A Princess and Her Queen

by kildeez

First published 14th of February, 2014

They came as conquerors...but they will leave as something new. Bonds will be formed in the occupied Crystal Empire, love will blossom, and secrets long-buried will be uncovered.

They came as conquerors…but they will leave as something else.

Princess Luna and the Mane Six are sent to the Crystal Empire after a break-in at the Canterlot archives, unaware of an impending attack. Soon, the Princess of Night finds herself taken captive, alongside Pinkie and Fluttershy while the rest of the Elements are forced underground.

However, something seems different about the invaders, especially their Queen. Soon, bonds begin to grow between captors and captives, especially once Luna discovers she has more in common with the Changeling Queen than she could have ever imagined.

But even as the ponies come to realize that changelings might not be the monsters they always thought they were, elements within the changelings’ own ranks move to return their race to the old, ‘pure’ ways of hunting and domination, and their plans could very well bring Chrysalis to her knees and spell doom for every single one of the Element Bearers.

Can newfound love really triumph over all, or will old hate prove too powerful for even the Elements of Harmony?

Cover courtesy of the wonderful WillisNinety-Six

And yes, there will be Chrysluna in later chapters (as if the cover wasn't enough of a hint), as well as changelingXFluttershy and changelingXPinkie :)

Chapter I: Prisoner Interrogation

For the first time in his life, Nightshift the bat-pony prayed for things to settle down.

In spite of the hundreds of hours he’d spent with his muzzle buried in Daring-Do novels, the countless nights spent on his knees praying to whoever might be listening for a bona-fide action-packed super-crunchy adventure of his own, and the hours spent diving sideways onto his bed in view of his bedroom mirror with a pair of imaginary crossbows in his grip, right now, he just wanted to crawl back to the bank of security monitors he called home and prop his hind hooves up on his desk again. Now that he thought about it, that desk was awfully cozy. Much cozier than the interrogation chamber he found himself in, at least. Back there, he had a plush chair that reclined when he wanted it to and was only just starting to squeak when it moved, a vending machine full of snacks behind him, the soft flicker of the monitor banks, a Daring-Do novel and a dollar for the vending machine hidden in the desk drawer; yep, definitely more comfortable than this craphole.

Here, the magical lights flickered and buzzed constantly, and the coffee tasted bitter without his secret stash of creamer, and his head still hurt from the black eye the creature on the other side of the glass had given him. Plus, he didn’t get the solitude he so loved in his normal job. Instead there were two other bat-ponies with him, three if you counted the guy who’d had to go to the bathroom. Still, he sat there, standing vigil in case the prisoner tried anything, even though it had been shackled to the metal desk in the room, which in turn was bolted to the floor and covered in enough magical enchantments to make Discord’s head spin. So really, this job was as boring and calm as his regular one, just less comfortable. Well, perhaps that wasn’t true. Here, the show was better.

Nightshift sat bolt-upright as Lieutenant Nocturn slammed his hooves onto the metal table, rattling both it and the chained creature. “Just give up now, changeling! We know what you’re up to!” He barked, his nostrils flaring beneath his helmet. Yep, he had gone in there in full armor, as if he expected a threat from a changeling that was not only secured to the desk, but was also at least a head smaller than the ponies holding him, with one chipped fang to boot.

Yet Nightshift couldn’t suppress the chill that shot down his spine when the creature tilted its head up and simply smiled knowingly, flashing both its good and its bad fang. “Oh, I highly doubt that, pony,” the creature hissed in that strange, multi-layered voice all changelings possessed in their natural form. “I came up with this plan, after all. I bet as far as you know, I’m just another infiltrator looking for love to steal.”

Nocturn slammed his hooves on the table again, causing another stir from the prisoner. “I am a Lieutenant in the Night Guard of Canterlot palace, you will speak to me with respect!”

“Y’know, if you keep slamming your hooves like that, you might break something,” the changeling pointed out with a nonchalant wave of its hoof. “I’m just saying, because this table looks pricey.”

Nightshift couldn’t help but allow a smile to break out on his muzzle. This guy was funny, for a love-sucking monster that had once attempted to conquer his nation. It was a shame they were natural enemies. Maybe not as fierce as the changelings were with the other pony races, but enemies nonetheless.

Nightshift winced as the Lieutenant reared back and slammed a hoof across the changeling’s jaw, eliciting a surprised yelp, but nothing more. The pony to Night’s left winced and averted his eyes, but the one on his right didn’t even flinch, his yellow eyes remaining locked on the one-way mirror. To his credit, Nightshift himself managed to suppress a shiver, and even kept his eyes open, though they narrowed down to little slits. He didn’t even look away when the door to the tiny room swung open.

“Hey guys,” the guard who’d gone to the bathroom said. “I miss anything?”

Nightshift started to open his mouth, but the pony on his right cleared his throat, narrowing his eyes and glaring so hard that if looks could kill, Nightshift felt he would have been sent right to his own funeral: black wreaths, mourners, and a pre-written eulogy all ready to go. Then he followed the other guard’s gaze to the reason for that look: a small microphone built into the wall, right above the one-way window.

“Nope,” he said simply, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. The newcomer looked at him, spared a glance at the prisoner, who by now had recovered and was sitting upright, then shrugged and pulled up a chair, seating himself behind the trio just as the Lieutenant started in with the half-crazed tirades again.

“You think you can just do this!?” Nocturne barked. “You think you can just walk into Canterlot castle, attack a couple guards, and insult one of the finest guardsponies in all of Equestria!?”

“One of its finest soldiers?” The changeling gasped, cradling its aching jaw. “Aw jeez...I’m sorry, I had no idea I’d insulted one of Canterlot’s finest!”

Nocturne regarded the changeling suspiciously. “Really, now?”

“Yeah, really, I’d like to apologize for insulting the bravest, most competent soldier Canterlot has to offer!”

“Well,” Nocturne took a step back, chest thrusting out in pride. “I would like to say I…”

“So couldja do me a favor and tell him how sorry I am when he gets in?” The changeling asked, the apologetic look on his face immediately turning into a sarcastic grin. “Not sure I’ll have a chance to do it myself.”

“Oooohh,” Nightshift gasped, eyebrows rising. He had to hoof it to the little guy: that buggy had balls.

Nocturne’s response was almost instant. First, his dark-furred face flushed a deep fuchsia in pure anger, a vein popping out on the side of his neck, then he was upon the prisoner, smashing him over and over again in the face until the changeling fell limp, his head hanging on the end of his neck. For a second, Nightshift thought he’d been beaten unconscious, but then he coughed and straightened in his seat.

“Hey, I said I was sorry!” The changeling rasped.

“Damn,” Nightshift hissed under his breath.

“Celestia above, that is one tough little bug,” the pony to his left said.

Nocturne’s only reply was another punch to the prisoner’s gut, and though it elicited a choke and a gasp from the changeling, even Nightshift could see the unsure way it connected: the half-hearted, almost fearful way the once-confident Lieutenant had moved with. The changeling’s confidence was starting to erode away his cool, like an indomitable tide against a brittle piece of sandstone.

“Whatever it is you have planned, changeling,” the Lieutenant spat. “The Royal Guard will stop you.”

Nocturne turned to step out of the room, when a low, choked, hacking sound filled the room. At first, it sounded like the changeling might be dying, or trying to cough up his own lungs, and then the sound solidified and became low, cold laughter. The changeling tossed his head back with the laughter, his body rocking back in the chair. A shiver rocketed up Nightshift’s spine, and based on the way his comrades shifted in their seats, it was obvious they were feeling the same way.

“What’s so funny?” The Lieutenant barked, though he couldn’t quite keep a mild quiver from his voice.

“Dude, it’s such a stereotype!” The changeling gasped, panting heavily. “I mean, c’mon! Do you realize what you’ve just set me up for?”

The guard frowned, taking a few steps back from the prisoner, who just flashed him a confident, bloody smile, suddenly looking like a lion waiting in a tall patch of wild grass. “How’re you gonna stop us if we’re already here?” The changeling asked pleasantly.

“What?” Nightshift muttered, eyebrows hunching in his half-visible reflection in the mirror. “What the heck does that…”

He trailed off as a green flash erupted behind them, with a touch of a cold breeze, just like the kind that accompanied changeling magic. He looked up and saw a massive changeling reflected in the glass, at least a couple feet taller than him, with a deep scar running over one milky-white eye and the other gleaming an emerald green.

“Oh, shi-“ he had time to mutter before a couple hundred pounds of muscle descended upon the trio.

Author's Notes:

Rewritten! Yes, I know, it's been a while. Go ahead and yell.

Chapter II: A Little Bait and Switch

The changeling held a hoof in mid-air, still levelled expectantly at the empty glass of the one-way mirror. The pony with him followed his pointing hoof, then looked back at his prisoner in confusion. “What are you doing?” The pony asked.

“Already…here!” The prisoner repeated, his chains rattling and clinking as he pulled his hoof back and jabbed it out again. Once again, nothing happened.

The guard’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay, how hard did I hit you? Because I didn’t mean…”

The glass suddenly exploded inwards, a swivel chair sailing through and crashing against the table. “What the-“ the guard managed, but the prisoner didn’t allow him to finish. With the pony’s back turned to the new distraction, the changeling slipped the small piece of metal he’d worked into the lock on one of his cuffs and twisted, the cuff snapping open instantly. With a flick of his wrist, the chain whipped out and wrapped around the guard’s neck, catching him right in the Adam’s Apple. Exerting a simple tug, the changeling whipped the guard back towards him while unleashing a single bolt of magic that knocked the guard’s helmet askew, exposing the back of his head to a single, incapacitating blow.

Gasping, the changeling wiped a dab of fluorescent green blood from his lip and glared at the broken mirror. A massive, but lanky, changeling stood just within the shattered frame, grinning in front of three beaten and bloodied bodies. The grin just added emphasis to the deep scar over his face, making his tall form seem even more intimidating. “Hey Bait, you called for a breakout?” He asked.

“Yeah Switch, yeah I did,” the smaller changeling hissed angrily, still wiping blood from his lip. “You wanted to take your dear sweet goddamned time with that!?”

“You seemed to have things under control,” the larger changeling shrugged.

“Oh right, yeah, I definitely had things under control while getting my ass kicked,” Bait grimaced before limping over to his counterpart, accepting a hoof up through the shattered frame and into the main room. Nodding, the pair took off out the door and dashed through the well-kept hallways of Canterlot castle, trotting over plush carpets and past marble statues without a second glance.

“So, you got the plans?” Switch asked, his scar pulsing with each gallop.

“Switch, please,” the smaller changeling grinned, exposing his one nubby fang. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Good, can I see?”

“Well,” a fluorescent-green blush spread over the smaller changeling’s face. “Sure, in a few days, when it passes through my system.”

“What’s…oh!” The larger changeling’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “Dude, nasty!”

“Well, maybe I would’ve had time to vomit them up if someling hadn’t stopped to powder their nose on the way to breaking me out!”

“At least tell me they’re protected somehow!”

“Of course they are! Whaddya take me for!? They’re inside one of my canisters: waterproof, easy going down, and hopefully, easy coming out…”

He cut himself off and screeched to a halt as they rounded a corner, forcing his partner to practically leap over his body to avoid slamming into him. “Dude!” Switch screamed. “What’re you stopped…for…”

He trailed off as he turned his head to where Bait was looking and caught full sight of a dozen spears, all levelled at them from the hooves of an equal number of guardsponies. “Shoot,” Switch grumbled.

One guard, a solid-white stallion in full-gold armor – the leader, obviously – stood up from behind the back, safe behind the line of spears. “This is your one and only chance!” He announced. “Surrender now, or we’ll run you through!”

“Uh…” Switch glanced out the corner of his eye at his partner. Bait just smiled knowingly, a faint, green light building in his eyes. Switch couldn’t help but return the grin as he turned back to the line of spears. “How about instead, you surrender to us? Trust me; it’ll save time for everyone.”

The guard smiled cockily, then leaned in to the line of ponies before him. “Turn ‘em into shish-kabob,” he muttered.

“Yes, sir!” Each stallion screamed, rushing the pair as a single line of stomping hooves and flashing weapons. Amidst a chorus of snorts and battle-fuelled yells, the changelings just stood there, apparently more interested in the tile and scanning their own hooves for imperfections than on the line of ponies descending upon them.

The guardstallions charged right over the changelings, and their commander grinned, believing he was perhaps just a few moments away from victory. He watched his guards’ lances approach the changelings, and his grin widened. Then he watched the lances begin to puncture chitin, and his grin turned into a triumphant sneer. Then he watched the lances pass right through the changelings, and his grin froze in shock.

The guardstallions nearly tripped over themselves while the changelings dematerialized, falling into a massive dog-pile. “Where’d they go!?” One yelled.

“Hey, hey! I see ‘em, over there!” Another cried out from beneath the pile of pony.

“No, no, they’re over there!” Yet another shouted, a spear poking up out of the pile and waving around futilely.

“Guys, what if they changed into one of us!?” A final pony shouted fearfully.

The guards all sat there in stunned silence for half a second, then they all pounced on one another, clubbing, punching, biting, and slamming each other with the flats of their spears. The group descended into absolute chaos with the enthusiasm of Shining Armor’s old high school Dungeons and Dragons club at a manga convention, interspersed with occasional cries of ”Ow! It’s me, you nincompoop!” And ”That’s just what a changeling would say!”

For his part, the captain just stood there, his jaw resting on the tile as his professionally-trained guardsponies ripped each other to shreds, falling into the kind of chaos usually reserved for soccer riots or shopping centers on Black Friday. When the dust settled, one beaten and bloodied stallion emerged from the pile of his unconscious comrades, his armor scuffed and his helmet askew, looked around, and laughed triumphantly. “I win!” He proclaimed. “I win! For Equestria!”

Then one of the decorative shields hanging on the wall promptly flipped off its perch and landed behind him, shifting in mid-air back to the large, scarred changeling in a quick flash. “You’d think so, but no,” he announced before his partner suddenly darted out of the pile with a lightning-fast spinning hoof kick that clocked the remaining guard across the jaw, sending a bloody tooth to land at his captain’s hooves.

The captain looked at the pile of unconscious ponies that used to be his unit, then back at the pair of changelings standing over them. He smiled. They smiled back. “Could you…” the smaller one said.

“What – oh! Yes, of course,” the captain said and, without any further muss or fuss, he bowed, removed his helmet, and brought it back down against the back of his head with as much force as he could muster, slumping to the ground.

Switch nodded to Bait. “Well, that went well.”

“About as well as it could have, I guess,” Bait shrugged, then the pair took off galloping again, shooting right by the unconscious captain as they pounded towards their destination.

Rounding a few more corners, the changelings came to a stop just within a dead end, pausing just short of a smooth, marble wall. “Okay dude, this is your cue,” the smaller changeling said, looking to his partner with expectation.

“Er…right…” Switch smiled unsteadily, then turned to the wall. “Okay…” he breathed in, then breathed out, then raised a hoof to his mouth. After a bit of fishing around, he pulled his hoof out again with a gagging noise.

“Oh, I don’t believe this,” Bait yelled, his hooves waving around in exasperation. “You didn’t practice like I told you, didja!?”

“Of course I didn’t! Who the hell practices vomiting!?” Switch shouted defensively.

“Besides anorexics?”

“That’s not practice, that’s a mental illness!”

“Look, just tilt your head back, I’ll get this,” Bait held out his hoof, which promptly transformed into a long, smooth cylinder with a nubby, easy-to-swallow end. “Like I always do,” he mumbled as he reached towards his partner.

“Now what the hell’s that supposed to – GACK!” Switch choked as the nub disappeared down his throat, and a split second later, a flood of bile chased after it, rocketing out his mouth and covering the floor.

“And you didn’t even avoid eating beforehand, like I asked,” Bait shook his head angrily, reaching into the spreading pile of puke to grab a couple plastic packets.

“Joe’s Donuts…can’t help myself…” Switch replied, wiping his mouth while Bait tore the packets open and dumped their contents on the floor. In a moment, he had a few gray lumps with strands of wire sticking out of them resting at his hooves. He set about sticking the globs to the marble wall, running more string between each of them until he had a ring a few meters across set up. He waved his partner off, who nodded, wiped his mouth again, and joined him as they ran back around the corner, Bait lighting off a tiny little spark of magic before they took cover behind the wall.

A powerful explosion rocked the castle, nipping right at Bait’s heels. He gave a frightened yip, nearly soaring into the air with the blast, only to be pulled to safety by a strong hoof wrapping around a hindleg, yanking him into cover as the shockwave echoed out into the hallway.

Bait looked over at his friend, who just smiled knowingly. “I think the fuse on that thing might have been a little short.”

“WHAT!?”

“I said I think it might have been a little short,” Switch said, somewhat more loudly. “Also, I think you might have blown out your eardrums.”

“WHAT’S THAT!?” Bait repeated, clopping his hooves against the wall by one of his tattered, black ears. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, MAN, I THINK I BLEW OUT MY EARDRUMS! THE FUSE MUST’VE BEEN TOO SHORT!”

“No shit,” Switch smiled and rolled his eyes as the sound of approaching hooves clopping on the tile began to echo in the hall. “C’mon, time for phase two.”

“I THINK WE SHOULD JUST MOVE ON TO PHASE TWO,” Bait enthused, pulling out of Switch’s grip and hurrying down the hall, where a gaping hole now stood where a wall once had. “YOU READY!?”

“Of course I’m ready,” Switch affirmed, tapping his insect-like wings. With a flash of green fire, they transformed into a pair of green, veiny parachutes, lying flat against his back like a couple of wrinkled sacs. “Are you?”

“I’M JUST ASKING BECAUSE I’M GETTING READY,” Bait added, his wings following suit as he reached into a fold in his chitin and pulled out a pair of goggles, which he immediately snapped over his face. Taking a few, deep breaths, he approached the edge of the hole he’d just made, looking down. Beneath his hooves, the edge of Canterlot palace dipped off into a vertical drop, plummeting hundreds of feet down sheer, purplish rock wall to some green splotch that might have been a farmer’s field. Bait’s knees locked upright as he peered ahead, staring into the clouds passing by the castle. “JUST…Y’KNOW, GIMME A MINUTE!”

The hoof-clops drew nearer, and now a few voices became audible as well, whispering ”Where are they!? and ”How did they break out!? and the classic which would have drawn a smile to Switch’s face if their situation hadn’t been so dire: “Celestia above, what happened here!? Looks like the aftermath of one of Princess Luna’s midnight raves!”

“We don’t have a minute!” Switch barked.

“WHAT!?”

“Okay, y’know what? This joke stopped being funny a long-ass time ago,” reaching deep into himself, Switch grabbed a tiny bit of love and broadcast it to his friend, shivering at the icy-cold finger that ran up his spine as the touch of energy jumped into his friend, instantly racing to his ears. A faint glow appeared around the little, tattered black points, slowly fading into nothingness as they worked their healing magic. “Now, is that better?”

“WHAT!?”

“I ASKED IF THAT WAS BETTER, DAMMIT! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?”

At that, Bait turned and smiled politely. “Of course I can hear you, Switchy. You’re standing right there after all, no need to shout.”

Switch deadpanned at his partner, one of the corners of his mouth turning down slightly, then he gave the smaller changeling a good, hard shove that sent him sprawling right over the edge and into the abyss, his forehooves pinwheeling frantically.

“That was a joke YOU DIIIIIIiiiiiick…” Bait’s voice cried as he plummeted.

Switch only had time to treasure his vengeance for half a second before somepony behind him called: “YOU! Stop right there!” Then he also hopped over the edge and dropped out of sight, the smooth rock face of Canterhorn mountain whizzing by his unarmored chest before his mind could even adjust to the fact that he was falling.

Suppressing his initial disorientation, Switch twisted around until he was facing downwards, spotting a little black speck somewhere further along down the mountain. Rolling his eyes, he angled downwards and dove right at it, aiming for a spot a little to its left. Sure enough, Bait was thrashing desperately with his self-made parachute, twisting it into knots and tugging and pulling only to wind up even more entangled, and all the while his screams filled the air.

Grimacing, Switch dove at his partner, thankful that the air rushing through his ears at least drowned out his partner’s girly cries of terror. He seized the smaller changeling by one flailing hoof, pulled him in tight, and in one deft move, untangled him and deployed the parachute. Bait instantly shot over his head, the chute deploying and slowing his descent. Satisfied that his partner wasn’t about to make himself into a black stain on the face of Canterhorn Mountain, Switch yanked his own chute into position as well.

By now, Bait had calmed enough to stop screaming at least, and was gasping breathlessly as Switch drifted over to him, sailing at his side. Still gasping, Bait looked up at his partner and swallowed to clear his throat. “I don’t – I don’t like heights.”

“I know,” Switch replied neutrally. “Dude, you’re the one who planned this out. If you’re so scared of heights, why did the escape route involve a parajump!?”

“No other way…to get off Canterhorn…fast enough…” Bait panted, his chest rising and falling spasmodically. “Besides…I read that…overloading and confrontation…is best way…to conquer fear.”

“Hmm, well, is it?”

Bait took one peek down at the drop remaining, saw nothing but a couple hundred feet between him and the patchwork of farmland below, and instantly clamped his hooves over his eyes while suppressing the urge to wet himself.

“I’ll let you know when we’re back on solid ground, okay?” He tried to say this sentence jokingly enough, but it came out as a shaky squeak instead, so he settled for just drifting along in that terrible void, trying not to think what would happen should his wings snap and his magic be disabled somehow and leave him tumbling helplessly to his certain doom on the rocks far below.

“I don’t get it,” Switch shook his head. “How many times have we flown around the hive’s inner chambers, hmm!? Or over the Everfree?”

“That’s different! There, I’m in control, and there’s always a building or a tree or something just waiting for us, something to grab onto! Up here…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Up here, the world was just so very big, impossibly huge. Ask Bait to soar through the Everfree, missing treetops by inches, and he would do it without a second thought. Ask him to infiltrate Cloudsdale and run a few laps through the high school obstacle course, and he’d return with a “Wonderbolts #1!” T-shirt and a patch of lipstick on his cheek from one of the cheerleaders. Put him up here, though, where there was no reference point for him to focus on except for the cities that looked like toys somewhere far beneath him, and where he knew he was just hanging by himself with nothing to grab onto should his chute fail…

He swallowed and pressed his hooves even more deeply into his eyes, trying to imagine he was back home, in his little corner of the hive, with a book perched on his soft, black stomach. “J-just tell me when we’re on the ground again, okay?”

“Okay,” Switch assured him. “Hey, Bait?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re here.”

Bait looked down tentatively, and sure enough, the ground dangled a few inches below his hooves, a few blades of grass just out of reach. He turned, spying Switch standing a few yards away with a malicious grin on his muzzle and a little, green glow on the tip of his horn, signaling a levitation spell.

“You ASS!” Bait flailed around spastically. “You sonofabitch! How long!?”

“Oh, a few minutes,” Switch shrugged while grinning wickedly.

“DICK!” Bait waved his hooves threateningly as if he were trying to claw his way through the few feet of air between him and the other changeling. Any other time, Bait would be able to send his partner flying with a quick burst of his powerful offensive magic, or would be able to use his superior changeling magic to overpower the levitation spell through sheer, brute force. But at the moment, between the fear which had been screaming through his mind and the anger that burnt there now, he couldn’t even think to do anything but hover there and flail.

“Hey, you made me puke; I’m just leveling things out!” Switch stuck an accusatory hoof in his partner’s chest. “Friends don’t make friends puke, alright!?”

“You watched as those guards beat the tar out of me!”

“And then I saved you from your own stupid bomb!”

Bait narrowed his eyes and crossed his forelegs over his narrow chest. It was time to bring out the big guns. “Let me down, or I’ll tell the whole swarm about Mr. Sprinkles.”

Switch’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

Instantly, the green hue around Bait’s body vanished and he dropped face-first to the ground with a low thud. Pulling his face out of the mud, he grinned. “I figured you’d see things my way.”

“Asshole. If I hear a word about Sprinkly around the hive…”

“Nobody’s gonna hear about Sprinkles, y’big baby,” Bait grinned and shook his head as the pair took off towards the lights of the closest village, slinking through the grass until they reached a dirt road leading through the town center. Adopting pony disguises, the pair easily slipped past the town border, creeping into streets emptied for the night and lit with only the occasional street lamp. At this late hour, not a single pony was awake in such a tiny town. Just as planned.

“Another job well-executed, partner!” Switch chimed happily. “Y’know: but for the fact that we’ve gotta wait for your digestion to spit out the goods.”

“Which actually won’t be long at all,” Bait whispered, holding up a little metal canister and averting all eye contact.

“Hey, you got it out! How’d you manage…oh, wait…” Switch looked to his friend, his nose wrinkling. A fluorescent-green blush crept over the smaller changeling’s cheeks. “You really don’t like heights, huh?”

“I really don’t like heights,” Bait replied, ambling over to the city fountain with the container dangling out in front of him.

“Dude, that is…just gross…”

“I know, I know, just let me check on the goods.” Bait unscrewed the canister and pulled out a small roll of paper. Tossing the canister’s halves aside, he spread the paper out in the dirt road, Switch keeping his eyes on the houses around him.

“So, we’re good?” He asked.

“Switch, my man, do you even have to ask?” Bait proclaimed proudly, holding up the large square of paper proudly.

Atop a series of indecipherable squiggles and lines, in the corner of the ancient, cracked paper, Switch could make out a small label in the corner: Crystal Empire proposed sewerage expansion plans. He grinned. “Right from the Canterlot Archives. Nice.”

“And they won’t even know what’s missing until it’s too late,” Bait said proudly, returning the grin as he rolled the paper up and stuffed it beneath one of his wings, tucking it safely amongst the fake feathers. “Because who would ever miss some ancient sewer plans?”

“Bait, my man, you know what this calls for?”

Bait arched an eyebrow. “You want to do it here? In the middle of a pony city?”

“You said so yourself: nopony’s awake at this hour in such a Podunk little town.”

Grinning devilishly, the smaller disguised changeling locked hooves with his friend. It started with a quick chortle in the back of their throats, building to a giggle and a snicker. Then the pair threw their heads back, preparing to unleash a torrent of evil laughter as they had practiced for hours before, their voices ready to roll off the building facades and bouncing throughout the town, when a high-pitched shriek pierced the night, echoing off somewhere in the distance and cutting them short. They blinked at one another, eyebrows hunching in concern.

“Did that sound like…” Switch started.

“Forget it,” Bait interrupted his partner, a hiss sneaking into the smaller changeling’s disguised voice. “Let the ponies deal with their own problems, we’ve gotta get back to the nest.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Switch looked around, the worried look spreading over his features. “Still, that sounded like a mare in pain, didn’t it?”

“Switch, what if it’s a pony trick, hmm? Did you even think of that?”

“How could that be a trick?” Switch arched an eyebrow at his partner, suddenly grateful to have an eyebrow to arch. “Ponies think we’re monsters, remember? Why would a mare’s cry for help lure us in?”

“Because…it suggests… dammit!” Bait bit his lip, and finally stomped a hoof on the ground in frustration. Switch didn’t outthink him often, but he hated it when he did. He stomped off, his magic grabbing the other changeling and dragging him alongside. “Alright, let’s go get ourselves killed on the off-chance that some random mare we’ve never met is in trouble.”

“I knew you’d see things my way,” Switch chimed, wrenching free of his partner’s magic and taking off with him, the pair weaving through darkened alleyways and dim streets with an ease that only creatures born in darkness could ever know.

Author's Notes:

Introducing a couple of our heroes: Bait and Switch, the changelings!

Chapter III: Bar Fight

It all started when Neon Glow decided to spend the night clubbing, hoping to finally snag "Mr. Right" at some tavern somewhere. Sure, the last few times she'd tried this hadn't worked out so well, but like they say, twelfth time's the charm, right?

The night had started out like all the others: free-flowing booze, floozies in too much makeup grinding their rears against the crotches of dudes in too much hair gel, and her nursing a martini alone at the bar, the closest she got to a conversation being when the barkeep asked if she wanted a cherry in hers tonight. She'd turned it down. A cherry would've seemed too fillyish.

And then he showed up. The stallion with the slicked back, but not greasy, hair and the easygoing eyes and the natural, sing-song cadence to his voice. He'd slid up next to her, plunked down two bits, and asked for a bottle of Summertime Sandy, as well as another round for "the pretty little thang next to me." She'd almost fallen out of her barstool twisting around to make sure there wasn't some other mare he could be talking about, and when she was 100% sure there wasn't, she'd nearly fainted from excitement. They'd struck up a conversation, during which she'd discovered his name was Derek, he was from Manehattan and here on a business trip of sorts, just checking out the local tavern scene when wouldntcha know it, he'd found the most beautiful mare in Equestria sitting all by her lonesome in a dive like this. She'd giggled at that, partially from what he was implying, mostly from all the martinis he kept buying her.

Then he popped the question: "Wanna head back to my place?"

That's when things finally started looking sketchy. She was drunk: anypony who'd had as many martinis as she’d had would be. So some strange stallion suddenly showing up to take her back to his place had to raise a few alarm bells. She was no swooning filly; she could smell a rat when it was sitting in front of her, even when it was wearing some handsome stallion's skin.

"N-no thank you," she replied. "Listen, I'm flattered, I really am, but I've drunken way too much to go with anypony tonight. I think I'll just head home."

Just as she slid out of her stool, his hoof clamped on her shoulder, and a feeling of dread washed over her. "Maybe I wasn't being clear," he said, his voice taking on a dark tone she would've sworn could never have been there just a few minutes before. "When I've put this much time, effort, and money into somepony, I think I've earned a little reward. Don't you?"

She turned on him, eyes blazing. "You seriously think you’ve earned the right to violate me just because you bought a few drinks and chatted me up for a while!? How self-entitled can you get!?"

His eyes locked on hers, a scowl deepening across his face. Obviously, that wasn't the response he’d wanted, but what the hell did he expect!? For her to just toss her hind legs open for him at the drop of a hat!? Apparently so.

"We're done here," she said icily, trying to wrench free of his grip. His hoof remained firmly locked on her shoulder.

"I'm afraid we're not," the stallion replied. "You see, my friends and I would be extremely disappointed if this evening didn’t end with some ass."

Her heart rate picked up a few beats at that. As he spoke, every stallion at the bar stood and formed a circle around her, a solid wall of stallions that enveloped and imprisoned her more tightly than any jail cell could. She was totally sober now. No being drunk when one was surrounded by an entire friggin' gang of nasty-looking ponies.

The barkeep flinched, looking like he was reaching for something under his countertop, but a quick stun spell from one of the unicorns in the group put an end to that, a blue bolt of pure energy nearly flipping the aging stallion head over hooves and leaving him semi-conscious on the floor, a few drops of his higher-quality booze trickling onto his head.

She screamed then, though later in her statement to the police, she would swear she didn't. She just remembered a high-pitched sound coming from somewhere, she didn’t know where, and then a hoof smashing against her cheek while one of the stallions shouted for her to shut up.

The whole bar fell silent, the ponies on the dance floor pausing and gaping. Someone, at least, had the presence of mind to pull the plug on the old-style jukebox in the corner. After that, the stallions standing around the bar all pulled out crossbows and swords and levelled them at the crowd of now-terrified ponies. A few more terrified squeaks and screams sounded, but nopony bolted, thank Celestia. It didn't take a prodigy like that Twilight girl over at the library to figure out what would've happened then.

"Ladies and gentlestallions, for all who have not figured it out, this is indeed a robbery," Mr. Young and Charming said, his eyes taking on a cold quality she must have been too drunk or too distracted to notice before. "If you will please remove any valuables or belongings and hoof them to the fine gentlestallions who will be sent around, we can expedite this entire process and be out of your manes much more quickly."

This is a nightmare, she thought as a couple stallions broke off from the rest of the group, working their way around the dance floor while their partners kept their weapons trained on the crowd. She shivered under the gaze of the lead stallion once he turned his attention back to her. It was funny how she could have spent the night staring into those same eyes not ten minutes ago. Now, it was all she could do to keep from looking away.

“Aw, c’mon babe, don’t be like that,” the stallion said, hopping off his barstool and sliding up next to her. She shivered and broke eye contact as his shoulder brushed against hers. “Most mares would feel lucky t’be in your horseshoes right now. Big, dangerous, charming criminal like me takin’ a shine to ya…”

He ran a hoof through her mane as tears started to well up in her eyes. She looked over at the crowd of terrified ponies, realizing they might as well have been on the other side of the planet for all the help they could lend her. Some of the stallions held the mares nearest to them close while the crooks made their rounds, and for a terrible moment, she thought of how badly she wanted to switch places with one of those mares. Let somepony else suffer through this, just not her.

“I dunno boss,” one of the thugs guffawed. “Y’really think this one’ll last much longer than the last one?”

The last one!? How many more mares had this stallion left behind him? How much company was she about to have in the line of broken mares he’d left across Equestria? Celestia above, she didn’t want to find out. A few errant tears trickled down her cheeks. She hated herself for them, showing so much weakness at a time like this. She wanted to spit in this bastard’s eye, but knew the least that would earn her would be a backhoof across the face, if not a crossbow bolt through a fetlock.

“I know, I know, she’s a bit older than what we’re used to,” Mr. Young, Handsome, and Bastardly replied as the other stallions echoed the same, deep snicker. He latched a hoof around her flank and squeezed roughly, earning a choked gasp that made his eyes light up with horrible delight. “Got a bit more flab too. But hey, more cushion for the pushin’, amirite?”

Around here, her memory got fuzzy. It was like a black shade being drawn over her own mind. That was okay, the police psychologist sent to interview her would say later on, when she sat in the local precinct headquarters with a mug of hot coffee in one hoof and a blanket draped over her shoulders. Memory repression was common in cases like this, he would say. In fact, it would probably be best if they left things as they were. If she didn't want to remember something, odds were they should just leave it be. The bad guys were all rounded up, after all, the only thing she could do now was help them catch whoever left those nasty stallions behind as a neat little present for the local cops. And what were they gonna do with them? Haul them back to the station so the mayor could pin a medal to their chests they obviously didn’t want? And she would agree, thus ensuring she would never remember what happened next.

She would never remember the clopping noise from the corner of the bar. She would never remember the small stallion with the hard look in his eye and the mischievous smile on his lips, sitting at the bar with a half-empty glass of Apple Family hard cider he’d poured himself, bringing his hooves together over and over again in a long, slow clap. She would never remember the easy way he'd scooped up the glass and taken a drink even as one of the crooks swept up next to him and levelled a crossbow on his head from point-blank range. And most of all, she would never remember the way he let out a satisfied sigh before speaking.

“Bravo,” he said. “Bravo, encore, just a true display of villainy, good sir. An absolutely perfect demonstration of pure dickheadishness. Two hooves up. 10 outta 10: would clop again.”

“What was that!?” The stallion screamed, his attention thankfully deflected from Neon’s still-shivering form.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to rape and/or kill a few fillies while you were at it, you sick, rancid pile of gryphon shit,” the newcomer replied, his hoof resting nonchalantly on the bar.

“You might wanna watch what you say there, little guy,” the stallion holding a crossbow on the newcomer growled. “We’re the most feared outlaws in all of Equestria!”

The newcomer stared down the bolt levelled on his head, making eye contact with the stallion at the trigger. “Little guy?” He murmured, though at the time, Neon could swear it sounded more like a hiss, like a cobra getting ready to strike. The newcomer glared daggers at the thug, taking a few more sips of his cider, apparently oblivious to the bolt maybe milliseconds from taking his life.

“Little guy?” He murmured again, setting the mug down, repeating the word to himself over and over again, his eyes on the ground. “Alright, okay…that’s funny…”

He stood up from his barstool, eyes still on the ground. The thug tightened his grip on the crossbow. “Y’wanna know what else is funny?”

Then he shrugged. Or, to Neon, it looked like he shrugged while taking a quick step to the side, right out of the crossbow’s line of fire. The thug jolted back, clutching at his throat, eyes widening while he let out a choked-off gasp. The crossbow practically flew out of his hooves, and in a single deft motion, the newcomer snatched it out of the air and bought it down against the thug’s temple, slamming him against the ground.

It all happened in the same amount of time most ponies took to blink. One moment, the thug was standing there with a crossbow trained on this stallion, the next, the stallion was the one with the crossbow and the thug was on the ground, clutching at his throat and making sounds like a broken valve on a scuba tank. In the stunned lull that followed, the newcomer shook his head at the thug. “And you might wanna remember that crossbows are ranged weapons, and should be used as such, not just waved around like some dumbass amateur actors in a play, big guy,” he said. “See? Now THAT’S funny!”

“Frickin’ kill him!” Mr. Young and Bastardly screeched, and each of the thugs charged, apparently forgetting the newcomer now held a loaded crossbow. He raised and fired one-hoofed, the bolt sailing right through one of the charging stallions’ fetlocks and sending him crashing against the bar, howling in pain. But that was just one stallion of many. In a flash, the incredible, apparently invincible stallion whirled around, shattering the spent crossbow against a stallion’s temple like a club. But still, he was woefully outnumbered. The remaining thugs mobbed the heroic stallion, overwhelming him through sheer force of numbers and pummeling him over and over again.

Mr. Young and Bastardly smiled confidently as he strode over to the pile of writhing ponies, the newcomer at the bottom at the receiving end of an endless number of blows. Finally, the thugs’ leader raised a hoof. “Okay, stop,” he said. “Spread him out.”

The thugs all grinned as they paused long enough to spread the newcomer out by his hooves, each holding one of his legs down. The now beaten and bloodied stallion spat a red glob out on the floor and glared up at them from a pair of blackened, bloodshot eyes, and then he smiled. “Well, I thought it was funny.” He said.

Mr. Bastardly and Young just grinned his cold, predatory grin before smashing his hoof down on the newcomer’s stallionhood, relishing the wretched, high-pitched shriek of pain the stranger let loose. “Do you have any clue who you’ve been fucking with!?” He hissed, smashing a hoof into his captive’s stomach. “Do you have any clue what I’ve done!? I’ve robbed a hundred joints like this! I’ve left behind a trail of terror a thousand miles long! To some ponies out in the boonies, I’m the Celestia-damned third coming of Nightmare Moon!”

He leaned in close, still grinning ear-to-ear. “So who the hell are you to take me on?”

The stallion spat again, out the corner of his mouth this time, to avoid catching the thug in the eye. He took a few deep, heaving breaths, and for a second, Neon thought he was just going to puke all over himself. Then he returned the grin and gave his reply: “The distraction. Or did you not notice the extra pony on your team?”

Mr. Young, Handsome, and Very Surprised had time enough to raise his eyes before one of the stallions around him clocked him across the jaw. This pony stood up, straightening to reveal every sinuous muscle in his massive body. He made his partner look like a little weakling, and most of the other stallions in the room like insects. Mr. Young and Handsome went sprawling as the others tried to contain this strange, new pony, a pair rushing up with daggers clenched in their hooves. It was like trying to contain lightning.

The newcomer twisted out of their paths, hooking his forehooves in the crooks of their legs and smashing their skulls together. As they slumped to the floor, the last thug standing rushed up behind the newcomer and wrapped his hooves around his neck, grabbing him in a chokehold that would have spelt certain doom for any other pony. Instead, this pony slammed his elbows back into his assailant’s stomach, throwing himself against the bar and grabbing one of the thug’s hind legs in between his own before rolling over. The maneuver ended with him lying on top of the thug, a hind leg firmly in his grip, his forelegs wrapped around it. Still tensed against the hold, the stranger wrenched back until a sickening crack filled the room.

“MY LEG!” The thug howled, releasing the chokehold in a panicked attempt to claw at his opponent. “YOU BROKE MY LEG!”

The pony’s only response was to twist around with an uppercut against his jaw, followed by a skull-bash that knocked the thug out instantly. Breathing heavily, he stood on his own, firm hooves. And that was it. In less than five minutes, these two ponies had reduced half a dozen heavily armed, extremely dangerous stallions into a pile of moaning injuries and barely-conscious groans.

Neon Glow stood on her own, shaking hooves, watching her rescuers in awe. Most of the other ponies had already fled, dashing out the back entrance the moment the thugs all turned their attention on the newcomers. She hadn’t even noticed, only watching the pair as the larger stallion helped his friend back to his hooves.

“Once again,” the smaller stallion said. “Didja want to take a little longer with the rescue there!?”

The larger only glared as he helped him up. “That’s just whatcha get for threatening Mr. Sprinkles.”

The smaller stallion’s jaw dropped. “YOU’RE STILL PISSED BECAUSE…”

Suddenly, Mr. Young and Handsome darted to his hooves, rolling up and screaming angrily. Before Neon could shout a warning, he reached into a pocket and whipped out a small glass vial, which he flung at the larger of the pair.

“SWITCH!” The smaller stallion cried, leaping into the path of the object. The vial shattered against his skull with a sickening crash, spraying a greenish liquid over his face.

“BAIT!” The larger stallion screamed, his partner dropping out of the air, yelling and rubbing at his eyes. He rushed to his friend’s side, patting his back as he continued furtively running his hooves over the potion-doused area. Neon herself was finally stirred into action, rushing for a glass of water from behind the bar.

“Use this!” She cried, offering it up to the larger stallion.

“Thanks!” He replied, grabbing the glass and pouring it over the affected area. “C’mon, Bait, tell me you’re fine!”

“I-I’m okay!” The smaller stallion exclaimed, a hoof pressed into the affected eye. “I-it stings like hell, but I think I’m fine!”

“Aw, whatta gyp!” Mr. Young and Handsome said, snorting with frustration. “That potion was guaranteed to kill anypony it touched in five seconds flat! Stupid zebra bitch ripped me off!”

The larger stallion turned on him, his muzzle contorting into one of the most terrifying looks Neon had ever seen on anypony’s face. For a second, she could swear she saw fangs growing out where his flat, pony teeth should have been, his eyes burning with green fire. Just for a second though, then he turned to her, a calm, cold look about him. “Watch him,” he ordered.

“I-I will,” she said timidly.

Nodding, he turned on Mr. Young and Handsome, who instantly looked more like Mr. Young and Timid. His ears folded back and he smiled nervously, backing away as the massive stallion advanced: a wall of muscle gliding over the tavern floor. “H-hey man, uh…no harm, no foul?”

Without a word, the stallion reached under the bar, pulled out a cheap bottle of Marelot, yanked the cork out with his teeth, and upended it over the thug’s head. “H-hey!” Mr. Young and Handsome burbled. “What the hell is this!?”

“Sorry,” the big stallion said as he tossed the bottle aside. “I figured you’d want something to make sure those cuts don’t get all infected.”

The thug arched an eyebrow, looking himself over for some injury he must have missed. “What cuts?”

Again without a word, the big stallion whirled on one hoof and delivered a devastating buck to the thug’s chest, sending him flying headfirst through one of the plate-glass windows built into the tavern’s façade, as was practically standard for any tavern where fights tended to break out. Glass shattered as Mr. Young and Not-So-Handsome-Anymore went sailing outside and landed with a deep thud, face scraping through the dirt.

“Those cuts,” the big stallion replied.

By now, Neon just looked on, eyes wide. It was like watching one of those stupid, action-packed plays stallions were always trying to drag their marefriends to, complete with the one-liners and over-the-top action! She didn’t even notice the amount of pressure she was putting on the smaller stallion’s face until he winced.

“Oh, sorry!” She gasped, easing up. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” the smaller stallion smiled at her, and looking at him, she realized just how much smaller he was. Even she had a few inches on him, and she was short by mare’s standards! Still, that didn’t detract from this inherent handsomeness he held, this attractiveness that seemed to come from within him. It was like some huge geyser of self-confidence like she had seen in so many other stallions, most of them irredeemable pricks. But not this one. No, definitely not this one.

A mare could absolutely fall in love with this one, she thought. His partner too, probably, but this one especially.

He kept that winning smile on his face and said, “Don’t worry about it; I’ve been worked over by guys way tougher than these losers.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“It’s not. I mean, it’s not nearly as glorious as I’m sure you think it is, but it’s a life.”

She smiled at him, turning back to the bar to refill the glass. She had to lean over the bar to reach the spigot, meaning she had to keep her back turned as she collected the water. “I want you to know,” she said as the glass slowly filled. “What you did back there was very brave.”

“Aww hell, I just did what anyone with the training and know-how would’ve done,” he replied.

“No, they wouldn’t: you know how some ponies are.”

“Well, good thing we aren’t just some ponies, eh?”

She giggled, feeling more heat rise to her face. It was a pleasant feeling, though, much better than the alcohol-induced tipsiness she’d felt with the stallion now lying in the dirt outside. “And thank Celestia for that!”

“I guess so!”

“I didn’t catch your name, by the way,” she finished, finally looking up from the sink. “See, I thought I heard your partner call you ‘Bait,’ but I figured that was just…”

She looked up at him, and instantly the smile dropped off her face. The glass fell from her hooves, shattering on the hardwood floor and spraying broken glass and water everywhere, sending shards into every corner where they hadn’t already been. Her knees went weak, and for a terrible moment, she thought she would faint. “Nuh-no,” she whimpered. “Not again. Not twice in one night.”

“What’s wrong?” The smaller stallion asked. His hoof had dropped from his face, revealing what had been unmasked by the potion. The half of his face that had been touched was black and smooth, glossy in the flickering candlelight. She might have mistaken it for a bad burn if it hadn’t been for the beady little eye contrasting with its larger twin, along with the distinctive, raggedy black ear that stood up off of the black half of his scalp.

“Are you alright?” He asked, taking a few steps towards her, reaching out with his hoof.

She shook her head, taking a few steps back and dodging the hoof as if it were poison. “Cha-cha-cha…” she stammered, unable to finish the word in her utter shock.

His eyes darting wide, the smaller “stallion” reached at his face, running his hoof over the skin. His features dropped. “Oh no…” he mumbled.

“Chayy…Change…”

“M-Miss, this isn’t what it looks like!” He gasped, reaching for her again. She swatted his hoof away, still trying to finish forming the word.

“What’s going…on…” the larger stallion had turned, and his eyes widened at the sight of the half-formed creature standing there. At first, she thought he might run and get help, having learned what his partner truly was. Then, her hopes sank when his expression calmed back into an empty neutral. “Oh darn, cat’s outta the bag, huh?”

“Yeah,” the smaller creature said with a sheepish shrug, holding his hoof over his face again.

With a nod, the larger stallion disappeared in a flash of green fire, and in his place stood a massive changeling with a scar over one eye. The smaller stallion followed suit, shifting right in front of her into a smaller changeling with a chipped fang and one eye that still twitched with the effects of the poison. That finally freed her tongue, as if the final illusion being dispelled broke whatever it was holding her voice back. “CHANGELIN…” she managed to get out before a slender, but powerful, black hoof clamped over her mouth.

She wanted more than anything to scream, even more fear welling up within her, overwhelming all other thoughts and instincts. At least the criminal gang they’d just dispatched might have only felt her up a little before releasing her. With these two, this evening could only end one of two ways: either they would drag her back to their Celestia-forsaken hive for the rest of their terrible species to feed on, or they would just suck her dry there and be done with it. Fell for it again, you idiot, they may not be stallions this time, but they still tricked you like a little filly,she thought, a couple more tears dribbling down her cheeks as the smaller changeling pressed her up against the bar, exerting his superior strength to keep her pinned.

“Okay, listen to me carefully,” he said in that hissing, multi-layered changeling voice. She’d never heard it before, but had heard it described by survivors of the Wedding Invasion in newspaper interviews. It was just as horrible as she’d imagined it. “This is what’s gonna happen…”

Oh Celestia… she thought, mentally running through a list of ponies she most wanted to see one last time. Ironically enough, the stallion lying in the mud outside was on that list, if only to see what he looked like all beaten and bruised with dirt rubbed into his wounds. She thought that might be something worth seeing.

“You’re gonna go to sleep, and when you wake up, you won’t remember anything from the moment you first saw me,” he hissed. “You’ll just wake up, and move on with your life, that’s all. Okay?”

It had to be a trick, it just had to be, but before she could even begin to struggle, he touched that ugly, crooked spire of a horn to her forehead and inky, black darkness began to creep in along the edges of her vision. Her vision wavered as he eased her to the ground, slowly laying her out on the hardwood floor. “Just move on,” he whispered. “Just move on.”

A part of her absolutely figured she would wake up in a chrysalis, secured to his back, or perhaps to the big one’s back. Wait, the big what? What was she thinking about? Secured to…secured…safe…she was safe.

Neon took one last look up in her failing vision, and was shocked to see one of those changeling creatures there, standing over her. The shock didn’t last long though, quickly fading into an eerie calm, though some voice in the back of her head screamed for her to run. “Just move on,” the creature whispered gently, and for some reason, she found she liked the way he talked. In fact, something about the way he moved and carried himself, the way he gently laid her out on the floor and backed away, was kinda cute, though she had no idea how she even knew the big bug was a “he” in the first place. There was something so masculine about him, so confident that…

…a mare could fall in love… she trailed off before sleep overtook her.

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Bait watched the tavern from the darkness of the rooftops, his eyes staring passively as a small army of cops and paramedics filed in through the front door, carrying out stretcher after stretcher of beaten and bloody ponies, all cuffed to their cots with the exception of the bartender, who was still barely conscious and covered in his own booze. He stared straight down, only blinking after watching the mare get led out, a blanket over her shoulders and a pair of cops at her sides, offering reassurances as they led her to one of the wagons.

“You alright?” His partner asked, watching him from the darkness even deeper on the rooftop.

Shrugging, Bait shifted again, disappearing in a flash of green fire to become a young colt with a shock of red mane and a single, smaller eye. He looked his reflection over in a puddle of air-conditioner coolant pooling in one corner of the roof. “Almost,” he replied. “Just another couple hours and I’m sure I’ll be able to transform completely again.”

“Good, good,” Switch nodded. “But you know that’s not what I meant.”

The smaller changeling shifted right back into his normal form, still staring at his reflection. What’s so bad about this? He wondered. What do they see that’s so awful? He sighed, fanned his wings, and said, “Let’s get going. The Queen’s expecting us back in the Badlands by daybreak.”

Sighing, the larger changeling nodded and the pair took off, just a couple of dark, rushing shapes, invisible in the black night. Bait continued moping along for a while, even as the small town gave way to the rushing leaves of the Everfree forest. After a few hours of watching pink trees pass by under his hooves, the layer of chitin where his eyebrows would be (if he had them) creased. “Huh,” he mumbled.

“What’s up?”

“I figured out why that potion had that effect on me: it did kill the pony it touched. That pony was just pretend, is all. By ruining the disguise, it forced me to dispel it from existence.”

“Huh, I’ll be damned. I guess we’re lucky it hit you, and not some unlucky pony bastard, eh?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bait sighed. They didn’t talk much after that.

Author's Notes:

Special thanks to Lackrome1 for editing, and TheNextGamer for feeding into my own immaturity.

And just so you all know, the move Switch pulls to finish off that last pony is an actual move taught to US Marines called the Rolling Knee Bar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCDvV9LkZzE

Chapter IV: The Setup

Princess Celestia looked over the shattered glass and felt her jaw clench. Through the broken window pane, she watched her guardstallions as they swept up some of the mess made in the interview room, picking up splintered remnants of the chair and table inside while a pair of unicorns scanned for traces of changeling magic. They did it again, she grumbled to herself. They attacked my city while I slept unaware! They did it again…

“Ma’am?” One of her Solar Guards trotted up and saluted, standing at attention. “We’ve finished interviewing the Lunar Guards from the attack.”

There was a moment’s pause as the Princess considered this information and switched from her own musings back to the world outside. “And?” She asked, concern playing along the edges of her voice.

“They’re beaten up pretty bad, but they’re talking, which is a good sign,” after a moment of thought, he quickly amended, “Well, one of ‘em needed his jaw wired shut, so he’s not so much talking as he is pointin’ and gruntin’, but we got the general idea from him and his comrades.”

“That’s good,” she said with a sigh of relief. At least the damage done to her sister’s newfound Lunar Guard wouldn’t be permanent. “Now, what did they say?”

“All the same story, ma’am: around midnight, they caught a changeling in the Royal Archives, searched him, and brought him here for interrogation…”

“The changeling was male?”

“You know how hard it is to tell even when they’re undisguised,” the guard snorted. “But yes, as far as we know the changeling was a stallion, or at least had changed its form to one. About halfway through the interview, one of the guards left to use the bathroom. Near as we can tell, that was when another changeling infiltrator attacked him and took his form.”

Celestia sighed. She knew the rest of the story, not even needing to listen to the guard as he went on and on about tactics, deception, and countermeasures. It was a story she knew all too well. Once again, she had been caught unaware by a changeling infiltration, and her little ponies had paid the price. Really, that was all she needed to know.

“…and that was how they took down all those guards,” he shrugged as he finished his tale. “Honestly, I’m not sure if things would’ve played out much differently if it had been a full strength platoon that confronted them, rather than a half-strength.”

“Two changelings defeated a half-strength platoon of highly-trained bat-stallions?” Celestia arched an eyebrow at this. “Impressive, as well as concerning.”

“Not truly, if you don’t mind me saying, ma’am,” the guard said. “We all know how skilled changelings are at deception and underhanded fighting techniques.”

“Still, to overwhelm such a vastly superior force that way…” she poked at a glass shard with one well-polished edge of her slipper, her eyebrows hunched in thought. “Have we any clue of their intentions?”

“None, your majesty. As I said, the Lunar Guards searched the original infiltrator they captured, but to no avail. He was totally clean.”

“Very well. Have the Royal Librarians scour the Archives anyway; they must have taken something,” she spotted her reflection in one of the shards and glowered at it. “The changelings are up to something again, and this time, we are going to remain ahead of them. We are not going to fail our ponies again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the guard said, saluting again. “But ma’am, what do you mean by ‘again’?”

“The attack on the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain Shining Armor, of course,” she replied, her gaze still not lifting from her reflection, now regarding it with an utter lack of emotion.

“Um…Princess, with all due respect, we won there,” the guard said, his eyebrows hunching in confusion. “The changelings were completely driven out of Equestria!”

“When my city falls under the occupation of a foreign army, my niece and beloved student are imprisoned by an imponynator, and my own flank is saved only by a stroke of good fortune, I consider it a failure,” she replied before realizing how icy her demeanor had gotten. She turned to the guard sheepishly, with a tiny smile on her face. “My apologies, guard, of course we won there.”

“Y-yes, ma’am,” he replied, though he could still see the false emptiness behind that light, little smile. She was wearing it like a battered mare would wear makeup to cover a black eye, even he could tell that from just one look.

“Is that all?”

“There is one other thing, ma’am,” the guard said, shrugging off the sudden discomfort that had washed over him at the Princess’s uncharacteristically cold tone. “Your sister has been demanding to speak with you since you raised the sun.”

“Ah, I expected as much,” Celestia sighed. That Luna was up this late could only mean she had gone a solid twenty-four hours without sleep. Again. “Show her in on your way out, guard, and then return to your posting.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, finally dropping his salute and striding out the door, head high, shoulders back, chest out, as he’d been trained. Celestia watched him go, and suppressed a giggle when he reached the door and was immediately knocked off his hooves by a midnight-blue blur rushing by, completely oblivious to his presence before pausing right in front of her. Celestia blinked and found herself looking right into her sister’s bloodshot corneas.

Here we go… she sighed to herself, preparing a muffling spell to protect her eardrums.

“Whence art they!?” Luna intoned in her Royal Canterlot Voice, her words screaming off the walls. “Whence art the venomed, swag-bellied scuts responsible f'r these attacks!?”

“Sister, dearest, please remain calm,” Celestia insisted, though she knew it was futile. Talking to Luna while she was in this state was only slightly better than trying to stop an oncoming train by reasoning with it.

“We will not calm ourselves, sister! Ov'r a dozen of our guards art in the infirmary, and still we hast nay moo answers than …”

“Luna, I know you’re upset, but please,” Celestia sighed, massaging her temple. “Regular English, if you can! For pity’s sake, in your rush to have this conversation, you’ve incapacitated one of my guards!”

“What…oh,” Luna replied, turning back to the woozy stallion lying next to the door. “Oh, oh, oh, terribly sorry.” The Princess of Night rushed to the armored stallion’s side, scooping him up in her magic and laying him out over her back.

“So very sorry, sister,” she said, her eyes sunken with worry. “We forgot ourselves in our fury.”

Celestia looked her sister’s worried frame over. The blue alicorn’s mane was frizzled, barely managing to remain adrift as it naturally should have, stray locks sticking out of it at almost every angle. Then there were the bags under her eyes, the hunched-over way her frame bore the weight of the pony on her back, where Celestia knew Luna could bench greater loads in her sleep.

“No kidding,” the Solar Princess said sarcastically, quietly undoing the spell over her ear canals.

“We will take this guard to the infirmary, and in the meantime, thou might brief us on what thou hast learn'd in the few hours we hast been aroint,” Luna said, beginning the trot back out of the ruined interview room.

“No sister, have a guard carry that load, we have much to discuss,” Celestia said, placing a hoof on her sister’s shoulder to keep her from walking away. In truth, she was doing this more for the blue alicorn’s benefit than anything else. Luna was obviously exhausted from leading the search for the changeling escapees, only to come up empty-hoofed. She had only returned to Canterlot so that she could lower the moon for the new day, and for that bit of fortune Celestia was grateful. Heaven knows Luna would have turned over every corner of Equestria, and of the moon probably, if she’d been allowed. Either way, the night-blue alicorn was obviously exhausted, but knowing her pride, would have taken any attempt to say so as a challenge.

Even with Celestia’s insistence, Luna still snorted in annoyance. “Verily well,” she said, whistling once. Immediately, a pair of bat pony guards appeared in the doorway, hooves up in salute. Celestia meant to ask what they were doing still awake, when she noticed their bedraggled manes, closed eyes, and easy breathing.

No way… she mused as Luna walked up to the pair and tossed the unconscious stallion on their backs.

“Take this pony to the infirmary, if you please, and leave us be. We have royal business to discuss in this room,” Luna said.

“SNNNNRRRRKKKKKKK…” One of the guards snored in reply, still saluting. Then the pair turned and walked off, swaying peacefully as they trotted along.

“Were those guards obeying in their sleep!?” Celestia asked incredulously.

“Just one of the many benefits of being the goddess of dreams,” Luna replied just as the guard fell off the bat ponies’ backs and hit the ground with a metallic clang, the bat ponies barely stirring as they continued their sleepwalk. Luna cringed at watching the stallion smash his face against the tiled floor. “Of course, it isn’t without its drawbacks.”

“Of course,” Celestia sighed, stooping over to gingerly pick the guard up and lay him out over the bat ponies’ backs again. “Now, we need to talk about some of the things we’ve found.”

“Of course, sister.”

“As you may well know, the changeling that was broken out of captivity was initially captured in the Royal Archives,” Celestia said, trotting back into the room while closing the door behind her. “What alarms me, however, is one fact most of the guards have overlooked: that he was found near the section pertaining to our ancient records of the Crystal Empire.”

Luna arched an eyebrow in interest. “Intriguing, have we any reports of changeling activity in the north?”

“Some small raids launched against remote outposts and the occasional infiltrator mingling with the general populace, but little else,” Celestia replied. “Still, any sort of outside threat against the Empire worries me greatly. They’re still recovering from Sombra’s siege, and Shining Armor and Cadence have their hooves full just keeping the government running on a day-to-day basis!”

“Not to mention it’s an entire city suffering from culture shock,” Luna mused thoughtfully. “Believe me; I know a thing or two about the displacement that can result from a thousand years of slumber, waking up without any awareness of the changes the world has undergone.”

Celestia smiled wanly and nuzzled the smaller alicorn, grateful that Luna had at least dropped her royal tone while they talked in private. “You’re doing great, Lulu.”

“Tell that to Ponyville this past Nightmare Night,” Luna sighed, rolling her eyes. “Eight months after my freedom from Nightmare Moon’s influence and they still just saw the monster of legends when I arrived.”

“Twilight didn’t,” Celestia pointed out hopefully.

“Oh great, one pony out of the entire village didn’t cringe in fear or wonder if I was going to eat them. I guess I’ve learned the value of friendship now!” Luna replied dryly.

“Well, things worked out in the end!”

“After I nearly canceled a holiday that had been tradition for centuries and terrorized an entire village!”

“And now that same village is begging you to return for next year’s celebration!”

“Alright, one village down, a thousand more to go,” Luna sighed, massaging her eyes as a few more strands of night-blue mane popped out of place. “We’re getting off-topic here; can we get back to the Crystal Empire?”

Celestia’s eyebrows hunched in worry, but she knew better than to push the subject when her sister was so obviously exhausted already. “Of course, sister. We were just detailing the Empire’s preparedness.”

“Which is to say it’s nonexistent,” Luna said, shifting gears from personal woes to matters of state with an ease her sister quietly admired. “Their military hierarchy is outdated, its personnel is undertrained, underequipped, and inexperienced, its populace is weakened by fear and by old racial divisions that most other communities have had centuries to overcome, and its bureaucracy is massive and mired with inefficiencies. Frankly, I’m surprised Captain - sorry, that’s Prince Shining Armor now – hasn’t thrown himself from the highest parapet in the Crystal Palace!”

“Not yet, at least,” Celestia said, smiling with her little sister at the bit of dark humor. The smiles were quick to fade, unfortunately. Celestia had expected to hear as much, but still, to hear it all said out loud bought a bitter taste to her mouth. Sighing again, she walked over to the shattered pile of glass and brushed at it with her hoof. “It is as I feared, then: the Crystal Empire is completely unprepared for modern combat, especially against the changelings.”

“I’m not even sure the Empire’s aristocracy knows what a changeling is,” Luna pointed out.

“We’ll need to step up patrols in the tundra, perhaps increase the frontier garrisons,” Celestia moaned. “At least, until we can prepare it for any sort of changeling incursion, if this break-in is indeed an indication that they are in danger.”

“And at the same time, we need to accelerate the Empire’s integration,” Luna added, a hoof pressed to her chin thoughtfully. “Shining Armor and Cadence are busy enough dealing with the bureaucracy; we need ponies checking things out, evaluating weak points, hunting for the signs of something requiring modernization…”

“Yes,” suddenly, Celestia brightened up, a genuine smile lighting up her face as inspiration struck like lightning from a clear, blue sky. “Somepony who would be able to recognize those flaws, because she had needed to overcome them in herself. Somepony with an ancient eye, but experience in the modern world!”

Luna, being a rather insightful pony, caught her sister’s drift almost immediately. “Surely, thou can’t be serious!” She gasped, inadvertently reverting to her formal, Royal Canterlot tone.

“Oh, why not, Lulu?” Celestia said, practically bouncing up and down like a filly in her glee. “You’re perfect for the job!”

“But we have our duties here in Canterlot to attend to!”

“Oh, pish-posh,” Celestia waved her off with a hoof. “You know I can double up my workload for a little while. I only did it for a thousand years before your return, after all!”

“And not terribly well!” Luna barked. “The Everfree Forest had fallen into savagery and chaotic disrepair before we reclaimed our night! Dost thou realize how much work we have put into taming it again these past few months!?”

“Exactly! You’ve put in a lot of work here, think of it as a vacation!”

Luna crossed her forehooves over her chest and snorted. “As if we needed one. We’re doing just fine, sister!”

Celestia deadpanned, then scooped up one of the larger shards of glass and held it up to mirror Luna’s face. For the first time, the smaller alicorn got a full view of the bags under her eyes, the stress-induced mess her mane had become, the sag starting to creep into the skin on her face. She took one look and bit her lip. “Alright, perhaps thou has a point. A small one.”

“Thank you,” Celestia said, smiling as her sister started striking a few poses in the makeshift mirror. Though she had seen better days, Luna was still one of the most beautiful creatures in all of Canterlot, and as Celestia watched muscle ripple beneath her sister’s skin, she was reminded how she was one of the most powerful as well. Still, a vacation would do her some good. She didn’t need a repeat of the one time she had let Luna handle both the Night and the Day Courts, and had woken up the following morning to find her perched atop a pile of drained coffee pots, vibrating and twitching violently while moaning something about finding a hairless monkey somewhere to do something unspeakable to her with its “fingers.”

“But sister – the Everfree!” Luna whimpered. “We cannot lose all the progress we’ve made, and we know thou cannot handle both it and the Day Courts! Willn’t thou still needeth some help?”

“Yes, well,” Celestia smiled sheepishly. “I was hoping to enlist the aid of someone with just the sort of power to keep the Everfree tamed.”

“Oh, but who?” Luna said. “Who in Equestria might have the sheer, raw power to keep such an unruly, chaotic land under their control? There’s me, and there’s you, and the only one I could possibly think of with even a shred of that kind of power is…”

She trailed off as it hit her. The phrases “unruly” and “chaotic” kept bouncing around in her head. Her wide eyes locked with her sister’s sheepish stare. “No…”

Celestia shrugged hopelessly.

“The-there must be someone else! Anyone else!” She moaned.

“You know there isn’t.”

“But…to have him in charge of my beloved forest! Th-that total jackass…”

“Did somepony call my name?” A familiar, English-accented voice mused from above their heads. Luna felt bile rise up in her throat as a long, snake-like body coiled its way down the wall, shooting up right in front of her in the familiar form of the god of chaos himself.

“Discord,” she snorted, nostrils flaring.

“Is it?” He asked, scratching his chin in thought. “Huh, and here I thought my name was ‘total jackass,’ heaven knows you’ve used that term in my presence often enough. Well, thanks for the reminder, you get a nice party popper, Luna!” At that, he promptly stuck one end of a popper in her mouth and pulled until it exploded, covering her face in soot and spraying confetti everywhere.

“Get it? A party popper for the party pooper!” He gasped, then threw his head back and howled with laughter.

“Discord,” Celestia barked.

The draconequus turned, smiling wickedly as he swooped over to the Solar Princess, meeting her gaze with an evil grin. “Princess,” he replied.

The pair stared at one another a moment longer, the tension in the space between their eyes nearly palpable. A sudden urge to shy away washed over Luna as their glares hardened, their eyes reddening with strain, their looks darkening. Then, rather suddenly, Celestia closed the distance with her lips, pressing a light kiss on his snout while maintaining perfect eye contact.

The wicked smile becoming even broader, Discord replied with a spring-like tongue that shot out of his mouth and coiled around the Princess’s neck. “Ugh!” Luna gagged as the tongue wrapped around the Solar Princess and finally ended right by the side of her face, the tip quickly lapping along her cheek bone.

Finally, Celestia quivered and her eyes shut, letting loose a moan of pleasure. “Bastard…thought I…had you…that time…” she gasped, dropping to the ground in pleasure.

