needed to begin her reintegration into society. Still, it would be a long, hard road, and there remained ponies that looked over their shoulders at her with whispers of “Nightmare Moon” on their lips, but at least a few ponies had started to see a loving princess where before they’d only seen the wretched beast of their childhood nightmares. To think, all it took was a bit of love from a single unicorn with an open heart.

Oy, did she really just think that? Maybe she needed this vacation more than she thought. Who knew she could be such a sap!?

“C’mon!” Twilight took the Princess's hoof and started to drag her towards the Empire’s gates, watched over by a full platoon of crystal pony guards. “There’s so much to show you!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash, one of Twilight’s friends that Luna recognized as the little trickster from Nightmare Night, swooped into view. “You won’t be too busy with royal business to do a little sightseeing, right?”

“Right,” Luna said, a massive smile on her face. A little sightseeing sounded excellent just then. Around her, the six Element Bearers started on about the things they were going to eat and the views they were gonna check out and all the wonderful things there were to see in the Empire. At least, that’s what everyone but the pink one was talking about. Pinkie was going so fast she might have been recounting the signing of the Magna Carta for all Luna knew. A contented smile spread across Luna’s face. This week sounded like it would be a nice, long, and boring way for her to forget her troubles a little while and maybe do a little good for Equestria.

After all, between the Crystal Heart, Cadence and Shining Armor, and all six of the Elements of Harmony all in one spot, what could go wrong?

Luna frowned at that thought. Okay, perhaps she would keep an eye out. Just in case.

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"Mama…"

The tired, bleak eyes of the aging mare before her rolled over to lock with her own, focusing for just an extra minute, as if even that was a serious strain for her. A quivering smile formed on those cracked lips, and for the first time since this whole ordeal began, Chyrsalis understood true fear. These were not the strong, loving eyes she had grown up with. These were…something else. Something resigned. The changeling princess gripped her queen’s hoof, tears rolling down her cheeks as she nuzzled it. “Mama…”

“My dearest little Chrysalis,” the Queen said, her voice like sandpaper being rubbed against itself. She stroked a hoof through the filly’s mane, letting the short tendrils of teal hair pass through the holes on her legs. “What is it? Tell your mama what has you so upset?”

Chrysalis could only sniffle and cuddle the hoof, her lip quivering.

“I know, hon, I know,” the older mare whispered, her voice harsh. “Come here.”

With a few shaky gasps, Chrysalis clambered up onto the bed, lying next to the dying mare, grateful they could be alone. The doctors were gone. They had done all they could, it was obvious now that the only thing that could be done was make her comfortable. The end was coming, when it would really depended on her resilience.

Chrysalis hugged her Queen and squeezed with all the might in her little body, as if she could keep her here if she tried hard enough. She sniffled. Even her little, filly mind could tell what was coming. Could anyling really be long for this world with a shell so gray? Or chitin so cracked? Or a grip so weak?

Still, the little filly in her refused to believe this was happening, still refused to accept the reality of what was happening, still thought that if she asked nice enough the grown-ups would fix this, because grown-ups could fix anything if you asked nice enough. “Don’t go, please,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“And I love you, my little Princess. And so does your daddy, even though he doesn’t act like it sometimes,” the mare said.

“Then why isn’t he here!?” Chrysalis bellowed. “If he loved you, he’d be right here, fixing this! Making you better!”

The mare squeezed her, holding her tight against her chest. “Your daddy is a busy stallion, Chrissy. He can’t be at the hive all the time.”

“He isn’t at the hive ever!” Chrysalis sobbed. “That’s why you can’t go, mama! If you go, I’ll be all alone, and I don’t wanna be all alone!”

The mare sighed; a low, trembling noise that reminded Chrysalis of the wind through one of the abandoned caverns she would explore in the kingdom’s border regions. Those places which had once held life, but now only held roosting bats, the occasional Ursa, and cracked silverware or abandoned hatchling pods: ghosts of what had once been. Hearing that sound from her mother’s throat sent shivering sobs through Chrysalis’s tiny body.

“Chrissy? You need to listen now, this is very important.” Chrysalis obeyed, lifting her head off her mother’s chest and meeting her gaze, ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart at the glazed, vacant look in her eyes. This was not the sort of look mama was supposed to have in her eyes. Mama was supposed to look strong and determined, or soft and loving, but not like this. Not like the old changelings in the retirement caverns when they knew their time could be measured in hours.

“You have to be brave now, Chrissy, okay? You know your responsibilities as a princess. Daddy will…” the Queen gave another empty, gasping sigh that rattled her chest beneath Chrysalis’s hooves in a way that terrified her, but she continued. “Daddy will try, but you’ll still have to be brave for him, okay? Can you do that? Be brave for me and daddy?”

Chrysalis sniffled, but nodded, laying her chin on her mother’s barrel as the hoof continued to stroke her mane. “I just don’t wanna be alone, mama. I don’t wanna be alone.”

At that, the mare did something Chrysalis never expected anyling in her position to even be capable of: she smiled. Not just that hollowed-out smile Chrysalis had gotten used to ever since her mama had been put in this bed either, but a genuine smile that for a moment lit up her face. For that wonderful moment, she looked like the powerful, invulnerable mare Chrysalis remembered, and the filly’s heart leapt at the sight. “Someday, my princess, you will meet someone who will make you feel like the stars were something they wove together just for you,” she whispered. Then the moment ended, and that tired look entered her eyes again.

Chrysalis let out a sob and hugged her mama closer, her little forelegs squeezing, trying desperately to hold on, to keep the older mare here, and most of all, to not let her go, no matter what might happen, no matter the weakening breath in the mare or her rapidly vacating eyes or the newcomer at the door calling over and over: “My Queen? My Queen…”

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“My Queen?”

“What?” Chrysalis’s eyes darted open just as one of her subjects poked his little face into the cavern.

“We are ready, your highness,” the changeling said.

“Ah, yes,” she rose to her hooves, which quaked from hours spent crossed under her body. Her steps echoed in the massive cavern as she strode towards the entrance. She tried to grin wickedly along the way, like she usually did, but something inside her kept trying to turn the grin into a sob, and she couldn’t tolerate that. The changeling nodded and happily flitted away to alert his brothers and sisters to her approach, leaving her alone in the small cavern.

Alone. Always alone. She shook her head and cursed herself. “That was years ago, Chrysalis, get a grip,” she snarled, the image of that beautiful mare lying on her death bed playing itself over and over in her head. Why was that damnable memory rising up now!? Something to do with the cold, or the Crystal Heart? She pondered that, or maybe…

She paused, tallying up the years in her head. After a few moments, she nodded. “Yep, a hundred years to the day,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Happy death-day, mother.”

She turned to one of her reflections in the crystal cavern, looking herself over with her mother’s final words echoing in her head. Though she was quite beautiful by changeling standards, she knew what Equestria saw: a monster, a wretched thing that needed to hide behind masks just to walk their streets. A thing that fed on love like some kind of vampire, stealing it away, which was ridiculous! Love was to changelings what the sun was to a blade of grass! Did the sun dim because the grass fed on it!? Of course not! It was just another rumor spread by those little, xenophobic…

She sneered. Yes, there we go. There was the anger she needed!

“Your Highness?” The changeling poked his head out at her again.

“Coming,” she hissed, stalking out of the caverns like the apex predator she knew she was. Yep, an invasion of Equestrian territory was just what the doctor ordered. She couldn’t do Canterlot again, of course, the city was almost certainly still fortified from her attack on the royal wedding. She would need someplace with fewer defenses, someplace that might just be recovering from a crisis all its own. The Crystal Empire fit the bill perfectly. As the latest addition to Equestria, its defenses were low, still recovering from a thousand years’ isolation and ex-King Sombra’s siege. Better yet, it was far enough from the rest of Equestria that she knew any response from Canterlot would be delayed, giving her time to consolidate her grip on the city and set up defenses. Then her infiltrators had returned with news that the Elements of Harmony were vacationing in the Empire, and that the Princess of Night would soon be joining them, and immediately it became too tempting a target to resist. Especially with the plan she had.

She remembered the day of Sombra’s defeat, watching pure, crystallized love radiate from the city, and yet when it washed over her…oh, the taste! The strength! And hey, her shell didn’t look so bad crystallized! It was pure luck that she’d been strolling through the frozen wastes, curious to see the so-called “city of crystal” for herself. And after a little bit of research into the Empire’s history, she suddenly had it: a total game-changer. A weapon charged with the love of an entire city. And with that under her wing, what could stop her?

Plans were drawn up, soldiers mobilized, infiltrators were sent to spy on every level of the crystal ponies’ society, and the Elements were monitored. Now, as she stood before her people, an army gathered in the middle of a humongous cavern, ready to burst up right beneath the crystal pony’s hooves, she knew everything was about to come to fruition. She knew she was about to exact her revenge upon everypony that had ruined her plans before, from that infuriating Twilight Sparkle to the couple who’s love magic had last thrown her out of Canterlot.

Oh yeah, there we go! There was the fire she needed! As she gazed out over the crowd of changelings looking up at her expectantly, she grinned. They all grinned right back. Her high generals stood in the front, one holding a half-eaten maggot from the Hive, his mouth hanging open in awe. Every changeling beneath her believed in every one of their little black hearts that she was about to say something incredible, something awe-inspiring. She aimed not to disappoint.

Suddenly, Chrysalis hunched her shoulders, letting a tired sigh pass by her lips. The changelings looked on in confusion, staring at her, then at each other. Only the older veterans shared a knowing grin. They recognized this old ploy, though Chrysalis hadn’t used it in a while.

“I’m sorry, my changelings,” she rasped. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.”

A few moments of silence passed, during which some of the braver in the crowd called up a few sympathetic chirps. Chrysalis sat on her haunches, her shoulders rolled forward, allowing the whispers to reach a fever pitch in the crowd.

“I don’t know, my changelings, perhaps we should just go home,” she sighed, turning as if to trot out the cavern again. “Perhaps we should learn when we’re beaten. Perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel and let the ponies have their light.”

A few shocked cries made their rounds through the crowd. Most of the changelings just sat there, dumbfounded. Some even fell over in place, barely able to support themselves in their shock. Finally, one voice cried out: “NO!”

Chrysalis’s ear perked. She kept her head bowed to disguise the grin cracking across her face. That had been just what she was waiting for. “Do I hear a ‘no’?” She asked, facing the crowd again. “So…you want to try again, my changelings?”

A decently-sized group of “yeahs” filled the cavern, a few of the changelings wearing the sorts of smiles you only saw on a creature hyped and ready for battle, made all the more intimidating by their gleaming, sharpened fangs.

“So…you think a species that has predated upon the ponies for centuries has a chance at winning the day?”

More enthusiastic yells, with a few whoops added in for good measure.

“So…you believe that the only kingdom in Equestria to remain free of Discord’s chaos during his breakout is destined for greatness!?” Her voice rose slightly, projecting enough to boom throughout the caverns.

More whoops, more whistles, and excited chittering from the greenest recruits.

“Then you believe that a nation which pre-dates Equestria and has continued to exist despite all the odds stacked against it can prevail in spite of past failures!?”

The cheers were accompanied with hoof-stomps this time, along with enthusiastic battle-cries which boomed off the walls.

She was screaming now, her voice carrying throughout the caverns with a power gained from years of experience. “Then you believe that when the dust has settled, it is the changelings that will rule all!? That the hardiest of species, not the friendliest, deserves to rule the world!?

The crowd went insane with cheers and yes’s. Chrysalis extended her hooves outward, basking in the rolling waves of rising testosterone, the feel of a thousand hoofbeats stamping together. It was intoxicating, and she still had to deliver the final blow.

And you believe with the right amount of love, with the love of an entire empire focused in one place, that species is capable of anything!?

“YEAAAAHHHHH!” The crowd bellowed as one. One heart. One voice. One beat. These moments were the ones she lived for. These were the times when it was only too wonderful to be the Queen of the Changelings.

“Then go!” She roared. “Go and show them we will not break and shatter, we will not journey off into the dark to lick our wounds and cry! Go and show them the might of a real apex predator!”

The sound of a thousand beating wings filled the air, a thousand beating hearts: the beautiful noise of a swarm on the wing, ready to overwhelm all that might stand in its way. She threw up her hooves and cackled amidst the wingbeats of her children, the changelings flooding into the air completely engulfing her. It was so wonderful, so perfect, so completely at her command, so…so…

You’d be so proud, mother…

Dammit, it just had to come out, didn’t it? Despite her best efforts, the thought she’d been fighting back had surfaced, and now there was nothing for it. She sneered angrily and retreated to her caverns as the first tears, the first of many, started rolling down her cheeks. She growled, angry at herself for still feeling this way. “Dammit, Chrysalis, that was years ago, get over it!” She roared at herself once she knew she was alone, and still the tears came.

Dear gods, whoever said time heals all wounds should have been beaten for their idiocy. No, all time did was scar the wounds over, make them hurt a little less, but still liable to open up again with the proper prodding. Of course, it certainly didn’t help that her mother’s death was only the beginning of those dark, terrible times…

“Shut up,” she whispered, her head cradled in her hooves. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

This was so wrong. She was Chrysalis, queen of the changelings! That scared little filly was gone! She just needed a few moments to remind herself of that, and she’d be right as rain! She’d be the Queen her changelings needed her to be…

Unfortunately, not every changeling was so willing to give her that time. High-General Chickit, for instance, watched his Queen’s back as she stifled another series of sobs, her shoulders heaving with the effort. “Just like your mother,” he whispered under his breath as he turned and trotted away to join his Praetorians. “Ah well, nothing for it now. You brought this on yourself, Chrysalis.”

Author's Notes:

Gyawd, yeah. I know it's been a while. I've had a half-dozen other stories distracting me guys, sorry, and I've had to balance that with work and working out.

That being said, special thanks go out to my new pre-readers: Blitzkrieg (don't let the Nazi-sounding name fool ya, he's a swell guy), duckboy416 (him too), VeeEight (who gets this month's Kildeez Badge of Literary Awesomeness for his input), and The Literary Lord (who is likewise a lovely fellow).

Chapter VIII: The Crystal Heart

The Crystal Heart shimmered in its own divine light, reflecting off the walls of the mammoth cavern buried deep beneath the Crystal Palace. It made for a spectacular show; the heart suspended in its own magic, sending little speckles of light glittering through the air. Of course, even the greatest light shows could get old after a while, which was why the crystal ponies standing guard at the cavern’s entrance had been bored almost to tears.

Guard Ajax slapped himself and straightened up as sleep threatened to overwhelm him again. It had been another sleepless night, what with the new foal in his house crying out every couple hours, and his partner was no help in staying awake. The little tyke really seemed to have a knack for sensing right when mommy and daddy were drifting off to start bawling for something. Worst yet, his partner was no help whatsoever.

“Dude, keep it together!” The other pony hissed.

“I’m trying, dangit!” Usually, Ajax might be able to tolerate his fellow guardspony’s scolding, but not today. Not after a night of trudging back and forth from that cursed crib setup along one wall of the master bedroom. Ten feet might not seem like such an unbelievably, retardedly long distance, but that was before he’d needed to walk it at three in the morning with a newborn’s cries in his ears.

“I’m just looking out for our jobs!” The other pony whispered angrily. “You do know there’s a hundred ponies out there just waiting for one of us palace guards to screw up so they can get off night patrol, right!?”

Ajax opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again when he realized how right his partner was. Being displaced for a thousand years hadn’t been all that kind to the Empire’s economy, even with the massive boom of tourists hoping to get a glimpse of the “long-lost City of Crystal.” Most jobs thriving in the city today were whatever had already been in place before its disappearance, and even some of those wound up being totally obsolete in this new Equestria, like the local witch-doctor and the blood-letter (and no, the threat of a voodoo curse on Princess Cadence’s royal hiney had done nothing to sway her opinion on witch-doctoring as a whole). All this meant that the only thing left for most ponies Ajax’s age was guard duty, and in these times of peace that meant either patrolling day in and day out in the bitter cold, or guarding one of the dozens of empty rooms contained within the Crystal Palace. Why Sombra had built so many rooms into the Palace when it was obvious nopony could possibly find use for them all was anypony’s guess, though it might have served as the perfect excuse to build more stairs.

“Cripes, I just wish there was something to do in here besides look at a big, shiny rock,” Ajax muttered.

“That ‘shiny rock’ is the only reason the Empire is finally free of that tyrant’s influence right now,” his partner scolded, and right on cue. Ajax grimaced, his teeth grinding, as the other pony prattled on. “What, don’t tell me you’re waxing nostalgic for the days of Sombra, are you?”

“No, no,” Ajax replied, trying to keep from just spitting the words out, as if hoping they might take form and smack his partner in the face. “But say whatcha will about the big, evil palooka; he knew how to keep the guards occupied.”

“Yeah,” the other pony sneered. “Torturing prisoners, stomping on little filly’s toys to feed on their misery, slaving away in the mines, I see what you mean. Never a dull moment, truly.”

“Okay, y’know what!?” Ajax barked. “I didn’t get any sleep at all last night, so couldja just can it!?”

“You wanta make me!?” The other pony dared.

“In fact,” Ajax threw down his spear and galloped up to the other pony, stopping just as their muzzles touched so he could glare into his eyes. “I think that’s just what I wanna do!”

The other pony glared, then closed his eyes and puckered his lips out, closing the gap between their muzzles with a kiss. Ajax took a couple steps back in surprise, gasped, and broke out in snickers. “Stop doing that when I’m trying to be serious!” He laughed.

“Oh, but you’re so cute when you’re surprised!” The other pony laughed, leaning against his spear. “Oy, that foal is gonna be the death of us.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to adopt!” Ajax said defensively. “’But Ajie! There are so many foals down at the orphanage and there’s this one with a little spot just over her eye that would be perfect for us!’ Those were your exact words!”

“Ah yes,” the other pony grinned, a hoof tracing around his lover’s chin. “And then I turned on the sad, widdle puppy dog eyes and you caved like the whipped little colt you are.”

“Hey, I’m a lot of things, sweets, but I’m not whipped!” Ajax said defiantly, pulling away.

“Bitch, please. I could get you to kamikaze Captain Armor himself with the sad widdle puppy dog eyes.”

“That’ll be the…”

A loud crash from the hallway interrupted the pair. Ajax quickly wheeled around to face the entryway. “Love, you better get your spear,” his lover whispered, grip tightening around his own. Nodding, Ajax scrambled for his weapon, knocking his helmet askew in the process. Whirling around to face the entryway, helmet barely hanging over one ear, Ajax gripped his spear so hard his hooves turned white around it. “And relax, please, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry sweets,” Ajax mumbled in reply, spear still raised. “What do you think that was?”

“We should check it out.”

“That we should.”

Still, it was another few minutes before Ajax worked up the courage to take the lead, spear held in one hoof and pointed forwards just like he’d been taught in what little training he had received. Slowly working his way forward, he called out: “Huh-who goes there?”

“So very intimidating,” his partner’s voice said behind him. “My hero.”

Ajax fought back the urge to grin as he repeated himself, louder and more confident this time. “Who goes there? We are guards of the Crystal Empire: come out now and make it easy on yourself!”

A few sniffles replied. The pair watched as a little filly stumbled in, tears in her big, green eyes and patches of dirt staining her lavender coat. “Ah, jeez,” Ajax mumbled, setting his spear down and galloping up to the filly and approaching her slowly and cautiously, like someone approaching a scared bunny.

“What’s a kid even doing down here?” His partner said, scratching his chin as he lowered his spear.

“I dunno,” Ajax whispered as he leaned closer to the filly. The foal’s eyes widened in fear and she sniffled pathetically, shying away from his hoof. “Aww, it’s okay sweetheart, we’re the good guys!”

“She kind of reminds you of Seraphim, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Ajax grinned at his adopted daughter’s name as the foal cautiously approached. “So how about it, beautiful: what’s somepony like you doing in a place like this?”

“Oh, you over-romantic sap! You got me with that exact same line!” The other pony laughed, slapping his knee with a hoof.

“I-I lost my daddy,” the filly sniffled, whimpering with a tiny, barely-audible voice. “H-he said he was j-just gonna be a minute, and then I saw something shiny and I went to see what it was but then I couldn’t find whereIwasandnowI’mlostand…and…” tears welled up in her eyes as she babbled.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay now, the Crystal Guard’s here,” Ajax wrapped the filly in a hug and led her towards the door. “Sweets, you wanna hold down the fort while I help this little one out?”

“Sure, but be back soon! You might miss out on all the excitement!”

“Har-de-har,” Ajax said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he escorted the filly into the hallway. Of course, he was so distracted by both concern for the child and his partner’s sarcastic comments that he never noticed the way one of the crystals in the hall’s roof didn’t shimmer like the rest of them, seeming to shift restlessly in the light. “Now, little miss, why don’t you tell me about your missing daddy?”

“Well,” the little filly stammered bashfully as they trotted along. “He’s a guard pony, just like you…”

“Mmh-hmm.”

“He’s pretty brave, just like you.”

“Well now,” Ajax blushed at the compliment, never even noticing the odd little patch of crystal behind his head suddenly shift and dangle downwards.

A malicious grin crossed the filly’s face, her eyes glowing green. “And he’s super gullible, just like you.”

“Wha-“ he managed to ask before a pair of black, hole-filled hooves smashed against the back of his skull, exposed thanks to the helmet still dangling off one ear. Ajax went down like a sack of potatoes: he never stood even a slim chance. Still grinning, the filly watched as the large changeling winked, then resumed his place, hidden in the ceiling. Once her partner was hidden once more, she cleared her throat and prepared herself.

“Mmh-hmm, me-me-me-me-me…okay…okay…” she hissed to herself in a strange, otherworldly voice, trying to focus. Satisfied that she was ready, she pointed a hoof at Ajax and let loose with an ungodly scream: “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The other guard tore around the corner in a panic, spear still in his hoof. “What’s happen-AJIE!” He rushed to his partner’s side, dropping his spear and cradling the fallen pony’s head in his hooves. “What happened!?”

“I-I dunno!” The filly gasped. “We were just talking about my dad, when suddenly this happened…” without another word, a craggy, black horn appeared in the middle of the filly’s forehead and nailed the remaining pony right on the noggin; not enough to wound him, but enough to knock his helmet askew, clearing the way for yet another sneak attack by the hidden changeling. The filly grinned wickedly as the second pony fell at her hooves.

“Nice one, Switch,” the false filly hissed.

“You too, Bait,” the large changeling nodded, his deep, gravelly voice echoing along the tomb-like walls of the cavern. He flicked a torn ear and peered around, one eye wheeling about while the blinded other remained fixed straight ahead. With a few cracks and pops, he rose to his full, impressive height. “I think you can come outta your disguise now.”

Without another word, the filly disappeared in a flash of green, and a smaller changeling stood in her place. He grinned, one of his fangs missing, at his partner. “Two guards? You’d think these ponies would guard their most valuable weapon a bit more carefully.”

“Just makes our job that much easier,” Switch replied, smirking as he threw the ponies against the wall and bent over them, securing their hooves and muzzles with a quick jet of goo from the tip of his horn.

“And hey, we’ve got something for the hive!” Bait said, jumping around enthusiastically like a filly on Hearth’s Warming morning. “A straight-up, romantic couple!”

“Yuh-yeah,” Switch stammered, shifting uncomfortably as he continued securing the ponies.

“Seriously though, are you feeling this!?” Bait ran up to the pair and took just the smallest sample of their love, draining it directly from Ajax. “This stuff is good! I mean, we might feed the entire hatchery on just…”

“Yeah, could we not?” Switch asked, disguising a light shudder that quivered through his insect-like wings, one of which sprawled lamely off to the side.

Bait cocked an eyebrow, or at least, he scrunched up the layer of chitin on his forehead where he would have eyebrows. “Why not? You want all this love to just go to waste?”

“I’m just not…comfortable with having all the hatchlings around these two, y’know?”

Bait’s jaw dropped. “Switch!”

“What?”

“That’s so insensitive!”

“Insen-Bait, you were just talking about serving these two up to the hive’s offspring!” Switch replied, tapping the unconscious head of one of the ponies for emphasis. “We’re a couple of emotion-feeding monsters, for Chrysalis's sake!”

“Yeah, but we don’t have to be homophobic jerks too! I mean, there’s villainy, and then there’s intolerance,” the smaller changeling harrumphed, turning away with his black hooves crossed over his narrow chest. “I swear, sometimes, I’m not sure I even know you anymore.”

“Oh, don’t start this again, not when we’re about to make an offering to the Queen.”

“Just when were you going to tell me you didn’t like gays!? That’s an important thing for us to talk about!”

“Why do we need to talk about it!? Why do you think we need to talk about every little thing!?”

“Because this is an important disparity in beliefs! What about Crash and Burn, hmm? What if I’d wanted to invite them over so we could all hang out together!?”

Switch repeated the forehead-chitin-scrunch thing, his one good eye visibly confused at the mention of the swarm’s token homosexual couple. “Since when do you know those two?”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT! The point is…”

“My loving subjects,” the beautiful, melodic tone of their Queen interrupted.

“Oh, your Highness!” The pair quickly pushed away from the bound guards and knelt at their Queen’s hooves, their heads bowed.

“My Queen,” Switch’s voice rumbled. “We have completed the task set before us and cleared all resistance from the chamber containing the Crystal Heart.”

“Excellent work, my servants,” Chrysalis intoned, smiling as she patted each Changeling on the head. The smile turned malicious as the buzzing of hundreds of insect-like wings filled the air in the cave. “You have the gratitude of the swarm.”

“There is more, my Queen: we present to you this pair of ponies that were guarding the Heart,” Bait glared at his partner. “And whose love is EVERY BIT as wonderful as any other couples’.”

Switch had never wanted the ability to kill someling with his mind more than he did right that very moment. As it was, he just had to satisfy himself with the thought of pummeling the smaller changeling later on, out of the Queen’s sight.

“Um…yes…” Chrysalis said, looking between the pair in confusion at the smaller changeling’s outburst. “That is…also excellent. They shall be taken to feed the Swarm immediately.”

“May I suggest the hatchery, my Queen? I’m sure they’ll serve as food for the young just as fine as any other pony.” Bait said, glaring at his partner and stamping his hoof with each word for emphasis.

Switch growled and glared back, focusing as much sheer effort as possible into picturing Bait’s head exploding. He’d never heard of someling killing another just by thinking about it hard enough, but damn if he didn’t want to try.

“Your…recommendations will be…taken into consideration…my servant,” Chrysalis said haltingly. There was obviously something going on here, but it was likely of a personal nature between the two. Best leave them to work it out on their own. “Well, with that accomplished, I should congratulate the two of you! Now go: join your brethren at the assigned place!”

“Yes, my Queen,” the pair replied before trotting off, Bait taking the form of a young unicorn stallion with a powder-blue coat and Switch choosing a beefier pony with a buzz-cut mane and chartreuse fur. As they trotted away, the Queen watched the larger pony bat the smaller upside the back of his head, and immediately the pair set to hissing at each other.

Chrysalis shook her head. “Two of the best infiltrators of the swarm, capable of a level of cooperation to take down any foe. Heaven help the changeling race.” She smiled as she turned away from the two, the sound of buzzing wings growing louder. It was, frankly, the most beautiful sound in the world to her, her swarm…

Well, there’s that, and also the inevitability of victory. Chrysalis turned back to the chamber, the Heart glowing in the center of the room. She grinned evilly as she trotted up to the heart, just spinning in mid-air before her. Love between two ponies can sustain a hive, love of family can fill a changeling’s belly, but the love of an entire Empire…

“I suppose I should thank you, Prince Shining Armor, for keeping the Crystal Heart charged in case of emergencies,” she cackled as a light-green stream materialized from the surface of the heart and latched onto her horn, her children crowding at the entranceway to watch as she began a quick drain of the power contained within. “After all, where else would I find this much love gathered in one place!?”

She threw her head back and let loose with one of her trademarked evil laughs, her swarm chittering excitedly at each other, readying themselves in caverns all around the city, the ponies above completely unaware that their greatest defense had just been turned against them.

Author's Notes:

So yeah, Switch is a homophobe...

Hey, don't give me that look! It was his dad, y'know? He's a great guy once you get to know him!

Chapter IX: Conquest Over Drinks

Princess Luna leaned back in her chair, sipping at the wonderful little drink the Element Bearers had just introduced her to...what did they call it again...ah yes, coffee! It was an ancient drink, lost to time, its recipe forgotten through the centuries. Just one of the benefits of having a giant time capsule land in one's own backyard, she thought, tilting her head back for another sip. Not that the rediscovery of some drink even began to make up for the thousands of ponies whose lives were uprooted by that wretched king (she refused to even think his name: he had tainted enough thoughts and dreams for her to spare him even that), but still, it had to count as a silver lining.

The sun warmed Luna’s face as she enjoyed her time there in the little café, its outdoor area proving far superior to the dingy, darkened little tavern that managed it all. Why, cold notwithstanding, it was amazing how somepony could choose the tiny grouping of tables and grimy bar inside over the quaint metal chairs outside. Then again, those ponies she had seen seemed like the type that might want as little light as possible on them, especially once the buzz kicked in. Well, to each his own, who was she to judge?

Sighing contentedly, the Princess looked up just as a pair of crystal ponies trotted by, chatting amicably. Luna’s night-blue eyes scanned along the sparkling streets and over the glittering store fronts, a few of which towered over the city with huge, crystalline spires perched on their rooftops. As she watched, one shop owner pulled the curtain back from his window, revealing shelves full of rock candy and sparkling sponge cakes (how the crystal ponies managed to transfer their love of hard little sparkly rocks into food was beyond everypony) as he threw a friendly wave to the pair trotting by. Luna smiled; it was so nice to see the Empire recovering. Her niece and nephew-in-law had truly been the right choices for ruling. Under them, perhaps the Empire did have a chance at reintegrating into Equestrian society!

And then she watched the shop owner suddenly scowl and flip his little sign back to "Closed", sliding the curtain over his window shut again. Confused, she scanned down the street, only finding an earth pony tourist trotting along with a camera around his neck. The pony, distracted by the gorgeous sights of the Empire, didn’t spare the closed shop a second glance. Once he rounded the corner, the shop owner peeked out his curtain after the pony, ensuring he was gone before flipping his sign back to "Open.”

Or perhaps not, Luna scowled. She had almost forgotten about that unfortunate part of ancient Equestrian society, but some of the crystal ponies apparently had not. She sipped at her coffee again, biting back her anger. She knew as a Canterlot princess, it really wasn't her business to meddle with the affairs of the Empire. Technically the city was a vassal state with its own guard and its own government to handle things like this, but ooh did she ever want to just swoop down onto that little shop owner's head and give him a blast of the good ol' Nightmare Moon act...

"Princess?" A timid voice asked.

Luna's head whipped around, her eyes locking on the bright, baby blues of the Element of Kindness. Oh shoot, she had almost completely forgotten she was here with other ponies! That was a thousand years of isolation for you. Taking another sip off her coffee, she pasted a big fake smile on her face. “It’s rather beautiful here, is it not?” Luna asked.

“Oh, just gorgeous,” the Element of Generosity replied. “Why, I’ve found inspiration for a dozen dresses just while we were sitting here!”

“Rarity,” Twilight said with a stern look in her eyes (which was hard to take seriously thanks to the mustache made of hayseed whiskey sour on her lip). “This is supposed to be a vacation for you, remember?”

“Oh but darlings, how can one relax when one is surrounded by so much beauty?”

Luna smiled again as she took another sip from her cup. They were such a wonderful group of ponies. She wondered why she’d tuned them out in the first place.

“So anywaaaaayy…” the Element of Laughter said, picking up where she’d left off while Luna daydreamed. “Like I said, I just can’t tell what my favorite tongue twister is: is it ‘Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers’? Or maybe it’s ‘She sells seashells by the seashore’? Ooh! Or how about…”

Oh, that's why, Luna sighed, taking a nice, long gulp from her cup just as the little pink mare suddenly stopped and gagged.

“Pinkie?” Twilight asked in concern. Pinkie’s jaw dropped, her tongue rolling out her mouth and onto the table, tied into an assortment of different knots. Luna watched everypony else at the table heave a quick sigh of relief. Obviously, she wasn’t the only one who could grow tired of their friend’s ranting.

“So…” Twilight mumbled, easing the tongue back into Pinkie’s mouth with her magic. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright, Princess?”

“Oh yes, we…we mean, I have been doing quite fine since you saw me last, Miss Twilight,” Luna replied happily. “Those letters on friendship have been quite the boon, they’ve offered a trove of knowledge for helping me reintegrate into Equestrian society.”

“I’m so glad!” Twilight beamed.

“Yes, it sounds like you’ve made quite a bit of progress since that wretched affair on Nightmare Night,” Rarity added, sipping her appletini.

“Heheh, yeah, Nightmare Night,” Luna sighed, recalling the image of ponies running in fear from the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Not that it was all that bad! I just meant…um…” Rarity ran a nervous hoof through her mane, complementing herself with a nice, big gulp from her drink. “My, these are good, aren’t they!?” She asked, desperate to change the subject.

Applejack took a sip of the appletini in front of her, grimaced, and immediately got up to head for the bar. “AJ, where you goin’?” Rainbow asked.

“T’give the bartender a piece a’ my mind!” The country pony replied, grim determination in her eyes. “Ah’ll be consarned if there’s ever been a real apple anywhere near this swill!”

“I think I’ll go with her,” Dash said, flapping after her friend. “If she gets into a fight with the bartender, she’ll need backup!”

Luna arched an eyebrow as the pair disappeared into the bar’s main building. “Is there really a chance that…”

“No, Princess, no! Of course not! They would never start a fight over something so petty!” Twilight said quickly, lifting her hayseed whiskey sour to her lips to hide a quick glance at the bar’s windows.

“Probably,” Rarity added out the corner of her mouth.

“We’re just happy to have you here with us, Princess,” Fluttershy said, speaking up again.

Luna felt warmth blossom in her chest at the way the little pegasus could look at her without the fear that had been present on Nightmare Night. “And I am happy to be here with you, my little ponies.”

“There, see? You’re getting it!” Twilight giggled. “Soon, ponies’ll be eating out of your hooves, just like with Celestia!”

Twilight realized her faux pas almost the moment it left her lips, though Luna did an incredible job of disguising the cringe it caused her. For the other ponies’ parts, they’d all seen Twilight’s slip of the tongue coming from miles away, but had been powerless to stop it. Even Rarity, the mare whose elegance turned heads at the stuffiest of Canterlot parties, choked on her martini and started waving her hooves like an air traffic controller at the Hindenburg disaster as the last of the words left Twilight’s mouth, though she’d regained her composure by the time Luna’s gaze finally left Twilight’s.

“Oh...gosh…” Twilight gasped. “Princess…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…I sometimes say things, I…”

“Think not on it, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna assured her with a smile that was just a couple notches below looking completely genuine. “We know what you meant, and completely understand.”

In the lull that followed, her beloved sister’s last words to her crossed Luna’s mind. She considered them thoughtfully, her eyebrows hunching (which, of course, looked like she was considering a royal beatdown to the other ponies at the table, who all promptly readied themselves for the mother of all tongue-whoopings). Finally satisfied with her thoughts, Luna took another sip from her coffee, now growing cold in the afternoon weather. “Say, you girls have experience with relationships, right?”

“Of course!” Rarity beamed, glad for the distraction from the tense atmosphere.

“Eh-hah!” Pinkie added, still trying to unravel her tongue and roll it up back into her mouth.

“Well…I think so…I mean, I’ve never been terribly good at making friends,” Fluttershy said with her trademarked shyness, her wings slumping downwards.

“We all have,” Twilight said, patting a reassuring hoof on the pegasus's shoulder. “And while I can’t say I have a whole lot of experience with friendship, I can say I have five of the best friends a mare could ever want!”

Luna nodded approvingly. “Actually, we…I’m sorry, I was thinking more along the lines of a…‘special somepony’, as I believe it is called these days.”

The table balked at that. Twilight gasped, promptly choking on a sip of her drink. “I…um…don’t think anypony here has much experience with that…sort of…relationship,” Rarity said awkwardly, patting her still-coughing friend on the back.

“You sure, Rares?” Pinkie asked brightly, having finally untangled her tongue. “I’ve been hearing things about you and that diamond dog that’s been coming around the boutique for…”

The unicorn promptly jammed a hoof into her friend’s mouth, glaring venom back at the pink mare. “Carnifax is a friend and a valued customer, but that is all, do you understand?” She asked through gritted teeth, her eyes blazing at the thought of the dog that had been visiting Ponyville more and more frequently for the fashionista’s services. If looks could kill, Pinkie would have been dead a dozen times over. As it was she just nodded, the bright smile still obvious in her eyes.

Rarity snorted and returned to her seat, guzzling down the rest of her appletini. When she saw the looks on the faces of everypony around her, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “I am a socially connected pony, darlings, I have heard the rumors. I’m just getting…fed-up with them, is all. Yes, Carnifax is a sweet dog, and a close friend, and a great helping paw around the Boutique every now and again, but…”

“But what?” Pinkie asked.

Rarity paused, seemed to think on that for a moment, then went for another sip of her drink, only to snort in annoyance when the bottom of an empty glass greeted her. “I need more drink,” she mumbled, before heading into the bar.

“But she thinks she needs more drink!?” Pinkie grumbled, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “What kinda answer is that!?”

“No Pinkie, she meant…” Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “Nevermind.”

An awkward silence descended over the table, only interrupted by the constant slurping noises from the Element of Laughter as she polished off her strawberry smoothie (with extra hot sauce, of course).

“You know what?” Twilight said quickly, pushing away from the table. “I think I’ll find out what’s taking Rainbow and Applejack so long.”

“TWILIGHT!” Pinkie gasped.

“Yes Pinkie, what is it now?” The lavender unicorn sighed, turning around as Rarity continued on into the bar.

Pinkie held a large, pink, wooden club covered in stickers and labeled “Partytime’s Over” out to her. “You might need this.”

“Um…” Twilight took the weapon up in her magic. “Thank you Pinkie, but why would I need…”

Before she could even finish her sentence, the bar’s door burst open and a stallion with a hoofmark indented across one of his eyes stumbled out, smashing through a table and destroying what had otherwise been a lovely dinner for a couple from Trottingham. “And that’s what happens to ponies who mess with the Elements of Harmony, you BRUTE!” Rarity shrieked from somewhere inside.

“Wooh! Go Rares!” Applejack’s voice chimed in, the sounds of breaking chairs, hooves smashing against faces, and shattering glass drifting out the door. As if to punctuate her statement, a stallion smashed his face against the plate-glass window, bouncing back with little tweety birds whistling around his head.

Twilight looked back to the others in absolute shock, eyes widening. She looked over as Pinkie Pie shoved her bat into her friend’s grip, merrily skipping back to her seat and urging her friend along with a wave of her hoof. Twilight sighed and mumbled a quick thanks before stepping into the bar, the bat still held tightly in her magic.

“Um, Princess?” Fluttershy asked. “Not to be rude or anything, but shouldn’t you do something?”

“That is a job for the Crystal Guard, I’m afraid,” Luna sighed, taking a frustrated sip from her drink. “The Crystal Empire may officially be a part of Equestria, but it’s been granted more autonomy than most other regions of the kingdom. We…I cannot intervene in any affairs of the Empire unless somepony’s life is in danger, or without the express permission of Prince Shining Armor or Princess Cadence.”

“Even if the Prince’s sister herself is in danger!?” Fluttershy gasped.

Just as she spoke, three more stallions sailed out the door and hit the sidewalk, their bodies covered in hoofmarks, bruises, and the tell-tale violet sparks of one of Twilight’s magical attacks. “Honestly, I’m more worried about anypony stupid enough to attack her,” Luna said, her eyebrows rising to meet up with her glowing hairline. “But I trust my sister’s protégé in employing proper restraint.”

“Gosh, that looks like fun,” Pinkie mused, her party cannon materializing at her side and giving a few growls.

“Don’t even think about it,” Luna said, her eyebrows retreating back down into a stern hunch. “At least one of Miss Sparkle’s friends needs to remain outside to bail them out when they’re all inevitably arrested.”

Pinkie glared at the bar’s entrance, but nodded slowly, stroking a hoof along the cannon’s barrel as it growled and snapped like a guard dog trying to break free of its master’s grip. Luna eyed the weapon curiously, but shrugged, knowing any question she might ask about the apparently-living cannon would be answered with something along the lines of “It’s Pinkie Pie.”

The trio remaining outside watched as a smallish unicorn stallion trotted right to the tavern’s doors and started to push them aside. “Ah, wait,” Fluttershy reached out a hoof.

The stallion cringed and turned to face her. A few beads of sweat collected on his forehead as he forced a smile onto his face. “Y-yes, miss?” He asked.

“You don’t really want to go in there, do you?” She asked timidly.

The stallion’s eyes widened, sweat literally drenching his forehead. “Wh-why wouldn’t I? I-it’s not like I’m up to anything or…”

“But you don’t wanna get pulled into that big fight going on inside, do you?”

“Wha-“ he started, turning back and actually taking a good look through the door. His jaw dropped at the sight of a purple unicorn physically picking somepony up and throwing him against a far wall while another mare launched into a spinning tornado kick that sent five thugs flying. “I-uh…wow. They’re even tougher than the Queen said.” He mumbled.

“What?” Fluttershy asked.

The wail of sirens from somewhere far off perked the pony’s ears up. “Nothing!” He said, grinning awkwardly with his hooves behind his back. “Nothing at all, miss! Just wondering if somepony’s called the Guard, is all!”

A few moments later, a full platoon of crystal ponies in armor came galloping around the corner, crowding into the narrow street like a biblical plague made entirely out of pony. “Jeez, look at them all!” Pinkie gasped, staring at the sea of bodies squeezing into the tiny road.

Celestia warned me they were overstaffed in the Crystal Guard, but this? Poor guys must have been just dying for something to do. Luna smiled and shook her head as she stood up out of her seat. “Girls, I believe it may be time for us to take our leave.”

“An excellent idea!” The unicorn stallion said suddenly, practically leaping away from the door, as if he expected the bar to explode behind him at any instant (and given Twilight’s track record, this might not have been an inaccurate assumption to make).

“I still think it sucks that we didn’t get to head in there like everypony else did,” Pinkie said despondently. Her cannon whimpered and nuzzled against her hoof until she took to stroking its muzzle reassuringly. “I know, boy, I know…we’ll get ‘em next time.”

“C’mon,” Luna said, shaking her head with a little smile as she led the trio of ponies to the barricade set up just outside the small dining area. “We best let the Guard do their jobs.”

The small group easily rounded the barricade and made its way into the mob of guards, where they were immediately grabbed and shoved roughly to the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. “Princess! Don’t worry! The Guard has the situation under control!” One of the guardsponies shouted.

“I’m not worried.” Luna replied flatly.

Everything is under control!” The pony repeated in a loud and clear manner. Behind him, a group of crystal ponies leapt the makeshift barricade and crowded around the bar’s door, readying themselves to breach it and clear the interior as if the place was filled with heavily-armed terrorists, rather than drunken morons. “Just remain calm!

“We are calm! You’re the one who’s yelling!” Luna shouted back, her voice edging dangerously close to “Royal Canterlot” levels. Usually, she prided herself in her ability to maintain self-control no matter the situation, but as it was, Fluttershy was hyperventilating into a paper bag and this idiot wasn’t helping.

I repeat, you must…

“WE ARE CALM YOU BLITHERING…” Luna paused, collected herself, pulling off a few breathing exercises. Within moments, her calm and cool demeanor returned. She frowned down at the guard in that haughty, high-and-mighty way she had been trained to use from birth, rearing up to her full, impressive height. “Guard, we are calm. In fact you should see that I, as a Princess of Equestria, have all the capabilities required to maintain control of a civilian populace.”

The guard took a step back, his ears folding down beneath his helmet. “Perhaps, but…”

“This group here does qualify as a civilian populace, does it not?” She asked, pointing to the pair on the sidewalk with her.

“Of course, but…”

“Then are you questioning the abilities of a visiting Princess? A pony of true royal blood who was dispatched by the high courts of Canterlot itself and invited with open arms by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor themselves?” She asked, closing the distance between them just enough to absolutely tower over the now-terrified guard.

“N-no…” he whimpered.

She glared down at him. “Then don’t you think your talents would be put to better use elsewhere?”

“Ye-yes, Princess, right away,” the pony said, slinking back into the wall of guards with his tail between his legs.

“Wow, Princess!” Luna turned as Pinkie gazed up at her, eyes wide. Luna’s ears folded into her mane. Had she just ruined everything she’d worked so hard to build up with the rest of the Elements? “That was awesome!” Pinkie said, instantly allaying all of Luna’s fears.

“Th-you really think so?” Luna asked bashfully.

“Oh, yeah, even Fluttershy thinks so!” Pinkie patted a hoof on the little yellow pegasus's shoulder, who paused in her dry-heaving just long enough to nod.

“Well, it only makes sense that the old ways would still work in a city that has been displaced for the past millennium,” Luna said, chest thrusting out with pride over the small victory. “Or…wait…hold on, weren’t there three of you?”

“Um…” Pinkie pulled a quick headcount. “Hey, yeah! Where’d that stallion go?”

Luna frowned, immediately turning back towards the crowd of guards. “You there! Guard!” She barked, pointing to a random pony.

The stallion turned to her, looked side to side, then pointed a hoof at himself and mouthed, “Me?”

“Yes, you! There was a stallion with us! Powder-blue coat! Unicorn! Find ‘im!”

“Y-yes, ma’am!” The guard said, skittering away.

Pinkie watched as the guard immediately set to the task set before him, dashing off with the same sort of zeal as Rainbow Dash discovering Applejack was handing out free samples of cider. “Wow, Princess, it’s so nice that you care for your subjects so much that you’d send a bunch of guards to find them on a whim!”

“Perhaps,” Luna said, scrunching up her eyebrows as she watched the guardspony work. “However, there was something of an ulterior motive in our actions.”

“Hmm?”

“Did that pony not seem…skittish, to thee?” Luna asked, concern obvious on her face.

“Well Princess, no offense, but you are pretty intimidating!” Pinkie giggled.