“You almost did,” he replied, trailing a claw up her spine and earning another pleasure-filled moan. “But I am the king of the staring contest, and no being is ever going to change that.”

“Ugh, get a room you two!” Luna cried, her nose wrinkling in revulsion. “It’s not enough I’m sworn to secrecy about every little thing you do, must you be so blatant about it around me?”

“Oh, we do have a room though, Lulu,” Discord replied, waggling that snake-like tongue at her. “The one right next to yours, remember? Deep into the night? When I show up and…”

A hoof stamped against his tail, and he winced, looking down at the Princess in his grasp while she glared daggers back up at him. “I’ll behave,” he promised. Smiling and nodding, Celestia released his tail, allowing him to cradle it and whimper.

“See? He can be taught,” Celestia said smartly, patting Discord lovingly on the head.

“Ughhhh,” Luna moaned, rubbing her temple again as the last few strands of her mane clinging on for dear life popped out of place. Celestia just smiled helplessly. It was obvious that Luna loved her dearly, and cherished her input beyond all others. As for her taste in mates, well, that was something they would just have to overcome together. “Look, we called you here for a reason.”

“Ooh, lovely,” Discord smiled, stretching out over the floor. Before Luna could go on, he replied: “Sure Lulu, I’ll handle the Everfree for ya, just don’t expect it to be a regular thing, alright?”

Luna let her breath out in a long, deflated, and decidedly undignified raspberry as Celestia nuzzled the spirit. “Thanks, sweetheart,” she cooed.

“I won’t be doin’ it for free, y’know,” he quickly added. “I’ll be missing out on a lot of chaos and tea parties with Flutters while I’m busy with the Everfree, so I have here a list of demands…” with a snap of his fingers, a scroll fluttered down on them from above, written on high-quality parchment paper in crayons of differing shades and colors which sometimes changed mid-sentence.

Luna took the list in hoof, gave it a perfunctory glance, found it contained such demands as “Lance Armstrong’s third ballock” and “A Tommy Wiseau gun (IT’LL TEAR YOU APART, LULU!)” and arched an eyebrow at him.

“We’ll allow thee an allowance of 500 bits a week from the royal treasury and a selection of one, and ONLY one, chocolate oatsicle from our private freezer in our room,” she replied.

“Four oatsicles,” he replied, glaring at her.

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Two,” Celestia weighed in, stepping between the pair. “And I will show up on your bed one random night a week wearing these.” Tapping her hoof, a pair of packages appeared in the air around her, one containing a horse’s bit and a set of pink, fuzzy cuffs, the other a pack of four edible gummy panties (“Try all seven sex-tastic flavors!”) and a saddle with a large, red heart stitched into the back.

Discord’s eyebrows shot up past his hairline, perched upon his horns, whistled and howled like a pair of wolves during a full moon, and landed back on his face with a loud thud. “DEAL!” He screamed, taking Luna’s hoof, shaking her violently, and taking off again. “AH’MMM GON’ GET LAID!” He screamed as he shot into the air at a speed that would have impressed Rainbow Dash.

Luna looked over at her sister, her eyes wide and sagging in horror as the white alicorn packed away the little packages. “Sister, thou aren’t seriously…”

“Sorry, Luna,” Celestia said with a saucy little smirk. “But we all have our sacrifices to make for Equestria.”

Luna shoved a hoof in her mouth, fought back the tidal wave of vomit that threatened to well up from her throat, and raised a hoof. “Okay, I’m okay…”

“Oh, shoot,” Celestia stamped a hoof. “I forgot to tell him that Fluttershy will be gone all week with the rest of the Elements of Harmony.”

Luna, thanking every god imaginable for the change in subject, cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her sister. “And why is that?”

“By coincidence, I just dispatched them to the Crystal Empire,” she shrugged. “I thought Shining and Cadence could use some help with the workload, and I knew Twilight would be able to help. And seeing to it that such a job would be somewhat long-term, I thought it would be best if her friends were there as well. For a few weeks, at least.”

“Ah, wonderful,” Luna smiled. “The Elements themselves can help us acclimate ourselves to life in the Crystal Empire!”

“Yes…” Celestia trailed off, biting her lip. “Sister, now that I think about it…is it so wise to have so many of Equestria’s assets concentrated in one location? Especially since we know that location is under threat?” It seemed the thought of both Luna and Twilight under threat was a little much for the Solar Princess to bear.

“Oh, pish-posh, sister,” Luna replied. “If anything, so many heavy-hitters in the Empire must deter a changeling threat! I mean, who would be foolish enough to attack both the Lunar Princess and the Elements of Harmony? Not to mention the royal couple who defeated them in the first place!”

“Yes, the royal couple…” Celestia replied absentmindedly. One didn’t have to be a mind-reader to know what she was thinking. Memories of the changeling attack on Canterlot, of her doubt for her own student during such a critical time, and how that doubt led her to be imprisoned in a cocoon suspended in her own throne room, played out in her eyes as plainly as television screens.

Seeing this, Luna smiled easily and went to her sister’s side, nuzzling the Princess of Day with as much loving care as she could muster. Snapping out of her fugue, Celestia returned the gesture. “This was your idea, after all,” Luna pointed out.

“Yes, and look where my ideas got us during the Canterlot wedding,” Celestia replied flatly.

“Hey! Aren’t I the one who should be mired in the mistakes of my past?” Luna growled playfully, earning a guffaw from Celestia. Luna hugged her sister tightly, wrapping her forehooves around the other alicorn’s neck and squeezing, hoping Celestia knew just a fraction of the love she felt for her. “Everything will work out this time, I promise.”

“I’m sure they will,” Celestia replied. “Still, I worry.”

“Don’t,” Luna said sharply. “I’m a big mare, Tia, I can take care of myself.”

“I’m sure you can,” Celestia smiled. “And say, I’m sure you’ll have so much free time on your hooves, you’ll finally be able to track down the stallion of your dreams!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, sister!” Luna called over her shoulder as she trotted off to pack for the trip. “The stallion of our dreams only exists in them!”

“Just be careful out there!”

“Will do! Love ya, Tia!”

“Love you too, sister,” Celestia called, quickly bowing her head back to the large, reflective glass shard. With her sister gone, she could only see one thing in the shard now: the mare whose mistakes almost cost her a kingdom, and her ponies’ their freedom. “Be careful, Lulu,” she whispered, hoping that the stupid mare looking back at her hadn’t just made yet another idiotic mistake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the infirmary, the Solar Guardstallion remained limp as he was unceremoniously dumped on the tiled floor by the snoring bat ponies. He remained practically catatonic even as the doctors rolled their eyes, carried him to a cot, and ran through a full checkup, including an internal temperature check that required a thermometer in his ass so deep and for so long that he seriously considered buying a ring for it just to make things official.

Turning in his cot the smallest, barest amount of a micron, the guard forced a wince down as his newly-sore bottom complained. He only gave it the rubbing it desperately needed hours later, when the lights were turned off and he was sure he was alone. At that point, he opened an eye to the faintest hint of a slit, the flicker of a green shimmer passing through it as he scanned the room before closing them again.

He finally shifted in his bed, pulling some pressure off his aching rear. He grimaced, and not entirely from having his black cherry popped by six inches of cold glass. He had heard a single phrase while lying dazed (though not actually unconscious) on the bat-pony’s back, just one phrase said in the moment before the doors between him and the Princess had swung shut, and that phrase was “Crystal Empire.”

His grimace softened back to a neutral blank. This was very bad, but fortunately, he had the means with which to rectify this, and perhaps even salvage the situation. With a thought, he opened up an invisible, magical communications channel with a station setup in an unnoticeable little cave on the side of the mountain.

Sokol-One, come in Sokol-One! He whispered into the channel. This is Agent Orange, calling Sokol-One, I have an important message for the Queen…

Author's Notes:

Thought I'd forgotten about this one, eh?

Special thanks to DJK for prereading, TheNextGamer for feeding my idiocy, and lingojam for his English to Ye Olde English translator for Luna's angry parts :)

Chapter V: The Setup (Part II)

Since losing her mother, Queen Chrysalis had grown accustomed to the same set of dreams haunting her subconscious almost every night, only gaining a reprieve on the nights when her sleep was completely dreamless. Not to say that all these dreams were bad, per se, though there was one in particular...

Thankfully, tonight’s little tour de force from her subconscious would be one of the more tame, if a bit murkier, dreams. In this one, she saw just a continuing black abyss, darkness drawn over her eyes like a heavy blanket. Sometimes, it was hard to breathe in this dream, but not tonight. Tonight, she was just left squinting into the dark.

At some point in the night, the voices started up. They always did in this dream. They were accompanied by far-off sounds and panicked shouts that were absolutely impossible to discern, distorted by some echoing effect from the abyss. One voice always broke through, though. One clear voice, obviously feminine, possibly pony (or just changeling in disguise, to avoid the hissing effect all changeling voices held), but that always rose up from all the others to cry her name:

“CHRYSALIS!”

And that would be it. She would wake up with her silken bedclothes soaked in sweat, gasping for air. As happened most nights, a quick scan of the sheets revealed fang marks and places where her acidic saliva burnt right through the cloth, like some hatchling mare unable to control their own night terrors. She shook her head with a sad sigh, making a quick mental note to call up the royal housekeepers for another change of sheets. Her breathing calming, the Queen of the changelings rolled over in her bed, not to go asleep again, but to greet an old friend.

The other changeling standing at the side of her bed watched her intently; her pale eyes locked on her Queen, though everyone in the hive knew that this particular changeling was blind as a bat. The old changeling looked at Chrysalis from eyes perched under a ragged fin, her marked and dented chitin catching the dim light and reflecting it throughout the room like a disco ball that had been hit by a dump truck. Chrysalis shuddered at the sight of the ancient creature. She couldn’t tell how old this changeling was, but only knew that she’d looked this aged for as long as the Queen could remember. Even as a hatchling playing in her private play room, she could remember this changeling watching her with those same, pale eyes as she discussed signs from the gods with Chrysalis’s father, her jaw clicking and her joints popping with each minor motion even then.

“I had it again,” Chrysalis said, not shocked in the slightest by the old changeling’s appearance in her private quarters at this time of night. The Seer always appeared when that particular dream popped up, and Chrysalis had long given up any hopes of understanding how or why.

“As I am aware…my Queen,” the Seer replied in a voice like a wrought-iron gate on hinges that hadn’t seen oil in decades, taking a long pause halfway through her own sentence to spit out a bit of phlegm that congealed onto the wall and set as hard as cement within seconds. That voice still made Chrysalis wince, though only slightly and beyond the notice of the Seer (or so she hoped, there was really no telling what this changeling did and did not see). “This is third time…this month.”

“Does that mean anything?” Chrysalis asked.

“Perhaps…and perhaps not,” the ancient creature scratched at her chin with a twisted, chipped hoof. The pauses for breath in her speech came more frequently now than Chrysalis remembered, but her words still struck her ears with the same resonance as a church bell being rung next to her head. “Premonition dreams…often unclear. However, if they start occurring…more and more frequently…is almost always a sign…that time they concern…is fast approaching.”

“And it still means the same as it did before? There’s nothing more you can tell me?”

The older changeling nodded. “’I am sorry, my Queen…nothing has changed. Again, all I can tell you…that the moment in the future…this dream concerns has something…to do with causing a pony of great power…great amount of pain. Who that pony might be…or even nature of that pain…I do not know.”

“A pony of great power,” Chrysalis repeated, rolling off her bed and sighing as she pressed herself to all four hooves, shaking off the stiffness of sleep. “Still, something to look forward to. I hope it’s Sunbutt, personally. Though I’d settle for that wannabe, Cadence.”

The Seer nodded with a tiny smile on her wrinkled lips. “Aye, a bit of revenge…for Canterlot failure would be nice. However…must repeat my warning of last time…”

“…That when the time comes, I will not want to cause this pony harm,” Chrysalis interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “So you’ve said, yet you’ve yet to explain why! Why would I not wish a pony any harm!?”

She pulled open a drawer in the black, oaken bureau that dominated an entire wall of the room, revealing a selection of crowns waiting for her choosing. “It’s not like they’ve ever done any better for us,” she added more quietly as she sifted through the barely-organized pile of crowns, casting aside the more extravagant Celebration and Special Occasion crowns coated in glittering jewels before finding her trademark, elegant, black, three-pronger, placing it on her head with a near-palpable air of reverence.

The older changeling simply smiled knowingly as her aged lips began to weave a tale. This time, there were no pauses for breath, no halts, as if losing herself in the story had added years to her lifespan. “Many years ago, in one of the ancient kingdoms of Zebrica, a young stallion in a small peasant village received a pet chicken for his birthday. ‘Oh, how wonderful,’ the inhabitants of that village said, but the village elder, an old and wise zebra to whom everyone turned to for advice, simply said: ‘We’ll see.”

Chrysalis scooped up one of the ornate brushes from her bureau (a gift from Saddle Arabia. Or, at least, a Saddle Arabian Prince who’s lover she had been imponynating) and began brushing absentmindedly, her mind lost in the tale. The Seer’s voice seemed to grow with each word, gaining strength that quickly swept the Queen up within its volume.

“A few months passed, and the foal was out playing with his chicken when, in his distracted, oblivious state, he was caught in a rock slide. Though both he and the chicken survived, he was left with a broken hoof that never healed right, leaving him with a limp that would follow him for the rest of his life. And the inhabitants of the village said, ‘Oh, how terrible!’ But once again, the village elder said, ‘We’ll see.’

“A few years passed, and war broke out with another kingdom. Eventually, the king sent runners to every little village in his rule to gather up all the young, fighting-age stallions to go to war, but though the foal was now fighting age, he was left behind because of his limp. A few months later, it was learned that every stallion who had been gathered from that village had been killed in battle. Though they lamented their loss, the village soon realized that had the foal been without his limp, they would have lost every stallion they had in the new generation, possibly losing their village’s future as so many other villages had before. ‘Oh, how wonderful!’ They said over their good fortune, but do you know what the village elder said?”

“Let me guess,” Chrysalis said with a wry smile, finally realizing that she had brushed her mane as much as was possible and moving on to the small file she used to sharpen her fangs. “We’ll see?”

The older changeling looked to her student, a wise, good-natured twinkle in her otherwise dull eyes. “Do you understand?”

Chrysalis nodded. While the older changeling’s tales were oftentimes long and rambling, there was always a lesson to be taken from them. Years of hunting for that lesson amidst the rhetoric and characterization had sharpened her mind to the point where the Seer’s stories only stumped her perhaps once or twice a month now, the lesson coming to her as clear as day while the story unfolded. This time, however, she believed even a hatchling would be able to piece this one together. “The future is always uncertain,” she replied before running the file a few times over a blemish in her right incisor.

The Seer nodded proudly. “Always. The future is a disturbed puddle, its bottom only becoming clear with time, as its waters settle and it morphs from what could be and into what is. The only one who can possibly know what is at the bottom of that puddle is she who lives through it, and until then, anything is possible.”

“But there are patterns that can help,” Chrysalis retorted, looking at her Seer’s reflection in the mirror. “We can almost be certain that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, as it has for the past thousand years with few exceptions. We can be certain that the nations of the world will continue to argue and bicker over this agreement or that trade deal, as they have since there was more than one nation to argue with one another. We can almost certainly know that the world will continue spinning through space and every species will continue moving in much the same way they have been since the dawn of time, such as the continuing xenophobic hatred some species share with one another.”

She finally turned to lock eyes directly with her Seer, her blazing emeralds meeting with the older changeling’s saddened, pale blues. “Ponies and changelings do not get along. Though we require their love for sustenance, they will always only see monsters when they gaze upon our natural forms. That is why we fight, that is why their love must be taken through deception and force, and that is why I will never pity a pony’s situation no matter how miserable, nor should I ever think to lift a hoof to aid one of their number, when they have done no such favor for us in return.”

“Of this, you are certain?”

“Almost entirely.”

“You said almost,” the Seer pointed out. With a surprising amount of agility, she darted around the bed and appeared at the Queen’s side, pressing a cracked hoof to the royal’s chest. “What of that small part of you that I know exists, that bright-eyed little princess I knew of old who told me how, someday, we wouldn’t have to steal love from ponies? That someday, they might just give it to us?”

Chrysalis sighed angrily, a faint hiss passing from the back of her throat. “That princess grew up,” she replied. “It’s a nice hope to have, truly, but we can almost be certain it will never happen.”

“You said ‘almost’ again!” The Seer scoffed. “Some part of you still believes there is a chance!”

Chrysalis finally relented, knowing there could be no hiding any part of herself from the older changeling. Keeping her blazing emeralds locked on the aging creature, she replied through clenched teeth: “While some naïve part of me still clings to that hope, the rest of me knows that the odds of such a hope becoming reality are simply too small. It could never come to pass, never in a million years. The pattern of pony-changeling hostility is just too powerful.”

The old sage simply smiled at Chrysalis with eyes wizened by an impossible number of years and whispered: “We’ll see.”

Though she fought it, Chrysalis couldn’t help but to feel a smile crack her muzzle as she shoved the old one away. “Oh, come off it, you cheesy old coot!” She chuckled.

“There she is,” the older changeling giggled lively. “Whenever she giggles, that little Princess I knew comes out again.”

Blushing intensely, Chrysalis sighed and brushed the Seer aside. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, old one.”

“You know I do. Why don’t you let that little princess come out and play more often, Chryssie?” The Seer asked, pressing a hoof to Chrysalis’s heart again. “She’s so lonely, locked up in here.”

This time, the changeling royal was faster in brushing the chipped hoof aside, even throwing in a derisive snort for good measure. “I should gather my generals. We have much to discuss about our plans in the North,” her muzzle rising haughtily, her eyes grew steely and cold. “You won’t be required, Seer, so if you please…do move along.”

The Seer frowned, but nodded stoically. “As you wish, my queen,” she said, bowing as she backed away out the door.

Chrysalis sighed the moment she was alone again. Sure, it was true she’d had her hopes when she’d first ascended to the throne, even with the horrible circumstances around that ascension still fresh in her mind. Unfortunately, the world had a funny way of pounding hope out of younglings, even ones as powerful as she had been. There were only so many hate-filled, racially-fuelled attacks a young changeling could take before she retreated underground with her entire race, waiting for the day they could build up the strength to simply take what they needed, biding her time for one strike to seize everything.

Canterlot should have been that strike. After seizing the ponies’ treasured capital, disabling their oh-so-perfect princesses, and taking the Elements of Harmony prisoner, she should have had it all in the bag. Finally, changelings would have been able to step out of the darkness. Finally, her people would be able to walk out in the open without fear. Finally…finally…

“…we were going to live without fear,” she whispered. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, letting loose with another sigh. Once upon a time, those glowing emeralds staring back at her had been wide and filled with hope. Once upon a time, the changeling she saw had hopes and dreams of a world that lived in peace and harmony, where her people could eat without deception or force, where a young changeling princess could live without fear of discovery or of him, and maybe, just maybe, that same princess could find someone somewhere who could look past the fangs and the chitin and the tattered mane and see something worth loving.

“Well, at least one of those played out,” she said, a weary, plastered-on smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. So much had happened in the days leading to her ascension, so much had happened after, and now, that bright-eyed little changeling princess was gone, probably forever. Bah, the old Seer didn’t know what she was talking about. That princess was history. All that was left was the tired old queen before her, free of delusions, resigning herself to a long and lonely existence.

She sighed, hurriedly wiping a tear from her face. She had only just finished fully recovering when her door slowly creaked open. “Your majesty?” Another changeling asked as he entered, this one with sharp and angular features and eyes as cold as the frozen tundra, even compared with other changelings’. Frankly, this guy made the rest of the hive look like a bunch of Bushwoolies with pillows and teddy bears duct taped to themselves. Maybe that was why he was her highest-ranking commander.

“High General Chickit,” Chrysalis said, acknowledging the changeling with a nod.

“Your majesty,” the changeling said, bowing to one knee. His voice, much like himself, was punctual and to the point, without a single word or breath wasted. He was a model of military efficiency. Again, just another reason he was so high up in the military hierarchy that the Queen was his only official superior, even if he still shared power with a few others. “My apologies for entering your personal quarters, but you told me to alert you the moment there were any developments with Operation Snowfall.”

“Ah, wonderful,” she said, nodding for him to rise. “And?”

“Madam,” the general stood, only to immediately transition into a salute, standing ramrod straight with one hoof across his brow. “Infiltration Team Alpha is reporting complete success. They have returned to the palace with the plans required.”

For the second time that hour (a rare occurrence for her), a genuine smile crossed the changeling queen’s face. “As I knew they would,” she replied. She turned to a small, polished brass tube in the wall and pulled out a large, pale-white maggot. Without a second thought, she held the creature in her magic and bit into it, taking a massive chunk of flesh from its quivering, grayish surface. There was a slight hiss like air leaking from a balloon, then the quivering thing laid still in her grasp. The High General didn’t even react except to spare a single hungry glance at the grub. She continued speaking around mouthfuls of meat that she replenished with an occasional bite. “See to it that they get a few days off for another successful mission.”

“Of course, my queen,” Chickit replied. A tiny frown crossed Chrysalis’s face upon hearing the bitter undercurrent in his voice. How the high general felt about Bait and Switch was no secret within the hive: whenever he was in charge of picking missions or commanding large-scale infiltrations, Bait and Switch always managed to land the worst assignments, guaranteed to land them in the most dangerous of situations. Not to mention the near-palpable look of disgust that crossed his face at every awards ceremony when the general himself was forced to lay a medal around each of their necks, which was quite often given their success rate.

It wasn’t hard to guess why Chickit hated the duo: they were just too different, too eccentric. Of course, it was this eccentricity that allowed them to blend with ponies so perfectly in spite of any shortcomings in their abilities to disguise themselves, but that didn’t keep the general’s hate from growing with every tale of success and every impossible situation that the pair faced. It didn’t help that the general was of the old guard, the changelings that believed every moment where ponies lived free and not as slaves beneath the swarm’s hole-filled hooves was an offense to everything they were supposed to stand for, whereas rumors flew about Bait and Switch occasionally helping ponies during their missions.

There was the bank heist in Trottingham where they tore up all the foreclosure records on file and donated a large chunk of their ill-gotten gains to a local orphanage, the infiltration mission in Baltimare where they spent all their time maintaining their cover by volunteering at the animal shelter, the exfiltration mission to Ponyville when they delivered a captured infiltrator to the safety of the Everfree, and then immediately turned around to beat up a couple muggers who had been holding a pony couple hostage. Now, there were even more absurd rumors flying around that this latest mission had ended with them breaking up a robbery for the sake of some mare! Chrysalis never minded these, not even caring if any of them were true or not, so long as the pair returned with results. The general, though...

“My queen, if I may be so bold,” he said, finally lowering his hoof. “Perhaps next time, my Praetorian Guard could handle a mission of such sensitivity? While Bait and Switch have seen some success in the past, their…lack of discipline worries me.”

Lack of discipline. Right, that’s why those two were always sent to single-hoofedly take on dragon’s nests whenever the high-general had control of the duty roster. “I think we should continue utilizing Bait and Switch to their fullest whenever we can,” she replied, hardly even looking at him, instead staring at the meaty creature in her grasp as she polished it off with a few, final bites, licking her hoof clean. “They seem to blend well with the ponies, regardless of what activities they may choose to carry out on the side. Besides, aren’t your Praetorians occupied with recon to the North?”

She could practically hear the high-general’s fangs grind against his lower teeth. “Of course, your majesty. How stupid of me. Truly, your wisdom knows no bounds.”

Chrysalis wanted to hand the guy an award for that bit of acting, the kind of award that ponies in too much hair gel sometimes gave one another to feed their own egos while surrounding themselves with red velvet and flank-kissing reporters, but she settled for a nod of acknowledgement in his direction. “Thank you, high-general, will that be all?”

“Actually, your majesty, we have one other development in the Operation,” he stood up again, his own seething emotions disappearing as he continued on with his report. “One of our spies within the royal guard reports that the princesses have already determined what was stolen, and have already begun countermeasures against our plans.”

The Queen whirled around on him, eyes wide in shock. “Already!?”

“I am afraid so, my Queen.”

“Oh, great tragedy,” she lamented, a hoof covering her eyes in a dramatic pose that would have made Rarity proud. “Oh, whatever shall we do? The ponies have uncovered our plans, and are surely readying themselves for us! All is ruined! Whatever shall we do!?”

The high-general allowed the tiniest hint of a smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth. “Besides carry out Plan B, your highness?”

Chrysalis grinned wickedly as she dropped her hoof. “Well, I suppose there’s always that,” she said with a knowing smile and a little shrug. “How are the diggers progressing?”

“The tunnels are almost complete, madam.”

“Excellent,” she said. "I give the ponies a couple days to determine we’ve stolen the plans to the Empire’s sewer system. With any luck, the Crystal Ponies will have all their resources focused there by the time we’re ready."

"Yes, my Queen," Chickit replied, his toothy grin turning wicked. "Too bad our tunnels will be shooting right by them, eh?"

"Too bad indeed. Otherwise, Celestia would have scored a great intelligence victory, rather than handing us our own on a silver platter," Chrysalis replied, a hoof running through her mane, feeling the clumpy strands through the holes in her hooves. "Will that be all, Chickit?"

"Yes, my Queen."

"Good, then return to your duties. Our army will need its finest leader if it is to be ready for the assault ahead."

"Of course, your highness," Chickit completed with a little bow before turning to leave, Chrysalis immediately returning to her bureau to complete her preparations for the day. As he left, as if he'd been holding it back all along, the high-general couldn't help but allow a scowl of pure disgust to wash over his face.

If Chrysalis had noticed this scowl, she might have uncovered many of the things occurring right under the noses of both herself and her loyal followers. Much would have changed had she seen the plans within plans, the rebellion within the invasion. Instead, all she saw was her general's retreating backside, thinking herself oh-so-naughty for sneaking a peek at the younger changeling's battle-hardened and toned flank. If she had any clue about his oh-so-naughty thoughts, the ones he'd been entertaining since the failure at Canterlot, she would have cut him down on the spot.

However, she didn't, and all the players, for better and for worse, proceeded unimpeded. On one side, the white, on the other, the black, and in between, a third side hiding in the shadows that neither would see until it was far too late.

Author's Notes:

As always, special thanks go to DJK and TheNextGamer for feeding into the horrible, decayed, nightmarish wasteland that are my thoughts.

And just so everybody knows, the tale of the Zebrican village is adapted from an Afghan proverb about a boy in a small, ancient village.

Chapter VI: Shiney and Cady

A FEW DAYS LATER

The sun slowly dawned over the Crystal Empire, peeking over the snow-covered mountains to set the city blazing with dazzling light. The red and yellow pre-dawn rays sparkled through the crystalline structures of the Empire, refracting and bouncing about as dark and muted rainbows throughout the streets. One stray beam of sunlight bounced right off the sparkling awning of a shop in the streets, shimmering right into the palace through the window of the master bedroom.

Prince Shining Armor groaned and turned over in his bed, burying his face under his pillow. “I swear, if I ever figure out where that one beam is coming from…” he mumbled sleepily.

Next to him, his wife sat up the instant the beam hit, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She yawned, stretched, blinked a few times, and ran a hoof through her bedhead-inflicted mane. Turning to her husband, she smiled and lifted his pillow up to give him a soft peck to the forehead. “Wake up, sleepy head,” she cooed.

Groaning, Shining didn’t turn away from his wife, but did manage to stick his lips out. With a tired smile, Cadence obliged him with a quick little kiss to the lips. He exhaled through his nose, sparing her his morning breath. “That was lovely,” he said, promptly rolling over and wrenching his pillow from her grasp.

“Oh come on, Shiney,” she said, her hooves going to her hips. “You may not be a morning pony, but you know I’m going get you up eventually.”

“Who says I’m not a morning pony?” He asked sleepily. “I love mornings; I just wish they came later in the day.”

“Ugh, that joke is older than Auntie Tia,” she said with another roll of her eyes.

“Too early to be clever.”

“C’moooooon,” she urged, pulling the sheets away from his body. The unicorn promptly shivered and curled up, grimacing against the brisk morning air. Harumphing, a wicked smile spread across Cadence’s face. The princess promptly trotted to Shining’s bedside and laid her head on his pillow. Still smiling, she closed her lips over his and stuck her tongue in his mouth, curling it against his back molars in that ticklish way she knew he couldn’t resist. Shining smiled contentedly, still half asleep as he returned the kiss. A few seconds in, Cadence pulled her head back, and Shining followed like a fish caught on a hook. She kept up the pull, easing him further and further away from the bed until…

“Woah, buck!” He screamed, eyes flying open and hooves spinning wildly as he crashed to the hard, crystal floor. Shaking himself awake, he turned and glared at his wife. “That was a dirty trick, you know.”

“Dirty trick? From a princess?” She gasped with a cute little smile. “You forget your place, Captain Armor!”

“Maybe,” he said, his glare turning into a sultry smile. “Perhaps I need to be punished so I’ll remember next time?”

“Mmh…yes,” she said, arching an eyebrow seductively as she tapped her horn and a strange, pink aura with lavender polka dots appeared at the top of her horn. “I think I’ll start with this.”

His smile faded. “Ugh, Cadyyyy…” he groaned like a colt being told to eat his vegetables. “You know I hate your scans!”

“You’re due, Shiny: we have to make sure that bug’s influence is really gone,” she replied, lowering her head so her horn drew closer to his. The stallion sighed dramatically, but tilted his head in turn, offering his horn up. Cadence closed her eyes, and there was a brilliant flash, and…

Last semester in college, oh man! I’m almost out! I just hope the Guard takes my application…

She frowned and shot past the memory, trying not to look too long to keep her husband’s privacy intact. Or, what little there was left of it. She was just here for one specific group of memories anyway, so after pushing past the embarrassing high school memories and the urges to scratch himself (she KNEW that was hard-wired in somewhere!), she reached his love.

Oh man, that new transfer student…she’s beautiful…

Her laugh is amazing…I didn’t even think that story was all that funny…

Say yes, please say yes, I can’t imagine my future without you, Cady, oh Celestia please say yes…

I do.

Smiling, she dipped her head further, and instantly waves of pleasing warmth washed over her body, working down from her head and back down to her tail. If she had her way, they would stay like this all day, but as it was, she quickly pulled away, signifying the end of the spell with a kiss to his cheek. “It’s wonderful to have a constant reason to see what you really feel about me.”

“I still hate these things,” he grumbled. “There are some things a stallion should have to himself, and the inside of his head is one of them.”

“You only hate it because you don’t like sharing your emotions, like the big, stereotypical meathead you are,” she said with a tiny smile and another kiss.

“Maybe,” he said. He still hadn’t met her eyes since she’d started the spell, despite her obvious efforts to make him do just that. A thought occurred to him. “Hey, Cady?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking…about…that day…” he said, every word needing to be forced out his mouth past a wall of embarrassment.

“Don’t,” she said sternly. “Don’t even start this again. I know what you’re going to say, and I’m telling you now as your wife, don’t.”

“It’s just that…Chrysalis took me out so easily!” Shining said, her words apparently rushing in one ear, only to shoot right out the other. “She had me totally convinced she was you! And the only one smart enough to see through it all was my sister! I failed you!”

His hooves dropped, as did his muzzle. “I failed everypony. I didn’t protect you on the day I took a vow to do just that. You deserve a pony that can succeed where I failed, Cady. The Empire deserves a pony who can at least protect their Princess.”

“Shining Armor, look at me.” She said, still with that stern tone, like a mother trying to impress a lesson on her whipped foal. Shining Armor obeyed, meeting his wife’s hard gaze. “How do you think I feel about that whole day?”

His eyebrows rose. “What’s that?”

“You’re not the only one who took a vow to love and protect,” she said, her hard gaze melting into a wan smile. “Remember, in order to even get close to you, Chrysalis had to go through me. Which she did. Quite easily, too. And as an Alicorn, a princess of love, no less, how do you think that feels?”

The couple sat on the bed, stunned, gazing at each other. Then, rather suddenly, Shining leaned forward, his lips puckering out. Cadence was quick to reply, closing the distance between them and joining in the kiss. It dragged out, their nostrils flaring as their forehooves wrapped around one another, the pair sharing a passionate, loving embrace. Finally, it ended, their lips parting with a smack, Shining Armor looking into the eyes of his mare, Cadence looking into the eyes of her stallion.

“Did you honestly believe I’d leave you for falling at Chrysalis’s hooves, after everything we went through after?” She asked, her voice gentle. “She was the Queen, my Shining Armor. I’m proud that you shook her influence off as quickly as you did.”

“I didn’t say you’d leave me,” he replied with a grin. “I could stay in town and remain your secret lover, if you want.”

“Sounds ever so naughty…” she replied, tracing a hoof along the side of his neck. “I think you just want an excuse to run around and hide with me, like when we were first dating.”

“What’s wrong with that? At night, I’ll don a mask and cape, appear at your window,” he suddenly wrapped her in his forelegs and swept her off-balance, supporting her in his grip. “Sweep you off your hooves…”

“Shining!” She giggled.

“What? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like making out in the back of a rented carriage again!” He grinned mischievously.

“Oh, whatevah will my Auntie Tia think if she finds me with the mysterious phantom of the Crystal Empire!” She gasped in a fake country accent she’d picked up from Applejack.

“Zink not on zat, Pwincess!” He cooed in the worst French accent he could muster, nuzzling into her neck. “For tonight, zere is only ze moon, ze stars, and thou!”

“Oh phantom…” she whispered, slowly pulling him in, lips extended for a kiss. Smiling, he bowed his head, ready to give his wife the mother of all smooches, when the door burst open and a certain lavender unicorn trotted in.

“Good morning!” Twilight Sparkle said, thankfully too distracted by a roll of paper held out in front of her eyes to pay any attention to what her brother and sister-in-law were doing.

“Twily!” Shining gasped, losing his grip on Cadence and dropping her to the floor with an unceremonious thud.

“Just wanted to go over everypony’s schedule for the day,” the lavender unicorn said, still not looking up from her list as she took a seat on the bed and Shining helped his wife back to her hooves.

“Um, right, Twily,” Cadence said, resting a hoof on the lavender unicorn’s leg. “Could we maybe do this later? Shining and I were in the middle of…” she trailed off, looking to her husband for help.

“Something,” he replied with a shrug.

“Right. Something.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s not in the schedule,” Twilight chimed, her quill pen dashing over her scroll as she hoofed a couple stacks of papers towards Shining. “Now, while I’m here, I’m going to need you to help me dictate my letters and daily status reports to Princess Celestia.”

“Oof,” he groaned under the weight of the stack. “Shouldn’t Spike be helping you with this?”

“I decided he should get a vacation while the girls and I are here,” she explained, eyes still locked on the scroll. “I left him with the Cutie Mark Crusaders back in Ponyville.”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Shining asked bewilderedly. “As in those three fillies who keep blowing stuff up all over Ponyville with increasingly irresponsible attempts to find their special talents?”

“That’s them!” She replied brightly.

The stack of papers fell from his hooves. And here he was, thinking his sister was some sort of genius this entire time. How she’d duped him, he’d never know.

“Twilight…” Cadence started, pressing a fetlock to her former babysitting charge’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Why in the name of Celestia’s blazing almighty flank would you think leaving a child to care for three dangerously irresponsible fillies would be a good idea!?” Shining gasped.

Taken aback by her brother’s outburst, Twilight quickly shrugged him off and glared back. “I’ll have you know Spike is a growing dragon! It was about time he assumed some responsibility! And besides, I have the Cakes checking in on them!”

Backing down instantly, Shining held his hooves up in defense. “Alright, alright, far be it for me to question how you’re raising him. Still, are you absolutely sure there was nopony else who could look after them full time?”

“I trust Spike to manage the library all the time, a few fillies he’s close friends with shouldn’t be much more responsibility,” she said, easing back into a smile. “Besides, they’re still in Ponyville, which is now the safest town in rural Equestria thanks to all the defenses Mayor Mare has been putting up since the last few…er…nation-threatening incidents. What could go wrong?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo sighed, slowly letting her breath out through her nose. The black paint under her eyes still felt cool to her skin, glistening in her fur.

Okay, alright, stay calm, she reminded herself. You’re nervous, but that’s okay. Nopony’s gonna judge you. Just do your best.

In truth, she’d only ever participated in this ritual once before, and even then as just a casual observer. They’d only dreamt up the rites for welcoming a new Crusader into their ranks a few weeks after she had met Sweetie and Applebloom, and even then they’d only done it once for real, to welcome AB’s cousin into their midst. Applebloom had, of course, held the honor of heading that little ritual. Now, it was her turn.

Summoning all her courage, she turned to the young drake with as hard a glare as she could muster. “Spike of Ponyville,” she bellowed, her raspy voice thundering from her tiny frame. “You have been instructed in the ancient rites of CeeEmmCee, do you understand the instructions given to you?”

Spike gulped despite himself and shivered; his shaking calming after a hoof fell on his shoulder. He squeezed it without thinking, knowing from the white coat that it was just his marefriend, trying to keep him calm. He turned and grinned cheekily at her, and Sweetie Belle smiled right back.

Nodding with approval, Scootaloo turned her attention to the other two fillies. “Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, as already-drafted members you are here to participate in the ancient chant meant to keep our young friend’s spirits up during this test. It is up to you to give him as much encouragement as you can, lest he stumble and fall. Do you understand the chant and its purpose?”

The fillies both nodded. Sweetie’s hoof tightened on Spike’s shoulder, and he couldn’t help but squeeze right back, easing up when a little squeak rose from her. “Sorry,” he whispered, retracting his claws.

Nodding again, Scootaloo lowered her gaze on the dragon, meeting the slit-pupil in his eye. He returned the glare, though he did take a step back unintentionally. For a second, it appeared to him as though she were a full-grown mare glaring down at him for something he’d done wrong, though in actuality she had maybe just an inch or two on him and they were about the same age.

“This ritual has been performed since the beginning of the Crusaders,” she said. “Since before the rise of the changelings, since before the release of Discord, since before old mare Thatherston’s knee gave out that one time in the garden…”

“Actually, we all met after that,” Applebloom pointed out.

“Um, what?” Scootaloo asked, her train of thought derailing. “No, no, that was last spring, remember? That would make it just a few months.”

“No, you’re thinkin’ ‘bout the spring before that,” Applebloom insisted. “I remember that was the same year as the buffalo stampede through Manehattan, which was a couple years ago.”

“Nuh-uh! It was the same year as the rise of the super-intelligent manticore-eating flowers, which was just last year!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah, hu…”

“Girls!” Sweetie screeched, popping up between the two to split them up. “In case you forgot, we’re here for Spike right now?”

The fillies blinked in surprise, then turned to the young drake waiting patiently behind them. “Oh, right,” Applebloom said, her eyes sinking to the floor. “We’re awful sorry, Spike, we jus’ got caught up.”

“Eh, it’s alright,” he said. “Can we just get this over with? I still got chores to do.”

“What? Twilight’s gone, how do you have chores?” Sweetie pointed out.

“You really think she would have left without leaving an itemized list, laminated and in triplicate?” He asked, pulling out a scroll that promptly unrolled until it stretched past the Crusaders, across the library floor, and out the door.

Scootaloo craned her neck to look the list over. “ ‘Don’t forget to breath’?” She read aloud. “Seriously?”

“Twilight is…thorough,” Spike said with a sheepish shrug.

“Yeah, the word you’re lookin’ for is ‘crazy,’ “ she muttered.

“Hey! That’s my sister you’re…”

“Guys!?” Sweetie Belle shouted, stomping a hoof and glaring at the pair.

“Right, sorry Sweets,” both ponies said, though the meaning behind each of their use of the nickname was massively different.

Nodding, Sweetie resumed her place at Spike’s side, replacing her hoof in his claws. Dating for two months and she already has him wrapped around her hoof, Scootaloo thought with a shake of her head. Obviously, the small white filly had inherited her sister’s ability to twist any stallion’s will around, throw it over her shoulder, and call it hers. Scootaloo wasn’t sure if she should be jealous, concerned for Spike, or just impressed.

“As I was sayin’ before being rudely interrupted,” she said, glaring at Applebloom, who glared right back but kept her muzzle shut. “Spike, this great and ancient ritual has been handed down through the ages of…uh…last February, I’d say. Know that upon completion, you will take another step on the long road to full mare…uh…dragonhood. This will forever change your view of the world, as you will begin to see the world through the eyes of an adult, not through those of a child. Are you ready?”

Spike blinked a few times. “Wow. Epic speech, guys,” he said.

“Thanks. Took me a whole week to come up with it.”

“And I am ready,” he said, giving Sweetie’s hoof one last squeeze before releasing it.

“Then let us begin,” the filly said solemnly, producing a mug of frothing liquid from Celestia-knows-where and handing it to the baby dragon. Spike inhaled, exhaled, and pressed the mug to his lips, beginning to drink.

“Chug,” the Crusaders started, beating their hooves against the ground in time with their voices. “Chug. Chug. Chug chug chug chug chug chugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchugchug…”

Before long, Spike had upended the entire mug down his muzzle and slammed it to the ground, wiping his lips. The others stared at him expectedly. He smiled and hiccupped. “I love root beer.”

“WOOOOH!” The three ponies screamed, Sweetie heading in for a kiss while Applebloom clapped him on the back. “Y’did it, Spikey!” Sweetie gasped, beaming proudly as they shared the quick kiss.

“Yeah, I…” suddenly, Spike hiccupped again, something welling inside of him.

“Spikey?” Sweetie asked, running a hoof along his chin. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I think I’m…hnngh…” he moaned, running his talons over his tummy and pressing a hand tight over his mouth.

“Oh man! He’s gonna be sick!” Scootaloo beamed, grabbing a yellow hat and raincoat and leaning forward in anticipation.

“Spahke! Say somethin’!” Applebloom gasped.

The dragon swayed unsteadily on his feet, still clenching his tummy. The mug fell from his hands and clattered to the floor as he collapsed to his knees, still groaning. Panicked cries of “Give him some air!” and “Somepony help him!” filled the room. With a final groan, Spike fell on his back, his tongue lolling out.

The others quickly surrounded him, Sweetie frantically grabbing his shoulders and shaking. “Spike! Please, say something!” She begged.

The only warning she got for what was coming was a sudden twitch in his throat, followed by a soft roar building from somewhere deep in his gullet. In an instant, he jolted upright and let loose with a mighty belch, rumbling the windows as his breath ignited, turning the burp into a flamethrower. “DUCK AND COVER!” Applebloom screamed, grabbing her screaming friends and leaping for safety behind an overturned desk like a war hero pulling his comrades to safety. Green flames curled out the baby dragon’s mouth and enveloped the library, sending scorching walls of fire and embers right over the other’s heads. Over the next few seconds, half of Twilight’s copy of The Encyclopedia Equestria, an end table, a cheap flower vase, and Applebloom’s bow had all been enveloped and teleported to Canterlot.

With one last poof, the belch ended and Spike dropped to his stomach, rolling over onto his back with a little moan. A few seconds passed, and suddenly he bolted upright and let out one little burp, a scroll materializing from the flames. Recognizing it as Celestia’s personal stationary, he quickly unrolled it and scanned its contents: Stomach trouble?

Still groaning, he penned in a quick Yeah and sent the scroll back just as the dog and ponies cautiously poked their heads out, taking in the destruction.

Scootaloo poked her head out, a grin on her face so wide that anypony could count her molars with just one look at her. “Now that was a man-sized burp!”

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Shaking off the feeling that somepony somewhere was doing something dangerously irresponsible, Twilight turned back to her brother and his wife. “Anyway, I have each of your days itemized and planned out to produce the maximum possible output by sunset. Just keep to these schedules and you two should have no problem tackling the day’s workload!”

Shining Armor arched an eyebrow as he scanned the massive, itemized, and painstakingly-detailed scroll trailing by his hooves. “Hold on, I thought the whole reason you came to the Crystal Empire was to help us with all this stuff!”

“Well, there’s been a change of plans,” Twilight said with a sheepish smile. “Last night, Princess Celestia sent me an urgent message saying Princess Luna would be arriving in the Empire soon, and that me and my friends ought to keep her company.”

“WHAT!?” Shining barked. “For Equestria’s sake, we’re the rulers of the Empire! Why wouldn’t she tell us that Canterlot royalty was on its way!?”

“I’m sure she just assumed Twily would let it slip on her own,” Cadence replied, nuzzling her husband. “She can be quite wise when it comes to predicting the actions of other ponies.”

“And besides, how much help did you really think Pinkie and Rainbow were going to be with the paperwork?” Twilight asked with a knowing smile. “Wouldn’t they be better placed on the streets, keeping ponies’ spirits up and ensuring the Crystal Heart remains charged?”

Shining grimaced. Twilight had just logic-ninja’d him again. He hated when she did that. “Fine,” he sighed, rolling up the scroll. “Still, I’m a bit insulted that Princess Celestia went to my sister with this, rather than the crown prince and princess of the Empire!”

Suddenly, the door burst open again (Shining made a mental note to add a rubber stopper to its handle: it was already starting to leave a hole in the wall). “Your majesties!” A crystal pony guard gasped, his hide shimmering as he bowed before the royal couple and held a small scroll up to them. “I have an urgent message from Canterlot!”

Curious, Shining broke the wax seal over the scroll and quickly unrolled it, scanning its contents, his eyes widening. “Well then…” he mused.

“Sweetheart?”

“BBBFF?”

“It’s an official communique from Celestia herself informing us that Princess Luna will be taking a small vacation in the Crystal Empire and should be arriving shortly,” he replied, eyebrows up in his hairline as he rolled the scroll back up and tossed it over his shoulder. “Right when I was fuming about it too.”

Cadence arched an eyebrow at him. “You don’t suppose…”

“No, no, that’s ridiculous. Nopony’s that good at predicting others. This has to be a coincidence,” Shining replied, but his tone was unsure. He turned to his sister, the one pony who knew Celestia better than anyone in Equestria (besides, perhaps, Luna herself). “Right?”

Twilight just smiled knowingly as she cantered out the door. “Like Cadence said: she can be quite wise when it comes to predicting the actions of others. I’m gonna get the girls so we can greet the Princess together."

Author's Notes:

Woot! I know it's been a while guys, for everyone reading this, sorry! I've been trying to focus on "Setting Things Right," that one has needed quite a bit of work. But for all you who've been following this story from the beginning, you might recognize this as a rewrite of a chapter from the original version. If so, give yourself a pat on the back! Nice waahnnn! We're approaching the point where I've got less rewriting and more posting to do, so hopefully, I should be able to post more chapters.

In other news, my pre-reader, the wonderful DJK, has sadly told me he can no longer provide his services :( Anybody wanna take the job?

Chapter VII: Bad Dreams

3 WEEKS LATER

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Luna lowered her gaze from her beloved stars to her even-more beloved subjects. Her announcement that Nightmare Night was to be replaced with a glorious feast just completed, she scanned the ponies around her, fully expecting a round of applause any minute now…any minute…

“Did you hear that, everypony!? Nightmare Moon’s gonna feast on us!”

“WWAAHHHHHHHH!”

Luna dropped back to all fours as panicked screams echoed all around her, immediately switching to damage control: “What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!!”

Okay, this looked bad, but not something she couldn’t rein in. She just had to make a few gestures, talk up the local bigwigs, give them a chance to schmooze up to her, and all would be well, right? At least, that had worked in the past whenever she’d committed some sort of social faux pas.

Spying the mayor, the night-blue Alicorn strode up to her and offered her hoof. “Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived!” She bellowed in her familiar Canterlot tone.

But the mayor didn’t even look up at her. She didn’t bow, kiss the hoof, or do any of the things ponies had done for her the hundreds of times she had met up with them. Instead, the smaller mare remained curled up in a little ball, shivering fearfully.

Her heart plummeting into her guts, Luna repeated the motion, offering her hoof up to the next pony closest to her, then another. The reactions were all the same. Quivering bodies, gasps of fear, hooves clamped firmly over eyes. It wasn’t Princess Luna they saw, she realized, but the Nightmare that had haunted their dreams for the past thousand years.

“What is the matter with you?” She bellowed, managing to keep the pleading tone out of her voice with years of practice and breeding. “Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell.”

She turned away from the townsponies with a “hmph!” and her snout in the air, remaining proud and tall, not revealing the icicle of pain shooting through her heart, not allowing a single one of the tears welling up in her eyes to reveal themselves, not portraying a single shred of the emotional turmoil wrenching her insides as she trotted away with the realization that nothing had changed. She was finally free of the moon, but she was just as alone as when she’d first been locked away. She still wasn’t seen as the beloved princess that her sister was. Worse yet, she was feared, even further away from ever knowing the adoration that her sister knew, the praise, the accolades…

...the love…

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“Princess Luna?”

“Hmm?” The Princess of Night opened her eyes in surprise, the memory dashed away by the rising sun. The royal guard poking his head into her carriage arched an eyebrow at her.

“We’ve arrived, Princess,” he said.

“Ah, yes,” she pulled herself off the plush seat and waved the guard on. He nodded and returned to his posting, allowing the doorpony to hold the carriage door open for her. She sighed and gazed upwards as she took her first steps outside after nearly half a day’s travel. The great spires of the Crystal Empire gleamed down at her, shimmering in the sunlight. Crystal ponies trotted by in the shadow of the portcullis, some staring wide-eyed at the sight of a Princess in their city, most simply trotting and galloping past, too occupied with their own business to even spare a quick glance.

As beautiful as the Empire was, it did little to improve her mood. Old memories of ponies running and cowering in fear (and for good reason, perhaps) had a funny way of doing that. Sure, she understood. It took time to overcome a thousand years of rumors and dark bedtime stories. Still, that didn’t change the hurt.

She scowled at the realization that the old pain was rising up again. She was a Princess of Equestria, for pity’s sake! She had faced down the worst villains her world had to offer, battles now in the history books were still fresh in her mind! Of course, that didn’t stop the ache in her heart, no matter how she tried to ignore it. It was even starting to show in her work: the moon’s rise was a bit more ragged with each passing day, and the stars came out with a jolting start, rather than their usual, slow twinkle. It didn’t take a shrink to figure out why.

Perhaps Tia was right, she mused. This vacation should do us some good, and mayhap we might even find the chance to do battle with yon bugs at some point! That would be nice, a good old-fashioned medieval clash of magic and swords might just be what the doctor ordered. Who needs therapy when one can just crush a few skulls?

“Princess!” A familiar voice rang out over the crowd. Luna couldn’t help but smile at it, genuinely happy to hear it again.

“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna embraced the little unicorn as she threw herself into her regal hooves. “So good to see you again.”

“And you, Princess,” Twilight said happily as her friends all trotted up behind her. Luna sighed with relief as all the old fear she once saw in their eyes failed to present itself. Even the little yellow pegasus stared up at her warmly, actually happy to see her, where just a few months before she could barely even meet the lunar ruler’s eyes.

“Celestia said you’d be coming, so I wanted to be the first to welcome you to the Crystal Empire!” Twilight announced as she pulled herself out of Luna’s hooves.

Luna’s smile deepened. She could see how this one, simple unicorn could hold such a close place in her sister’s heart. Twilight had been the one to give her a chance when no other pony would; giving Luna the tiny opening she needed to begin her reintegration into society. Still, it would be a long, hard road, and there remained ponies that looked over their shoulders at her with whispers of “Nightmare Moon” on their lips, but at least a few ponies had started to see a loving princess where before they’d only seen the wretched beast of their childhood nightmares. To think, all it took was a bit of love from a single unicorn with an open heart.

Oy, did she really just think that? Maybe she needed this vacation more than she thought. Who knew she could be such a sap!?

“C’mon!” Twilight took the Princess's hoof and started to drag her towards the Empire’s gates, watched over by a full platoon of crystal pony guards. “There’s so much to show you!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash, one of Twilight’s friends that Luna recognized as the little trickster from Nightmare Night, swooped into view. “You won’t be too busy with royal business to do a little sightseeing, right?”

“Right,” Luna said, a massive smile on her face. A little sightseeing sounded excellent just then. Around her, the six Element Bearers started on about the things they were going to eat and the views they were gonna check out and all the wonderful things there were to see in the Empire. At least, that’s what everyone but the pink one was talking about. Pinkie was going so fast she might have been recounting the signing of the Magna Carta for all Luna knew. A contented smile spread across Luna’s face. This week sounded like it would be a nice, long, and boring way for her to forget her troubles a little while and maybe do a little good for Equestria.

After all, between the Crystal Heart, Cadence and Shining Armor, and all six of the Elements of Harmony all in one spot, what could go wrong?

Luna frowned at that thought. Okay, perhaps she would keep an eye out. Just in case.

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"Mama…"

The tired, bleak eyes of the aging mare before her rolled over to lock with her own, focusing for just an extra minute, as if even that was a serious strain for her. A quivering smile formed on those cracked lips, and for the first time since this whole ordeal began, Chyrsalis understood true fear. These were not the strong, loving eyes she had grown up with. These were…something else. Something resigned. The changeling princess gripped her queen’s hoof, tears rolling down her cheeks as she nuzzled it. “Mama…”

“My dearest little Chrysalis,” the Queen said, her voice like sandpaper being rubbed against itself. She stroked a hoof through the filly’s mane, letting the short tendrils of teal hair pass through the holes on her legs. “What is it? Tell your mama what has you so upset?”

Chrysalis could only sniffle and cuddle the hoof, her lip quivering.

“I know, hon, I know,” the older mare whispered, her voice harsh. “Come here.”

With a few shaky gasps, Chrysalis clambered up onto the bed, lying next to the dying mare, grateful they could be alone. The doctors were gone. They had done all they could, it was obvious now that the only thing that could be done was make her comfortable. The end was coming, when it would really depended on her resilience.

Chrysalis hugged her Queen and squeezed with all the might in her little body, as if she could keep her here if she tried hard enough. She sniffled. Even her little, filly mind could tell what was coming. Could anyling really be long for this world with a shell so gray? Or chitin so cracked? Or a grip so weak?

Still, the little filly in her refused to believe this was happening, still refused to accept the reality of what was happening, still thought that if she asked nice enough the grown-ups would fix this, because grown-ups could fix anything if you asked nice enough. “Don’t go, please,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“And I love you, my little Princess. And so does your daddy, even though he doesn’t act like it sometimes,” the mare said.

“Then why isn’t he here!?” Chrysalis bellowed. “If he loved you, he’d be right here, fixing this! Making you better!”

The mare squeezed her, holding her tight against her chest. “Your daddy is a busy stallion, Chrissy. He can’t be at the hive all the time.”

“He isn’t at the hive ever!” Chrysalis sobbed. “That’s why you can’t go, mama! If you go, I’ll be all alone, and I don’t wanna be all alone!”

The mare sighed; a low, trembling noise that reminded Chrysalis of the wind through one of the abandoned caverns she would explore in the kingdom’s border regions. Those places which had once held life, but now only held roosting bats, the occasional Ursa, and cracked silverware or abandoned hatchling pods: ghosts of what had once been. Hearing that sound from her mother’s throat sent shivering sobs through Chrysalis’s tiny body.

“Chrissy? You need to listen now, this is very important.” Chrysalis obeyed, lifting her head off her mother’s chest and meeting her gaze, ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart at the glazed, vacant look in her eyes. This was not the sort of look mama was supposed to have in her eyes. Mama was supposed to look strong and determined, or soft and loving, but not like this. Not like the old changelings in the retirement caverns when they knew their time could be measured in hours.

“You have to be brave now, Chrissy, okay? You know your responsibilities as a princess. Daddy will…” the Queen gave another empty, gasping sigh that rattled her chest beneath Chrysalis’s hooves in a way that terrified her, but she continued. “Daddy will try, but you’ll still have to be brave for him, okay? Can you do that? Be brave for me and daddy?”

Chrysalis sniffled, but nodded, laying her chin on her mother’s barrel as the hoof continued to stroke her mane. “I just don’t wanna be alone, mama. I don’t wanna be alone.”

At that, the mare did something Chrysalis never expected anyling in her position to even be capable of: she smiled. Not just that hollowed-out smile Chrysalis had gotten used to ever since her mama had been put in this bed either, but a genuine smile that for a moment lit up her face. For that wonderful moment, she looked like the powerful, invulnerable mare Chrysalis remembered, and the filly’s heart leapt at the sight. “Someday, my princess, you will meet someone who will make you feel like the stars were something they wove together just for you,” she whispered. Then the moment ended, and that tired look entered her eyes again.

Chrysalis let out a sob and hugged her mama closer, her little forelegs squeezing, trying desperately to hold on, to keep the older mare here, and most of all, to not let her go, no matter what might happen, no matter the weakening breath in the mare or her rapidly vacating eyes or the newcomer at the door calling over and over: “My Queen? My Queen…”

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“My Queen?”

“What?” Chrysalis’s eyes darted open just as one of her subjects poked his little face into the cavern.

“We are ready, your highness,” the changeling said.

“Ah, yes,” she rose to her hooves, which quaked from hours spent crossed under her body. Her steps echoed in the massive cavern as she strode towards the entrance. She tried to grin wickedly along the way, like she usually did, but something inside her kept trying to turn the grin into a sob, and she couldn’t tolerate that. The changeling nodded and happily flitted away to alert his brothers and sisters to her approach, leaving her alone in the small cavern.

Alone. Always alone. She shook her head and cursed herself. “That was years ago, Chrysalis, get a grip,” she snarled, the image of that beautiful mare lying on her death bed playing itself over and over in her head. Why was that damnable memory rising up now!? Something to do with the cold, or the Crystal Heart? She pondered that, or maybe…

She paused, tallying up the years in her head. After a few moments, she nodded. “Yep, a hundred years to the day,” she sighed, shaking her head. “Happy death-day, mother.”

She turned to one of her reflections in the crystal cavern, looking herself over with her mother’s final words echoing in her head. Though she was quite beautiful by changeling standards, she knew what Equestria saw: a monster, a wretched thing that needed to hide behind masks just to walk their streets. A thing that fed on love like some kind of vampire, stealing it away, which was ridiculous! Love was to changelings what the sun was to a blade of grass! Did the sun dim because the grass fed on it!? Of course not! It was just another rumor spread by those little, xenophobic…

She sneered. Yes, there we go. There was the anger she needed!

“Your Highness?” The changeling poked his head out at her again.

“Coming,” she hissed, stalking out of the caverns like the apex predator she knew she was. Yep, an invasion of Equestrian territory was just what the doctor ordered. She couldn’t do Canterlot again, of course, the city was almost certainly still fortified from her attack on the royal wedding. She would need someplace with fewer defenses, someplace that might just be recovering from a crisis all its own. The Crystal Empire fit the bill perfectly. As the latest addition to Equestria, its defenses were low, still recovering from a thousand years’ isolation and ex-King Sombra’s siege. Better yet, it was far enough from the rest of Equestria that she knew any response from Canterlot would be delayed, giving her time to consolidate her grip on the city and set up defenses. Then her infiltrators had returned with news that the Elements of Harmony were vacationing in the Empire, and that the Princess of Night would soon be joining them, and immediately it became too tempting a target to resist. Especially with the plan she had.

She remembered the day of Sombra’s defeat, watching pure, crystallized love radiate from the city, and yet when it washed over her…oh, the taste! The strength! And hey, her shell didn’t look so bad crystallized! It was pure luck that she’d been strolling through the frozen wastes, curious to see the so-called “city of crystal” for herself. And after a little bit of research into the Empire’s history, she suddenly had it: a total game-changer. A weapon charged with the love of an entire city. And with that under her wing, what could stop her?

Plans were drawn up, soldiers mobilized, infiltrators were sent to spy on every level of the crystal ponies’ society, and the Elements were monitored. Now, as she stood before her people, an army gathered in the middle of a humongous cavern, ready to burst up right beneath the crystal pony’s hooves, she knew everything was about to come to fruition. She knew she was about to exact her revenge upon everypony that had ruined her plans before, from that infuriating Twilight Sparkle to the couple who’s love magic had last thrown her out of Canterlot.

Oh yeah, there we go! There was the fire she needed! As she gazed out over the crowd of changelings looking up at her expectantly, she grinned. They all grinned right back. Her high generals stood in the front, one holding a half-eaten maggot from the Hive, his mouth hanging open in awe. Every changeling beneath her believed in every one of their little black hearts that she was about to say something incredible, something awe-inspiring. She aimed not to disappoint.

Suddenly, Chrysalis hunched her shoulders, letting a tired sigh pass by her lips. The changelings looked on in confusion, staring at her, then at each other. Only the older veterans shared a knowing grin. They recognized this old ploy, though Chrysalis hadn’t used it in a while.

“I’m sorry, my changelings,” she rasped. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.”

A few moments of silence passed, during which some of the braver in the crowd called up a few sympathetic chirps. Chrysalis sat on her haunches, her shoulders rolled forward, allowing the whispers to reach a fever pitch in the crowd.

“I don’t know, my changelings, perhaps we should just go home,” she sighed, turning as if to trot out the cavern again. “Perhaps we should learn when we’re beaten. Perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel and let the ponies have their light.”

A few shocked cries made their rounds through the crowd. Most of the changelings just sat there, dumbfounded. Some even fell over in place, barely able to support themselves in their shock. Finally, one voice cried out: “NO!”

Chrysalis’s ear perked. She kept her head bowed to disguise the grin cracking across her face. That had been just what she was waiting for. “Do I hear a ‘no’?” She asked, facing the crowd again. “So…you want to try again, my changelings?”

A decently-sized group of “yeahs” filled the cavern, a few of the changelings wearing the sorts of smiles you only saw on a creature hyped and ready for battle, made all the more intimidating by their gleaming, sharpened fangs.

“So…you think a species that has predated upon the ponies for centuries has a chance at winning the day?”

More enthusiastic yells, with a few whoops added in for good measure.

“So…you believe that the only kingdom in Equestria to remain free of Discord’s chaos during his breakout is destined for greatness!?” Her voice rose slightly, projecting enough to boom throughout the caverns.

More whoops, more whistles, and excited chittering from the greenest recruits.

“Then you believe that a nation which pre-dates Equestria and has continued to exist despite all the odds stacked against it can prevail in spite of past failures!?”

The cheers were accompanied with hoof-stomps this time, along with enthusiastic battle-cries which boomed off the walls.

She was screaming now, her voice carrying throughout the caverns with a power gained from years of experience. “Then you believe that when the dust has settled, it is the changelings that will rule all!? That the hardiest of species, not the friendliest, deserves to rule the world!?”

The crowd went insane with cheers and yes’s. Chrysalis extended her hooves outward, basking in the rolling waves of rising testosterone, the feel of a thousand hoofbeats stamping together. It was intoxicating, and she still had to deliver the final blow.

“And you believe with the right amount of love, with the love of an entire empire focused in one place, that species is capable of anything!?”

“YEAAAAHHHHH!” The crowd bellowed as one. One heart. One voice. One beat. These moments were the ones she lived for. These were the times when it was only too wonderful to be the Queen of the Changelings.

“Then go!” She roared. “Go and show them we will not break and shatter, we will not journey off into the dark to lick our wounds and cry! Go and show them the might of a real apex predator!”

The sound of a thousand beating wings filled the air, a thousand beating hearts: the beautiful noise of a swarm on the wing, ready to overwhelm all that might stand in its way. She threw up her hooves and cackled amidst the wingbeats of her children, the changelings flooding into the air completely engulfing her. It was so wonderful, so perfect, so completely at her command, so…so…

You’d be so proud, mother…

Dammit, it just had to come out, didn’t it? Despite her best efforts, the thought she’d been fighting back had surfaced, and now there was nothing for it. She sneered angrily and retreated to her caverns as the first tears, the first of many, started rolling down her cheeks. She growled, angry at herself for still feeling this way. “Dammit, Chrysalis, that was years ago, get over it!” She roared at herself once she knew she was alone, and still the tears came.

Dear gods, whoever said time heals all wounds should have been beaten for their idiocy. No, all time did was scar the wounds over, make them hurt a little less, but still liable to open up again with the proper prodding. Of course, it certainly didn’t help that her mother’s death was only the beginning of those dark, terrible times…

“Shut up,” she whispered, her head cradled in her hooves. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

This was so wrong. She was Chrysalis, queen of the changelings! That scared little filly was gone! She just needed a few moments to remind herself of that, and she’d be right as rain! She’d be the Queen her changelings needed her to be…

Unfortunately, not every changeling was so willing to give her that time. High-General Chickit, for instance, watched his Queen’s back as she stifled another series of sobs, her shoulders heaving with the effort. “Just like your mother,” he whispered under his breath as he turned and trotted away to join his Praetorians. “Ah well, nothing for it now. You brought this on yourself, Chrysalis.”

Author's Notes:

Gyawd, yeah. I know it's been a while. I've had a half-dozen other stories distracting me guys, sorry, and I've had to balance that with work and working out.

That being said, special thanks go out to my new pre-readers: Blitzkrieg (don't let the Nazi-sounding name fool ya, he's a swell guy), duckboy416 (him too), VeeEight (who gets this month's Kildeez Badge of Literary Awesomeness for his input), and The Literary Lord (who is likewise a lovely fellow).

Chapter VIII: The Crystal Heart

The Crystal Heart shimmered in its own divine light, reflecting off the walls of the mammoth cavern buried deep beneath the Crystal Palace. It made for a spectacular show; the heart suspended in its own magic, sending little speckles of light glittering through the air. Of course, even the greatest light shows could get old after a while, which was why the crystal ponies standing guard at the cavern’s entrance had been bored almost to tears.

Guard Ajax slapped himself and straightened up as sleep threatened to overwhelm him again. It had been another sleepless night, what with the new foal in his house crying out every couple hours, and his partner was no help in staying awake. The little tyke really seemed to have a knack for sensing right when mommy and daddy were drifting off to start bawling for something. Worst yet, his partner was no help whatsoever.

“Dude, keep it together!” The other pony hissed.

“I’m trying, dangit!” Usually, Ajax might be able to tolerate his fellow guardspony’s scolding, but not today. Not after a night of trudging back and forth from that cursed crib setup along one wall of the master bedroom. Ten feet might not seem like such an unbelievably, retardedly long distance, but that was before he’d needed to walk it at three in the morning with a newborn’s cries in his ears.

“I’m just looking out for our jobs!” The other pony whispered angrily. “You do know there’s a hundred ponies out there just waiting for one of us palace guards to screw up so they can get off night patrol, right!?”