“Yes,” Luna nodded. “Yes, perhaps that is it.” Luna was too distracted to feel any of the old pain at having intimidated yet another pony. Something nagged at the corner of her mind as she surveyed the crowd: that unicorn had been far too eager to get away once he’d heard the sound of the Royal Guard’s approach. And looking over her memory of the brief moment she’d seen him in front of that door, was that a green flash she’d seen? Or just the sun reflecting off one of the dozens of buildings towering above her? Her frown deepened. ’Twas probably nothing…but we’ll find out for sure soon enough.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The unicorn tip-hoofed along the alleyway between stores, avoiding puddles and bits of garbage, or anything that might make a noise that would give him away. He knew it was ridiculous to think anyone in the massive crowd he’d left a few blocks back could hear anything going on in this little back alley, but still, he wasn’t one of Chrysalis's top infiltrators for nothing.

Looking around, he let out a sigh of relief. Absolutely nopony around. He was scot-free. He tilted his head back and sniffed the air. He smiled: it smelt like victory. Well, mostly the overflowing dumpsters surrounding him, but victory was definitely in there too.

“You plant the spell?” A voice rumbled from behind a dumpster.

The unicorn grinned maliciously. “Switch, please. Did you honestly think I couldn’t handle this?”

“I dunno,” the larger stallion smirked, striding out in front of his partner. “You looked ready to wet yourself and high-tail it outta there when that pretty little pony pointed you out.”

“That ‘pretty little pony’ happens to be one of the Elements of Harmony,” Bait scowled. “AND she was sitting right next to the Princess of Night! A princess who, up until a few years ago, was a horrible monster capable of plunging the world into eternal darkness!”

“You’re a changeling!?” A tiny voice gasped, interrupting him.

Recognizing it as the Element of Kindness, Bait immediately ducked and covered his eyes with his hooves. “Take the big one, leave me alone!” He cried.

He opened his eyes again a few moments later to see Switch smirking down at him. “Gosh, you scare easy,” he said in Fluttershy’s soft, little voice.

“Oh, screw you too,” Bait grumbled, pushing himself back up to his hooves. “I swear, if it was you out there you would’ve wet yourself the moment she so much as glanced your way.”

“Doubtful,” Switch replied in his natural, hissing, layered voice. “Although you at least managed to keep you terror-piss in long enough to seal the spell, so kudos to you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” for the first time, Bait allowed a wicked grin to cross his face. “So, mission success?”

“Absolutely,” the evil grin proved infectious as it took over Switch’s features as well. “The Elements of Harmony are divided, and now…”

“…nothing will stop us,” Bait completed for him.

“Bait, do you know what I feel like?”

“I probably do, but oh, it’s just so cliché! A part of me would feel really corny!”

“Yeah, but what about the rest of you?”

Bait smiled. “The rest of me loves it way too much to ever NOT do it,” he waved out a hoof. “You go first, Switch. Yours is so much better than mine.”

Nodding, the larger changeling threw back his head and laughed, his throaty, hissing voice echoing along the vacant alleyway. Bait soon joined in, and the two cackled wildly, their wicked laughter booming off the walls and on throughout the streets. Once they’d calmed down some, they took a few breaths. “Bait my man, you’re getting better at the evil laugh,” Switch said.

“You too, Switch, you too.”

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“Twi! Yer right!”

The lavender unicorn reacted immediately, spinning and blasting a few stallions with her horn just in time to send them flying. “Thanks, AJ!”

“Don’t mention it, sugarcube,” the burnt-orange pony replied, ducking underneath a chair leg swinging wildly in a crystal stallion’s grip just in time to buck him in the gut. The stallion crumpled to the floor, clutching his sides and moaning. “Aw, walk it off, y’big wuss! M’brother bucked me in the chest when Ah was a filly, and Ah harvested two acres of trees right after!”

“Take that! And that, you brute!” Rarity screeched, blasting away wildly. Though her magical attacks weren’t nearly as strong or as focused as Twilight’s, she was shooting enough of them off to stun every stallion around her, leaving them open to a flurry of well-executed spinning hoof kicks. “I say, this is a bit of an overreaction for an argument over appletini prices, is it not?”

“Well, that’s how it started,” Dash replied, pulling her hoof out of some poor guy’s face and sweeping his legs out from under him. “Then the barkeep made a pass at me and…well…things kinda blew up from there.”

“I toldja, I never made a pass atcha!” A stallion wearing a smock, pinned to the floor by a butter knife, shouted.

“Then what wazzat winkin’ for, huh!?” She yelled accusingly.

“I have a nervous tic, you madmare!”

Dash blinked, peering over the counter at the pinned crystal stallion. “Oh shoot, really?”

He replied with a few involuntary clicks from the back of his throat and a twitching eye. “Yeah!”

“My bad,” she managed to say before yet another thug grabbed her in a headlock. Reacting immediately, Rainbow Dash elbowed him in the gut and grabbed him in a rolling knee bar, trapping his leg in a knee-shattering hold. Another pair of thugs advanced on her as she wrenched her opponent’s leg into complete submission, only for them to drop unconscious to the floor beneath a cloud of streamers and noisemakers.

“Of course it shoots streamers,” Twilight mumbled, shaking her head and smiling as Pinkie’s “Party Over” bat smoked in her grip. Shaking off the giggles, she turned a stern glare on her friend. “And Dash, are you really so hot-headed that all it takes is a guy hitting on you to send you flying completely off the handle?”

“Hey! He did it while we were haggling over prices! It was very suggestive,” she replied, ears folding back into her mane. It was a weak excuse and she knew it.

“Darling, you simply must learn to control your temper,” Rarity sighed, absentmindedly shooting another magical blast over her shoulder and taking out the pair of crystal stallions that had been sneaking up on her.

“I gotta agree with yer friend there, li’l lady,” the stallion in Dash’s grip shrugged, pounding her in the jaw with a hoof and using the distraction to pull his leg free. “I mean, from an outside point of view? Kinda makes you look like a hothead.”

“Hey, nopony asked you!” She barked, sliding back into a battle stance and setting her jaw back in place. “Besides, it was a misunder…”

Attention, Doyle’s Tavern!” A voice bellowed from outside, magnified by some spell. “This is the Crystal Guard! Cease all hostile activities immediately and exit the building with your hooves in the air!”

A groan sounded throughout the room, partially from stallions in pain, partially from disappointment. “Aw man, leave it t’ Five-Oh to spoil the fun!” The stallion facing Dash sighed.

Rarity’s jaw dropped. “Fun!?”

“Gotta do somethin’ to pass the time around here,” another crystal stallion shrugged, nonchalantly popping his shoulder back into place. “Theatre Corps’ still a mess, and still not a whole lotta work goin’ around, so all that leaves is…”

“Drinkin’ and fightin’,” AJ finished with a tiny smile, lending a hoof up to one of the stallions. “My kinda town.”

“Dang, and it was a real good fight too,” another stallion sighed, a black hoofmark across his eye. “I mean, seriously, you girls are fantastic!”

“Thanks,” Dash said, suppressing a blush as the stallion trotted towards the door. “You guys weren’t half bad either.”

“Welp, time to face the music,” the stallion lifted a hoof and pressed against the door, only it didn’t budge. Frowning, he pressed both hooves against it and started pushing with all his might, still with no results.

“Stu man, just open it!” A gray-coated stallion from the back sneered.

“I’m tryin’!” The stallion yelled, now trying to pull on the handle. Still nothing.

“C’mon Stu, this ain’t funny!” The barkeep yelled angrily, having finally freed himself from the floor. “That’s the Crystal Guard outside! You know how club-happy those idiots get!”

“I’m trying! I’m seriously trying!” Stu’s teeth were clenched as he visible struggled with the handle, throwing his head back, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. “It’s stuck on somethin’!”

“Alright, alright, step aside!” AJ said annoyingly, brushing the stallion to the side and raising her hind hooves against the door. “Ah ain’t met a door yet what can resist a good ol’ Apple family buckin’!”

Rearing back, she delivered the most powerful kick she could muster, finally earning a small rattle from somewhere in the frame. The hit reverberated throughout the room and rumbled in everypony’s chest, yet still the door held firm.

“Ow, ow,” she limped off, massaging her calves. “Gah, Celestia above, what’s that thing made of, solid steel!?”

Twilight shook her head and frowned, scratching at her chin with a hoof. “No, it’s something else. Something’s wrong…”

We repeat, all patrons are to exit the structure with their hooves in the air immediately! You have five minutes to comply!

The ponies all watched nervously as a group of Crystal Guards approached the tavern in battle formation, probing the door experimentally. “Okay, this has gone on long enough,” Rarity said, trying to keep the anxious quiver out of her voice. “Twilight, would you be so kind as to give it a try?”

“Gladly,” the Element of Magic strode past the other ponies and glared at the stubborn exit. A look of determination crossed her face as she stared it down like a town sheriff facing off against a desperado out west. Charging up her horn, she easily unleashed a tiny spark of magic, hoping to just test the barricade’s strength. The little spark flitted into the wood and disappeared. Suddenly, a massive green bolt arced out of the door and cracked against her horn, sending the little unicorn flying across the tavern and crashing right through a table.

“Twilight!” Her friends screamed, pulling her free of the shattered wood and splinters. She gazed up at them woozily, eyes swiveling in their sockets.

“You okay, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, worry saturating her voice.

“I-I think so,” Twilight moaned, a hoof reaching up to her head. She winced at the touch. Something was very wrong.

“Don’t touch that!” One of the Crystal Stallions shouted, galloping to her side. Carefully, he tilted her head to the side for a better look at the horn, wincing at the smoldering scorch mark on its side. "Aw yeah, it's burnt up pretty bad. I’d give it a few minutes before tryin’ anything with that horn."

"Two minutes! You have two minutes to comply!" The crowd inside the bar could only watch as the guardsponies gathered in front of the tavern and readied a massive battering ram: the kind used for breaching castle gates.

"Dangit, how come stallions think they gotta use their biggest toys just 'cause they have 'em?" Applejack grumbled at the sight of the huge slab of wood being wheeled towards the door.

"More fun that way," the stallion next to her shrugged, holding a frosty mug of cider up to his black eye.

"This is your final warning! Exit the building now or face the consequences!

"Alright, y'know what? Forget this," a stallion grumbled, knocking a few mugs to the floor and tossing one of the freshly-cleared tables over his shoulder. "Anypony wanna give me a hoof here?"

"Whaddya think yer doin'!?" The barkeep yelled as the first stallion was joined by a few others, plus Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

"If we don't do somethin', then the guards'll think we kept 'em out on purpose!" The stallion shouted. "You know these guys: they'll come in here, spears swingin' if we don't let 'em in!"

"Buh-but...my bar..." the barkeep whimpered, barely acknowledging Rarity as she ran a comforting hoof along his shoulder. He gazed at the door about to take a battering ram, and the plate-glass window about to meet one of his own tables.

"Alright boys, just try t'keep up!" Dash said, grinning with anticipation. "Now, on the count of ten! One..."

The stallions readied themselves, staring straight ahead, their makeshift battering ram held firm in their hooves.

"Two..."

A few stallions held their breaths. Applejack tilted her hat low.

"TEN!" Rainbow barked, springing forward. Barely maintaining their balance, the other ponies rushed alongside, the surprise pushing their legs faster than any of them would have thought possible otherwise. The heavy, oaken legs of their ram connected with the glass, and immediately bounced right off, as if they'd just hit solid steel. The entire group was knocked right off their hooves and wound up on their backsides, the table splintered in half, the window still completely unscratched.

"Wow-anypony catch the number on that wagon what just hit me?" Dash groaned, picking herself up and shaking the spots out of her eyes.

"Dear Celestia," one stallion murmured, prompting a letter-writing flashback from Twilight. The stallion pressed a hoof against the glass. "It's like iron!"

"Something's wrong," Twilight said worriedly. "Something's very wrong here."

"Ehuh..." one of the crystal ponies ran up to the glass and raised a hoof to it. "Stu want out!" He gasped, smashing his hoof against the window. Not even a scratch. One of his eyes twitched.

"Stu! Want! OUT!" He repeated, panic setting in his voice.

"Hold it," Twilight said, grabbing his hoof before he could do any damage to himself. "That obviously isn't going to work, and panicking won't get us anywhere. We need to approach this calmly and rationally, or we might as well just be a bunch of rabid mules!"

"I, for one, would like to cast my vote in favor of the 'rabid mules' option," the stallion Dash had been fighting when this whole mess had started said, his hoof raised.

"I'll second!" The cyan pegasus added cheerfully.

"It's not an option!" Twilight barked, rubbing her hooves against her temples. "Look, whatever this is, it's obviously magical in nature, and very powerful magic at that." She pointed to her burnt horn, wincing as her hoof barely touched against it. "Until we can figure out who or what put this spell in place, we should stay in here and wait for the Guards outside to piece things together!"

The crystal stallions all stared wide-eyed at her. "Depend on the Crystal Guard to figure things out?" The barkeep snickered. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say the Guard's specialty lies more in the 'beating up drunks and collecting parking fines' department. Figuring stuff out, though..."

Author's Notes:

I'm hoping to get the next chapter up sometime within the next couple weeks, stay tuned!

Chapter X: Luna v. Chrysalis

Princess Luna glared as the Guardsponies reared back for another hit against the Tavern’s entrance. “Come on! What’s taking so long!?” Their captain bellowed as the massive ram smashed uselessly against the door. She frowned, watching the group slam against the door over and over again, with all the effectiveness of a spitball against a fully-armed battleship. She frowned. How in Equestria could a group of fully-grown, trained soldiers carrying the best gate-crashing equipment available not bust through some dingy little tavern's door? She had to investigate.

"Stay here," she whispered to the pair sitting next to her.

"O-okay," Fluttershy whispered, taking one look at the wall of soldiers between her and the café and cowering back.

"Aww, but Princess!" Pinkie started indignantly. "How are we supposed to have any fun just waiting for..."

A single glare silenced her, Pinkie's lips sealing all by themselves. Still got it, Luna smiled as she unfurled her wings and soared right over the guards' heads, landing with the trademarked grace practically all Canterlot royals possessed, her hooves hitting the ground with a pair of nearly-inaudible taps.

"Put some back into it!" A somewhat important-looking guard in well-polished armor shouted. Figuring he must have been someone in charge, she strode right up to him, chest out, back straight, shoulders back in the most intimidating stance outside the walls of Canterlot. She positively towered over the other ponies: just like she needed.

"Guard! What is going on here!?" She barked, her voice at half "Royal Canterlot" levels.

"Wha-oh! Princess!" The stallion gasped, hurriedly saluting. "You shouldn't be..."

"We are visiting royalty, and we shall go where we please!" The Princess glared, cranking it up to 60% RCV. "Unless thou hast a problem with the rights of those divinely chosen as royalty?"

That did it: a bit of ye olde Equestrian and a couple of ancient ideas she knew the Crystal Ponies hadn't outgrown like the rest of Equestria, and he was like butter in her hooves. "Nuh-no, I never said that..." he trailed off, head bowed, ears folded back.

Luna allowed the smallest little smile to play at the corners of her lips, much like the look a hawk got after spotting a field mouse. The guard pasted a nervous little smile on his face in return. "Very good," she said. "Now, we were merely wondering about thy attempts to rend yon portal asunder."

His shoulders slumped, one hoof reaching over to rub nervously against the other. "Wuh-well, we were just having trouble getting through. The enemy has themselves barricaded really well, and..."

"Thou regards anypony that gets into a drunken brawl as an enemy of the state?” Luna asked, an eyebrow rising. “Heavens above, I pity thy loiterers!"

"Th-they ARE breaking the law..." he replied weakly, like a foal realizing he didn't really have an excuse for forgetting to walk the dog as his parents stared him down.

Snorting, Luna turned to the ponies on the ram and extended a hoof, cranking her voice to full Canterlot Royalty volume. "HALT!"

The ponies obeyed immediately, dropping the massive hunk of military equipment and looking around fearfully, some half-expecting Sombra to appear before them. "Princess!" One near the front with epaulets on his shoulders gasped. "What are you..."

"This is not working," she replied curtly, marching up to the tavern's front. "It obviously requires a more intelligent approach."

With the Commander tailing her worriedly (and trying very hard not to stare at her toned flank), Luna peered through one of the plate-glass windows built into the tavern’s façade. She spied a few beaten and bruised crystal stallions, along with four familiar mares all gathered together. She tapped on the glass, and immediately Twilight looked up and grinned. Princess, she mouthed, the sound completely blocked by the glass. The little unicorn galloped up with the enthusiasm of a small filly in her sister’s court and put a hoof to the window, and Luna smiled and placed hers right over it, the pair smiling at each other not as ruler and subject, but as friends.

“What’s going on?” The Commander asked, watching the scene incredulously.

“We are working on it, guard, give us the courtesy of a minute,” Luna replied, her eyes never leaving Twilight’s. The little unicorn’s mouth started running frantically, everything she wanted to say obviously spilling out all at once. The Princess held a hoof up to her lips to silence her, then pointed to an ear and shook her head. Twilight stopped and frowned, then clopped a hoof against the glass. She repeated the motion, but harder, as the Princess arched an eyebrow. Twilight motioned desperately to her hoof until Luna gave hitting the glass a try, and nearly fell off her hind hooves when it bounced right back, as if she had just punched a guard’s breastplate, not a cheap sheet of glass.

Looking the glass over, the Princess frowned. “This building has been enchanted. Nopony can get in, and likewise, nopony can get out.”

“What?” The guard asked, eyebrows disappearing up into his helmet.

“Stand back, guard,” Luna replied, rearing back as her horn glowed. “Let us see how a simple enchantment stands against the might of an Alicorn!”

The guard dove for cover as Luna’s wings flared out behind her body, the air swirling around her. She opened her eyes to direct the spell’s force, but just as she felt ready to unleash it, she caught sight of Twilight frantically waving her hooves and mouthing “no, no!” over and over again. Luna doused her horn and fell back on all fours again, cocking an eyebrow at the unicorn. Didn’t she want out? Wasn’t that the whole point of this excursion? But then she noticed the way she kept frantically pointing at her horn and holding it up to the glass, as if there was something on it Luna was meant to see. Curious, the Alicorn stepped up to the window as Twilight held her horn closer to it, giving the Princess the best look she could of the ugly scorch mark burnt into its side. Luna gasped at the sight, immediately turning to the Commander.

“Guard, have your ponies stay back; whoever placed the enchantment on this building also placed some sort of trap for anyone attempting to use magic on it,” she barked.

“Of course, Princess,” the Commander reported, immediately holding up his hooves and waving the other crystal ponies back.

Nodding, Luna leaned in to the magically sealed door, prodding it gently with her horn. Twilight’s eyes widened and she shook her head furiously, but Luna just nodded reassuringly as the tip of her horn tapped the wood. Taking a deep breath, she started to focus.

“Ah, Princess, should you…” the Commander started.

“Fear not, my little crystal pony,” Luna replied, grimacing with focus. “We merely need a small taste of what we are up against.” As her concentration grew, she was suddenly grateful she’d left Pinkie behind on the sidewalk: Heaven knows that little pink mare would probably be trying to blast the building with every single party-related weapon imaginable if she were anywhere nearby.

The guard bit his cheek, but knew better than to try and argue. He merely watched as she took a few calming breaths and focused on the energy flowing out of her horn. After a while, the horn dulled, its light-teal color giving way to a dark navy as Luna purposefully drew as much energy away from it as possible. She focused on turning it into nothing: her horn was no longer the center of her magic, but now a mere inanimate object that happened to be attached to her head, like a regular pony’s mane. It’s just a dead thing…it’s not part of you… she repeated as she slowly advanced on the door and plunged the tip of her horn into the tiny magical aura humming just over its surface.

Just a dead thing…it’s not part of you…just an object… she repeated, her concentration nearly failing at the sense of relief that washed over her after she successfully touched the door without it lighting off another magical attack. She breathed in, and out. Breathed in, and out. Focus… placed as she was, she could finally get a reading on just what this magic was, and immediately a cold feeling washed over her. Shivers lit up and down her spine as a hard knot twisted in her stomach.

“Fear!” She gasped aloud, pulling back and allowing her magic to surge back into her horn. “It’s fear!”

“Um…what?” The Captain asked, but the Princess had already taken off towards the crowd of Guardsponies at a dead gallop. She nearly ran right into the crowd before grabbing a stallion and pulling him up to her face.

“There was a yellow stallion with me earlier,” she said curtly, not even bothering with such niceties as allowing the stallion to gather all his marbles up again.

“Uh…” the guard replied.

“I’ve already dispatched another one of you to look for him, but I want more to join in the search.”

“I can…”

“Why are you still standing here!? Get to it!” She barked, and the stallion took off in a cloud of dust before he even had a clue what his hooves were doing.

The Commander jogged up to the Princess's side, head spinning. “Princess, I’m sorry, but why is a search for some random stallion so important? And what did you mean by ‘fear’?”

“We believe that stallion was a changeling infiltrator,” Luna replied flatly, her eyes scouring the platoon before her for anything that looked even slightly out of place. “He might be the one who placed the spell on the tavern.”

"A...what?"

"Right...the wedding was before the Empire's reemergence," she muttered, turning to the guard in exasperation. "A changeling is an insect-like pony capable of taking the form of anypony they wish. Instead of food, they feed upon the loving energy of normal ponies, usually by taking a pony's place and leeching off the emotions of their loved ones."

"They...feed on emotions?" The Captain asked skeptically.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Just...trust us on this, okay? This is what I meant by 'fear': changeling magic is fueled by emotional energy, and the spell over yonder tavern is just such an enchantment. Powered by fear, to be specific."

"So, this stallion is one of these 'changelings'? And he made the spell trapping those ponies?"

"Yes and no," she replied, eyes still scanning the mob of faces around her, forehooves propped up on a table for a better look. "He might be the changeling who laid the spell in place, but there's only one changeling in existence with the skill and power necessary to craft something so potent: only one changeling capable of harnessing that much power from fear itself without being overwhelmed..."

She trailed off as the sound of clapping hooves floated up from the crowd. All eyes turned to a rather large, beefy stallion near the front, clad in golden armor, his hooves clapping together slowly and mockingly. The Princess glowered as the stallion stepped forward, still clapping, a horrid grin on "his" face. "Well done, Princess, very smart. I can see there's more to you than just a pretty face and sexy wingspan,” the stallion said in a gravelly voice. Yet, there was something else to the voice, a hidden layer just beneath everypony’s hearing, enough for one to detect but not to place.

"What do you think you're doing!? Get back in rank before I have you tossed in the brig!" The Commander bellowed.

The grin turning into a sneer, and the stallion levelled a cold, steely glare on the smaller Captain. Suddenly, a large, hole-filled horn materialized in the middle of the creature’s forehead and unleashed a bolt of fluorescent green magic. Luna just narrowly managed to knock the oblivious stallion out of the way in time, diving against him and arching her back to allow the bolt sail by just a few inches under her form, singing a few feathers on her wings. Tumbling off her shoulder like a gymnast, she bolted to her hooves and glowered, teeth clenched, horn glowing. The "stallion" grinned, a set of razor-sharp teeth where flat, pony teeth should have been.

"Nice reactions, Princess," they hissed in a strange, multi-layered voice. The soldiers around them gasped as the phony pony disappeared in a flash of green flames, revealing a tall, black, slender creature in his place, her long, sharp fangs and emerald, cat-like eyes gleaming in the midday sun.

"Chrysalis!" Luna bellowed in full, Royal Canterlot voice. "Thou dare bewray thyself in Equestria again!?"

"Well, technically, we are in a semi-autonomous region," the queen of the changelings cackled, running a hoof through a few strands of mossy, green hair. "Though it is good you know me, Princess. Nice to see my reputation precedes me."

"The only thing that precedes you is the tale of your failure in Canterlot! Thou must be a fool to show thy true form in a city ruled by the very pair that defeated thee!"

"Ah yes, Cadence and Shining Armor," the Queen grinned, a hoof scratching at her chin. "About them..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“More loan requests from the southern districts, sire.”

“Nnngh,” Shining Armor moaned as yet another stack of papers landed amidst the humongous collection already on his desk. His head landed atop a stack with a deep thud, sending a few bill orders and a couple public works approval forms tumbling to the floor. So this is why Celestia puts up with all those Canterlot nobles… he moaned. Egotistical and dry as they might be, the nobility in Canterlot at least knew how to keep a modern kingdom functioning!

“Sire? Are you alright?” The dark purple crystal pony standing in front of his desk asked worriedly. “If you want, I’m certain I can take a good share of the load off you.”

“No, Inkquill, that’s quite alright,” Shining replied, trying to lift his tired head up, but only managing to turn his face to the side so at least his voice wasn’t muffled. “You just get back to your studies and let your prince handle the heavy lifting, okay?”

The pony nodded as Shining forced a smile onto his face. Inkquill was everything one could want in a bureaucrat: hardworking, enthusiastic, devoted, caring, what more would you need? If only he’d been born a thousand years later, he would have made a fine worker for the maze of triplicated and collated forms that was modern bureaucracy. As it was, the last time Shining had let the guy work unsupervised, he approved several exorcisms and a formal prayer to bolster a bridge that had been damaged in Sombra’s siege. Patience, Shining, he can’t help being a millennium out-of-date. Just let him finish his studies and you should have a fine worker in no time.

“So, how are your studies going?” The newly-crowned Prince asked. “Catching up to modern Equestria?”

“Oh wonderfully, sire!” The crystal pony replied with all the enthusiasm of a kindergartner that just learned something they were dying to let you know. “Did you know that bloodletting actually detracts from a patient’s health during illness?”

Shining Armor’s right eye twitched. “Fascinating.”

“I know, right? Who could have thought such a basic medical procedure could be so wrong!?”

Not you, apparently. “Why don’t you get back to your books, eh? I’ve kept you from them long enough.”

“Of course, sire,” the pony trotted away, his step so light and endlessly cheerful that it made a part of Shining Armor want to vault the desk and just start punching him until something shattered. Instead, he sighed and let his head thump against the desk again. He knew that was just the stress of the day’s work talking. Inkquill was going to make a fine worker someday. Thing is, that day was still far off, and right now the Shaman’s guild was threatening to strike, the economy was running on government loans and subsidies from Canterlot’s coffers, the water system was backing up from every attempt to integrate it with more modern machinery, and half his citizens still thought the greatest heights of medical technology involved leeches.

And to think: he’d actually thought things would get easier once Sombra had been defeated, but this…ANYTHING was better than this! Give him Discord! Give him Nightmare Moon! Heck, give him a changeling invasion! But if he had to stamp his name on another form of approval one more time…

“Ugh, Twilight, why did you have to entertain the Princess!” He lamented. If his sister were here, she’d have these forms filled out, filed away, and laminated by now. He groaned and turned his head to lift his snout out of “A Formal Request from the Pony Oaks Daycare center to participate in the Summer Sun celebrations’ parade (must be filled out in triplicate to be validated)”.

Slowly, he lifted himself up. The fact of the matter was, Twilight wasn’t here. The Princess had arrived in the Empire and she needed Twilight to serve as her guide, just like the Empire needed these forms signed, collated and delivered now! So he was gonna soldier up, pick up his pen, and knock dis work outta da park like the prince he was meant to be! Like the prince he needed to be! Like a BAWSS!

Right after a quick nap, of course.

“Aww, is somepony tired?” Shining smiled as the light, melodic tone of his wife’s voice filled his ears. Grinning tiredly, he watched as a pink hoof set a streaming mug on the desk next to his head, right in between a couple stacks of papers that had hardly shrunk since that morning. Smiling down at him, the princess parked her flank on the desk right next to the mug.

“Cady, you are a sight for sore eyes,” he smiled, picking up the mug in his magic and lifting it to his lips.

“I just wanted to check up on my beloved husband,” she cooed, smiling as he set the mug back on the desk.

“Mmmh,” his throat rumbled with enjoyment. “That stuff takes me back. Remember our first date? In Canterlot Gardens?”

“Ah, yes,” she sighed wistfully, curling up in his hoof as he offered it to her. “The gardens…the moon…the romance?”

“Yeah,” the smile faded from his face. His grip on the mug tightened. “Too bad we were dating in secret at the time, which would’ve made Canterlot Gardens a pretty lousy destination.”

The eyes of the princess flashed green. “Oh, shi-“

Immediately, Shining shattered the mug against the impostor’s face, spraying the liquid all over their body. The fake Cadence tore out of his grip and flailed wildly, blindly trying to strike with anything they could get their hooves on, but the former guard captain easily slammed his body against them and pinned the impostor to the desk. “You think I don’t know what Nightroot tranquilizers smell like!?” He bellowed. “I was the Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard!”

“Yeah, and you did a bang-up job during our invasion, too,” the creature in his grasp hissed, squirming and baring its fangs.

Sneering, Shining silenced the impostor with a punch to the jaw, following up by placing his hoof against their throat. “Where is she?” He growled.

“I’ll never-GACK!” The changeling choked as Shining put just a bit more weight behind his hoof. “Okay! Okay! She’s in the coat closet! Just outside!”

“Smart move,” he replied coldly, keeping the changeling pinned under his weight while his free hoof popped open a desk drawer and fished out a pair of iron manacles. “Now, if you’ll please hold still…”

“You seriously think I’m gonna-ACK!” The changeling gagged again as Shining pressed a hoof right into their Adam’s apple, then nonchalantly locked one of the cuffs around a forehoof as it flashed back into black chitin. Shining promptly shoved his prisoner to the ground and wrapped the manacle’s chain around a desk leg, slipping the remaining cuff around her (his?) free forehoof.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” he spat as he galloped towards the door.

“Buck off,” the changeling wheezed, rearing up as far as the cuffs would allow them. To Shining’s surprise (and mild horror), a changeling stallion stood where the impostor had, leaving the Prince to shiver at the thought of the make-out session he’d had planned before smelling the Nightroot in the mug. “You’re too late! We’re already in the city!”

“Not for long,” Shining muttered, closing the door behind him to block any ranting from his prisoner. Cadence didn’t have to hear that, especially now that she’d been captured again! Oh but this time, this time, he was gonna be there for her, and heaven help anyone stupid enough to get in his way.

Jogging right past Inkquill, lying unconscious on the floor next to the receptionist’s desk, Shining Armor dashed to the coat closet and nearly tore the door off its hinges. He peered into the darkness, nearly crying out with relief on finding a trembling pink form atop a pile of laundry bags. “Cady!” He gasped, throwing himself inside and pulling the Alicorn close, her tear-soaked face wetting the fur on his neck as he set to work freeing her of the green goop binding her hooves and muzzle.

“Shining, it’s them!” She gasped once her mouth was free. “The changelings are back!”

“I know, love, I know,” he shushed her, kissing her tenderly as he peeled some of the gunk off her hooves. It never even occurred to him how odd it was that her horn wasn’t bound. He was so relieved to have her in his hooves again that he never thought to question why she hadn’t tried to free herself if her horn was free: or at least tried to bang something around for attention. As it was, he just smiled reassuringly and held her close. “I’ve got one of them chained up in my office. You think you can pull off that love spell we used at the wedding?”

Wiping away a few tears, she nodded and sniffled. “I-I think so.”

“Okay,” he closed his eyes and touched his horn to hers, willing himself to relax and allow his love to flow from his heart, becoming a force welling up within his body, ready to burst out and send the bug-butts flying. “On the count of three, alright?”

“Okay,” she said, smirking as she wrapped her hooves around his body.

“One…”

“THREE!” She barked, a green bolt of energy blasting from her horn and knocking the unicorn back. Shining Armor flew against the closet’s wall and bounced, landing on the floor with a deep thud. The air knocked out of him, his head reeling with the shock, he looked up at the pink creature standing before him.

“C-Cady?” He moaned, trying to push himself up to his hooves, only to be shoved down again by a hue of green magic.

“Do you know the time when your enemy’s guard is at its lowest?” The creature asked, eyes glowing green as “she” bent down to the fallen prince, her fangs bared in a cocky sneer. Shining moaned as he was picked up in the creature’s magic and hoisted up like a helpless filly.

“It’s just when they think they’re about to win,” the changeling whispered before finishing him off with a final, green-lit blast from its horn, cackling as his mind disappeared beneath the power of its spell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The changeling in Shining Armor’s office perked up at the sound of approaching hoofsteps, ears folding back as he tried to hide behind the desk, rattling the chains around his hooves. His fears instantly fell once another changeling strode in with the alabaster unicorn in tow, a big, blank gaze on his face and a green hue glowing in his eyes.

“Crashy!” The chained changeling gasped.

“Burny!” The other changeling dropped his disguise and galloped to the chained changeling’s side, nuzzling him warmly. “He said he’d captured a changeling; I was so worried about you!”

“Aheh-yeah,” Burn snickered, the chains clinking as he shifted to accommodate the newcomer. “Ran into a bit of trouble with this one.”

“No kidding?” Crash snickered, batting his partner with a hoof. “I toldja not to go with that generic sleeping potion! Royal Guards are trained to detect that stuff!”

“I thought since he was a pencil-pushing former Captain, he’d be all fat and dumb and stuff!” The chained-ling replied defensively. “Not, y’know…”

“Handsome and smart?” Crash interrupted, deadpanning.

Burn's tattered ears folded back. “I didn’t say that…”

Crash glared at him for a second, then his eyes lit up and he swatted playfully at the other changeling’s chest. “I know you didn’t! I’m teasing, you stupid fag!” He laughed, leaning in for a quick kiss. “Besides, I had to kiss the guy, and after that I know I have nothing to worry about.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Oh, hun, I have no idea how he snagged a princess, but it wasn’t with his lips,” Crash smiled, leaning in closer to his lover. “Like smooching a dead fish. I think I need a reminder of what a good kiss feels like.”

“Kinky,” Burn remarked, eyeing his chains. Crash leant him against the desk, lips slowly working down the side of his special someling’s face and along his neck. Burn turned to accommodate his love’s fangs, and his eyes bugged out at the shimmering green hue staring blankly back at him. “Uh…”

“What?” His partner followed his gaze to the unicorn standing ramrod straight in the corner. He grinned mischievously and turned back. “Oh c’mon, Burny, you’ve never had someone watch?”

Very kinky,” Crash laughed as they leaned into one another’s lips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna glowered and assumed her combat stance, head bowed, horn glowing. The Changeling Queen smirked and leaned back against one of the outdoor tables, forelegs crossed nonchalantly across her chest, even as a mob of Crystal Guard enclosed her in a circle of pointed spears. "What hast thou done with our cater-cousins!?"

"Oh, no need to worry, they're safe," the Queen cackled. "For now."

"Y-you might as well give up now!" The Guard Captain screamed, having recovered from the Queen's attack and now fumbling to keep a spear in his hooves. "The Crystal Guard will stop you!"

Chrysalis's face lit up as Luna face-hoofed. The Captain arched an eyebrow at her. "What? What did I say?"

"Wherefore wouldst thou give her that opening? Wherefore?" Luna sighed, massaging her temple with a hoof.

"What? What opening?"

"Pardon me for using an old cliché," Chrysalis snickered, spreading her hooves out wide while a sinister sneer spread across her face. "But how are you going to stop us when we’re already here!?"

In an instant, a set of green bursts of flames erupted all throughout the crowd, little black bodies appearing to replace the shimmering, crystalline forms. The black bodies of an entire army of changelings, still wearing Crystal Guards' armor, had the remaining crystal ponies as well as the Princess utterly surrounded. The Queen snickered and stood reared up while her army rose into the air, bearing down on the remaining guardsponies. Somewhere in the mob, with the fearful gasps of the guards filling the air around them, Fluttershy and Pinkie wrapped their hooves around one another in fear.

"That opening." Luna replied, a hoof still massaging her temple.

"Attack, my swarm! Seize what your queen has granted you!” Chrysalis bellowed. Instantly, the buzz of a thousand wings drowned out the surprised cries of the ponies as the changelings descended upon them, like a pack of lions attacking a zebra herd. Angered hisses and the emerald green of changeling attack spells filled the air. Most of the crystal ponies were caught almost immediately, swiftly pasted to the ground with changeling magic and forced to watch as their comrades fell by their side.

Chrysalis smiled across the square at the Princess as the battle raged all around them. The Crystal Captain at Luna's side still clenched his spear, still shaking, but she raised a hoof against his chest to stop him. "We-I am the only one capable of taking on yonder wretch," Luna explained, gesturing towards the Changeling Queen. "See to your fellow guardsponies."

Biting his lip, the commander nodded and turned at a squad of changelings approaching from the right, horns charged with that sickly green glow. He leapt against them with a defiant battlecry, weapon flashing in the daylight. Luna glowered at her opponent, who merely smiled easily and stood away from the table, cracking her neck.

"Face it, Princess," the Queen hissed. "You've already lost."

"Not while there is love in our hearts and hope in our souls!" Luna barked, letting loose with a blue blast of electricity. Feigning a yawn, Chrysalis deflected the attack with a simple shield and replied with a blast that sent Luna flying into the air, slamming her through an upper-floor window.

Luna blinked, trying to focus through the pain ripping through her body. Wincing, she pulled a shard of glass from her wing and stretched it out. It stung, but not enough to keep her from flying. At least we managed to keep from crying out at the blow, she sighed as she sat up. Now that would have been simply embarrassing.

By the time she sat up fully, the Changeling Queen was already waiting for her, hovering just outside the window, the little smile still on her face. "Hmm, and here I thought you'd have more fight in you than your sister," she sighed mockingly. "Oh well, life's full of little disappointments, isn't it?"

"Speak not of our sister that way!" Luna screeched, anger blinding her judgment as she leapt at the Queen. Still smiling, Chrysalis dodged and followed up with a spinning hoof kick to the back of the Princess's head. Letting out a startled shriek, Luna twirled around and managed to catch the changeling in the jaw with a roundhouse punch, only to immediately take a knee to the stomach, knocking the air right out of her lungs.

Her anger burning off, Luna backed away, switching tactics with her rediscovered clarity. She charged again, but this time when Chrysalis dodged, the Alicorn pulled off a mid-air stall, halting right in front of the changeling for a split-second, which she used to unleash a massive blast of her magic. Chrysalis was stunned for just a moment, her ears ringing from the explosion of magic, but it was enough for Luna to leap at her with a flurry of kicks and punches.

Eventually, Chrysalis managed to duck away, taking off a bit higher into the sky with a flap of her insect-like wings. She wiped a bit of turquoise blood from her mouth. “Impressive. I guess I misjudged you, Princess,” her multi-layered voice hissed.

“You have misjudged many things in coming here, monster,” Luna growled, charging the Queen once again. Chrysalis's expression shifted from that confident, mocking smile to a dark glower in the split second it took Luna to close the distance between them. Dropping out of the way, she hit the ground and shoved off, blasting into the sky just a few feet behind the Princess. Her eyes glowing with power, Luna unleashed a flurry of blasts from her horn, only for Chrysalis to shrug them off like annoying flies.

The Queen bore down on the Princess, and Luna felt a knot twist in her stomach at the look of rage in those emerald eyes. "Monster, eh?" The changeling hissed, swooping close. "Always a monster, always a thing to be destroyed! To be fought!"

"What're you..." Luna started, forgetting her Royal Canterlot tone before a chitin-covered hoof smacked against her jaw. Reeling from the blow, she tried to reorient herself in the air, tried to gain some sort of upper-hoofing on her opponent, but it was all useless. Chrysalis already had the advantage, and in her rage, she had no intention of letting it go.

"A monster! A vile, wretched thing!" The changeling hissed, punctuating each sentence with a punch to Luna's face. Spittle nearly flying out of her mouth as she snarled with each punch, she didn’t even notice as her hoof with numb from the sheer force of the blows. "Nothing more than a thoughtless, evil creature that must be destroyed, right? Right!? Isn’t that right, Princess!?"

Each new blow drew a fresh bit of blood, but the changeling seemed unaware of it, the anger burning through her entire body. Howling with rage, Chrysalis reared up and slammed her hooves against Luna's chest, sending her crashing into the ground, throwing up a few tons of dirt from impact. The changelings and ponies on the ground stopped fighting to gaze upon the display of power in awe, Chrysalis still hovering high over the crater, her shoulders rising and falling with every breath. Luna just laid there, the dust settling around the crater she'd just created, her wings splayed out under her body and blood oozing from her nose while her breath came in shallow, pain-filled gasps.

Chrysalis took one look at the sight and balked, immediately swooping upon Luna and giving her a quick once-over, followed by what little she knew about battlefield triage. Pulse is stable, breathing steady, good... she sighed with relief, a hoof pressed to Luna's throat to feel a pulse. Heavens above, she hadn't meant to lose it like that! She was just supposed to disable the Princess, not beat her to within an inch of her life!

"Oh dear sweet Celestia, she's gonna kill her!" A crystal stallion gasped from somewhere along the crater's edge, bringing the Changeling Queen back to reality. Scowling, Chrysalis allowed the rage to flood her body again, but this time it was controlled, tempered.

Of course that's what I'm doing, she grumbled, allowing the rage to run itself dry in a long, controlled burn within her chest. That's what we monsters do, right?

Still scowling, Crysalis set to work securing Luna, binding her hooves and muzzle in a mass of goo emanating from the holes in her horn, applying an extra-large mass to the Alicorn's horn. Finally, she lifted her bound prize before her, encasing Luna with the green shimmer of her magic, making sure to move her slowly and carefully to avoid exasperating any injuries. She held the bound princess up, presenting her like a hunter’s trophy. The mood in the crowd immediately sank through the basement, one didn’t need to be an emotion-sensing creature to feel that.

"Crystal Empire, behold; your greatest powers, bought low!" She shouted. "If an Alicorn couldn't stand against the swarm, what chance have you!?"

She glowered, still managing to lay the Princess down gently while standing at her full height. “Surrender now, and perhaps you and your loved ones will live to serve us.”

There was a moment of silence from the crowd, some ponies shifting uneasily from leg to leg and peering at the changelings surrounding them. The changelings among them hissed in return. Eventually, the Crystal Guard’s captain strode up to the edge of the crater. All eyes focused on him, changeling and pony alike.

The Captain sighed and pulled off his helmet, looking it over before setting it on the ground by his hooves. He ran a hoof through his sweat-drenched mane, took a few deep breaths, and glared into the crater, at the black menace who had Luna at her mercy. His eyes narrowed. The changelings all hissed at him in rage.

“As a Captain of the Crystal Guard, and the senior ranking officer in this region of the Crystal Empire, I have an important instruction for every pony under either my command or my protection,” he announced, his voice booming throughout the square, echoing in the ears of every single being gathered in front of the little tavern. His gaze turned to the crowd around him, surveying each and every single set of eyes as the crowd held its collective breath, waiting for his words. What would they bring? War? An order for submission?

Suddenly, he wheeled around and took off, nearly tripping over his own hooves as he burst off as fast as his legs could carry him. “RUN!” He barked.

Instantly, the guards dropped their spears and armor and took off alongside the civilians in a mad, panicked dash for any sort of hiding spot. The cries of the civilians rang through the air as the changelings shook off the shock of so many ponies running in so many directions at once and gave chase.

Chrysalis arched an eyebrow at the sight. “Huh. A part of me was hoping that would end somewhat differently,” she mumbled. Oh well. Disappointments. Such was life. Bla-de-bla-de-bla.

She hardly even noticed when one of her high generals landed behind her, his rank distinguished by his silken, black cape, held onto his back by the silver, moth-shaped clasp around his throat. “You gotta love it when they run, right, your majesty?” He asked.

“Hmm?” Her eyes rolled down to the decently-sized (but still smaller than her) changeling. “Ah, yes General Chickit, the chase is always the best part.” She replied absentmindedly. The high-general couldn’t help but scowl again. Ever since the loss of her Mother, Chrysalis had always shown weakness. Sometimes, he’d catch her daydreaming in the middle of the weekly meeting with her advisors and top military commanders, with this pathetic look of yearning in her eyes.

Should’ve figured: love makes one weak. Love tenderizes the heart. He mused. Even with all her power, the Queen still couldn’t get that loss out of her mind! Her Mother still weighed on her like an anchor around her neck! Well, her loss was his gain. He could see the consequences of love with his very eyes: first in the weakness of the ponies, now in the weakness of his own Queen.

“If it pleases you, my Queen, I wish to join our forces in the hunt,” he said with an embellished bow.

“Yes, yes, go ahead,” she said, waving him off and completely missing the mocking tone in his voice. With another bow, the general launched into the air, his sights already set on a nice-looking family of pegasi tourists. Fangs bared with glee, he descended upon them and quickly bound the frightened ponies, relishing in the cries of the parents and the tears of the foals.

Finally, Chrysalis stood up to her full height, her wings unfurling and buzzing in the air. Nudging the Princess to ensure that, yes, she was still as unconscious as she was five minutes ago, the Queen joined her swarm in the skies. “If it’s a monster Equestria wants…” she mumbled, a wicked, fang-filled smile spreading across her face as she joined in the hunt.

Author's Notes:

Well...that's one way to start up a romance...

Chapter XI: The Empire Falls

The moment the call to swarm was given, Switch and his partner had taken to the air with the precision and enthusiasm that could only be summoned by one thing: a mission from the Queen herself. Their wings buzzing behind them, the pair joined in the black cloud growing in the skies over the Crystal Empire, rising until they were just over the rooftops of the apartment buildings.

Switch studied his partner as the smaller changeling scanned the streets below, analyzing the crowd of panicking quadrupeds with a pair of eyes sharpened by years of practice. As they flew, they were forced to dodge the jagged spires jutting off the roves of every building in an imitation of medieval Equestrian architecture. Or maybe not an imitation, he mused. These guys have been in some sort of hibernation for the past millennium, right?

As he watched, a group of changelings descended into the river of panicking ponies, firing off goop as they encircled a small pack right in the middle, which trapped the ponies along the edge and turned them into living barricades for the ponies in the middle. The effect was like dropping a massive rock into a stream, forcing the ponies behind the circle into a pair of narrow channels along the street’s edges, where they were easy pickings. The air filled with the cries and moans of the surprised and trapped ponies, now hemmed in by their own crystalline structures.

“Yeah, welcome back,” he sighed under his breath. What they did was a necessary evil, he knew that, but it didn’t ease his conscience any. He turned his attention to his friend and called: “You see ‘em!?”

The smaller changeling shook his head, his eyes remaining trained on the streets below. “Naw, but that might not mean anything with the sheer amount of ‘em down there.”

Switch grinned. “Bait, m’man, you must be losin’ your touch if you can’t find a pair of magical, brightly-colored ponies.”