Ajax opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again when he realized how right his partner was. Being displaced for a thousand years hadn’t been all that kind to the Empire’s economy, even with the massive boom of tourists hoping to get a glimpse of the “long-lost City of Crystal.” Most jobs thriving in the city today were whatever had already been in place before its disappearance, and even some of those wound up being totally obsolete in this new Equestria, like the local witch-doctor and the blood-letter (and no, the threat of a voodoo curse on Princess Cadence’s royal hiney had done nothing to sway her opinion on witch-doctoring as a whole). All this meant that the only thing left for most ponies Ajax’s age was guard duty, and in these times of peace that meant either patrolling day in and day out in the bitter cold, or guarding one of the dozens of empty rooms contained within the Crystal Palace. Why Sombra had built so many rooms into the Palace when it was obvious nopony could possibly find use for them all was anypony’s guess, though it might have served as the perfect excuse to build more stairs.

“Cripes, I just wish there was something to do in here besides look at a big, shiny rock,” Ajax muttered.

“That ‘shiny rock’ is the only reason the Empire is finally free of that tyrant’s influence right now,” his partner scolded, and right on cue. Ajax grimaced, his teeth grinding, as the other pony prattled on. “What, don’t tell me you’re waxing nostalgic for the days of Sombra, are you?”

“No, no,” Ajax replied, trying to keep from just spitting the words out, as if hoping they might take form and smack his partner in the face. “But say whatcha will about the big, evil palooka; he knew how to keep the guards occupied.”

“Yeah,” the other pony sneered. “Torturing prisoners, stomping on little filly’s toys to feed on their misery, slaving away in the mines, I see what you mean. Never a dull moment, truly.”

“Okay, y’know what!?” Ajax barked. “I didn’t get any sleep at all last night, so couldja just can it!?”

“You wanta make me!?” The other pony dared.

“In fact,” Ajax threw down his spear and galloped up to the other pony, stopping just as their muzzles touched so he could glare into his eyes. “I think that’s just what I wanna do!”

The other pony glared, then closed his eyes and puckered his lips out, closing the gap between their muzzles with a kiss. Ajax took a couple steps back in surprise, gasped, and broke out in snickers. “Stop doing that when I’m trying to be serious!” He laughed.

“Oh, but you’re so cute when you’re surprised!” The other pony laughed, leaning against his spear. “Oy, that foal is gonna be the death of us.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to adopt!” Ajax said defensively. “’But Ajie! There are so many foals down at the orphanage and there’s this one with a little spot just over her eye that would be perfect for us!’ Those were your exact words!”

“Ah yes,” the other pony grinned, a hoof tracing around his lover’s chin. “And then I turned on the sad, widdle puppy dog eyes and you caved like the whipped little colt you are.”

“Hey, I’m a lot of things, sweets, but I’m not whipped!” Ajax said defiantly, pulling away.

“Bitch, please. I could get you to kamikaze Captain Armor himself with the sad widdle puppy dog eyes.”

“That’ll be the…”

A loud crash from the hallway interrupted the pair. Ajax quickly wheeled around to face the entryway. “Love, you better get your spear,” his lover whispered, grip tightening around his own. Nodding, Ajax scrambled for his weapon, knocking his helmet askew in the process. Whirling around to face the entryway, helmet barely hanging over one ear, Ajax gripped his spear so hard his hooves turned white around it. “And relax, please, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sorry sweets,” Ajax mumbled in reply, spear still raised. “What do you think that was?”

“We should check it out.”

“That we should.”

Still, it was another few minutes before Ajax worked up the courage to take the lead, spear held in one hoof and pointed forwards just like he’d been taught in what little training he had received. Slowly working his way forward, he called out: “Huh-who goes there?”

“So very intimidating,” his partner’s voice said behind him. “My hero.”

Ajax fought back the urge to grin as he repeated himself, louder and more confident this time. “Who goes there? We are guards of the Crystal Empire: come out now and make it easy on yourself!”

A few sniffles replied. The pair watched as a little filly stumbled in, tears in her big, green eyes and patches of dirt staining her lavender coat. “Ah, jeez,” Ajax mumbled, setting his spear down and galloping up to the filly and approaching her slowly and cautiously, like someone approaching a scared bunny.

“What’s a kid even doing down here?” His partner said, scratching his chin as he lowered his spear.

“I dunno,” Ajax whispered as he leaned closer to the filly. The foal’s eyes widened in fear and she sniffled pathetically, shying away from his hoof. “Aww, it’s okay sweetheart, we’re the good guys!”

“She kind of reminds you of Seraphim, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Ajax grinned at his adopted daughter’s name as the foal cautiously approached. “So how about it, beautiful: what’s somepony like you doing in a place like this?”

“Oh, you over-romantic sap! You got me with that exact same line!” The other pony laughed, slapping his knee with a hoof.

“I-I lost my daddy,” the filly sniffled, whimpering with a tiny, barely-audible voice. “H-he said he was j-just gonna be a minute, and then I saw something shiny and I went to see what it was but then I couldn’t find whereIwasandnowI’mlostand…and…” tears welled up in her eyes as she babbled.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay now, the Crystal Guard’s here,” Ajax wrapped the filly in a hug and led her towards the door. “Sweets, you wanna hold down the fort while I help this little one out?”

“Sure, but be back soon! You might miss out on all the excitement!”

“Har-de-har,” Ajax said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he escorted the filly into the hallway. Of course, he was so distracted by both concern for the child and his partner’s sarcastic comments that he never noticed the way one of the crystals in the hall’s roof didn’t shimmer like the rest of them, seeming to shift restlessly in the light. “Now, little miss, why don’t you tell me about your missing daddy?”

“Well,” the little filly stammered bashfully as they trotted along. “He’s a guard pony, just like you…”

“Mmh-hmm.”

“He’s pretty brave, just like you.”

“Well now,” Ajax blushed at the compliment, never even noticing the odd little patch of crystal behind his head suddenly shift and dangle downwards.

A malicious grin crossed the filly’s face, her eyes glowing green. “And he’s super gullible, just like you.”

“Wha-“ he managed to ask before a pair of black, hole-filled hooves smashed against the back of his skull, exposed thanks to the helmet still dangling off one ear. Ajax went down like a sack of potatoes: he never stood even a slim chance. Still grinning, the filly watched as the large changeling winked, then resumed his place, hidden in the ceiling. Once her partner was hidden once more, she cleared her throat and prepared herself.

“Mmh-hmm, me-me-me-me-me…okay…okay…” she hissed to herself in a strange, otherworldly voice, trying to focus. Satisfied that she was ready, she pointed a hoof at Ajax and let loose with an ungodly scream: “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The other guard tore around the corner in a panic, spear still in his hoof. “What’s happen-AJIE!” He rushed to his partner’s side, dropping his spear and cradling the fallen pony’s head in his hooves. “What happened!?”

“I-I dunno!” The filly gasped. “We were just talking about my dad, when suddenly this happened…” without another word, a craggy, black horn appeared in the middle of the filly’s forehead and nailed the remaining pony right on the noggin; not enough to wound him, but enough to knock his helmet askew, clearing the way for yet another sneak attack by the hidden changeling. The filly grinned wickedly as the second pony fell at her hooves.

“Nice one, Switch,” the false filly hissed.

“You too, Bait,” the large changeling nodded, his deep, gravelly voice echoing along the tomb-like walls of the cavern. He flicked a torn ear and peered around, one eye wheeling about while the blinded other remained fixed straight ahead. With a few cracks and pops, he rose to his full, impressive height. “I think you can come outta your disguise now.”

Without another word, the filly disappeared in a flash of green, and a smaller changeling stood in her place. He grinned, one of his fangs missing, at his partner. “Two guards? You’d think these ponies would guard their most valuable weapon a bit more carefully.”

“Just makes our job that much easier,” Switch replied, smirking as he threw the ponies against the wall and bent over them, securing their hooves and muzzles with a quick jet of goo from the tip of his horn.

“And hey, we’ve got something for the hive!” Bait said, jumping around enthusiastically like a filly on Hearth’s Warming morning. “A straight-up, romantic couple!”

“Yuh-yeah,” Switch stammered, shifting uncomfortably as he continued securing the ponies.

“Seriously though, are you feeling this!?” Bait ran up to the pair and took just the smallest sample of their love, draining it directly from Ajax. “This stuff is good! I mean, we might feed the entire hatchery on just…”

“Yeah, could we not?” Switch asked, disguising a light shudder that quivered through his insect-like wings, one of which sprawled lamely off to the side.

Bait cocked an eyebrow, or at least, he scrunched up the layer of chitin on his forehead where he would have eyebrows. “Why not? You want all this love to just go to waste?”

“I’m just not…comfortable with having all the hatchlings around these two, y’know?”

Bait’s jaw dropped. “Switch!”

“What?”

“That’s so insensitive!”

“Insen-Bait, you were just talking about serving these two up to the hive’s offspring!” Switch replied, tapping the unconscious head of one of the ponies for emphasis. “We’re a couple of emotion-feeding monsters, for Chrysalis's sake!”

“Yeah, but we don’t have to be homophobic jerks too! I mean, there’s villainy, and then there’s intolerance,” the smaller changeling harrumphed, turning away with his black hooves crossed over his narrow chest. “I swear, sometimes, I’m not sure I even know you anymore.”

“Oh, don’t start this again, not when we’re about to make an offering to the Queen.”

“Just when were you going to tell me you didn’t like gays!? That’s an important thing for us to talk about!”

“Why do we need to talk about it!? Why do you think we need to talk about every little thing!?”

“Because this is an important disparity in beliefs! What about Crash and Burn, hmm? What if I’d wanted to invite them over so we could all hang out together!?”

Switch repeated the forehead-chitin-scrunch thing, his one good eye visibly confused at the mention of the swarm’s token homosexual couple. “Since when do you know those two?”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT! The point is…”

“My loving subjects,” the beautiful, melodic tone of their Queen interrupted.

“Oh, your Highness!” The pair quickly pushed away from the bound guards and knelt at their Queen’s hooves, their heads bowed.

“My Queen,” Switch’s voice rumbled. “We have completed the task set before us and cleared all resistance from the chamber containing the Crystal Heart.”

“Excellent work, my servants,” Chrysalis intoned, smiling as she patted each Changeling on the head. The smile turned malicious as the buzzing of hundreds of insect-like wings filled the air in the cave. “You have the gratitude of the swarm.”

“There is more, my Queen: we present to you this pair of ponies that were guarding the Heart,” Bait glared at his partner. “And whose love is EVERY BIT as wonderful as any other couples’.”

Switch had never wanted the ability to kill someling with his mind more than he did right that very moment. As it was, he just had to satisfy himself with the thought of pummeling the smaller changeling later on, out of the Queen’s sight.

“Um…yes…” Chrysalis said, looking between the pair in confusion at the smaller changeling’s outburst. “That is…also excellent. They shall be taken to feed the Swarm immediately.”

“May I suggest the hatchery, my Queen? I’m sure they’ll serve as food for the young just as fine as any other pony.” Bait said, glaring at his partner and stamping his hoof with each word for emphasis.

Switch growled and glared back, focusing as much sheer effort as possible into picturing Bait’s head exploding. He’d never heard of someling killing another just by thinking about it hard enough, but damn if he didn’t want to try.

“Your…recommendations will be…taken into consideration…my servant,” Chrysalis said haltingly. There was obviously something going on here, but it was likely of a personal nature between the two. Best leave them to work it out on their own. “Well, with that accomplished, I should congratulate the two of you! Now go: join your brethren at the assigned place!”

“Yes, my Queen,” the pair replied before trotting off, Bait taking the form of a young unicorn stallion with a powder-blue coat and Switch choosing a beefier pony with a buzz-cut mane and chartreuse fur. As they trotted away, the Queen watched the larger pony bat the smaller upside the back of his head, and immediately the pair set to hissing at each other.

Chrysalis shook her head. “Two of the best infiltrators of the swarm, capable of a level of cooperation to take down any foe. Heaven help the changeling race.” She smiled as she turned away from the two, the sound of buzzing wings growing louder. It was, frankly, the most beautiful sound in the world to her, her swarm…

Well, there’s that, and also the inevitability of victory. Chrysalis turned back to the chamber, the Heart glowing in the center of the room. She grinned evilly as she trotted up to the heart, just spinning in mid-air before her. Love between two ponies can sustain a hive, love of family can fill a changeling’s belly, but the love of an entire Empire…

“I suppose I should thank you, Prince Shining Armor, for keeping the Crystal Heart charged in case of emergencies,” she cackled as a light-green stream materialized from the surface of the heart and latched onto her horn, her children crowding at the entranceway to watch as she began a quick drain of the power contained within. “After all, where else would I find this much love gathered in one place!?”

She threw her head back and let loose with one of her trademarked evil laughs, her swarm chittering excitedly at each other, readying themselves in caverns all around the city, the ponies above completely unaware that their greatest defense had just been turned against them.

Author's Notes:

So yeah, Switch is a homophobe...

Hey, don't give me that look! It was his dad, y'know? He's a great guy once you get to know him!

Chapter IX: Conquest Over Drinks

Princess Luna leaned back in her chair, sipping at the wonderful little drink the Element Bearers had just introduced her to...what did they call it again...ah yes, coffee! It was an ancient drink, lost to time, its recipe forgotten through the centuries. Just one of the benefits of having a giant time capsule land in one's own backyard, she thought, tilting her head back for another sip. Not that the rediscovery of some drink even began to make up for the thousands of ponies whose lives were uprooted by that wretched king (she refused to even think his name: he had tainted enough thoughts and dreams for her to spare him even that), but still, it had to count as a silver lining.

The sun warmed Luna’s face as she enjoyed her time there in the little café, its outdoor area proving far superior to the dingy, darkened little tavern that managed it all. Why, cold notwithstanding, it was amazing how somepony could choose the tiny grouping of tables and grimy bar inside over the quaint metal chairs outside. Then again, those ponies she had seen seemed like the type that might want as little light as possible on them, especially once the buzz kicked in. Well, to each his own, who was she to judge?

Sighing contentedly, the Princess looked up just as a pair of crystal ponies trotted by, chatting amicably. Luna’s night-blue eyes scanned along the sparkling streets and over the glittering store fronts, a few of which towered over the city with huge, crystalline spires perched on their rooftops. As she watched, one shop owner pulled the curtain back from his window, revealing shelves full of rock candy and sparkling sponge cakes (how the crystal ponies managed to transfer their love of hard little sparkly rocks into food was beyond everypony) as he threw a friendly wave to the pair trotting by. Luna smiled; it was so nice to see the Empire recovering. Her niece and nephew-in-law had truly been the right choices for ruling. Under them, perhaps the Empire did have a chance at reintegrating into Equestrian society!

And then she watched the shop owner suddenly scowl and flip his little sign back to "Closed", sliding the curtain over his window shut again. Confused, she scanned down the street, only finding an earth pony tourist trotting along with a camera around his neck. The pony, distracted by the gorgeous sights of the Empire, didn’t spare the closed shop a second glance. Once he rounded the corner, the shop owner peeked out his curtain after the pony, ensuring he was gone before flipping his sign back to "Open.”

Or perhaps not, Luna scowled. She had almost forgotten about that unfortunate part of ancient Equestrian society, but some of the crystal ponies apparently had not. She sipped at her coffee again, biting back her anger. She knew as a Canterlot princess, it really wasn't her business to meddle with the affairs of the Empire. Technically the city was a vassal state with its own guard and its own government to handle things like this, but ooh did she ever want to just swoop down onto that little shop owner's head and give him a blast of the good ol' Nightmare Moon act...

"Princess?" A timid voice asked.

Luna's head whipped around, her eyes locking on the bright, baby blues of the Element of Kindness. Oh shoot, she had almost completely forgotten she was here with other ponies! That was a thousand years of isolation for you. Taking another sip off her coffee, she pasted a big fake smile on her face. “It’s rather beautiful here, is it not?” Luna asked.

“Oh, just gorgeous,” the Element of Generosity replied. “Why, I’ve found inspiration for a dozen dresses just while we were sitting here!”

“Rarity,” Twilight said with a stern look in her eyes (which was hard to take seriously thanks to the mustache made of hayseed whiskey sour on her lip). “This is supposed to be a vacation for you, remember?”

“Oh but darlings, how can one relax when one is surrounded by so much beauty?”

Luna smiled again as she took another sip from her cup. They were such a wonderful group of ponies. She wondered why she’d tuned them out in the first place.

“So anywaaaaayy…” the Element of Laughter said, picking up where she’d left off while Luna daydreamed. “Like I said, I just can’t tell what my favorite tongue twister is: is it ‘Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers’? Or maybe it’s ‘She sells seashells by the seashore’? Ooh! Or how about…”

Oh, that's why, Luna sighed, taking a nice, long gulp from her cup just as the little pink mare suddenly stopped and gagged.

“Pinkie?” Twilight asked in concern. Pinkie’s jaw dropped, her tongue rolling out her mouth and onto the table, tied into an assortment of different knots. Luna watched everypony else at the table heave a quick sigh of relief. Obviously, she wasn’t the only one who could grow tired of their friend’s ranting.

“So…” Twilight mumbled, easing the tongue back into Pinkie’s mouth with her magic. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright, Princess?”

“Oh yes, we…we mean, I have been doing quite fine since you saw me last, Miss Twilight,” Luna replied happily. “Those letters on friendship have been quite the boon, they’ve offered a trove of knowledge for helping me reintegrate into Equestrian society.”

“I’m so glad!” Twilight beamed.

“Yes, it sounds like you’ve made quite a bit of progress since that wretched affair on Nightmare Night,” Rarity added, sipping her appletini.

“Heheh, yeah, Nightmare Night,” Luna sighed, recalling the image of ponies running in fear from the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Not that it was all that bad! I just meant…um…” Rarity ran a nervous hoof through her mane, complementing herself with a nice, big gulp from her drink. “My, these are good, aren’t they!?” She asked, desperate to change the subject.

Applejack took a sip of the appletini in front of her, grimaced, and immediately got up to head for the bar. “AJ, where you goin’?” Rainbow asked.

“T’give the bartender a piece a’ my mind!” The country pony replied, grim determination in her eyes. “Ah’ll be consarned if there’s ever been a real apple anywhere near this swill!”

“I think I’ll go with her,” Dash said, flapping after her friend. “If she gets into a fight with the bartender, she’ll need backup!”

Luna arched an eyebrow as the pair disappeared into the bar’s main building. “Is there really a chance that…”

“No, Princess, no! Of course not! They would never start a fight over something so petty!” Twilight said quickly, lifting her hayseed whiskey sour to her lips to hide a quick glance at the bar’s windows.

“Probably,” Rarity added out the corner of her mouth.

“We’re just happy to have you here with us, Princess,” Fluttershy said, speaking up again.

Luna felt warmth blossom in her chest at the way the little pegasus could look at her without the fear that had been present on Nightmare Night. “And I am happy to be here with you, my little ponies.”

“There, see? You’re getting it!” Twilight giggled. “Soon, ponies’ll be eating out of your hooves, just like with Celestia!”

Twilight realized her faux pas almost the moment it left her lips, though Luna did an incredible job of disguising the cringe it caused her. For the other ponies’ parts, they’d all seen Twilight’s slip of the tongue coming from miles away, but had been powerless to stop it. Even Rarity, the mare whose elegance turned heads at the stuffiest of Canterlot parties, choked on her martini and started waving her hooves like an air traffic controller at the Hindenburg disaster as the last of the words left Twilight’s mouth, though she’d regained her composure by the time Luna’s gaze finally left Twilight’s.

“Oh...gosh…” Twilight gasped. “Princess…I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…I sometimes say things, I…”

“Think not on it, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna assured her with a smile that was just a couple notches below looking completely genuine. “We know what you meant, and completely understand.”

In the lull that followed, her beloved sister’s last words to her crossed Luna’s mind. She considered them thoughtfully, her eyebrows hunching (which, of course, looked like she was considering a royal beatdown to the other ponies at the table, who all promptly readied themselves for the mother of all tongue-whoopings). Finally satisfied with her thoughts, Luna took another sip from her coffee, now growing cold in the afternoon weather. “Say, you girls have experience with relationships, right?”

“Of course!” Rarity beamed, glad for the distraction from the tense atmosphere.

“Eh-hah!” Pinkie added, still trying to unravel her tongue and roll it up back into her mouth.

“Well…I think so…I mean, I’ve never been terribly good at making friends,” Fluttershy said with her trademarked shyness, her wings slumping downwards.

“We all have,” Twilight said, patting a reassuring hoof on the pegasus's shoulder. “And while I can’t say I have a whole lot of experience with friendship, I can say I have five of the best friends a mare could ever want!”

Luna nodded approvingly. “Actually, we…I’m sorry, I was thinking more along the lines of a…‘special somepony’, as I believe it is called these days.”

The table balked at that. Twilight gasped, promptly choking on a sip of her drink. “I…um…don’t think anypony here has much experience with that…sort of…relationship,” Rarity said awkwardly, patting her still-coughing friend on the back.

“You sure, Rares?” Pinkie asked brightly, having finally untangled her tongue. “I’ve been hearing things about you and that diamond dog that’s been coming around the boutique for…”

The unicorn promptly jammed a hoof into her friend’s mouth, glaring venom back at the pink mare. “Carnifax is a friend and a valued customer, but that is all, do you understand?” She asked through gritted teeth, her eyes blazing at the thought of the dog that had been visiting Ponyville more and more frequently for the fashionista’s services. If looks could kill, Pinkie would have been dead a dozen times over. As it was she just nodded, the bright smile still obvious in her eyes.

Rarity snorted and returned to her seat, guzzling down the rest of her appletini. When she saw the looks on the faces of everypony around her, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “I am a socially connected pony, darlings, I have heard the rumors. I’m just getting…fed-up with them, is all. Yes, Carnifax is a sweet dog, and a close friend, and a great helping paw around the Boutique every now and again, but…”

“But what?” Pinkie asked.

Rarity paused, seemed to think on that for a moment, then went for another sip of her drink, only to snort in annoyance when the bottom of an empty glass greeted her. “I need more drink,” she mumbled, before heading into the bar.

“But she thinks she needs more drink!?” Pinkie grumbled, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “What kinda answer is that!?”

“No Pinkie, she meant…” Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “Nevermind.”

An awkward silence descended over the table, only interrupted by the constant slurping noises from the Element of Laughter as she polished off her strawberry smoothie (with extra hot sauce, of course).

“You know what?” Twilight said quickly, pushing away from the table. “I think I’ll find out what’s taking Rainbow and Applejack so long.”

“TWILIGHT!” Pinkie gasped.

“Yes Pinkie, what is it now?” The lavender unicorn sighed, turning around as Rarity continued on into the bar.

Pinkie held a large, pink, wooden club covered in stickers and labeled “Partytime’s Over” out to her. “You might need this.”

“Um…” Twilight took the weapon up in her magic. “Thank you Pinkie, but why would I need…”

Before she could even finish her sentence, the bar’s door burst open and a stallion with a hoofmark indented across one of his eyes stumbled out, smashing through a table and destroying what had otherwise been a lovely dinner for a couple from Trottingham. “And that’s what happens to ponies who mess with the Elements of Harmony, you BRUTE!” Rarity shrieked from somewhere inside.

“Wooh! Go Rares!” Applejack’s voice chimed in, the sounds of breaking chairs, hooves smashing against faces, and shattering glass drifting out the door. As if to punctuate her statement, a stallion smashed his face against the plate-glass window, bouncing back with little tweety birds whistling around his head.

Twilight looked back to the others in absolute shock, eyes widening. She looked over as Pinkie Pie shoved her bat into her friend’s grip, merrily skipping back to her seat and urging her friend along with a wave of her hoof. Twilight sighed and mumbled a quick thanks before stepping into the bar, the bat still held tightly in her magic.

“Um, Princess?” Fluttershy asked. “Not to be rude or anything, but shouldn’t you do something?”

“That is a job for the Crystal Guard, I’m afraid,” Luna sighed, taking a frustrated sip from her drink. “The Crystal Empire may officially be a part of Equestria, but it’s been granted more autonomy than most other regions of the kingdom. We…I cannot intervene in any affairs of the Empire unless somepony’s life is in danger, or without the express permission of Prince Shining Armor or Princess Cadence.”

“Even if the Prince’s sister herself is in danger!?” Fluttershy gasped.

Just as she spoke, three more stallions sailed out the door and hit the sidewalk, their bodies covered in hoofmarks, bruises, and the tell-tale violet sparks of one of Twilight’s magical attacks. “Honestly, I’m more worried about anypony stupid enough to attack her,” Luna said, her eyebrows rising to meet up with her glowing hairline. “But I trust my sister’s protégé in employing proper restraint.”

“Gosh, that looks like fun,” Pinkie mused, her party cannon materializing at her side and giving a few growls.

“Don’t even think about it,” Luna said, her eyebrows retreating back down into a stern hunch. “At least one of Miss Sparkle’s friends needs to remain outside to bail them out when they’re all inevitably arrested.”

Pinkie glared at the bar’s entrance, but nodded slowly, stroking a hoof along the cannon’s barrel as it growled and snapped like a guard dog trying to break free of its master’s grip. Luna eyed the weapon curiously, but shrugged, knowing any question she might ask about the apparently-living cannon would be answered with something along the lines of “It’s Pinkie Pie.”

The trio remaining outside watched as a smallish unicorn stallion trotted right to the tavern’s doors and started to push them aside. “Ah, wait,” Fluttershy reached out a hoof.

The stallion cringed and turned to face her. A few beads of sweat collected on his forehead as he forced a smile onto his face. “Y-yes, miss?” He asked.

“You don’t really want to go in there, do you?” She asked timidly.

The stallion’s eyes widened, sweat literally drenching his forehead. “Wh-why wouldn’t I? I-it’s not like I’m up to anything or…”

“But you don’t wanna get pulled into that big fight going on inside, do you?”

“Wha-“ he started, turning back and actually taking a good look through the door. His jaw dropped at the sight of a purple unicorn physically picking somepony up and throwing him against a far wall while another mare launched into a spinning tornado kick that sent five thugs flying. “I-uh…wow. They’re even tougher than the Queen said.” He mumbled.

“What?” Fluttershy asked.

The wail of sirens from somewhere far off perked the pony’s ears up. “Nothing!” He said, grinning awkwardly with his hooves behind his back. “Nothing at all, miss! Just wondering if somepony’s called the Guard, is all!”

A few moments later, a full platoon of crystal ponies in armor came galloping around the corner, crowding into the narrow street like a biblical plague made entirely out of pony. “Jeez, look at them all!” Pinkie gasped, staring at the sea of bodies squeezing into the tiny road.

Celestia warned me they were overstaffed in the Crystal Guard, but this? Poor guys must have been just dying for something to do. Luna smiled and shook her head as she stood up out of her seat. “Girls, I believe it may be time for us to take our leave.”

“An excellent idea!” The unicorn stallion said suddenly, practically leaping away from the door, as if he expected the bar to explode behind him at any instant (and given Twilight’s track record, this might not have been an inaccurate assumption to make).

“I still think it sucks that we didn’t get to head in there like everypony else did,” Pinkie said despondently. Her cannon whimpered and nuzzled against her hoof until she took to stroking its muzzle reassuringly. “I know, boy, I know…we’ll get ‘em next time.”

“C’mon,” Luna said, shaking her head with a little smile as she led the trio of ponies to the barricade set up just outside the small dining area. “We best let the Guard do their jobs.”

The small group easily rounded the barricade and made its way into the mob of guards, where they were immediately grabbed and shoved roughly to the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. “Princess! Don’t worry! The Guard has the situation under control!” One of the guardsponies shouted.

“I’m not worried.” Luna replied flatly.

“Everything is under control!” The pony repeated in a loud and clear manner. Behind him, a group of crystal ponies leapt the makeshift barricade and crowded around the bar’s door, readying themselves to breach it and clear the interior as if the place was filled with heavily-armed terrorists, rather than drunken morons. “Just remain calm!”

“We are calm! You’re the one who’s yelling!” Luna shouted back, her voice edging dangerously close to “Royal Canterlot” levels. Usually, she prided herself in her ability to maintain self-control no matter the situation, but as it was, Fluttershy was hyperventilating into a paper bag and this idiot wasn’t helping.

“I repeat, you must…

“WE ARE CALM YOU BLITHERING…” Luna paused, collected herself, pulling off a few breathing exercises. Within moments, her calm and cool demeanor returned. She frowned down at the guard in that haughty, high-and-mighty way she had been trained to use from birth, rearing up to her full, impressive height. “Guard, we are calm. In fact you should see that I, as a Princess of Equestria, have all the capabilities required to maintain control of a civilian populace.”

The guard took a step back, his ears folding down beneath his helmet. “Perhaps, but…”

“This group here does qualify as a civilian populace, does it not?” She asked, pointing to the pair on the sidewalk with her.

“Of course, but…”

“Then are you questioning the abilities of a visiting Princess? A pony of true royal blood who was dispatched by the high courts of Canterlot itself and invited with open arms by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor themselves?” She asked, closing the distance between them just enough to absolutely tower over the now-terrified guard.

“N-no…” he whimpered.

She glared down at him. “Then don’t you think your talents would be put to better use elsewhere?”

“Ye-yes, Princess, right away,” the pony said, slinking back into the wall of guards with his tail between his legs.

“Wow, Princess!” Luna turned as Pinkie gazed up at her, eyes wide. Luna’s ears folded into her mane. Had she just ruined everything she’d worked so hard to build up with the rest of the Elements? “That was awesome!” Pinkie said, instantly allaying all of Luna’s fears.

“Th-you really think so?” Luna asked bashfully.

“Oh, yeah, even Fluttershy thinks so!” Pinkie patted a hoof on the little yellow pegasus's shoulder, who paused in her dry-heaving just long enough to nod.

“Well, it only makes sense that the old ways would still work in a city that has been displaced for the past millennium,” Luna said, chest thrusting out with pride over the small victory. “Or…wait…hold on, weren’t there three of you?”

“Um…” Pinkie pulled a quick headcount. “Hey, yeah! Where’d that stallion go?”

Luna frowned, immediately turning back towards the crowd of guards. “You there! Guard!” She barked, pointing to a random pony.

The stallion turned to her, looked side to side, then pointed a hoof at himself and mouthed, “Me?”

“Yes, you! There was a stallion with us! Powder-blue coat! Unicorn! Find ‘im!”

“Y-yes, ma’am!” The guard said, skittering away.

Pinkie watched as the guard immediately set to the task set before him, dashing off with the same sort of zeal as Rainbow Dash discovering Applejack was handing out free samples of cider. “Wow, Princess, it’s so nice that you care for your subjects so much that you’d send a bunch of guards to find them on a whim!”

“Perhaps,” Luna said, scrunching up her eyebrows as she watched the guardspony work. “However, there was something of an ulterior motive in our actions.”

“Hmm?”

“Did that pony not seem…skittish, to thee?” Luna asked, concern obvious on her face.

“Well Princess, no offense, but you are pretty intimidating!” Pinkie giggled.

“Yes,” Luna nodded. “Yes, perhaps that is it.” Luna was too distracted to feel any of the old pain at having intimidated yet another pony. Something nagged at the corner of her mind as she surveyed the crowd: that unicorn had been far too eager to get away once he’d heard the sound of the Royal Guard’s approach. And looking over her memory of the brief moment she’d seen him in front of that door, was that a green flash she’d seen? Or just the sun reflecting off one of the dozens of buildings towering above her? Her frown deepened. ’Twas probably nothing…but we’ll find out for sure soon enough.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The unicorn tip-hoofed along the alleyway between stores, avoiding puddles and bits of garbage, or anything that might make a noise that would give him away. He knew it was ridiculous to think anyone in the massive crowd he’d left a few blocks back could hear anything going on in this little back alley, but still, he wasn’t one of Chrysalis's top infiltrators for nothing.

Looking around, he let out a sigh of relief. Absolutely nopony around. He was scot-free. He tilted his head back and sniffed the air. He smiled: it smelt like victory. Well, mostly the overflowing dumpsters surrounding him, but victory was definitely in there too.

“You plant the spell?” A voice rumbled from behind a dumpster.

The unicorn grinned maliciously. “Switch, please. Did you honestly think I couldn’t handle this?”

“I dunno,” the larger stallion smirked, striding out in front of his partner. “You looked ready to wet yourself and high-tail it outta there when that pretty little pony pointed you out.”

“That ‘pretty little pony’ happens to be one of the Elements of Harmony,” Bait scowled. “AND she was sitting right next to the Princess of Night! A princess who, up until a few years ago, was a horrible monster capable of plunging the world into eternal darkness!”

“You’re a changeling!?” A tiny voice gasped, interrupting him.

Recognizing it as the Element of Kindness, Bait immediately ducked and covered his eyes with his hooves. “Take the big one, leave me alone!” He cried.

He opened his eyes again a few moments later to see Switch smirking down at him. “Gosh, you scare easy,” he said in Fluttershy’s soft, little voice.

“Oh, screw you too,” Bait grumbled, pushing himself back up to his hooves. “I swear, if it was you out there you would’ve wet yourself the moment she so much as glanced your way.”

“Doubtful,” Switch replied in his natural, hissing, layered voice. “Although you at least managed to keep you terror-piss in long enough to seal the spell, so kudos to you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” for the first time, Bait allowed a wicked grin to cross his face. “So, mission success?”

“Absolutely,” the evil grin proved infectious as it took over Switch’s features as well. “The Elements of Harmony are divided, and now…”

“…nothing will stop us,” Bait completed for him.

“Bait, do you know what I feel like?”

“I probably do, but oh, it’s just so cliché! A part of me would feel really corny!”

“Yeah, but what about the rest of you?”

Bait smiled. “The rest of me loves it way too much to ever NOT do it,” he waved out a hoof. “You go first, Switch. Yours is so much better than mine.”

Nodding, the larger changeling threw back his head and laughed, his throaty, hissing voice echoing along the vacant alleyway. Bait soon joined in, and the two cackled wildly, their wicked laughter booming off the walls and on throughout the streets. Once they’d calmed down some, they took a few breaths. “Bait my man, you’re getting better at the evil laugh,” Switch said.

“You too, Switch, you too.”

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“Twi! Yer right!”

The lavender unicorn reacted immediately, spinning and blasting a few stallions with her horn just in time to send them flying. “Thanks, AJ!”

“Don’t mention it, sugarcube,” the burnt-orange pony replied, ducking underneath a chair leg swinging wildly in a crystal stallion’s grip just in time to buck him in the gut. The stallion crumpled to the floor, clutching his sides and moaning. “Aw, walk it off, y’big wuss! M’brother bucked me in the chest when Ah was a filly, and Ah harvested two acres of trees right after!”

“Take that! And that, you brute!” Rarity screeched, blasting away wildly. Though her magical attacks weren’t nearly as strong or as focused as Twilight’s, she was shooting enough of them off to stun every stallion around her, leaving them open to a flurry of well-executed spinning hoof kicks. “I say, this is a bit of an overreaction for an argument over appletini prices, is it not?”

“Well, that’s how it started,” Dash replied, pulling her hoof out of some poor guy’s face and sweeping his legs out from under him. “Then the barkeep made a pass at me and…well…things kinda blew up from there.”

“I toldja, I never made a pass atcha!” A stallion wearing a smock, pinned to the floor by a butter knife, shouted.

“Then what wazzat winkin’ for, huh!?” She yelled accusingly.

“I have a nervous tic, you madmare!”

Dash blinked, peering over the counter at the pinned crystal stallion. “Oh shoot, really?”

He replied with a few involuntary clicks from the back of his throat and a twitching eye. “Yeah!”

“My bad,” she managed to say before yet another thug grabbed her in a headlock. Reacting immediately, Rainbow Dash elbowed him in the gut and grabbed him in a rolling knee bar, trapping his leg in a knee-shattering hold. Another pair of thugs advanced on her as she wrenched her opponent’s leg into complete submission, only for them to drop unconscious to the floor beneath a cloud of streamers and noisemakers.

“Of course it shoots streamers,” Twilight mumbled, shaking her head and smiling as Pinkie’s “Party Over” bat smoked in her grip. Shaking off the giggles, she turned a stern glare on her friend. “And Dash, are you really so hot-headed that all it takes is a guy hitting on you to send you flying completely off the handle?”

“Hey! He did it while we were haggling over prices! It was very suggestive,” she replied, ears folding back into her mane. It was a weak excuse and she knew it.

“Darling, you simply must learn to control your temper,” Rarity sighed, absentmindedly shooting another magical blast over her shoulder and taking out the pair of crystal stallions that had been sneaking up on her.

“I gotta agree with yer friend there, li’l lady,” the stallion in Dash’s grip shrugged, pounding her in the jaw with a hoof and using the distraction to pull his leg free. “I mean, from an outside point of view? Kinda makes you look like a hothead.”

“Hey, nopony asked you!” She barked, sliding back into a battle stance and setting her jaw back in place. “Besides, it was a misunder…”

“Attention, Doyle’s Tavern!” A voice bellowed from outside, magnified by some spell. “This is the Crystal Guard! Cease all hostile activities immediately and exit the building with your hooves in the air!”

A groan sounded throughout the room, partially from stallions in pain, partially from disappointment. “Aw man, leave it t’ Five-Oh to spoil the fun!” The stallion facing Dash sighed.

Rarity’s jaw dropped. “Fun!?”

“Gotta do somethin’ to pass the time around here,” another crystal stallion shrugged, nonchalantly popping his shoulder back into place. “Theatre Corps’ still a mess, and still not a whole lotta work goin’ around, so all that leaves is…”

“Drinkin’ and fightin’,” AJ finished with a tiny smile, lending a hoof up to one of the stallions. “My kinda town.”

“Dang, and it was a real good fight too,” another stallion sighed, a black hoofmark across his eye. “I mean, seriously, you girls are fantastic!”

“Thanks,” Dash said, suppressing a blush as the stallion trotted towards the door. “You guys weren’t half bad either.”

“Welp, time to face the music,” the stallion lifted a hoof and pressed against the door, only it didn’t budge. Frowning, he pressed both hooves against it and started pushing with all his might, still with no results.

“Stu man, just open it!” A gray-coated stallion from the back sneered.

“I’m tryin’!” The stallion yelled, now trying to pull on the handle. Still nothing.

“C’mon Stu, this ain’t funny!” The barkeep yelled angrily, having finally freed himself from the floor. “That’s the Crystal Guard outside! You know how club-happy those idiots get!”

“I’m trying! I’m seriously trying!” Stu’s teeth were clenched as he visible struggled with the handle, throwing his head back, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. “It’s stuck on somethin’!”

“Alright, alright, step aside!” AJ said annoyingly, brushing the stallion to the side and raising her hind hooves against the door. “Ah ain’t met a door yet what can resist a good ol’ Apple family buckin’!”

Rearing back, she delivered the most powerful kick she could muster, finally earning a small rattle from somewhere in the frame. The hit reverberated throughout the room and rumbled in everypony’s chest, yet still the door held firm.

“Ow, ow,” she limped off, massaging her calves. “Gah, Celestia above, what’s that thing made of, solid steel!?”

Twilight shook her head and frowned, scratching at her chin with a hoof. “No, it’s something else. Something’s wrong…”

“We repeat, all patrons are to exit the structure with their hooves in the air immediately! You have five minutes to comply!”

The ponies all watched nervously as a group of Crystal Guards approached the tavern in battle formation, probing the door experimentally. “Okay, this has gone on long enough,” Rarity said, trying to keep the anxious quiver out of her voice. “Twilight, would you be so kind as to give it a try?”

“Gladly,” the Element of Magic strode past the other ponies and glared at the stubborn exit. A look of determination crossed her face as she stared it down like a town sheriff facing off against a desperado out west. Charging up her horn, she easily unleashed a tiny spark of magic, hoping to just test the barricade’s strength. The little spark flitted into the wood and disappeared. Suddenly, a massive green bolt arced out of the door and cracked against her horn, sending the little unicorn flying across the tavern and crashing right through a table.

“Twilight!” Her friends screamed, pulling her free of the shattered wood and splinters. She gazed up at them woozily, eyes swiveling in their sockets.

“You okay, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, worry saturating her voice.

“I-I think so,” Twilight moaned, a hoof reaching up to her head. She winced at the touch. Something was very wrong.

“Don’t touch that!” One of the Crystal Stallions shouted, galloping to her side. Carefully, he tilted her head to the side for a better look at the horn, wincing at the smoldering scorch mark on its side. "Aw yeah, it's burnt up pretty bad. I’d give it a few minutes before tryin’ anything with that horn."

"Two minutes! You have two minutes to comply!" The crowd inside the bar could only watch as the guardsponies gathered in front of the tavern and readied a massive battering ram: the kind used for breaching castle gates.

"Dangit, how come stallions think they gotta use their biggest toys just 'cause they have 'em?" Applejack grumbled at the sight of the huge slab of wood being wheeled towards the door.

"More fun that way," the stallion next to her shrugged, holding a frosty mug of cider up to his black eye.

"This is your final warning! Exit the building now or face the consequences!”

"Alright, y'know what? Forget this," a stallion grumbled, knocking a few mugs to the floor and tossing one of the freshly-cleared tables over his shoulder. "Anypony wanna give me a hoof here?"

"Whaddya think yer doin'!?" The barkeep yelled as the first stallion was joined by a few others, plus Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

"If we don't do somethin', then the guards'll think we kept 'em out on purpose!" The stallion shouted. "You know these guys: they'll come in here, spears swingin' if we don't let 'em in!"

"Buh-but...my bar..." the barkeep whimpered, barely acknowledging Rarity as she ran a comforting hoof along his shoulder. He gazed at the door about to take a battering ram, and the plate-glass window about to meet one of his own tables.

"Alright boys, just try t'keep up!" Dash said, grinning with anticipation. "Now, on the count of ten! One..."

The stallions readied themselves, staring straight ahead, their makeshift battering ram held firm in their hooves.

"Two..."

A few stallions held their breaths. Applejack tilted her hat low.

"TEN!" Rainbow barked, springing forward. Barely maintaining their balance, the other ponies rushed alongside, the surprise pushing their legs faster than any of them would have thought possible otherwise. The heavy, oaken legs of their ram connected with the glass, and immediately bounced right off, as if they'd just hit solid steel. The entire group was knocked right off their hooves and wound up on their backsides, the table splintered in half, the window still completely unscratched.

"Wow-anypony catch the number on that wagon what just hit me?" Dash groaned, picking herself up and shaking the spots out of her eyes.

"Dear Celestia," one stallion murmured, prompting a letter-writing flashback from Twilight. The stallion pressed a hoof against the glass. "It's like iron!"

"Something's wrong," Twilight said worriedly. "Something's very wrong here."

"Ehuh..." one of the crystal ponies ran up to the glass and raised a hoof to it. "Stu want out!" He gasped, smashing his hoof against the window. Not even a scratch. One of his eyes twitched.

"Stu! Want! OUT!" He repeated, panic setting in his voice.

"Hold it," Twilight said, grabbing his hoof before he could do any damage to himself. "That obviously isn't going to work, and panicking won't get us anywhere. We need to approach this calmly and rationally, or we might as well just be a bunch of rabid mules!"

"I, for one, would like to cast my vote in favor of the 'rabid mules' option," the stallion Dash had been fighting when this whole mess had started said, his hoof raised.

"I'll second!" The cyan pegasus added cheerfully.

"It's not an option!" Twilight barked, rubbing her hooves against her temples. "Look, whatever this is, it's obviously magical in nature, and very powerful magic at that." She pointed to her burnt horn, wincing as her hoof barely touched against it. "Until we can figure out who or what put this spell in place, we should stay in here and wait for the Guards outside to piece things together!"

The crystal stallions all stared wide-eyed at her. "Depend on the Crystal Guard to figure things out?" The barkeep snickered. "Yeah, good luck with that."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say the Guard's specialty lies more in the 'beating up drunks and collecting parking fines' department. Figuring stuff out, though..."

Author's Notes:

I'm hoping to get the next chapter up sometime within the next couple weeks, stay tuned!

Chapter X: Luna v. Chrysalis

Princess Luna glared as the Guardsponies reared back for another hit against the Tavern’s entrance. “Come on! What’s taking so long!?” Their captain bellowed as the massive ram smashed uselessly against the door. She frowned, watching the group slam against the door over and over again, with all the effectiveness of a spitball against a fully-armed battleship. She frowned. How in Equestria could a group of fully-grown, trained soldiers carrying the best gate-crashing equipment available not bust through some dingy little tavern's door? She had to investigate.

"Stay here," she whispered to the pair sitting next to her.

"O-okay," Fluttershy whispered, taking one look at the wall of soldiers between her and the café and cowering back.

"Aww, but Princess!" Pinkie started indignantly. "How are we supposed to have any fun just waiting for..."

A single glare silenced her, Pinkie's lips sealing all by themselves. Still got it, Luna smiled as she unfurled her wings and soared right over the guards' heads, landing with the trademarked grace practically all Canterlot royals possessed, her hooves hitting the ground with a pair of nearly-inaudible taps.

"Put some back into it!" A somewhat important-looking guard in well-polished armor shouted. Figuring he must have been someone in charge, she strode right up to him, chest out, back straight, shoulders back in the most intimidating stance outside the walls of Canterlot. She positively towered over the other ponies: just like she needed.

"Guard! What is going on here!?" She barked, her voice at half "Royal Canterlot" levels.

"Wha-oh! Princess!" The stallion gasped, hurriedly saluting. "You shouldn't be..."

"We are visiting royalty, and we shall go where we please!" The Princess glared, cranking it up to 60% RCV. "Unless thou hast a problem with the rights of those divinely chosen as royalty?"

That did it: a bit of ye olde Equestrian and a couple of ancient ideas she knew the Crystal Ponies hadn't outgrown like the rest of Equestria, and he was like butter in her hooves. "Nuh-no, I never said that..." he trailed off, head bowed, ears folded back.

Luna allowed the smallest little smile to play at the corners of her lips, much like the look a hawk got after spotting a field mouse. The guard pasted a nervous little smile on his face in return. "Very good," she said. "Now, we were merely wondering about thy attempts to rend yon portal asunder."

His shoulders slumped, one hoof reaching over to rub nervously against the other. "Wuh-well, we were just having trouble getting through. The enemy has themselves barricaded really well, and..."

"Thou regards anypony that gets into a drunken brawl as an enemy of the state?” Luna asked, an eyebrow rising. “Heavens above, I pity thy loiterers!"

"Th-they ARE breaking the law..." he replied weakly, like a foal realizing he didn't really have an excuse for forgetting to walk the dog as his parents stared him down.

Snorting, Luna turned to the ponies on the ram and extended a hoof, cranking her voice to full Canterlot Royalty volume. "HALT!"

The ponies obeyed immediately, dropping the massive hunk of military equipment and looking around fearfully, some half-expecting Sombra to appear before them. "Princess!" One near the front with epaulets on his shoulders gasped. "What are you..."

"This is not working," she replied curtly, marching up to the tavern's front. "It obviously requires a more intelligent approach."

With the Commander tailing her worriedly (and trying very hard not to stare at her toned flank), Luna peered through one of the plate-glass windows built into the tavern’s façade. She spied a few beaten and bruised crystal stallions, along with four familiar mares all gathered together. She tapped on the glass, and immediately Twilight looked up and grinned. Princess, she mouthed, the sound completely blocked by the glass. The little unicorn galloped up with the enthusiasm of a small filly in her sister’s court and put a hoof to the window, and Luna smiled and placed hers right over it, the pair smiling at each other not as ruler and subject, but as friends.

“What’s going on?” The Commander asked, watching the scene incredulously.

“We are working on it, guard, give us the courtesy of a minute,” Luna replied, her eyes never leaving Twilight’s. The little unicorn’s mouth started running frantically, everything she wanted to say obviously spilling out all at once. The Princess held a hoof up to her lips to silence her, then pointed to an ear and shook her head. Twilight stopped and frowned, then clopped a hoof against the glass. She repeated the motion, but harder, as the Princess arched an eyebrow. Twilight motioned desperately to her hoof until Luna gave hitting the glass a try, and nearly fell off her hind hooves when it bounced right back, as if she had just punched a guard’s breastplate, not a cheap sheet of glass.

Looking the glass over, the Princess frowned. “This building has been enchanted. Nopony can get in, and likewise, nopony can get out.”

“What?” The guard asked, eyebrows disappearing up into his helmet.

“Stand back, guard,” Luna replied, rearing back as her horn glowed. “Let us see how a simple enchantment stands against the might of an Alicorn!”

The guard dove for cover as Luna’s wings flared out behind her body, the air swirling around her. She opened her eyes to direct the spell’s force, but just as she felt ready to unleash it, she caught sight of Twilight frantically waving her hooves and mouthing “no, no!” over and over again. Luna doused her horn and fell back on all fours again, cocking an eyebrow at the unicorn. Didn’t she want out? Wasn’t that the whole point of this excursion? But then she noticed the way she kept frantically pointing at her horn and holding it up to the glass, as if there was something on it Luna was meant to see. Curious, the Alicorn stepped up to the window as Twilight held her horn closer to it, giving the Princess the best look she could of the ugly scorch mark burnt into its side. Luna gasped at the sight, immediately turning to the Commander.

“Guard, have your ponies stay back; whoever placed the enchantment on this building also placed some sort of trap for anyone attempting to use magic on it,” she barked.

“Of course, Princess,” the Commander reported, immediately holding up his hooves and waving the other crystal ponies back.

Nodding, Luna leaned in to the magically sealed door, prodding it gently with her horn. Twilight’s eyes widened and she shook her head furiously, but Luna just nodded reassuringly as the tip of her horn tapped the wood. Taking a deep breath, she started to focus.

“Ah, Princess, should you…” the Commander started.

“Fear not, my little crystal pony,” Luna replied, grimacing with focus. “We merely need a small taste of what we are up against.” As her concentration grew, she was suddenly grateful she’d left Pinkie behind on the sidewalk: Heaven knows that little pink mare would probably be trying to blast the building with every single party-related weapon imaginable if she were anywhere nearby.

The guard bit his cheek, but knew better than to try and argue. He merely watched as she took a few calming breaths and focused on the energy flowing out of her horn. After a while, the horn dulled, its light-teal color giving way to a dark navy as Luna purposefully drew as much energy away from it as possible. She focused on turning it into nothing: her horn was no longer the center of her magic, but now a mere inanimate object that happened to be attached to her head, like a regular pony’s mane. It’s just a dead thing…it’s not part of you… she repeated as she slowly advanced on the door and plunged the tip of her horn into the tiny magical aura humming just over its surface.

Just a dead thing…it’s not part of you…just an object… she repeated, her concentration nearly failing at the sense of relief that washed over her after she successfully touched the door without it lighting off another magical attack. She breathed in, and out. Breathed in, and out. Focus… placed as she was, she could finally get a reading on just what this magic was, and immediately a cold feeling washed over her. Shivers lit up and down her spine as a hard knot twisted in her stomach.

“Fear!” She gasped aloud, pulling back and allowing her magic to surge back into her horn. “It’s fear!”

“Um…what?” The Captain asked, but the Princess had already taken off towards the crowd of Guardsponies at a dead gallop. She nearly ran right into the crowd before grabbing a stallion and pulling him up to her face.

“There was a yellow stallion with me earlier,” she said curtly, not even bothering with such niceties as allowing the stallion to gather all his marbles up again.

“Uh…” the guard replied.

“I’ve already dispatched another one of you to look for him, but I want more to join in the search.”

“I can…”

“Why are you still standing here!? Get to it!” She barked, and the stallion took off in a cloud of dust before he even had a clue what his hooves were doing.

The Commander jogged up to the Princess's side, head spinning. “Princess, I’m sorry, but why is a search for some random stallion so important? And what did you mean by ‘fear’?”

“We believe that stallion was a changeling infiltrator,” Luna replied flatly, her eyes scouring the platoon before her for anything that looked even slightly out of place. “He might be the one who placed the spell on the tavern.”

"A...what?"

"Right...the wedding was before the Empire's reemergence," she muttered, turning to the guard in exasperation. "A changeling is an insect-like pony capable of taking the form of anypony they wish. Instead of food, they feed upon the loving energy of normal ponies, usually by taking a pony's place and leeching off the emotions of their loved ones."

"They...feed on emotions?" The Captain asked skeptically.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Just...trust us on this, okay? This is what I meant by 'fear': changeling magic is fueled by emotional energy, and the spell over yonder tavern is just such an enchantment. Powered by fear, to be specific."

"So, this stallion is one of these 'changelings'? And he made the spell trapping those ponies?"

"Yes and no," she replied, eyes still scanning the mob of faces around her, forehooves propped up on a table for a better look. "He might be the changeling who laid the spell in place, but there's only one changeling in existence with the skill and power necessary to craft something so potent: only one changeling capable of harnessing that much power from fear itself without being overwhelmed..."

She trailed off as the sound of clapping hooves floated up from the crowd. All eyes turned to a rather large, beefy stallion near the front, clad in golden armor, his hooves clapping together slowly and mockingly. The Princess glowered as the stallion stepped forward, still clapping, a horrid grin on "his" face. "Well done, Princess, very smart. I can see there's more to you than just a pretty face and sexy wingspan,” the stallion said in a gravelly voice. Yet, there was something else to the voice, a hidden layer just beneath everypony’s hearing, enough for one to detect but not to place.

"What do you think you're doing!? Get back in rank before I have you tossed in the brig!" The Commander bellowed.

The grin turning into a sneer, and the stallion levelled a cold, steely glare on the smaller Captain. Suddenly, a large, hole-filled horn materialized in the middle of the creature’s forehead and unleashed a bolt of fluorescent green magic. Luna just narrowly managed to knock the oblivious stallion out of the way in time, diving against him and arching her back to allow the bolt sail by just a few inches under her form, singing a few feathers on her wings. Tumbling off her shoulder like a gymnast, she bolted to her hooves and glowered, teeth clenched, horn glowing. The "stallion" grinned, a set of razor-sharp teeth where flat, pony teeth should have been.

"Nice reactions, Princess," they hissed in a strange, multi-layered voice. The soldiers around them gasped as the phony pony disappeared in a flash of green flames, revealing a tall, black, slender creature in his place, her long, sharp fangs and emerald, cat-like eyes gleaming in the midday sun.

"Chrysalis!" Luna bellowed in full, Royal Canterlot voice. "Thou dare bewray thyself in Equestria again!?"

"Well, technically, we are in a semi-autonomous region," the queen of the changelings cackled, running a hoof through a few strands of mossy, green hair. "Though it is good you know me, Princess. Nice to see my reputation precedes me."

"The only thing that precedes you is the tale of your failure in Canterlot! Thou must be a fool to show thy true form in a city ruled by the very pair that defeated thee!"

"Ah yes, Cadence and Shining Armor," the Queen grinned, a hoof scratching at her chin. "About them..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“More loan requests from the southern districts, sire.”

“Nnngh,” Shining Armor moaned as yet another stack of papers landed amidst the humongous collection already on his desk. His head landed atop a stack with a deep thud, sending a few bill orders and a couple public works approval forms tumbling to the floor. So this is why Celestia puts up with all those Canterlot nobles… he moaned. Egotistical and dry as they might be, the nobility in Canterlot at least knew how to keep a modern kingdom functioning!

“Sire? Are you alright?” The dark purple crystal pony standing in front of his desk asked worriedly. “If you want, I’m certain I can take a good share of the load off you.”

“No, Inkquill, that’s quite alright,” Shining replied, trying to lift his tired head up, but only managing to turn his face to the side so at least his voice wasn’t muffled. “You just get back to your studies and let your prince handle the heavy lifting, okay?”

The pony nodded as Shining forced a smile onto his face. Inkquill was everything one could want in a bureaucrat: hardworking, enthusiastic, devoted, caring, what more would you need? If only he’d been born a thousand years later, he would have made a fine worker for the maze of triplicated and collated forms that was modern bureaucracy. As it was, the last time Shining had let the guy work unsupervised, he approved several exorcisms and a formal prayer to bolster a bridge that had been damaged in Sombra’s siege. Patience, Shining, he can’t help being a millennium out-of-date. Just let him finish his studies and you should have a fine worker in no time.

“So, how are your studies going?” The newly-crowned Prince asked. “Catching up to modern Equestria?”

“Oh wonderfully, sire!” The crystal pony replied with all the enthusiasm of a kindergartner that just learned something they were dying to let you know. “Did you know that bloodletting actually detracts from a patient’s health during illness?”

Shining Armor’s right eye twitched. “Fascinating.”

“I know, right? Who could have thought such a basic medical procedure could be so wrong!?”

Not you, apparently. “Why don’t you get back to your books, eh? I’ve kept you from them long enough.”

“Of course, sire,” the pony trotted away, his step so light and endlessly cheerful that it made a part of Shining Armor want to vault the desk and just start punching him until something shattered. Instead, he sighed and let his head thump against the desk again. He knew that was just the stress of the day’s work talking. Inkquill was going to make a fine worker someday. Thing is, that day was still far off, and right now the Shaman’s guild was threatening to strike, the economy was running on government loans and subsidies from Canterlot’s coffers, the water system was backing up from every attempt to integrate it with more modern machinery, and half his citizens still thought the greatest heights of medical technology involved leeches.

And to think: he’d actually thought things would get easier once Sombra had been defeated, but this…ANYTHING was better than this! Give him Discord! Give him Nightmare Moon! Heck, give him a changeling invasion! But if he had to stamp his name on another form of approval one more time…

“Ugh, Twilight, why did you have to entertain the Princess!” He lamented. If his sister were here, she’d have these forms filled out, filed away, and laminated by now. He groaned and turned his head to lift his snout out of “A Formal Request from the Pony Oaks Daycare center to participate in the Summer Sun celebrations’ parade (must be filled out in triplicate to be validated)”.

Slowly, he lifted himself up. The fact of the matter was, Twilight wasn’t here. The Princess had arrived in the Empire and she needed Twilight to serve as her guide, just like the Empire needed these forms signed, collated and delivered now! So he was gonna soldier up, pick up his pen, and knock dis work outta da park like the prince he was meant to be! Like the prince he needed to be! Like a BAWSS!

Right after a quick nap, of course.

“Aww, is somepony tired?” Shining smiled as the light, melodic tone of his wife’s voice filled his ears. Grinning tiredly, he watched as a pink hoof set a streaming mug on the desk next to his head, right in between a couple stacks of papers that had hardly shrunk since that morning. Smiling down at him, the princess parked her flank on the desk right next to the mug.

“Cady, you are a sight for sore eyes,” he smiled, picking up the mug in his magic and lifting it to his lips.

“I just wanted to check up on my beloved husband,” she cooed, smiling as he set the mug back on the desk.

“Mmmh,” his throat rumbled with enjoyment. “That stuff takes me back. Remember our first date? In Canterlot Gardens?”

“Ah, yes,” she sighed wistfully, curling up in his hoof as he offered it to her. “The gardens…the moon…the romance?”

“Yeah,” the smile faded from his face. His grip on the mug tightened. “Too bad we were dating in secret at the time, which would’ve made Canterlot Gardens a pretty lousy destination.”

The eyes of the princess flashed green. “Oh, shi-“

Immediately, Shining shattered the mug against the impostor’s face, spraying the liquid all over their body. The fake Cadence tore out of his grip and flailed wildly, blindly trying to strike with anything they could get their hooves on, but the former guard captain easily slammed his body against them and pinned the impostor to the desk. “You think I don’t know what Nightroot tranquilizers smell like!?” He bellowed. “I was the Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard!”

“Yeah, and you did a bang-up job during our invasion, too,” the creature in his grasp hissed, squirming and baring its fangs.

Sneering, Shining silenced the impostor with a punch to the jaw, following up by placing his hoof against their throat. “Where is she?” He growled.

“I’ll never-GACK!” The changeling choked as Shining put just a bit more weight behind his hoof. “Okay! Okay! She’s in the coat closet! Just outside!”

“Smart move,” he replied coldly, keeping the changeling pinned under his weight while his free hoof popped open a desk drawer and fished out a pair of iron manacles. “Now, if you’ll please hold still…”

“You seriously think I’m gonna-ACK!” The changeling gagged again as Shining pressed a hoof right into their Adam’s apple, then nonchalantly locked one of the cuffs around a forehoof as it flashed back into black chitin. Shining promptly shoved his prisoner to the ground and wrapped the manacle’s chain around a desk leg, slipping the remaining cuff around her (his?) free forehoof.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” he spat as he galloped towards the door.

“Buck off,” the changeling wheezed, rearing up as far as the cuffs would allow them. To Shining’s surprise (and mild horror), a changeling stallion stood where the impostor had, leaving the Prince to shiver at the thought of the make-out session he’d had planned before smelling the Nightroot in the mug. “You’re too late! We’re already in the city!”

“Not for long,” Shining muttered, closing the door behind him to block any ranting from his prisoner. Cadence didn’t have to hear that, especially now that she’d been captured again! Oh but this time, this time, he was gonna be there for her, and heaven help anyone stupid enough to get in his way.

Jogging right past Inkquill, lying unconscious on the floor next to the receptionist’s desk, Shining Armor dashed to the coat closet and nearly tore the door off its hinges. He peered into the darkness, nearly crying out with relief on finding a trembling pink form atop a pile of laundry bags. “Cady!” He gasped, throwing himself inside and pulling the Alicorn close, her tear-soaked face wetting the fur on his neck as he set to work freeing her of the green goop binding her hooves and muzzle.

“Shining, it’s them!” She gasped once her mouth was free. “The changelings are back!”

“I know, love, I know,” he shushed her, kissing her tenderly as he peeled some of the gunk off her hooves. It never even occurred to him how odd it was that her horn wasn’t bound. He was so relieved to have her in his hooves again that he never thought to question why she hadn’t tried to free herself if her horn was free: or at least tried to bang something around for attention. As it was, he just smiled reassuringly and held her close. “I’ve got one of them chained up in my office. You think you can pull off that love spell we used at the wedding?”

Wiping away a few tears, she nodded and sniffled. “I-I think so.”

“Okay,” he closed his eyes and touched his horn to hers, willing himself to relax and allow his love to flow from his heart, becoming a force welling up within his body, ready to burst out and send the bug-butts flying. “On the count of three, alright?”

“Okay,” she said, smirking as she wrapped her hooves around his body.

“One…”

“THREE!” She barked, a green bolt of energy blasting from her horn and knocking the unicorn back. Shining Armor flew against the closet’s wall and bounced, landing on the floor with a deep thud. The air knocked out of him, his head reeling with the shock, he looked up at the pink creature standing before him.

“C-Cady?” He moaned, trying to push himself up to his hooves, only to be shoved down again by a hue of green magic.

“Do you know the time when your enemy’s guard is at its lowest?” The creature asked, eyes glowing green as “she” bent down to the fallen prince, her fangs bared in a cocky sneer. Shining moaned as he was picked up in the creature’s magic and hoisted up like a helpless filly.

“It’s just when they think they’re about to win,” the changeling whispered before finishing him off with a final, green-lit blast from its horn, cackling as his mind disappeared beneath the power of its spell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The changeling in Shining Armor’s office perked up at the sound of approaching hoofsteps, ears folding back as he tried to hide behind the desk, rattling the chains around his hooves. His fears instantly fell once another changeling strode in with the alabaster unicorn in tow, a big, blank gaze on his face and a green hue glowing in his eyes.

“Crashy!” The chained changeling gasped.

“Burny!” The other changeling dropped his disguise and galloped to the chained changeling’s side, nuzzling him warmly. “He said he’d captured a changeling; I was so worried about you!”

“Aheh-yeah,” Burn snickered, the chains clinking as he shifted to accommodate the newcomer. “Ran into a bit of trouble with this one.”

“No kidding?” Crash snickered, batting his partner with a hoof. “I toldja not to go with that generic sleeping potion! Royal Guards are trained to detect that stuff!”

“I thought since he was a pencil-pushing former Captain, he’d be all fat and dumb and stuff!” The chained-ling replied defensively. “Not, y’know…”

“Handsome and smart?” Crash interrupted, deadpanning.

Burn's tattered ears folded back. “I didn’t say that…”

Crash glared at him for a second, then his eyes lit up and he swatted playfully at the other changeling’s chest. “I know you didn’t! I’m teasing, you stupid fag!” He laughed, leaning in for a quick kiss. “Besides, I had to kiss the guy, and after that I know I have nothing to worry about.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Oh, hun, I have no idea how he snagged a princess, but it wasn’t with his lips,” Crash smiled, leaning in closer to his lover. “Like smooching a dead fish. I think I need a reminder of what a good kiss feels like.”

“Kinky,” Burn remarked, eyeing his chains. Crash leant him against the desk, lips slowly working down the side of his special someling’s face and along his neck. Burn turned to accommodate his love’s fangs, and his eyes bugged out at the shimmering green hue staring blankly back at him. “Uh…”

“What?” His partner followed his gaze to the unicorn standing ramrod straight in the corner. He grinned mischievously and turned back. “Oh c’mon, Burny, you’ve never had someone watch?”

“Very kinky,” Crash laughed as they leaned into one another’s lips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna glowered and assumed her combat stance, head bowed, horn glowing. The Changeling Queen smirked and leaned back against one of the outdoor tables, forelegs crossed nonchalantly across her chest, even as a mob of Crystal Guard enclosed her in a circle of pointed spears. "What hast thou done with our cater-cousins!?"

"Oh, no need to worry, they're safe," the Queen cackled. "For now."

"Y-you might as well give up now!" The Guard Captain screamed, having recovered from the Queen's attack and now fumbling to keep a spear in his hooves. "The Crystal Guard will stop you!"

Chrysalis's face lit up as Luna face-hoofed. The Captain arched an eyebrow at her. "What? What did I say?"

"Wherefore wouldst thou give her that opening? Wherefore?" Luna sighed, massaging her temple with a hoof.

"What? What opening?"

"Pardon me for using an old cliché," Chrysalis snickered, spreading her hooves out wide while a sinister sneer spread across her face. "But how are you going to stop us when we’re already here!?"

In an instant, a set of green bursts of flames erupted all throughout the crowd, little black bodies appearing to replace the shimmering, crystalline forms. The black bodies of an entire army of changelings, still wearing Crystal Guards' armor, had the remaining crystal ponies as well as the Princess utterly surrounded. The Queen snickered and stood reared up while her army rose into the air, bearing down on the remaining guardsponies. Somewhere in the mob, with the fearful gasps of the guards filling the air around them, Fluttershy and Pinkie wrapped their hooves around one another in fear.

"That opening." Luna replied, a hoof still massaging her temple.

"Attack, my swarm! Seize what your queen has granted you!” Chrysalis bellowed. Instantly, the buzz of a thousand wings drowned out the surprised cries of the ponies as the changelings descended upon them, like a pack of lions attacking a zebra herd. Angered hisses and the emerald green of changeling attack spells filled the air. Most of the crystal ponies were caught almost immediately, swiftly pasted to the ground with changeling magic and forced to watch as their comrades fell by their side.

Chrysalis smiled across the square at the Princess as the battle raged all around them. The Crystal Captain at Luna's side still clenched his spear, still shaking, but she raised a hoof against his chest to stop him. "We-I am the only one capable of taking on yonder wretch," Luna explained, gesturing towards the Changeling Queen. "See to your fellow guardsponies."

Biting his lip, the commander nodded and turned at a squad of changelings approaching from the right, horns charged with that sickly green glow. He leapt against them with a defiant battlecry, weapon flashing in the daylight. Luna glowered at her opponent, who merely smiled easily and stood away from the table, cracking her neck.

"Face it, Princess," the Queen hissed. "You've already lost."

"Not while there is love in our hearts and hope in our souls!" Luna barked, letting loose with a blue blast of electricity. Feigning a yawn, Chrysalis deflected the attack with a simple shield and replied with a blast that sent Luna flying into the air, slamming her through an upper-floor window.

Luna blinked, trying to focus through the pain ripping through her body. Wincing, she pulled a shard of glass from her wing and stretched it out. It stung, but not enough to keep her from flying. At least we managed to keep from crying out at the blow, she sighed as she sat up. Now that would have been simply embarrassing.

By the time she sat up fully, the Changeling Queen was already waiting for her, hovering just outside the window, the little smile still on her face. "Hmm, and here I thought you'd have more fight in you than your sister," she sighed mockingly. "Oh well, life's full of little disappointments, isn't it?"

"Speak not of our sister that way!" Luna screeched, anger blinding her judgment as she leapt at the Queen. Still smiling, Chrysalis dodged and followed up with a spinning hoof kick to the back of the Princess's head. Letting out a startled shriek, Luna twirled around and managed to catch the changeling in the jaw with a roundhouse punch, only to immediately take a knee to the stomach, knocking the air right out of her lungs.

Her anger burning off, Luna backed away, switching tactics with her rediscovered clarity. She charged again, but this time when Chrysalis dodged, the Alicorn pulled off a mid-air stall, halting right in front of the changeling for a split-second, which she used to unleash a massive blast of her magic. Chrysalis was stunned for just a moment, her ears ringing from the explosion of magic, but it was enough for Luna to leap at her with a flurry of kicks and punches.

Eventually, Chrysalis managed to duck away, taking off a bit higher into the sky with a flap of her insect-like wings. She wiped a bit of turquoise blood from her mouth. “Impressive. I guess I misjudged you, Princess,” her multi-layered voice hissed.

“You have misjudged many things in coming here, monster,” Luna growled, charging the Queen once again. Chrysalis's expression shifted from that confident, mocking smile to a dark glower in the split second it took Luna to close the distance between them. Dropping out of the way, she hit the ground and shoved off, blasting into the sky just a few feet behind the Princess. Her eyes glowing with power, Luna unleashed a flurry of blasts from her horn, only for Chrysalis to shrug them off like annoying flies.

The Queen bore down on the Princess, and Luna felt a knot twist in her stomach at the look of rage in those emerald eyes. "Monster, eh?" The changeling hissed, swooping close. "Always a monster, always a thing to be destroyed! To be fought!"

"What're you..." Luna started, forgetting her Royal Canterlot tone before a chitin-covered hoof smacked against her jaw. Reeling from the blow, she tried to reorient herself in the air, tried to gain some sort of upper-hoofing on her opponent, but it was all useless. Chrysalis already had the advantage, and in her rage, she had no intention of letting it go.

"A monster! A vile, wretched thing!" The changeling hissed, punctuating each sentence with a punch to Luna's face. Spittle nearly flying out of her mouth as she snarled with each punch, she didn’t even notice as her hoof with numb from the sheer force of the blows. "Nothing more than a thoughtless, evil creature that must be destroyed, right? Right!? Isn’t that right, Princess!?"

Each new blow drew a fresh bit of blood, but the changeling seemed unaware of it, the anger burning through her entire body. Howling with rage, Chrysalis reared up and slammed her hooves against Luna's chest, sending her crashing into the ground, throwing up a few tons of dirt from impact. The changelings and ponies on the ground stopped fighting to gaze upon the display of power in awe, Chrysalis still hovering high over the crater, her shoulders rising and falling with every breath. Luna just laid there, the dust settling around the crater she'd just created, her wings splayed out under her body and blood oozing from her nose while her breath came in shallow, pain-filled gasps.

Chrysalis took one look at the sight and balked, immediately swooping upon Luna and giving her a quick once-over, followed by what little she knew about battlefield triage. Pulse is stable, breathing steady, good... she sighed with relief, a hoof pressed to Luna's throat to feel a pulse. Heavens above, she hadn't meant to lose it like that! She was just supposed to disable the Princess, not beat her to within an inch of her life!

"Oh dear sweet Celestia, she's gonna kill her!" A crystal stallion gasped from somewhere along the crater's edge, bringing the Changeling Queen back to reality. Scowling, Chrysalis allowed the rage to flood her body again, but this time it was controlled, tempered.

Of course that's what I'm doing, she grumbled, allowing the rage to run itself dry in a long, controlled burn within her chest. That's what we monsters do, right?

Still scowling, Crysalis set to work securing Luna, binding her hooves and muzzle in a mass of goo emanating from the holes in her horn, applying an extra-large mass to the Alicorn's horn. Finally, she lifted her bound prize before her, encasing Luna with the green shimmer of her magic, making sure to move her slowly and carefully to avoid exasperating any injuries. She held the bound princess up, presenting her like a hunter’s trophy. The mood in the crowd immediately sank through the basement, one didn’t need to be an emotion-sensing creature to feel that.

"Crystal Empire, behold; your greatest powers, bought low!" She shouted. "If an Alicorn couldn't stand against the swarm, what chance have you!?"

She glowered, still managing to lay the Princess down gently while standing at her full height. “Surrender now, and perhaps you and your loved ones will live to serve us.”

There was a moment of silence from the crowd, some ponies shifting uneasily from leg to leg and peering at the changelings surrounding them. The changelings among them hissed in return. Eventually, the Crystal Guard’s captain strode up to the edge of the crater. All eyes focused on him, changeling and pony alike.

The Captain sighed and pulled off his helmet, looking it over before setting it on the ground by his hooves. He ran a hoof through his sweat-drenched mane, took a few deep breaths, and glared into the crater, at the black menace who had Luna at her mercy. His eyes narrowed. The changelings all hissed at him in rage.

“As a Captain of the Crystal Guard, and the senior ranking officer in this region of the Crystal Empire, I have an important instruction for every pony under either my command or my protection,” he announced, his voice booming throughout the square, echoing in the ears of every single being gathered in front of the little tavern. His gaze turned to the crowd around him, surveying each and every single set of eyes as the crowd held its collective breath, waiting for his words. What would they bring? War? An order for submission?

Suddenly, he wheeled around and took off, nearly tripping over his own hooves as he burst off as fast as his legs could carry him. “RUN!” He barked.

Instantly, the guards dropped their spears and armor and took off alongside the civilians in a mad, panicked dash for any sort of hiding spot. The cries of the civilians rang through the air as the changelings shook off the shock of so many ponies running in so many directions at once and gave chase.

Chrysalis arched an eyebrow at the sight. “Huh. A part of me was hoping that would end somewhat differently,” she mumbled. Oh well. Disappointments. Such was life. Bla-de-bla-de-bla.

She hardly even noticed when one of her high generals landed behind her, his rank distinguished by his silken, black cape, held onto his back by the silver, moth-shaped clasp around his throat. “You gotta love it when they run, right, your majesty?” He asked.

“Hmm?” Her eyes rolled down to the decently-sized (but still smaller than her) changeling. “Ah, yes General Chickit, the chase is always the best part.” She replied absentmindedly. The high-general couldn’t help but scowl again. Ever since the loss of her Mother, Chrysalis had always shown weakness. Sometimes, he’d catch her daydreaming in the middle of the weekly meeting with her advisors and top military commanders, with this pathetic look of yearning in her eyes.

Should’ve figured: love makes one weak. Love tenderizes the heart. He mused. Even with all her power, the Queen still couldn’t get that loss out of her mind! Her Mother still weighed on her like an anchor around her neck! Well, her loss was his gain. He could see the consequences of love with his very eyes: first in the weakness of the ponies, now in the weakness of his own Queen.

“If it pleases you, my Queen, I wish to join our forces in the hunt,” he said with an embellished bow.

“Yes, yes, go ahead,” she said, waving him off and completely missing the mocking tone in his voice. With another bow, the general launched into the air, his sights already set on a nice-looking family of pegasi tourists. Fangs bared with glee, he descended upon them and quickly bound the frightened ponies, relishing in the cries of the parents and the tears of the foals.

Finally, Chrysalis stood up to her full height, her wings unfurling and buzzing in the air. Nudging the Princess to ensure that, yes, she was still as unconscious as she was five minutes ago, the Queen joined her swarm in the skies. “If it’s a monster Equestria wants…” she mumbled, a wicked, fang-filled smile spreading across her face as she joined in the hunt.

Author's Notes:

Well...that's one way to start up a romance...

Chapter XI: The Empire Falls

The moment the call to swarm was given, Switch and his partner had taken to the air with the precision and enthusiasm that could only be summoned by one thing: a mission from the Queen herself. Their wings buzzing behind them, the pair joined in the black cloud growing in the skies over the Crystal Empire, rising until they were just over the rooftops of the apartment buildings.

Switch studied his partner as the smaller changeling scanned the streets below, analyzing the crowd of panicking quadrupeds with a pair of eyes sharpened by years of practice. As they flew, they were forced to dodge the jagged spires jutting off the roves of every building in an imitation of medieval Equestrian architecture. Or maybe not an imitation, he mused. These guys have been in some sort of hibernation for the past millennium, right?

As he watched, a group of changelings descended into the river of panicking ponies, firing off goop as they encircled a small pack right in the middle, which trapped the ponies along the edge and turned them into living barricades for the ponies in the middle. The effect was like dropping a massive rock into a stream, forcing the ponies behind the circle into a pair of narrow channels along the street’s edges, where they were easy pickings. The air filled with the cries and moans of the surprised and trapped ponies, now hemmed in by their own crystalline structures.

“Yeah, welcome back,” he sighed under his breath. What they did was a necessary evil, he knew that, but it didn’t ease his conscience any. He turned his attention to his friend and called: “You see ‘em!?”

The smaller changeling shook his head, his eyes remaining trained on the streets below. “Naw, but that might not mean anything with the sheer amount of ‘em down there.”

Switch grinned. “Bait, m’man, you must be losin’ your touch if you can’t find a pair of magical, brightly-colored ponies.”

“Oh, don’t even give me that bullshit, dude,” Bait hissed through a good-natured smile. “I’m looking for a couple of specific ponies in a sea of…THERE!”

The smiles disappeared on both faces immediately. Both angled downward, aiming for one of the horizontal spires poking off the edge of a rooftop overlooking an alley that smelt like a sewer. Or a college student’s dorm room. Switch raised his hooves, knees bending to absorb the hit, promptly straightening up once the force of the blow had been properly dispersed throughout his body. Bait, on the other hoof, hooked his forelegs on the structure and swung around, landing nimbly right next to his friend.

“Where?” Switch asked automatically.

Bait raised a hoof, signaling for quiet, then he motioned for Switch to follow. Nodding, the larger changeling kept on the smaller’s six as they scaled the wall, hooves gripping every minor imperfection in the purple crystal while their wings worked silently to provide just enough extra lift to keep them moving. At the top, both grasped the outer edge of the roof and propelled themselves over with a burst of strength from their forehooves. They landed near-simultaneously, wings flaring out at the last moment to arrest their momentum, then promptly skittered to the far edge of the building, where Bait called for a halt.

He turned to his friend and motioned to the far edge of the rooftop, then pointed downwards. The message was loud and clear: down there. Nodding, Switch hugged the roof and crept alongside his friend, peeking over the ledge just enough to see.

In the alley below him, hiding behind a garbage can next to a crude graffiti image of a pony with a penis the size of its own body, were the Elements of Kindness and Laughter. As Switch watched, the pegasus took a quick peek over the can, saw a couple dozen changelings descend upon a family of touring unicorns, and immediately turned back to her friend with wide eyes, quivering lips, and a coat that went from butter yellow to pale white in the space of a few seconds.

“Fluttershy?” The pink pony asked, resting a hoof on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

The pegasus shook her head, grabbed the pink one’s hoof, and jammed it into her own mouth, emitting a few high-pitched squeaks. Switch let out a quick chortle, closer to a cough than a laugh. That was kinda cute… he thought.

“Better?” The pink one asked hopefully.

“Kind of,” the yellow one whispered, which combined with her already-quiet nature to form a nearly inaudible squeak that took all of Switch’s ability to discern. “A-are they gone?”

“No,” the pink one said, trying to smile reassuringly but coming up with an expression so paper-thin it took yellow all of half a second to see through it. “But don’t worry! I’m sure we’ll be safe so long as no one sees us!”

“Oh for pity’s sake,” Bait whispered, shaking his head shamefully. “They’re not just tempting fate, they’re wiggling their little flanks right in its face!”

“That gonna be our cue?” Switch hissed back.

Bait just grinned. “Might as well be, right?” He snickered. Sharing his grin, Switch joined him as he vaulted the wall and fell to the ground, wings fanning out again to lessen the shock. The ponies only knew they were being stalked when the changelings landed with a pair of light taps.

“Eep,” yellow squeaked fearfully.

Switch pasted an easygoing, intimidating little grin on his face, eyeing the pegasus. “Well, well, Bait, what’ve we got here?”

Bait copied the grin, circling around to stand right behind pink. “Looks like a coupla pretty little ponies, tryin’ to get away,” he replied, tracing a hoof along her spine to elicit a shiver.

“D’aww, de poor, scared, widdle ponies.”

“You leave us alone, you meanies!” Pink screeched, cradling her friend in her forelegs, who cowered and shivered fearfully.

Switch felt the tiniest twinge of guilt as he leaned in, that grin still mocking her with all its might. “And if I don’t? If I were to simply truss the pair of you up like cattle and drag you back to our Queen by force?”

Without a word, pink slowly unwrapped her hoof around yellow, never breaking eye contact with Switch. He allowed the tiniest possible uncomfortable shift in his stance as she slowly reached behind herself, and suddenly whipped around with a no-fucking-way-where-did-that-even-come-rom cannon in her grip. With a single blast, Bait was sent flying against the wall in an explosion of confetti and streamers, where he bashed his head against a trash can and splashed into a puddle at her hooves.

“BAIT!” Switch started, taking a step forward, only to almost fall face-first right into the cannon. The pink pony smiled as she wrapped a hoof around the device’s trigger, slowly applying more and more pressure, and all the while Switch could only think of one thing to say: “Where in the hay were you even hiding…”

He was interrupted by 500 FPS of pure, party-starting power slamming into his face, sending him flying in a cold display of calculated precision. His head reeling, Switch laid paralyzed as the pink pony grimly blew the smoke off her weapon, returning it to whatever hellish pocket dimension she’d retrieved it from, grabbing yellow, and taking off down another back alleyway.

Switch grumbled, cradling his head with a grimace, forcing the stars back out of his vision. His eyes bugged out at the sight of the small, limp form lying in a puddle off to the side. “BAIT!” He gasped, rushing to his friend’s side. The smaller changeling stared at the sky with a big, blank look, a large dent in the trash can by his head from where he’d hit. “Oh my sweet Chrysalis, Bait! Say something!” He gasped, pulling his friend in close.

The other changeling kept staring straight upwards, mouthing: “Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

Switch cringed. “Something besides that. Something coherent.”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“Bait, c’mon! Command to Bait! Come in, Bait! Where are ya!?”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“Seriously, you’re starting to freak me out now.”

“Wah-wah-wah-wah…”

“C’mon, li’l buddy! Don’t tell me I’ve just lost my best friend to brain damage!”

At that, the smaller changeling locked eyes with the larger, grabbed his cheeks in his hooves, pulled him in and said with infinite glee: “Wha-wha-what a MARE! I mean, did you see that!? She just nailed us with that thing and then blew the smoke off like it was nothin’! I didn’t even know anyone did that outside of movies! It was so cool!”

Immediately, Switch relaxed. “Hey Romeo,” he said with a grin, pulling out of the hooves’ grip. “If you’re done peeing yourself over the highlighter-colored horsey, we’re supposed to chase them down now?”

“Huh?” He looked over his shoulder at the alleyway pink and yellow had just disappeared into. “Oh, right, c’mon.”

They leapt into the air, their insect-like wings allowing them to swerve and maneuver through the tight alleyways of the Crystal Empire in pursuit of their prey. It was ironic: the ponies’ own city had been built specifically to give changelings the advantage. In such close quarters, pegasi wings were almost completely useless. Even with Switch’s semi-crippled wing and bobbing flying pattern, it only took them a few minutes to catch up to the mares trying to gallop away.

“Girls, just make this easy on yourselves!” Switch bellowed after the pink tails bobbing up and down in his vision (partly from his half-crippled flight pattern). “We’ve already taken the city! It’s only a matter of time before we take you too!”

“Dinner and a movie first!” Pinkie bellowed, springing off a wall, slamming on top of a garbage can, and leaping off at just the right angle to send the lid flying into the larger changeling’s face.

“So cool…” Bait muttered, distracted just long enough to slam headfirst into the side of a dumpster with a loud clang.

“See ya, losahs!” Pinkie giggled, beaming as she looked over to her friend and saw a stifled grin on her face. The mares smiled at each other and looked straight ahead, determined to make their escape.

Behind them, Switch peeled his face out of the lid and looked at the impression it left behind: bared fangs, wide eyes, gaping mouth. “Aw jeez, do I really look like this when I’m surprised?” He muttered.

“Switch!” Bait yelled as he buzzed into the air, motioning for him to join in.

“Right,” the larger changeling muttered, throwing the lid aside and buzzing into the air. Even with all the head starts the ponies had gained with pink’s apparent combat ability, they couldn’t hope to stay ahead of two changelings for long!

Three more bashed-in trashcan lids, two dented dumpster sides, and a particularly pissed-off Rottweiler later, and both changelings’ belief in that assertion was starting to shake. “Switch!” Bait gasped, peeling his face out of a hole in a brick wall and pulling a slice of rotten cucumber off his one fang. “We can’t go on like this!”

Climbing out of a dumpster with a large, multicolored circus afro super-glued to his head, the larger changeling nodded. “Agreed. We should bargle the table much cauliflower.”

“What?”

“I said we need to come up with something better. What do you think I said?”

“Okaaayyy…” Bait said, eyebrows arched in concern as he made a mental note to check his friend into the nearest infirmary later. “I think we’ve been going at this all wrong. We’ve just been brute-forcing it like a couple of idiots.”

Grinning as he tore the afro off, Switch held his hoof out straight ahead. “Time for a little Bait and Switch?”

Returning the grin and completing the bro-hoof, Bait nodded. “Time for a little Bait and Switch.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie took the quickest moment to peer over her shoulder. “Fluttershy, hold up,” she said, slowing to a trot.

“Are you crazy!?” The pegasus squealed, still galloping full-steam ahead. “They’re right behind us!”

“No they aren’t! Look!” Pinkie gasped, seizing Fluttershy’s tail in her teeth. Finally, the pegasus chanced a quick glance over her shoulder. No changelings. None whatsoever. She joined Pinkie and slowed down to a trot, and the pair grinned at each other.

“That was close!” Fluttershy giggled. “Oh Pinkie, you were so brave!”

“Eh, I got most of that stuff from Rainbow Dash, especially that last line,” Pinkie shrugged. “Besides, you were brave too!”

“Oh, no I wasn’t, I’m not…”

“Don’t say that, Flutters! I know how badly you wanted to curl up into a little ball, but instead you…”

“HELP!” Someone gasped. The mares looked ahead just as a small, purple filly with a messy orange mane bolted around a corner and skidded to a halt in front of them. “Oh thank goodness, other ponies!” She gasped in relief.

“Hey there,” Pinkie said gently, stopping to offer a hoof to the little filly. “What’s your name, little girl?”

The filly paused. “Bai…uh…Betty. I’m Betty.” She replied after a moment’s hesitation.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Fluttershy cooed, giving the filly a warm nuzzle. “What seems to be the problem?”

“My daddy,” the filly choked, tears welling up in her eyes. “W-we were just walking and shopping and doing pony things and all of a sudden these nasty, black, bug things showed up and everyone was running around and yelling and there was a big e-esplosion and someone hit my daddy and now he’s not moving and…”

“Shhh…” Pinkie whispered, embracing the filly with all the gentleness afforded her by months of babysitting experience. “Now, where’s your daddy?”

“Just around that corner there,” the filly sniffled, pointing a hoof to the little alley she’d just run from.

“Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked, motioning towards the alleyway and to the little filly currently holding her leg in a death grip.

Nodding shakily, the pegasus galloped away and rounded the corner, almost immediately spying a tall, blue unicorn stallion lying amidst some garbage strewn around an overturned can. Without a moment’s hesitation, she bolted to his side and set to work, turning him onto his back and checking him over for injuries. The only thing that hit her on seeing the stallion’s pristine coat was a sense of relief that she wouldn’t need to put her meager pony medical skills to the test, and not how odd it was that a full-grown stallion who had apparently been knocked unconscious didn’t have a mark on him. “Oh dear…sir, are you alright?” She asked.

The stallion coughed weakly and opened his eyes, which shimmered a deep green. Fluttershy’s own baby blues widened and she took a step back. All at once, the stallion leapt to his hooves and hissed, unleashing a strange spurt of goo from his horn as fangs materialized out of his gumline.

“Oh!” She gasped, stumbling back as the goo caught her in the wing. She looked on in horror as it immediately hardened, locking her wing to the side even more forcefully than her fear usually would. Her eyes widened in terror as the stallion reared up, towering over her as his blue coat disappeared in a flash of green flame, revealing black chitin and insect-like wings.

“I’m feeling better, now that we’ve finally got you cornered,” the large changeling sneered, taking a few steps towards her.

“Oh-oh-PINKIE!” Fluttershy gasped, hyperventilating as she galloped around the corner. “They’re…change…” she trailed off as she caught sight of the pink mare lying on the ground, letting out a muffled cry from behind the goop gluing her lips together. The smaller changeling stood over her, binding her hooves and looking back to Fluttershy in triumph.

“Oh no...” Fluttershy squeaked, backing away as the smaller changeling grinned at her and hissed. Her flank brushed against something solid, and a shiver travelled up her spine. “Oh no…” she whimpered again, hot breath beating against her back. She twirled just as the larger changeling snapped at her, hissing threateningly. Breathing heavily, she backed up against the wall, eyes wide in horror as the pair advanced on her. Pinkie screeched and struggled hopelessly against her bonds, flopping around like a fish on dry land. The pegasus felt the cold, hard crystal of the building behind her press against her flanks, and she shut her eyes and fell to her stomach. Trapped…

Whimpering, she held her hooves over her eyes and sniffled, tears welling. Oh, how she wished somepony else were here. Twilight would just teleport them to safety, or Rarity would yell their assailants into submission before beating them senseless for such “uncouth behavior,” and it went without saying that Dash and AJ would be dancing a jig over the changelings’ unconscious bodies by now. Heck, if Pinkie were free, she’d probably be blasting these two to ribbons with her party cannon. But her? Poor little Fluttershy? She was useless. All she could do was curl up into a little ball and cry like a…

“Oh jeez, dude, is she crying?”

Fluttershy opened one eye slowly, tentatively. Both changelings stared back at her, ice-cold eyes wide in shock.

“Yep,” the larger changeling replied. “She’s crying.”

“Seriously!? But she’s an Element of Harmony! The other one kicked our butts hard enough to…oh jeez, here come the tears…”

“Okay…okay, look…uh…little…pony…” Switch said awkwardly. He looked to his partner, who shrugged and urged him along with a hoof. Rolling his eyes, Switch turned his attention back to the little yellow pegasus and slowly crept towards her. She recognized the approach immediately: it was the same one she used whenever she approached an injured bunny or something else small and easily frightened.

“Dude?” The smaller changeling said. “I’m not sure you should…”

“Just gimme a second, okay?” Switch barked, keeping his voice even and low. Slowly, he made his way towards her, staying low and small, ears folded back submissively. His partner fell silent, watching curiously. Even Pinkie stopped struggling and flopping around, watching as Switch slowly stretched a hoof out to the little pegasus.

Her breath coming more slowly, Fluttershy watched the chitinous hoof extend towards her and, as if she were mesmerized, slowly stuck her own out, reaching towards it. Eventually, the keratin at the bottom of her hoof made contact with the hardened chitin at the bottom of his. He smiled slightly, disarming her despite the ugly scar running down the side of his face. Slowly, tentatively, she returned the smile. Nodding, he promptly leaned in close to her and, before she could react, unleashed a spurt of goo that bound her forelegs together.

“Oh!” She gasped in surprise, automatically turning to run, only to stumble over her new bonds.

“Easy, easy!” He shouted, grabbing her before she could even start falling over. She whimpered again, even as he gently laid her over his back, alongside Pinkie. Through it all, the chitin on his forehead remained scrunched up, as if he were trying to say I’m sorry with just his facial expression. “It’s over now, okay?”

She felt tears well up in her eyes again, but nodded. Sighing as the pegasus curled up on his back and hid her face behind her mane, Switch gestured to his friend. “C’mon. I think the Queen was expecting us back a while ago.”

“Y-yeah,” Bait stammered, still taken aback by the events of the past few minutes. He hurried to trot alongside his friend and partner in crime, but something felt off. He knew he should have felt like a million bucks after defeating the Elements of Kindness and Laughter, but something had cheapened the victory, hollowed it out and made it worthless. He still tried to walk with his chest thrust out in victory, but he never did manage to meet the eyes of the captured pegasus as they strolled back to the tavern: a fact that did not escape the cold, hate-filled gaze of the creature watching them from the rooftops.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Weaklings,” High-General Chickit muttered, glaring at the pair of soldiers trotting away with their prisoners. Oh sure, they’d gotten the job done, but he remembered a time when there’d be no negotiations: where his soldiers would have simply snatched the ponies up and carried them off. No muss, no fuss.

He grimaced. Was the Queen’s weakness bleeding through to her subjects somehow? No, that was ridiculous. This had been a generational thing, a slow bleed that left the swarm’s fangs dull, its subjects soft. He had heard the rumors of changelings leaving the swarm to live with ponies in secret. How they could turn their backs on their own swarm was beyond him, the very thought made his stomach twist. How could anyone give up the nurturing walls of the changeling caverns to live with ponies? To only love with ponies? To even…copulate with ponies…

A shudder travelled up the High-General’s black, chitin-shielded spine, his wings quivering with the motion. No, the Queen’s weakness was just another symptom of the disease that had been slowly tearing out the entire species’ resolve. Love and sympathy had no place in a changeling’s heart, only its belly, but now it was contaminating the minds of everyling around him!

Nose wrinkling in disgust, he turned away from the roof’s edge, cape billowing out behind him in a small breeze. Well, diseases just needed to be cured, that was all. And he would cure this disease, rip it right out of every single changeling’s veins himself if he had to, drum it into their skulls that THEY were superior, THEY were the pinnacle of evolution, and THEY were meant to feed upon the creatures of this world as their forefathers had before them!

He slowly descended the steps from his high point, allowing every one of his steps to echo off the walls. Well, if there was one thing he could be grateful for, it was that some of his fellow changelings hadn’t given in. At least some of the swarm remained free of the sickness. The darkness at the bottom of the steps, accompanied by the glowing eyes of his loyal soldiers and muffled screams of his prisoners, reminded him of this.

His fangs gleaming in the dark, he ignited a spark at the end of his horn, casting the makeshift cavern in a sickly, green glow. The few dozen changelings in the room greeted him, not even flinching in the sudden light, which was more than could be said for the handful of ponies currently glued to the walls, which flinched and moaned and carried on in the most pathetic of ways. He snarled to silence them, and heard a few suddenly break down in tears.

He smiled. Oh sure, his domain didn’t seem like much now, but given time, it would become so much more. This is where it all begins…

“High General!” One of the changelings stepped forward and saluted, waiting until Chickit nodded before lowering his hoof and proceeding. “Raiding parties would like to report approximately seven ponies, captured and ready to serve the true swarm, sir!”

The General gazed down at the underling disapprovingly, earning a cringe from the other changeling. “Seven?”

“Well…the Queen has spread her forces out quite effectively, sir,” the underling’s ears folded back, his gaze breaking contact with the General’s. “Capturing ponies without the loyalists and general populace noticing proved more difficult than anticipated.”

The changeling cringed beneath his superior’s steely gaze, the High-General’s eyes like a wild Manticore’s, glowing in the darkness. Eventually, the High General waved a hoof. “As should have been expected,” he sighed. “Chrysalis still must secure the city; of course she has her forces fanning out to search for any stragglers from the so-called ‘Crystal Guard’. She can’t risk them retaining an organized presence within the city once the Equestrians respond in force.”

“Of course, sir,” the underling replied, an audible sigh of relief making its way through the ranks of the changelings scattered around the room.

“Still, that phase won’t last long,” the High-General replied, the steely glare rematerializing on his face. “Once Chrysalis believes her position to be secure, her forces will settle in for a long occupation. That means predictable patrols, troops concentrating in garrisons, and more room for us to operate.”

He strode up to the reporting changeling and glared right into his eyes. “I fully expect you…all of you…to compensate for today’s shortcomings once that happens. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” the changeling replied, fighting back the urge to recoil from his leader’s gaze.

“Good,” he replied, striding up to that lovely pegasus couple he’d captured that same day. By now, the wife of the group was in tears, the husband hyperventilating through his nostrils right up to the point when Chickit tore off the goop binding his lips.

“Gah! P-please…” the stallion blubbered pathetically the moment his lips were free. “L-let her go, I-I have enough love for you, just…”

The General gazed down at the stallion as if he were looking at a piece of trash that had gotten caught in a hole in his hoof. “You would so willingly sacrifice yourself for this mare?” He asked dispassionately.

“I-yes! Of course I…”

Without another word, the General hovered his mouth over the pony’s neck, and a second later a little pink cloud sprouted right out of the flesh and into the General’s mouth. The pony gasped and fell limp, his eyes going blank while the General fed, his wife looking on in abject terror. Eventually, his hunger sated, the General backed away and replaced the pony’s gag, the mare’s muffled cries filling his ears. “And that is what makes you weak,” he whispered into his ear. “You could be the most powerful creature in the world, but with love in your heart, all I’d need to do is threaten this mare to cow you.”

Turning away from the food store, Chickit trotted back up the steps, wiping some of the grime from the floor off his cape. “Take a quick snack, and then move out. I want us ready to expand our food supply by the time the sun sets.”

“Yes, sir.” Every changeling in the room sounded off, immediately lining up to suck a pony dry. Not even pausing to watch, the General ascended back into the light of the rooftop, surveying the towers and parapets of the Crystal Empire. Somewhere far off, somepony screamed, followed by a choir of hisses and the telltale buzzing of insect wings. A few black dots darted into view from behind the crushed, smoldering ruins of a little cafe somewhere far off and dove into the streets below.

"My beloved swarm," he smiled, pride swelling within his chest. "I shall protect you at all costs, no matter the circumstances."

A scowl quickly spread across his face and he turned away from the view. "Even if it's from yourselves."

Author's Notes:

...and that's another...

Chapter XII: Aftermath

Princess Celestia of Equestria did not think of herself as an impatient mare. Despite the centuries of board meetings, guest appearances, and fundraisers that only served to boost the status of self-serving nobles, she had resisted the urge to slam her head against a wall and scream “SHUT UP” over and over again until her lungs shot out her mouth like a pair of overinflated balloons being squeezed through a straw. Sure, there was that one time 300 years ago, but hey, if Prince Pompanstance didn’t want somepony to urinate on his scale-model diorama of downtown Manehattan, he should have allowed for bathroom breaks during his presentation on…what was it again…oh yes, “The Socioeconomic Impact of Recent Migration Patterns from Rural to Urban Areas.” Maker above, she was bored just thinking that.

Yes, she preferred to think she was the wise, omniscient ruler her ponies knew and loved, that the image of Celestia the all-knowing wasn’t just a façade she pasted on her face every morning like most ponies applied makeup, but she knew the truth, especially now that Prince Blueblood’s presentation on his own royal bloodline had entered its fifth hour.

“This leads me to the next branch in the family line…if my lovely assistant will change the slide…” the Prince droned.

The perky, white-coated mare gleefully inserted a new roll of slides onto the film carriage, and Celestia swallowed a sudden surge of puke. “Thank you, Miss Redheart,” the Prince said, his hoof reaching across the screen to reach the furthest corner of the board, inadvertently exposing the scars left by the acid burns that bought him and the young mare together.

“You got it, sweets,” the Nurse replied, a little blush on her cheeks.

Celestia sighed. It was wonderful that Blueblood had found love, and that his lover could bring out such a wonderful change in him (when was the last time she’d heard him say ‘thanks’ for anything!?), if only he could realize that not everpony was as enthralled with his voice as he was! Well, him and Redheart, if the little sparkles in her eyes as she watched him talk were any indication. “Now, if there are no questions…” Questions from who? I’m the only one attending this me-forsaken impromptu class! “…I will continue with the third century ANM*, where we encounter Vladimir Blueblood and his…”

He trailed off as he hit the control to work the carriage, and a pair of snickers lilted through the air. Celestia sat up in her hard-backed chair for the first time in hours, both her and Redheart holding their hooves to their mouths, suppressing what would obviously be full-blown laughter otherwise. An eyebrow rising, Blueblood finally turned to the screen displaying what should have been a map showing the travels of Vladimir Blueblood through Saddle Arabia.

His own, smiling face gazed back at him, wide eyes staring from a huge puddle of drool as a miniature version of himself pranced around in a pink baby bonnet, a little stuffed Celestia at his side.

“Ohh, I remember that day!” Celestia cooed as the Prince stared in horror. “Oh, Blueblood, you were such a little sweetie as a baby!”

“Jeez, Blue, ya didn’t tell me you had a pink bonnet and a plushie Celestia growin’ up!” Redheart snickered, the bun in her mane bobbing up and down.

“ACK, NO!” Blueblood gasped, fumbling with the control.

“Actually, the bonnet is quite an interesting story,” Celestia exclaimed. “You see, he had an inverted penis as an infant, so for the first few months of his life we thought he was a girl!”

Blueblood looked at the Princess in absolute horror. “Auntie Tia!”

“Oh, it all worked out in the end, Blue! It came out eventually!” Celestia giggled innocently.

“Really,” Redheart gasped, a light of academic fascination switching on behind her eyes. “I’ve seen a few cases of inverted penises myself, but never so bad the doctors misdiagnosed the foal’s gender!”

“Sweetheart!” Blueblood gasped.

“Oh yes, it was quite the surprise when his stallionhood did show itself, but one day his nanny changed his diapers, and there it was!” She chortled. “Oh, she thought he’d been kidnapped and replaced with a stallion look-alike!”

“No,no!” Blueblood whimpered, finally grabbing hold of the controls and slamming the “Change Slide” button so hard the plastic casing cracked. Immediately, the terrible picture projected behind him slid away, exchanged for an older, acne-afflicted, brace-wearing stallion, sleeping next to a little white lump.

“Say,” Redheart squinted. “Isn’t that the Celestia plushie from his foalhood?”

“Dearest sweetest Celestia…” the Prince whimpered.

“It is!” Celestia gasped excitedly. “I almost forgot! He couldn’t bear to part with it, but the first time he tried to move it out of his bed and to a bookshelf, he got into an accident with a watermelon stand and convinced himself it was cursed!”

“Auntie Tia!” Blueblood gasped.

“So he slept with it into his late twenties!” She laughed, slapping a knee as Redheart fell off her perch, rolling on the floor in hysterics.

“YYAAAAHHHHHH!” Blueblood screamed, vaulting the table and body-slamming the projector in a half-crazed stupor. Slides scattered all over the floor, spreading across the tile and sliding beneath desks to be lost forever in the castle’s ventilation system. The prince reared up, breathing heavily at the crushed pile of metal and plastic beneath his hooves.

“Uh…Blue?” Redheart asked, backing away fearfully. He turned on her, still hyperventilating, nostrils flaring like an animal’s. A lock of hair trailed away from his once-perfect mane, dangling over his eye. All at once, he paused, looked down at the destroyed machine, then up at his aunt and his marefriend.

“Dearie me, um…” he sighed. “I have apparently just lost my composure in a rather unroyal way.”

“No kiddin’: you were totally off your rocker!” Redheart gasped.

Straightening himself up and tucking the golden lock back up where it belonged, he raised a hoof to his chest and lowered his head before Celestia. “Auntie Tia…Princess, I have apparently conducted myself in a manner most unbefitting a royal, as well as rendered the remainder of my presentation unusable. If you will please excuse me, I must apologize for such an outburst.”

“That’s quite alright, dearest nephew,” Celestia waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s not every day that a pony can expect past…embarrassments to be presented before them.”

“Yeah, especially in front of their marefriend,” Redheart guffawed. The prince glared at her before gathering up a few of the rolls of slides.

“Thank you for your time, Princess,” he said quietly, Redheart gathering up the remainder of his supplies as he trotted out the door and let it swing shut behind her.

“So, ya still got that doll?” Celestia heard Redheart whisper as the pair trotted away.

“Nuh-no!”

“Oh my sweet Celestia, you totally do…”

The Princess smiled and shook her head. The next few nights would certainly be interesting for her nephew. Of course, he never saw what she saw, or heard what she heard. The little hue of golden magic engulfing the slides a moment before they clicked into place, the telltale guffawing that bounced around the room as the Prince’s distress grew more and more. It all pointed to one thing.

“Discord?” She asked. “I know you are there. Don’t make me search for you.”

A moment later, the draconequus crashed to the ground before her, rolling around in mirth as his laughter bounced off the walls, taking out little ornate lamps and golden curtain rods as little “ha’s” hopped off every surface in the room like a bunch of superballs being dumped on the ground. “Did you – did you see the look on his face!?” The spirit of chaos and disharmony laughed, his entire body writhing on the floor. “Oh, that was too good!”

“Discord,” Celestia said sternly, glaring down at her lover.

The spirit sat up from the floor, his laughter dying down. “Oh come now, Tia, you know I can’t go too long without tormenting at least one of your little ponies.”

Her glare darkened. “Prince Blueblood worked very hard on that presentation, and he never even got halfway through it!”

The draconequus rolled his eyes and pouted. “Tia, this was part of the deal! You know I…hmph!”

He cut himself off as the Alicorn suddenly leapt atop him, wrapping her forehooves around his neck and kissing him passionately on the lips, her entire body laying atop his. Finishing the kiss, she snuggled deep into his chest fur. “My hero,” she cooed.

He popped a smart little smirk at that. “Now Tia, what kind of stallionfriend wouldn’t act if he saw his damsel was in distress?”

“I wouldn’t call it distress, it’s just…” she sighed, snuggling even deeper into his fur as his eagle talon ran along her spine, eliciting a mild shiver. “Ugh, I am happy he’s found love, and at how good for him that love has been, I really am! He’s better with Nurse Redheart than he ever was alone, but he still gets so entranced by his own voice! If Redheart wasn’t every bit as head over hooves with him as he was with himself…”

“Tch,” he snickered, his embrace tightening. “Love is weird.”

“Yes,” she mused, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Love is weird.”

“So, what are you doing with the rest of your day?”

“Well, with Luna gone, I should really go prepare for the Night Courts.”

“Ah yes,” his nose scrunched up. “Do you really think giving her a couple weeks away from Canterlot was such a good idea?”

“The timing could have been better,” she admitted. “But you saw how hard she’d been working! She needed to get away from her duties for a while, to recoup, to get away from…”

“…us?” He asked flatly.

She bit her lip. “You must admit, seeing another loving couple still deep in the early stages of full-on romance isn’t the best thing for somepony still trying to relate to others, much less find someone to love her in that way.”

“A bit like salting the wound, yes,” he mused. “Ah well, the Night Courts shouldn’t take you too long, right?”

“Right,” she smiled, hugging him tight. “I still need my sleep, you know, so if you can finish up with the Everfree I think I can make it to bed around…”

Suddenly, the door burst open. “Princess, we…“ a royal guard stumbled in, saw the pair embracing on the floor, and blushed instantly.

Celestia sighed and pulled herself off the draconequus. Though the guards had all been sworn to secrecy about her relationship with the god of chaos, it still would be bad form to share an intimate moment right in front of one. Discord pouted, his body coiling up into a little ball. “Yes, guard, what is it?” She asked, unable to keep the impatience from her voice.

“We better be under attack or something,” Discord grumbled.

“Uh…” the guard took a moment as his mind rebooted. “Oh, yes, it’s the Crystal Empire, Princess! We just received word that the changelings have invaded!”

Celestia and Discord’s eyes flew wide, all impatience and hopes for further snuggles forgotten in a sudden burst of absolute fear and panic. The draconequus's fur stood on end as the Princess took a few shell-shocked steps backwards.

“Luna,” she whimpered.

“Fluttershy,” he gasped.

All at once, both their jaws dropped and they stared fearfully at each other, coming to the same realization. “The GIRLS!”

“All six of the Elements of Harmony…Twilight…” Celestia trailed off.

“Six of the sweetest ponies in Equestria…in the grip of that madmare…” Discord lamented.

“Your majesty?” The guard asked. The Princess turned, her face a blank slate of pure, shocked numbness as she faced him, her jaw working up and down. The guard swallowed. “Wh-what will you have us do?”

In an instant, the shell-shocked look gave way to a glare of blinding determination. “Summon every single active duty soldier and tell them to prepare to march out. Have them pack for winter conditions: we’ll be heading north, and could be entering a siege situation.”

“Yes, Princess,” the guard said, visibly relieved that the Princess was no longer staring numbly into some great, unknowable nothing.

“In addition, I want every auxiliary and home guard unit activated and preparing maneuvers,” she screamed, already pacing on the tile. “I’ll not have Chrysalis catching the rest of Equestria unaware while we go chasing shadows in the tundra!”

“Yes, Princess, as you wish, Princess,” the guard bowed as he left, careful to shut the door quietly behind him.

Discord finally took a few steps forward, resting a claw on the Princess's shoulder. “Tia…”

“Discord,” she replied, her voice even and business-like. “How do you feel about a few weeks up north?”

The draconequus arched an eyebrow, and then a wicked grin crossed his face. He cracked a few knuckles and held his bear paw out to her. “If it’s a war Chrysalis wants…”

She smiled and placed her hoof in the paw. “…then it’s a war Chrysalis shall get.”

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Chrysalis's eyes drooped, her hole-filled legs quaking despite her best efforts (though she had managed to fight them down to a minor quiver). The love from the Crystal Heart still burned in her core; she could feel it fueling every one of her muscles, yet her battle with the Princess had taken more out of her than she could have ever guessed, and creating restraints which could hold her had been no picnic either. Still, this was the show she had been raised for, and the show she had been playing in for the past century or so of her life, so finding the strength to maintain the old façade wasn’t terribly difficult. And yet, as she lounged in the tiny café with a small army of private guards and one of her greatest enemies cocooned at her hooves, she couldn’t help but feel a longing urge to just put her legs up and relax.

Oh! But speaking of the Princess…

“You can drop the charade any time now,” she said, lifting a cup of tea to her lips. “That pod keeps track of your respiration and pulse. I know you’ve been awake for the past ten minutes.”

Princess Luna’s eyes flickered open, immediately morphing into an angry glare aimed right through the goo within her tiny prison. She leveled that gaze on the Queen a split second before maneuvering herself against the far wall of the cocoon. Chrysalis watched with the chitin just above her eye arched as the Princess's rear hooves lashed out in a blow aimed directly at the quivering, gelatinous walls, which of course bounced back futilely, like some sort of ultra-durable rubber. Though she did an okay job of covering it, the Queen took notice of the tiny wince of pain which accompanied Luna straining her wounds.

“Please don’t,” Chrysalis sighed. “The only thing you’ll damage is yourself. Besides, that cocoon is the only reason your wounds aren’t bubbling over with pus right now.”

The Princess paused and eyed the queen suspiciously, who promptly rolled her eyes. “Look, it wouldn’t do if our prey died of some infection before we ever had a chance to feed off them, right? I mean, sitting in one place for hours at a time doesn’t do much for the immune system. That goo you are trapped in has evolved to be antiseptic. So at least remain in there until your wounds heal, then continue your pointless struggling, okay?”

Luna still glared out her prison, but what the Queen said made enough sense to make her stop. That was something, at least. “Good. Thank you. Let me just start with an apology: I had hoped to restrain you more efficiently, but there was a moment where…”

You have misjudged many things in coming here, monster…

Chrysalis’s grip on her tea tightened until a hairline fracture formed in the cup. Still, she kept her face at a steely calm, holding at a half-lidded neutral as she looked down at the Princess. “…I lost my temper. As a monarch, it was a shameful loss of control, and I wish to extend my sincerest apologies for striking you as hard as I did.”

Luna arched a single eyebrow, but kept her muzzle firmly shut.

“The silent treatment, eh?” Chrysalis grinned, making sure each of her razor-sharp fangs was clearly visible to the trapped Alicorn. “I guess I should have expected nothing less. Just so you know, you and your ponies will receive fair treatment while I consolidate my forces here, and within a month we should hopefully be out of your mane.”

Luna kept her eyebrow arched and her forehooves crossed, her mane drifting about behind her in the fluid. Still, she remained silent as the Queen continued sipping her tea. “This is quite a lovely blend, you know,” she remarked. “I do hope you get the chance to taste it at some point.”

“My Queen!” A deep, throaty voice interrupted the one-sided conversation.

Chrysalis sighed and placed her tea on the table. “Terribly sorry, Princess. Duty calls,” she cackled as she rose from her seat and turned.

Bait and Switch bowed before her, dropping the bound ponies at her hooves. “My Queen, we have captured the Elements of Laughter and Kindness, as ordered,” the smaller changeling hissed.

Chrysalis eyed the pair on the ground: the pink one glaring at her and yelling something through her gag, the yellow one cringing and shrinking beneath her rosette mane, trying to become as small as possible while holding her bound hooves up over her face. “Ah, very good. Excellent work, my subjects.”

“Thank you, my Queen,” both changelings enthused.

“As the ones who captured them, you shall have the honor of guarding over these ponies during our occupation of the city,” she turned towards the tavern, still shimmering beneath her magical grip. “See to it that they are cocooned and given their respective duties once we are finished here.”

“Yes, my Queen, thank you, my Queen,” both changelings echoed. Switch gently scooped up Fluttershy in his magic while Bait picked up a kicking and screaming Pinkie, holding her at a distance to avoid her bound, yet still flailing, hooves. Both changelings flanked their Queen, holding the captured ponies in front of them like trophies. Nodding to each in turn, Chrysalis took a few steps towards the tavern. In an instant, a hundred personal guardlings fell in step beside her, completely surrounding the smaller building with spears and shields leveled.

With a single bob of the Queen’s head, the magical shimmer over the building disappeared. “Twilight Sparkle!” She barked, her voice amplified just like the Chrystal Guards’ earlier. “You have already been defeated! Your Princess is my captive, as are your friends! Your brother and step-sister have been restrained! The city is already secured! You have no allies, no friends, no one at all to help you! Surrender immediately and I promise you and the remaining Elements of Harmony will be treated fairly as prisoners of the Changeling Swarm!”

No response came from within the tavern. For a full five minutes, the building sat completely and eerily silent. A few of the soldiers shifted uncomfortably on their hooves, their hearts beginning to race, sweat gathering on their foreheads as they all watched the building with gazes that could have burnt through solid crystal. “She knows I’ve already defeated her Princess,” Chrysalis mused. “Surely, she can’t be foolish enough to attempt a counterattack!”

Then again, this was Twilight Sparkle she was talking about: Princess Celestia’s protégé, and the Element of MAGIC itself. Sure, if things came down to it, the Queen was certain she could take the little unicorn on, unlike that last time when she’d fillynapped those three younger ponies. Things had changed since then. Chrysalis was stronger, running high off of Crystal Heart juice, and she’d already defeated the Princess of Night! Surely, Twilight could see…okay, y’know what? This had gone on for too long.

“If you aren’t coming out, then I’m coming in,” she hissed, stamping her hoof and motioning to a pair of changelings to her right. Nodding, they immediately leapt into the air and darted to the building’s façade, affixing a glob of goo that glowed eerily against the door and hummed and crackled as they produced it. In a second, a glob maybe a foot wide stuck to the frame, and the pair darted back into the line. With a final nod from the Queen, one of the pair unleashed a small, green bolt of hyper-excited magic aimed directly at the blob, which detonated spectacularly. Instantly, changelings swarmed into the building through the gaping, smoldering portal, skittering along the walls, ceiling, and floor as an unending black flood that inundated the structure’s interior. Chrysalis strolled in amidst the swarm as they scoured every single corner, a scowl growing upon her face.

“Oh Miss Spaarrr-kle…” she hissed, a few tables rising from the floor in her magic’s grip and shattering against the walls. “Where arrree yooouuuuuu?”

“My Queen,” a changeling rose from out of the black tide and saluted. “We’ve found something.”

Arching the chitin over an eye again, she motioned for him to continue. The changeling immediately swooped to a spot in the middle of the floor with a small swarm of changelings circling around it, giving the appearance of a whirlpool in the midst of the little black bodies. Nodding to the others, the changeling landed in the middle of the spiral and tapped at the floor with a hoof. A hollow rapping sound rose over the chittering of the swarm.

“No,” Chrysalis grumbled. Could Sparkle really be that slippery!? No, she was just a little nerd that got lucky once or twice, she couldn’t…

Tossing a few of her subjects aside in rage, Chrysalis threw herself at the little patch of wood and sent a powerful magic blast through it. Once the dust and dirt from the blast settled, a gaping black maw revealed itself, yawning wide open, taunting her. “Of course,” she said, shaking her head as her scowl grew, her anger boiling up within her.

“My Queen, should we organize a party to pursue her?” The changeling asked.

“Don’t bother,” she laughed. “E-even if we could assume Twilight and her little friends were still down there and hadn’t disappeared out a hidden exit somewhere, I’d have to personally accompany them or risk losing more changelings. Or need I remind you how many of your brothers and sisters that same group managed to defeat at the wedding?”

The changeling swallowed fearfully and shook his head.

“I didn’t think so,” Chrysalis sighed, trotting out of the tavern and glaring across at the cocoon lying next to her teacup. She couldn’t say for sure, but she could swear the Princess was smirking at her through the goop she was trapped in. Her anger piqued. She tried to resist the urge to pull off that old cliché, but just then, it was so overwhelming, her emotions rising to a fever pitch until finally she could resist no more.

Bracing her hooves, Chrysalis threw her head back, dropped her jaw wide, and bellowed: “SPAAAARRRRRRRRKKLLLLEEE!”

Chapter XIII: Rescue?

“Hm?” One of Twilight’s ears perked. She peered back through the tunnel, nose scrunched up.

“Twi? What’s up?” Applejack asked, peering over her shoulder back at her friend.

“I dunno,” Twilight replied, eyebrows hunched in thought. “I could swear someone was screaming my name in a clichéd yet semi-ironic manner.”

AJ’s eyebrows joined Twilight’s in a scrunched-up look, though this was more in worry than in thought. “Uh…come again?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight sighed, pounding on her head. “I’ve been hanging around Pinkie a lot, and I think some of her…Pinkieness is rubbing off.”

“Ah,” AJ nodded sagely.

“Uh, guys?” Rainbow said, swooping in over their heads. “Couldja keep up? I mean, usually I’d get it, but today, it’s kinda important that you do.”

“Well, pardon me for trying to maintain something of a lady-like posture in the depths of barbarism,” Rarity replied as she trotted out of the low tunnel, brushing a few flecks of dirt from her otherwise impeccable mane. When she stepped out into the alleyway just outside their little tunnel, she nearly stumbled into a mud-filled puddle, only to pause once and clear her throat, hoof still hovering over the filthy water’s surface. Immediately, a pair of crystal stallions materialized at her side, one of whom laid a frilly doily across the puddle’s surface while the other braced his back against her hoof, supporting it. Both stallions wore goofy grins on their faces before slinking away and bowing.

“Thank you, gentlestallions,” Rarity said before trotting along.

“You’re welcome, Miss Rarity,” the pair echoed.

“Da-gum, Rares, you got those stallions trained better’n them Crystal Guardsponies,” Applejack mused as the alabaster unicorn trotted by.

“Well, sometimes all a stallion needs is a lady’s touch,” she replied with a sultry little toss of her mane. Behind them, the last of the ponies from the tavern slunk out of the secret exit, another crystal stallion sliding a dumpster back over the hole, covering it completely.

“That’s quite the effective little escape hatch,” Twilight mused.

“Yeah,” the barkeep said. “The rebels built it during Sombra’s reign. Had it installed in case they needed a quick getaway, seein’ how they liked to use my tavern t’meet all the time.”

“Rebels?”

“Oh yeah,” the barkeep winked. “What, you didn’t think we all bowed our heads and submitted to that tyrant, didja?”

“Much as I’d love to hang out for a little history lesson,” Rainbow interrupted, dropping in between the pair. “We should really keep moving. It won’t be long before one of those bugs stumbles over the tunnel.”

As if to drive her point home, a group of changelings buzzed by over their heads, wings beating at the air. The small group held their breaths, but these changelings were apparently heading someplace else, their eyes focused straight ahead as they sailed right over the ponies.

The group let out a collective sigh of relief. “Changelings,” Twilight whimpered. “I can’t believe we have to suffer through this again.”

“The question is,” Applejack added. “What happens now?”

The entire group looked at each other, uncomfortably shifting on their hooves. Nopony had an answer. “Well,” Dash said. “I suppose we could…”

“SOMEPONY HELP ME!” The cry shattered any calm that had settled in the little alleyway like a brick through a plate glass window. The ponies all eyed one another worriedly, until Rainbow Dash grimaced and landed at the alleyway’s opening, trotting towards the source of the shout.

“Rainbow, wait!” Twilight said, reaching out to her friend.

“No way, Twi. We’re the Elements of Harmony! We’re supposed to help ponies in trouble, no ifs, ands, or buts!”

“Buh-but…”

“You really think that’d be best, lady?” The barkeep asked. “I mean, I’m all for helpin’ somepony in need, but we’re kinda in pretty deep here.”

Rainbow glared back at her friend, then at the barkeep. “No ifs. Ands. Or buts.” She asserted.

Applejack rolled her eyes and trotted up next to her friend. “C’mon y’all, y’know there’s no talkin’ her outta somethin’ when she’s got her head set on it.”

Twilight took a few steps back, and sighed, resigning herself to Applejack’s pure, simple logic. Once Rainbow Dash had her mind set on a goal, pulling her away from it was harder than…well, defending the Crystal Empire from a changeling invasion, apparently. “Okay, we’re going to save whoever that was, fine. But I think Rainbow and I should be the only ones to go.”

The other mares’ jaws dropped.

“Heck no!” AJ barked.

“Darling, you can’t be serious!” Rarity yelled.

“Good enough fer me,” the crystal stallions echoed, already making for the deepest, darkest corner in the alleyway.

Rarity seized each stallion by the ear and dragged them back to the small group of mares. “Twilight, you must know I simply cannot allow you to head out there alone! And I’m sure the boys here would love to lend a helping hoof. Isn’t that right, boys?”

“Well, see,” said one stallion, struggling to free his ear from the mare’s grip. “I would, but I got this limp from an old football injury, so…”

“Yeah, and I’m allergic to having all the love sucked out of my soul,” another chimed in.

“I’m lactose intolerant!”

“I-I always thought of myself as more a lover than a fighter anyway…”

“I have an overactive bladder.”

Stomping her hoof, Rarity turned on the small group and pressed her muzzle right against a random stallion’s nose, glaring into his eyes with flames crackling behind her pupils. ”Right!?”

The stallion swallowed. “I…I suppose I can try to stay off the hoof…”

“I guess getting the love sucked right out of your soul doesn’t sound like it would hurt that much, if you don’t think too hard about it…” the second chimed.

“What’re the odds they’ve got dairy-based attacks on them, anyway?”

“I guess I can always learn to love fighting…”

“I peed a little.”

“Rarity, Applejack, it’s great that you’re so concerned,” Twilight said reassuringly, squeezing each of her friend's shoulders and dragging them away before they could undermine their newfound friends’ stallionhoods completely. “But I really think a small group has the best chance at slipping away if things get too rough out there, and me and Rainbow would be the best at pulling off that escape.”

“Now just what’n the hay makes ya say that!?”

“Well, Rainbow is faster in the sky than you are on ground, Applejack,” Twilight said apologetically, squeezing her friends’ shoulders just a mite harder. “And Rarity, do you really have as much experience with teleportation spells as I do?”

The two mares stammered at that, trying to find some way to argue their friend down, but it was hopeless. Twilight was just too purely logical for them to find a hole in what she had said. Applejack and Rarity sighed. “Ah hate t’agree with ya, Twi, especially when it comes t’admitting Rainbow’s better’n me at somethin’.”

She noticed Rainbow’s mouth opening out the corner of her eye. ”Which don’t happen often!” The country pony hissed, glaring at her friend. Rainbow’s mouth shut again and formed into a haughty little smile.

“Well Twilight, you certainly know how to argue a mare down,” Rarity sighed.

Giving her friends one last squeeze and a hug, Twilight smiled and stepped away. “We’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

“C’mon, you’re talking about Equestria’s fastest pegasus and its most powerful unicorn here,” Rainbow grinned, giving Applejack a good punch to the shoulder and Rarity one last hug before trotting up to Twilight’s side. “What could possibly go…”

Twilight stuffed a hoof in her mouth before she could finish her sentence. “Really? After the hundreds of times things have fallen to pieces right after you said that, you’re seriously going to say it again?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and spat the hoof out. “Let’s just get going, Twi, Equestria isn’t gonna save itself.”

“Although Celestia knows that would be a nice change,” Twilight mused, nodding to her friend as they quietly slunk around a corner and out of the other ponies’ sight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost from the day they met at Rarity’s boutique, Petalgrown and Sprinkleshine had been the best of friends. Two years of sleepovers, lunch soirees, Pinkie parties, Friday Night Pizzas (half-cheese, half-daffodils, thank you very much) and narrowly avoiding certain doom at the hands/claws of the numerous creatures that liked to make Ponyville their stomping ground had served to solidify that bond. In fact, there were times when Petalgrown thought Sprinkles might want to make that bond into something more, but every single flirtatious flick of the tail, half-lidded stare over a shared milkshake, or invitation to the nearest spa was either ignored, or lost somewhere in translation.

At one point, Petalgrown had gone so far as to arrange a picnic just before sunset on Lover’s Hill. Surely, not even Sprinkles’ inherent obliviousness could overlook that. Oh, how wrong she’d been. There they were, resting on the side of a hill, a basket with a few glasses of wine between them, the sun disappearing just over the crest. Petals had looked at Sprinkles, and Sprinkles looked back. Both eyes went half-lidded. Somewhere far away, the violin music kicked into a higher tempo to indicate a huge turning point in their relationship.

And then Sprinkleshine had grabbed a tuna sandwich and shoved it in her friend’s mouth, claiming she had “looked hungry.”

Nonetheless, Petalgrown was a determined mare, and so when Rarity off-hoofedly mentioned a coming vacation to the Crystal Empire with her friends while working on an ever-so-revealing dress for some social soiree or another, Petalgrown had leapt on the idea like a lioness on a gazelle. She had bought the tickets north, booked a room at a hotel (with one king-sized bed, of course), and planned a romantic evening out to the Empire’s best tourist spots and fancy-pants restaurants for every night of the week she had planned there before even asking her friend if she had a week free to head to the Crystal Empire. In hindsight, she might have jumped the gun a little bit there. In any case, Sprinkles had replied with a passive “sure, why not,” and off they went in Petal’s last-ditch attempt at ever having more than a pleasant friendship with the other mare. This had to work, it just had to! An empire of crystals? In the middle of a sunny tundra? With romantic scenes and photo-worthy sights at just about every corner? How could Sprinkles possibly resist! There was no way it could fail!

So of course, this was when fate had decided to drop a changeling invasion down on her head.

“Why me?” She lamented once the first black bodies crashed into the cobblestone just outside the hotel’s lobby. “Why does this always happen to me!?”

“That’s a bit selfish there, dontcha think, Petals!?” Sprinkleshine chimed as the pair hurried out of the lobby, the sound of crashing glass just behind their hooves, followed by that hideous hissing. Pounding through the metal door leading into the stairwell, the friends stomped up the stairs to their room in a wild panic just as a green bolt lit up the wall behind them. Dragging her friend along, Sprinkleshine blew through the door to the second floor and slammed it shut behind her.

“I-I mean, this is happening to me too!” She panted.

“I know, Sprinkles,” Petalgrown rolled her chartreuse eyes and checked on the singed hairs in her curly, red mane. “It’s just that I really wanted this vacation to be something…special for us, y’know!?”

Sprinkleshine turned to her friend, her goldenrod eyes shimmering. “I think I do.”

Petalgrown’s heart soared with hope, if only to take a break from beating in sheer, adrenaline-fueled terror. “You do!?”

“Yeah,” Sprinkleshine smiled. “I was hoping it could be a nice, relaxing week with my best friend in the whole wide world!”

“Ah,” Petalgrown deadpanned and leaned against one of the room doors. “I guess that’s all I was hoping for too.” Yup. All hope was lost. She was going to die alone, and judging by the changelings shooting around outside, that would be much sooner than she’d ever thought.

“Hey, look on the plus side, Petals! I think we’re safe now!” Sprinkleshine beamed.

Petalgrown face-hoofed, and Sprinkles frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“As if things couldn’t get much worse, you have to go and tempt fate like that?”

“Petals,” Sprinkleshine smiled and shook her head. “You don’t honestly believe in that superstition, do you?”

As if to argue Petalgrown’s point, the window at the end of the hallway suddenly exploded inward, a tall, lanky changeling landing just inside, facing the mares. “Forgot changelings could fly, did we, little ponies?” He hissed.

Petalgrown glared at her friend. “Oh hush, this proves nothing,” Sprinkleshine replied as she reared back and bucked her way through one of the hotel room doors, hurrying inside with Petalgrown right on her hooves. Of course, bucking a door in immediately presented the problem of sealing it again once they were through, but Sprinkles seemed to have it covered once she slammed the door shut in the changeling’s face and braced herself against the frame.

“Come out now and make it easy on yourselves!” The changeling screamed in between slamming himself against the door, the wood splintering with each fresh blow. “We control the city as it is!”

“Gosh, I can’t believe you did it again!” Petalgrown grumbled.

“Did what again?”

“Told me I was being crazy and delusional!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at the other mare. “That’s the exact same thing you said when I told you the changelings were probably preparing another attack somewhere, and you didn’t believe me! You always do that, Sprinkles! You dismiss everything I say just because it sounds weird!”

The changeling bashed his head right through the door, his fangs snapping just short of closing around Sprinkle’s throat, who threw herself against it as hard as she could. “Now? You seriously want to do this now!?”

“Yes! Or, no, it’s…I don’t know!” Petalgrown rubbed her head, her eyes clenching shut. “It’s wrong, it’s all going wrong now!”

“Hey, stay with me Petals!” The other mare shouted, her form trembling against each fresh hit. “We’re gonna get through this, and we’re gonna do it together, alright? But I need you to stay focused!”

Petals’ eyes opened, her confusion draining away. All at once, her mind transformed itself into a sharpened razor of clarity, allowing her to sit up and gaze at her friend. Funny, that always seemed to happen around her: just last week, the mare had shown up on Sprinkle’s doorstep in tears, the dress she had picked up from Rarity’s less than a month before in tatters, victim to a horrifying incident involving Pinkie’s pet alligator, an overzealous filly on a scooter, and a rubber chicken. Yet it only took a few moments of comfort and a couple reassurances from the other mare that Miss Rarity would only be too happy to fix it up good as new for her (“She’s the Element of Generosity, remember, Petals? I mean, come on!”) to lay all her fears to rest and replace her calm. What other pony could do that besides Sprinkleshine the pony? Never mind the way Petals shivered right before the feeling of calm materialized, so long as Sprinkleshine was there, Petalgrown could get through anything.

“And-and I need you, Sprinkles,” Petalgrown whispered.

The other mare’s ears perked up. “Wha-what was that?”

Swallowing her fear, the mare on the ground glared up at her friend. Now may not have been the best time for a confession of love, but darnit, this was probably going to be her last chance! Standing up, Petalgrown trotted right up to Sprinkles and gazed into her eyes. “I said: Sprinkleshine, I-“

Just then, the bay windows on the other side of the room crashed open, two changelings buzzing in with their fangs bared. One perched itself atop the quaint oak cabinet set aside for guests’ clothes, the other slamming onto the Queen-sized mattress, his hooves muddying the plain, cotton comforter.

“Of course,” Petalgrown groaned. “Of course I can’t even get that!”

“You’ve given us quite a bit of trouble, ponies,” the changeling on the bed hissed. “Time to give up now.”

“Over my dead…” Sprinkleshine started, only to be silenced by a green bolt of energy.

“Sprinkles!” Petalgrown gasped as her friend dropped to the floor, eyes rolling up. Sobbing, Petalgrown cradled her friend’s head in her lap as the changelings advanced, the door finally giving way and collapsing against the one in the hallway’s attacks.

“No, no, please,” the mare gasped as Sprinkleshine’s tongue lolled out, her eyes still looking dead and cold as they slowly slid shut. The panic came roaring back like a tidal wave, sweeping Petalgrown up in its grasp once again as the changelings closed in. The room seemed to spin, the air suddenly growing unbearably stuffy and hot despite the gaping window. Petalgrown gripped her friend as hard as she could. “Please, please, SOMEPONY HELP!”

The changeling on the bed flittered next to her. “Enough!” He barked, knocking her to the ground with a punch to the jaw. Petalgrown coughed as the changeling started barking orders: “Lieutenant! Secure the mares!”

“Yes, sir!” The changeling on the cabinet flittered over to Petalgrown and secured her hooves as she gazed woozily around, the room sliding in and out of darkness. As the first spurts of goo emanated from the changeling’s horn, she suddenly bolted upright and tried to run away, her mind consumed with panic, only to trip over the bindings on her forehooves.

“Silly pony,” the changelings’ apparent leader snickered as the soldier from the hallway set to work securing Sprinkleshine. “We’ve already won this battle. You and your kin belong to us now.”