“Oh, don’t even give me that bullshit, dude,” Bait hissed through a good-natured smile. “I’m looking for a couple of specific ponies in a sea of…THERE!”

The smiles disappeared on both faces immediately. Both angled downward, aiming for one of the horizontal spires poking off the edge of a rooftop overlooking an alley that smelt like a sewer. Or a college student’s dorm room. Switch raised his hooves, knees bending to absorb the hit, promptly straightening up once the force of the blow had been properly dispersed throughout his body. Bait, on the other hoof, hooked his forelegs on the structure and swung around, landing nimbly right next to his friend.

“Where?” Switch asked automatically.

Bait raised a hoof, signaling for quiet, then he motioned for Switch to follow. Nodding, the larger changeling kept on the smaller’s six as they scaled the wall, hooves gripping every minor imperfection in the purple crystal while their wings worked silently to provide just enough extra lift to keep them moving. At the top, both grasped the outer edge of the roof and propelled themselves over with a burst of strength from their forehooves. They landed near-simultaneously, wings flaring out at the last moment to arrest their momentum, then promptly skittered to the far edge of the building, where Bait called for a halt.

He turned to his friend and motioned to the far edge of the rooftop, then pointed downwards. The message was loud and clear: down there. Nodding, Switch hugged the roof and crept alongside his friend, peeking over the ledge just enough to see.

In the alley below him, hiding behind a garbage can next to a crude graffiti image of a pony with a penis the size of its own body, were the Elements of Kindness and Laughter. As Switch watched, the pegasus took a quick peek over the can, saw a couple dozen changelings descend upon a family of touring unicorns, and immediately turned back to her friend with wide eyes, quivering lips, and a coat that went from butter yellow to pale white in the space of a few seconds.

“Fluttershy?” The pink pony asked, resting a hoof on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

The pegasus shook her head, grabbed the pink one’s hoof, and jammed it into her own mouth, emitting a few high-pitched squeaks. Switch let out a quick chortle, closer to a cough than a laugh. That was kinda cute… he thought.

“Better?” The pink one asked hopefully.

“Kind of,” the yellow one whispered, which combined with her already-quiet nature to form a nearly inaudible squeak that took all of Switch’s ability to discern. “A-are they gone?”

“No,” the pink one said, trying to smile reassuringly but coming up with an expression so paper-thin it took yellow all of half a second to see through it. “But don’t worry! I’m sure we’ll be safe so long as no one sees us!”

“Oh for pity’s sake,” Bait whispered, shaking his head shamefully. “They’re not just tempting fate, they’re wiggling their little flanks right in its face!”

“That gonna be our cue?” Switch hissed back.

Bait just grinned. “Might as well be, right?” He snickered. Sharing his grin, Switch joined him as he vaulted the wall and fell to the ground, wings fanning out again to lessen the shock. The ponies only knew they were being stalked when the changelings landed with a pair of light taps.

“Eep,” yellow squeaked fearfully.

Switch pasted an easygoing, intimidating little grin on his face, eyeing the pegasus. “Well, well, Bait, what’ve we got here?”

Bait copied the grin, circling around to stand right behind pink. “Looks like a coupla pretty little ponies, tryin’ to get away,” he replied, tracing a hoof along her spine to elicit a shiver.

“D’aww, de poor, scared, widdle ponies.”

“You leave us alone, you meanies!” Pink screeched, cradling her friend in her forelegs, who cowered and shivered fearfully.

Switch felt the tiniest twinge of guilt as he leaned in, that grin still mocking her with all its might. “And if I don’t? If I were to simply truss the pair of you up like cattle and drag you back to our Queen by force?”

Without a word, pink slowly unwrapped her hoof around yellow, never breaking eye contact with Switch. He allowed the tiniest possible uncomfortable shift in his stance as she slowly reached behind herself, and suddenly whipped around with a no-fucking-way-where-did-that-even-come-rom cannon in her grip. With a single blast, Bait was sent flying against the wall in an explosion of confetti and streamers, where he bashed his head against a trash can and splashed into a puddle at her hooves.

“BAIT!” Switch started, taking a step forward, only to almost fall face-first right into the cannon. The pink pony smiled as she wrapped a hoof around the device’s trigger, slowly applying more and more pressure, and all the while Switch could only think of one thing to say: “Where in the hay were you even hiding…”

He was interrupted by 500 FPS of pure, party-starting power slamming into his face, sending him flying in a cold display of calculated precision. His head reeling, Switch laid paralyzed as the pink pony grimly blew the smoke off her weapon, returning it to whatever hellish pocket dimension she’d retrieved it from, grabbing yellow, and taking off down another back alleyway.

Switch grumbled, cradling his head with a grimace, forcing the stars back out of his vision. His eyes bugged out at the sight of the small, limp form lying in a puddle off to the side. “BAIT!” He gasped, rushing to his friend’s side. The smaller changeling stared at the sky with a big, blank look, a large dent in the trash can by his head from where he’d hit. “Oh my sweet Chrysalis, Bait! Say something!” He gasped, pulling his friend in close.

The other changeling kept staring straight upwards, mouthing: “Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

Switch cringed. “Something besides that. Something coherent.”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“Bait, c’mon! Command to Bait! Come in, Bait! Where are ya!?”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“Seriously, you’re starting to freak me out now.”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“C’mon, li’l buddy! Don’t tell me I’ve just lost my best friend to brain damage!”

At that, the smaller changeling locked eyes with the larger, grabbed his cheeks in his hooves, pulled him in and said with infinite glee: “Wha-wha-what a MARE! I mean, did you see that!? She just nailed us with that thing and then blew the smoke off like it was nothin’! I didn’t even know anyone did that outside of movies! It was so cool!

Immediately, Switch relaxed. “Hey Romeo,” he said with a grin, pulling out of the hooves’ grip. “If you’re done peeing yourself over the highlighter-colored horsey, we’re supposed to chase them down now?”

“Huh?” He looked over his shoulder at the alleyway pink and yellow had just disappeared into. “Oh, right, c’mon.”

They leapt into the air, their insect-like wings allowing them to swerve and maneuver through the tight alleyways of the Crystal Empire in pursuit of their prey. It was ironic: the ponies’ own city had been built specifically to give changelings the advantage. In such close quarters, pegasi wings were almost completely useless. Even with Switch’s semi-crippled wing and bobbing flying pattern, it only took them a few minutes to catch up to the mares trying to gallop away.

“Girls, just make this easy on yourselves!” Switch bellowed after the pink tails bobbing up and down in his vision (partly from his half-crippled flight pattern). “We’ve already taken the city! It’s only a matter of time before we take you too!”

“Dinner and a movie first!” Pinkie bellowed, springing off a wall, slamming on top of a garbage can, and leaping off at just the right angle to send the lid flying into the larger changeling’s face.

“So cool…” Bait muttered, distracted just long enough to slam headfirst into the side of a dumpster with a loud clang.

“See ya, losahs!” Pinkie giggled, beaming as she looked over to her friend and saw a stifled grin on her face. The mares smiled at each other and looked straight ahead, determined to make their escape.

Behind them, Switch peeled his face out of the lid and looked at the impression it left behind: bared fangs, wide eyes, gaping mouth. “Aw jeez, do I really look like this when I’m surprised?” He muttered.

“Switch!” Bait yelled as he buzzed into the air, motioning for him to join in.

“Right,” the larger changeling muttered, throwing the lid aside and buzzing into the air. Even with all the head starts the ponies had gained with pink’s apparent combat ability, they couldn’t hope to stay ahead of two changelings for long!

Three more bashed-in trashcan lids, two dented dumpster sides, and a particularly pissed-off Rottweiler later, and both changelings’ belief in that assertion was starting to shake. “Switch!” Bait gasped, peeling his face out of a hole in a brick wall and pulling a slice of rotten cucumber off his one fang. “We can’t go on like this!”

Climbing out of a dumpster with a large, multicolored circus afro super-glued to his head, the larger changeling nodded. “Agreed. We should bargle the table much cauliflower.”

“What?”

“I said we need to come up with something better. What do you think I said?”

“Okaaayyy…” Bait said, eyebrows arched in concern as he made a mental note to check his friend into the nearest infirmary later. “I think we’ve been going at this all wrong. We’ve just been brute-forcing it like a couple of idiots.”

Grinning as he tore the afro off, Switch held his hoof out straight ahead. “Time for a little Bait and Switch?”

Returning the grin and completing the bro-hoof, Bait nodded. “Time for a little Bait and Switch.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie took the quickest moment to peer over her shoulder. “Fluttershy, hold up,” she said, slowing to a trot.

“Are you crazy!?” The pegasus squealed, still galloping full-steam ahead. “They’re right behind us!”

“No they aren’t! Look!” Pinkie gasped, seizing Fluttershy’s tail in her teeth. Finally, the pegasus chanced a quick glance over her shoulder. No changelings. None whatsoever. She joined Pinkie and slowed down to a trot, and the pair grinned at each other.

“That was close!” Fluttershy giggled. “Oh Pinkie, you were so brave!”

“Eh, I got most of that stuff from Rainbow Dash, especially that last line,” Pinkie shrugged. “Besides, you were brave too!”

“Oh, no I wasn’t, I’m not…”

“Don’t say that, Flutters! I know how badly you wanted to curl up into a little ball, but instead you…”

“HELP!” Someone gasped. The mares looked ahead just as a small, purple filly with a messy orange mane bolted around a corner and skidded to a halt in front of them. “Oh thank goodness, other ponies!” She gasped in relief.

“Hey there,” Pinkie said gently, stopping to offer a hoof to the little filly. “What’s your name, little girl?”

The filly paused. “Bai…uh…Betty. I’m Betty.” She replied after a moment’s hesitation.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Fluttershy cooed, giving the filly a warm nuzzle. “What seems to be the problem?”

“My daddy,” the filly choked, tears welling up in her eyes. “W-we were just walking and shopping and doing pony things and all of a sudden these nasty, black, bug things showed up and everyone was running around and yelling and there was a big e-esplosion and someone hit my daddy and now he’s not moving and…”

“Shhh…” Pinkie whispered, embracing the filly with all the gentleness afforded her by months of babysitting experience. “Now, where’s your daddy?”

“Just around that corner there,” the filly sniffled, pointing a hoof to the little alley she’d just run from.

“Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked, motioning towards the alleyway and to the little filly currently holding her leg in a death grip.

Nodding shakily, the pegasus galloped away and rounded the corner, almost immediately spying a tall, blue unicorn stallion lying amidst some garbage strewn around an overturned can. Without a moment’s hesitation, she bolted to his side and set to work, turning him onto his back and checking him over for injuries. The only thing that hit her on seeing the stallion’s pristine coat was a sense of relief that she wouldn’t need to put her meager pony medical skills to the test, and not how odd it was that a full-grown stallion who had apparently been knocked unconscious didn’t have a mark on him. “Oh dear…sir, are you alright?” She asked.

The stallion coughed weakly and opened his eyes, which shimmered a deep green. Fluttershy’s own baby blues widened and she took a step back. All at once, the stallion leapt to his hooves and hissed, unleashing a strange spurt of goo from his horn as fangs materialized out of his gumline.

“Oh!” She gasped, stumbling back as the goo caught her in the wing. She looked on in horror as it immediately hardened, locking her wing to the side even more forcefully than her fear usually would. Her eyes widened in terror as the stallion reared up, towering over her as his blue coat disappeared in a flash of green flame, revealing black chitin and insect-like wings.

“I’m feeling better, now that we’ve finally got you cornered,” the large changeling sneered, taking a few steps towards her.

“Oh-oh-PINKIE!” Fluttershy gasped, hyperventilating as she galloped around the corner. “They’re…change…” she trailed off as she caught sight of the pink mare lying on the ground, letting out a muffled cry from behind the goop gluing her lips together. The smaller changeling stood over her, binding her hooves and looking back to Fluttershy in triumph.

“Oh no...” Fluttershy squeaked, backing away as the smaller changeling grinned at her and hissed. Her flank brushed against something solid, and a shiver travelled up her spine. “Oh no…” she whimpered again, hot breath beating against her back. She twirled just as the larger changeling snapped at her, hissing threateningly. Breathing heavily, she backed up against the wall, eyes wide in horror as the pair advanced on her. Pinkie screeched and struggled hopelessly against her bonds, flopping around like a fish on dry land. The pegasus felt the cold, hard crystal of the building behind her press against her flanks, and she shut her eyes and fell to her stomach. Trapped…

Whimpering, she held her hooves over her eyes and sniffled, tears welling. Oh, how she wished somepony else were here. Twilight would just teleport them to safety, or Rarity would yell their assailants into submission before beating them senseless for such “uncouth behavior,” and it went without saying that Dash and AJ would be dancing a jig over the changelings’ unconscious bodies by now. Heck, if Pinkie were free, she’d probably be blasting these two to ribbons with her party cannon. But her? Poor little Fluttershy? She was useless. All she could do was curl up into a little ball and cry like a…

“Oh jeez, dude, is she crying?”

Fluttershy opened one eye slowly, tentatively. Both changelings stared back at her, ice-cold eyes wide in shock.

“Yep,” the larger changeling replied. “She’s crying.”

“Seriously!? But she’s an Element of Harmony! The other one kicked our butts hard enough to…oh jeez, here come the tears…”

“Okay…okay, look…uh…little…pony…” Switch said awkwardly. He looked to his partner, who shrugged and urged him along with a hoof. Rolling his eyes, Switch turned his attention back to the little yellow pegasus and slowly crept towards her. She recognized the approach immediately: it was the same one she used whenever she approached an injured bunny or something else small and easily frightened.

“Dude?” The smaller changeling said. “I’m not sure you should…”

“Just gimme a second, okay?” Switch barked, keeping his voice even and low. Slowly, he made his way towards her, staying low and small, ears folded back submissively. His partner fell silent, watching curiously. Even Pinkie stopped struggling and flopping around, watching as Switch slowly stretched a hoof out to the little pegasus.

Her breath coming more slowly, Fluttershy watched the chitinous hoof extend towards her and, as if she were mesmerized, slowly stuck her own out, reaching towards it. Eventually, the keratin at the bottom of her hoof made contact with the hardened chitin at the bottom of his. He smiled slightly, disarming her despite the ugly scar running down the side of his face. Slowly, tentatively, she returned the smile. Nodding, he promptly leaned in close to her and, before she could react, unleashed a spurt of goo that bound her forelegs together.

“Oh!” She gasped in surprise, automatically turning to run, only to stumble over her new bonds.

“Easy, easy!” He shouted, grabbing her before she could even start falling over. She whimpered again, even as he gently laid her over his back, alongside Pinkie. Through it all, the chitin on his forehead remained scrunched up, as if he were trying to say I’m sorry with just his facial expression. “It’s over now, okay?”

She felt tears well up in her eyes again, but nodded. Sighing as the pegasus curled up on his back and hid her face behind her mane, Switch gestured to his friend. “C’mon. I think the Queen was expecting us back a while ago.”

“Y-yeah,” Bait stammered, still taken aback by the events of the past few minutes. He hurried to trot alongside his friend and partner in crime, but something felt off. He knew he should have felt like a million bucks after defeating the Elements of Kindness and Laughter, but something had cheapened the victory, hollowed it out and made it worthless. He still tried to walk with his chest thrust out in victory, but he never did manage to meet the eyes of the captured pegasus as they strolled back to the tavern: a fact that did not escape the cold, hate-filled gaze of the creature watching them from the rooftops.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Weaklings,” High-General Chickit muttered, glaring at the pair of soldiers trotting away with their prisoners. Oh sure, they’d gotten the job done, but he remembered a time when there’d be no negotiations: where his soldiers would have simply snatched the ponies up and carried them off. No muss, no fuss.

He grimaced. Was the Queen’s weakness bleeding through to her subjects somehow? No, that was ridiculous. This had been a generational thing, a slow bleed that left the swarm’s fangs dull, its subjects soft. He had heard the rumors of changelings leaving the swarm to live with ponies in secret. How they could turn their backs on their own swarm was beyond him, the very thought made his stomach twist. How could anyone give up the nurturing walls of the changeling caverns to live with ponies? To only love with ponies? To even…copulate with ponies…

A shudder travelled up the High-General’s black, chitin-shielded spine, his wings quivering with the motion. No, the Queen’s weakness was just another symptom of the disease that had been slowly tearing out the entire species’ resolve. Love and sympathy had no place in a changeling’s heart, only its belly, but now it was contaminating the minds of everyling around him!

Nose wrinkling in disgust, he turned away from the roof’s edge, cape billowing out behind him in a small breeze. Well, diseases just needed to be cured, that was all. And he would cure this disease, rip it right out of every single changeling’s veins himself if he had to, drum it into their skulls that THEY were superior, THEY were the pinnacle of evolution, and THEY were meant to feed upon the creatures of this world as their forefathers had before them!

He slowly descended the steps from his high point, allowing every one of his steps to echo off the walls. Well, if there was one thing he could be grateful for, it was that some of his fellow changelings hadn’t given in. At least some of the swarm remained free of the sickness. The darkness at the bottom of the steps, accompanied by the glowing eyes of his loyal soldiers and muffled screams of his prisoners, reminded him of this.

His fangs gleaming in the dark, he ignited a spark at the end of his horn, casting the makeshift cavern in a sickly, green glow. The few dozen changelings in the room greeted him, not even flinching in the sudden light, which was more than could be said for the handful of ponies currently glued to the walls, which flinched and moaned and carried on in the most pathetic of ways. He snarled to silence them, and heard a few suddenly break down in tears.

He smiled. Oh sure, his domain didn’t seem like much now, but given time, it would become so much more. This is where it all begins…

“High General!” One of the changelings stepped forward and saluted, waiting until Chickit nodded before lowering his hoof and proceeding. “Raiding parties would like to report approximately seven ponies, captured and ready to serve the true swarm, sir!”

The General gazed down at the underling disapprovingly, earning a cringe from the other changeling. “Seven?”

“Well…the Queen has spread her forces out quite effectively, sir,” the underling’s ears folded back, his gaze breaking contact with the General’s. “Capturing ponies without the loyalists and general populace noticing proved more difficult than anticipated.”

The changeling cringed beneath his superior’s steely gaze, the High-General’s eyes like a wild Manticore’s, glowing in the darkness. Eventually, the High General waved a hoof. “As should have been expected,” he sighed. “Chrysalis still must secure the city; of course she has her forces fanning out to search for any stragglers from the so-called ‘Crystal Guard’. She can’t risk them retaining an organized presence within the city once the Equestrians respond in force.”

“Of course, sir,” the underling replied, an audible sigh of relief making its way through the ranks of the changelings scattered around the room.

“Still, that phase won’t last long,” the High-General replied, the steely glare rematerializing on his face. “Once Chrysalis believes her position to be secure, her forces will settle in for a long occupation. That means predictable patrols, troops concentrating in garrisons, and more room for us to operate.”

He strode up to the reporting changeling and glared right into his eyes. “I fully expect you…all of you…to compensate for today’s shortcomings once that happens. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” the changeling replied, fighting back the urge to recoil from his leader’s gaze.

“Good,” he replied, striding up to that lovely pegasus couple he’d captured that same day. By now, the wife of the group was in tears, the husband hyperventilating through his nostrils right up to the point when Chickit tore off the goop binding his lips.

“Gah! P-please…” the stallion blubbered pathetically the moment his lips were free. “L-let her go, I-I have enough love for you, just…”

The General gazed down at the stallion as if he were looking at a piece of trash that had gotten caught in a hole in his hoof. “You would so willingly sacrifice yourself for this mare?” He asked dispassionately.

“I-yes! Of course I…”

Without another word, the General hovered his mouth over the pony’s neck, and a second later a little pink cloud sprouted right out of the flesh and into the General’s mouth. The pony gasped and fell limp, his eyes going blank while the General fed, his wife looking on in abject terror. Eventually, his hunger sated, the General backed away and replaced the pony’s gag, the mare’s muffled cries filling his ears. “And that is what makes you weak,” he whispered into his ear. “You could be the most powerful creature in the world, but with love in your heart, all I’d need to do is threaten this mare to cow you.”

Turning away from the food store, Chickit trotted back up the steps, wiping some of the grime from the floor off his cape. “Take a quick snack, and then move out. I want us ready to expand our food supply by the time the sun sets.”

“Yes, sir.” Every changeling in the room sounded off, immediately lining up to suck a pony dry. Not even pausing to watch, the General ascended back into the light of the rooftop, surveying the towers and parapets of the Crystal Empire. Somewhere far off, somepony screamed, followed by a choir of hisses and the telltale buzzing of insect wings. A few black dots darted into view from behind the crushed, smoldering ruins of a little cafe somewhere far off and dove into the streets below.

"My beloved swarm," he smiled, pride swelling within his chest. "I shall protect you at all costs, no matter the circumstances."

A scowl quickly spread across his face and he turned away from the view. "Even if it's from yourselves."

Author's Notes:

...and that's another...

Chapter XII: Aftermath

Princess Celestia of Equestria did not think of herself as an impatient mare. Despite the centuries of board meetings, guest appearances, and fundraisers that only served to boost the status of self-serving nobles, she had resisted the urge to slam her head against a wall and scream “SHUT UP” over and over again until her lungs shot out her mouth like a pair of overinflated balloons being squeezed through a straw. Sure, there was that one time 300 years ago, but hey, if Prince Pompanstance didn’t want somepony to urinate on his scale-model diorama of downtown Manehattan, he should have allowed for bathroom breaks during his presentation on…what was it again…oh yes, “The Socioeconomic Impact of Recent Migration Patterns from Rural to Urban Areas.” Maker above, she was bored just thinking that.

Yes, she preferred to think she was the wise, omniscient ruler her ponies knew and loved, that the image of Celestia the all-knowing wasn’t just a façade she pasted on her face every morning like most ponies applied makeup, but she knew the truth, especially now that Prince Blueblood’s presentation on his own royal bloodline had entered its fifth hour.

“This leads me to the next branch in the family line…if my lovely assistant will change the slide…” the Prince droned.

The perky, white-coated mare gleefully inserted a new roll of slides onto the film carriage, and Celestia swallowed a sudden surge of puke. “Thank you, Miss Redheart,” the Prince said, his hoof reaching across the screen to reach the furthest corner of the board, inadvertently exposing the scars left by the acid burns that bought him and the young mare together.

“You got it, sweets,” the Nurse replied, a little blush on her cheeks.

Celestia sighed. It was wonderful that Blueblood had found love, and that his lover could bring out such a wonderful change in him (when was the last time she’d heard him say ‘thanks’ for anything!?), if only he could realize that not everpony was as enthralled with his voice as he was! Well, him and Redheart, if the little sparkles in her eyes as she watched him talk were any indication. “Now, if there are no questions…” Questions from who? I’m the only one attending this me-forsaken impromptu class! “…I will continue with the third century ANM*, where we encounter Vladimir Blueblood and his…”

He trailed off as he hit the control to work the carriage, and a pair of snickers lilted through the air. Celestia sat up in her hard-backed chair for the first time in hours, both her and Redheart holding their hooves to their mouths, suppressing what would obviously be full-blown laughter otherwise. An eyebrow rising, Blueblood finally turned to the screen displaying what should have been a map showing the travels of Vladimir Blueblood through Saddle Arabia.