Petalgrown looked over to Sprinkles’ unconscious body as she was hauled up by her hooves, suspended upside-down in mid-air as her mouth was gagged shut with another spurt of goo. “Nuh-noo,” she whimpered as a similar gag was placed over her mouth.

“Uh, commander?” The changeling near her friend said, the chitin over one of his eyes raised in confusion.

“Yes, private, what is it?”

“There’s something…off about this pony,” the soldier replied, studying Sprinkleshine like a scientist finding some new sub-species of monarch butterfly.

“Off?”

“Can’t quite put my hoof on it,” the changeling leaned in close to Sprinkleshine’s face, their noses nearly touching. Ignoring Petalgrown’s muffled demands to leave her alone; he looked into the mare’s face, turning it over in his hooves. “Something about her emotions, though, it’s just not quite…”

Suddenly, a purple flash lit up the entire room, blinding everyone. Once the spots left her eyes, Petalgrown gazed up at the familiar face of the town librarian, standing triumphantly on the bed. “Leave those ponies alone!” The lavender unicorn barked, unleashing a flurry of wild bolts from her horn. Regaining their marbles, the changelings replied with a few barely-aimed bolts of their own, which she dodged effortlessly, tucking and rolling on the other side of the bed like a gymnast.

“Keep ‘er pinned!” The commander screamed. “Don’t let up! Keep her…”

A bolt of rainbow burst through the shattered remnants of the window, knocking the changelings off their hooves. Before any could recover, the town’s Wonderbolt-in-training smashed her hooves into each of their faces, back-flipping off the commander’s head to bring her hooves down on the lieutenant’s, finishing off with a spinning hoof kick to the private’s jaw.

“RAINPHOW! TIYIGHT!” Petalgrown gasped.

“Hmm? Oh, Petalgrown!” Rainbow Dash said delightedly as Twilight walked out from behind the bed and peeled the gag off, checking their fellow Ponyvillean over. “Fancy meetin’ you here!”

“Celestia above, I am so happy to see you!” Petalgrown gushed. “Who knows what they were gonna do to us!?”

“Prolly drag you off and drain the love right out of your heart,” Rainbow shrugged.

“Rainbow, a bit of sensitivity, please!” Twilight glared at her friend, before turning back to the mare bound on the floor. “Now, just hold steady, we should have you free in no time…”

“HEY! What’s goin’ on up there!?” A changeling’s multi-layered voice barked up the stairwell.

“Oh good, because it looks like no time is just what we have!” Petalgrown groaned.

“Sweet Celestia…okay…” calming herself, Twilight focused her magic on the bonds around Petalgrown’s forehooves, a beam of light washing around them. They glowed warmly, but didn’t budge.

“T-Twilight?” Petalgrown asked fearfully.

“I’m trying, but…it’s resisting me…” the mare gasped.

Gazing at the shattered door worriedly, Rainbow set to work trying to chew Sprinkleshine’s bonds off, bracing her hooves against the trapped mare’s shoulders as she pulled, but to no avail. “Yeah, Twi? This isn’t working.”

“The bonds must have an inherent sturdiness against anyone but a changeling trying to remove them!” Twilight gasped. “Fascinating…”

“Whoever’s up there, we’re coming up!” The voice returned, hissing up the stairs.

“Can we continue the science experiment somewhere else, poindexter? This whole floor’s gonna be crawling with changelings in no time.” Rainbow said, shifting uneasily from hoof to hoof, trying not to look as nervous as she felt.

“Okay, okay, um…” Twilight bit her lip. “Well, I could try something I’ve been working on, but it hasn’t been tested yet…”

“Whoever you are, you’re in a lot of trouble!” The voice came again, joined by a few sets of hooves clopping up the stairs. “Just give up now!”

“Whatever it is, just do it, Twi!” Rainbow gasped.

“Okay…” closing her eyes, Twilight focused her magic into her horn, little bolts of static crackling off it. The air in the room seemed to charge up, making everypony’s fur stand on end as Twilight opened her eyes, revealing big, white portals of pure power. With a loud thud, a ball of pure, white energy burst from her horn, washing over everyone in the room.

“What’s…GWAH!” The voice came back again before falling oddly silent as the well of energy echoed throughout the entire building.

Her horn smoking, Twilight opened her eyes again. “Well, glad to see that worked out,” she said with a little smile.

Rainbow blinked the spots from her eyes, then looked at the bed and gasped. “Twilight…”

“I know, pretty powerful, right? I based it off of Shining Armor and Cadence’s love magic: you know, what they used to repel the changelings in Canterlot?”

“Twilight…” Rainbow repeated.

“Still, tweaking it to knock changelings unconscious was no easy task, but I think the results speak for…”

“TWILIGHT!”

“What?” The lavender unicorn looked at her friend and finally realized she wasn’t the one Rainbow was gaping at. Eyes wide in horror, mouth agape, the pegasus raised a hoof and pointed behind the unicorn. A chill running up her spine, Twilight finally turned to see what all the fuss was about.

A changeling lay in the spot where Sprinkleshine had been, still unconscious, chest slowly rising and falling. The changeling was obviously female, with long eyelashes beneath her black, chitin-covered eyelids and a little fin that poked up between her ragged ears. Her mouth dropped open, revealing a pair of nubby, rather unthreatening fangs. Petalgrown looked at the unconscious figure in absolute horror, her pupils occupying nearly the entirety of her eyes.

“Oh…my…” Twilight managed to croak.

“Sp-Sprinkles…” Petalgrown gasped.

Snapping out of her stupor, Twilight gripped the mare. “We need to go now; that spell won’t keep those changelings down forever.”

Petalgrown gave her a haunted look, her head slowly swiveling to look at the lavender unicorn. “W-we need to bring her along,” she rasped.

“That’s…” Twilight sighed, biting her lip. “…risky.”

“I don’t care! She’s the only one who knows where the real Sprinkles is!” Petals screeched, her voice edging on hysterics. “Right now, the real Sprinkleshine is scared and alone and probably locked up somewhere, and this thing is the only one who knows where!”

Twilight and Rainbow Dash shared uneasy looks, Rainbow shrugging helplessly. “I still don’t think…”

“Please,” Petalgrown gasped, her jaw working up and down as she hunted for something else to say, only to come up empty. So she just looked hopelessly at the changeling laid out on the floor and repeated herself: “Please…”

“I-uh…ah…” Twilight massaged her temples with the tips of her hooves. I’m going to say yes, aren’t I? She sighed. It was utterly inevitable, really. Petalgrown was right: this changeling was their best shot at saving an innocent pony from the clutches of the enemy, and as somepony who’d just risked her life rushing into an enemy-occupied hotel to save a total stranger, it would be hypocritical of her to ignore that. “Okay, we need to move fast.”

“We can use the bedsheets to keep it tied,” Rainbow shrugged.

Moving frantically, Petalgrown descended on the bed and tore the sheets off in her teeth, twirling them together to form a short length of rope, her breath coming in short gasps. Twilight easily looped the makeshift bindings through the holes on each of the changeling's legs, knotting it before securing the prisoner's muzzle shut with a twisted pillowcase.

"Okay," Rainbow said, tossing the changeling over her back. "We good?"

"Huh-whoever's up there...we're gonna..." that hissing, multi-layered voice appeared again.

"We're good," Twilight said, gathering the other ponies close around her as her horn flickered with another teleportation spell, filling the room with a blinding light before the three mares all vanished, along with their changeling prisoner.

Chapter XIV: Equestria Arrives

Celestia glared at the maps unfolded on the table before her. A gust breezed through the tent’s flaps, a few flurries blowing along the ground and sweeping a few icy tendrils of air up her back. She didn’t shiver.

“Princess,” one of her Solar Guards entered and bowed, taking stock of the tent. For the abode of Canterlot Royalty, one couldn’t get much simpler: it was just a large tent, big enough for her to stand on her hind legs without scraping the tip of her horn against the fabric, with a heavy table setup in the middle, next to a few trunks of extra supplies.

Sighing, the Princess lowered her forehooves from the table and turned to the guard. “Report, if you please,” she said, her royal manners somehow not suffering from being in the middle of the largest military campaign in recent Equestrian history.

Still saluting, the guard stepped inside, pulling his military-issue parka tight around his body as he dropped the scrolls in his grip. “More maps of the Crystal Empire from the Canterlot Archives, Princess: looks like these have the detail on the market district you were searching for.”

“Ah yes, perfect,” she mused, adding the scrolls to the steadily-growing pile on her table. “Now, any reports on the siege?”

“Yes, ma’am: we have secured all main exit points and have pegasi patrols circling overhead. Nothing will get in or out without our knowing it.”

“And…” her voice tightened slightly before she said the word, as if just saying it might cause her to bring the sun itself down to scorch the planet clean. “…the changelings?”

“They’ve already secured the city, Princess,” he sighed, staring at the ground dejectedly. “We’ve spotted fortifications going up within the castle gates, and they appear to have sentries watching the walls and skies.”

“They’re doing what we’ve done,” she snorted, turning back to the table and glaring down at one of her maps. By the look of her, one would think she was trying to stare a hole through one of the crumbling pieces of parchment. “Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.”

“There’s more, Princess,” the guard added. “The changelings left something in the middle of one of the city’s drawbridges. It appears to have been meant for you.”

Arching an eyebrow, Celestia turned as the guard held up a small object, shaped like a beetle with an ominously green, glowing body. “It’s been tested?”

“Yes’m,” the guard nodded. “We tried our best to scan it for any traps; the unicorns say its magical signature is too low to pose any threat to one of your power, although…we never were able to get inside.”

“Why not?”

“It…” he bit his lip nervously. “It appears to be keyed to your magic specifically. It will only open if your solar magic is used to open it.”

“Of course,” she gave a quick chortle and shook her head as she lifted the little object up in her magic, turning it over. All horrors and war crimes aside, she had to hoof it to Chrysalis: the old wench had style. “Guard, remain outside. If I am incapacitated in any way, shape, or form, I fully expect you to inform my High Generals.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the guard kneeled before trotting out, standing vigil at the tent’s entrance. Celestia shivered and placed the object on the table before her, its green carapace shimmering in the light from the sputtering candles on the table.

Carapace… she grimaced at the thought that the word had come to her, but there it was. The damned thing on the table in front of her looked just like a bug, so what other word could she have used for it? Well, let’s see what the evil wench has for me this time…

Tapping her horn against the small, green body, Celestia listened as a few gears whirred into place, a couple pins dropping into their holes. All at once, the thing sprang open, parting down the middle. The body separated just like the wings on a beetle, its two halves swinging away to reveal a tiny ball of light, projecting a shimmering beam upwards. She took a step back, not out of shock, but out of caution. It wasn’t needed, as a few words in shimmering green text appeared in the beam, hovering in front of her eyes. The message was short, simple, and curt, as could be expected of the changelings:

SUPPLY CARAVANS WILL BE ALLOWED IN ONCE DAILY

0600 HOURS

PONIES ON THEM WILL BE SEARCHED AND RELEASED

WILL SEND ENVOYS TO NEGOTIATE SUPPLIES AND TERMS

WE HAVE THE NIGHT PRINCESS

WE HAVE THE ELEMENT BEARERS

WE HAVE THE CRYSTAL HEART

DO NOT TEST US

The moment Celestia’s magenta eyes scanned the last word, the light vanished and the beetle snapped shut. A moment later, it was gone, melting into a sizzling pile of goo that evaporated within seconds. Celestia took a deep breath, inhaling slowly, then exhaling through her nose. “GUARD!” She barked.

The guardstallion practically materialized just within the tent’s entrance, hoof already raised to his brow in salute. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Gather my High Generals, we’re going to need a tribunal started five minutes ago,” she stated, her manners finally starting to pack their bags and head south for warmer weather.

“Yes, ma…“

“In addition, have every unit commander work out rotating shifts for their unit. I want every one of them capable of presenting at least five extra soldiers every morning at 0500 hours, sharp.”

“Yes, m…“

“And contact the quartermasters attached to each supply company. I want a tally of every single spare MRE, water canteen, antibiotic dose, anything we can conceive of that a regular, civilian-packed city might possibly need, as well as wagons enough to transport them all, and I want that tally on my desk by sunset.”

“Yes…“

“And send couriers to Canterlot. Tell them we need a steady chain of extra supplies traveling here ASAP. I don’t care how they work it out, just tell them we need convoys bound for the Crystal Empire in motion by this evening, and make sure they know this is an order directly from me.”

The guard and the Princess stared at one another for a few moments, the guard running his tongue along his lips as he raised an eyebrow expectantly. Celestia rolled her eyes. “That will be all.”

“Yes, ma’am!” He barked before rushing through the tent flap and into the cold, perpetual winter that dominated the North.

The Princess sighed again and swooned the table, her back hunched, her eyes holding a steely glare to them. Her ivory-white feathers quivered with each breath as she rested her head in her hooves, careful not to put any stress on her horn. Finally, she tapped a hoof against the wood of the table three times, gave a short pause, and then knocked twice.

Slowly, one of the chests next to her bench creaked open, the old hinges squeaking. A green cloud of mist poured out as a long, snake-like form materialized from inside, humming an odd little tune that escalated as he stretched himself out, eventually stepping into the light with his hands held over its head. “Da-da-da-DAAAAAA! You found A BOYFRIEND! Press START for sex and snuggles!”

The Princess deadpanned completely. The draconequus arched an eyebrow, and then uncoiled himself to swoop down next to her ear. “Just so you know, by ‘start’ I meant my penis,” he whispered.

“Report,” she said with an exhausted sigh, her eyes going half-lidded just to hammer home that she was in absolutely no mood for his games.

Discord’s smile faded. “Right,” he said, straightening up, popping every bone in his spine at once. Suddenly, his usually naked form was clad in a long, blue jacket with frilly, yellow shoulder pads and blanketed in medals that had such descriptive pictures as ice cream cones and clasped monkey hands. Donning a pith helmet and covering his face in camo paint, the draconequus looked his lover right in the eye.

“Ma’am, them thar bug bastards have done taken the whole gosh-durned city. Ah cain’t, fer the life a’ me, find a single weak point in their defenses. That thar bug bitch has this place locked down tighter’n yer mama’s pussy the day after yer daddy buys her a set a’ golf clubs fer her birthday.”

“Were you able to enter the city proper?”

“Naw. Erry gate’s got a whole mess a’ magic detection spells on it, mostly alarm-type spells. Felt too risky t’even hang out that long.” He sighed and snapped his fingers, the helmet, jacket, and camo paint vanishing in a sudden burst of yellow light and sparkles. “Not to sound like I was afraid, perish the thought! But I didn’t want to risk missing something and triggering an alarm. I know I’d be perfectly capable of defending myself no matter the situation, but the girls…the hostages…”

“No no, I understand,” Celestia nodded sagely, her eyes closing. “You made the right choice. It would have been foolish to risk the safety of the hostages for the sake of a recon mission.”

To the outside observer, the Princess would have appeared to be the picture of strength: head held high, eyes closed in contemplation of their next move. It didn’t fool the draconequus one bit. He caught the mild quiver in her wings, the tiny glisten near her eyelashes that could only be tears, the near-imperceptible hitch in her voice.

“Tia,” his voice grew surprisingly gentle as he slowly laid a bear paw against her face. She nuzzled into his touch, eyes opening to reveal tears welling up. “She’s going to be okay. They all are. Chrysalis may be an evil bitch bent on global domination, but she isn’t stupid enough to try and shorten an Alicorn’s Christmas card list like that.”

“I know, I just…” her breath came out in quick, shaky gasps as she wrapped her forelegs around his midsection, sinking to the bench with him as tears continued to soak his chest fur.

“I know,” he whispered, stroking a talon through her mane, which slowly dimmed with the setting sun.

Chapter XV: Flutters 'n Switch

Switch sighed and looked himself over in the mirror, taking a few deep breaths. Sure, he looked scary: his chitin shone intimidatingly, and he’d sharpened his horn to a supremely deadly point, but this was still an Element of Harmony he was dealing with. She was one of the six most powerful ponies in Equestria, and while she may have been a scared little pile of yellow butter before, these six had almost single-hoofedly turned back the changeling invasion of Canterlot with nothing but their own, raw fighting skills. There was no such thing as being too cautious around one of them.

Checking to ensure his scar was displayed prominently, Switch nodded to himself in the mirror and practiced his standard “intimidation” looks. There was the “angry bear” (snout scrunched, fangs bared), the “waiting cobra” (angry glower with upper lip snarled), the “stone-cold badass” (little smirk with snout turned upwards, which wasn’t much of an intimidating look but he always loved to flash this face whenever he was about to launch into a fight). Okay. This was it. He was ready.

He crossed the room to the large cocoon set against one wall, the distinctly pony-like form floating around inside, hooves over her eyes, just as he’d left her. He scowled. Sure, she looked frightened, but he too was familiar with the book of deception. This could very well be chapter three, section five: feigning weakness to drop the enemy’s guard.

With a flick of his head, his horn sliced right through the front of the tissue, the goo still held in place by the walls of the cocoon as its facade fell away like a flower in bloom. A big, green, gooey flower that smelt like somepony’s B.O.

The pegasus known as “Fluttershy” cringed at the fresh exposure to light, shivering at the bottom of the goo pool. Summoning up “waiting cobra,” he hissed at her: “Get out.”

The pegasus shivered harder and curled up into an even tighter little ball. For an instant, Switch relaxed, but then the scowl resurged. Don’t fall for it, Switchy, one slip-up and far more than yourself will be in danger. “I said get up!” He hissed, reaching into the goo and pulling the pegasus to the surface.

She whimpered and shivered, just a bundle of trembling feathers in his hooves now. He sighed: either this was the real deal, or she was a better actress than any changeling he’d ever come across. At the very least, he might as well play along for a while. “Please,” he added.

The pegasus stopped shivering for a quick moment and slowly pulled her face out of her hooves, peering at him from just over her curled forelegs. His eyes widened. It has to be a trap, he mused. Nothing is that cute by accident. No one is hardwired to be that adorable.

Regaining his composure, he swiftly reapplied a layer of goo to her wings while she whimpered. “Do not try to escape,” he stated flatly. “We are in complete control of the city. You wouldn’t make it far, not without your wings, and this will make double sure of it.”

With one, deft movement, he reached into a hidden spot next to the cocoon, producing a leather collar with a padlock that he quickly locked around her neck. Tears welled up in the pegasus's eyes as he affixed the collar, and Switch scrunched up the chitin on his forehead, taking note of the salty smell that entered the air. Tears, and a lot of them, he realized. Aw jeez, was she crying the entire time!? Now that’s commitment to a part!

Acting or not, it wouldn’t do if this pony dropped dead of dehydration. Not when she had a job to do. Without another word, he backed away from the cocoon to the private bathroom in the crystalline structure’s side, retrieving a glass with water. No longer to his surprise, when he returned with the glass hovering alongside him, the pegasus had curled up into a little, shivering ball of feathers on the ground.

Sighing, Switch reached down with the glass and lightly tapped the side of her head. She looked up, still quaking, a few tears trickling down her cheeks. “Drink,” he stated. Eyes wide, she looked to him, then to the glass, giving it a little sniff. His eyes rolled. “Yeah, because if I wanted to kill somepony who was restrained and half my size, I would totally use poison after freeing them from a cocoon built for the express purpose of holding them in one place. C’mon, drink.”

Still shivering, she slowly puckered her lips out and allowed him to tilt the glass back, eventually letting her take it in her hooves. She emptied the glass in no time at all, panting when it was emptied. “Thank you,” she whispered as she hoofed the glass back.

His eyes widened. That’s the first time…dangit all, Switch, get a hold of yourself! Regaining his composure, the changeling just nodded as he set the glass down. “Your cocoon can handle most of your bodily needs, but it can only do so much if you cry out half the salt and water in your body over the course of a couple hours. So go easy on the crying, yeah?”

She nodded ever-so-slightly, her head bobbing so mildly he would have missed it if he wasn’t looking right at her. “Okay,” he sighed, heading over to the one door leading out of the room and nudging it open. “Now, c’mon: there’s work to be done.”

Rising to trembling hooves, the pegasus followed the changeling down the hall, trotting past windows being sealed over with more of the green changeling gunk. Fluttershy’s eyes drifted away from him, watching the changelings work on the window in awe.

“Keep up, please!” Switch called over his shoulder. She looked to him, then back to the window, where a changeling peering in hissed at her. With a frightened squeak, she took off down the hall and nearly crashed headlong into her captor, her eyes squeezed shut in panic. A few inches short of a collision, though, he lifted her up in his magic, allowing her hooves to gallop futilely against air for a while before she finally thought to open her eyes. He glared up at her, summoning at least a bit of anger as he tried to decide if that really was a panicked run or a clever attempt at escape.

“I told you not to try escaping,” he growled.

“I-I wasn’t…”

“Save it. You’re just lucky we’re already here,” he hissed, opening the door nearest to him and shoving her in. He listened to her whimper in the darkness for a moment before slipping in next to her, flicking on the lights. Her eyes widened at the sight of dozens of little green mounds, with large craters at their center. Throbbing with a strange life of their own, they almost looked like…

“Welcome to the Nursery,” Switch droned, grabbing a tether from off the well and adding it to the padlock around her neck, ensuring it clicked shut. She never even noticed; she was too transfixed by the changeling-styled cribs lining the walls. He turned away from her for a second, giving the bolt securing her tether to the wall a few tugs. “You will be working here for the duration of our occupation, feeding the hatchlings with your own, natural love. Now, I don’t want to hear about you not ‘being willing’, or calling them disgusting little…”

“OOoooohhhhhhhh, look at you!” She gasped. He whirled in place just in time to watch her rocket across the room, straining the tether to its greatest length, and scooping up the nearest hatchling in her forehooves. The tiny, black bundle was wrapped in a baby-blue blanket, its little face exposed as it slept blissfully, a little nub of a horn poking out of its forehead.

“You are just too cute!” The pegasus gasped, nuzzling the baby changeling. One of its tiny, pupil-less eyes poked open, and the little bundle peered at her. She gasped almost ecstatically. “He’s looking at me! Do you see this!? He’s looking at me and he’s so adorable!”

Switch watched, completely dumbstruck, as the pegasus shivered again, this time with the tell-tale sign of a changeling actively feeding on its prey. Yet still, she held the tiny bundle as if it were her own son being dragged away in a flash flood, love just pouring from her heart until the changeling yawned, its nubby fangs exposed.

“Oh, you tired, sweetie?” She cooed, giving the changeling a tiny kiss on the forehead, right at the base of its horn-nub, before laying it back in its crib. “Sweet dreams, little one, sweet dreams.”

Her ears perked at the sound of another little, black body stirring. “And who is this?” She asked, turning to scoop up another bundle. This changeling cooed and burped, a bubble of spittle forming in its mouth as its little eyes locked with hers. The high-pitched squeal she promptly emitted would be studied for years afterwards, baffling the greatest scientific minds who, until that moment, thought they had discovered the precise range of frequencies a pony’s throat was physically capable of producing.

She went on like that for a solid twenty minutes, refusing to slow down until every hatchling was tucked in with its belly full and its little forehead smooched. She finally trudged back to the large changeling standing guard at the door, his eyes still wide in pure shock, and nearly collapsed, saved from slamming face-first into the ground only by his quick reactions, catching her in his hooves.

“Jeez,” he gasped, hurriedly unlocking the tether around her neck and tossing her over his back. To his surprise, one of her eyes slowly rolled open and gazed up into his, her pupil narrowing as she reached a hoof out. For a moment, he thought she might be trying to escape, only to lay those thoughts to rest once she reached out to one of the cribs and started dragging herself towards it.

“I…need…to make sure…this one…got tucked in…right…” she panted, barely able to talk from the exhaustion and sheer effort it took to peek into the crib and gaze down at the little face within. Switch’s face flushed a deep fuchsia and he jostled her loose.

“C’mon, you need rest,” he said gently before hurrying out the door with her still clinging to his back, galloping down the hall and back to her holding room. Quickly, he dropped her into her cocoon and sealed it shut again, his breath coming as quick, short gasps once he had her safe inside her holding cell. He watched her silhouette in the goo as its hooves curled up beneath her chin and she fell fast asleep, her breathing slowing immediately.

“So…cute…” he managed to gasp before dropping to the floor, clutching at his chest and twitching violently. “HNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHH…”

Author's Notes:

Never underestimate a weaponized Flutters.

Chapter XVI: Pinks and Bait

Pinkie braced her hooves against the bottom of her prison and kicked off, swimming through the goop to the top of the tiny cocoon and circling back down again. It wasn’t much, but it was the only way she could work off some of her energy. Oh man, being cooped up in such a teeny-tiny prison was ssooooooooo boring! How could anypony be expected to hold still in a tiny little green thing when her friends could be in serious danger!? Still, she wasn’t trying to break out; she’d long given up on that. This cocoon thing was just too super-sticky and bouncy for her to have a hope of ever getting out by herself. So for now, she would just have to wait, no matter how totally super boring it was! Seriously! Life-threatening danger aside, there was nothing to do in there except float, jump around, and make spit bubbles in the goop, and that last one got boring ages ago! Boring, and possibly life-threatening. She wasn’t sure what the spit-to-goop ratio was to keep her alive, but she sure didn’t want to test it.

A black shape filled the front of the pod, blocking out her vision. Oh, thank Celestia! Finally, something was happening! Even if that something might be her captors dragging her off to some unspeakable torture, so long as it was some form of input, she didn’t care.

The goop peeled away in front of her, and she burst out, breathing the fresh air greedily, her lungs drinking it in until spots formed in front of her eyes. Still gasping, she slumped to the floor, panting heavily, her eyes blearily looking through the hazy light. A smaller changeling stood over her, reared up on his hind hooves, forehooves raised and poised as if he were about to pull off some karate.

“You should…really…stick some...air holes in….these things…” she moaned.

The changeling hesitated, then slowly descended back on all fours. “Air holes are unnecessary: the goop supplies all your body’s needs, pony,” he hissed, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Still…real air…is better,” she gasped, heaved, then suddenly bolted to her hooves. “So hi there! I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name?”

The sudden shift in tone nearly knocked the changeling right off his hooves. He shook his head to clear it, and glared down at her. “Names are not important, pony: I’m the guard here to make sure you don’t try anything funny, and that’s all you need to know.”

She grinned. She’d been hoping he’d say something like that. “Oh, do you not have a name? That’s super-super sad! I heard some ponies say changelings don’t have names and I thought: how could they not have names? I mean, really, could you imagine how you’d call someling over? It’d be all: ‘oh, hey there, you! No, not you, the other you! The one with the black chitin! No, not you!’ I mean, it’d be super-duper confusing, just…”

“Bait!” The changeling screamed, jamming a hoof into her mouth as the other clamped over one of his ears. “It’s Bait, alright!? My name is Bait!”

She smiled at that and spat his hoof out. “Okey-dokey! Hi, Bait!” She extended one pink foreleg in greeting.

He squinted at her, glaring her way as he backed up against a wall, pulling a small object down from a hook by the door. “Don’t think I’m that easily fooled, pony.”

“What’s that?” She asked innocently.

“I’m here to make sure you don’t try anything funny,” he said, advancing on her with the little object in his magic’s grip.

“Nothing funny!?” She gasped. “But…funny is all I do! Funny is my life! Funny would be my middle name if it wasn’t already Diane!”

He blinked, shook his head again. “Not that kind of funny! I just meant I’m here to make sure you don’t try to escape or blow something up!”

“Oh, really?” She beamed at him. “A li’l changeling like you is supposed to keep me here? Like when I babysit the Cakes’ twins?”

He huffed at her, stomping his hooves and snorting. “I am not little! Besides, you shouldn’t underestimate little guys, especially if they’re as smart as me.”

“Really? Are you as smart as Twilight!? Or is it more like smart-aleck, because I’ve met a lot of stallions like that and they’re usually huge meanies,” she wrinkled her nose. “Well, I’ll tell you one thing, mister, just ‘cause you talk down to everypony doesn’t mean…”

“No! I meant…uh…you know what, why don’t I just show you?”

“Ooh, show me how?” She asked, bouncing up and down like a filly waiting for a treat, that constantly-fluffy mane bouncing with her.

“First, you gotta close your eyes,” he said, smiling reassuringly.

She paused at that and frowned, her mane finally taking a brief pause to catch its breath. “But why?”

Trying not to get distracted from the panting sound coming from the mare’s mane, the changeling scrambled for an answer. “It’s…a…surprise!”

“Surprise!? Oh man, I love surprises!” She gasped, resuming her hopping.

“I figured you did,” he replied, shaking his head in a way that mimicked an eye roll. “So close your eyes now, or you’ll spoil the surprise!”

“Okey-dokey!” She replied, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Now,” he pulled the thing from the hook out and held it in front of his body, close to the carapace of his chest. “Keep them closed, but stick out your tongue.”

Nodding in the darkness behind her eyelids, Pinkie obeyed, her tongue poking out just a bit between her lips.

“No, no, no! You’re gonna need to do better than that!”

She poked out her tongue a few inches further, eyes squinting with the effort. She heard his hoofsteps approaching on the floor. “Like thith?” She asked.

“A little further…”

She added a few more inches, her tongue poking out a good half-foot now.

“C’mon, I know you can do better! Show me whatcha got!”

Taking a deep breath, she extended her tongue out like a rolling tape measure, leaning forward until it finally ended with a little ‘k-chunk’ after 12 feet. “How’th thith!?”

“Perfect,” he hissed beside her. She smiled inwardly.

“Thucker,” she said before bringing her rear hooves up in a side kick, lashing out as her tongue rolled right back into her mouth. She grinned at the feeling of something soft connecting with her hoof, listening to a crash as it smashed against a far wall and rolled to the floor.

“Gotcha! I can’t believe you thought I was that…” she opened her eyes, and trailed off upon seeing a pillow lying where she’d expected an unconscious changeling. A simple message, drawn up in crayon, was taped to the front: ‘Nope.’

“…stupid…” she managed before something smacked against the back of her neck.

Pinkie looked up to find the changeling grinning down at her, hooves stuck to the ceiling, his fangs plainly visible, yet it wasn’t a predatory smile. It was more like a smile of victory. “Don’t feel too bad for yourself,” he chortled. “Most changelings would’ve fallen right into that, but I’m not most changelings.”

“How did…”

“Ventriloquism: just one of my many talents,” he replied, flittering back to the ground. “Among others, such as changeling magic.”

He tapped a hoof against the hardwood floor, and suddenly the blob on the back of her neck expanded, creeping across her back and encasing her entire body before hardening, leaving her as just a fossilized pink blob in the middle of a new, completely immobile prison. “Just a little precaution in case you wanna try any more funny business,” the changeling smiled, leaning against the pony-shaped, green-tinted-pink rock with pride. “One tap of my hoof and you lose any and all mobility. It has a pretty decent range, too: more than enough to encompass the city. So unless you think you’re in any shape to beat a marathon record, I shouldn’t have to point out how pointless trying to run would be.”

Another tap of his hoof, and the rock liquefied and retreated back into a little stone latched to her back. She gasped, and immediately craned her neck to scowl at the blob, setting to trying to gnaw it off. “Don’t think that’ll work, either,” he added. “The epoxy bonding it to you is stronger than any superglue. Only I can remove it without tearing the skin off your back. And don’t think knocking me out or killing me will fix anything: if I lose consciousness and you’re not in your pod, the blob will activate its ‘rock’ state automatically, and only I or another changeling can get you out of that.”

He smiled haughtily as she glared at him. “Really, it’d be in your best interest to make sure my heart remains beating,” he continued, studying his hoof with no small amount of pride. “So unless you wanna spend the rest of your days staring up into nothingness, probably acting as a piece of statuary in our beloved Queen’s throne room, you’ll do what I say.”

The pink mare glared up at her captor. He glared right back, meeting her eyes with that cocky little half-smile. “You’ve really thought this through, huh?” She asked.

“E-yup,” he replied, inadvertently copying one of the few stallions in Pinkie Pie’s life.

Suddenly, her glare softened right back into that bright, cheery smile. “Wow! You really are smart!” She gasped, springing back to her hooves.

“Um…” he said, taken aback by her compliment. “Th-thank you. You’re…uh…you’re not too bad yourself.”

“Oh, you,” she giggled, which earned an odd blush rising on his cheeks. “You’re the one who beat me at my own game! Hardly anypony’s done that before! Or…should I say anyling?”

“Um…whatever you want is good, I guess,” he shrugged, honestly unsure of how to respond. “You seem…pretty alright with being a prisoner.”

“Oh, that? I’ve been captured plenty of times,” she replied, those brightly-lit, baby-blue eyes locking with his as her voice continued in its sing-song tone: “It never sticks, though!”

“We’ll see about that,” he huffed, turning towards the door. “C’mon, I still gotta show you what your job’s gonna be.”

“Job? I already have a job, silly-billy! I’m a baker back in Ponyville!”

“We are well aware,” he replied, kicking the double-doors open and motioning for her to follow. “That’s why we figured you’d be best suited for this task.”

Curious, she followed the changeling through the double-doors and into a massive room. Tiled floors gave way to sleek, crystal-coated ovens, shelves, pantries and pans lining the walls, with numerous islands interspaced throughout holding cutting boards and cutlery. The Royal Kitchen! So that was where she was being held! The Crystal Palace itself! Oh man, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence would not be happy about this, wherever they were.

As happy that she was to finally see the inside of the kitchen (such a sight was forbidden to tourists, even personal guests of the royal couple), it came with the bitter reminder that the Crystal Empire had fallen, and now her fate, and the fates of all her friends, was entirely in the hooves of another Queen. A Queen who had not only expressed her hatred for the peace and harmony that drove all of ponykind’s actions, but had also tried to take them over by force on at least one occasion, brutally invading their lands during a wedding ceremony, no less. Still, losing hope wouldn’t do any good. The changeling next to her would probably just feed off of that, somehow.

“Our Queen has heard of your exemplary skills in baking,” he said, pulling one of the pantry doors open to reveal a mountain of flour bags. “She would like you to serve as her personal chef during our occupation of the city.”

“Wait, why does a changeling need food? Dontcha guys just feed on love?”

“Doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy a good cupcake or something every now and again,” he replied flatly.

“CUPCAKES!?” She rocketed up to him, appearing as a pink blur for a second as she zipped right up into his face. “You guys like cupcakes!?”

“It was just an example!” He replied, holding his hooves up defensively. “I’m pretty partial to them myself, but…”

“Oh man, we’ve got to make us some cupcakes!” She exclaimed, retrieving a pair of aprons from a hook on the wall: one a frilly pink with a large heart in the middle, the other plain with pinstripes. Tying the pink apron around herself, she promptly tossed the pinstriped one Bait’s way.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he said, snatching the apron out of mid-air. “What’s this for?”

“Well, how else are you gonna help me make this stuff without getting batter all over yourself, silly?” She giggled.

“Help?” He looked down at the apron. “I’m just supposed to supervise. Y’know: make sure you don’t try to poison anything?”

She gazed around a kitchen island at him, eyes wide, bottom lip quivering. “You think I’d do something like that?”

Bait shifted uncomfortably, averting the gaze. “I dunno…maybe…”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she laughed, shooting over to the pantry. “We’ve got a lot of work to do! And besides, what better way to make sure the food isn’t poisoned than to make it yourself?”

He opened his mouth to argue, and then closed it. He knew she was right. There was no arguing with that logic! Sighing, he tied the pinstripe apron around himself and followed the mare into the pantry, looking around for her. “Pinkie?”

“Here!” She cried cheerfully from the summit of flour-sack mountain, a good twenty feet in the air. “Wow, look at all this! This might just be enough!”

“Enough!?” He gasped, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. “We’re just baking for the Queen and some of her staff, you know that, right!?”

“Oh, I know!” She replied, letting out a quick, little yodel from the highest peak of the flour pile and planting a pink flag emblazoned with her cutie mark by her hooves. “But I’ve never gotten to bake for changelings before, or had so much supplies at hoof! We could run all sorts of baking experiments with this stuff!”

“All of this?” He whimpered, the mountain looming in his pale, flat eyes.

“Eyup,” she replied, skiing down to him and landing at his side. “Isn’t it wonderful? With this amount of supplies, we could probably keep experimenting and baking and baking and baking and we’d never, ever, ever have to stop!”

He looked at her smiling face, then up at the massive pile of flour. Somewhere within it, he could swear he heard a mountain goat bleat. “Sweet Chrysalis, what have I gotten myself into?”

Chapter XVII: Lulu 'n Chryssie

Chrysalis studied herself in the full-length mirror, admiring every crease of chitin and every mossy curl of hair held in between the mirror's gold-embossed frame. "This is how a Queen should look," she said with a small smile, admiring the slender, form-fitting dress she'd stolen from Princess Cadence - or, scratch that - former Princess Cadence's wardrobe. It was of Asian design, imported from Nippony: a silken, shimmering, green thing that matched her eyes almost like a mirror.

With a shimmer of her magic, the Queen bound her mane up in a neat bun to complete the look, finishing with a silver comb accessory from Cadence's bureau. A touch of nostalgia hit her, bringing up the memory of a similar time when she'd stood on the edge of victory, in the same pony's room, standing in the same pony’s place. A part of her wanted to break into song just for old time's sake.

"My Queen?" A changeling servant, dressed in a little something from the palace servants’ quarters, poked his little black head into the room, already bowed.

"Yes, minion, what is it?" She asked with a musical little hum, the contented smile of one who truly has just about everything she wants stretching her muzzle as she set to work on the great question of her age: which of these earrings goes best with this hair accessory? Because I love the accessory, but if I could find earrings that went with it...

"I-it's your - uh - dinner guest, madam," the servant replied, watching as his queen moved from ruby sapphires inlaid in gold to pink-hued diamonds with silver.

"Ah yes, the Princess, how is she?"

"She's being - resistive, your majesty."

"Is she now?" The Queen sighed; she really should have expected no less from the only other creature she knew of that had forced Celestia to her knees in a full-on confrontation.

"My Queen? The workers in the boutique have grown desperate. They've managed to keep the Princess contained for now, but..."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," the Queen reassured, turning away from the mirror at last and following her servant into the hall.

Princess Luna's room was just a couple hallways down, and Chrysalis raised an eyebrow at the sight. A couple dozen changelings had stacked themselves against the door, desperately throwing themselves against its pretty, pink frame to contain the Princess inside.

"Jeez, she's strong! I thought we drained her magic!" One of the changelings in the pile screamed, his voice strained.

"We did!" The changeling next to him grunted. "This is just her brute strength!"

"What!? While she's injured!? What does she do to work out, toss mountains around!?"

Another slam against the door ended the conversation, punctuating it with the sound of creaking wood and straining hinges and followed by the deep, voluminous sound of the Royal Canterlot Voice: "Release us now, cretins, and perhaps we shall show mercy to thee!"

"Oh dang, what happened to the unlucky bugs in there!?" Changeling Number One asked.

"Forget them, dude, it's everyling for himself now!" Number Two replied.

"Chrysalis above..."

"Yes?" The Queen asked with a smart little smile, striding into view with her head held high.

"Your majesty!" Every changeling in the pile gasped simultaneously, a few forgetting themselves and trying to bow for a moment before another hit from the other side of the door brought them back to reality.

“I heard there was a bit of trouble with one of our guests,” the Queen said, motioning to the door.

“Trouble?” One of the little changelings asked, scoffing with a toss of his hoof. The door buckled again, and he threw himself against it. “Why, there’s no trouble, your highness! Everything is absolutely under control!”

”Tremble with fear, mortals! Beg, scream, and cry for your very lives! For you have trifled with a goddess!”

“This is under control to you?” Chrysalis asked, motioning to the door.

“Oh, this? A minor setback! A tiny snag! A…”

”Little foals! Puny insects!” The next blow nearly finished the door off, a navy hoof punching through the wood and nearly decapitating the changeling. Chrysalis deadpanned as the little black creature slowly shimmied away from the extended hoof, which promptly retracted and was replaced by a large eye, once blue, now red with fury.

“Would you mind terribly if I lent a hoof before you were all vaporized?” The Queen asked politely.

“Oh, no need to bother yourself my Queen!” One changeling enthused.

“Surely, this matter isn’t worthy of your trifling with!” Another added.

“Everything is under control!”

“Just put your hooves up and relax, your highness!”

”Insignificant bugs!” Luna protested, another hoof slamming through the door, this time jamming right between the hind legs of one of the stallions, coming within an inch of permanently transforming him into a mare. Carefully, said stallion eased himself off the hoof, one of his hind legs pulling up over it and carefully shimmying away, as if the Princess’s hoof was a jet of white-hot flame. The others stared at him as if he’d just grown a griffon’s head spouting knock-knock jokes, then turned back to their sovereign, their hind legs all crossing subconsciously.

“But if you really must insist…”

“Surely you can handle this far more efficiently than we could, your majesty.”

“Obviously, your aid would make what could be a mildly complex job infinitely easier, your highness.”

“I peed a little.”

Rolling her eyes, the Queen scooped her subjects up in her magic and gently laid them all in a neat pile next to the door, immediately focusing on holding the splintered piece of wood in place. Her subjects meant well, but for pity’s sake, they didn’t have to nearly get themselves killed just so she could avoid chipping a hoof!

”Thy foul creatures! Thy wicked cretins! We shall see to it that…”

“Princess, enough!” The Queen barked, her face morphing from that gentle and reassuring smile she’d had for her subjects to a glare of pure authority. “How much longer do you plan on acting like an uncontrollable foal in the midst of a temper tantrum!?”

”A foal!? You dare call the Princess of the Night a foal! Thy foul wretch! We shall have…”

“Princess, you are acting like a foal! I let you out of your cocoon out of the good graces of my heart, and you plan on throwing that in my face!?” The Queen barked. “What are you going to do once you get out, eh? Take on all of my changelings by yourself, injured as you are!? And I suppose you’ll take me on as well, because that worked so well last time!”

Something hit the door again, but it was weaker, more resigned. It was followed by something sliding along the wood to the ground, hitting with a low thud. Chrysalis sighed with relief. The Princess had seen reason after all.

“Foul creatures,” the Queen heard the Princess mutter. “You shall pay for the pain you have caused here.”

“Not likely,” the Queen replied with a little smirk. “Maker above, I’d be surprised if you didn’t open up an injury or two with this little outburst.”

She was met with silence, long and steady. The Queen rolled her eyes again. That the Princess was silent for the first time since being let free of her cocoon could only mean one thing. “You did, didn’t you? You opened up your wounds again!”

“’Tis just a cut on our shoulder,” the Princess replied defensively, as if that were any better.

“’Tis a cut that will get infected if not treated,” Chrysalis replied, leaning her head against the door. “Princess, I need you alive to keep the spirits of these ponies high, or I will not be able to feed my Swarm, and we might get…desperate if that happens. Is that what you want? A desperate, unfed army and a defenseless civilian populace?”

A few more moments of quiet followed, the Queen holding her breath the entire time. Finally, what was left of the door creaked open. “Make haste with it, and let us be off,” the Princess grumbled from inside, and the changeling allowed a trembling sigh of relief to escape her lips.

Chrysalis eased the door open, carefully pressing through into the dressing room. She was nearly in awe at how much destruction the Princess had managed to wreak without any magic at her disposal. The heart-shaped mirror perched upon the wardrobe leaned on its side, half its lights shattered, and the walls were covered in various makeup and cosmetics from the drawers. A tornado couldn’t have made a finer mess, and she hadn’t even looked at the unfortunate changelings that had been caught up in the Alicorn’s rampage. At the very least they were still breathing, but every one of them looked like they’d just lost a fight with a manticore: one was draped from the blades of the ceiling fan, another laid against a wall with a tube of lipstick through one of his hoof-holes, pinning it in place (how in the hell a bit of lipstick could pound through a crystal-lined wall was anyone’s guess). Finally, there was the pair in the corner with...oh. Chrysalis had no idea the Princess could be so crude! She had to suppress a little giggle at the sight of a pair of unconscious changeling stallions spooning one another. The front changeling held the rear one's hoof in his grip, clasping it to his chest like a lover's forehoof. She couldn't see where the rear changeling's other hoof was, but she knew it couldn't be anywhere pleasant.

“Well?” Luna asked behind her. “You came in here for a reason. Finish it and let us be off.”

Grimacing at the fact that a six-foot-tall, blue, Alicorn princess had managed to sneak up behind her (was she that out of practice with deception!?), the changeling turned to the source of the voice. “You know, it could be considered quite rude to conceal oneself from…”

Chrysalis cut herself off. Luna stood before her in all her royal splendor. Her wings were tipped with silver bands that cut her ability to fly, but complemented her coat perfectly. Her body was clad in a dark dress: black as night, covered in silver sequins, and form-fitting enough to show off every curve of her well-toned body. The bit of green goo on the tip of her horn, meant to drain her magic, was made into the topper for a set of silver bands that ended near her forehead with a set of chains, strung along her hairline to mimic the Saddle-Arabian style and framing her face in such a way to draw the viewer to those wonderfully deep, blue eyes. All this in spite of the black eye and recently-cauterized bloody nose that marred an otherwise beautiful face.

“And just what are you staring at?” Luna barked.

Chrysalis shook her head, giving herself a little punch in the jaw to clear her mind. “Nothing you need to be concerned with, Princess,” she replied, looking the Alicorn over for any opened wounds, starting with her shoulder. “Just ensuring my underlings performed satisfactorily in making sure you were fit for a dinner with royalty.”

“Ah. And?”

“You are quite a bit less unattractive than you were in the cocoon, I will admit,” the Queen snorted with a sideways little smile, brushing the Luna’s feathers aside in her search for the open wound.

“Hmm,” Luna grunted, and then winced as Chrysalis moved a certain bundle of feathers.

“That it?” Chrysalis asked, and Luna nodded, her face holding at neutral, though one could easily tell she was biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out. Rolling her eyes, the changeling stepped back and eased her horn deep into the bushel of feathers, moving as carefully and cautiously as she could, trying to avoid touching any feathers if she could help it. A bit of the antiseptic goo spurted from her horn, and Luna allowed a tiny gasp to escape her mouth, imperceptible except for the little jolt it sent through her wings.

“Almost...and…there!” Chrysalis took a few quick steps back, and Luna let her breath out in a long, slow exhale. “That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Luna turned her flat and emotionless, yet still utterly stunning, eyes on Chrysalis. “Can we get this over with now?”

“As you wish, Princess,” the Queen motioned to the door, making sure Luna was the first to trot out, her head held high. She tried to tell herself that this was just out of the obvious tactical advantage of keeping one’s enemies in front of oneself, and not just because she wanted to admire the Luna’s royal flank as she trotted by. Chrysalis almost had herself convinced this was the case and was halfway out the room when she caught the sound of a pair of changelings stirring.

She trotted just out the door as Luna disappeared around a corner somewhere down the hall, flanked by changeling guards on her way towards the dining caverns. With her out of sight, the she immediately pressed herself to the wall, her subjects watching as they struggled to untangle themselves from their pile.

“My Queen?” One asked. “What are you…”

“Shh!” She raised a hoof to silence him as, all at once, the shuffling inside the room stopped.

“Carapace?” A voice inside asked.

“Nictis?” Another said.

"Why did you just kiss my hoof?" Nictis asked.

"Why are you holding my hoof?" Carapace retorted.

"Where's your other one?"

"It's between these two pillows."

"Oh." A few moments passed of pure silence, anticipation rising in the Queen's chest. For a moment, she thought she might have to miss the big payoff, and then a horrified scream added: "Those aren't PILLOWS!"

"GWAAAHHHH!" A loud crash sounded, and Chrysalis trotted off, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood as she suppressed a snicker.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ceilings of the palace dining cavern towered enough to give anypony looking up an intense feeling of vertigo. Add to that the massive, layered chandelier with a thousand little crystalline tines shimmering off its edges that hung from the ceiling’s apex like a twenty-foot tall, upside-down wedding cake, and any viewer would be utterly dazzled. Then there was the marble mantle, large enough to fit a full redwood tree (chopped up, of course) and engraved with a lion’s head at both its upper corners, all sitting next to a hardwood table capable of seating the full Canterlot court, with enough room left over for both the guards and the servants they’d almost certainly bring along, not that the Canterlot nobility would ever allow commoners to sit with them (Celestia forbid).

And then there was the food. The table was covered in platters piled high with biscuits soaking in butter and green beans with stuffed peppers. A couple pumpkins sat in the middle of the table, steaming with something neither pony nor changeling could quite place, but smelt irresistible. Pans overflowed with collard greens, mashed potatoes with little flecks of garlic mixed throughout, and for dessert: cupcakes of every color imaginable, coffee cake, brownies covered in chocolate shavings and light-brown toffee frosting, cookies slathered in chocolate syrup and licorice bits, and enough chocolate pudding to give an elephant a sugar rush.

The Princess and the Queen stood just within the gold-encrusted doorway, jaws agape. “Well…Princess…” Chrysalis stammered before regaining herself. “Go ahead and…dig in.”

“R-right,” Luna said, still staring with eyes wide as dinner plates at the opulent feast before them: a meal that would be considered gluttonous for twenty ponies, much less one plus a changeling. While she trotted along, trying to figure out which of the many high-backed, heavy-wooded chairs she would sit in, Chrysalis motioned for one of her servants to approach.

“What is this!? Did you tell that mare we were feeding the entire kingdom in here!?” She hissed.

“No, my Queen, we just told her to cook enough for two or three ponies, and this is what she did!” The tuxedoed changeling said defensively, ears folding back.

“Who did she think she was feeding!? The moon made incarnate!? The ruler of a starving nation!?”

The changeling blinked at his ruler. “Y-yes?” He answered, cringing with fear.

Her eyes flared for an instant, sending the little changeling flying down the hall as fast as his little wings could carry him. “I’m so sorry I’ll make sure to straighten it out with the kitchen my beloved Queen k thnx bye!” He called over his shoulder as he vanished.

Chrysalis shook her head and pressed a hoof to the lightly-powdered bridge of her nose. As if the food situation in the city wasn’t a problem enough! If this ever got out - if ponies knew the Changeling Queen was eating in such splendor while they choked down whatever rations the supply convoys would be bringing in…

“Well, this is a nice surprise,” Luna’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “And here, a part of me was afraid we would be supping on nectar or bits of rancid meat.”

“Aheh,” Chrysalis forced a laugh, grinning in that way everyone grinned when they really wanted to break a hoof off in somepony’s rear end. “Contrary to popular belief, changelings are not insects, but in fact are mammals, like any other pony.”

“Fascinating,” Luna replied, her voice completely flat and robotic. She finally settled on a chair and seated her royal tush in as graceful a manner as one would expect from Canterlot royalty.

Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis grabbed a plate (gold-trimmed with floral designs, of course. Maker above, was there any part of this castle that didn’t scream overindulgence!?). She seated herself right across from Luna, shoveling heaping helpings of mashed potatoes and collard greens onto her plate and noting the plain salad with feta cheese on the Princess’s own plate.

“Aren’t you going to take anything else? There’s plenty more,” Chrysalis said, motioning to the veritable feast set before them.

“This shall suffice,” Luna shrugged, munching passively at the greens. “What about you? I thought changelings did not require food.”

“Is that interest in discovering more about my race I detect, Princess?” Chrysalis asked, a smart little smile on her face as she scooped up her silverware (sterling silver inlaid with jewels because of course it was) and slicing off a bit of baked potato.

“Know thy enemy,” Luna replied, her own smart little smile splitting her muzzle.

“Quite,” Chrysalis replied, a sliver of potato dangling before her mouth. “While emotional energy can sustain a changeling quite adequately, we still hunger for food. That hunger will not kill us as it will a pony, but there is still that feeling of an empty stomach one must contend with. It would look suspicious for a changeling infiltrator if they never ate, after all.”

“Hmm,” Luna nodded, studying the lettuce leaf on the end of her fork as if it were an ant waiting to be crushed underhoof: a small annoyance just waiting for something much larger and more powerful to annihilate it completely. “So, it would be possible to keep a changeling absolutely starved for food and in the constant agony of hunger indefinitely, as long as they simply received a regular allotment of love?”

Chrysalis looked up from her wedge of potato, the chitin of her forehead scrunching up. “Theoretically speaking, course,” Luna amended, the smile morphing into a wicked grin.

“Of course,” Chrysalis nodded sagely and nibbled at the wedge, wiping away any crumbs with a few dainty dabs of her silken napkin, pulling it out of a plain, cherry wood holder to do so. She almost did a double-take on the napkin holder: and here she’d been expecting it to be solid gold and encrusted in diamonds!

The conversation stalled like a stallion being asked by his marefriend when he was going to pop the question already. The only sound between the pair for a few minutes was the usual snapping and gulping that accompanied any two civilized beings eating at a civilized meal, sounds one only noticed when it became clear that the conversationalists had nothing more to say to one another and were now just there to perform a bodily function, two if someone had chronic gas.

Unable to stand the silence any longer, Chrysalis sighed as she scooped a few errant green beans into her maw. If she was going to get anything out of this pony, she would have to resort to that most desperate of tactics, reserved only as a last resort for infiltrators. Yes, as much as it left a bad taste in her mouth, she was out of options here.

It was time to make small talk.

“So, is it always this cold in the Empire?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Luna replied curtly, her eyes never leaving her plate as she scooped up the last of her feta cheese.

Chrysalis frowned. Well, that didn’t work. However, if the Princess thought being discourteous would earn her a reprieve from further talking, she thought wrong. She wasn’t the only one versed in the art of conversation!

“I mean, it is really always this cold? Never a heat wave in sight?” Chrysalis asked.

“Nope,” came the reply, Luna apparently taking more interest in the stray olive rolling around her plate and soaking itself in vinaigrette than in anything the Queen had to say.

Dang it, Chrysalis cursed silently. “So, how is your sister doing?”

Luna missed a stab at the olive with her fork, sending it flying off her plate and onto the table. One of her wings quivered, and a wave of barely-restrained rage inundated her dining partner. And then it was gone in a flash. “She’s fine.”

Dang it! “I…think…that new Doctor Whooves episode looks alright.”

“I don’t watch TV.”

DANG IT! “So…I hear the Empire’s soccer team is doing quite well in the world cup. Quite impressive, considering they haven’t had any practice in a millennium, don’t you think?” Dear Maker, she was actually resorting to sports!?

“I don’t follow sports.” Silence.

DOUBLE GOD-FREAKIN’ PISSING DANG IT! Okay, she got a bit of a reaction from talking about family, maybe that was her way in? “Alright, what about Cadence? Has she been doing a fair job in ruling the Empire?”

Luna’s fork scratched against her plate, emitting a high-pitched sound that made one of the changeling servants standing at the door cringe. She finally looked up at the changeling ruler, her eyes blazing. “She was,” she hissed.

Okay, anger was something, this was progress. Probably. “A bit deep into pink, though, hmm?”

“Hmm.” Luna grunted and returned her attention to picking at her plate.

"I mean, what is with that girl and pink? I know it is the color of her coat and all, but nopony else is obsessed with a color just because they were born with it! Take me, for instance! I am black, but the only thing black about my life is my castle, and most of my evening gowns, and the tunnels my hive digs..."

"Don't forget about the royal jewel collection, your majesty." One of the servants added.

"Ah yes, thank you servant. The royal jewel collection, and...uh..." Chrysalis's eyebrows hunched in thought. After a moment, she turned back to the servant still standing at attention by her side. "Remind me to hire an interior decorator later. Our color scheme requires diversifying."

"Yes, my Queen." The changeling intoned.

“Isn't that funny? I never noticed it until now, but my entire kingdom is just black and green," Chrysalis mused thoughtfully as she picked another leaf of lettuce off the plate. "I guess it's just one of those things you get so used to that it never even occurs to question..."

"What art thou doing?"

The Queen looked up in shock at the interruption. Her dinner guest glared back at her from across the table, her plate still full. "Making conversation?" Chrysalis shrugged, another leaf of lettuce passing through her lips, her tongue lapping at a dab of vinaigrette in the corner of her mouth. "Isn't that what ponies usually do at these things?"

“'Tis what friends do,” the Princess hissed – straight up hissed! – in reply. “Thou and I are not friends.”

"No, but we could at least pretend to tolerate one another during this little jaunt, and conversation would make this evening pass by a bit faster!" Chrysalis nearly screamed, her hoof hammering down on the table's surface.

"Verily well, thou wishes to talk?" Luna snorted, the air rocketing out of her nostrils so hot that it reignited the candelabra at her side. "Let us talk about what we art doing hither. Just what was it thou wish’d to accomplish with this charade of a dinner!?"

"A bit of forgiveness was all, Princess,” the Queen hissed. “I had hoped this would be a time for making amends with you.”

“Amends,” the Princess snorted. “Thou thinks dinner makes amends f’r taking our cater-cousins hostage, invading our nation, and further traumatizing a couple who’s wedding thou ruin’d on an almost identical atrocity!?”

“I apologize for none of that!” The Queen screamed, slamming her hooves onto the table and spilling some of the food off her plate. “I was only doing what was best for my people! I’m here to apologize for the way I incapacitated you!”

“Oh, thou means when thy beat the daylights out of us f’r defending our cater-cousins!?”

“You think I lost my temper because you…” Chrysalis cut herself off, a hoof massaging her temple as she slumped in her seat. “You seriously think that was only because you fought to defend your friends?”

Luna arched an eyebrow, but the steely glare in her eyes informed Chrysalis that she was still primed and ready for battle.

“This entire meal was a waste of time,” Chrysalis grumbled, shaking her head as she pushed away from the table. "I had heard the forgiveness of ponies to be profound, unmatched by any other creatures'. Apparently, that doesn't extend to monsters like my kind, does it?"

“Monsters?” Luna’s eyes widened as if the punch line to a joke she’d forgotten had just dawned on her. “This is all about me calling you a monster, isn’t it?”

“It wasn’t obvious?” Chrysalis snorted, turning away from the table. “Of course it wasn’t. Not to you. Typical.”

She stomped her hooves twice. “Guards!” She called, glaring at the Princess the entire time.

Immediately, a couple dozen changelings clad in full armor burst through the door. “Yes, your highness!?”

“Take the Princess back to her holding cell,” she barked, trotting through their ranks. They parted and allowed her to pass by to the hallway, all staring straight ahead as she pulled the comb out of her hair and let her mane loose. “Have someling take the leftovers down to the caverns, maybe the ponies donating love down there will put it to better use than we did.”

“Yes, your majesty,” the massive soldiers droned, their armor shimmering in the artificial light as a pair of them advanced on the Princess, two of them seizing her forelegs while another four stood back with spears levelled on her. Surprisingly, she didn’t resist, only stared at the Queen as she trotted away, the royal changeling seething with anger.

“I’m sorry,” Luna rasped, her eyes wide, as if Chrysalis had just told her the moon was in fact made of cheese and had provided photographic proof.

The Changeling Queen paused and turned just as the doors slammed shut between them, sealing the dining hall off as the changelings inside set to work carrying out her orders. She raised a hoof, as if to reach up and push her way back in. “That’s the first time…anypony’s…apologized…” she stammered.

Someday, my princess, you will meet someone who will make you feel like the stars were something they wove together just for you.

Snarling, Chrysalis’s expression soured. “Another pony trick, Chrysalis, get a grip,” she muttered, storming back to her room as the first of dozens of changelings streamed past, carrying pots and pans for the leftovers.

Author's Notes:

Still not the worst first date I've ever heard of.

Chapter XVIII: Sprinkleshine

Sprinkleshine the pegasus stirred and grimaced, colors swimming in front of her eyes. She tried to lift her head off the cold, hard surface, and the world reeled under her body, the colors making like the stuff in lava lamps and turning the inside of her eyelids into something an animator might throw together in the middle of a bad acid trip.

She tried to lift a hoof to her aching head, but both forehooves stubbornly refused to budge. Grimacing, she tried again, only this time she actually felt the bonds straining against her every move, cutting into the chitin around the holes in her legs.

Wait…

Holes…chitin!

Sprinkleshine’s eyes bugged open. Ignoring the pain (and the pun: bugged open, indeed) she kept her gaze locked straight ahead until the colors stopped swimming around and faded into translucency, finally allowing for a look down at herself. What she saw made her heart leap into her throat.

“Oh…nuh…” she groaned, her voice coming as a pathetic, barely-audible wheeze. Black, chitin-covered hooves looked back up at her, a ratty-looking rope twisted through the holes in her legs, binding them tightly. Her black, ribbed body rested atop a pair of translucent wings that gave a pitiful quiver out of fear. Though she couldn’t see her own face, she didn’t need a mirror to know there would be a curved, spiky horn in the middle of her forehead, like an upside-down fang, right in between a pair of cold, pupil-less eyes and above a snout that seemed to be twisted in a permanent snarl. She bit back a sob, almost piercing her own lip with a pair of razor-sharp fangs. Sprinkleshine the pegasus was gone, probably forever, and in her place…

“So, you’re awake,” a voice devoid of any emotion stated somewhere in the dark. Though the voice was emotionless, it was obvious the pony behind it was not. The changeling felt waves of barely-restrained rage pour from the darkness, practically inundating her, drowning her and making each breath even harder, and with her injuries it was like trying to breathe on an incredibly humid day with a cracked ribcage and a temperature in the triple digits. The changeling again bit back another sob. Only one pony would feel that much rage just on seeing her in her natural form.

“Petals…” she choked before the lump in her throat closed off any hope of saying something else. She continued to sob silently, wishing her natural body had the ability to cry like a pony.

“Don’t you call me that!” The mare shrieked, stepping into the light. She’d seen better days: her mane disheveled, eyes wide and bloodshot, shoulders heaving with every short, quick gasp of breath. “Only my friends get to call me that, and I’d never be friends with something like you!”

The changeling’s head hit the floor with a low thud, body wracked with each new, silent sob. The anger coming off the pony flickered for the quickest moment, then came roaring back. “Where is she?” She hissed, voice still cold enough to elicit a shiver from the changeling.

“Huh-huh…” the changeling gasped, dry-heaved, and swallowed to regain her voice: “…who?”

“The mare you kidnapped, you filthy little bug!” The mare stomped her hooves next to the changeling’s head angrily. “Where is she!?”

“I-I…” clearing her throat to steady herself, the changeling kept her eyes on the floor. “I kidnapped no one.”

“LIAR!” Suddenly, Petalgrown’s hooves lashed out in a stomp against the changeling’s face. Blood started gushing from the creature’s nose immediately, and this time, she didn’t bite anything back. She let a sob ring out, long and hard. Either because she didn’t notice the blood or didn’t care, Petalgrown screamed in the changeling’s face: “That’s all things like you do! You lie, and you steal, and you rob ponies right out from their loved ones just so you can…”

“Enough!” Another voice rang out, clear and sharp, echoing off the walls of the makeshift prison. Twilight Sparkle stepped out of the darkness this time, horn glowing to illuminate the room just a bit more.

“She knows where Sprinkles is!” Petalgrown shrieked, nearing hysterics. “How can you say enough when she knows…”

“If we knock it out, it won’t be able to tell us anything,” the lavender unicorn glared into the other mare’s wide eyes, their snouts pressed up against each other’s, horn glowing threateningly. Twilight’s voice was flat and calm, but the changeling could feel the emotional hurricane tearing through her heart. “You’re too emotionally invested in this to get anything, so stand aside and let someone who knows what they’re doing handle this.”

Petalgrown glared back, making as if to argue, but the combination of Twilight’s glare with that threatening crackle of magic off her horn shut her up and forced her back. Muttering curse words under her breath, the other mare stomped off into the darkness, her exit highlighted by the sound of a door so swinging open and a rectangle of light appearing somewhere far-off in the darkness. “RAZZA-FRAZZIN!” The mare screamed before the door slammed shut and the rectangle vanished.

The changeling couldn’t help but smile at that. Good ol’ Petalgrown never was very good at swearing. The smile vanished as soon as the lavender unicorn levelled a calm, steely gaze on her little black body, and suddenly the gravity of the situation hit the changeling like a ton of bricks: she was alone, bound, weak, and helpless in a room with the bearer of the Element of Magic, easily the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria. A pony who had now seen both her friends and her immediate family threatened by the changeling race on TWO occasions, the first of which nearly ruined what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her brother’s life.

If changelings could shit bricks, this one would have jettisoned an entire outhouse by now. As it was, she had to satisfy herself with curling up into a little ball and crying into her forehooves.

“Crocodile tears won’t help you now,” Twilight said, her voice as cold as ever. “You might as well give up and tell us what happened to the real Sprinkleshine. And don’t lie. I’ve known that mare since I arrived in Ponyville, so if you try to…”

“Y-you don’t know her,” the changeling stammered miserably. “You’ve had two full conversations with her: once, outside Rarity’s boutique, when you had a conversation about new possible gem-mining areas that would be free of Diamond Dogs, and another time when you commented on an incoming rainstorm and wound up giving her an hour-long lecture on convection currents in the lower atmosphere.”

Twilight blinked. “That’s…I had that conversation with somepony my first week in Ponyville, right after Nightmare Moon…”

The changeling nodded, sniffling a bit. She wished her hooves were free, if only to wipe at the bit of snot bubbling at the end of her muzzle. She knew there’d be no running away, not with The Twilight Sparkle right there. “It was my fourth disguise. I was still trying to establish a decent rapport with the locals then…”

Twilight snorted angrily, glaring down at the changeling and stomping her hooves. “How long have you been holding Sprinkleshine prisoner, you monster!? Has it been all this time!?”

“No, no! Don’t you see!? I am Sprinkleshine!” The changeling sobbed.

Twilight kept up her glare, but sat back on her haunches, maintaining eye contact with the bound creature. “Explain.”

The changeling nodded. Heaven knows this mare was capable of so much more than what she was threatening. Odds were Twilight would get it out of her, one way or another. Besides, her main reason for maintaining her cover - for maintaining anything from her life in Ponyville, for that matter - had just stormed out without a second glance over her shoulder. “I was selected for a specialized program,” the changeling sighed. “The objective was to create a totally fictional pony to live in Equestria. Restraining a pony and taking their place has its shortcomings: keeping them contained without others noticing, studying them long enough to maintain their identity, but if one could create a completely fictional p-pony…”

Twilight was a smart mare, the changeling knew. She pieced it together relatively fast. “My dearest, sweetest Celestia…all those risks would vanish…there wouldn’t be anypony to find an inconsistency with the way they acted before the replacement since there never technically was a replacement…”

The changeling nodded and sniffled. “The Queen thought it up after we had a good love harvest one year. The changelings selected for the program would be able to survive off love stores until they became reliable sources of love. It was supposed to be more long-term, so…”

“But then…where were you during the Canterlot invasion!?”