His own, smiling face gazed back at him, wide eyes staring from a huge puddle of drool as a miniature version of himself pranced around in a pink baby bonnet, a little stuffed Celestia at his side.

“Ohh, I remember that day!” Celestia cooed as the Prince stared in horror. “Oh, Blueblood, you were such a little sweetie as a baby!”

“Jeez, Blue, ya didn’t tell me you had a pink bonnet and a plushie Celestia growin’ up!” Redheart snickered, the bun in her mane bobbing up and down.

“ACK, NO!” Blueblood gasped, fumbling with the control.

“Actually, the bonnet is quite an interesting story,” Celestia exclaimed. “You see, he had an inverted penis as an infant, so for the first few months of his life we thought he was a girl!”

Blueblood looked at the Princess in absolute horror. “Auntie Tia!”

“Oh, it all worked out in the end, Blue! It came out eventually!” Celestia giggled innocently.

“Really,” Redheart gasped, a light of academic fascination switching on behind her eyes. “I’ve seen a few cases of inverted penises myself, but never so bad the doctors misdiagnosed the foal’s gender!”

“Sweetheart!” Blueblood gasped.

“Oh yes, it was quite the surprise when his stallionhood did show itself, but one day his nanny changed his diapers, and there it was!” She chortled. “Oh, she thought he’d been kidnapped and replaced with a stallion look-alike!”

“No,no!” Blueblood whimpered, finally grabbing hold of the controls and slamming the “Change Slide” button so hard the plastic casing cracked. Immediately, the terrible picture projected behind him slid away, exchanged for an older, acne-afflicted, brace-wearing stallion, sleeping next to a little white lump.

“Say,” Redheart squinted. “Isn’t that the Celestia plushie from his foalhood?”

“Dearest sweetest Celestia…” the Prince whimpered.

“It is!” Celestia gasped excitedly. “I almost forgot! He couldn’t bear to part with it, but the first time he tried to move it out of his bed and to a bookshelf, he got into an accident with a watermelon stand and convinced himself it was cursed!”

“Auntie Tia!” Blueblood gasped.

“So he slept with it into his late twenties!” She laughed, slapping a knee as Redheart fell off her perch, rolling on the floor in hysterics.

“YYAAAAHHHHHH!” Blueblood screamed, vaulting the table and body-slamming the projector in a half-crazed stupor. Slides scattered all over the floor, spreading across the tile and sliding beneath desks to be lost forever in the castle’s ventilation system. The prince reared up, breathing heavily at the crushed pile of metal and plastic beneath his hooves.

“Uh…Blue?” Redheart asked, backing away fearfully. He turned on her, still hyperventilating, nostrils flaring like an animal’s. A lock of hair trailed away from his once-perfect mane, dangling over his eye. All at once, he paused, looked down at the destroyed machine, then up at his aunt and his marefriend.

“Dearie me, um…” he sighed. “I have apparently just lost my composure in a rather unroyal way.”

“No kiddin’: you were totally off your rocker!” Redheart gasped.

Straightening himself up and tucking the golden lock back up where it belonged, he raised a hoof to his chest and lowered his head before Celestia. “Auntie Tia…Princess, I have apparently conducted myself in a manner most unbefitting a royal, as well as rendered the remainder of my presentation unusable. If you will please excuse me, I must apologize for such an outburst.”

“That’s quite alright, dearest nephew,” Celestia waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s not every day that a pony can expect past…embarrassments to be presented before them.”

“Yeah, especially in front of their marefriend,” Redheart guffawed. The prince glared at her before gathering up a few of the rolls of slides.

“Thank you for your time, Princess,” he said quietly, Redheart gathering up the remainder of his supplies as he trotted out the door and let it swing shut behind her.

“So, ya still got that doll?” Celestia heard Redheart whisper as the pair trotted away.

“Nuh-no!”

“Oh my sweet Celestia, you totally do…”

The Princess smiled and shook her head. The next few nights would certainly be interesting for her nephew. Of course, he never saw what she saw, or heard what she heard. The little hue of golden magic engulfing the slides a moment before they clicked into place, the telltale guffawing that bounced around the room as the Prince’s distress grew more and more. It all pointed to one thing.

“Discord?” She asked. “I know you are there. Don’t make me search for you.”

A moment later, the draconequus crashed to the ground before her, rolling around in mirth as his laughter bounced off the walls, taking out little ornate lamps and golden curtain rods as little “ha’s” hopped off every surface in the room like a bunch of superballs being dumped on the ground. “Did you – did you see the look on his face!?” The spirit of chaos and disharmony laughed, his entire body writhing on the floor. “Oh, that was too good!”

“Discord,” Celestia said sternly, glaring down at her lover.

The spirit sat up from the floor, his laughter dying down. “Oh come now, Tia, you know I can’t go too long without tormenting at least one of your little ponies.”

Her glare darkened. “Prince Blueblood worked very hard on that presentation, and he never even got halfway through it!”

The draconequus rolled his eyes and pouted. “Tia, this was part of the deal! You know I…hmph!”

He cut himself off as the Alicorn suddenly leapt atop him, wrapping her forehooves around his neck and kissing him passionately on the lips, her entire body laying atop his. Finishing the kiss, she snuggled deep into his chest fur. “My hero,” she cooed.

He popped a smart little smirk at that. “Now Tia, what kind of stallionfriend wouldn’t act if he saw his damsel was in distress?”

“I wouldn’t call it distress, it’s just…” she sighed, snuggling even deeper into his fur as his eagle talon ran along her spine, eliciting a mild shiver. “Ugh, I am happy he’s found love, and at how good for him that love has been, I really am! He’s better with Nurse Redheart than he ever was alone, but he still gets so entranced by his own voice! If Redheart wasn’t every bit as head over hooves with him as he was with himself…”

“Tch,” he snickered, his embrace tightening. “Love is weird.”

“Yes,” she mused, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Love is weird.”

“So, what are you doing with the rest of your day?”

“Well, with Luna gone, I should really go prepare for the Night Courts.”

“Ah yes,” his nose scrunched up. “Do you really think giving her a couple weeks away from Canterlot was such a good idea?”

“The timing could have been better,” she admitted. “But you saw how hard she’d been working! She needed to get away from her duties for a while, to recoup, to get away from…”

“…us?” He asked flatly.

She bit her lip. “You must admit, seeing another loving couple still deep in the early stages of full-on romance isn’t the best thing for somepony still trying to relate to others, much less find someone to love her in that way.”

“A bit like salting the wound, yes,” he mused. “Ah well, the Night Courts shouldn’t take you too long, right?”

“Right,” she smiled, hugging him tight. “I still need my sleep, you know, so if you can finish up with the Everfree I think I can make it to bed around…”

Suddenly, the door burst open. “Princess, we…“ a royal guard stumbled in, saw the pair embracing on the floor, and blushed instantly.

Celestia sighed and pulled herself off the draconequus. Though the guards had all been sworn to secrecy about her relationship with the god of chaos, it still would be bad form to share an intimate moment right in front of one. Discord pouted, his body coiling up into a little ball. “Yes, guard, what is it?” She asked, unable to keep the impatience from her voice.

“We better be under attack or something,” Discord grumbled.

“Uh…” the guard took a moment as his mind rebooted. “Oh, yes, it’s the Crystal Empire, Princess! We just received word that the changelings have invaded!”

Celestia and Discord’s eyes flew wide, all impatience and hopes for further snuggles forgotten in a sudden burst of absolute fear and panic. The draconequus's fur stood on end as the Princess took a few shell-shocked steps backwards.

“Luna,” she whimpered.

“Fluttershy,” he gasped.

All at once, both their jaws dropped and they stared fearfully at each other, coming to the same realization. “The GIRLS!”

“All six of the Elements of Harmony…Twilight…” Celestia trailed off.

“Six of the sweetest ponies in Equestria…in the grip of that madmare…” Discord lamented.

“Your majesty?” The guard asked. The Princess turned, her face a blank slate of pure, shocked numbness as she faced him, her jaw working up and down. The guard swallowed. “Wh-what will you have us do?”

In an instant, the shell-shocked look gave way to a glare of blinding determination. “Summon every single active duty soldier and tell them to prepare to march out. Have them pack for winter conditions: we’ll be heading north, and could be entering a siege situation.”

“Yes, Princess,” the guard said, visibly relieved that the Princess was no longer staring numbly into some great, unknowable nothing.

“In addition, I want every auxiliary and home guard unit activated and preparing maneuvers,” she screamed, already pacing on the tile. “I’ll not have Chrysalis catching the rest of Equestria unaware while we go chasing shadows in the tundra!”

“Yes, Princess, as you wish, Princess,” the guard bowed as he left, careful to shut the door quietly behind him.

Discord finally took a few steps forward, resting a claw on the Princess's shoulder. “Tia…”

“Discord,” she replied, her voice even and business-like. “How do you feel about a few weeks up north?”

The draconequus arched an eyebrow, and then a wicked grin crossed his face. He cracked a few knuckles and held his bear paw out to her. “If it’s a war Chrysalis wants…”

She smiled and placed her hoof in the paw. “…then it’s a war Chrysalis shall get.”

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Chrysalis's eyes drooped, her hole-filled legs quaking despite her best efforts (though she had managed to fight them down to a minor quiver). The love from the Crystal Heart still burned in her core; she could feel it fueling every one of her muscles, yet her battle with the Princess had taken more out of her than she could have ever guessed, and creating restraints which could hold her had been no picnic either. Still, this was the show she had been raised for, and the show she had been playing in for the past century or so of her life, so finding the strength to maintain the old façade wasn’t terribly difficult. And yet, as she lounged in the tiny café with a small army of private guards and one of her greatest enemies cocooned at her hooves, she couldn’t help but feel a longing urge to just put her legs up and relax.

Oh! But speaking of the Princess…

“You can drop the charade any time now,” she said, lifting a cup of tea to her lips. “That pod keeps track of your respiration and pulse. I know you’ve been awake for the past ten minutes.”

Princess Luna’s eyes flickered open, immediately morphing into an angry glare aimed right through the goo within her tiny prison. She leveled that gaze on the Queen a split second before maneuvering herself against the far wall of the cocoon. Chrysalis watched with the chitin just above her eye arched as the Princess's rear hooves lashed out in a blow aimed directly at the quivering, gelatinous walls, which of course bounced back futilely, like some sort of ultra-durable rubber. Though she did an okay job of covering it, the Queen took notice of the tiny wince of pain which accompanied Luna straining her wounds.

“Please don’t,” Chrysalis sighed. “The only thing you’ll damage is yourself. Besides, that cocoon is the only reason your wounds aren’t bubbling over with pus right now.”

The Princess paused and eyed the queen suspiciously, who promptly rolled her eyes. “Look, it wouldn’t do if our prey died of some infection before we ever had a chance to feed off them, right? I mean, sitting in one place for hours at a time doesn’t do much for the immune system. That goo you are trapped in has evolved to be antiseptic. So at least remain in there until your wounds heal, then continue your pointless struggling, okay?”

Luna still glared out her prison, but what the Queen said made enough sense to make her stop. That was something, at least. “Good. Thank you. Let me just start with an apology: I had hoped to restrain you more efficiently, but there was a moment where…”

You have misjudged many things in coming here, monster…

Chrysalis’s grip on her tea tightened until a hairline fracture formed in the cup. Still, she kept her face at a steely calm, holding at a half-lidded neutral as she looked down at the Princess. “…I lost my temper. As a monarch, it was a shameful loss of control, and I wish to extend my sincerest apologies for striking you as hard as I did.”

Luna arched a single eyebrow, but kept her muzzle firmly shut.

“The silent treatment, eh?” Chrysalis grinned, making sure each of her razor-sharp fangs was clearly visible to the trapped Alicorn. “I guess I should have expected nothing less. Just so you know, you and your ponies will receive fair treatment while I consolidate my forces here, and within a month we should hopefully be out of your mane.”

Luna kept her eyebrow arched and her forehooves crossed, her mane drifting about behind her in the fluid. Still, she remained silent as the Queen continued sipping her tea. “This is quite a lovely blend, you know,” she remarked. “I do hope you get the chance to taste it at some point.”

“My Queen!” A deep, throaty voice interrupted the one-sided conversation.

Chrysalis sighed and placed her tea on the table. “Terribly sorry, Princess. Duty calls,” she cackled as she rose from her seat and turned.

Bait and Switch bowed before her, dropping the bound ponies at her hooves. “My Queen, we have captured the Elements of Laughter and Kindness, as ordered,” the smaller changeling hissed.

Chrysalis eyed the pair on the ground: the pink one glaring at her and yelling something through her gag, the yellow one cringing and shrinking beneath her rosette mane, trying to become as small as possible while holding her bound hooves up over her face. “Ah, very good. Excellent work, my subjects.”

“Thank you, my Queen,” both changelings enthused.

“As the ones who captured them, you shall have the honor of guarding over these ponies during our occupation of the city,” she turned towards the tavern, still shimmering beneath her magical grip. “See to it that they are cocooned and given their respective duties once we are finished here.”

“Yes, my Queen, thank you, my Queen,” both changelings echoed. Switch gently scooped up Fluttershy in his magic while Bait picked up a kicking and screaming Pinkie, holding her at a distance to avoid her bound, yet still flailing, hooves. Both changelings flanked their Queen, holding the captured ponies in front of them like trophies. Nodding to each in turn, Chrysalis took a few steps towards the tavern. In an instant, a hundred personal guardlings fell in step beside her, completely surrounding the smaller building with spears and shields leveled.

With a single bob of the Queen’s head, the magical shimmer over the building disappeared. “Twilight Sparkle!” She barked, her voice amplified just like the Chrystal Guards’ earlier. “You have already been defeated! Your Princess is my captive, as are your friends! Your brother and step-sister have been restrained! The city is already secured! You have no allies, no friends, no one at all to help you! Surrender immediately and I promise you and the remaining Elements of Harmony will be treated fairly as prisoners of the Changeling Swarm!”

No response came from within the tavern. For a full five minutes, the building sat completely and eerily silent. A few of the soldiers shifted uncomfortably on their hooves, their hearts beginning to race, sweat gathering on their foreheads as they all watched the building with gazes that could have burnt through solid crystal. “She knows I’ve already defeated her Princess,” Chrysalis mused. “Surely, she can’t be foolish enough to attempt a counterattack!”

Then again, this was Twilight Sparkle she was talking about: Princess Celestia’s protégé, and the Element of MAGIC itself. Sure, if things came down to it, the Queen was certain she could take the little unicorn on, unlike that last time when she’d fillynapped those three younger ponies. Things had changed since then. Chrysalis was stronger, running high off of Crystal Heart juice, and she’d already defeated the Princess of Night! Surely, Twilight could see…okay, y’know what? This had gone on for too long.

“If you aren’t coming out, then I’m coming in,” she hissed, stamping her hoof and motioning to a pair of changelings to her right. Nodding, they immediately leapt into the air and darted to the building’s façade, affixing a glob of goo that glowed eerily against the door and hummed and crackled as they produced it. In a second, a glob maybe a foot wide stuck to the frame, and the pair darted back into the line. With a final nod from the Queen, one of the pair unleashed a small, green bolt of hyper-excited magic aimed directly at the blob, which detonated spectacularly. Instantly, changelings swarmed into the building through the gaping, smoldering portal, skittering along the walls, ceiling, and floor as an unending black flood that inundated the structure’s interior. Chrysalis strolled in amidst the swarm as they scoured every single corner, a scowl growing upon her face.

“Oh Miss Spaarrr-kle…” she hissed, a few tables rising from the floor in her magic’s grip and shattering against the walls. “Where arrree yooouuuuuu?”

“My Queen,” a changeling rose from out of the black tide and saluted. “We’ve found something.”

Arching the chitin over an eye again, she motioned for him to continue. The changeling immediately swooped to a spot in the middle of the floor with a small swarm of changelings circling around it, giving the appearance of a whirlpool in the midst of the little black bodies. Nodding to the others, the changeling landed in the middle of the spiral and tapped at the floor with a hoof. A hollow rapping sound rose over the chittering of the swarm.

“No,” Chrysalis grumbled. Could Sparkle really be that slippery!? No, she was just a little nerd that got lucky once or twice, she couldn’t…

Tossing a few of her subjects aside in rage, Chrysalis threw herself at the little patch of wood and sent a powerful magic blast through it. Once the dust and dirt from the blast settled, a gaping black maw revealed itself, yawning wide open, taunting her. “Of course,” she said, shaking her head as her scowl grew, her anger boiling up within her.

“My Queen, should we organize a party to pursue her?” The changeling asked.

“Don’t bother,” she laughed. “E-even if we could assume Twilight and her little friends were still down there and hadn’t disappeared out a hidden exit somewhere, I’d have to personally accompany them or risk losing more changelings. Or need I remind you how many of your brothers and sisters that same group managed to defeat at the wedding?”

The changeling swallowed fearfully and shook his head.

“I didn’t think so,” Chrysalis sighed, trotting out of the tavern and glaring across at the cocoon lying next to her teacup. She couldn’t say for sure, but she could swear the Princess was smirking at her through the goop she was trapped in. Her anger piqued. She tried to resist the urge to pull off that old cliché, but just then, it was so overwhelming, her emotions rising to a fever pitch until finally she could resist no more.

Bracing her hooves, Chrysalis threw her head back, dropped her jaw wide, and bellowed: “SPAAAARRRRRRRRKKLLLLEEE!”

Chapter XIII: Rescue?

“Hm?” One of Twilight’s ears perked. She peered back through the tunnel, nose scrunched up.

“Twi? What’s up?” Applejack asked, peering over her shoulder back at her friend.

“I dunno,” Twilight replied, eyebrows hunched in thought. “I could swear someone was screaming my name in a clichéd yet semi-ironic manner.”

AJ’s eyebrows joined Twilight’s in a scrunched-up look, though this was more in worry than in thought. “Uh…come again?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight sighed, pounding on her head. “I’ve been hanging around Pinkie a lot, and I think some of her…Pinkieness is rubbing off.”

“Ah,” AJ nodded sagely.

“Uh, guys?” Rainbow said, swooping in over their heads. “Couldja keep up? I mean, usually I’d get it, but today, it’s kinda important that you do.”

“Well, pardon me for trying to maintain something of a lady-like posture in the depths of barbarism,” Rarity replied as she trotted out of the low tunnel, brushing a few flecks of dirt from her otherwise impeccable mane. When she stepped out into the alleyway just outside their little tunnel, she nearly stumbled into a mud-filled puddle, only to pause once and clear her throat, hoof still hovering over the filthy water’s surface. Immediately, a pair of crystal stallions materialized at her side, one of whom laid a frilly doily across the puddle’s surface while the other braced his back against her hoof, supporting it. Both stallions wore goofy grins on their faces before slinking away and bowing.

“Thank you, gentlestallions,” Rarity said before trotting along.

“You’re welcome, Miss Rarity,” the pair echoed.

“Da-gum, Rares, you got those stallions trained better’n them Crystal Guardsponies,” Applejack mused as the alabaster unicorn trotted by.

“Well, sometimes all a stallion needs is a lady’s touch,” she replied with a sultry little toss of her mane. Behind them, the last of the ponies from the tavern slunk out of the secret exit, another crystal stallion sliding a dumpster back over the hole, covering it completely.

“That’s quite the effective little escape hatch,” Twilight mused.

“Yeah,” the barkeep said. “The rebels built it during Sombra’s reign. Had it installed in case they needed a quick getaway, seein’ how they liked to use my tavern t’meet all the time.”

“Rebels?”

“Oh yeah,” the barkeep winked. “What, you didn’t think we all bowed our heads and submitted to that tyrant, didja?”

“Much as I’d love to hang out for a little history lesson,” Rainbow interrupted, dropping in between the pair. “We should really keep moving. It won’t be long before one of those bugs stumbles over the tunnel.”

As if to drive her point home, a group of changelings buzzed by over their heads, wings beating at the air. The small group held their breaths, but these changelings were apparently heading someplace else, their eyes focused straight ahead as they sailed right over the ponies.

The group let out a collective sigh of relief. “Changelings,” Twilight whimpered. “I can’t believe we have to suffer through this again.”

“The question is,” Applejack added. “What happens now?”

The entire group looked at each other, uncomfortably shifting on their hooves. Nopony had an answer. “Well,” Dash said. “I suppose we could…”

“SOMEPONY HELP ME!” The cry shattered any calm that had settled in the little alleyway like a brick through a plate glass window. The ponies all eyed one another worriedly, until Rainbow Dash grimaced and landed at the alleyway’s opening, trotting towards the source of the shout.

“Rainbow, wait!” Twilight said, reaching out to her friend.

“No way, Twi. We’re the Elements of Harmony! We’re supposed to help ponies in trouble, no ifs, ands, or buts!”

“Buh-but…”

“You really think that’d be best, lady?” The barkeep asked. “I mean, I’m all for helpin’ somepony in need, but we’re kinda in pretty deep here.”

Rainbow glared back at her friend, then at the barkeep. “No ifs. Ands. Or buts.” She asserted.

Applejack rolled her eyes and trotted up next to her friend. “C’mon y’all, y’know there’s no talkin’ her outta somethin’ when she’s got her head set on it.”

Twilight took a few steps back, and sighed, resigning herself to Applejack’s pure, simple logic. Once Rainbow Dash had her mind set on a goal, pulling her away from it was harder than…well, defending the Crystal Empire from a changeling invasion, apparently. “Okay, we’re going to save whoever that was, fine. But I think Rainbow and I should be the only ones to go.”

The other mares’ jaws dropped.

“Heck no!” AJ barked.

“Darling, you can’t be serious!” Rarity yelled.

“Good enough fer me,” the crystal stallions echoed, already making for the deepest, darkest corner in the alleyway.

Rarity seized each stallion by the ear and dragged them back to the small group of mares. “Twilight, you must know I simply cannot allow you to head out there alone! And I’m sure the boys here would love to lend a helping hoof. Isn’t that right, boys?”

“Well, see,” said one stallion, struggling to free his ear from the mare’s grip. “I would, but I got this limp from an old football injury, so…”

“Yeah, and I’m allergic to having all the love sucked out of my soul,” another chimed in.

“I’m lactose intolerant!”

“I-I always thought of myself as more a lover than a fighter anyway…”

“I have an overactive bladder.”

Stomping her hoof, Rarity turned on the small group and pressed her muzzle right against a random stallion’s nose, glaring into his eyes with flames crackling behind her pupils. ”Right!?”

The stallion swallowed. “I…I suppose I can try to stay off the hoof…”

“I guess getting the love sucked right out of your soul doesn’t sound like it would hurt that much, if you don’t think too hard about it…” the second chimed.

“What’re the odds they’ve got dairy-based attacks on them, anyway?”

“I guess I can always learn to love fighting…”

“I peed a little.”

“Rarity, Applejack, it’s great that you’re so concerned,” Twilight said reassuringly, squeezing each of her friend's shoulders and dragging them away before they could undermine their newfound friends’ stallionhoods completely. “But I really think a small group has the best chance at slipping away if things get too rough out there, and me and Rainbow would be the best at pulling off that escape.”

“Now just what’n the hay makes ya say that!?”

“Well, Rainbow is faster in the sky than you are on ground, Applejack,” Twilight said apologetically, squeezing her friends’ shoulders just a mite harder. “And Rarity, do you really have as much experience with teleportation spells as I do?”