The changeling’s stomach backflipped, and she looked up at the mare pleadingly. “Please…please, not with Sprinkles right there, please…”

Twilight just lowered her head, glowering mercilessly. “Where?”

“I was there, okay!?” The changeling bawled, her strange, layered voice echoing off the walls. “I was there…I saw you and the others there, and it broke my heart to do what I did but I knew the Hive would suffer if I didn’t, and…”

She stopped herself, her lower lip quivering, her head lowered, her ears pinning to her skull. “And I’m sorry,” she said in a voice so quiet Twilight practically had to lean over her to hear.

The changeling heard a derisive snort, then hooves stomping away into the darkness, followed by a door slamming shut. Still, she didn’t move. She sat there and cried for a few extra minutes, then sighed and laid on her flank for another few. She took her time recomposing herself. Time was all she had left now, after all.

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Twilight Sparkle emerged from the makeshift cell with crackles of energy pealing off her mane, glaring as if Discord, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon were all doing a little jig on the tip of her snout. If what this changeling said was true…Celestia above, Equestria was in a lot more trouble than she’d thought. Changeling infiltrators could be anywhere! She had to get this information to Celestia somehow, but how…

Ugh, and that was only the beginning of her problems. Barring the possibility of changeling infiltrators everywhere, barring the riots and mobs that would certainly result from this knowledge being released to the public, and barring the fact that she was trapped behind enemy lines with no way home, she still had to break this news to Petals. But Celestia above, how did one do that?! How did you tell somepony that the mare they’d been pining after, the one who inspired them to write terrible poetry and buy chocolates and flowers and fantasize about sunlit walks for years on end had just been a construct to serve an enemy agent’s cause?

She emerged on the main floor of the abandoned factory, shuffling past rows of abandoned iron carts and drag chains and trotting up the stairs to the main control offices, opening a door onto a room full of dusty control panels and switches that hadn’t seen power in decades. Still, she smiled at the sight of her friends amidst the equipment. Rainbow and Applejack stayed at the tiny windows, occasionally ducking down as the buzzing of insect-like wings approached. Rarity remained vigilant at the windows looking out over the factory floor…or, she remained as vigilant as a mare with an appletini in one hoof and a stallion shaving down her other could be, Twilight supposed.

“Rarity!” Twilight groaned. “The stallions are supposed to be patrolling the factory grounds, not giving pedicures!”

Rarity just looked over her sunglasses at Twilight. “Darling, in case you’ve forgotten, we are still on vacation. A few changelings aren’t going to change that.”

“A few…Rarity, the Crystal Empire’s been invaded!” Twilight groaned, her hooves massaging deep into her eyes. “Half our friends are missing, they’re doing who-knows-what to my brother and Cadence, the Crystal Heart is probably being used as a battery for that bug-bitch to charge up for an invasion of Equestria, we have no way to contact Princess Celestia, who by the way, is now totally alone if the changelings’ announcements can be believed and Luna has actually been captured…”

“Number One, this is a mani, not a pedi,” Rarity said, nodding to the stallion. “A mare should know the difference, darling. Stu here did, and he’s doing a wonderful job.”

“Thank you, Miss Rarity,” the stallion said with a grin.

“But I…” Twilight started.

“Number Two, what do you intend for us to do now? We certainly aren’t going to charge the Crystal Palace all willy-nilly, and we’re under your orders to remain here until nightfall to avoid detection, so what’s wrong with a little R&R in the meantime?”

“But…”

“Honestly dearie, you should relax,” Rarity smiled easily as she sipped her appletini and snuggled into her lawn chair. “Just a little? At least as much as Dashie and Applejack.”

“What? Rainbow and Applejack aren’t relaxed, they’re…” her eyes lifted to the mares in question, and her jaw dropped. During her glance, she’d missed the martini glasses held in each mare’s hoof, which they took constant sips at. “Rainbow Dash! Applejack!”

Both cringed and turned to her with sheepish smiles on their faces. “Sorry sugarcube, y’know it’s Apple Family policy t’never turn down a free drink.”

“Yeah, and if Appleflank can handle her booze and keep a lookout for changelings at the same time, I sure can,” Rainbow growled, downing the rest of her drink with a loud belch.

“Whuh…where did you even get those!?”

“Bartender,” AJ replied, sipping with surprising daintiness. “Where else?”

“Bartender!? We’re a small rebel cell, since when do we have…” and at last, Twilight noticed the long table set up against the wall, with the same stallion that had been running the tavern manning it, currently deeply involved with a scuff mark on his new bar’s surface.

Holding to a deadpan stare, Twilight trotted up to the stallion and sat in front of him, remaining in place until he finally looked up from his work and grinned sheepishly.

“Really?” She asked. “I mean, really?”

“Heheh…sorry…” he said, a grin forming beneath his mustache. “It is my life, though. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m one of those stallions defined completely by their occupation.”

“Where did you even find alcohol and martini mix in this place?”

“Never underestimate a professional’s ability to procure booze,” the stallion replied, his chest inflating with pride.

“I…ugh, I don’t have time for this,” Twilight grumbled, massaging her temple as she sank to her flanks. “I need to find Petalgrown, I need to talk to her.”

Rainbow Dash abandoned her post to dart to Twilight’s side. “Is it about Sprinkleshine!?” She gasped. “Did that bug downstairs give up her location!? Is it close!? Can we mount a rescue mission!?”

“Rainbow!” Twilight said, her muzzle wrinkling against the stench of alcohol on the mare’s breath. “I’m as concerned for a fellow Ponyville citizen as the next mare, but we aren’t going to go charging to the rescue all willy-nilly! We can’t value one pony’s freedom over the safety of the Empire!”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “I get that egghead, I was just hoping it might be something we can handle now, instead of sitting on our flanks and waiting for something to happen.”

At that, Twilight smiled thinly and laid a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “I know, and I’m sorry,” she said, softening instantly. “This whole situation has me stressed is all. Celestia knows what they’re doing to my brother and Cadence.”

“Aww heck, I didn’t even think of it that way,” Applejack said, trotting up to the pair with a martini still in her hoof. “Our friends might be stuck, but you’re the one who has actual kin in danger. Don’t get me wrong, Pinkie and Flutters bein’ in trouble makes me all kinds a’ coarse, and I’m quiverin’ like a filly wonderin’ what could be happening to ‘em, but it’s a little different to know blood’s in trouble.”

“I’m…quite sure they’re alright, dearies,” Rarity said, turning in her chair to face the trio. “We saw the changelings just capture Luna, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, and they seemed to be treated alright. I see no reason why they wouldn’t extend that treatment to your brother and Cadence.”

“Perhaps because they’re the ones who defeated her in the first place, which makes them the only ponies in the world she might make an example of?” Twilight replied quietly.

The mares all bit their lips, the only sound in the room being their bartender attacking the scuffmark with a combination of cleaning fluid and ferocity. At any rate, Twilight shook her head. “Either way, we need to keep our heads. Worrying won’t help anypony.”

“R-right,” Rainbow Dash said, biting her lip in concern as she and Applejack shared a quick glance. “Well, Petals is on the roof if you still want to talk to her.”

“Thank you,” Twilight said, nodding at her friends and giving a smile so thin and fake it could sign up for a modeling career. The mares all watched their friend trot to the roof, all sharing concerned glances.

“She’s freaking out,” Rainbow Dash said. “She’s controlling it better than the ‘Smarty-Pants’ incident, but still…”

“Consarn it, Twi,” Applejack muttered. “Dang fool. How can somepony as smart as her be dumb enough to try and hide her fear from her friends?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight took a deep breath as she stepped out onto the factory’s roof. The brisk air whipped her mane up around her head and filled her lungs, forcing a coughing jag, but she recovered, dodging a puddle of stagnant water and rounding a rust-covered ventilation unit, her eyes falling on the mare sitting under a hole-filled chunk of corrugated steel.

She silently took a seat next to the mare, both staring out a particularly large hole in the steel at the city around them. Twilight took note of the lack of magical explosions and deafening booms that had been echoing throughout the city just a few hours before. Had the Empire’s forces been crushed so quickly?

“You know, it’s warm downstairs,” Twilight said. “Less risk of getting spotted by a patrol, too.”

As if to drive her point home, a tiny group of changelings buzzed by in a v-shape formation, spears held in their hooves, their gaze locked straight ahead.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Petals sighed, her shoulders rising and falling in an exaggerated motion. “If they haven’t noticed me by now, they aren’t gonna.”

It was hard to argue with that logic, but it was also hard to consider sitting underneath a rusted-out chunk of steel away from other ponies healthy. Twilight sighed, circling her hoof around in the filthy gravel. If only she’d gotten to know Petals better before all this, but it’s not like she could get to know everypony in Ponyville all at once!

Petalgrown wasn’t part of her friendship schedule until next month, anyway. So there, this would all be so much easier if she’d just postponed the trip to the Crystal Empire another month! It wasn’t like she wouldn’t have used that time unwisely! The library filing system could always use another reorganization, anyway!

Well, no use beating around the bush. She could just get it over with. “Petals…”

“It claimed she was always Sprinkles, didn’t it?” Petalgrown stated flatly.

Twilight’s jaw disengaged, waggled around for a while, and then clenched shut again. She sighed once more. “Exactly.”

“It’s a liar.”

“Now, I know why you’d say that, it can be hard to accept that a loved one isn’t what we thought they were…” Twilight started, only to be interrupted when Petalgrown rounded on her with enough hatred burning in her eyes to give King Sombra a hard-on.

“It’s. A. Liar.” Petalgrown said distinctly, glaring directly into Twilight’s eyes. “That’s what they do. They lie to get what they want, and why would that thing want to help us get the real Petalgrown back?”

Twilight took a couple steps back, unnerved by the glare burning into her eyes. “N-now, before you go and just dismiss this, I should point out it…I mean she…brought up some good…”

“Don’t dignify that thing by calling it a she!” Petalgrown shrieked. Twilight was suddenly very grateful that they were in an abandoned part of town, where changeling patrols were less likely, but that didn’t prevent her from erecting a quick noise-cancellation barrier nonetheless. “It doesn’t deserve that title! Not after what it’s taken from me!”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak again, then closed it. What would be the point? She saw nothing in the other mare’s eyes to indicate that she was anywhere close to accepting this. The only thing she could do was retreat and hope that with time, a cooler mindset would prevail in Petalgrown’s head. “T-try to keep it down out here,” Twilight whispered. “If you’re spotted, make sure you call us so we can all make a run for it.”

Petalgrown just nodded and resumed her place, sitting in the gravel, glaring out her hole. Twilight shook her head and walked out her noise-cancellation barrier, trotting back into the factory. She tossed a quick charge onto the barrier for good measure before disappearing back into the factory’s bowels. Of course, she did not see the pure rage and fury that overwhelmed Petalgrown’s features the moment her back was turned. She did not see the way Petalgrown stomped a hoof repeatedly into the gravel, as if imagining a certain someone’s head beneath her hoof. And she most assuredly did not see the silent promise Petalgrown made to “get her Sprinkleshine back, no matter what,” or the dead-eyed, merciless way Petalgrown stared at her own hoof while she made that promise. Much might have been different if she had seen any of these things.

Chapter XIX: An Eventful Night

Bait braced his shaking, flour-covered hooves against the stove, nearly buckling under his own weight. His ears folded back out of sheer exhaustion, his neck barely able to support the weight of his head. “Puh-Pinkie…” he rasped.

“You need a break?” She asked cheerily. “Alright, big boy! You just close your eyes, and let me handle everything else! I got the rest covered!”

The changeling turned to rest a sugar-coated cheek on the countertop. Pinkie stood just a few yards away, cheerfully throwing licorice and taffy together into a pan, stirring it with sprinkles, and tossing the entire concoction into an industrial-strength oven that whined with another flash of fire, as if complaining about its huge workload. I feel your pain, bud, his half-asleep mind thought as his eyes slowly drifted shut, easing him down into sweet, blissful sleep…

Wait…

Jerking up as if a bolt of lightning had just hit him square in the spine, the changeling slammed his hoof into the countertop. Instantly, the kitchen filled with a green flash and a solid rock stood where Pinkie had been, her head the only thing exposed to the air.

“Hey, what the…” she said in a tone that only suggested annoyance as she glared at her reformed body-prison.

“Did you think I was that stupid, pony!?” Bait barked, adrenaline keeping him wide awake as he strode intimidatingly towards the little pink and green prison. Well, as intimidatingly as a changeling covered in flour, sugar, and a pinstripe apron could, at least. “Did you really think I’d fall for that?”

“Fall for what?” Pinkie asked cheerfully, flashing a big pair of innocent, blue eyes up at the changeling.

“Oh, don’t act all innocent with me!” He levelled an accusing hoof at her, taking no mind of the glob of pudding dribbling off its end. “You want me to go to sleep so you can set about poisoning the food supplies, isn’t that right!? You want me to sleep so you can conspire to kill me and as many changelings as you can! Well, it won’t work, missy! I’m onto you! So, what do you think about that!?”

Completely unfazed, Pinkie’s tongue promptly snapped out of her mouth and lapped up the pudding, licking it right off Bait’s hoof like a frog snatching up a fly. “I think that’s a really good impression of Twilight! You even got her eye twitch down!”

“Eye twitch?” Bait asked, a hoof trailing to his face, leaving a chocolate trail as he found the set of muscles just below his eye quivering like a Jell-O mold in an earthquake.

“Yep! Ooh, you got a really good one, too!” She sighed. “I guess that’s the sign that we should be done for the day, eh?”

“I…yes,” he stomped his hoof, releasing her from her prison. “Yeah, I should get you back into your cocoon now anyway.” He gazed at the cuckoo clock just over one of the massive ovens, trying not to look panicked as he realized he was already five minutes late for his shift in the tunnels.

“Oh, what? But I’m not even…” she started before suddenly collapsing to the floor with a low thud.

“What the…Pinkie!?” He gasped, trotting cautiously to her body. Slowly, carefully, he reached a hoof out to her neck to feel for a pulse, his body tensed and ready to leap back at a moment’s notice. He felt a nice, steady pulse on her throat. Thinking fast, he pulled a quick scan of her emotional state, her body humming momentarily with the green hue of his magic.

“Let’s see…emotions calm, brain activity low…” A loud snort filled the room and Pinkie turned over, swatting lazily at the air with a hoof as she smacked her lips. “Out like a light!” The changeling realized, shaking his head as he scooped the mare up in his magic. He cradled her as he trotted back to the supply closet and lowered her gently into the cocoon for recuperation.

“Few hours in there, and you’ll be right as rain,” he whispered, zipping the tiny cell up as the mare disappeared into the goop. Nodding satisfactorily, he returned to the kitchen to try and tidy up. It wasn’t much: a few pots and pans, some flour on the floor. For someone as spontaneously random and energetic as her, Pinkie was surprisingly diligent about keeping a clean kitchen.

“Nice trait for a pony,” the changeling mused as he swept a few grains of sugar into a dustpan. Sighing, he counted off what still needed to be done before he could rest for the night. He still had to clean out the interior of oven #3 from one of her earlier experiments (he had no idea why somepony would ever think licorice would taste good in brownies, but it was still interesting to find licorice’s reaction with severe heat and baking soda could be so violent), then give the kitchen another once-over, then he had to take stock to make sure they had the supplies for the Queen’s dinner the next day, and then he still had a shift to pull in caverns with Switch…

Something caught his eye in the dim light, perched on one of the countertops. Blinking his night-vision into place, the changeling looked it over: a tiny plate with a wrapped cupcake perched upon it, next to a note written in crayon. Stunned, he lifted the tiny piece of paper up to his eyes.

SWITCHY-

MANAGED TO SAVE ONE FROM THE LICORICE-OVEN FIASCO JUST FOR YOU. ENJOY!
-PINKIE

“Where in the heck did she even get a crayon?” He asked aloud, looking the piece of paper over. “Or a chunk of construction paper?” Shaking his head, he looked the cupcake over. A cupcake she’d saved. Just for him. Odds were he’d need to throw it away, he just couldn’t trust it, but still the fantasy, the idea that this little pony had actually done something for him, for her captor…

“Whatta mare,” he sighed as he lifted the cupcake off its plate and carefully dropped it in the nearest waste bin, his heart giving the smallest little wrench at the sound of it hitting the bottom. Shaking his head, he pulled off his apron and hung it on the little wooden hook by the door, flicking off the lights as he galloped off, through the cavernous, crystal-coated hallways of the palace and to the actual cavern hidden deep beneath it.

Every scrap of chitin in Bait’s body ached as he trudged his way along, past hallway after hallway, his pace slowing as stairway after stairway passed beneath his hooves. As he walked, he tried to keep his thoughts from wandering to the pink mare, trying to forget her warm laugh, or the way she kept herself perked up no matter her exhaustion, or her mildly chubby frame with its soft, warm flank…

Slapping himself a few times, Bait kept his hooves moving, down through the vaults of the Crystal Caverns and into the underground chamber where the feeding chambers had been set up. The Swarm had yet to ensure the Palace Throne Room back up top had been totally secured, and ever-efficient, the Night’s feeding was being held in the same chamber they’d carved for themselves while breaking into the palace.

As he approached the luminescent hole in some deep, forgotten corner of the caverns, the sounds of a hundred hooves beating against the cavern’s floor greeted his ears, echoing in the caves. He shivered as it was accompanied with a slightly less welcome sound: somepony crying somewhere. Numbness washed into his heart on reflex, squeezing off all emotion until the sounds faded into the background as so much white noise. It was a necessary sound that was bound to accompany what was a necessary process. Didn’t mean he had to like it.

Lifting off from the edge of the hole, he dropped down through its center, swooping into the pit and landing deftly on a small outcropping overlooking the chamber. Below him, a line of ponies was being led to a large underground lake, glowing an eerie green and bubbling periodically. A group of changelings stood on the lake’s edge, their fangs dripping to collect a few trickles of love, whereupon the pony would be led off on shaking hooves to…a large table filled with desserts? What the hay was that doing there?

Despite the weirdness of a fancy buffet table in this place, Bait grinned to himself. “So they already have the love stores set up. Cool.”

Swooping out of his hiding place, he trotted along, scanning for a familiar face among the numerous changeling guards, ignoring the downtrodden ponies being led in two long trains around him, like a river parting around a rock. Of course, he did not expect the larger changeling standing atop a rock near the curve of one of the lines, directing orders from behind a clipboard.

“Keep it movin’, now,” the larger changeling bellowed. “Make your donation to one of the collectors on the lake’s edge, and move along to the exit. Oh, and don’t forget your complimentary dessert.”

“Switch, m’man!” Bait called happily, his wings buzzing him off towards his friend.

“Bait!” The larger changeling turned his attention from his work long enough to hoof-bump his friend. “How you been!?”

“Aw, not bad, not bad at all,” Bait shrugged. “I see they gave you guard duty on the love stores.”

“Aw yeah,” Switch snorted and turned back to the line, watching as another pony was led up to a changeling, who sank his fangs into the pony’s neck and sucked awhile before releasing them. The changeling turned to release his love stores as a torrent of greenish liquid into the bubbling lake behind them while the pony was led off, dazed, stumbling a bit, and with a cookie shoved into their hoof. “Really, it ain’t so bad. Just make sure these idiots don’t panic and try to riot, make sure everypony donates…”

“Yeah,” Bait shrugged. “So, how was your first day with your charge?”

Switch blushed for the quickest instant, but fortunately his partner was too distracted watching the line of ponies filing out through the pointed-rock teeth of the cavern to notice. Swallowing his embarrassment, he nodded. “Pretty good. She was…uh…pretty cool with feeding the hatchlings.”

“Yeah?” Bait scrunched up the chitin of his forehead. “No complaining? None of that usual crap about calling them little monsters?”

Switch frowned at the memory of many a mare, ponynapped and brought to the old hive’s hatchery, only to immediately scream and yell, calling the hatchlings that wretched name. Made his stomach twist, and took the edge off any guilt he felt about the ponies being led into this place. The hatchlings might not have been able to understand it, but for a newborn to hear that wretched name directed at them at such an early age… “No, none of that. She seemed…only too eager to feed them.”

Bait’s ears perked up at that. “Huh. Weird.”

“I know,” Switch cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. “So anyway, what about you? How did your first date go with the pretty little pony?”

“Oh, it was…WHAT!?” He turned and gawped at his partner as the larger changeling flashed a healthy grin his way.

“C’mon, she is ‘quite the mare,’ isn’t that how you put it?” He asked in a mocking, sing-song tone.

“I…you…y’know what, screw you!” Bait yelled, snatching the clipboard from his partner’s hoof and setting his sights on the line. “Your shift’s over, I’ll take it from here!”

“Whatever you say, lover-boy!” Switch laughed as he turned, trotting towards the cavern’s entrance, right past his friend as he scanned the board.

“Lessee…lessee…” the smaller changeling grumbled, looking through what was needed, pushing his embarrassment to the back of his mind even as his partner made kissy-noises to him over his shoulder. It looked like Switch had completed most of the day’s orders, separating ponies whose discovered talents made them ideal for jobs needed by The Swarm to maintain themselves, all except one.

“Huh, he never got the couple needed to feed the second hatchery,” he mumbled. “Weird. Alright, let’s see who…oh…oh, I see,” Bait sighed. All of a sudden, it became all too clear why Switch had neglected to collect these two ponies. Well, now that he was in charge, it might be time to correct this little ‘oversight.’

“Are Ajax and Nightshine Strongshield in the cavern?” He called. “I repeat: I am looking for the Strongshields!”

After a few minutes, a couple of crystal stallions walked out of the line and slowly made their way to him, forehooves enclosed in one another’s. Bait nodded to them; though they were no longer wearing their armor, the pair was unmistakable.

“What did you want with us…uh…sir?” Ajax asked with Nightshine’s forehooves wrapped around his neck, holding the stallion close like a child with its stuffed animal.

“You two have been selected for an important duty for the swarm. Your love has been determined to be strong enough to feed our…”

“Wait, hold up!”

Pins and needles crawled up Bait’s spine at the sound of his partner’s voice. The larger changeling had made a sudden U-turn just short of the cavern’s entrance, making a bee-line for the trio gathered between the lines as they filed past. No, not now, don’t do this now… he silently begged.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Switch barked at his friend.

“Fulfilling this request you forgot to finish on your order form?” Please, please, please just drop this. He silently begged. Chrysalis…Faust…hell, I’ll even pray to Celestia, just please, let him shrug his shoulders and walk away right now!

The larger changeling looked the pair of stallions over, Nightshine still holding onto Ajax’s neck as he stared up at them defiantly. One of Switch’s eyes twitched, his nose wrinkling involuntarily. “Aheh, I don’t think so. I have a hard enough time imagining their…love mixing in with my rations, thank you very much.”

“Woah,” Ajax suddenly perked up, lifting his head away from his lover’s. “What’s that supposed to mean? All the other ponies are being made to donate to that pool-thing!”

“Nothing!” Bait leapt between the two. “Nothing, he means nothing! He just…uh…”

“Well, excuse me for not wanting some fag love mixed in with all the normal stuff!” The larger changeling bellowed.

The entire line ground to a halt. The downtrodden ponies, along with their changeling guards, all stopped and stared wide-eyed at Switch. One of the changeling’s jaws dropped, then his eyes widened, tearing up as he turned and took off for the cavern’s exit, tears streaking out behind him. “Crashy, wait!” Another changeling screamed, taking off after him.

Nightshade pulled his head out of his partner’s fur long enough to look, dumbfounded, up at the larger changeling. “I-I thought these days were over!” He bawled, burying his head in Ajax’s neck.

“Aw, dude…” the unicorn stallion standing right behind them said.

“Not cool. Very not cool.” The guardling holding the unicorn at spearpoint completed with a slow shake of his head.

“I-it’s not his fault!” Bait screamed, shoving Switch towards the tunnel’s exit. “It was his father! H-he’s a decent guy once you get to know him!”

“Oh, sure,” Ajax grumbled, glaring at the pair as he and his partner trotted off to rejoin the line. “Don’t waste your breath, hon, we’ve heard it all before!”

“Wait…I…” he sighed, the clipboard falling to his side. Then, he glared up at Switch.

“What?” The larger changeling asked, shrugging nonchalantly. “I was just lookin’ out for the hive.”

“Oh, I know,” Bait hissed, still glaring. “I just never thought I’d see the day when I’d be totally embarrassed to be your friend, that’s all.”

Bait turned around and walked away, following the lines deeper into the cavern as they started up again, leaving the larger changeling to watch him leave, his eyes wide in absolute shock.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a damn good night to be a changeling, as Atraxis and Meelah knew very well. With songs from the old changeling empire rising from their throats and alcohol from the Palace's private stockpile sloshing in their stomachs, how could they not? They had just taken part in the second-most audacious invasion in the Changeling Empire’s history, and this time, they had succeeded. Just then, it seemed as if the entire world lay before them, as if they could do anything, go anywhere, be whatever they wanted to be, and all without the usual stigma that dogged every changeling wherever they went.

The pair of perfectly generic changelings stumbled drunkenly through the streets, paying no mind to the ponies that suddenly fled indoors as they passed, or to the mares that crossed to the other side of the street as they approached. Why should they? They were so occupied with their drunken chorus, their voices warbling in high, barely-audible clicks in some ancient changeling song, that everything else just seemed to fall by the wayside.

“Ohh,” Meelah cackled happily once their latest slurred chorus had come to an end. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we finally won somethin’!”

“Eh, it was only a matter of time,” Atraxis snickered, taking another sip from the wine bottle hovering between them. “If you make enough tries at somethin’, shooner or later, one of ‘em’s bound t’work!”

Meelah looked to his friend, surprised. “Traxy, dude, you should totally write that one down. That was shum deep stuff, bro.”

“What can I shay, man? I got da heart of a poet right…” he stumbled and fell flat on his face, spurning a laughing fit from his friend.

“Yeah! And the grace of an elephant!” Meelah guffawed while Atraxis slowly pulled his face out of the crystal street and admired the face-smear he’d left behind. He looked up, and immediately his eyes lit up.

“Mee! Sh-shut up for a minute!” He yelled, scrambling to his hooves and jamming his friend’s muzzle shut. “Just seriously, check dat out over dere!”

Looking to his friend with drunken, unsteady balance, the changeling turned, gazed up the street, and grinned malevolently. “Well, I’ll be.”

A mare ducked out of a darkened path leading out of one of the Empire’s many parks, shooting along one of the lines of bushes on its borders. She took one look over a teal-covered shoulder, her curly mane falling over her face, and her eyes instantly widened in fear. She turned back to focus on the sidewalk, head bowed, staring straight ahead.

“Whaddya think, Mee? Feel like a little midnight shnack?” Atraxis asked, a mischievous grin on his face.

The corners of Meelah’s mouth dropped ever-so-slightly. “I dunno…we’re really not supposed to…” he mumbled.

“Aww, don’t be such a goody two-hooves!” His friend pouted. “You really need to learn how to kick back and have a li’l fun sometimesh, y’know?”

“Hey! I have fun! I’m three sheets to da wind now, aren’t I!?”

“Only ‘cause I pushed ya into it. Face it: if it weren’t for me, you’d never have volunteered for the invasion force, and you’d still be back in the hive, doin’ whatever boring-ass thing yer always doin’.”

Meelah’s tiny, little frown suddenly went through puberty and became a big, strong scowl. In his drunken mind, he knew just how right Atraxis was. All the lonely Friday nights spent studying infiltration tactics while his friends all donned disguises and went partying with whatever species happened to be nearest to the hive, all the days spent locked in the Imperial Libraries just to have more time with his studies, all the hours with his nose thrust in a musty, dust-covered old book, they all popped into his mind, and while sober Meelah might have been proud of the willpower and determination it had taken to do it all, drunk Meelah was too filled with testosterone to see anything but wasted nights and wasted opportunities. The only time he’d ever gotten to have any real fun was with the changeling now at his side, and while a few of those times might have ended like the night they all went pony-tipping and woke up on a griffon-run merchant marine, just a few minutes from being shanghaied to the outer Baronies, he considered those nights the best of his life. Sure, they usually only got out of those situations because of sheer dumb luck, but that’s what it was all about, right? The simple thrill of the thing, the adventure! So what if they’d woken up with a few dozen Equestrian spears levelled on them once or twice, Drunk Meelah still thought those nights were worth a hundred times whatever those days spent in the libraries might be! Sober Meelah might disagree, but he was a wuss! To Drunk Meelah, there was only one possible response to his friend’s suggestion.

“Let’s do this,” he said with a little grin. Atraxis returned the grin, and the pair drunkenly advanced, ears folded, eyes glowing in the dim twilight. In their minds, they were stealth incarnate, invisible as shadows. Of course, in reality their drunken stumbling could be heard for miles, so it was actually a little surprising that the mare didn’t hear them until they were just a few yards away.

She turned at the sounds of barely-suppressed giggles and shambling hooves, her eyes with a far-away glaze to them. Then her pupils sharpened and her jaw dropped. “Nuh…no…” she whimpered.

“Yesh,” Atraxis hissed, trying to sound like a threatening predator but coming off more like a large wasp after a few hits from a bug bomb.

“I…but what did I do!?” She gasped, backing away from the pair with a fearful quiver in her step.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll come up with somethin’,” Meelah hissed, taking a few steps towards her, stumbling, and correcting himself with a little cough to make it look like the stumble had been intentional.

“Wait…please…I…I…” she stammered, tears welling up in her bright-green eyes, then suddenly took off in a panicked gallop.

“You gotta love it when they run,” Atraxis hissed gleefully as he and Meelah took off right on the mare’s hooves. Drunk Meelah felt a massive smile cross his face. This was the way things were supposed to go. The wind in his face, the fear of his prey almost a palpable tint in the air, the moon highlighting every detail of the crystalline street as it whizzed by under them, all blocking the annoying voice of Sober Meelah, screaming under the surface: You’ve got wings, you moron! Why aren’t you using them!?

Shut up, wussy, I drunk better when I’m think! Drunk Meelah retorted, his eyes never leaving the bobbing tail of the Crystal Pony before them, which finally convinced Sober Meelah to just give up, put his feet up, and let Future Meelah worry about the consequences of what was about to happen, which he knew would inevitably be the pretty little pony getting away because they were two changelings who were too drunk to walk straight and she was a perfectly sober mare who probably worked on her cardio, judging by the toning in her flank.

Just as Sober Meelah started crafting fantasies to occupy Future Meelah’s time, most of them involving that toned little flank bobbing up and down like a prize in his vision, the mare darted across an alleyway, only to be engulfed by a shadow from the darkness and pulled off her hooves. Meelah came to a shocked stop, feeling Atraxis bounce off his shoulder thanks to a delayed reaction.

“Ow, dude, what the…” Atraxis started, but trailed off the moment he looked over Meelah’s head and spotted an empty street. “Aw man, did we lose ‘er already!?”

Sober Meelah would have shrugged his shoulders and turned away, maybe leading his friend to the barracks where he could sober up. Sober Meelah would have decided that if something that fast and that dark wanted to snatch up somepony, it was probably best to leave them to it and pretend nothing ever happened. Drunk Meelah, however…

“Somethin’ shnatched her up,” he grumbled, eyeing the alleyway with a low growl building in his throat. “Somethin’ stole our shnack, man!”

“Bullshit!” Atraxis stumbled over to the alleyway and charged into the darkness. “C’mon! I’m sure we can head ‘em off!”

“Right behind you!” Meelah screeched, hooves sliding drunkenly as he attempted to catch up with his friend. The pair bounced along, dodging and diving past overturned garbage cans and rotting dumpsters with the sort of nimble touch usually reserved for gymnasts. At least, that’s what they thought they were doing. In reality they drunkenly stumbled through a few puddles, bouncing off alleyway debris like a couple of lopsided pinballs before landing face-first in the street on the other side.

“Racing shadows!” Atraxis announced proudly.

“Hokay,” Meelah bolted to his hooves and looked around. “I dunno whatchoo assholes think you’re…doing?”

A pair of muscular changelings held the mare between them, her muzzle having been wrapped in changeling goop. She looked up pleadingly as a massive changeling turned to the drunken pair behind him. His eyes widened in surprise, then quickly settled back into a cold neutral. “Well, well, well, what do we have here? A couple of soldiers getting drunk while on duty?”

“Hey! How do y’know we’re drunk?” Atraxis bellowed, pointing a hoof accusingly, only to stumble off to the side and narrowly avoid crashing head-first into a garbage can.

“Oh, a lucky guess and a few signs,” the large changeling hissed threateningly, those cold, steely eyes never letting up. “One of those being the fact that neither of you has seen fit to salute your superior officer since your arrival.”

“Wha-oh!” Meelah quickly raised a hoof in salute, trying to stand as straight as possible, only to nearly fall over from throwing his own center of gravity off. “Colonel Buzzwing, sir! We’re so…we’re so…” Meelah would have continued, if not for the sudden bout of hiccups that wracked his frame.

“We just got back from the Crystal Palace, sir,” Atraxis explained, desperately trying to pick up where his more eloquent, but more intoxicated, friend had left off. “Some of the Lieutenants found a huge stash of the ponies’ alcohol and divided it amongst us all.”

That look of disgust and cold steel never left the Colonel’s eyes, though a grin started to stretch his muzzle, much like the grin of a wolf spying a herd of unguarded sheep. “Well now, if it was the ponies’ stash you all were using, I can’t say I have much against dividing the spoils of war amongst yourselves.”

“Thank you…sir…” Meelah intoned, hoof still raised in salute despite the rising urge to vomit.

“But why don’t you boys get on back to the barracks, yeah?” He motioned for the soldiers flanking him and tossed the mare over his shoulder, her muffled cries and pleas never even making it past the goop wrapped around her muzzle. “We’ll make sure you make it back in one piece, right fellas?”

“Yes sir,” the pair replied in unison.

The commander rested a hoof on one of the soldier’s shoulders, balancing the mare in his other arm in a feat of strength that made Meelah take a half-step back out of reverence. “Just find out what their plans are for the rest of the night and…take care of them, alright?” He asked.

Sober Meelah would have instantly realized something was very wrong with that picture. The way the commander said ‘take care of them,’ the way the pair advanced on him and Atraxis with a look in their eyes like a couple of changelings on a mission from the Queen herself, rather than a pair asked to escort their comrades back to their barracks, the entire situation with the kidnapped mare and just where these changelings thought they were taking her, it all would have shot up a half-dozen red flags for Sober Meelah. However, Sober Meelah was nowhere to be found. Instead, we had Drunk Meelah.

“Hey cool,” Meelah said with a little smile, not noticing the cold looks the soldiers gave him through his drunken haze. “Private escorts.”

“Yeah,” Atraxis said, his mind slightly more aware than his friend’s thanks to years of similar nights with similar amounts of alcohol in his bloodstream. Something in those cold glares just really turned him off, making his buzz suddenly seem a bit less sweet and more like a burden. “Th-that’s really not necessary, sir.”

“Oh no, I insist,” the commander replied, and once again Meelah missed the coldness and anticipation in the smile flashed their way, the mare an all-but-forgotten piece of luggage in the other changeling’s grip. “Someling’s gotta make sure you boys get home safe now, right?”

“R-right,” Atraxis replied, falling in step with the soldiers as they disappeared down the alleyway. Meelah tailed behind, still completely oblivious to the cold, calculating way their new escorts looked at him and his friend, waiting for one of the pair to break the ice.

“So,” one of the soldiers said as he stamped through a shallow puddle. “You guys do this often?”

Meelah couldn’t help but smile drunkenly at that. “You have no idea,” he chuckled, shaking his head at his friend. “You ‘member, Traxie? The shit we got into with that griffon captain?”

“Yeah,” Atraxis grinned, but it was uneasy, the grin of a stallion trotting into a lion’s den. “I still don’t remember how we got out of that one.”

“I do,” Meelah said. “I always ‘member things, even when we’re drunk!”

The pair came to a halt just outside the alleyway. Meelah and Atraxis slipped past and trotted into the street before they even realized their escorts were now just standing at the alley’s head, regarding them coldly. “That a fact?” One of their escorts asked, barking the question so it sounded more like an order.

“Y-yeah,” Meelah said with a little frown, then tapped his head with a silly grin spreading over his muzzle. “Like a steel trap up here, it is!”

The guards regarded him, analyzing him appraisingly, and then tiny smiles spread across their lips. “That’s fascinating, really,” one of them said, stepping in close. Meelah watched uneasily as the other guard took a position next to Atraxis, then the pair threw their hooves over their shoulders. “I mean, able to remember something, anything, in spite of being so obviously drunk? Quite the talent you have there!”

“Uh, yeah…I guess…” Meelah laughed nervously, the actions of the guards finally breaking through the drunken haze to raise a few little red flags in his head.

“That really is somethin’,” the soldier led him back towards the alley’s entrance, but Meelah fought back, his legs dragging. The soldier’s attempts at leading him along morphed into an impatient, nearly desperate tugging, then slacked off all at once. “Not sure I’ve come across a talent like that.”

“Y-yeah, I read a lot,” Meelah said, trying to take a few steps back into the open road, only to find his way blocked by the hoof around his shoulders, locked in place like a vice. “Guess it jus’ developed o’er time, or somethin’.”

“That is fascinating, truly,” the guard replied, and in his drunken state Meelah never noticed the way his free forehoof slid out of view, reaching into the crack where the chitin of his torso met the coverings on his hind legs. “You seem like a great guy, man. Like someone I could get to know better.”

“Really?” Meelah looked hopefully at the larger changeling’s face, yet for some reason, the soldier did not meet his gaze, apparently looking over Meelah’s shoulder at his partner for reasons his drunken mind couldn’t even begin to discern. “Y-you wanna be friends?”

“Well now, friends would be a bit extreme, ‘cause there’s one thing I make sure anyling can do before I start calling them a friend.”

“Oh?” Meelah said, the drunken haze over his eyes keeping him from seeing the slight nod the pair shared with one another. “Whazzat?”

Without another word, the soldier pulled his hoof into view, clenching a long, thin, black dagger that glinted in the moonlight before plunging into Meelah’s body. The weapon expertly missed the tougher parts of the chitin, sliding into a crack where the back plates met and driving between the ribs, piercing his heart. Meelah managed a quiet, desperate gasp, more of surprise than of pain, before he felt the darkness close in around his vision, the glowing, green ichor pumping through his veins flowing from the new orifice in his body, soaking the dagger’s handle.

“How t’keep their fuckin’ mouths shut,” the soldier hissed into Meelah’s ear as he gave the dagger a final twist and slid it out. As the blackness closed in, Meelah felt the urge to vomit rise from his stomach again. He didn’t fight it this time.

Chapter XX: Tea with Chaos

Luna’s eyes drifted open, peering up through the goop. Thanks to her connection to the moon, she knew it was just a bit past midnight, which meant it was finally time to act. She closed her eyes again, this time focusing on a point just at the base of her horn, where her magic was produced. Though the goop drained her power before it could reach its tip and actually produce magical effects, it was still there at her horn’s base, and that was right where she needed it. After all, if you buried a coal fire beneath a few tons of concrete, wasn’t it still there, burning away somewhere out of sight?

“Bind me, Chrysalis,” she mumbled, her concentration soaring. “Go ahead. Drain my magic, throw me in a cocoon, take my friends prisoner, cut off all physical connections with the outside world, you just go on ahead and try, but there’s one thing you can never deny me.”

When she opened her eyes again, they glowed with a pure, white intensity. “I am the Mistress of the Dreamscape!” She hissed in a hushed whisper, her mind leaving its physical form and flying into the collective subconscious every sapient mind inhabited. The green goop and the tiny prison in the Crystal Palace were gone, replaced with a massive, unending stream, flowing beneath her hooves as she hovered in place. This stream – no, this river - was the amalgam of billions of minds, the place where all dreamers could be reached. It was an infinite, ever-flowing visual representation of billions upon trillions of hopes, nightmares, and ideas, all woven together in a perfect tapestry that was created at the dawn of time when the first primordial creature crawled out of some prehistoric soup, stood, and proclaimed to the uncaring cosmos: “I am ALIVE!”

Plus, it was purple and had sparkles in it. She always wondered about that.

I get the sparkles, but why purple? She mused, feeling free to drop her formal tone since she was about as alone as anypony could get without banishing themselves to the moon. Wouldn’t a rainbow make more sense? It’s a whole lot of incredibly diverse ideas and feelings and hopes, so why should it be so monochromatic?

Color choices of the universe aside, the sight of the stream never failed to take her breath away. She stretched her wings and swooped down to its surface for a closer look, which on reflection was a completely unnecessary gesture, since she could just think about where she wanted to go and pop up right there, this being a dream and all. This was probably the only chance she was going to get to stretch out her wings for a while, though, even if they were just an imaginary illusion she crafted to keep her sense of self while mingling with the rest of the collective. Besides, she liked this part.

As usual, the moment she dipped into the fluid-like body of the stream, her entire form quivered and tingled, as if someone wrapped her in a wool blanket and started rubbing really hard. Ignoring the tingling, the Princess searched through the river for one particular current, a specific eddy she knew like the back of her own hoof.

“There you are,” she whispered, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips. This current swirled in tiny loop-de-loops, shimmering with hopes and dreams that reflected its owner’s wonder with the world, while sparkling with the power of the sun itself. “Hello, dear sister,” Luna smiled, swimming towards the current and plunging right into it.

Immediately, she found herself in a small dining room, like something one would find in an upper-middle-class family’s home. A plain, white, lace table cloth adorned the oak table, which had three places set at it. She smiled and shook her head. Her beloved sister was getting better at dreamcrafting, but she still had a long way to go.

“Sister?” Somepony asked just behind her.

“Speak of the devil,” Luna shrugged, turning to face the pony with an easygoing smile on her face. Celestia gazed down at her sibling, the one eye she always kept revealed wide in shock. The smile grew wider on Luna’s face. “Tia dearest, you’ve seen better days.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay!” Celestia gasped, dropping to her knees to nuzzle the smaller Alicorn. Tears of absolute relief wetted both monarchs’ cheeks as they embraced like a soldier home from the front and his bride.

“Of course I’m fine, Tia,” Luna said, her voice cracking despite herself. “Did you really think one little changeling invasion could threaten me? You survived one, after all.”

“I got lucky,” the solar princess sighed, her lower lip quivering as she wiped at her tears. “I heard Chrysalis got a bit rough when she found you, and I thought…I thought…”

Luna embraced her sister again. “Shhh, I’m fine, really,” she whispered, sparing the larger Alicorn from finishing the sentence. “A few bumps and scrapes, sure, but the changelings patched me up alright.”

“They…did?” Celestia asked, an eyebrow arching. “Well, what about food? Or anything else? Have they interrogated you yet? Oh Maker above, did they…”

“Sister, hush,” Luna placed a hoof over her sister’s mouth. “No, they haven’t done any of that. In fact, the Queen and I had dinner just this past night.”

Celestia’s eyebrows hunched. “You and Chrysalis had dinner,” she stated.

“It didn’t go well,” Luna said with a casual shrug. “But I think she was honestly trying to apologize for the way she beat me up earlier.”

“Apologize?”

Luna nodded. “I don’t think their intention is to harm anypony. I think they have other plans, and want those to go over smoothly, which they can’t do if the whole city breaks out in a full-scale riot.”

“Other plans,” Celestia sniffled, her brow furrowing again in thought. Her voice still quivered with her tears, but Luna could see the gears turning behind her sister’s eyes. She smiled again. It was wonderful to watch the old master work. “Do you have any idea what these other plans might be?”

“Not even the beginnings of a clue, but I think I know where to start looking,” Luna gestured to the table. “I think we should discuss that over dinner, though. I see you were expecting me?”

“Yes,” Celestia shook her head sheepishly as she looked over the humble accommodations. “Sorry, I know it’s a bit less opulent than we’re used to.”

“Oh, it’s not bad for a beginner,” Luna reassured her, then tapped a hoof on the floor. Instantly, crystalline tile sprang into existence, covering the floor as the plain walls shrank away and expanded, giving birth to massive, stained-glass windows and gigantic, gold-covered painting frames with various masterpieces from the Canterlot Museum of Art manifesting within them. The walls converged into a vaulted point high above their heads, sprouting a humongous chandelier covered in dozens of lit candles and etched with floral patterns on each of its hundreds of gold-plated arms. Next came the table, which promptly expanded into something fit for a banquet hall, its plain legs replaced with statues carved into the likenesses of the sisters themselves holding up one end while King Aegeus and Queen Aeria, their beloved parents, supported the other. The silverware and plates promptly morphed into jewelry-studded, gold-plated versions of themselves, steaming with heaping helpings of mashed potatoes, garlic bread, and for dessert, an ice cream bar built right into the side of the table. Finally, the simple wooden chairs grew until they towered over the sisters, becoming thrones to rival their actual seats back in Canterlot: one engraved with an etching of the sun in its headboard, one with a beaming crescent moon.

“Show-off,” Celestia snickered as Luna beamed up at her. Taking their seats next to one another, the sisters began their dinner quietly, with napkins on their laps and silverware in their grips.

“By the way, I noticed you had three places set at the table,” Luna said between mouthfuls of garlic mashed potatoes and sips of wine. “Were you expecting somepony else?”

“Well,” Celestia smiled knowingly and shrugged. “Yes and no.”

Luna paused in her meal to deadpan directly at her sister. “Tia, you know I hate it when you speak in riddles.”

“Terribly sorry, sister, I’ve grown used to it over the centuries,” Celestia replied, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. “You see, I am expecting someone else, but using the term ‘somepony’ would imply that he is a pony.”

Luna gagged on a roll of garlic bread, turning to the solar monarch with the kind of look people usually reserved for funerals and national tragedies. “Oh, Maker above, please don’t tell me you invited him into our sanctuary!”

“Invited, no,” Celestia sighed, sipping at her goblet in as dainty a manner as possible. “But I know better than to assume he’s not going to be someplace simply because he isn’t expected.”

No sooner had those words left her mouth when a few loud explosions sounded outside. “crapcrapcrapcrapCRAP!” A certain someone with a British accent screamed just outside their hallowed halls. “C’mon son! We’ve almost made – Timmy, no! NO! Oh God, here comes a glass break!”

Discord smashed through one of the more intricate windows astride a bicycle, a little brown mustache across his upper lip reminiscent of some cheesy 70s action movie and a white helmet strapped to his skull, right on top of his horns. Glass rained down around him, catching in his teal tank top and tight black biker shorts. “BACKFLIP INTO VICTORY!” He bellowed, narrowly dodging a swinging wrecking ball and landing on a red patch of tile, which immediately sprouted a tiny flag and exploded into confetti as a little trumpet sound played.

“YEAH! 99.9999999999999% impossible, my asshole!” He screamed, arms pumping in victory.

Celestia raised her goblet to her mouth to cover a smile as Luna frowned across the table at him. “Hello, Discord,” she said flatly.

“What, no Happy Wheels fans here?” He asked, pulling off the helmet. “I know it’s a little dated, but still, it’s not like it doesn’t exist anymore.”

Luna tiredly looked to her sister, who shrugged right back. “Just go with it,” Celestia said with another sip of wine.

“That’s what I figured,” Luna sighed, looking over the bike and noticing the empty child’s seat bolted to its back. “Discord, do we even want to know why you have an empty child's seat attached to that thing?”

“Wha – Dammit!“ He snapped his fingers and turned to look back at the empty seat. “I lost another Timmy! Oh, Irresponsible Mom is not gonna be happy about this!”

"Discord, if you could take your seat, please?" Celestia asked, patiently pointing to the smaller chair set across from her.

The draconequus shrugged and snapped his fingers again, this time causing the bike, flag, gym shorts, and killer mustache to disappear. Another snap and he appeared in his seat, legs crossed, a monocle in one eye and a teacup with saucer in his claws. "Quite, dearies. I say, that business with Zimbabwe's hyperinflation doesn't seem quite able to resolve itself, now, does it?"

"Ugh," Luna tossed her goblet away in favor of the bottle materializing on the table. "Dinner with the God of Chaos. What a perfectly cruddy way to end a perfectly cruddy day."

"You wound me, Lulu! And the Zimbabweans!" The draconequus gasped, setting the teacup and saucer down, only to watch them both sprout tiny arms and legs and start running around the table.

"Can you just be serious for a few minutes!? In case you haven't noticed, the Crystal Empire has fallen and I'm being held prisoner by the changelings!" She barked, taking a gulp from her bottle.

Quite suddenly, Discord sighed. "I know," he whispered. With one more snap of his fingers, the monocle, tuxedo, and saucer with teacup (which were currently dueling it out using toothpicks as swords) all vanished without so much as a sprinkle of chocolate syrup. "Sorry about that, Luna. Just...thought I'd try to lighten the mood."

Luna blinked a few times, eyeing the draconequus suspiciously. His ears folded back and he avoided eye contact, keeping his head bowed and snout pointed at the tile. "Well...so long as you're sorry," she shrugged, lifting the bottle to her lips.

"Don't drink that," Celestia said quickly, grabbing the bottle from Luna's grasp.

"Wha - but sister! I think I deserve a drink after today!" Luna yelled defensively, reaching for the bottle as it hovered to the larger Alicorn. "Besides, it's not real! It doesn't have to make me drunk if we don't wish it so!"

"That's not what I meant," Celestia replied, upending the bottle over the table. Immediately, a snake the length of the table slithered its way out, uncoiling from inside its glass container and slithering over her plate.

Luna gaped and turned an absolutely livid expression on the draconequus, steam pouring out of her ears. Discord didn't look up, but rather snickered to himself. "YOU SUNNUVA..." she started.

"Oh come now, Lulu, she would've just given you a little kiss!" Discord laughed as the massive reptile glided towards him. Still chuckling, he leaned down and puckered his lips. The snake promptly reared up and gave him a little peck on the lips, releasing a satisfied little hiss.

Suddenly, he jolted back and stuck a claw in the reptile’s face. "Oi! No tongue!" He screamed. "We talked about this!"

Dejected, the snake hung its head and slunk off the table, gliding over the tile with a few watery trails of tears following it. "Hey, don't be like that! You'll find someone someday," he called after it, watching the snake vanish into some darkened corner. He turned back to the Princesses and shook his head, giving them a sheepish little smile. "Sorry you both had to see that. I've told her time and again that I'm spoken for, but..."

"As sweet as that is - I think - can we please return to the problem at hoof?" Celestia sighed. "I mean, we do have a crisis of massive proportions brewing! There isn't a minute to waste!"

"That's where you're wrong, dear Tia," he replied, grabbing his goblet and taking a quick sip. Then he frowned, the corner of his mouth falling in distaste. A bottle of chocolate milk appeared at his side and tipped over the goblet, mixing with the wine. Nodding in satisfaction, he promptly sipped his concoction and lounged back in his chair. "There's no better time to waste time than when you have no time to waste! A dear friend told me that once. Good guy. Bit obsessed with gingers, though."

“Ugh, you see!? You see, dear sister!?” Luna cried, gesturing wildly at the draconequus. “He can’t take even life-or-death situations seriously! He shouldn’t be here!”

Discord raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his drink. Clearing his throat for attention, he sat up in his chair, allowing his hind legs to fall to the floor. When he spoke again, it was quick, his words like bullets out of a machine gun. “Currently, the Crystal Empire is occupied by no less than two full-strength divisions of changelings, just based off the sheer amount of extra chatter the psychic waves coming off the city have been radiating. Don’t ask me how I can tell, I just can. This means their numbers stand at somewhere between twenty and thirty thousand, which unfortunately rules out the possibility of a frontal assault, seeing to it that there is simply no way to neutralize that many changelings before any hostages are killed – yourself included, Princess.”

Luna stared at the draconequus, her jaw agape, as he looked to her with the sorriest, most apologizing look she had ever seen on anypony’s face. Up until that moment, she thought it impossible that the Lord of Chaos might be honestly concerned for her safety, and while that millisecond of a look hadn’t completely reversed that assumption, it at least put a chink in her armor, making her think twice about his attitudes towards everything.

Then he was back to staring passively into his drink, watching the chocolate milk as it swirled around in the wine and made funny little shapes. “This would leave some form of commando assault aimed at infiltrating the Palace and neutralizing the Queen herself in the hopes of cowing the rest of her army, but we all know the unlikelihood of such a mission succeeding. Changelings are, by their nature, master infiltrators, and as such we should assume that they are skilled in the ways of counter-infiltration. On top of that, every entry point I've attempted thus far has been covered in enchantments and alarms that even I don’t recognize, making a covert assault impossible. Of course, there is the possibility of smuggling the team in with one of the supply caravans, but I again return you to the natural abilities of a changeling and what that could mean. The likelihood of such an operation failing would be high, and if it did, there’s no telling what could happen. The caravans are a fortunate piece of mercy from Chrysalis, a mercy that I don’t think we should test.

“So with the military options eliminated, this leaves us with far less conventional solutions: chief among them being Tia and I confronting Chrysalis ourselves. Of course, this in itself has shortcomings and unknowns, including the possibility that Chrysalis might still best us. She’s already bested you, Luna. It’s obvious that she’s found some great source of power, and is using it to her advantage. And even if we do beat her, such a battle might still take time, time which she could use to turn the Empire into a bloody graveyard and leave us with the same problem the first proposition possessed.”

“We could try the Element Bearers,” Celestia offered helpfully. “They’re already in the city. All we have to do is smuggle their Elements to them and gather them together!”

“That wouldn’t work,” Luna sighed after a nice, long gulp of wine, making sure she felt every single moment of the alcohol burning its way down to her stomach before releasing the bottle with a satisfied little hiccup. “Chrysalis has already captured Pinkie and Fluttershy, and I haven’t a clue where she’s keeping them.”

Celestia looked to her sister, her eyes lighting up with almost as much happiness as when she'd first seen the younger Alicorn. “So…Twilight…”

“Might still be free,” Luna shrugged. “I just don’t know. Sorry, Tia.”

“Ah,” the older mare sighed and drooped in her chair, her wings folding back behind her body.

“Not to mention smuggling the Elements possesses risks all its own,” Discord added, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “You’d have to locate each of the six bearers at the same time, and figure out how to bring them all together without attracting a smidgeon of attention. Meanwhile, you’d have the most powerful weapons Equestria has left running around behind enemy lines. As it exists, Chrysalis only has a couple ponies, possibly more, though that’s just conjecture at this point…“ he added, looking to Celestia, who closed her eyes and nodded in understanding. “…however, add the Elements themselves into the mix, objects of incredible power and historical value to our nation, not to mention a major morale booster to the public, and…” He trailed off, allowing the sisters to fill in the blanks.

“So, where does that leave us?” Celestia asked.

Discord guzzled the remainder of his drink and sighed. “I have absolutely no idea. There are just far too many unknowns for us to formulate a plan. We don’t know if Chrysalis will follow through on her threats to the Empire’s populace, we don’t know where the Element Bearers are or their condition, we don’t even know what the changelings are doing here. It could be a plan to distract the majority of Equestria’s armed forces in the isolated north while the remainder of their swarm launches a strike on the homeland, but I doubt it could be something so obvious. The Home Guard's units have had time to mobilize to defend Equestria, and Chrysalis must know this. We’re missing something, and damned if I know what it could even be!”

“Luna, you mentioned something about another changeling plan before, didn’t you?” Celestia asked, turned to her younger sister.

Luna nodded. “It’s just a feeling I had, based on the actions of the changelings since they've occupied the city.”

“Care to elaborate, Lulu?” Discord asked, refilling his glass with whipped cream, fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

“They don’t look like they’re preparing an attack to break through our forces surrounding the Empire, but at the same time they don’t appear to be settling in for a terribly long occupation,” the Night Princess explained. “I’ve noticed them surrounding the Crystal Palace with some sort of goop, but that’s it. Plus, none of the changelings brought any cold weather clothing with them, and only those on patrol have even raided clothing stores for anything. It seems like they have something going on in the Crystal Palace, and when it’s finished, they plan on bugging out.”

“Oi, leave the puns to the professionals,” Discord said with a little grin.

“Sorry, that was unintentional,” Luna sighed, a hoof massaging her temple.

“Do you have any clue what they might be up to in the Palace?” Celestia asked hopefully.

“Sadly, no. They’re keeping me locked away in some smaller room in the dungeons, and since the changeling occupation, I’ve only seen bits of the upper floors and the dining hall.”

Suddenly, a blast of heat bombarded her, rolling around her face and stifling the air in the room. She turned in surprise as Celestia reared up in her seat, her mane transforming from an ethereal, flowing rainbow to a roaring curtain of fire as hot as the surface of the sun. “She locked you in the Crystal Dungeons!?” She barked, flames rolling off her seat. “That little bug bitch! I’ll…”

“Calm sister! I’m inside some magic-sapping cocoon! It’s really somewhat comfortable, in its own way!” Luna gasped, holding up her hooves to calm her sibling.

At that, the flames retreated, leaving behind a pattern of scorch marks and a few errant flames with the alicorn at their center. Taking a few deep breaths, Celestia calmly sat back in her seat. “If you say so, Luna,” she seethed. “But if Chrysalis thinks she’s going to walk away from this, she has another thing coming.”

“Criminy, and I thought Lulu was the emotional one,” Discord mused, quietly taking a sip of his drink while leaning back in his seat. Immediately, a curl of flame jetted across the table and hit him square in the stomach, spilling him head over hoof/talon as he spat out what drink was in his mouth.

“Kidding, kidding!” He gasped, pulling himself to his feet and cradling his head. He resettled himself in his chair, shaking his head to clear it. “Okay, this resolves a few unknowns, but it still leaves us with one very important question: just what is Chrysalis planning that requires her to occupy the Crystal Empire?”

“Again, I have no idea,” Luna replied sadly. “But I might have some clue as to where we can find out: the Queen’s dreams.”

Immediately, the draconequus and elder Alicorn lit up, not even noticing that she'd announced this plan with all the enthusiasm of a high school jock at a Dungeons and Dragons convention. “Brilliant, Lulu!” Discord gasped.

“Why didn’t we think of it sooner!?” Celestia gasped ecstatically.

“Because there’s one tiny problem,” Luna replied. “I have no idea where in the dream-stream Chrysalis’s dreams would be, or what her subconscious current looks like.”

The other beings’ expressions fell every bit as quickly as they’d risen. “Oh,” Celestia sighed, her mane drooping. “I guess that makes sense: otherwise, you’d have seen something like this coming, right?”

“Trust me, it’s not for lack of trying,” Luna grumbled. “The idea to find it hit me the moment Cadence and Shining Armor said their vows, and I’ve been scouring the collective subconscious for it every night since.”

“Darn,” Discord sighed, swirling his drink in his grasp. “So, back to square one?”

“Looks like it,” Luna shook her head out of frustration. “I swear, if there was just something we knew about her, something personal that only she would know, something that would make her mind stick out amongst the others…”

It hit her all at once. She had just leaned back, ready for another sip at her wine, when she sputtered against it. “Curse me for a fool,” she muttered.

Celestia cocked her head. “Sister?”

“I know something,” Luna said. “I know one word that will light her mind up like the Northern Lights.”

“You do!?” Both Celestia and Discord gasped. Luna nodded.

“Of course, it helps that we know she’s in the Crystal Empire,” Luna added. “That narrows it down, and I think I might have a way to make her stand out just so.”

“Well? Out with it, Sister! Don’t keep your Tia out of the loop!”

Apparently, that doesn’t extend to monsters like my kind, does it?

Luna bit her lip, started to speak, then closed her muzzle again. Chrysalis’s hurt glare burned in her mind’s eye. “If it’s all the same to you, Tia, I’d rather keep that private. This is something that can only be handled by me and me alone, after all, and I would appreciate your trust on it.”

Celestia blinked, obviously not expecting that answer, but that little prod at Tia trusting her got Luna what she wanted. “Okay, Lulu, I trust you,” she said quietly, easing back into her chair.

"It still sounds too simple," Discord frowned, the goblet rising to his lips again, but more out of habit than a need for sugar-filled Anthony Hopkins references.

"It's all we have," Celestia said, staring down into the barely-touched mashed potatoes on her plate. She sighed; garlic mashed potatoes were usually her favorite. "I move we reconvene again tomorrow evening, to go over anything Luna might have found...

"...or not," she added quietly, disguising the words and the worried look on her face with a well-timed spoonful of mashed potatoes and a few carefully-coordinated movements of her wings and forelegs.

"Well, I guess I should get started," Luna said, pushing away from the table. "Time is wasting."

"Oh, Lulu, you've hardly even touched the feast you've made for us!" Celestia said.

"It's not real, Tia. Besides, I should really get to work. Finding this dream might be our best shot at stopping Chrysalis and saving the Empire!"

"I should probably get going, too," Discord sighed, standing up from his chair, which promptly exploded behind him. "I've got to get up early if I want to plant stink bombs in the officer's mess before anyone gets there."

"And that's my cue to wake myself up," Celestia said, taking a final, dainty sip of wine before folding her napkin on the table and standing out of her seat.

"Oh, come now Tia," Discord pouted, a pogo stick and a helmet materializing in his grip with little poofs of talcum powder. "Must you always spoil my fun?"

"Who said we weren't gonna have fun when you woke up?" She asked, a sultry little half-smile on her muzzle.

"Well, you just...oh!" His eyebrows raced up near his horns, continuing on far past his head to hang out a few yards over his scalp. "Oh! Princess, you! Just...you!"

"Hurry up," she cooed, leaning onto the table and puckering her lips seductively, her wings splayed out behind her. "I'll be waiting."

"Hoo-hoo!" He grinned as he mounted his pogo stick. "AH'M GON' GET LAID!"

He sang happily as he pogoed right out of the room, blasting a hole through the wall. Just then, a massive bouquet of harpoons went whistling right by his head. "Missed me!" He yelled, disappearing into the nether waiting for him outside.

Luna shivered as he left. "I nearly forgot you two were together during all this."

"Yeah," Celestia smiled sheepishly.

Just outside the hole Discord had disappeared through, a few loud explosions sounded, the ground rocking with each blast. "MINE FIELD DODGE!" He screamed amidst the near-cavalcade of explosions sounding all around him. A few flecks of plaster drifted onto the sisters’ snouts from the ceiling, dislodged by the blasts.

"I will never know what you see in him," the Night Princess grumbled, shaking her head after the draconequus as he disappeared into the distance, dodging floating mines, automated crossbows, and flying minivans.

Celestia just smiled and nuzzled the smaller Alicorn again. “You’ll understand when you fall in love, sister,” her tone grew searing hot, her voice reaching temperatures to rival her sun. “And you will get that chance, if I have to fight my way to the Crystal Palace and pull you out of there myself.”

Luna clenched her teeth. She loved her sister dearly, but when she got angry, the Princess of the Sun was scarier than a manticore duct-taped to a grizzly bear. “Hopefully, that won’t be necessary. If we can figure out what Chrysalis is up to, we can force her out without anypony firing a shot.”

“Good luck,” Celestia whispered, giving her sister a little kiss on the forehead. “And be safe. Please.”

“I’ll try my best,” Luna replied with a little wink, and then she spread her wings out and took off, propelling herself back out of the dream sphere and into the great, subconscious stream. Fanning her wings, she hovered in place and twisted in mid-air, looking back at her sister’s dream current. As she watched, another stream split off her sister’s gentle yellow flow, this one a deep brown, chocolate milk oozing off its surface as it corkscrewed in the stream. She rolled her eyes as the little current twisted and turned, eventually spelling out “WHATTUP MOONCHEEKS” in cursive before suddenly rocketing up to the stream’s surface, signaling its owner’s waking.

“How very mature, Discord. Very well-put,” she mumbled to herself, flapping deeper into the stream.

Author's Notes:

Triple update man! ALL THE WAY!

Chapter XXI: Nightmare (Warning: Explicit Content!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following chapter includes some pretty gory stuff, please read at your own discretion.

As she had done every night since the invasion of Canterlot, Luna lit her horn, lightning bolts searing off its tip and crackling all around her, dissipating throughout the stream. This time, however, a single word crackled through the air around them: Monster.

There. If that didn’t catch the bug-bitch, she didn’t know what would. All that was left now was to wait for something to return, an echo bouncing off that word humming through somepony’s – or, someling’s – subconscious. In the meantime, all she had left to do was to sit and wait, thinking about escape plans, about fortifying herself against anything Chrysalis might try to steal some information right out of her skull, and most decidedly not about the idiot that had wooed her sister and was now free to turn her moon into cotton candy on a whim and toy with her subjects’ hearts and…and make her sister so totally and completely happy, so much happier than she’d ever seen her, even in the days before his arrival when it was just them in…

She opened her eyes, watching a few tear droplets hang in front of her face, suspended in the stream. Cursing to herself, she shook her head and stamped her forehooves together. She was strong. She was the Princess of the Night! She was the warrior-ruler, capable of beating down just about anything the night had ever thrown at her, be it a rabid manticore in the Everfree or a group of thugs who thought she would make an easy ransom (they thought wrong, of course. Very wrong).

Finally, a few sparks leapt from her horn. All angst and anxiety disappeared from Luna’s mind, buried under a squee of triumph. “Finally found you!” She sang, sailing off into the stream, pursuing the sparks’ origin like a bloodhound caught on a criminal’s scent.

“Found you! I found youuu!” She continued like a child winning a round of hide and seek, skipping happily towards a little current. As she approached, she groaned audibly, squinting at the little thread of glowing, black light that occasionally shimmered green. It was just so obvious! Why did it take so long to find the cursed thing?

“Okay, calm down Lulu, you’ve found it, and that’s what matters,” she whispered, the little current wafting past. It was odd: she had expected the Queen’s dream current to slither or hiss by, but it just sort of drifted lightly, a bit like her own, or Tia’s. The Princess frowned. For a creature of such obvious evil, her dream current looked rather normal. Kind of pretty, in its own, dark way.

Shrugging, Luna took a deep breath and plunged into the current, readying herself for anything. Just what would occupy the Changeling Queen’s mind? War? Torture? Conquest? Canterlot in flames? Ponies being enslaved?

She opened her eyes again. Darkness greeted her. She sighed in a strange combination of relief and disappointment. The Queen must have been between dreams, her mind suspended in that strange twilight between REM fits. Not that she’d been hoping to find war and torture and an image of the Queen dancing over a bound image of her sister, but as it stood, she’d now have to dive into the changeling’s subconscious on her own.

“Wonderful,” she sighed. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. Most normal ponies’ subconscious minds were a total hodgepodge of repressed memories and barely-formed emotions, a dumping ground for whatever the conscious mind couldn’t deal with, or just didn’t want to deal with. Now, if that pony was immortal, things could get a whole lot nastier. A normal pony’s subconscious was icky enough, but give someone a few centuries to screw their own psyches up, and they could come up with a whole lot of wretched things to dump down there. She remembered the one time she attempted to dive into her sister’s subconscious, back when she was barely a few centuries old and still exploring her powers as the Princess of the Night. That excursion had ended with her running through a city filled with buildings that looked like her mother’s teats, dodging a pink-maned version of Celestia wielding a six-foot long purple dildo. And her sister was one of the good guys, she didn’t even want to think about what might be in some villain’s head!