The two mares stammered at that, trying to find some way to argue their friend down, but it was hopeless. Twilight was just too purely logical for them to find a hole in what she had said. Applejack and Rarity sighed. “Ah hate t’agree with ya, Twi, especially when it comes t’admitting Rainbow’s better’n me at somethin’.”

She noticed Rainbow’s mouth opening out the corner of her eye. ”Which don’t happen often!” The country pony hissed, glaring at her friend. Rainbow’s mouth shut again and formed into a haughty little smile.

“Well Twilight, you certainly know how to argue a mare down,” Rarity sighed.

Giving her friends one last squeeze and a hug, Twilight smiled and stepped away. “We’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

“C’mon, you’re talking about Equestria’s fastest pegasus and its most powerful unicorn here,” Rainbow grinned, giving Applejack a good punch to the shoulder and Rarity one last hug before trotting up to Twilight’s side. “What could possibly go…”

Twilight stuffed a hoof in her mouth before she could finish her sentence. “Really? After the hundreds of times things have fallen to pieces right after you said that, you’re seriously going to say it again?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and spat the hoof out. “Let’s just get going, Twi, Equestria isn’t gonna save itself.”

“Although Celestia knows that would be a nice change,” Twilight mused, nodding to her friend as they quietly slunk around a corner and out of the other ponies’ sight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost from the day they met at Rarity’s boutique, Petalgrown and Sprinkleshine had been the best of friends. Two years of sleepovers, lunch soirees, Pinkie parties, Friday Night Pizzas (half-cheese, half-daffodils, thank you very much) and narrowly avoiding certain doom at the hands/claws of the numerous creatures that liked to make Ponyville their stomping ground had served to solidify that bond. In fact, there were times when Petalgrown thought Sprinkles might want to make that bond into something more, but every single flirtatious flick of the tail, half-lidded stare over a shared milkshake, or invitation to the nearest spa was either ignored, or lost somewhere in translation.

At one point, Petalgrown had gone so far as to arrange a picnic just before sunset on Lover’s Hill. Surely, not even Sprinkles’ inherent obliviousness could overlook that. Oh, how wrong she’d been. There they were, resting on the side of a hill, a basket with a few glasses of wine between them, the sun disappearing just over the crest. Petals had looked at Sprinkles, and Sprinkles looked back. Both eyes went half-lidded. Somewhere far away, the violin music kicked into a higher tempo to indicate a huge turning point in their relationship.

And then Sprinkleshine had grabbed a tuna sandwich and shoved it in her friend’s mouth, claiming she had “looked hungry.”

Nonetheless, Petalgrown was a determined mare, and so when Rarity off-hoofedly mentioned a coming vacation to the Crystal Empire with her friends while working on an ever-so-revealing dress for some social soiree or another, Petalgrown had leapt on the idea like a lioness on a gazelle. She had bought the tickets north, booked a room at a hotel (with one king-sized bed, of course), and planned a romantic evening out to the Empire’s best tourist spots and fancy-pants restaurants for every night of the week she had planned there before even asking her friend if she had a week free to head to the Crystal Empire. In hindsight, she might have jumped the gun a little bit there. In any case, Sprinkles had replied with a passive “sure, why not,” and off they went in Petal’s last-ditch attempt at ever having more than a pleasant friendship with the other mare. This had to work, it just had to! An empire of crystals? In the middle of a sunny tundra? With romantic scenes and photo-worthy sights at just about every corner? How could Sprinkles possibly resist! There was no way it could fail!

So of course, this was when fate had decided to drop a changeling invasion down on her head.

“Why me?” She lamented once the first black bodies crashed into the cobblestone just outside the hotel’s lobby. “Why does this always happen to me!?”

“That’s a bit selfish there, dontcha think, Petals!?” Sprinkleshine chimed as the pair hurried out of the lobby, the sound of crashing glass just behind their hooves, followed by that hideous hissing. Pounding through the metal door leading into the stairwell, the friends stomped up the stairs to their room in a wild panic just as a green bolt lit up the wall behind them. Dragging her friend along, Sprinkleshine blew through the door to the second floor and slammed it shut behind her.

“I-I mean, this is happening to me too!” She panted.

“I know, Sprinkles,” Petalgrown rolled her chartreuse eyes and checked on the singed hairs in her curly, red mane. “It’s just that I really wanted this vacation to be something…special for us, y’know!?”

Sprinkleshine turned to her friend, her goldenrod eyes shimmering. “I think I do.”

Petalgrown’s heart soared with hope, if only to take a break from beating in sheer, adrenaline-fueled terror. “You do!?”

“Yeah,” Sprinkleshine smiled. “I was hoping it could be a nice, relaxing week with my best friend in the whole wide world!”

“Ah,” Petalgrown deadpanned and leaned against one of the room doors. “I guess that’s all I was hoping for too.” Yup. All hope was lost. She was going to die alone, and judging by the changelings shooting around outside, that would be much sooner than she’d ever thought.

“Hey, look on the plus side, Petals! I think we’re safe now!” Sprinkleshine beamed.

Petalgrown face-hoofed, and Sprinkles frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“As if things couldn’t get much worse, you have to go and tempt fate like that?”

“Petals,” Sprinkleshine smiled and shook her head. “You don’t honestly believe in that superstition, do you?”

As if to argue Petalgrown’s point, the window at the end of the hallway suddenly exploded inward, a tall, lanky changeling landing just inside, facing the mares. “Forgot changelings could fly, did we, little ponies?” He hissed.

Petalgrown glared at her friend. “Oh hush, this proves nothing,” Sprinkleshine replied as she reared back and bucked her way through one of the hotel room doors, hurrying inside with Petalgrown right on her hooves. Of course, bucking a door in immediately presented the problem of sealing it again once they were through, but Sprinkles seemed to have it covered once she slammed the door shut in the changeling’s face and braced herself against the frame.

“Come out now and make it easy on yourselves!” The changeling screamed in between slamming himself against the door, the wood splintering with each fresh blow. “We control the city as it is!”

“Gosh, I can’t believe you did it again!” Petalgrown grumbled.

“Did what again?”

“Told me I was being crazy and delusional!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at the other mare. “That’s the exact same thing you said when I told you the changelings were probably preparing another attack somewhere, and you didn’t believe me! You always do that, Sprinkles! You dismiss everything I say just because it sounds weird!”

The changeling bashed his head right through the door, his fangs snapping just short of closing around Sprinkle’s throat, who threw herself against it as hard as she could. “Now? You seriously want to do this now!?”

“Yes! Or, no, it’s…I don’t know!” Petalgrown rubbed her head, her eyes clenching shut. “It’s wrong, it’s all going wrong now!”

“Hey, stay with me Petals!” The other mare shouted, her form trembling against each fresh hit. “We’re gonna get through this, and we’re gonna do it together, alright? But I need you to stay focused!”

Petals’ eyes opened, her confusion draining away. All at once, her mind transformed itself into a sharpened razor of clarity, allowing her to sit up and gaze at her friend. Funny, that always seemed to happen around her: just last week, the mare had shown up on Sprinkle’s doorstep in tears, the dress she had picked up from Rarity’s less than a month before in tatters, victim to a horrifying incident involving Pinkie’s pet alligator, an overzealous filly on a scooter, and a rubber chicken. Yet it only took a few moments of comfort and a couple reassurances from the other mare that Miss Rarity would only be too happy to fix it up good as new for her (“She’s the Element of Generosity, remember, Petals? I mean, come on!”) to lay all her fears to rest and replace her calm. What other pony could do that besides Sprinkleshine the pony? Never mind the way Petals shivered right before the feeling of calm materialized, so long as Sprinkleshine was there, Petalgrown could get through anything.

“And-and I need you, Sprinkles,” Petalgrown whispered.

The other mare’s ears perked up. “Wha-what was that?”

Swallowing her fear, the mare on the ground glared up at her friend. Now may not have been the best time for a confession of love, but darnit, this was probably going to be her last chance! Standing up, Petalgrown trotted right up to Sprinkles and gazed into her eyes. “I said: Sprinkleshine, I-“

Just then, the bay windows on the other side of the room crashed open, two changelings buzzing in with their fangs bared. One perched itself atop the quaint oak cabinet set aside for guests’ clothes, the other slamming onto the Queen-sized mattress, his hooves muddying the plain, cotton comforter.

“Of course,” Petalgrown groaned. “Of course I can’t even get that!”

“You’ve given us quite a bit of trouble, ponies,” the changeling on the bed hissed. “Time to give up now.”

“Over my dead…” Sprinkleshine started, only to be silenced by a green bolt of energy.

“Sprinkles!” Petalgrown gasped as her friend dropped to the floor, eyes rolling up. Sobbing, Petalgrown cradled her friend’s head in her lap as the changelings advanced, the door finally giving way and collapsing against the one in the hallway’s attacks.

“No, no, please,” the mare gasped as Sprinkleshine’s tongue lolled out, her eyes still looking dead and cold as they slowly slid shut. The panic came roaring back like a tidal wave, sweeping Petalgrown up in its grasp once again as the changelings closed in. The room seemed to spin, the air suddenly growing unbearably stuffy and hot despite the gaping window. Petalgrown gripped her friend as hard as she could. “Please, please, SOMEPONY HELP!”

The changeling on the bed flittered next to her. “Enough!” He barked, knocking her to the ground with a punch to the jaw. Petalgrown coughed as the changeling started barking orders: “Lieutenant! Secure the mares!”

“Yes, sir!” The changeling on the cabinet flittered over to Petalgrown and secured her hooves as she gazed woozily around, the room sliding in and out of darkness. As the first spurts of goo emanated from the changeling’s horn, she suddenly bolted upright and tried to run away, her mind consumed with panic, only to trip over the bindings on her forehooves.

“Silly pony,” the changelings’ apparent leader snickered as the soldier from the hallway set to work securing Sprinkleshine. “We’ve already won this battle. You and your kin belong to us now.”

Petalgrown looked over to Sprinkles’ unconscious body as she was hauled up by her hooves, suspended upside-down in mid-air as her mouth was gagged shut with another spurt of goo. “Nuh-noo,” she whimpered as a similar gag was placed over her mouth.

“Uh, commander?” The changeling near her friend said, the chitin over one of his eyes raised in confusion.

“Yes, private, what is it?”

“There’s something…off about this pony,” the soldier replied, studying Sprinkleshine like a scientist finding some new sub-species of monarch butterfly.

“Off?”

“Can’t quite put my hoof on it,” the changeling leaned in close to Sprinkleshine’s face, their noses nearly touching. Ignoring Petalgrown’s muffled demands to leave her alone; he looked into the mare’s face, turning it over in his hooves. “Something about her emotions, though, it’s just not quite…”

Suddenly, a purple flash lit up the entire room, blinding everyone. Once the spots left her eyes, Petalgrown gazed up at the familiar face of the town librarian, standing triumphantly on the bed. “Leave those ponies alone!” The lavender unicorn barked, unleashing a flurry of wild bolts from her horn. Regaining their marbles, the changelings replied with a few barely-aimed bolts of their own, which she dodged effortlessly, tucking and rolling on the other side of the bed like a gymnast.

“Keep ‘er pinned!” The commander screamed. “Don’t let up! Keep her…”

A bolt of rainbow burst through the shattered remnants of the window, knocking the changelings off their hooves. Before any could recover, the town’s Wonderbolt-in-training smashed her hooves into each of their faces, back-flipping off the commander’s head to bring her hooves down on the lieutenant’s, finishing off with a spinning hoof kick to the private’s jaw.

“RAINPHOW! TIYIGHT!” Petalgrown gasped.

“Hmm? Oh, Petalgrown!” Rainbow Dash said delightedly as Twilight walked out from behind the bed and peeled the gag off, checking their fellow Ponyvillean over. “Fancy meetin’ you here!”

“Celestia above, I am so happy to see you!” Petalgrown gushed. “Who knows what they were gonna do to us!?”

“Prolly drag you off and drain the love right out of your heart,” Rainbow shrugged.

“Rainbow, a bit of sensitivity, please!” Twilight glared at her friend, before turning back to the mare bound on the floor. “Now, just hold steady, we should have you free in no time…”

“HEY! What’s goin’ on up there!?” A changeling’s multi-layered voice barked up the stairwell.

“Oh good, because it looks like no time is just what we have!” Petalgrown groaned.

“Sweet Celestia…okay…” calming herself, Twilight focused her magic on the bonds around Petalgrown’s forehooves, a beam of light washing around them. They glowed warmly, but didn’t budge.

“T-Twilight?” Petalgrown asked fearfully.

“I’m trying, but…it’s resisting me…” the mare gasped.

Gazing at the shattered door worriedly, Rainbow set to work trying to chew Sprinkleshine’s bonds off, bracing her hooves against the trapped mare’s shoulders as she pulled, but to no avail. “Yeah, Twi? This isn’t working.”

“The bonds must have an inherent sturdiness against anyone but a changeling trying to remove them!” Twilight gasped. “Fascinating…”

“Whoever’s up there, we’re coming up!” The voice returned, hissing up the stairs.

“Can we continue the science experiment somewhere else, poindexter? This whole floor’s gonna be crawling with changelings in no time.” Rainbow said, shifting uneasily from hoof to hoof, trying not to look as nervous as she felt.

“Okay, okay, um…” Twilight bit her lip. “Well, I could try something I’ve been working on, but it hasn’t been tested yet…”

“Whoever you are, you’re in a lot of trouble!” The voice came again, joined by a few sets of hooves clopping up the stairs. “Just give up now!”

“Whatever it is, just do it, Twi!” Rainbow gasped.

“Okay…” closing her eyes, Twilight focused her magic into her horn, little bolts of static crackling off it. The air in the room seemed to charge up, making everypony’s fur stand on end as Twilight opened her eyes, revealing big, white portals of pure power. With a loud thud, a ball of pure, white energy burst from her horn, washing over everyone in the room.

“What’s…GWAH!” The voice came back again before falling oddly silent as the well of energy echoed throughout the entire building.

Her horn smoking, Twilight opened her eyes again. “Well, glad to see that worked out,” she said with a little smile.

Rainbow blinked the spots from her eyes, then looked at the bed and gasped. “Twilight…”

“I know, pretty powerful, right? I based it off of Shining Armor and Cadence’s love magic: you know, what they used to repel the changelings in Canterlot?”

“Twilight…” Rainbow repeated.

“Still, tweaking it to knock changelings unconscious was no easy task, but I think the results speak for…”

“TWILIGHT!”

“What?” The lavender unicorn looked at her friend and finally realized she wasn’t the one Rainbow was gaping at. Eyes wide in horror, mouth agape, the pegasus raised a hoof and pointed behind the unicorn. A chill running up her spine, Twilight finally turned to see what all the fuss was about.

A changeling lay in the spot where Sprinkleshine had been, still unconscious, chest slowly rising and falling. The changeling was obviously female, with long eyelashes beneath her black, chitin-covered eyelids and a little fin that poked up between her ragged ears. Her mouth dropped open, revealing a pair of nubby, rather unthreatening fangs. Petalgrown looked at the unconscious figure in absolute horror, her pupils occupying nearly the entirety of her eyes.

“Oh…my…” Twilight managed to croak.

“Sp-Sprinkles…” Petalgrown gasped.

Snapping out of her stupor, Twilight gripped the mare. “We need to go now; that spell won’t keep those changelings down forever.”

Petalgrown gave her a haunted look, her head slowly swiveling to look at the lavender unicorn. “W-we need to bring her along,” she rasped.

“That’s…” Twilight sighed, biting her lip. “…risky.”

“I don’t care! She’s the only one who knows where the real Sprinkles is!” Petals screeched, her voice edging on hysterics. “Right now, the real Sprinkleshine is scared and alone and probably locked up somewhere, and this thing is the only one who knows where!”

Twilight and Rainbow Dash shared uneasy looks, Rainbow shrugging helplessly. “I still don’t think…”

“Please,” Petalgrown gasped, her jaw working up and down as she hunted for something else to say, only to come up empty. So she just looked hopelessly at the changeling laid out on the floor and repeated herself: “Please…”

“I-uh…ah…” Twilight massaged her temples with the tips of her hooves. I’m going to say yes, aren’t I? She sighed. It was utterly inevitable, really. Petalgrown was right: this changeling was their best shot at saving an innocent pony from the clutches of the enemy, and as somepony who’d just risked her life rushing into an enemy-occupied hotel to save a total stranger, it would be hypocritical of her to ignore that. “Okay, we need to move fast.”

“We can use the bedsheets to keep it tied,” Rainbow shrugged.

Moving frantically, Petalgrown descended on the bed and tore the sheets off in her teeth, twirling them together to form a short length of rope, her breath coming in short gasps. Twilight easily looped the makeshift bindings through the holes on each of the changeling's legs, knotting it before securing the prisoner's muzzle shut with a twisted pillowcase.

"Okay," Rainbow said, tossing the changeling over her back. "We good?"

"Huh-whoever's up there...we're gonna..." that hissing, multi-layered voice appeared again.

"We're good," Twilight said, gathering the other ponies close around her as her horn flickered with another teleportation spell, filling the room with a blinding light before the three mares all vanished, along with their changeling prisoner.

Chapter XIV: Equestria Arrives

Celestia glared at the maps unfolded on the table before her. A gust breezed through the tent’s flaps, a few flurries blowing along the ground and sweeping a few icy tendrils of air up her back. She didn’t shiver.

“Princess,” one of her Solar Guards entered and bowed, taking stock of the tent. For the abode of Canterlot Royalty, one couldn’t get much simpler: it was just a large tent, big enough for her to stand on her hind legs without scraping the tip of her horn against the fabric, with a heavy table setup in the middle, next to a few trunks of extra supplies.

Sighing, the Princess lowered her forehooves from the table and turned to the guard. “Report, if you please,” she said, her royal manners somehow not suffering from being in the middle of the largest military campaign in recent Equestrian history.

Still saluting, the guard stepped inside, pulling his military-issue parka tight around his body as he dropped the scrolls in his grip. “More maps of the Crystal Empire from the Canterlot Archives, Princess: looks like these have the detail on the market district you were searching for.”

“Ah yes, perfect,” she mused, adding the scrolls to the steadily-growing pile on her table. “Now, any reports on the siege?”

“Yes, ma’am: we have secured all main exit points and have pegasi patrols circling overhead. Nothing will get in or out without our knowing it.”

“And…” her voice tightened slightly before she said the word, as if just saying it might cause her to bring the sun itself down to scorch the planet clean. “…the changelings?”

“They’ve already secured the city, Princess,” he sighed, staring at the ground dejectedly. “We’ve spotted fortifications going up within the castle gates, and they appear to have sentries watching the walls and skies.”

“They’re doing what we’ve done,” she snorted, turning back to the table and glaring down at one of her maps. By the look of her, one would think she was trying to stare a hole through one of the crumbling pieces of parchment. “Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.”

“There’s more, Princess,” the guard added. “The changelings left something in the middle of one of the city’s drawbridges. It appears to have been meant for you.”

Arching an eyebrow, Celestia turned as the guard held up a small object, shaped like a beetle with an ominously green, glowing body. “It’s been tested?”

“Yes’m,” the guard nodded. “We tried our best to scan it for any traps; the unicorns say its magical signature is too low to pose any threat to one of your power, although…we never were able to get inside.”

“Why not?”

“It…” he bit his lip nervously. “It appears to be keyed to your magic specifically. It will only open if your solar magic is used to open it.”

“Of course,” she gave a quick chortle and shook her head as she lifted the little object up in her magic, turning it over. All horrors and war crimes aside, she had to hoof it to Chrysalis: the old wench had style. “Guard, remain outside. If I am incapacitated in any way, shape, or form, I fully expect you to inform my High Generals.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the guard kneeled before trotting out, standing vigil at the tent’s entrance. Celestia shivered and placed the object on the table before her, its green carapace shimmering in the light from the sputtering candles on the table.

Carapace… she grimaced at the thought that the word had come to her, but there it was. The damned thing on the table in front of her looked just like a bug, so what other word could she have used for it? Well, let’s see what the evil wench has for me this time…

Tapping her horn against the small, green body, Celestia listened as a few gears whirred into place, a couple pins dropping into their holes. All at once, the thing sprang open, parting down the middle. The body separated just like the wings on a beetle, its two halves swinging away to reveal a tiny ball of light, projecting a shimmering beam upwards. She took a step back, not out of shock, but out of caution. It wasn’t needed, as a few words in shimmering green text appeared in the beam, hovering in front of her eyes. The message was short, simple, and curt, as could be expected of the changelings:


SUPPLY CARAVANS WILL BE ALLOWED IN ONCE DAILY

0600 HOURS

PONIES ON THEM WILL BE SEARCHED AND RELEASED

WILL SEND ENVOYS TO NEGOTIATE SUPPLIES AND TERMS

WE HAVE THE NIGHT PRINCESS

WE HAVE THE ELEMENT BEARERS

WE HAVE THE CRYSTAL HEART

DO NOT TEST US


The moment Celestia’s magenta eyes scanned the last word, the light vanished and the beetle snapped shut. A moment later, it was gone, melting into a sizzling pile of goo that evaporated within seconds. Celestia took a deep breath, inhaling slowly, then exhaling through her nose. “GUARD!” She barked.

The guardstallion practically materialized just within the tent’s entrance, hoof already raised to his brow in salute. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Gather my High Generals, we’re going to need a tribunal started five minutes ago,” she stated, her manners finally starting to pack their bags and head south for warmer weather.

“Yes, ma…“

“In addition, have every unit commander work out rotating shifts for their unit. I want every one of them capable of presenting at least five extra soldiers every morning at 0500 hours, sharp.”

“Yes, m…“

“And contact the quartermasters attached to each supply company. I want a tally of every single spare MRE, water canteen, antibiotic dose, anything we can conceive of that a regular, civilian-packed city might possibly need, as well as wagons enough to transport them all, and I want that tally on my desk by sunset.”

“Yes…“

“And send couriers to Canterlot. Tell them we need a steady chain of extra supplies traveling here ASAP. I don’t care how they work it out, just tell them we need convoys bound for the Crystal Empire in motion by this evening, and make sure they know this is an order directly from me.”

The guard and the Princess stared at one another for a few moments, the guard running his tongue along his lips as he raised an eyebrow expectantly. Celestia rolled her eyes. “That will be all.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He barked before rushing through the tent flap and into the cold, perpetual winter that dominated the North.

The Princess sighed again and swooned the table, her back hunched, her eyes holding a steely glare to them. Her ivory-white feathers quivered with each breath as she rested her head in her hooves, careful not to put any stress on her horn. Finally, she tapped a hoof against the wood of the table three times, gave a short pause, and then knocked twice.

Slowly, one of the chests next to her bench creaked open, the old hinges squeaking. A green cloud of mist poured out as a long, snake-like form materialized from inside, humming an odd little tune that escalated as he stretched himself out, eventually stepping into the light with his hands held over its head. “Da-da-da-DAAAAAA! You found A BOYFRIEND! Press START for sex and snuggles!”

The Princess deadpanned completely. The draconequus arched an eyebrow, and then uncoiled himself to swoop down next to her ear. “Just so you know, by ‘start’ I meant my penis,” he whispered.