Luna took a few deep, quivering breaths, keeping her attention on a group of blotches and swirling colors gathering in the distance, dancing in the darkness like a bunch of marionettes under the control of someone in the middle of a seizure. It hurt to watch, seeing all those colors still a few minutes away from being fully-formed thoughts and notions, but she forced her gaze on them, squinting to keep the worst of the effects away.

The colors reared up and gathered together, the gray, half-formed fluid molding itself into a gaping maw that stretched over her, towering and foreboding. The colors and shapes formed into a cloud, with immediately formed into a cave covered in rock, black as the deepest night, yet glowing with that same strange, fluorescent green that apparently accompanied everything the changelings created. A few more wisps twisted around themselves to form stalactites and little random pebbles on the floor. Lifting her nose to the air, Luna sniffed, inhaling that dank mustiness that hung in the air of every cave.

“This must be the changeling homeland,” she whispered under her breath, peering into the darkness. That explained the level of detail: of course Chrysalis would know every rock in this place, every stone pillar. The smell would always be there as well. Scent was the closest sense tied to memory, after all, she remembered Twilight rattling that little statistic off at some point.

“Twilight…” she whispered, taking a few tentative steps into the yawning maw. Remembering why she was doing this pushed her onward, though she resisted the urge to take off at a dead gallop. The dream was still forming, after all. It wouldn’t do to blunder right out of it and back into Chrysalis’s subconscious, sent spinning and turning back into the darkness to wait for another dream to come by.

“So, this is it?” She muttered, looking around. Her voice echoed off the stone walls perfectly (and why shouldn’t it when the dreamer had spent a lifetime listening to that echo?), reassuring her, helping bury that urge to go flying off into the darkness as fast as she could in a wild search for whatever it was she could be looking for. “I must say, this is mildly disappointing. One would think such a massive civilization would be able to create something like…”

Her voice trailed off as she rounded a corner and nearly stepped into thin air. She paused and gasped, triggering another echo as a pebble, dislodged by her trot, flecked off the ledge and sailed into the darkness. She watched as it bounced off something, a tiny clack echoing around her. Hunching her eyebrows, she gazed off into the dark, letting loose another gasp to bounce off the cavernous walls as a thousand dark tendrils materialized, tracing out a cavern big enough to hold Canterlot castle itself, all lit up with green lanterns to put her own stars to shame. A castle materialized before her eyes, dark minarets and towers rising into existence, all aglow like Canterlot at night, but again with green fluorescence rather than a candle’s warm glow. The scraggly towers sat atop fortress walls to put the ancient garrisons she knew and loved to shame, accessible only by a wrought-iron portcullis, with a drawbridge spanning a canyon so deep she didn’t even want to think about how far down it might go.

“…ahem…yes, something like that,” she added, trying very hard to sound nonplussed. Noting the black staircase appearing before her, she slowly trotted down into the cavern, reaching the great bridge and traveling over its wooden surface. She took note of the heavy way her hooves sounded on the ancient, creaking wood, the way the massive chains suspending it clanked as she trotted along. Obviously, Chrysalis was not the kind of ruler to just sit in her room all day while lazily passing decrees and making the occasional appearance at state functions. Only someone who trotted over this bridge a thousand times would remember this distinct sort of creak.

She paused just before the portcullis, the wrought-iron prongs decorating its underside looking very suddenly like teeth. It was an apt metaphor: she had no idea what she might encounter in there, but if she wasn’t careful, it could gobble her down as easily as any monster, leaving her a vegetable floating in her own juices in the Crystal Dungeons. Most ponies’ nightmares might never have accomplished that, she was an all-powerful night goddess after all. But this was Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings! Who’s to say she had never encountered something worse? Something not even the Princess of Night could handle?

Needless to say, Luna wasn’t seriously considering just turning around and leaving. Her duties to her country and her need to help her friends would never have allowed that, not in a million years. But then there was that subconscious fear anyone would feel when standing over some deep ledge, looking down, and seeing an unknowable darkness. She wasn’t considering backing out, but some of that bravado she’d had when she first walked into this place had taken quite the hit.

Then a scream echoed through the cavern. Something high-pitched, and filled with fear. This wasn’t the scream a filly emitted when she opened up her presents on Hearthswarming and found that new toy she’d been gazing at through a store window for a month and a half, and it wasn’t that little yip that same filly might let out when she turned on the lights and discovered a centipede skittering along the wall. This was the sort of drawn-out cry one might hear from a housewife’s lungs when the stallions in full armor showed up at the door, removed their helmets, and informed her that papa wasn’t coming home. This was the scream of someone in the middle of a visit to some beloved family member’s hospital bed when the EKG printout suddenly flatlined and they realized nana’s little nap was going to be much, much longer than expected. This was a cry of pure, emotional agony, only ever emitted when somepony realized all hope was lost, and that their world had forever changed into something terrible and unrecognizable.

Running off pure instinct, the Princess took off across the castle’s courtyard at a dead gallop, all worries for her own safety forgotten like so much luggage at the castle entrance. Judging from the direction of the scream, it sounded a bit like it came from somewhere deep within the castle’s keep: a heavily fortified tower standing at the center of the courtyard. The tower stretched up into the sky, a few scraggly spires with a large, center structure, all pointed and black, of course. The occasional, asymmetrical window lit up the tower here and there, yet that wasn’t what gave Luna pause at the heavily-fortified, stone entrance.

The moment she set hoof inside, the air grew stuffier, like trying to breathe through a mass of cotton balls. That oppressive heat growing in her chest was followed with a stench like rotting meat and infected wounds, a sour sort of smell that invited every thought and memory of death. And then there was the atmosphere of the place, a feeling that clung to the air itself and seemed to fill the body more with each breath. Fear and terror bombarded her senses with all the same realness as that rotten smell, with just a hint of some sadistic enjoyment of it all. Something was very wrong here. Something horrible was waiting for her in this place, something which made its home amongst death and showered in the blood of everyone and everything around it. Something evil the likes of which Equestria had rarely seen in its entire history, and which could make Chrysalis appear like a little filly playing in the garden by comparison.

“Not real,” she repeated to herself, plunging inside like someone taking a step off a diving board. Just had to do it fast, before her mind caught up with what her body was doing. She continued the chant in between short gasps of breath to keep as much of that fetid air out of her lungs as possible. “Not real. None of it. Not real. Not real. Not real.”

She took her first, shaking steps under the arch of the stone doorway, the door squeaking open on hinges in desperate need of an oiling. The shriek they unleashed as the door swung open was not too unlike the scream that had lured her inside. Of course, the moment she stepped a few feet away from the door, it slammed shut with a rumbling thud, casting the already-darkened hallway into pitch blackness. She’d been expecting this, however, and so the illumination spell she’d had prepared from the moment she stepped under the stone archway was all set and ready to go within a blink of the eye.

She squinted through the eerie, deep-blue light. Unsurprisingly, it lit up a circle barely five feet around her, not even enough to touch both walls at the same time, or to make out a ceiling. The darkness itself seemed to suck the light right out of the air, swallowing it like some deep, foreboding monster hiding in the shadows. Just what you’d expect in a nightmare.

A few steps in, and a changeling reared up at her, its fangs bared, its head appearing out of the darkness. Luna took a few quick steps back, the circle of light immediately transforming into a shield bubble to buy her a few extra seconds, a hoof rising reflexively to fend off any attack. Yet the changeling remained where it was, locked in place, fangs still bared. Curious, the Princess set her hoof down and took a few steps forward. “Hello?” She asked, the light slowly working its way along the changeling’s body, revealing more of its figure.

As light spilled over the creature’s hind quarters, she gasped and darted back again, resisting the urge to gag. She turned away, her eyes wide, a hoof jammed into her mouth to suppress the gag still threatening to rise from her stomach. Once the feeling subsided and the urge to upchuck passed, Luna shook herself and took those next few steps forward.

Beneath the waist, the changeling was gone. Just gone. Green, fluorescent blood soaked the rock beneath what remained, with a trail leading off into the darkness behind it. “It…dragged itself here,” she said, her voice sounding unsteady in the darkness. “It was sliced in half…and it just dragged itself along until it…bled out.”

Now it was obvious. The changeling’s fangs weren’t bared in fury, but in shock and terror. It had been in the last moments of life, dragging itself along by its forehooves, the pain unimaginable, and as the lights dimmed it had let out a silent prayer: no, please! Please! Not now! Not like this, alone, in the dark! Please! Don’t let me die…don’t let me...

She turned away again, dry heaving. She wished there was an echo when she’d gasped earlier. That would’ve been something. As it was, the darkness swallowed up every sound, just like it did her light. For the first time that night, she seriously debated turning back. It was obvious there was nothing useful in this wretched place. Journeying further would just reveal more terrors; more things to make both her and the black Queen turn over in their sleep. Thing was…

…there’s still that scream. Someone else was in this hell, right in the midst of the same tortures that had ended the life of the poor soul before her. Imagined or real, changeling or pony, she could never in good conscience leave anyone in such a terrible state. It wasn’t just a matter of being a princess, but a matter of being a fellow sapient being! What sort of kind, loving soul would leave someone suffering here just out of fear?

“The sort unworthy of the title ‘Princess’,” she muttered to herself, a hoof tapping the tiara in her mane. Focusing a bit more magic in her horn, she stepped deeper into the darkness, her magic straining to fight back the darkness with every step. As she walked into the endless void, the strain grew visibly more, the darkness clawing at her light. “Not real, not real, not real…” she repeated.

The hallway remained, for the most part, featureless. Every now and again, an old, crusted green bloodstain would greet her, or a disembodied leg would appear. She passed a room filled with webby fluid she recognized as the remnants of changeling egg sacs, but with charred remnants and scorch marks where the eggs were meant to be. She tried very, very hard not to imagine what had happened there, not to imagine the tiny bodies all curled up in their gestation chambers, unaware as some horrifying wretch danced among them, a flame in one hand and some sort of accelerant in the other…the tiny bodies resting blissfully until the beginnings of flames began curling against the exterior of their sacs…the little ones turning over uncomfortably as the fluid inside slowly rose to a boil…

“Not real…” she whimpered pathetically. “Not real…not real…

The next horror came once she reached the bottom of a staircase, looked up, and let out a high-pitched cry. The torch sconces lining the stairs each had a changeling head substituting for a flame, each jaw agape in horror, each set of cold, pupil-less eyes wide-open, all spiraling with the stairs up into the darkness. The sheer absurdity of it, the twisted, demented genius behind it, was too much for her. The Princess’s knees finally buckled and she fell with a deep thud, her stomach meeting cold concrete. Her body collapsed against the stairs, the edge of the first step digging into her shoulder. Even when Nightmare Moon’s evil had infected her mind, nothing this wretched had ever occurred to her.

“What is this?” She gasped, fighting back tears but unable to keep her voice from cracking frantically. “Just what kind of horror could this nightmare be reenacting!? What could possibly justify this much fear!?” She should run. Whatever was up there, it held nothing but terror for her, and she should just run and run and run until she was as far away from this place as she could get, with as many cities, countries, and preferably continents as possible between her and this damned, cursed tower.

Then the crying started.

At first, she thought it might be coming from her own throat, as if she’d lost all connections with her own body and had started crying without realizing it, like some horror story cliché. But after sealing her own mouth and forcing her throat to lock up, she realized just how wrong she was. The crying rolled towards her from somewhere high up in the darkness, past the gaping jaws and terrified gazes of the changeling heads. It was the sort of cry you’d expect from a small, terrified child, lost in the woods, wondering where mommy and daddy were. The sort of cry you might hear from a lost teenager cowering in some hiding spot in an old, dark house, trying to tell themselves that the heavy footfalls outside were just the wind. Slowly, her hooves shaking, the Princess pushed herself up, her body rising from the glossy, black floor. “Not real…not real…none of it’s real…”

The hallway at the top of those long, endless stairs had been transformed into a slaughterhouse. Changelings hung from the ceiling, bits and pieces missing from their bodies, hooks piercing through the holes in each of their hooves. The chitin around each of the hooks was cracked and bleeding without exception, allowing blood to dribble down each body in irregular drizzles and streams. And then, to her horror, she realized there were pony bodies dangling amongst the changelings. Two of them: a mare with a hot pink coat and a stallion with a strawberry blonde, short-cropped mane, both with their mouths hanging open, frozen in a silent scream of horror, their eyes rolled back until only the whites were visible. Green goop from changeling containment pods mixed with blood in a thick fluid matted to their coats. Luna’s eyes wondered unbidden from those horrified expressions, where she discovered the hooks pierced through their fetlocks like so much meat in a freezer.

“Nuh…no…” she gasped, stumbling over the ground until she collided with the far wall. Her eyes pinched themselves shut, trying to shut out the horrors swinging in the darkness behind her, but she couldn’t keep those dead, rolled-back eyes from rising in her mind’s eye. Insane… she realized. This must be what going insane feels like. I shouldn’t have come here…this isn’t real…shouldn’t have come here…not real not real NOT REAL OH MY MAKER ABOVE…

Another sob brought her back down to reality. “Not real,” she whispered, her voice solid and confident again. “The product of a tortured mind, yes, but not real, not real, not real…”

A breeze drifted through the hall, and voices followed it. She heard mostly the characteristic hiss of changelings in natural form, but there were one or two ponies in there too. They whispered through Luna’s ears: You were supposed to protect us…Why? Why did you fail us…I died screaming…

She clenched her teeth in a desperate bid to fight back the voices, her hooves locking over her ears. “Not real! Not real! Not real!”

She trailed off, finding the strength to stand again as the wind and the voices faded. Her hooves quaked unsteadily amongst the blood coating the floor, both the red and the green mixing together into an eerie purple. It would have been poetic if it hadn’t been so unbelievably wrong. She turned to the massive door she had come here for: a large, wooden thing this time, set in a stone arch, as was apparently tradition amongst changelings. A humongous knocker hung on its surface, but she didn’t even bother with it. She took a few deep breaths, muttered a few more “not real’s” to herself, and pushed through with a shoulder that shook violently as she forced her way past.

Chrysalis’s throne sat at the other end of a black cavern, against the far wall. It dominated the room, reaching up almost to the green, glowing stalactites that decorated it and provided illumination. Its back was divided into spires, much like the structure it inhabited, and seated in the glossy, black structure was a certain someling Luna knew only too well. The changeling sat with her head slumped, mossy green hair cascading over her eyes, forehooves splayed out over the armrests of the throne.

“Chrysalis?” Luna asked, taking a few, tentative steps towards her.

The changeling bolted upright, fear-filled eyes locking with Luna’s own. The Alicorn paused mid-step. The Queen’s eyes were puffy and swollen, and not just from tears. The trace of blood polluting some of the green of her irises told of endless beatings, probably a few nights spent with wounds that should have been tended to by doctors. Her chitin was cracked in places, and her fangs had been chipped by something slamming into her mouth repeatedly. Worse yet, a chain was locked around her neck, held in place with a heavy padlock. Luna could see scuffs and scratches on the chitin around her throat where the chain had been used like a leash. Something told her that if Chrysalis were to turn around, she might find even more along the back of her neck, where the chain would have been used to tow her around like an irate dog.

And then there were the eyes. Massive bags hung under the changeling’s eyes, but despite this they were as wide as dinner plates. Tired and fearful. It was a look she’d seen on too many mares with husbands who liked to blow all their bits at the local tavern, mares who’s manes fell out at an early age from the fear of that one night he would come home with just that right number of beers sloshing around in his belly to take the nightly beating a few hits too far.

“Chrysalis,” Luna gasped, taking a few more steps towards her supposed nemesis, sympathy oozing from her heart. “What’s happened…”

“Don’t come!” Chrysalis barked, shrinking back against the throne. “Don’t! Don’t come any closer!”

“Chrysalis, why?” Luna asked, still shocked at the wretched sight before her. “What’s happened to you? What could be so traumatic that…”

“I said don’t come, you idiot!” She screamed. “He’ll know! He always knows!”

“He?” A few steps closer, and Luna stretched out a hoof, offering it to the changeling. “Who’s he?”

The expression on the fallen queen’s face locked into absolute terror. She shrank even deeper into her throne, whimpering, tears welling in her eyes. It only took a moment for Luna to recognize the old cliché. Behind me…

“That would be me, stupid little pony,” a snide, deep voice cackled behind her. Luna’s wings seized up, straightening out in the air reflexively. She turned her wide, haunted gaze around, and faced down pure evil itself.

A massive, powerfully built changeling stallion reared up behind him and grinned at her, saliva dripping off rows of razor-sharp fangs. The stallion stood at least a head taller than Luna, his crew-cut, teal mane disheveled and tinged with crusty remnants of blood and viscera, his eyes looking at her with the sort of hungry look she might have seen through the bars of a maximum-security dungeon or an asylum for sex offenders, a look that froze her heart just looking at it.

“Wh-what…” she swallowed, shivered. “What are you!?”

“I gotta say,” the gruff, gravel-filled voice of the stallion filled the halls with all the warmth of a serial killer talking to the bailiffs marching him to the hangman’s noose. “I didn’t know my little Chryssy wanted to bring her friends around to play. If I’d known, I would’ve saved some of myself for you, sweet thing.”

A whimper behind her caught Luna’s attention, and she whirled around to find that the adult Chrysalis had been replaced with a sniffling filly, looking back at her with massive, teal eyes, rubbing a tiny hoof at her tear-soaked cheeks. The filly looked beyond Luna with a thousand-yard stare, the sort of look that belonged on the faces of soldiers returning to war and stallions that had lost their families to house fires, but never on little filly’s faces, never so terribly blank a look on a filly’s face. It wasn’t right. It simply shouldn’t have been allowed to be. Yet here it was, and when Luna turned back to face the nightmarish stallion, the latest offense to seize her senses took hold as a massive, black growth sprouted out between his legs, growing in size and strength as he leered at her.

Luna’s muzzle twisted in utter revulsion as her eyes flitted from the stallion’s growing erection to his smug grin, her gaze flitting from one to the other as if she were watching a sideways tennis match. She had to swallow back vomit at the mere implication of what this disfigured thing in front of her was implying, but she did so with the help of a good, dear friend: Burning Homicidal Rage.

“You. Dare!?” She spat, taking a step forward, her wings flaring. “You, a mere pony’s daydream, dare imply that to the Princess of the Night!?”

All at once, the thing before her shuffled back. Its fetid, black growth wilted beneath it as it backed off. “I am…”

“Who fucking cares!?” She bellowed as her hoof smashed across the thing’s face in a powerful roundhouse. Several blood-covered fangs flew free, clattering to the floor as the things chin hit the tiled ground. “I am thy Princess, thy ruler, thy goddess. Ye are nothing but the quivering, gelatinous mass caught beneath mine hoof, waiting to be scrap'd off at the nearest curbside! A wretched, lowly cur, a shadow of what yearns to be reality, an impertinent, fool-born blind-worm! For this, thou shalt stand in fire up to the navel and in ice up to th'heart, and there th'offending part burns and the deceiving part freezes f’r this insult, this laughable attempt on our hon’r!”

Still, the nightmarish thing stood before her. Its hoof reached up to its cheek, massaging at the wounded part of its face, the chitin now turning dark brown with an ugly bruise. Between its hind legs, the growth which had been so imposing before now shrank until it practically sucked up into its body.

“Hast thou nothing to say f'r this embarassment!?” Luna growled.

The creature, stunned beyond words, merely rubbed at its cheek and shook its head.

“Then begone from our sight,” Luna said, turning away with a huff. “We have wasted enough of our precious sleeping time on thee; thou mangled knotty-pated maggot-pie.”

A few moments later, the rushing sound of a nightmarish construct vanishing behind her filled her ears. Luna didn’t even bother turning around, instead opening her eyes. Before her, Chrysalis sat up in her throne, eyes wide, hooves splayed out comically, gone were the chain and the collar and scuffed and dented chitin and, most importantly, the fear. Instead, she looked at Luna as if the Princess had just materialized from the air itself.

“Luna?” She asked, looking around the throne room as if she were expecting answers to what was going on to leap out at her from the darkened corners. “Wh-what are you…”

And then she was gone, the little threads of thought and emotion holding the dream together scattering like so much dust in the wind, leaving nothing but the empty blackness of Chrysalis’s subconscious. Gasping heavily, Luna closed her eyes and counted backwards from five. When they opened again, she was back in her cocoon, sealed up in a sub-basement deep beneath the Crystal Palace. She heaved a heavy sigh, breathing in the changeling fluid and wincing with the still-fresh injuries coating her physical body.

“That was…intense…” she mumbled to herself, shaking the sleep from her eyes and pressing a hoof to her forehead. Indeed, that had been one of the most intense nightmares she’d ever needed to rescue anyone from, pony or changeling. That sort of nightmare could only be born of the purest, most total fear, the kind of fear only some horrific trauma could summon. When Luna’s eyes opened again, that old steely determination had returned in them. She needed to have a little chat with the Queen.

Chapter XXII: Flutters 'n Switch, Take Two

AUTHOR'S NOTE: We now return you to your regularly scheduled, cutesy shipfic

Fluttershy’s eyes drifted open, and immediately shut again, squeezing tight. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to still be stuck. She didn’t want…

No, I need to be brave. For Pinkie. For everypony. With a shiver, she swallowed her fear and slowly opened her eyes, squinting at first, then slowly creasing open. She stared up into the pale, green goop that filled her prison, taking a shivering gasp to swallow a bit of it. The stuff was about as bland as anything could get, but it was there, and it did make her feel a little better. Her mind drifted back to the hatchery, and her heart warmed. Even if the hatchlings were the reason for her exhaustion, she still felt a surge of warmth at the memory of their nubby fangs and tiny little eyes, gazing up at her with the pure love that only a baby could know.

Just like before, a black shape filled her vision, blurred by the translucent walls of the tiny prison. She cringed and nestled deeper into the cocoon, trying to make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible, but it was no use. The cocoon burst open and a pair of powerful forehooves wrapped around her body, pulling her into the light. With a resigned sigh, she allowed herself to be carried and laid onto the floor of her prison, the large, scarred changeling from before towering over her.

She closed her eyes against the light. The fear was gone; she was too numb to feel that anymore. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy her time in the light before she was thrust back into the darkness, made to languish in there for who knows how many hours in her own…

Something cold and moist nudged gently against her lips. Her eyes darted open, her vision filled with a tall glass of yellow fluid. Sitting up, she looked up at her captor, the same, large changeling with the scar over his eye as the day before, sitting back on his haunches and watching her with his one good eye. “I…gotcha a glass of lemonade this time, just in case,” he said, rubbing one foreleg against the other bashfully.

Keeping her wide, nervous eyes on him, she slowly crept forward and snatched the glass up in her hooves, giving it a few testing sniffs. The changeling moved his head in a circular motion that could be construed as rolling his eyes, if he'd had pupils. "Again? Are we gonna do this every time I getcha something to drink?"

Shaking her head fearfully, she downed the lemonade and laid the glass back in its original place, backing away to let him do whatever it was he wanted with it. "Thank you," she whispered.

The changeling's eyes widened, as if she'd just told it her grandmother was Discord himself, then the old stoicism came flooding back and he nodded, a stern look scrunching up his muzzle. "I just...can't have you passing out while you're performing your duties for the hatchery, is all. But...uh...you're welcome," he hissed, his words stumbling over themselves in a rush to get out of his mouth.

The pegasus arched an eyebrow at him. "Um...the hatchlings need to be fed again? So soon?"

"What do you mean by 'soon'?" He asked, pulling her collar and padlock out from beside her cocoon, as he had the day before. "You do realize half a day's passed since you fed them, right?"

Her massive, bright-blue eyes grew even larger, her jaw dropping. She barely even cringed or flinched when he drew close to apply her collar and snap the lock shut around her neck again. "Twelve hours!?" She gasped.

"Yeah. Try to go easier this time," he replied, holding the door open for her. "Hatchlings will feed until they're full: they don't know how to pace themselves like us adults. You shouldn't exhaust your love reserves every feeding."

"I-I'll try," she said quietly, following him out the door and into the hallway again. After a few steps, his larger stride allowed him to outpace the her, leaving her to trot along with her thoughts. Just where were her friends? She knew Pinkie and the Princess had been captured, but what about everypony else? Did they escape? And what about the rest of Equestria? Had the changelings invaded everywhere, or was the Crystal Empire it? And which one was more terrifying: the possibility that the Empire was only the first in a long list of conquests, or that Canterlot was somehow powerless to do anything about the occupation? Her head swam with questions, her eyes swirling about in her skull, only ending after she passed under a certain window. This time, it was covered maybe halfway with more of that strange, green goop, with what had to be the same changeling from the day before still working on covering it. Once again, he took one peek through the glass and hissed down at her, and once again, she took to galloping in fright. This time, the larger changeling scooped her up in his magic before she could even get anywhere.

He waited and watched patiently as she ran herself ragged, her eyes finally falling open as her exhausted hooves dangled limply from her body. She looked down into his ice-cold eyes, meeting the gaze of that milky-white, scarred orb. “I-I wasn’t…” she started.

“I know,” he interrupted, his voice still a threatening, multi-layered hiss. “I saw. Don’t worry; that’s just Dave.”

Fluttershy blinked a few times, scanning the changeling’s face to try and see if he was being serious. His expression remained in its usual neutral. “Dave?” She asked incredulously.

“Yeah, it’s a weird name, but there are only so many bug-based names out there,” he shrugged. “Don’t worry about him, he’s just a dick. Always has been. Probably pissed because he got such a weird name.”

“Oh. O-okay,” she said, wide-eyes still staring into his own. After a few minutes, the pegasus shifted uncomfortably. The changeling was still staring right into her eyes. Even when she retreated into her own mane, hiding one eye behind a few rosette curls, she still found his good eye locked on hers. “…Uh, um…you can let me down now?”

“What?” The changeling paused and drew back, as if snapping out of a trance. Shaking his head, he looked at the little pony still hovering in his magic and his eyes widened. “Ah, right,” he set her down gently, almost delicately, as if she were an ultra-rare, ultra-delicate glass figurine.

“Sorry about that, got a little distracted,” he said, opening the nursery’s door. Nodding, the pegasus trotted by under his foreleg, extended to hold the door for her. She waited for him as he carefully affixed the tether to the ring on the wall; once again giving it a few testing tugs, not even noticing the longing looks she shot over her shoulder at the hatchlings.

“Now,” he said, still looking the ring over. “Remember what I said: don’t exhaust yourself every single time. It’s unnecessary, and all it’ll do is make you really…”

Suddenly, the tether stretched taut, nearly whipping him in the cheek. “Why hello again, little one!” Her voice cooed behind him.

“…you haven’t heard a single word I’ve said, have you?” The changeling sighed, pressing a forehoof to his head and turning around. As expected, Fluttershy was cuddling yet another hatchling, pressing its swaddled, black body close to her chest, not even noticing the way the collar stretched around her throat.

“Do you remember me? Because I certainly remember you!” She sang in that oddly harmonious tone her voice possessed.

“No, he doesn’t remember you! He’s a baby! His brain’s mostly mush!” The large changeling standing vigil at the door grumbled.

Completely ignoring him, she continued cradling the little bundle until it burped and yawned, signaling a full tummy. Once again, she laid it in its goop-cradle, giving it a little kiss on the forehead and a whispered wish to have sweet dreams before flapping over to the next changeling. Once again, this changeling’s little eyes slowly peeked open, then its mouth yawned, revealing its nubby fangs behind a tiny bubble of saliva.

“Hoboy,” the large changeling groaned, this time prepared for what would come next. His hooves clamped over his ears just as the pony emitted the same high-pitched screech as the day before, this time nearly cracking the goop over the one window in the room.

“Look at him!” She announced, holding the infant up to the guard’s face as if this was the only baby ever created in all of existence. “He recognized me! You saw it, didn’t you!? He recognized me!”

“The only thing he recognized was a free meal,” he grumbled, even as she turned away and immediately focused her full, undivided attention on the tiny hatchling. The rest of the feeding session went exactly as it had the day before, each changeling removed from its crib and cuddled until it could be returned with its belly full and its horn kissed.

The only interruption in the routine came just before the final hatchling could receive the last scrap of love from the pony’s heart. Just as she lifted the little body up, the guard asked: “Why are you doing this?”

She looked at him and blinked, as if he’d just asked why the sky was blue or why pegasi had wings. “Why am I doing what?”

“You’re just – giving them your love,” he replied, motioning to the little bundle in her grasp. “Why?”

Once again, she blinked at him and gave him a look that asked if he was losing his marbles. “Because they need it,” she replied, again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah, but what do you care!?” He asked in frustration. “You ponies think we’re all a bunch of monsters! Hatchlings are just little versions of us! So why are you helping one out!?”

She furrowed her brows for a second, honestly considering his question, but then she looked to the little bundle in her hooves and smiled. She held the hatchling up to the guard’s face. “What do you see here?” She asked.

Now it was his turn to blink incredulously. “A…hatchling?”

“That’s right: a baby,” she replied, cradling the bundle close to her body. She hardly even shivered once it began feeding. “An innocent little child that has done nothing to harm anyone else, incapable of defending itself, not even able to sit up straight.”

“But…it’s harming you right now! It’s draining your love and leaving you weak and defenseless!”

“Maybe, but that’s a small price to pay to ensure something so small and innocent can live. After all, we were all the same way once, weren’t we?” She asked. “Imagine where we would be if someone hadn’t shown us that one small bit of mercy to help us out until we could stand on our own. Now, what kind of world would that be? Where one couldn’t show kindness to even a little baby?”

The changeling’s ears folded back, eyes widening. His knees buckled under his weight and he fell to his haunches. With one last little kiss, Fluttershy laid the hatchling back in its crib and looked up at her guard with a little smile, before immediately collapsing under her own weight, saved from smashing her face into the ground only by his magic.

She was barely conscious by the time he unlocked her collar again and carried her back to the holding room, once again laying her in the cocoon and zipping her in tight, and so she wasn’t there to see when once again he collapsed to the floor, clutched his chest, and groaned: “HNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHH…”

Chapter XXIII: A Royal Hearing, And Pinks 'n Bait Take Two

Chrysalis rolled her eyes down to the smaller changeling standing before her. What was his name again? Ah, yes, Bait. Damn, she should’ve known that off-hoof, but it had been yet another night spent tossing and turning, waking up screaming without knowing why, her sheets and bedclothes drenched in sweat. Her hoof went from propping her head up to rubbing along the bridge of her nose. She needed a break. No, better yet, she needed a decent night’s sleep! But the duties of the crown meant she wasn’t going to get the former, and the nightmares meant she was probably never going to get the latter. So where did that leave her? Stuck right here, in the Crystal Throne (made from solid crystal, just to make it that much less comfy and her life that much more miserable), listening to the daily summary of flagged reports from her forces throughout the Empire, just one in a thousand similar meetings she’d have to sit through that day.

“My Queen?” The small changeling sitting on his haunches at her hooves asked, a scroll hovering open in front of his face.

“Hmm? Yes?” She asked, perking up suddenly.

“If you wish, we can take a break now. You seem a bit…tired,” he replied, the chitin over one of his eyes scrunching up in the universal sign of concern.

“No, no, this is important,” the Queen waved a hoof in a slow, embellished movement, the universal sign of boredom. “Continue.”

“Well,” Bait reopened his scroll, scrunching his eyes up as he scanned it to relocate his place. “Ah, only two more items! Almost done, my Queen!” He reported happily.

“Wonderful.” Then we can move on to the advisory reports demanding love we haven’t harvested, and the generals requesting reinforcements we don’t have, and the quartermasters demanding supplies we can’t produce, and…

“It seems we’ve gotten complaints from a few ponies of their loved ones disappearing in the night, never making it home.”

“Ugh,” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “They’re probably lying dead in a gutter somewhere, either mugged by one of their fellow ponies or sucked dry by some soldier who couldn’t control himself. Happens with every occupation.”

“Yes, my Queen, of course.”

“And that last item?”

Bait bit his lip and sighed. He opened his mouth, started to say something, then quickly looked away, still nibbling at his lip.

“Oh for pity’s sake, out with it!” Chrysalis barked impatiently.

“R-right, sorry,” the smaller changeling stammered, taking a moment to recompose himself. Clearing his throat, he stood up tall and spoke in a deep voice that boomed off the room’s walls. “My Queen, there have been casualties overnight.”

“Every military campaign has those too,” she grunted, waving a hoof dismissively. “Guerrilla warfare. We can expect to lose a few hooffuls more before this is all over, I’ll wager.”

“Yes, my Queen,” Bait nodded as he bundled up his scroll. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m needed in the kitchen.”

“Of course,” the Queen waved him off. “Please send the next changeling in.”

Bait turned to go, his head hunched as he trudged along. Chrysalis arched an eyebrow as she watched him tread over the plush carpeting leading out of the room. She knew that look all too well. Her father had worn it as he paced the carpeting in his study, a tobacco pipe clenched in his thin lips, his eye patch laying on his dark-oak desk, and some terrible problem facing their swarm drawn up on his blackboard. Of course, that was when her mother had been alive, before he…

The doors slammed open, nearly falling off their hinges from the force of the blow coming from the other side. Princess Luna stood in the doorway, her hind hooves raised mid-buck. She slowly lowered them and strode across the room towards the Queen, a half dozen changelings clinging to her neck and pulling back with all their might, another two latched onto her tail. They might as well have been trying to stop a freight train for all the good it did.

Standing up from her seat, Chrysalis glared at the Princess and levelled her horn, finally forcing the Alicorn to halt in the center of the room. The pair glared at one another, Chrysalis through the glow of her horn, Luna with her head held high. The changeling grinned knowingly, though her heart had practically leapt into her throat with the raw display of sheer strength. With a grunt, Luna flicked her tail, and the small, familiar form of Bait went flying right over her head and landed at Chrysalis’s hooves, plopping alongside one of the guards she’d assigned to the dungeons.

“H-hello again, my Queen,” he said sheepishly, blinking to keep his head clear. “I know you said to send the next changeling in, but the Princess was rather…insistent.”

The changeling at Bait’s side bolted to his hooves and saluted, chest thrust out. “Apologies, your majesty. The Princess broke free during the routine draining of her containment cell’s stasis goop. There was nothing we could do.”

Chrysalis nodded to her subjects, then turned her attention to the Alicorn standing before her. She eyed the goop binding Luna’s wings and the dot still glued to the tip of her horn and shook her head, the knowing smile turning into a knowing smirk. “Looking for a rematch, Princess? It would be a bit one-sided without your magic or your wings, don’t you think?”

Luna’s eyes blazed with righteous fury, an ancient battle-thirst awakening in those night-blue pools. Chrysalis fought back the urge to wince and cower under the stare, keeping both her smirk and her magical defense up. For a few minutes, they stared one another down. The changelings remaining in the room watched, some biting their hooves with the ferocity of woodchippers sawing through giant redwoods, a couple holding one another in their embrace. The air seemed to buzz with the pure electricity produced by two tremendously-powerful forces meeting one another head-on.

To everyling’s surprise, Luna was the one to look away suddenly and sigh. “No, I came here to…ask you something.”

Chrysalis arched an eyebrow, but allowed the charge to die in her horn. “Oh? And what would that be, just out of curiosity?”

“A…do-over, for last night.”

Chrysalis’s smirk reappeared, and she slunk back to her throne, unable to resist crossing her hind legs and propping her head up on a hoof once she was seated. “Wonderful. I see we’ve grown a bit hungry for real food, eh? That feast from last night still fresh on your mind?”

Luna’s eyes jolted wide open. “You seriously think I came here just because…”

“Very well,” the Queen clapped her hooves, and immediately two of the changelings snapped to attention and saluted.

“Yes, my Queen?” They intoned.

“Give the Princess all the usual preparations for tonight,” Chrysalis ordered. “In the meantime, ensure she is returned to her holding pod. Inform me if she resists in any way.”

“Yes, my Queen,” the pair bowed before leading Luna off, motioning for her to follow. The Princess glared back at the Queen, her teeth grinding together in her head. Chrysalis sat forward in her seat, preparing a little counter-spell should Luna lunge at her. Eventually, Luna let her breath out and bowed her head curtly.

“Thank you, your majesty,” she said before turning to follow the pair out the door. The remaining changelings in the room watched her leave, heaving a huge sigh of relief.

“Well, that was oddly polite of her,” Chrysalis said before turning to the tiny, remaining group. Upon sighting them, she rolled her eyes. “My dearest changelings, you really need to have more faith in your Queen.”

“Ye-yes, my Queen,” the group said.

Bait stepped out and bowed at her hooves. “Forgive us, my Queen, we haven’t your stomach for such…tense situations.”

“Think nothing of it,” she said, the knowing smirk resurfacing. “At least you didn’t discover your homosexuality during those tense moments.”

The chitin on his forehead scrunching up, he turned just in time to watch two of the changelings still holding one another in their embrace suddenly part ways, the awkwardness literally radiating off them like a heavy stench to his changeling senses. “Ah, yes my Queen,” he said with a sage nod.

She sighed, shaking her head as the guards replaced the massive doors. Watching them idly, Chrysalis’s emerald gaze glanced over Bait, who sat where he was with the chitin over his eyes scrunched in thought. The gears were whirring around in his head so fast, a part of her thought she could hear them grinding away as he stood up again to trot off. “Are you sure you said everything that was on your mind, my dearest subject?” She asked searchingly.

Bait paused and looked over his shoulder, his eyes screaming concern. He looked down at his hooves, steeled himself, and frowned. He turned back to his queen, unrolling the scroll again. “Actually, my Queen, since I’m here again anyway…”

Through no fault of your own, she mused.

“…it’s these dead soldiers. I think they’re more than just random killings.”

Chrysalis leaned back in her throne bemusedly, a half-smile alighting on her face. This should be good, she thought. “Really? How so?”

“I…my Queen, I don’t believe the killings were carried out by a guerrilla attack,” he took a deep breath, hoping to get it all out in one go, as if that would make him anymore believable. “I think those soldiers were killed by some of our fellow changelings. I think they saw something they weren’t supposed to, something being carried out by our own soldiers, and they were…”

“Stop,” Chrysalis held up a hoof to silence the small changeling. He gazed up at his Queen with a hopeful little smile on his face, which promptly evaporated under the deadpan stare she returned. “Bait, do you think these things like you thought the Pony Illuminati had infiltrated the hive?”

He cringed and looked away, suddenly finding himself fascinated with a patch of floor crystal. “I-I’ll admit, I may have been premature in some of my conclusions…”

“Or what about a year before that, when I was out with the flu for a week, and you convinced yourself that it was an attempt at poisoning by the Griffon Freemasons?”

His tattered ears folded back, and his height lost a few inches. Nothing could divert his eyes away from that obviously fascinating patch of crystal. “I-I was young…”

“Or how about when you were still a nymph, and you convinced your little friend to help you break into the cafeteria in the royal bodyguards’ quarters to set up…I’m sorry, what was it called again?”

He cringed again and practically sank into the floor, his body apparently losing the ability to support his head. “A…Bighoof sting, ma’am.”

“Ah yes,” the little half-smile returned, but it was easy-looking, like a mother catching her foal with a hoof in the cookie jar. “Because you thought you saw a mythical creature in there earlier that day.”

“H-he was using the community blender…” he mumbled, barely audible.

“Bait,” she stood up from the throne, descending the steps towards him. “Look at me, please.”

He looked up into his Queen’s eyes, looking like a puppy caught in the middle of piddling on the carpet. She smiled and shook her head, locking her motherly, emerald gaze with his. “You’re an incredibly talented infiltrator, and a highly intelligent changeling. From the beginning, I’ve known what an asset you would be to the swarm: even when you were just a nymph hatching from his gestation pod, I could see some spark of intelligence in your eyes. And what’s more, ever since you teamed up with that ‘Switch’ fellow, the two of you have been nigh-unstoppable! A team with your success rate hasn’t been seen in the swarm for generations!”

“Thank you, your highness,” he squeaked, but kept his head low. He knew just what was coming next; they’d had this near-exact conversation too many times for him not to know. As always, she didn’t pull any punches.

“But,” she sighed. Yep. There it was, the but he could expect every time she talked to him like this. “You simply have to learn to control your imagination! You let it run away with you, and it just ends with you looking like a fool, when you’re not! You know that, right?”

“Of course, your majesty, but if you’ll just let me explain…”

“You do know of your abysmal image within the swarm, right?” She said, unable to keep the pity and concern out of her gaze, which in turn earned the tiniest smidgeon of resentment in his heart, tainting his emotional profile as it radiated back to her own sensors. Still, she didn’t hold back. “Did you know they have a nickname for you?”

He grimaced and broke eye contact, the tiniest growl rumbling at the back of his throat, making his chitin quiver. “The Irate, my Queen.”

“Yes,” she sighed, nodding sagely. “You’re Bait the Irate to them. Not particularly clever, but then, nicknames rarely are.”

“My Queen, if I may be so bold, may I ask if there’s a point to bringing up my past…” his hoof waved in little circles in the air as he searched for the proper word. Finding none, he settled with: “…endeavors?”

“Because of what your ‘endeavors’ have done to your image. My loyal…Bait,” perhaps the rare use of his name was just what she needed to finally break through to him and drill the message into his head. “You’re one of the most intelligent changelings of your generation, if not the most! Your cunning and cleverness in the field have provided more for the Swarm than I’m sure even you know! And despite all that, despite possessing a mind capable of running circles around every single one of them, do you know what the other changelings see when they look at you?”

His eyes fell and his ears folded back again, the anger raging in his gaze petering off to a tiny flicker. “Bait the Irate,” he muttered.

“Bait the Irate,” she nodded. Maybe this time, the lecture would stick. Perhaps this time, he would finally start showing off the Bait she knew, the one who could finally silence those changelings who snickered and pointed in his direction every time he passed by in the halls. She put a hoof to his chin, lifting his face to peer up into hers. “Isn’t it about time they got to know the real Bait? The Bait that’s one-half of the greatest infiltration team seen in generations?”

His cheeks flushed a little touch of green, his gaze darting away bashfully. A part of her expected him to kick a hoof against the ground with a little “Aw, shucks…” for how cute he looked. Instead, he shrugged out of her grasp and turned to her, his eyes begging. “But my Queen, I’m sure of it this time!”

She sighed. “I should beat you senseless for your idiocy,” she mused under her breath, turning back to her throne, her hoofsteps echoing in the massive chamber.

“My Queen?”

“Very well, because you’re so very insistent, and because of your incredible success record, I will give you this,” she said, plopping right back into the throne (and suppressing the wince that came with dropping one’s rear end onto a cold seat in the morning). “Bring me something solid, any shred of proof that proves there might be something behind your theory, and I will not only listen, I will give you a team composed of the changelings of your choosing just for investigating this matter to your heart’s content, along with the free time to do just that.”

His face lit up like Las Pegasus on doomsday, the corners of his mouth nearly touching his eyes. “Yes, your highness! I’ll get right on it!” He turned to dash out the door, ready to leave dust clouds in his wake. “You won’t regret this! I’m gonna blow this whole thing wide-open!”

“One caveat, before you leave!” She called after him, giving him pause.

He halted right in mid-air and looked over his shoulder at her, a forehoof stretching towards the door. “My Queen?”

“I don’t want to hear another word of this until you have something solid in my hooves, got it?” She asked, looking him over. “That means no paranoid rants on street corners, no coming to me with half-baked theories about alien infiltrators taking over high-commands’ brains, and especially no taking over half the guard barracks with a spider web of your own goop connecting random newspaper clippings and pictures of griffon politicians!”

“My Queen, with all due respect, that only happened one time!” He screamed, hooves waving in the air in frustration. “Once! And noling has ever let me live it down!”

“Promise!” She shouted sternly.

Placing his hooves on the ground, he sighed dejectedly and bowed his head. “Yes, my Queen.”

“Very good,” she waved him along. “I look forward to hearing from you, my little changeling, but I must get on with the day’s business. Please show the next changeling in on your way out.”

“Yes, your majesty,” Bait intoned, bowing a final time before turning to leave, the massive doors echoing in the chamber as they closed behind him. Chrysalis took a moment to sigh and shake her head, massaging a temple first with the edge of her hoof, then with her magic. Her first full day as ruler of the Crystal Empire was shaping up to be a nasty one. Still, that little meeting with the princess might shape up into something interesting.

She sighed and slumped in her chair. “Do-over my toned, black, flank,” she mumbled under her breath, saving that little bit of urban slang for when she was sure she was alone. Luna was hiding something. She knew something she wasn’t supposed to. Sure, she’d done a decent job of keeping it buried, a thousand-year-old Alicorn Princess had to be at least capable of that, but Chrysalis was a mistress of deception, ruler of a species that depended on misdirection and lies just to survive. She saw the way the Luna’s eyes darted ever-so-slightly off center whenever she attempted eye contact, probably out of fear of what the Queen might see if she was able to get a good look in.

“Alright, Princess. We’ll just see what you have planned,” she muttered, clopping a hoof against her armrest as a signal for the next petitioner to file in. “This should make for some interesting conversation, at the very least.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The batter dribbled off the ends of Bait’s hooves, forming little bubbles in his holes as he passively pounded away at the roll. His shoulder raised and bought his hoof down again, like the lever on a slot machine. The batter oozed and bubbled up through his holes, his eyes wide and blank, looking right through it.

“There’s something there,” he mumbled. “I know there is. It doesn’t make sense otherwise.”

“Well, of course there’s something there, silly!” A certain, high-pitched voice squealed behind him. He whirled just as Pinkie wheeled by, pushing a massive cart full of silver trays. She beamed at him, that incredible, sunny smile lighting the entire room. “The batter for those cookies. You’ve been mashing it for fifteen minutes! I think it can go in the pan, now!”

“Wha-oh, sorry,” he hurriedly shoved the lump of dough into the nearest pan, scraping it off the counter with a sweep of his hoof. “I – kinda have some things on my mind.”

“Oh? What kinda things?” She asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at him as she tossed the pan into the oven with a fluid swing of her hips.

He blinked at the display, regained his mental footing, and scowled, praying she hadn’t really discovered his growing attraction for her. “As if you’d really be concerned,” he hissed, trying his best to remember that he was a changeling tasked with The Swarm’s protection while she was an Element of Harmony tasked with thwarting their attempts at survival.

“Mmh…maybe I’m somewhat concerned,” she replied thoughtfully. “You ARE one of the better assistants I’ve had, after all.”

“Oh…” his scowl turned into a disbelieving frown. “Really?”

“Well, yeah! Those holes are perfect for aerating the batter when it’s being molded and worked!” She sang, and to emphasize, she grabbed one of his hooves and shoved it into yet another bowl of batter, stirring it. “See? You’re a natural whisk!”

“Huh, never thought of it that way,” he said, absentmindedly staring at his forehoof as the batter bubbled and blooped through the holes in it.

“Plus, there’s the fact that you’re really, really smart, and whatever’s got you puzzled, it must be a doozy!” She replied, that impossibly bright smile lighting up her face the entire time.

“I guess that’s true,” he replied, turning to the counter and grabbing another mound of batter to disguise the green blush crawling over his cheeks. He worked as he talked, kneading the batter in his hooves as his gaze wandered over it. “And it is. A doozy, I mean.”

“Well, out with it already! Inquiring ponies want to know!”

He grinned back at her, suddenly mindful that a few razor-sharp teeth would inevitably be visible in his smile and subconsciously covering his mouth with a twist of his shoulder. “Okay, it’s about last night.”

She rolled her eyes at him with a playful smile. “Baity, it was a one-night stand; don’t read too much into it!”

He turned to her, a blush heating up his entire face for everyone to see. “What in Equestria are you…” he drifted off as he saw the joking smile on her face, a giggle rising from the back of her throat. Suddenly, he couldn’t help but smile and snicker along. “Alright, yeah, good one.”

“The look on your face,” she laughed. “Priceless!”

“Funny, yeah, I know. Anyway, last night, some changelings were killed.”

Her laughter stopped immediately, her face flicking from bubbly happiness to sympathetic remorse so fast he’d be surprised if she didn’t have a couple masks hidden somewhere, ones she could switch between fast as lightning. “Oh, I’m so sorry…”

He blinked at her in confusion, then waved her off. “Oh, it was noling I knew or anything. Just some random bugs that got shanked.”

“Oh,” immediately, the sympathetic concern turned into confusion. Seriously, how did somepony have so much control over their expressions? “Wow. Um…okay, what happened?”

“Supposedly, they were hit by pony rebels, but I don’t buy that. Not for a second.” His gaze hardened, turning serious. “Some things just don’t add up.”

“Such as?”

“The way they were killed,” he replied, rummaging into a junk drawer with a free hoof and pulling out a file covered in rubber bands, thumbtacks, and some of the other assorted detritus that seemed to inhabit all junk drawers everywhere. He started shuffling through the file as he talked, flipping pages as fast as he could. “Right…here!” He held up the picture he had been searching for in triumph, showing the bodies lying in the middle of one of the Empire’s many roads. The crystal street was covered in their blood, drying in the rising sun. The bodies stared blankly into the sky, mouths agape, eyes wide, as if in horror, the fangs that once looked so intimidating now glinting in the sun as a set of objects, no more threatening than a knife without a hand to wield it.

“You see? You see what’s happened here?” He asked enthusiastically.

Her face twisted, turning green as a hoof raced to her face. “I see a couple of bodies.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” he quickly shoved the folder back into the drawer. “I forget not everyone spends their nights looking at autopsy photos for evidence of alien abduction.”

“Silly goose, it’s not changelings they abduct! It’s Zebras!” She giggled, a hoof batting at his shoulder. “Zebras are the ones that have the most serotonin in their brains to power the Zartaxan thought-shields!”

He blinked at her. “What?”

“What?”

Shaking off his stupor yet again, he continued. “Anyway, it’s how these changelings were killed that’s got me: stabbed in the carapace, up close and personal.”

“Ahh,” she waved a hoof at him to continue. “And regular, old, terrorist ponies couldn’t pull that off because…”

“Because they were stabbed so precisely!” Bait insisted, his hooves waving dramatically. “Not just that, but the blades travelled upwards! Whoever did this had to practically be on top of them before they attacked! Now, could a couple of ponies get that close to a pair of soldiers?”

“Maybe they got the drop on ‘em?” Pinkie suggested.

“That might work if there was just one body, but what are the odds that two ponies could attack simultaneously, hitting so fast and so precisely that they caught both soldiers off-guard at the exact same time?” He shook his head. “No, they trusted whoever did this to them, enough to let them practically walk right up and slide a knife in between their ribs.”

Pinkie shuddered. “That’s awful, somepony you trust betraying you like that. I know it happens, but still,” suddenly, she gasped, realization dawning on her. She sprang into the air, suspended a few inches off the tiled floor by her own surprise. “Waitasecond! The only one a changeling soldier would trust to get that close would be…”

“…another changeling soldier,” he replied, nodding in affirmation as she drifted back to the floor. “Exactly. You see? That’s why these murders have me so concerned. Something is happening within our own ranks, and not even the Queen knows about it.”

“You should tell her, then!” She pointed out.

“I tried, she didn’t believe me,” he sighed, turning back to slam his hooves into the batter.

“What!? How couldn’t she!? You’re a super-smart guy!”

“Heh, yeah,” he sighed, thankful that she couldn’t see him blush yet again. “Thing is, I kind’ve got this…history of bad hunches.”

“Oh, really?” She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, I don’t have the most reliable reputation for level-headed behavior in The Swarm.”

“Shoot! A guy like you!? How bad could it be?” She said, waving a hoof dismissively.

“Well, there was that time when I booby-trapped the old changeling graveyard to be ‘zombie-proof’,” he replied with a grimace, slamming another hoof into the batter. Even he had to admit that particular burst of paranoia had been ill-conceived from the get-go: especially when Deacon Chicklet had shown up leading a full procession, expecting a nice, quiet burial ceremony for the widow who lived in the hive next to him, and instead nearly getting a flamethrower in the face.

“Aw, that isn’t so bad!” She said. “Zombie preparedness is a pressing issue, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know! I mean, better safe than zombie chow, right!?” He waved his other hoof about in frustration, this time spraying a few flecks of batter around. “Try to tell the rest of my swarm that, though! I’m just lucky my Queen likes me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt every now and again!”

“Not this time, though?”

“Well, she promised me my own investigative team if I could prove without a doubt that something is going on,” he replied, grumbling again, a hiss growing at the back of his throat. “Thing is, I’ve got nothing! Just all the usual hunches that everyling is used to dismissing as crazy anyways! If I just had a motive here…”

“Hmm,” donning a deerstalker and pulling a bubble pipe out of thin air, Pinkie’s eyebrows hunched in concentration. “That is quite the conundrum you have there, my dear Watson.”

“Who in the hay is…ugh,” he sighed, suppressing a smile at the cartoonish way she started pacing back and forth on the kitchen tile, her shoulders hunched and a hoof scratching her chin in thought. “Nevermind. I’m not even gonna ask where you got the pipe and hat.”

“Elementary!” She replied, her eyes sparkling mirthfully. “Now, all that remains is to find yon means for criminal activity!”

He squinted at her and turned his head sideways, as if that might make some sense of the mare before him. “What?”

“A reason!” She clarified with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t think changelings just go around killing each other! Wait…do they?”

“Not usually,” he replied. “But I see what you’re saying: a motive.”

“Now, in my experience, sometimes creatures kill each other for money,” she said, a hoof gesturing pointedly to a chalkboard, which now had a dollar-sign drawn on it.

Wondering when she’d had the time to erect a chalkboard and procure some pink chalk, then realizing that wondering about it would probably just drive him mad, Bait shook his head. “Changeling soldiers would never carry much currency with them into battle, and bits are only handy to infiltrators anyway. Naw, I can’t see money being the motive.”

“Then that brings us to another possibility,” with an embellished swoop, she pointed back to the chalkboard, which now had a couple crude stick-figures beneath the dollar sign, which in turn had been X’ed out. One of the figures held a knife as it crept up on the other, the remaining pony completely oblivious to the impending threat, as evidenced by the little smiley face it had for a head. “Revenge!”

Bait scratched his chin. “That could be a possibility. A changeling pissed another one off in the past, and that changeling waited for some invasion or another, knowing the deaths would be passed off as regular war casualties.” After thinking for a while, he frowned and shook his head, eyes squinting with thought. “But then why mess things up? Why not make it look like a pony’s magical attack, or something that wouldn’t raise suspicion? And why just leave the bodies lying out where rebels would have strung them up as an example to others? And why two of them? If it was just one changeling, how could he have gotten them both so easily? No, this was done in the heat of the moment, with little to no pre-planning. The only reason it worked so well was that the ones behind it knew how to kill someone, and their targets didn’t suspect a thing.”

“Then that leaves one possibility,” X-ing out the picture of the two ponies, she whipped up a new picture with a single stroke of the chalk, this one of somepony in a mask with a bag of ill-gotten bits over their shoulder. “Crime!”

Bait scratched his chin again, the fact that he’d just watched her draw a somewhat complex picture with one swoop of a hoof never crossing his mind. This time, his eyes lit up. “Yeah! It fits! Someling stumbles on someling else who’s in the middle of something they shouldn’t be doing, and they get iced for it!”

“We’ve got it!” Pinkie cried in joy, the hat flying away as she beamed at him.

“Yeah!” He laughed, rearing up on his hind hooves and pawing at the air in victory, but the excitement was short-lived. He sank back down to all fours. “Oh man, but that’s still not solid enough!”

“Aww, really?”

“Yes, really,” he sighed, green flames engulfing his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was a higher, whinier, more nasally version of its old self. “Oh my Queen, my beloved Queen, I’ve cracked it! Those changelings last night were killed because they witnessed a crime! What’s that? No, I don’t have any solid proof, and no, I don’t even know what kind of crime. Where did I get this idea? Oh, from the pink pony I’m supposed to be holding prisoner, of course! So, how about that task force you promised me?”

Pinkie giggled. “That was really good!”

“Thanks,” he sighed, his voice flicking back to normal as he stared at her with massive, sad, puppy-dog eyes. “But my point still stands.”

“Then we’ll just have to figure out what crime it was,” she replied. “So, you guys are handling the policing of the Empire, right?”

“Right, but…” his ears perked up once more, a smile cracking his lips. “Pinkie, that’s brilliant!” He gasped, rushing to the junk drawer and grabbing the folder again. “Any crime would be reported! We just have to find something that fits!”

He slammed the very same report he’d given the Queen that morning down onto the table and started scanning it, his eyes darting around methodically. Pinkie peered over his shoulder curiously, watching his gaze do its dance until he slammed a hoof onto the counter in frustration. “Rats! Nothing!”

“Really?” She frowned.

“Yeah,” he replied, shaking his head in frustration. “A few looters, a missing safe that was quickly found in the owner’s basement, a senile old coot who accused one of our soldiers of stealing a pair of glasses that were right on his forehead, and the usual, regular, missing pon-“

He cut himself off, eyes widening in realization. His snout tilted upwards as he scanned the report again. “Missing ponies,” he finished, almost totally breathless, a hoof jamming into the paper so hard it wrinkled under his grip. With shaking hooves, he pulled out the profiles given to him by the ponies who reported the others missing.

“Yeah, missing ponies,” she arched an eyebrow. “Why would that be concerning to you?”

“Changelings can partake in communal stores only,” he explained hurriedly, searching for the profiles he had scattered throughout the bundle of papers. “Hoarding ponies for your own use outside of an infiltration situation is a huge no-no!”

“Really?”

“Think about it: the swarm has been hit by famine in the past, hoarding love just to have it later could be sentencing a fellow changeling to death! Emperor Capane made hoarding ponies during occupation a capital offense shortly before his death in 482!” He replied, seizing the proper paper and holding it up like a winning lottery ticket. “But I think we’ve just stumbled upon a pony trafficking ring!

“Pinkie! I need a map of the Empire!” He gasped, a hoof waving at her frantically.

“Here ya go,” she replied, handing him a crayon-drawn picture, complete with buildings and avenues and even little hat and shoe symbols to symbolize certain stores.

Without pausing to question where in the hay she could possibly have even gotten the crayons, he slammed the map on the counter and started scanning it, grabbing a pen from the junk drawer and praying that it wasn’t dry, unlike so many other pens in so many other junk drawers. “Heartfelt Petalmore,” he read aloud from the profile. “Pony tourist from Manehattan, disappeared on the way from her nightly mandatory donation in the Crystal Palace,” he said, a hoof thrusting into the massive circle that symbolized the palace in the center of the map.

“Reported missing by roommates staying with her at the Embassy Hooves,” he X’ed the small square denoting the famous hotel, then started tracing a path from it to the Palace. “If we assume she took main roads only, avoiding any alleyways or shortcuts, which would make sense, considering she’s a tourist and unfamiliar with the area,” he mumbled thoughtfully. Pinkie watched with excitement as the line grew, weaving around corners and whipping through intersections, not stopping as it weaved its way along until it came to a stop at the gates of the Crystal Palace.

“And now we just look up the intersection of West and Third Ave, where the bodies were founnnnd…annnnd…crap,” he grumbled, circling an intersection that was nowhere near Miss Petalmore’s predicted pathway. His ears folded dejectedly against his skull. Those little snickering voices muttering “Bait the Irate” played in his head.

Pinkie brushed against his shoulder. “Try another one.”

The voices retreated instantly at the sound of the mare’s voice. Confidence returning, Bait whipped out the next profile. “Misty Rains!” He announced, hammering a hoof on the table. “Met with family on the east side of town to ensure their safety, reported missing by said family shortly after midnight, disappeared after setting off for her apartment on the west side…” the pencil traced again, weaving almost drunkenly through the little wax streets and Crayola pathways, his voice building in anticipation as the pencil traced along, before dead-ending at Miss Rain’s supposed destination, never coming near the circle.

Bait slumped in his seat, a hoof rubbing against his forehead. Maybe there was something to those guys chanting “Bait the Irate” behind his back after all. And maybe that’s all he was, good ol’ Bait the Irate. Hey, didja hear what Bait the Irate was up to today? Yeah, the same idiot who almost blew up ol' Trypto's place because he thought his heartworm medication could be used as rocket fuel! Well, today he was ranting and raving to the Queen about another big, evil conspiracy within the occupation corps! I know! The Queen herself! Honestly, why does she even put up with his…

“Wait, you screwed up!” Pinkie said, peering over his shoulder.

“What?” He asked, his thoughts screeching to a halt.

“Look, you said she lived in the Empire,” she explained, erasing the path and wiping away the debris left behind. “So she wasn’t like the last mare: she knew this city, she knew all its little secrets, and I’m willing to bet she had a shortcut between her place and her family’s.”

His eyes bugged out of his skull. “Yes,” he gasped, seizing the pencil again, scanning the path over. “And-and look! This park! If she cut through it, she could’ve shaved a few blocks off her trip!”

Pinkie watched, a warm smile on her face as the pencil traced through the large, green square symbolizing the park and popped out in an alleyway, flowing back onto the street, tracing along, and dead-ending right in the circle, which he encircled a few extra times for emphasis.

“That’s it,” he gasped, sitting back in his seat, eyes wide. The shock gave way to glee, a joyous smile filling his face. “That’s it that’s it THAT’S IT! We’ve found them!”

Taking her by surprise, Bait shot away from the counter, twirling with the awkwardness of an amateur dancer too caught up in the moment to care. “WE’VE FOUND THEM! WE’VE FOUND THEM!” He announced as she clapped in delight, cheering him on. Taking her by surprise again, he swept her up in his grip, twirling her in an ambling dance fueled by nothing more than his pure joy. “You brilliant, beautiful mare! You’ve cracked it!”

“Heh…” she snickered, a slight tint of rose rising on her cheeks. The twirling stopped immediately. “Um…thanks.”

“Yeah, uh…” he quickly released her, fluorescent green rising all the way up his neck and covering his entire face this time. “No prob…uh…I…should go tell the Queen.”

“Yeah, you do that,” she replied, a forehoof running along her leg bashfully. Still blushing, he wheeled around and knocked over a stack of pans in a frantic dash for the door, sending them clattering to the tile floor.

“Sorry, sorry!” He shouted.

“Don’t worry, just get going! You’ve got an Empire to save!” She called.

Nodding, he hurried out the door, the rest of his chitin turning a light green. She sighed and shook her head as she watched him go, the light rose still teasing at her cheeks as she set to picking the assorted pans up. Then, rather suddenly, she found her entire body encased in rock as he poked his head in again.

“Aww, what the…” She started, pulling at the rock burying her up to her shoulders.

“Sorry, paranoid, can’t let you move, hate me, I know, byeee!” He shouted before rushing out the door again.

As he disappeared around the corner, a small twinge of guilt hit him. Sure, it was standard procedure to immobilize a prisoner while they were unattended, but she had been the key he’d been waiting for to bust this whole thing wide open. The kind, sunny, never-doubtful, brilliant, mildly plump in all the right places key…

He shook his head and poured on a bit more speed, dashing past sentries on patrol on a mad dash to the throne room. I really shouldn’t worry, he figured. She can find somethin’ to entertain herself until I get back, I’m sure.

No sooner did he think this when her voice started rolling up the hall, tumbling through the ears of everyling that got in its path: “WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN – MILLION BOTTLES OF POP ON THE WALL, ONE-MILLION BOTTLES OF PAAAHHHHHP! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND…”

He smiled and shook his head while the sentries around him looked up with a queer stare on their faces, first at the changeling attempting to break the land speed record in the Crystal Palace, then at the loud, high-pitched singing that only seemed melodic to one set of ears. Bait paid them no mind, instead turning a corner and bursting into the throne room.

His heart sank at the sight of the empty throne sitting along one wall, shimmering in the light with one changeling scrubbing away at the seat. “Hey!” Bait called, and the changeling, an oddly pretty little mare with solid pink eyes and nubby fangs, looked up at him. “Where’s the Queen?”

“Oh, she’s not in right now,” the mare replied, her voice a little whisper of a hiss he had to strain to hear. “She’s gone to her room to prepare for dinner with one of the VIPs.”

The chitin on Bait’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “A VIP? Like from the main Hive? We have a politician here?”

“Um, no, ‘Very Important Prisoner’,” the changeling replied bashfully. “She’s getting ready in her room, I think it’s…”

“I know where it is, thanks!” He cried over his shoulder, already shooting through the massive double doors and barreling towards the nearest stairwell. As he ran, a grin broke out on his face, partially from the mildly off-key melody ringing in his ears that seemed to add power to his stride, but also because of the impending meeting with his Queen.

“I finally have something,” he gasped with an enthusiastic grin, slamming shoulder-first through the door leading to the next floor and into yet another, crystalline hallway. “I’m coming with what you wanted, my Queen! There’s no way you can deny me now!”

And behind him, the mare sighed, shaking her head as she continued her work. Eventually, the sigh turned into a grin. “Well, at least Twilight was right about the disguise spell,” she mused, chortling to herself as she put the finishing touches on the small listening device she had just installed in the throne’s back.

Chapter XXIV: Flutters and the Tots

Bait’s hooves slammed into the bureau, nearly knocking over a bottle of pink nail polish. “What do you mean it’s not enough!?”

The other changelings in the room winced, immediately turning to their queen with ears folded. All Chrysalis had to do was arch one well-waxed eyebrow, and in an instant, Bait’s ire melted away. He backed off, looking down at his hooves, a look of the deepest remorse crossing his features. In just a few seconds, his demeanor went from wrathful subject to wounded puppy. “My Queen! I’m…I’m so sorry….”

“Do try to control your temper in the presence of your sovereign, my little changeling,” Chrysalis replied neutrally, waving for the changelings working on her makeup to continue.

“Y-yes, my Queen, I will.”

“As for your request…” she started. Bait leaned forward hopefully, even as Chrysalis gave him an obvious look of pain and sighed. “…you do not have enough evidence to justify an investigation on the scale you’re imagining.”

“But…my Queen! I…”

She raised a hoof out from under the apron shielding her body while her changelings worked on her hair, silencing the smaller changeling. “I will put some changelings into investigating this, but so far, you’ve yet to show me any solid proof that these crimes are connected, certainly nothing to justify anything more than a normal Internal Affairs task force!”

“Your Majesty, Internal Affairs has no idea how to handle this!” Bait insisted, resisting the urge to pound and claw on the armrest of the stylist’s chair. “These are criminals, rotting the system from the inside! Trust me, I know! I’m sure of it!”