“Report,” she said with an exhausted sigh, her eyes going half-lidded just to hammer home that she was in absolutely no mood for his games.

Discord’s smile faded. “Right,” he said, straightening up, popping every bone in his spine at once. Suddenly, his usually naked form was clad in a long, blue jacket with frilly, yellow shoulder pads and blanketed in medals that had such descriptive pictures as ice cream cones and clasped monkey hands. Donning a pith helmet and covering his face in camo paint, the draconequus looked his lover right in the eye.

“Ma’am, them thar bug bastards have done taken the whole gosh-durned city. Ah cain’t, fer the life a’ me, find a single weak point in their defenses. That thar bug bitch has this place locked down tighter’n yer mama’s pussy the day after yer daddy buys her a set a’ golf clubs fer her birthday.”

“Were you able to enter the city proper?”

“Naw. Erry gate’s got a whole mess a’ magic detection spells on it, mostly alarm-type spells. Felt too risky t’even hang out that long.” He sighed and snapped his fingers, the helmet, jacket, and camo paint vanishing in a sudden burst of yellow light and sparkles. “Not to sound like I was afraid, perish the thought! But I didn’t want to risk missing something and triggering an alarm. I know I’d be perfectly capable of defending myself no matter the situation, but the girls…the hostages…”

“No no, I understand,” Celestia nodded sagely, her eyes closing. “You made the right choice. It would have been foolish to risk the safety of the hostages for the sake of a recon mission.”

To the outside observer, the Princess would have appeared to be the picture of strength: head held high, eyes closed in contemplation of their next move. It didn’t fool the draconequus one bit. He caught the mild quiver in her wings, the tiny glisten near her eyelashes that could only be tears, the near-imperceptible hitch in her voice.

“Tia,” his voice grew surprisingly gentle as he slowly laid a bear paw against her face. She nuzzled into his touch, eyes opening to reveal tears welling up. “She’s going to be okay. They all are. Chrysalis may be an evil bitch bent on global domination, but she isn’t stupid enough to try and shorten an Alicorn’s Christmas card list like that.”

“I know, I just…” her breath came out in quick, shaky gasps as she wrapped her forelegs around his midsection, sinking to the bench with him as tears continued to soak his chest fur.

“I know,” he whispered, stroking a talon through her mane, which slowly dimmed with the setting sun.

Chapter XV: Flutters 'n Switch

Switch sighed and looked himself over in the mirror, taking a few deep breaths. Sure, he looked scary: his chitin shone intimidatingly, and he’d sharpened his horn to a supremely deadly point, but this was still an Element of Harmony he was dealing with. She was one of the six most powerful ponies in Equestria, and while she may have been a scared little pile of yellow butter before, these six had almost single-hoofedly turned back the changeling invasion of Canterlot with nothing but their own, raw fighting skills. There was no such thing as being too cautious around one of them.

Checking to ensure his scar was displayed prominently, Switch nodded to himself in the mirror and practiced his standard “intimidation” looks. There was the “angry bear” (snout scrunched, fangs bared), the “waiting cobra” (angry glower with upper lip snarled), the “stone-cold badass” (little smirk with snout turned upwards, which wasn’t much of an intimidating look but he always loved to flash this face whenever he was about to launch into a fight). Okay. This was it. He was ready.

He crossed the room to the large cocoon set against one wall, the distinctly pony-like form floating around inside, hooves over her eyes, just as he’d left her. He scowled. Sure, she looked frightened, but he too was familiar with the book of deception. This could very well be chapter three, section five: feigning weakness to drop the enemy’s guard.

With a flick of his head, his horn sliced right through the front of the tissue, the goo still held in place by the walls of the cocoon as its facade fell away like a flower in bloom. A big, green, gooey flower that smelt like somepony’s B.O.

The pegasus known as “Fluttershy” cringed at the fresh exposure to light, shivering at the bottom of the goo pool. Summoning up “waiting cobra,” he hissed at her: “Get out.”

The pegasus shivered harder and curled up into an even tighter little ball. For an instant, Switch relaxed, but then the scowl resurged. Don’t fall for it, Switchy, one slip-up and far more than yourself will be in danger. “I said get up!” He hissed, reaching into the goo and pulling the pegasus to the surface.

She whimpered and shivered, just a bundle of trembling feathers in his hooves now. He sighed: either this was the real deal, or she was a better actress than any changeling he’d ever come across. At the very least, he might as well play along for a while. “Please,” he added.

The pegasus stopped shivering for a quick moment and slowly pulled her face out of her hooves, peering at him from just over her curled forelegs. His eyes widened. It has to be a trap, he mused. Nothing is that cute by accident. No one is hardwired to be that adorable.

Regaining his composure, he swiftly reapplied a layer of goo to her wings while she whimpered. “Do not try to escape,” he stated flatly. “We are in complete control of the city. You wouldn’t make it far, not without your wings, and this will make double sure of it.”

With one, deft movement, he reached into a hidden spot next to the cocoon, producing a leather collar with a padlock that he quickly locked around her neck. Tears welled up in the pegasus's eyes as he affixed the collar, and Switch scrunched up the chitin on his forehead, taking note of the salty smell that entered the air. Tears, and a lot of them, he realized. Aw jeez, was she crying the entire time!? Now that’s commitment to a part!

Acting or not, it wouldn’t do if this pony dropped dead of dehydration. Not when she had a job to do. Without another word, he backed away from the cocoon to the private bathroom in the crystalline structure’s side, retrieving a glass with water. No longer to his surprise, when he returned with the glass hovering alongside him, the pegasus had curled up into a little, shivering ball of feathers on the ground.

Sighing, Switch reached down with the glass and lightly tapped the side of her head. She looked up, still quaking, a few tears trickling down her cheeks. “Drink,” he stated. Eyes wide, she looked to him, then to the glass, giving it a little sniff. His eyes rolled. “Yeah, because if I wanted to kill somepony who was restrained and half my size, I would totally use poison after freeing them from a cocoon built for the express purpose of holding them in one place. C’mon, drink.”

Still shivering, she slowly puckered her lips out and allowed him to tilt the glass back, eventually letting her take it in her hooves. She emptied the glass in no time at all, panting when it was emptied. “Thank you,” she whispered as she hoofed the glass back.

His eyes widened. That’s the first time…dangit all, Switch, get a hold of yourself! Regaining his composure, the changeling just nodded as he set the glass down. “Your cocoon can handle most of your bodily needs, but it can only do so much if you cry out half the salt and water in your body over the course of a couple hours. So go easy on the crying, yeah?”

She nodded ever-so-slightly, her head bobbing so mildly he would have missed it if he wasn’t looking right at her. “Okay,” he sighed, heading over to the one door leading out of the room and nudging it open. “Now, c’mon: there’s work to be done.”

Rising to trembling hooves, the pegasus followed the changeling down the hall, trotting past windows being sealed over with more of the green changeling gunk. Fluttershy’s eyes drifted away from him, watching the changelings work on the window in awe.

“Keep up, please!” Switch called over his shoulder. She looked to him, then back to the window, where a changeling peering in hissed at her. With a frightened squeak, she took off down the hall and nearly crashed headlong into her captor, her eyes squeezed shut in panic. A few inches short of a collision, though, he lifted her up in his magic, allowing her hooves to gallop futilely against air for a while before she finally thought to open her eyes. He glared up at her, summoning at least a bit of anger as he tried to decide if that really was a panicked run or a clever attempt at escape.

“I told you not to try escaping,” he growled.

“I-I wasn’t…”

“Save it. You’re just lucky we’re already here,” he hissed, opening the door nearest to him and shoving her in. He listened to her whimper in the darkness for a moment before slipping in next to her, flicking on the lights. Her eyes widened at the sight of dozens of little green mounds, with large craters at their center. Throbbing with a strange life of their own, they almost looked like…

“Welcome to the Nursery,” Switch droned, grabbing a tether from off the well and adding it to the padlock around her neck, ensuring it clicked shut. She never even noticed; she was too transfixed by the changeling-styled cribs lining the walls. He turned away from her for a second, giving the bolt securing her tether to the wall a few tugs. “You will be working here for the duration of our occupation, feeding the hatchlings with your own, natural love. Now, I don’t want to hear about you not ‘being willing’, or calling them disgusting little…”

“OOoooohhhhhhhh, look at you!” She gasped. He whirled in place just in time to watch her rocket across the room, straining the tether to its greatest length, and scooping up the nearest hatchling in her forehooves. The tiny, black bundle was wrapped in a baby-blue blanket, its little face exposed as it slept blissfully, a little nub of a horn poking out of its forehead.

“You are just too cute!” The pegasus gasped, nuzzling the baby changeling. One of its tiny, pupil-less eyes poked open, and the little bundle peered at her. She gasped almost ecstatically. “He’s looking at me! Do you see this!? He’s looking at me and he’s so adorable!”

Switch watched, completely dumbstruck, as the pegasus shivered again, this time with the tell-tale sign of a changeling actively feeding on its prey. Yet still, she held the tiny bundle as if it were her own son being dragged away in a flash flood, love just pouring from her heart until the changeling yawned, its nubby fangs exposed.

“Oh, you tired, sweetie?” She cooed, giving the changeling a tiny kiss on the forehead, right at the base of its horn-nub, before laying it back in its crib. “Sweet dreams, little one, sweet dreams.”

Her ears perked at the sound of another little, black body stirring. “And who is this?” She asked, turning to scoop up another bundle. This changeling cooed and burped, a bubble of spittle forming in its mouth as its little eyes locked with hers. The high-pitched squeal she promptly emitted would be studied for years afterwards, baffling the greatest scientific minds who, until that moment, thought they had discovered the precise range of frequencies a pony’s throat was physically capable of producing.

She went on like that for a solid twenty minutes, refusing to slow down until every hatchling was tucked in with its belly full and its little forehead smooched. She finally trudged back to the large changeling standing guard at the door, his eyes still wide in pure shock, and nearly collapsed, saved from slamming face-first into the ground only by his quick reactions, catching her in his hooves.

“Jeez,” he gasped, hurriedly unlocking the tether around her neck and tossing her over his back. To his surprise, one of her eyes slowly rolled open and gazed up into his, her pupil narrowing as she reached a hoof out. For a moment, he thought she might be trying to escape, only to lay those thoughts to rest once she reached out to one of the cribs and started dragging herself towards it.

“I…need…to make sure…this one…got tucked in…right…” she panted, barely able to talk from the exhaustion and sheer effort it took to peek into the crib and gaze down at the little face within. Switch’s face flushed a deep fuchsia and he jostled her loose.

“C’mon, you need rest,” he said gently before hurrying out the door with her still clinging to his back, galloping down the hall and back to her holding room. Quickly, he dropped her into her cocoon and sealed it shut again, his breath coming as quick, short gasps once he had her safe inside her holding cell. He watched her silhouette in the goo as its hooves curled up beneath her chin and she fell fast asleep, her breathing slowing immediately.

“So…cute…” he managed to gasp before dropping to the floor, clutching at his chest and twitching violently. “HNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHH…”

Author's Notes:

Never underestimate a weaponized Flutters.

Chapter XVI: Pinks and Bait

Pinkie braced her hooves against the bottom of her prison and kicked off, swimming through the goop to the top of the tiny cocoon and circling back down again. It wasn’t much, but it was the only way she could work off some of her energy. Oh man, being cooped up in such a teeny-tiny prison was ssooooooooo boring! How could anypony be expected to hold still in a tiny little green thing when her friends could be in serious danger!? Still, she wasn’t trying to break out; she’d long given up on that. This cocoon thing was just too super-sticky and bouncy for her to have a hope of ever getting out by herself. So for now, she would just have to wait, no matter how totally super boring it was! Seriously! Life-threatening danger aside, there was nothing to do in there except float, jump around, and make spit bubbles in the goop, and that last one got boring ages ago! Boring, and possibly life-threatening. She wasn’t sure what the spit-to-goop ratio was to keep her alive, but she sure didn’t want to test it.

A black shape filled the front of the pod, blocking out her vision. Oh, thank Celestia! Finally, something was happening! Even if that something might be her captors dragging her off to some unspeakable torture, so long as it was some form of input, she didn’t care.

The goop peeled away in front of her, and she burst out, breathing the fresh air greedily, her lungs drinking it in until spots formed in front of her eyes. Still gasping, she slumped to the floor, panting heavily, her eyes blearily looking through the hazy light. A smaller changeling stood over her, reared up on his hind hooves, forehooves raised and poised as if he were about to pull off some karate.

“You should…really…stick some...air holes in….these things…” she moaned.

The changeling hesitated, then slowly descended back on all fours. “Air holes are unnecessary: the goop supplies all your body’s needs, pony,” he hissed, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Still…real air…is better,” she gasped, heaved, then suddenly bolted to her hooves. “So hi there! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”

The sudden shift in tone nearly knocked the changeling right off his hooves. He shook his head to clear it, and glared down at her. “Names are not important, pony: I’m the guard here to make sure you don’t try anything funny, and that’s all you need to know.”

She grinned. She’d been hoping he’d say something like that. “Oh, do you not have a name? That’s super-super sad! I heard some ponies say changelings don’t have names and I thought: how could they not have names? I mean, really, could you imagine how you’d call someling over? It’d be all: ‘oh, hey there, you! No, not you, the other you! The one with the black chitin! No, not you!’ I mean, it’d be super-duper confusing, just…”

“Bait!” The changeling screamed, jamming a hoof into her mouth as the other clamped over one of his ears. “It’s Bait, alright!? My name is Bait!”

She smiled at that and spat his hoof out. “Okey-dokey! Hi, Bait!” She extended one pink foreleg in greeting.

He squinted at her, glaring her way as he backed up against a wall, pulling a small object down from a hook by the door. “Don’t think I’m that easily fooled, pony.”

“What’s that?” She asked innocently.

“I’m here to make sure you don’t try anything funny,” he said, advancing on her with the little object in his magic’s grip.

“Nothing funny!?” She gasped. “But…funny is all I do! Funny is my life! Funny would be my middle name if it wasn’t already Diane!”

He blinked, shook his head again. “Not that kind of funny! I just meant I’m here to make sure you don’t try to escape or blow something up!”

“Oh, really?” She beamed at him. “A li’l changeling like you is supposed to keep me here? Like when I babysit the Cakes’ twins?”

He huffed at her, stomping his hooves and snorting. “I am not little! Besides, you shouldn’t underestimate little guys, especially if they’re as smart as me.”

“Really? Are you as smart as Twilight!? Or is it more like smart-aleck, because I’ve met a lot of stallions like that and they’re usually huge meanies,” she wrinkled her nose. “Well, I’ll tell you one thing, mister, just ‘cause you talk down to everypony doesn’t mean…”

“No! I meant…uh…you know what, why don’t I just show you?”

“Ooh, show me how?” She asked, bouncing up and down like a filly waiting for a treat, that constantly-fluffy mane bouncing with her.

“First, you gotta close your eyes,” he said, smiling reassuringly.

She paused at that and frowned, her mane finally taking a brief pause to catch its breath. “But why?”

Trying not to get distracted from the panting sound coming from the mare’s mane, the changeling scrambled for an answer. “It’s…a…surprise!”

“Surprise!? Oh man, I love surprises!” She gasped, resuming her hopping.

“I figured you did,” he replied, shaking his head in a way that mimicked an eye roll. “So close your eyes now, or you’ll spoil the surprise!”

“Okey-dokey!” She replied, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Now,” he pulled the thing from the hook out and held it in front of his body, close to the carapace of his chest. “Keep them closed, but stick out your tongue.”

Nodding in the darkness behind her eyelids, Pinkie obeyed, her tongue poking out just a bit between her lips.

“No, no, no! You’re gonna need to do better than that!”

She poked out her tongue a few inches further, eyes squinting with the effort. She heard his hoofsteps approaching on the floor. “Like thith?” She asked.

“A little further…”

She added a few more inches, her tongue poking out a good half-foot now.

“C’mon, I know you can do better! Show me whatcha got!”

Taking a deep breath, she extended her tongue out like a rolling tape measure, leaning forward until it finally ended with a little ‘k-chunk’ after 12 feet. “How’th thith!?”

“Perfect,” he hissed beside her. She smiled inwardly.

“Thucker,” she said before bringing her rear hooves up in a side kick, lashing out as her tongue rolled right back into her mouth. She grinned at the feeling of something soft connecting with her hoof, listening to a crash as it smashed against a far wall and rolled to the floor.

“Gotcha! I can’t believe you thought I was that…” she opened her eyes, and trailed off upon seeing a pillow lying where she’d expected an unconscious changeling. A simple message, drawn up in crayon, was taped to the front: ‘Nope.’

“…stupid…” she managed before something smacked against the back of her neck.

Pinkie looked up to find the changeling grinning down at her, hooves stuck to the ceiling, his fangs plainly visible, yet it wasn’t a predatory smile. It was more like a smile of victory. “Don’t feel too bad for yourself,” he chortled. “Most changelings would’ve fallen right into that, but I’m not most changelings.”

“How did…”

“Ventriloquism: just one of my many talents,” he replied, flittering back to the ground. “Among others, such as changeling magic.”

He tapped a hoof against the hardwood floor, and suddenly the blob on the back of her neck expanded, creeping across her back and encasing her entire body before hardening, leaving her as just a fossilized pink blob in the middle of a new, completely immobile prison. “Just a little precaution in case you wanna try any more funny business,” the changeling smiled, leaning against the pony-shaped, green-tinted-pink rock with pride. “One tap of my hoof and you lose any and all mobility. It has a pretty decent range, too: more than enough to encompass the city. So unless you think you’re in any shape to beat a marathon record, I shouldn’t have to point out how pointless trying to run would be.”

Another tap of his hoof, and the rock liquefied and retreated back into a little stone latched to her back. She gasped, and immediately craned her neck to scowl at the blob, setting to trying to gnaw it off. “Don’t think that’ll work, either,” he added. “The epoxy bonding it to you is stronger than any superglue. Only I can remove it without tearing the skin off your back. And don’t think knocking me out or killing me will fix anything: if I lose consciousness and you’re not in your pod, the blob will activate its ‘rock’ state automatically, and only I or another changeling can get you out of that.”

He smiled haughtily as she glared at him. “Really, it’d be in your best interest to make sure my heart remains beating,” he continued, studying his hoof with no small amount of pride. “So unless you wanna spend the rest of your days staring up into nothingness, probably acting as a piece of statuary in our beloved Queen’s throne room, you’ll do what I say.”

The pink mare glared up at her captor. He glared right back, meeting her eyes with that cocky little half-smile. “You’ve really thought this through, huh?” She asked.

“E-yup,” he replied, inadvertently copying one of the few stallions in Pinkie Pie’s life.

Suddenly, her glare softened right back into that bright, cheery smile. “Wow! You really are smart!” She gasped, springing back to her hooves.

“Um…” he said, taken aback by her compliment. “Th-thank you. You’re…uh…you’re not too bad yourself.”

“Oh, you,” she giggled, which earned an odd blush rising on his cheeks. “You’re the one who beat me at my own game! Hardly anypony’s done that before! Or…should I say anyling?”

“Um…whatever you want is good, I guess,” he shrugged, honestly unsure of how to respond. “You seem…pretty alright with being a prisoner.”

“Oh, that? I’ve been captured plenty of times,” she replied, those brightly-lit, baby-blue eyes locking with his as her voice continued in its sing-song tone: “It never sticks, though!”

“We’ll see about that,” he huffed, turning towards the door. “C’mon, I still gotta show you what your job’s gonna be.”

“Job? I already have a job, silly-billy! I’m a baker back in Ponyville!”

“We are well aware,” he replied, kicking the double-doors open and motioning for her to follow. “That’s why we figured you’d be best suited for this task.”

Curious, she followed the changeling through the double-doors and into a massive room. Tiled floors gave way to sleek, crystal-coated ovens, shelves, pantries and pans lining the walls, with numerous islands interspaced throughout holding cutting boards and cutlery. The Royal Kitchen! So that was where she was being held! The Crystal Palace itself! Oh man, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence would not be happy about this, wherever they were.

As happy that she was to finally see the inside of the kitchen (such a sight was forbidden to tourists, even personal guests of the royal couple), it came with the bitter reminder that the Crystal Empire had fallen, and now her fate, and the fates of all her friends, was entirely in the hooves of another Queen. A Queen who had not only expressed her hatred for the peace and harmony that drove all of ponykind’s actions, but had also tried to take them over by force on at least one occasion, brutally invading their lands during a wedding ceremony, no less. Still, losing hope wouldn’t do any good. The changeling next to her would probably just feed off of that, somehow.

“Our Queen has heard of your exemplary skills in baking,” he said, pulling one of the pantry doors open to reveal a mountain of flour bags. “She would like you to serve as her personal chef during our occupation of the city.”

“Wait, why does a changeling need food? Dontcha guys just feed on love?”

“Doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy a good cupcake or something every now and again,” he replied flatly.

“CUPCAKES!?” She rocketed up to him, appearing as a pink blur for a second as she zipped right up into his face. “You guys like cupcakes!?”

“It was just an example!” He replied, holding his hooves up defensively. “I’m pretty partial to them myself, but…”

“Oh man, we’ve got to make us some cupcakes!” She exclaimed, retrieving a pair of aprons from a hook on the wall: one a frilly pink with a large heart in the middle, the other plain with pinstripes. Tying the pink apron around herself, she promptly tossed the pinstriped one Bait’s way.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he said, snatching the apron out of mid-air. “What’s this for?”

“Well, how else are you gonna help me make this stuff without getting batter all over yourself, silly?” She giggled.

“Help?” He looked down at the apron. “I’m just supposed to supervise. Y’know: make sure you don’t try to poison anything?”

She gazed around a kitchen island at him, eyes wide, bottom lip quivering. “You think I’d do something like that?”

Bait shifted uncomfortably, averting the gaze. “I dunno…maybe…”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she laughed, shooting over to the pantry. “We’ve got a lot of work to do! And besides, what better way to make sure the food isn’t poisoned than to make it yourself?”

He opened his mouth to argue, and then closed it. He knew she was right. There was no arguing with that logic! Sighing, he tied the pinstripe apron around himself and followed the mare into the pantry, looking around for her. “Pinkie?”

“Here!” She cried cheerfully from the summit of flour-sack mountain, a good twenty feet in the air. “Wow, look at all this! This might just be enough!”

“Enough!?” He gasped, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. “We’re just baking for the Queen and some of her staff, you know that, right!?”

“Oh, I know!” She replied, letting out a quick, little yodel from the highest peak of the flour pile and planting a pink flag emblazoned with her cutie mark by her hooves. “But I’ve never gotten to bake for changelings before, or had so much supplies at hoof! We could run all sorts of baking experiments with this stuff!”

“All of this?” He whimpered, the mountain looming in his pale, flat eyes.

“Eyup,” she replied, skiing down to him and landing at his side. “Isn’t it wonderful? With this amount of supplies, we could probably keep experimenting and baking and baking and baking and we’d never, ever, ever have to stop!”

He looked at her smiling face, then up at the massive pile of flour. Somewhere within it, he could swear he heard a mountain goat bleat. “Sweet Chrysalis, what have I gotten myself into?”

Next Chapter: Chapter XVII: Lulu 'n Chryssie Estimated time remaining: 10 Hours, 37 Minutes
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