She deadpanned at him, those pretty, green emeralds regarding him from beneath her hairspray-filled mane. “Need I remind you of the incident with that cow herd outside Appelloosa? The one you could have sworn was a target for abduction by Martian invaders?”

He grimaced, glowering back at her. “Your Majesty, with all due respect, that was one time!”

Her gaze remained on him even as a hole-filled hoof darted across her forehead, teasing up her hairline. “I’m sorry, my loyal subject, but even with a mission record as impressively successful as yours, you do have another record. One that I must also consider when weighing your request against our limited resources.”

Bait opened his mouth to protest again, then closed it, his shoulders slumping, his ears drooping. “I…understand…my queen.”

He turned to leave, trudging towards the ornate door with all the enthusiasm of a prisoner on death row. Chrysalis watched him go for a while, opened her mouth, closed it, hunched her eyebrows, and said: “Come back.”

His ears rose in surprise, then folded again as Bait trudged back to her side, sitting by her armrest and looking up at her with a look so pained and so agonizingly puppy-like that Chrysalis herself required an incredible amount of effort to keep from pulling him into a hug. Instead, she smiled pleasantly and leaned forward to cradle his chin in her hoof, much to the chagrin of the small platoon of mares working on her mane.

“I am going to say something, and I want you to repeat it after me,” she said. “That is an order, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He whispered.

“That something is: ‘I am not the Irate’.” She cooed.

He flinched back, then looked at her, his brow shifting in confusion. “Er…what?”

“Just say that with me. ‘I am not the Irate’.”

He looked confused, but ever the obedient soldier, he repeated after her: “I am not the Irate.”

“Again.”

This time, the confusion was gone, and he sat up with his shoulders square. “I am not the Irate.”

“Louder, soldier!”

“I am not the Irate!”

“I still can’t hear you!”

“I am not the Irate! My name is Bait the changeling, one-half of the greatest team this Swarm has ever seen, an operative with a success record that has never been seen before and probably never will be again! So when I tell you to sit up and pay attention, you damn well better!”

He opened his eyes, not even realizing he’d closed them. The mares all stared at him, surprised, unblinking, all except Chrysalis, who leaned back in the stylist’s chair with a knowing grin stretching her muzzle. Bait laid his hooves back to the tile, having raised them high over his head in a victory sign. “Er…thank you, your majesty.”

“Of course, my loyal subject. Now, while I do enjoy your company…” she trailed off and tilted her head, raising an ear into the air. He responded by doing the same, and after a while, just under the occasional hum of the magic working its way through the crystal-lined halls, he heard what she heard:

“…nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, four-hundred and twenty-eight bottles of pop on the wall, nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, four-hundred and twenty-eight bottles of paaahhhhpp, take one down, pass it around…”

“…could you please return to your charge before she drives the sentries in the halls crazy?” Chrysalis finished, still smiling easily at the smaller changeling.

“Ah…yes, of course your highness,” he enthused, ending with a little bow before turning to gallop out of the room.

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Fluttershy had grown used to the routine by now. She stirred as something scratched around in the room outside her prison, and slowly pushed herself towards the seam that ran along the pod’s length. No use fighting it: might as well go with it. This time when the pod fell open, she was ready to throw herself along the opening’s lip and pull free. As she shifted her weight over the edge, however, she was surprised to find her guard’s hole-filled hoof around her shoulders, ready to offer support should she lose her balance.

“Uh…just…you haven’t moved much in a while, so…I don’t want you to fall or…anything…” he said, slowly lowering her to all fours.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t…uh…don’t mention it,” he replied, releasing her shoulders and reaching for the tether and collar, just in time to hide the green blush glowing on his cheeks. “And sorry about this. It’s not that I don’t trust you at this point, it’s just standard protocol, you know?”

“I know,” she replied, closing her eyes as he applied the collar with an unusual amount of tenderness. However, there was a quiver in his touch as he pulled away, one she decided not to mention once her eyes slid open again. She noticed the color still tinting his cheeks and frowned. “Um…I’m sorry, but are you feeling sick?”

“What?” He tapped his cheeks with the edge of a chitin-covered hoof and gave a sharp intake of breath at the heat he felt there. “Oh, Chrysalis above! Uh…it’s...allergies.”

“Allergies?” She asked innocently. “What are you allergic to?”

“Uh…I’m allergic to…I’m allergic to…” he trailed off, dragging the ‘to’ out far longer than necessary as his eyes scanned frantically around, which she found ever so odd. What was he afraid of? Was there some other changeling in the room? She just started to follow his gaze when he pointed back to the remnants of her prison. “That! Changeling goop!”

“Changeling goop? But aren’t you a changeling? How can you be allergic?”

“Oh, well, it’s quite inconvenient, yeah, very terrible, I don’t like talking about it,” he stammered, turning to stride robotically out the door. “W-we should get going.”

She frowned again. That was the very first time she could remember him stammering, and with the blush, it was obvious something was up with him. But she decided to table that discussion, probably for good. If he didn’t want to say anything, it wasn’t her place to push him. She was just his prisoner, after all.

She followed the large changeling into the hallway, where an awkward silence waited pre-hung for them, remaining even as he nodded and they began walking, shoulder-to-shoulder this time. Figuring she should at least attempt to break the silence, she turned to him, took a deep breath, and opened her mouth, only to feel her natural shyness paralyze her vocal chords. The moment she looked up at the strange, black creature, his one milky eye staring off into nothing from beneath that intimidating scar, the only thing she could manage in spite of her best efforts turned out to be a barely-audible squeak.

“I thought we’d try something a little bit different for today,” he said, mercifully sparing her the massive, internal struggle she’d been embroiled in with her own shyness.

She let out a little sigh of relief, only for that feeling to be replaced with a deep foreboding. He could have meant anything, and what could she do about it? Nothing! “Wha-what do you mean by ‘a little bit different’?” She asked, trying to keep the dread from her voice.

“Well, the hatchlings obviously aren’t working out, yeah? I mean, the stress you’ve placed on your body these past couple days is crazy.”

“Really?”

“You’d be amazed,” he replied, and then, so deep under his breath that she couldn’t possibly hear him, he added: “I know I am.”

“So, what are we doing today?”

“I thought we’d try going a little bit older.”

As she turned to ask him just what he meant by that, they had started to pass under that one damned window, still being worked on by that one damned changeling; the one who made a habit out of scaring her every time she passed by. Once again, Dave the changeling peered in through the window, scrunched up his features, and hissed threateningly. With a frightened squeak, she turned to take off running again, but a lanky, hole-filled hoof barred her path, stopping her just as her eyes started to squeeze shut to begin her terror-filled run.

She opened her eyes, and watched as the massive guard turned, bared his fangs up at the window, and unleashed a powerful roar. The hall reverberated with the sound as it echoed along the vaulted ceiling, traveling until the goop coating most of the windows absorbed it. The changeling on the window lost his grip, his forelegs pinwheeling in a desperate attempt to remain on the window, and for a moment it looked like he might, the sheer force of his panicked motions levelling him just so slightly. Then he slid all the way off and dropped out of sight, disappearing behind the solid goop shield covering the bottom half of the window.

The guard turned to her wearing a smile brimming with self-satisfaction, his fangs bared in pride. Then realization dawned on him and his ears folded back, the smile turning sheepish. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said. “You gotta put these guys in their place sometimes. Hope I didn’t startle ya too much.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay,” she said, and to her surprise, it really was. She should have been terrified, or startled at the very least. But as she gazed up into that once-intimidating, scarred visage, set in a face that practically screamed power, she saw something other than a monster to be feared. Something she never thought she’d see in a changeling. She couldn’t quite put a hoof on what that something was, but it was there, and for reasons she couldn’t quite understand, she wanted to see more of it.

“So, as I was saying,” he completed, falling back into step as if nothing had happened. He led her to a small doorway leading off the hall, just a few yards down from the nursery. “The hatchlings will be feeding from the swarm’s public stores today, but I think it’s about time a few other changelings knew what fresh love tasted like.”

“Changelings like who?” She asked as he stepped through, holding the door for her. He simply nodded inside, and she took a look around. Her eyes widened. A dozen smaller versions of him were running around on the linoleum floor, playing with building block towers, pedaling around on tricycles, dueling with paper swords, and generally acting like a bunch of…

“Welcome to the toddler room!” The guard enthused, turning to secure her tether to yet another ring on one of the walls. “These kids actually know a thing or two about temperance, so feel free to just give all you want! They know when they’re full!”

He turned confidently, eyes shut and chin raised in pride. “Pretty smart of me, right?”

When he opened his eyes again, his confident little smile vanished. Fluttershy had backed against one of the walls, curling up into a little ball in the corner. The tiny changelings all stared at her, all stopping their playtime to turn their massive eyes towards the pony as she quivered in fear.

“Um, Fluttershy?” The guard asked. The little pegasus looked up at him, a pathetic whimper growing at the back of her throat. “L-like I said, it’s okay. These guys won’t drain you like the hatchlings.”

She turned her wide, fear-filled gaze back to the tiny group. At that moment, it wasn’t a small gathering of changeling toddlers in front of her. It was them. The laughing voices, the ones waiting on the sidelines every time she had been about to take off during a flight exam, or the judging eyes she'd felt in the back of her head every day walking through the hallways. Those constantly-judging voices that had always waited on the sidelines, that she knew were always there to smirk and guffaw at every tiny, little mistake. Of course, one look into those wide, pupil-less eyes would have told her the fear was mutual, but she was a bit beyond noticing details like that.

"Fluttershy?" She snapped out of her fear-induced trance long enough to look up at the large changeling, his one good eye clouded with concern, then she snapped right back to the group before her.

"They're...staring..." she whispered.

The chitin on his forehead scrunched up and he turned to the toddlers, then back to her. "Well, yeah? You are the most colorful thing in here, and probably the first pony they've ever seen."

Those wide, blue pools started to tear up. "Just...staring...always staring..."

The scarred changeling ran his tongue over his fangs, seeming to consider this. "Okay...uh...wait right here," he said, turning to trot over the changelings. She did as she was told, more due to the fact that she was frozen in fear than anything, but perked an ear to listen as he leaned in close to one of the tots.

"Hey kid, what's yer name?" She heard him hiss.

"Jason?" The little one said, his wide, light-blue eyes widening at the changeling towering over him.

"Seriously? That's a funny name."

"Well, I'm a funny kid," he replied, sticking his little tongue out.

The large changeling's face lit up. "Yes, you are. Care to explain that to the pretty pony over there?" He asked.

"Uh..." Jason looked over the guard's shoulder at Fluttershy, who promptly let loose with a frightened little squeak before cowering back into her hooves. He took a few steps back and looked up at the guard with the same scrunched up, fearful look all children got when they were told to try one night sleeping with the nightlight off. "D-do I hafta?"

The guard's look softened and he cocked his head at Fluttershy. "Kid, what're you scared of?"

"Scared!" The colt puffed out his chest and inflated his cheeks in an attempt to look intimidating, but his tongue poked out between his lips and deflated the entire image. He kept a frown up to maintain some intimidation factor. "I'm not scared of any prissy little pony!"

"Then why don't you go over there and introduce yourself?"

The colt visibly shrank. The frown morphed right back into that scared little scrunch. He peeked over the guard's shoulder again. Fluttershy promptly cowered back behind her hooves, shivering at the sight of those cold, ice-blue eyes. He looked up at the guard and bit his lip. “O-okay,” he stammered, obviously suppressing fearful tears as he slowly walked around the guard, his head hung like a prisoner on death row walking the last few hundred yards they would ever walk in their lives. Head still hung, the colt’s pace steadily slowed to a crawl as he neared the pegasus, nearly reaching the point where he was standing still. Fluttershy, for her part, had pulled her head out of her hooves and was watching him curiously, though she didn’t make any motion to close the remaining distance between them. Instead, she looked Jason over and quickly recognized the look of some small forest creature trying to approach her for some bits of bread, yet not quite able to overcome its innate fear of the unknown.

Working from experience, she slowly extended a hoof towards the changeling colt, keeping her head low. “You’re almost there, c’mon,” she said in her usual, melodic tone. The colt bit his lip and finally froze in place. He leaned forward as if to take those last few steps towards her, but darted back once he’d reached a random point that was apparently too close for his liking. They remained where they were, Fluttershy’s knowledge of dealing with fearful animals keeping her from closing the distance, and the colt’s fear holding him at bay. There was a good chance they might have remained that way for the rest of the day, with her patience, if not for the guard who suddenly darted towards the colt, moving with a speed and silence that made him appear like a racing shadow in the middle of the daycare. In the same amount of time it might take most ponies to blink their eyes, he appeared at the colt’s side, just far enough back back to remain out of sight, and whispered a quick “Boo” in the little one’s ear.

Jason leapt forward, propelled by legs already tensed in fear. He practically crashed into Fluttershy’s grip, her forehooves grabbing him just in time to keep his small, black body from slamming into the floor. “Careful!” She gasped, looking him over in her grasp. Immediately after confirming everything to be intact, she glared at the guard responsible for the “accident,” who in turn just shrugged and urged her along with a wave of his hoof.

Turning away from the larger changeling, she returned her attention to the small black body in her grip. The tiny changeling trembled, the very beginning of fear-inspired tears creeping into the corners of his eyes. “Um…hi, little one?” She said in a tone that was about as sure of itself as a high-schooler attempting to synthesize cold fusion. “Wha-what’s your name?”

“M-my name’s…” the little changeling swallowed and shivered fearfully, avoiding her gaze. But, fully aware of the roomful of eyes watching him from behind, he persevered on. “My name’s Jason.”

“Well, um, Jason,” she eyed the guard, who shrugged and urged her on. Thank you, how very helpful, she thought. “My name is Fluttershy. Um…I’m supposed to feed you now, okay?”

“O-okay,” he stammered, his head rising almost imperceptibly. The pair locked eyes for a few seconds, each staring, each apparently wondering what was supposed to happen next, when the guard stepped in.

“This’ll be his first time feeding on something other than pre-packaged love stores,” he explained, taking the smaller changeling in his magic’s grip. “Usually, we start them off on sedated ponies, but I figured they wouldn’t have any problems with you.”

“Oh…um…thank you?” She said questioningly, never knowing that compliment was meant to say so much more than the face value she took it at, never knowing it meant he thought she was the kindest and most loving mare he’d ever met in his life.

Now, he just held the smaller changeling in front of her face. “You don’t need to do much, Miss Fluttershy. Jason will be the one doing the heavy-lifting today.”

“Okay,” she said quietly, standing ramrod straight. The expression on the tiny changeling hovering in front of her face had weakened from all-out terror to simple embarrassment and unsureness, a light-green blush rising on his little cheeks, but the guard held him firm.

“Alright, Jason, you’re moving up now,” he whispered in the colt’s ear. “It’s just like draining a love sac, only bigger. A pony can hold a ton more love than a sac, but as bountiful as this pony’s love may be, it’s not infinite. Any pony, no matter how wonderfully loving, will become drained if you feed on it too long, and your classmates still have to feed. Just cut yourself off when you’ve had enough, and you’ll be fine.”

The smaller changeling nodded as a light blush rose on Fluttershy’s cheeks. She couldn’t be absolutely sure that those comments had been directed right at her, but something in the way he met her gaze as he said them told her they were. At any rate, her thoughts were interrupted when a wave of fatigue washed over her, causing a quick stumble.

“Ohmygosh,” Jason gasped, his mouth clamping shut.

“I’m okay,” Fluttershy said quickly, rising to all fours and smiling. “You just surprised me, is all.”

“You were doing great, kid, just fine,” the guard replied. “Just a little bit more, then I think we should let someone else have a turn.”

The colt nodded and opened his mouth again, and once again the invisible feeling of fatigue settled over Fluttershy, forcing her to suppress a shiver that welled up from the base of her spine and threatened to light up her entire back. After a moment, the colt backed away, though it was obvious he could have gone longer. “Th-that’s good,” he whispered.

“Good, real good, kid,” the guard clapped the colt on the shoulder and sent him off, directing him to the toys piled up in one corner. He turned to the small crowd still gathered in the middle of the floor, some of whom had leant forward in curiosity, but now cowered back beneath his gaze. “Now, who’s next?”

A few moments of hesitation passed, and then a pair of fillies left the rest of the group, trotting side-by-side. They were joined by another colt, then another, and just like that the group disintegrated and became a small mass of changelings toddling towards the pony. She cringed as they approached, but the eager little faces settled any doubts she might have had.

“Okay, um…form a line, please, that’s it…” she whispered passively, glancing up as one of the pink-shaded fillies waited to be scooped up in the guard’s magic. “Just…do what comes naturally.”

“You’ve got it,” the guard encouraged, picking up the filly and holding her up to Fluttershy’s face in a hue of glowing green. “Just remember to save some for your classmates; we’ve got a whole group in here.”

The next couple foals fed without word and without incident, all under the adults’ continued encouragement. Those who did feed usually bounded off to join the others who had just completed their first successful feeding on a live pony, rolling around in their victory and using their newfound energy to practically bounce off the walls.

“Gosh, I can’t believe how easy it is for a changeling to feed,” Fluttershy said mildly. Her tone sounded like something between awestruck and mild concern, like what a mother might say upon discovering her son had built a bear-proof robot suit, complete with bear-strangling claws.

“Well, it’s easier with a pony whose heart is so open,” the guard replied, looking on in concern as she shivered again. “Do you need to stop?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” she said, pasting a smile on her face, even though it was already almost impossible to hold her eyes open. Still, though her knees quaked and her head swam with every motion, she turned to the last foal, a particularly small filly with pink, glowing eyes and nubby little fangs that had barely begun to extend out from between her lips. The pegasus softened instantly on seeing the fear in the filly’s eyes. “Ohh, now what’s wrong?”

The filly looked up at the pegasus with big, wide eyes, then over her shoulder at the group of foals playing in the corner. “N-nothing,” she whispered shyly.

Fluttershy recognized the look instantly. In the filly’s mind, every single one of those other foals was staring at her, just waiting for her to screw up, ready to break out into mocking laughter the moment she made a mistake. And she would make a mistake, that much would be clear in the filly’s mind. The possibility that this was about to explode into a life-affecting, traumatizing moment would be steadily growing in her imagination, her wide, fearful eyes watching the group behind her. She should start hyperventilating in three…two…

The filly’s chest started rising and falling rapidly, her breath whistling between her fangs. She just barely managed to turn back to face the pegasus, whimpering in between frantic breaths. The pony smiled. For one of the very few times in her life, she knew immediately what she had to do.

“Mr. Guard, sir?” She asked timidly. “Could you maybe unstick my wings?”

The filly continued shivering in fear as the guard scanned Fluttershy, eyeing the goop gluing her wings to her body. “I’m…really not supposed to.”

“Please? I’ll still wear the collar, so it’s not like I can fly anywhere.”

“What do you need ‘em for anyway?”

Fluttershy looked down at the shivering little pile of chitin at her hooves and smiled warmly. “Something important.”

He shrugged and sighed. “I…guess I could, for a little while.”

“Thank you.”

“No funny business, though!” He said warningly, though his tone was as light and passive as could be. “I mean it! If anyone finds out I did this, we’ll all be in a lot of trouble!”

“Promise.”

He sighed again, then touched his horn to the hard, green shell sticking to her feathers. After a few moments, the goop took on a new shine, then slowly liquefied, and finally lifted away in little tendrils of green smoke. Fluttershy quivered and stretched them out, working the muscles for the first time in days. Though she never considered herself much of a flier, having her wings constricted for such a long time still felt like having a leg in a cast for too long.

“Thank you,” she whispered to the guard as she circled around the filly, placing herself between it and the rest of the group. The filly still shivered fearfully, though she did manage to look up at Fluttershy. Smiling reassuringly, Fluttershy dropped to her knees and fanned her wings out to encircle the little one. The filly squeaked fearfully, panicked eyes locking with Fluttershy’s baby blues.

“Hey, what’re you doing!?” The guard asked, but she simply ignored him.

“I know you’re scared, but look, now no one else has to see!” She whispered. The filly paused and looked around, finding herself almost completely surrounded by soft, yellow feathers. A little smile started to tug at the corners of her lips.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll close my eyes too, if you want,” Fluttershy added.

“N-no,” the filly stammered, but this time a wide grin spread across her face. “I think I’m gonna be fine now.”

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Fluttershy assured, even as she felt yet another bit of emotional energy disappear from her mind. Though she could barely hold herself upright, the pegasus maintained the wing-shield until the filly backed away and the shivers stopped rising up her spine. Smiling tiredly, Fluttershy pulled the little one in for a hug, running a hoof soothingly down her back. “You did great.”

“Thank you,” the little one said, hugging the pony’s neck with her forehooves stretched as far as they would go. “Thank you so much.”

A small moan sounded behind them. Both turned to the guard, his eyes scrunched-up in pain, one forehoof clutching at his chest. “Um…sir? Is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked timidly, her big, blue eyes peering up at him from behind her mane.

The guard took one look and slammed to the ground, writhing. “HNNGH! HNNGH! HNNNGH!” He replied, but managed to hold up a hoof, changing it into a griffon’s talon for the sole purpose of flashing a thumb’s up. “A-OKAY!” He gasped between spasms.

“A-are you sure?” She asked, taking a few steps towards him, eyes still misting over with concern.

“HNNGGH…YEAH! Yeah, I’m fine!” He spat, suddenly darting to his hooves. “I gotta…go…do the thing to…the other thing.”

“Um…okay?” She said, visibly baffled. Before she could react, however, he touched his horn to her wings and re-secured them beneath a layer of changeling goop, giving it a quick spread with a forehoof before galloping towards the door. “Wait! You can’t leave us in here!”

“I gotta go!” He repeated, nearly stumbling over the little filly just a few yards short of the door.

“Mistew? Awe you sure you’re okay?” She asked, her big, wide eyes locking with his.

“Not fair,” he whimpered, walloping a forehoof against his chest again. “HNNGH – YES! Yes, just need some air! And the thing! Done to…the other thing!” And just like that, he vanished out the door, leaving Fluttershy alone with a roomful of changeling foals. She took a few steps to follow, but the tether around her neck gave a few tugs to remind her of her prisoner status.

The pegasus sighed shakily. If something were to happen, like a fire or if the foals in front of her were to decide to take more than their fair share of love, what could she do? Not a whole lot, that much was certain. A touch of that old fear started to rear its ugly head again, but a little tap on her forehoof bought her attention back into reality.

“Miss Fluttershy?” It was Jason, gazing up at her with his own set of big, wide, baby-blues. “We were wondering if you would like to play with us.”

All of her fear vanished in an instant, a warm, natural smile spreading across her muzzle. “That would be nice, thank you.”

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Switch managed a few steps out into the hall before taking a swing at the crystal wall. He didn’t even mar the sparkling surface, his hoof bouncing off harmlessly, but damn did it feel good. “Get a hold a’ yourself, Switch,” he muttered. “Just a pony. She’s just a pony.” Just a kind, loving, beautiful mare who probably never had a selfish thought in her life…

This time, he head-butted the wall, his skull slamming into the crystal just a few yards away from the door to the daycare. “Shut up!” He screamed, his breath coming out in long yet rapid gasps. “Just a pony, she’s just your charge. A mission, nothing else.”

He just needed to clear his head, that was all. A good walk, and the little yellow pegasus would go back to being just another thing to be taken care of, another chore to handle for the swarm, like the laundry or mopping the cafeteria floors. Yes, that was what he needed. A nice walk. Thing is, he wondered as he trotted down the hallway. Am I sure I WANT her to go back to being ‘just a pony’?

He waved the thought off with a shake of his hoof, though he did spare a forlorn glance back over his shoulder. She was still his charge. He was meant to guard her, not just babysit her to make sure she didn’t attack any of the foals (although he knew by now she was as likely to do that as Chrysalis was to court the Princess of the Night). But then, she was with the swarm’s own younglings. Who would be stupid enough to attack something as cherished and protected as the changelings’ toddlers in the heart of their latest conquest?

And so, Switch continued his trot down the hallway, picking up speed as he walked until the tiled floors were whizzing by at a galloping speed. He never even noticed the malicious eyes watching him from around a corner, or the way they ignited with glee as he disappeared.

“Okay Dave, coast is clear,” the changeling behind the eyes hissed.

The changeling from the window grinned. “Awesome, so the yellow pony is unguarded?”

“Almost certainly,” the first changeling nodded. “Time to teach the bitch her real place in the swarm.”

Chapter XXV: Fluttersavior

Bait trudged back to his room with the trepidation of a condemned man walking to the gallows, or a coltfriend following his mare into a department store. Sure, his Queen had done a lot to soothe his wounded self-esteem, but what had he really accomplished during his short time with her? A promise for an Internal Affairs investigation? He knew those changelings, and wouldn’t have trusted most of them to tell the difference between their asses and a hole in the ground, much less track down murderers and foalnappers bent on destroying the government. Still, the Queen’s will was her own, and even with a record as impressive as his, he had no right to question it.

Still, she did raise a few valid points…

His ears folded back again as all the evidence swirled around in his mind. Now that he looked at it, he could see how completely circumstantial it all was. Everything he had could be explained away as half-baked conspiracy theories and coincidences. There was nothing at all to prove his queen wrong. So that raised the question: was she? Or was ol’ “Bait the Irate” rearing his ugly, paranoia-filled head again? Perhaps some changelings did have a reason to doubt every word out of his mouth. There were the Martian conspiracies he ranted about at tunnel junctions, the Illuminati threats he’d spent months tracking down, the supernatural creatures he could spend weeks chasing in the lower sections of the hive. Now that he looked back at it, didn’t so much of it appear kind of crazy? Didn’t it look like the actions of some changeling who was just stark-ravingly, frothing-at-the-mouth…irate?

For reasons he couldn’t quite understand, his trot picked up into a strong gallop. Suddenly, he just wanted to be back in the kitchen with his charge again. At the moment, he could use somepony calling him “smart,” and for some other reason he didn’t quite understand, when she did it, his chest felt all light and his heart got all poundy. He was so focused on getting back to the kitchen that he didn’t notice the changeling walking in his path until he bounced headfirst off the guy’s carapace.

“Ow…” Bait groaned, holding his head. “Why dontcha watch where you’re going!?”

“Why don’t you try…Bait?” Said the other changeling.

Oh no. Bait knew that voice. He wanted to groan, but managed a small, painfully awkward smile. “Hey, Switch.”

“Hey,” the larger changeling coughed, rubbing one foreleg over the other. “You…uh…you okay?”

“Yeah,” Bait sighed. “Haven’t seen you much since…you know…”

“Yeah,” Switch cut him off. “Yeah, I know.”

A silence as deep as it was awkward fell between the pair. “Welp,” Bait said finally. “I should probably get back to my charge…”

“Yeah…maybe…”

Bait paused suddenly, a thought crossing his mind. “Actually, you know what? My charge is…looking a little…down.”

“Yeah?” Switch thought back to Fluttershy, to those soft rosette curls, the gentle curve of that body. “Yeah, mine too.”

“You think we could arrange a…playdate? Something like that? Help them get each other’s spirits up?” And maybe give me some time with her around others so I can control myself, he wanted to add but didn’t.

Switch grinned. “Sure thing, buddy. That sounds like a great idea.”

“Yeah,” Bait smiled back. “Yeah, I think that will work, so long as nothing goes wrong before tomorrow...”

He suddenly paused, then lifted his ear, cocking his head queerly. Switch raised an eyebrow (or again, a bit of chitin over his eye where a brow would be). “Bait?” He asked. “What is it?”

“It’s…nothing,” Bait sighed. “It’s just that lately, for some reason, whenever somepony says they have to get moving before something happens, they’re interrupted by that something happening.”

“That’s…pretty crazy, dude. Even for you.”

Bait opened his mouth to protest, then closed it with a grimace. “Yeah, I…I know,” he sighed, awkwardly looking away

They were both interrupted by a loud, piercing shriek, coming from the direction Switch had been walking from. Both stallions froze for the quickest heartbeat of a second, then took off, their hooves sliding on the polished crystal floor as they frantically made for the daycare, Switch leading the way.

“Me and my big mouth,” Bait lamented.

“Just keep running!” Switch panted. “Whatever’s going on back there, it can’t be good!”

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Fluttershy didn’t think she was a bad pony. Quite the contrary, she thought she was fairly decent, at worst. A bit withdrawn, but she was working on it! And certainly that was nothing worth great punishment! So why, oh why, did fate find it necessary to throw irate dragons, escaped demon lords, and feral hellbeasts at her at every turn? Why was she currently being held against her will in a land that was supposed to be her vacation? And why was she staring down a couple big, nasty-looking changelings, now standing between her and the door?

The changeling foals all gathered around her, cowering against the pair advancing into the room. Some of them shivered. She could hear at least one of them crying. She would be crying too, if she didn’t have so many foals to look after. The changelings at the door looked so angry, and so cold…just something in the way they carried themselves really put her off, something so completely unlike the guard tasked with keeping her here. Something that would make a mare who spied this changeling on a street corner at night walk a little faster as she passed.

Still, she had foals in her care, so she stood her ground as they advanced, even managing to meet their eyes. The stallions just smirked at each other and closed the distance, one striding right up to her.

“Well, hey there, little pony,” he said, one corner of his mouth lifted in an expression that was more sneer than smile. “What’re you doing in our Queen’s palace?”

Suppressing a frightened squeak, Fluttershy cleared her throat and stepped between the stallions and the foals. She mustered all the courage in her body, channeling as much of Rainbow Dash or Applejack as she could, yet still her voice only came out as a frightened whisper: “I-I’m here because Chrysalis wants me t-to feed the foals.”

“Oh? She wants you t-to f-f-f-feed the foals?” The changeling cackled mockingly, looking to his friend, then over at the small group of little changelings cowering at Fluttershy’s hind legs. “Well, they look plenty full to me, don’t they, Dave?”

“They sure do,” the other stallion strode up to the pegasus, touching a hoof to her chin. She cringed, but remained where she was. “I think they’ve had enough now. I think it’s time we got some lovin’ too.”

Tears rolled down Fluttershy’s face. She sniffled, squeezing her eyes shut. She knew exactly what this was now. No use foolin’ herself any longer, as Applejack might say. “Please…just, not in front of them…not in front of…”

With her eyes shut, she didn’t even see the blow coming until it had cracked against her jaw. Even then, she didn’t realize what had happened until she was lying on her back, looking up at the crystal ceiling with her wings splayed out behind her and blood trickling out her nose. For a split-second, she thought she could convince herself that the arrival of the pair of changelings had all been a terrible dream, and that she had just tripped and bumped her head and conjured the entire encounter up in her fearful, anxious state. Those fantasies vanished once a rough set of hooves picked her up and stood her on her hooves.

“Up,” one of the stallions barked. “Bitch, you don’t get to tell us what to do, you just do like you’re told.”

“She’s got a point though, Dave,” the other changeling said, keeping a hateful glare on the foals. Most of them cowered away and shrank beneath it. “Even I got my limits.”

“You idiot, dontcha see the collar?” The changeling holding Fluttershy snarled and held up the tether binding her to the wall. “This shit’s used to keep manticores in check, we’d never get her outta here in a million years! ‘Sides, we gotta be gone in a hurry. We’re still supposed to be on goo duty, remember!?”

“Eh, you’re right,” the other changeling shrugged. “Alright, fine, but do it behind somethin’ alright? Just so the li’l ones don’t get no free show.”

“Whaddaya take me for? I ain’t no pedo!” Dave growled, searching around. Eventually, his eyes fell on the blackboard tacked up along one wall, next to the toy chest. Grinning, he dropped Fluttershy, walked over, and gave it a good yank, letting its top bindings pop out of the wall. The board fell with its bottom still secured, its top bashing the hard floor and forming a crude tent. “There. Ritzy enough, princess?”

“Just hurry up, we both gotta fit in before that big doofus gets back!” The other changeling grumbled, an eye darting to the door and back.

Fluttershy was dragged towards the gaping maw with all the tender love and care of a crocodile with a gazelle. She stumbled to keep up, her mind frozen in terror, tears and blood mixing on her cheeks. She had read about things like this before, but never in a million years could she have imagined anything like it happening to her. She was a celebrity (sort of), living in a quiet town where the threats came in the form of overactive hydras and manticores with thorns in their paws. The monsters weren’t shaped like her; the big terrible crimes were reserved for places like Canterlot and Manehattan. This…this was something that didn’t happen, not to her!

As she was shoved towards that dark place, she heard the clopping of hooves, and her rapist-to-be paused and looked over his shoulder. She followed his gaze. One of the foals had broken away from the pack, barreling towards them at full speed. “You leave ‘er alone!” He shouted, his voice confirming that this was, in fact, Jason: the first changeling to feed on her, the one with the funny name and mouth to go with it.

Of course, Jason barely made it halfway across the room before the other stallion scooped him up, wrapping his hooves around the foal. “Dammit kid, just let ‘er go! What’s one stupid pony to ya anyway!?” The stallion snarled, trying to keep the squirming child in his grip.

“Lemme go!” The colt yelled, bucking and squirming and flailing with his hooves, trying anything to break free. Of course, it was all for naught. Anypony could see that the little colt was far too weak to break free of the much larger changeling, but that didn’t keep him from trying. It honestly would have been heartwarming, were it not for the circumstances. Still, the outcome was totally inevitable; anypony could see it, which was what made the stallion’s actions so much more surprising.

Without warning, the larger changeling reared back and smashed a hoof into the smaller’s side, knocking the air out of his lungs. “I said calm down, dammit!” He bellowed as the smaller changeling fell over and wheezed.

Fluttershy’s jaw dropped. She had never, in her entire life, seen a more brazen display of complete jackassery. Something so awful, so pointlessly wicked, as striking a foal needed to be answered, and never one to step up to the plate if she could help it, she turned to the stallion still keeping a hoof squeezed tight around her foreleg. On seeing the look on his face, her jaw bounced a little, having nowhere to go since it had already been dropped once and hadn’t had time to pick itself back up again. Dave was actually smiling, grinning in approval of the monstrous display. As if to stamp his own mark into the tiny, beaten body at his friend’s hooves, as if…

As if…

All at once, Fluttershy’s fear melted into the purest rage that it was possible for a pony to feel. Her wrath was channeled into a needle-like focus, honing in on the nearest target as if it could destroy the stallion through sheer force of will alone. How could he!? On some strange level, she could understand rape. It was an awful crime carried out by the most pitiful excuses for stallions, but there was some demented, horrible logic behind it. They had a need and they could fill it. It was the sort of logic behind most murders and muggings, but it could be understood. But foal abuse? To strike a defenseless foal for no reason? What kind of…what horrible stallion could…how could they even…

“How could you?” She whispered.

That brought Dave’s attention back to her. He immediately wound up, ready to deal another blow, but it was too late. All she had to do was look at him. His jaw dropped. His hoof went limp. Her Stare intensified.

“How could you?” She whispered again.

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Gary did not like the way things had gone ever since Dave had approached him with the idea that they teach one of these little ponies a lesson. That she was an Element Bearer had sweetened the deal though, and the fact that the mare in question was utterly gorgeous certainly helped, but then came with it the stipulation that they’d have to sneak into the local nursery. A changeling didn’t just walk into the nursery and assault a staff member, even if that staffer was a Prisoner of War! Not if that changeling didn’t have plans to spend the rest of their life in a very small, very lonely hole in the ground, that was.

And now, here was this kid, rushing to help the pony out like he thought he was some knight in one of those damned fairytales ponies were always telling each other. Just what he needed. Even a good belting to the side hadn’t been enough: the kid was still struggling and still shouting, even though the pain in his side was visible in his movements and the way he kept a hoof pressed to the chitin there. Jeez, what would it take for this kid to learn? Maybe another good belting would get the lesson through…

A low-pitched gasp interrupted Gary as his hoof wheeled back for another hit. He paused and looked up, his hoof still wound back, and emitted a low gasp of his own. Dave, one of the best and toughest changelings he knew, was backing into a corner, his jaw working up and down in a look of absolute terror. In front of him, the pony just stared, sitting in one place, not even moving, just…staring. Which was weird. Forgetting all about the colt, Gary took a few steps towards his friend, who was still apparently determined to materialize through the wall just with sheer force of effort, his hooves sliding on the crystal floor.

“Dave,” he said. “Dave man, you…”

Then the pony turned that Stare upon him, and the rest of the world disappeared behind a white sheet of terror. It was as if the clouds had parted and those eyes specifically had appeared from them, focused on him and only him. He was nothing. He was tiny. He was an insect before a wrathful god.

“You!” The pony hissed in a voice like the howl of some wretched thing in the woods late at night. “You think you can just hit helpless foals because you feel like it!?”

“I…” he trembled, swallowed, tried again. “I’m sorry, I…”

The pony’s eyes widened, and-

In third grade, Gary had stolen Miss Woodfellow’s apple right off her desk. He didn’t mean to, he was just so hungry…

Last winter, the changelings two holes down asked for some extra fuel, and he told them he didn’t have any to spare. He lied. One of the fillies in that family froze to death that same…

Stop…

For a joke, Gary had set a timberwolf pup’s tail on fire back in the fourth grade. It was funny until the fire spread. The pup had screamed so much…

Stop! Please!

Last summer, a pretty little mare from the next hive over had stopped by the bar he liked for some refreshments. She’d been easy pickings, no family, no friends, so easy to talk right into bed and leave behind the next…

STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!

Mercifully, it stopped then. Gary collapsed onto the ground, whimpering, his whole body trembling. Somewhere far away, a door burst open and he was picked up by someone who obviously didn’t care if he got whiplash from the force of it or not. But now, Gary just couldn’t bring himself to care about that. Gary didn’t care about a lot of things just then.

A massive changeling held him in his grasp. A face he recognized from a time before all this fear and terror was glaring down at him. Gary recognized him immediately. “Switch?”

“Yeah?” The changeling snarled, the same changeling who, five summers ago, Gary had broken wind near and blamed it on him, spoiling his date with a pretty little mare from the mining quarters.

“I’m sorry, it really was me, I’m the one who farted, I fucked up your date,” Gary whimpered, then broke down into tears.

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There were many things Switch had been expecting when he’d heard the scream from the toddler’s nursery. A child that had stumbled and fallen, and was now bleeding with ichor all over the place and poor little Fluttershy sitting in a corner, totally overwhelmed. Perhaps a fire that had broken out which was now cooking the trapped pony alive while the children could only watch. Some part of him, albeit a small one, even worried that she had simply snapped and now stood over a pile of dead colts and fillies, though the rest of him was quick to scoff at that idea. The other possibilities involved gas leaks, a fire, an assault by a pack of feral gryphons, all ratcheting up the ridiculousness levels until he started wondering if a tear in the walls of the space-time continuum had allowed some Lovecraftian horror with spike-covered tentacles to slip through and drag the nursery’s inhabitants off to some hellish other dimension.

In other words, the last thing Switch had expected to see upon ramming through the door into the nursery was Dave the Dick, curled up in the fetal position in one corner, and his buddy Gary crying how sorry he was for some stupid farting incident he could barely remember! Nearby, Fluttershy kept some odd glare up, switching between the two changelings rapidly, watching them like a guard at a prison camp.

“F-Fluttershy?” He asked. “Are you alr…”

She turned that glare on him, and…

His screams filled the forest. The little colt, the one he’d spent so many hours in the Hive mocking, laid against the tree, blood gushing out his mouth, breathing heavily, as those awful roars filled the air…

“B-Bait…” Switch whimpered, sinking to his stomach like a whipped dog. “I’m so sorry…it was all my fault, all of it. I was so stupid.”

“Mister Guard!?” Fluttershy gasped, blinking once. Just as suddenly as it had arrived, the glare disappeared, and so did that awful, wretched feeling of doom. Shaking his head, Switch rose to his hooves, finding a visibly distraught Fluttershy.

“What happened!?” He gasped. He’d only wanted to ask as a question, but she cowered and whimpered as he barked at her out of simple fear and frustration. Realizing his mistake, he quickly backed off. “Er…I’m…”

“You leave her alone, too!” Another voice chimed in, this one belonging to the funny little colt from earlier. Jeremy, was it? “She was only trying to protect us!”

“Protect…” Switch looked the colt over, currently being tended to by Bait. The little changeling had an angry, pulsating green mark on his side, the chitin dented in the distinctive shape of a hoofmark. It didn’t take Marelock Hooves to figure out what had happened here, and surprisingly, the anger which flared up inside him immediately honed in on the other stallions in the room, rather than the obvious suspect.

“What. Did you do?” He hissed out the corner of his mouth, not even turning to see Dave there.

The only response was a whimper, as well as a half-gasped apology from the other stallion behind him. Switch’s hooves trembled. Dave had always been the kind of stallion who enjoyed leaving firecrackers in teacher’s desks when he wasn’t feeding them to unsuspecting woodland creatures, but this…

“David?” He whispered. “Gary? I know that’s you there. You assholes are always together when you’re pulling shit off.”

Switch waited an extra minute or two, then heard a shaky: “Yes?”

“You’re going to follow Mr. Bait here,” Switch nodded in Bait’s direction. “You’re going to follow him to the throne room and turn yourself in to the Praetorian guards. You’re going to tell those guards everything that you did here, and Mr. Bait is going to listen. And if you leave out any of your crimes, if Mr. Bait tells me you forgot to even mention the scratch you put on that chalkboard in the corner there…”

He motioned to the chalkboard, and then reared up against the other stallion, glaring into his eyes. “I will kill you. I will personally drag you out of the barracks in the middle of the night, slit your throats, and leave your bodies in one of a hundred thousand holes in the hive which noling ever goes down. Believe me, they will find the cure for feather fever, the flu, Tatzlworm rash, and testicular cancer before they find you. Do I make myself clear?”

Not the cleverest of threats, certainly, but it did the trick. The wide-eyed, almost child-like look of fearful understanding in Dave’s eyes was all the confirmation Switch needed. With a snort, Switch turned away and sat with his eyes away from the door until he heard three sets of hooves leaving and the door shutting behind him. Then, the massive stallion let in a long, slow breath, his wings buzzing faintly on the exhale. Thank goodness Bait had been quick enough on the uptake to get those two shitbags out of there, and thank Chrysalis he’d found the self-control to turn away when needed. Another moment in the same room with the likes of those two, and Switch might have easily pounded their brains in, foals watching or not.

Suddenly, the sound of soft weeping filled the air, like someone who was desperately trying their hardest not to cry and failing miserably. He turned to where Fluttershy still laid, letting out another long breath at the tears cascading down her cheeks.

“Hey,” he said carefully, slowly approaching her, his ears and wings folded back submissively. Again, he extended his hoof with as little aggression as possible. “It’s alr…”

He didn’t even get to finish reassuring her before she leapt into his hooves, sobbing into his shoulder. In shock, his black hoof still extended out, he only stood there for a few minutes as she bawled. Eventually, he found the presence of mind to wrap his hooves around her, hugging her close, letting out another sigh. “It’s alright…” he repeated, his head whirling with how fast things had gone wrong. All at once, Bait’s suggested playdate sounded like one of the best ideas either of them had ever had.

“It’s not,” she sobbed. “It’s not, it’s not, it’s not! It’s all my fault…Jason got hurt, and he was just…”

As her crying devolved into a mess of incoherent babbling, Switch nearly face-hooved. The kid’s cries had summoned him in the first place, and here he’d practically forgotten all about him! Some soldier he’d made. Slowly, with near imperceptible pressure, he turned and twisted with Fluttershy until he could catch a good look at the mass of foals behind him, all without disturbing her. To his surprise, Jason was currently in the middle of a mass of fillies, all oohing and aahing over his “battle-scar.” One of whom, the shy little filly Switch who’d had so much trouble during feeding time, had even worked up the courage to stroke little Jason’s neck. As he continued watching, Jason looked over at him, grinned, cocked his head in the shy filly’s direction, and winked once.

Okay, that damn kid was way too cool for his own good. If he didn’t slow down, he would wind up ruling the mares of both the Hive and Equestria without even trying. He’d be able to knock his hoof against the ground, and have a lineup of mares pop up next to him asking what he was doing that night. On the plus side, with that handled Switch was left totally free to console Fluttershy. So points to the kid.

“Fluttershy,” he whispered into her ear. “I want you to listen to me very carefully, do you understand?”

It took a little while, but she nodded.

“You didn’t ask for any of this,” he hissed, his tone firm. “Just like somepony doesn’t ask to be mugged because they walk into a poorly-lit alleyway at night, what happened here isn’t your responsibility in the slightest.”

“B-but I…”

“Some ponies are just nasty, mean mother…jerks that need to locked up, and that’s all,” he said. “You didn’t ask them to barge in where they weren’t welcome, that’s a decision they made all on their own. You didn’t ask them to interpret what happened earlier as some sort of aggressive stance against their status as bad-colts, that was another decision they made all on their own. Your only crime here was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Please tell me you understand.”

He felt her nod against his cheek, and then waited a few extra minutes for her to break the hug. She backed off again, and his heart sank at seeing her muzzle poking just slightly out from behind her mane. Dear sweet Chrysalis, if she would just peek out from her mane, let him drink in that gorgeous face…

Wait…did he really just think that of some pony mare? And one of the Element Bearers responsible for the failure at Canterlot, no less!? He had to get control of himself!

“I…say we should call it quits for today, huh?” He said, the words practically tumbling over each other in a race to get out his mouth. “I mean, after all this excitement…”

“Awww…” all the foals moaned.

“Now, now, I’m sure Miss Fluttershy is very tired after today’s…events,” he said, trying to put a near-rape that was partially his fault as nicely as possible. Yeah sure, and Sombra was a bit of a jerk and Discord got a little out of control at points. “She must be just aching for…”

“Actually, I was hoping I could spend a bit more time here,” Fluttershy put in, her hoof scraping bashfully against the crystalline floor. “I-I think I could use some time to…to cope with what’s happened…”

Switch gazed up into those baby-blue eyes and said yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Anything you want, everything you need, please just ask. For you, I would climb the tallest mountain, fight off the worst scum of Equestria, all to make sure you had what you needed to keep on being you, to keep doing that shy little lip bite, that bashful little mane-flip, because every time you do those things I feel like I could rule the world, just tear down this world and build up a new one, all for you, all so you can feel…

“Well, if you say so, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he waved off the dream or hallucination or whatever the hell that voice was that stopped his heart every time she talked. “Just worried for you, is all.”

“Oh, please don’t be,” she said as she walked past to join the foals, and he quickly raised a hoof, touching it to her chest.

“On one condition!” He said quickly, amazed by how soft and warm her coat felt, even through his chitin.

“Oh…wh-what’s that?” She stammered.

A kiss…just one, please… “You have to tell me what you did to those two,” he whispered, jerking his head towards the door, making sure to lean in so the foals couldn’t hear. “Just in case it’s permanent.”

“Oh, no, my Stare is never permanent,” she said.

“Your…Stare?”

“It’s…an instinct, sort of. I can usually only use it on animals, but if I’m stressed enough, or angry enough, I can use it on sapient creatures, too.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “I get that. What almost happened here would surely get anypony enraged enough, completely understandable.”

“Thanks,” she sighed. “But it’s really not nearly as great and powerful as all that, it took far too long for my Stare to kick in, honestly.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, it wasn’t until they hit Jason that it switched on,” she said casually. “I…I was totally useless until then…”

Switch blushed as the pegasus’s lips curved into a thin smile. At that moment, he realized something utterly and completely terrifying, something that caused his stomach to twist into knots and his jaw to disengage and his knees to weaken: that he had never wanted anything more than to kiss those lips right there. He wanted to pull her into his embrace, shower her with kisses, inhale the scent of those beautiful rosette curls, and finally look into those gorgeous, living pools that she called eyes and tell her she would never have reason to be afraid again, that he would lay down his life for her, hold her, keep her safe for the rest of all time if needed. In that moment, he would plunge into the shadows and make war with the entire Praetorian guard themselves if it meant allowing her a single night of restful sleep.

Then the moment passed, leaving a large, scarred-up changeling quivering on his knees, his mouth too dry, his body too weak, and his mind reeling with the ramifications of what he’d just felt. She was his charge, dammit! She was supposed to just be a food source for the hatchlings!

Except she wasn’t. She had revealed herself to be so much more, and there would be no going back to his old image of her. So where did that leave him? Stuck, that’s where. What should have been a simple assignment meant to give him a break from actual danger had just transformed into a heart-breaking exercise in endurance, forcing him to remain close to something he yearned for but could never have. What was he supposed to do, ask his prisoner out on a date? If she didn’t cringe in fear or laugh in his face, he knew she still deserved far more than some scarred-up soldier from an enemy race. No, all he could do now was sit here, watching what he could never have, picturing things that could never be, and hope he could retain his sanity long enough to return to a life where she would be out of sight and, hopefully with time, out of mind.

At least then, the spike of pain shooting through his heart every time he looked at her might lose its barbed point.

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Walking back to the kitchen from the throne room, Bait couldn’t help but wonder if he’d forgotten something, something of mild importance…

“Eight-hundred and twenty-five thousand, six-hundred and forty-eight bottles of pop on the wall! Eight-hundred and twenty-five thousand, six-hundred and forty-eight bottles of paaahhhhp! Take one down, pass it around…”

Oh, right.

He passed by a pair of spear-wielding guards as he made his way to the kitchen. Well, maybe “spear-wielding” wasn’t a good description. Perhaps “spear-lying-next-to-while-rolling-around-and-clenching-ears-while-foaming-at-the-mouth” would fit better. Stepping over the fallen guards’ bodies, he hopped in and found Pinkie exactly as he’d left her.

“Eight-hundred and twenty-five thousand, six-hundred and forty-seven…” he snickered and tapped his hoof loudly, and in an instant, the solid chunk of rock sitting in the kitchen vanished, allowing the pink mare to fall.

“Woah!” She started, but he was under her in a heartbeat, catching her before she could hit the ground.

“Baity!” She sang. “Hiiiii!”

“Yeah, hey,” he said, setting her back on all four hooves.

She giggled as she stretched her legs, working out any kinks that might have popped up. “Welp, not the first time I’ve had a stallion under me, and definitely not the shortest,” she said cheerfully. “So kudos to you!”

“Er…oh for the love of…” he started.

She giggled again. “You got that a lot faster than Twilight,” she snorted, and Bait decided right then and there that the snort, in fact, only added to the adorableness that was Pinkie Pie’s giggle. “So, how did it go? You got your own awesome super-secret badass team of agents to help you destroy all evil?”

Bait drooped instantly. The few seconds he’d spent in her presence had already made him forget the reason he’d left in the first place, but now it all came roaring back. His shoulders dropped and his ears drooped, his wings folding close to his back.

“Ohh, guess not?” Pinkie said, her eyes glistening with concern.

Bait shook his head. “She was right to,” he said quietly. “Everything we have is circumstantial; we’ve got nothing that can prove something’s really going on here.”

“But…what about that mare? The one who disappeared? And what about whoever killed those other changelings?” She said sadly. “Are those baddies all just going to get away?”

“The Hive has its own police force and internal affairs teams to investigate those things,” he sighed.

She picked up on what the sigh meant the moment it left his lips. “But you don’t think they’re gonna do much good.”

Bait snorted derisively. “I’ve met those guys. Buncha fat pencil-pushers more concerned with promotions and who’s supplying the donuts for the next conference than they are with actually tackling crime,” he grumbled, walking past her and tying his apron back on. “Don’t get me wrong, some of ‘em are alright, but most of them?”

Bait shook his head, taking his frustrations out on the bowl of batter sitting on the stove, which he whipped up into a froth within seconds. “Couldn’t find their own asses with all four hooves and printed instructions! Great if you wanna hand out some tickets to jaywalkers, but against a massive military conspiracy comprised of guys with combat training? No way. Not in a million years.”

He paused at the sound of her giggling, followed by another snort. “Their own asses with printed instructions, good one!” She guffawed.

Bait paused in his rage-fuelled whisking to listen to that giggle a while longer. Nope, not bad at all, he confirmed with a little grin.

“Well, I just hope you had a good chat with the Queen,” she said, sliding in beside him and taking her place cracking eggs into a bowl. “You were gone such a long time: I got over a hundred thousand bottles of pop!”

“I noticed,” he said with a grin. “Actually, I was helping my partner out with something.”

“He’s the big one? Switch, right?” She asked.

“That’s him,” Bait pointed out, feeling far better than he should have about the fact that she’d actually paid attention to the hours he’d spent rambling about his life in the past day. “Bit of a dick, but probably the best friend a stallion could ask for.”

“What’d he need help with?”

“Oh, he needed help with his charge…” he replied as nonchalantly as possible.

Pinkie paused in her work. He gazed up at her: her mane had visibly deflated a few inches, and her eyes shimmering with tears. Her breath started coming in heaving gasps. “What happened to Fluttershy?” She whispered.

Bait blinked, wondering just how in the hell she’d pieced together that her friend was his friend’s charge. Ugh, it must have been the way he’d danced around the topic of Switch’s current duties in the hive. It only made sense that if he was assigned to Pinkie, then Switch would be charged with the yellow pegasus. And now he’d just revealed that something had almost happened to her. Crap, he was in it now.

“There was an…incident with another changeling…” Bait started.

“A stallion?” She whispered.

Bait grimaced. Damn, but she was good! “Yeah. N-nothing happened, though! I swear!”

“No, but it almost did, didn’t it?” She was still quiet.

Bait bit his lip at that. He had a sudden flashback of the time his teacher had asked him what exactly had happened to his fang and wing. He’d wanted to lie then as badly as he did now. Except he couldn’t. Nothing he could come up with on the spot would sound nearly believable enough. “Yes. It could have.”

The gasping became full-on hyperventilating now. Tears brimmed in those humongous baby-blues, and before Bait knew what he was doing, he’d swept her up in his hooves.

“She’s okay, I promise, really,” he whispered, his brain still adjusting to the fact that he was consoling one of the key ponies responsible for the Hive’s failure at Canterlot.

“On the outside, maybe,” she whispered back, her tears soaking his cheek.

Bait inhaled and exhaled. He knew where this was going. Still, he saw no harm in it. After all, they would be right there, and where was the harm in letting it happen while they were supervising? “You want to see her?”

Pinkie sniffled, but he felt her nod.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll arrange for it. I can’t promise anything, but…I’ll try.” A playdate, as he’d put it when he’d talked with Switch.

She sniffled again, pulling away. “Thank you,” she whimpered. “And I’m sorry.”

He tilted his head at her, but then quickly waved her off with a hoof. “It’s alright. I’m the one who went to the Queen so prematurely; it’s not your fault she shot me down again.”

She matched his confused head tilt for a second, and then a tiny smile lit up her face. “Oh, I wasn’t referring to that. I was referring to other things, like blasting you in the face and calling you a loser during the invasion.”

“Aw, that,” he shook his head. “That was war, Pinkie, it’s okay. I’ve been beat up way worse.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, see this?” He held up his foreleg so she could see one of the holes, which was a little bit wider than the others and cracked along its edges. “I got this from a bandit’s spear out in the Badlands. Wound up breaking his jaw in seven places before he finally gave up.”

“Ooh!” She said as she went to work inflating his male pride. “What about this?” She pointed to a bit of chitin on his side that was indented.

“Bank heist in Trottingham,” he said. “One of the security guards got his hooves on a sledgehammer and managed to do a number on me before I glued him down.”

“That was you!? I saw that in the Equestria Times!” She gasped, sending his ego skyrocketing. “And then they found all the bits were donated to an orphanage in the Griffon Empire!”

“Had to make sure the greedy bastards couldn’t reclaim it,” Bait snickered.

“Wow, you guys have done a lot!” She gushed, looking him over before finally falling on his crushed ear. “Hey, what about this? I bet that’s a great story!”

His wings flicked a bit, then drooped, his ears following suit as best they could. “It is…but…it’s a little more private…”

“Oh,” she quickly retreated. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.”

“No, don’t be sorry, you have a right to be curious,” he replied. “I’ll tell you later, alright? Now’s not the time.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “And again, I’m sorry.”

“I already toldja you don’t have to be.”

“No, this time I do,” she said, grinning sheepishly. “I just noticed I kinda left a little bit of snot on you before I pulled away earlier.”

“You what!?” He gasped, and then he finally noticed the cold, quivering blob stuck to his cheek. He shivered, his lips pursing, his eyes squeezing shut. “Ew.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be, you know why?” He grinned evilly and prepped himself. “I’m gonna give it right back to ya.”

Her eyes widened as he advanced. “N-now Baity…” she said, backing away. “W-we can talk about this…”

“Talking time’s over, pony,” he grinned, and then lunged. She quickly side-stepped, squealing in panic as he whirled around and dove, grabbing for her. This time, she twisted to toss his body into a pile of flour sacks gathered in the corner, sending up a cloud of white dust.

“Another victory for Equestria!” She gasped cheerfully, pumping her hooves in victory.

“Not quite!” He bellowed, shaking himself off as he leapt out of the flour. “Changelings aren’t so easily defeated, little pony!”

Squealing like a filly, Pinkie rounded the counter, the white-coated changeling close on her hooves. The pair ran a couple laps around the kitchen before Bait finally had the bright idea to bound over the counter itself, upsetting a bowl filled with melted chocolate as he tackled Pinkie to the floor.

“Hey, no fair!” She giggled.

“All’s fair in love and war, balloon-butt,” he snickered, keeping her pinned by the shoulders. He mused quickly how he’d been consoling this same mare just moments before, and now they were giggling and rolling around like foals. Well, such was life with the mental rollercoaster that was Pinkie Pie.

“Oh?” She asked, her big, goofy grin narrowing to a little smile. “And which is this, then?”

Suddenly aware he was now pinning down somepony he had already determined to be a highly-attractive mare, Bait’s mind emptied out entirely, any attempt at finding a clever counter falling flat before it even reached his lips. “Umm…” he said.

Pinkie’s little smile turned into a curious, cocked eyebrow. “What?”

“Umm…” he repeated intelligently.

She watched him with that raised eyebrow a few more seconds before her eyes widened. “Bait?” She asked.

“Umm…” he continued, lowering himself a little closer. “I…uh…”

Fate can oftentimes intervene in our lives in mysterious ways. A misplaced set of car keys can mean the difference between a fatal accident and an uneventful commute to work. A few degrees of heat can determine whether or not grandma slips and breaks her spine during her morning walk or finds a penny in a puddle. Barring something as creative or random as these, there’s always the classic standby: an inconveniently-timed interruption from a colleague.

“Sir!” A changeling guard gasped, storming into the kitchen. “I heard something and…”

It took the newcomer all of five seconds to drink in the scene and come to the only reasonable conclusion: his fellow guard, the prisoner, him on top of her, the bowl of upturned chocolate, the flour coating the changeling…

The newcomer drank it all in with his eyes wide, then slowly backed away, tilting his helmet low as he quietly retreated back to the hallway. “I didn’t see nothin’,” he mumbled, then latched the door shut.

Bait rocketed back to his hooves, helping Pinkie up when her hoof popped up. “Thanks,” she said, looking after the kitchen door and giving another one of those snort-giggles. “Wow, that must’ve looked really bad.”

“Yeah,” Bait sighed. But that bad? Really, would it have been that bad?

Pinkie quickly yawned and trotted back to the small, tucked-away corner of the kitchen she’d taken as her quarters. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Baity,” she said. “I’ll just tuck myself in tonight.”

“R-right,” he said, catching himself before he could watch her go, studying that delightfully-rounded, pink flank dancing in his vision…

Bait sighed and shook his head, trotting out the door for his shift in the caverns. This job was seriously getting to him. If only…

Then he paused mid-step, rolled his eyes, and trotted back to the kitchen.

“Baity?” Pinkie called. “Are you still there? I just realized changeling pods aren’t like normal beds. I can’t just tuck myself in.”

“You and me both, sister,” he snickered, laughing at his own stupidity. “Hang on, Pinkie, I’m comin’.”

Chapter XXVI: Dinner And A Show

Bait blinked and looked around, confused. He was in a restaurant of some sort. Pretty upscale, by the looks of it. A smattering of ponies sat in a corner, but the vast majority of dimly-lit, posh booths were populated with changelings. Not soldiers on-duty though, this was no mess hall. The folded napkins and silken tablecloths and waiter-ponies in tuxedoes and tiny mustaches were more than enough to tell him that. In addition, most of the parties were mixed-gender: one mare and one stallion to a table. Most notably, he was one of the few tables that had a mixture of races. He found that odd. Almost as odd as the iceberg lettuce in some sort of orange dressing sitting on a fancy china plate in front of him. His muzzle wrinkled. He hated lettuce, and was already preparing to ask the waiter for something else when he or she came back. Something nice and safe, like a large grub from the underground, preferably still wriggling.

His gaze drifted up, and his heart froze. Pinkie was sitting in front of him, unrestrained, giggling with that yellow pegasus from the first day of the invasion. He tensed up, ready to tackle and restrain them both, but then he noticed the goop covering the pegasus’s wings and the little stone still stuck to Pinkie’s back, revealed when she reached across the table for a salt shaker. He relaxed again. Okay, this was good. Obviously, whatever had happened, he was still in the Crystal Empire. At least he had that.

“Bait?” Bait’s head swiveled around to meet Switch’s gaze. He was wearing the sombrero from their time chasing the exact two mares in front of them. Bait frowned. Stranger and stranger.

“Yes, Switch?” He asked, his gaze drifting back to the giggling ball of pink energy before him. She had just shared a joke with the pegasus and was giggling wildly, while the pegasus covered her mouth daintily with a hoof. Bait noticed Switch’s gaze drift back to the pegasus.

“What’re we doing here?” He asked, still watching the pegasus as if she were about to reveal the cure for cancer in her dainty little giggle. “The last I remember, we were in the meeting hall, and they…”

“…they asked us something.” Bait frowned. “They wanted to come here…Pinkie heard of this place, wanted to try the local cuisine…”

It was all coming back to him now. Meeting with Switch and his charge in a small cavern, watching Fluttershy and Pinkie bound around from sheer happiness at seeing one another, dodging awkward glances from his long-time teammate, and then the mares had trotted up and asked if they could do dinner someplace nice. They were going to say no, about to say it, and then their eyes got this weird, wavery effect, and blue sparkles…sparkles everywhere…

“Yeah, I remember,” Switch’s forehead-chitin furrowed. “What the hell? Some kinda…pony mind trick? Have we been hypnotized?”

Bait’s frown continued until he drank in Pinkie’s warm laughter. That bubbly sound which filled his chitin with warmth, as if the fluorescent blood in his veins was rising a couple degrees, giving his black cheeks a green hue. He turned to his longtime teammate in embarrassment, ready with some excuse about a previously-unmentioned lettuce allergy, until he noticed the same color on Switch’s cheeks as he drank in the yellow pegasus. Switch looked dumbly down at him and grinned with all the intelligence of a monkey in a cage.

“You too, huh?” Bait asked flatly.

“Yeah,” Switch sighed, turning back to the yellow pegasus. “We’re so screwed.”

“Hey!” Pinkie said suddenly, tossing herself in between the two. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

“Nothing!” Both stallions gasped.

“Sports!” Bait added.

“Violent films!” Switch said. If both could have face-hooved without drawing more attention from the crowd surrounding them, they would have.

Pinkie looked back and forth between them curiously, an eyebrow rising. Sweat gathered on both stallions’ foreheads, then Fluttershy said: “Pinkie, leave them alone, they have a lot to catch up on that’s none of our business.”

Pinkie frowned, then beamed again. “Okay!” She sang, bouncing back into her seat while the stallions sighed in relief. If it had been possible, both would have bounded across the table and kissed the yellow pegasus full on the mouth right at that moment, though neither would ever admit it.

“Why is that though?” Pinkie said before anypony (or anyling) could gather their marbles.

“Er…what?” Bait asked intelligently.

“Well, you two are partners at least, right?” She cocked her head in Bait’s direction. “Pretty much the only thing you’ll talk about is all the awesome stuff you’ve done together, Baity.”

Switch hunched his eyebrows and looked over at Bait while the smaller changeling shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “It’s…not all I talk about…” he said with a weak cough.

“Really? That’s all he talks about?” Switch grinned at Bait like a shark encountering an abnormally large and slow trout. “My oh my, glad to see I’ve had such an impact on him.”

“Wait,” Fluttershy stared blankly at the pair. “I haven’t heard a word about this.”

Bait perked up and slowly swiveled his head at Switch, whose ragged, blackened ears promptly folded back. “C-c’mon, Fluttershy, I-I’ve mentioned this…”

“U-um, not that I can recall,” she said quietly, ducking behind her mane.

“Oh, really?” Bait nearly shouted, leaning against the table while glaring at his partner. “Really!? Not a word about me!? Really!? As if I didn’t fucking exist!?”

“Oh, come off your high horse,” Switch sneered, all pretense of civility forgotten. “So you mentioned your buddy to your little fillyfriend, and that makes you the better stallion. Wooptie-fucking-doo, however did you manage?”

“Wuh-oh…guys?” Pinkie said, cringing back.

“At least I acknowledged you!” Bait slammed his hooves against the table. “At least I didn’t try and forget you existed, like you apparently did with me!”

“Um…guys?” Fluttershy whispered.

“And can you blame me!?” Switch screamed, bolting up from the table. “Fifteen years! Fifteen years of close calls and blood and sweat and tears, and in the first slightly embarrassing moment, you turned your back on me!”

“G-guys?” Pinkie tried one last time.

“Of course I was fucking embarrassed! You straight-up committed a hate crime in the middle of the Hive! Did you seriously expect me to support that!?”

“Wait, hate crime?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, excuse me for making sure all the homo love stayed where it belonged! Excuse me for keeping us safe from drinking that poison!”

“Hoboy…” Pinkie shrank in her seat, looking around at the ponies and changelings at the other tables turning in their direction.

“Oh, I’m sorry, thank you Switchy,” Bait said, leaning back. “I didn’t realize you were protecting us from the homo-poison your dad made up to cover his stupid, outdated, irrational hate!”

“You leave my father out of this! He was the toughest stallion there was!”

“Your dad was a bigoted, drunken asshole!”

By now, all eyes in the restaurant were on the small, strange group sitting in the candlelight. Everyone could tell where this was going, even those who hadn’t been paying attention. Most of the couples, pony and changeling, had already excused themselves. The changeling waitstaff stood at the ready, watching the larger changeling as his hooves tensed on the table, clenching so hard that a cord stood out on his neck.

“You have five seconds to take that back,” he hissed at his dining partner.

Bait never broke eye contact as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his forehooves over his chest. He enunciated his words loudly and clearly, exaggerating each syllable, dragging the phrase out long enough for the tension in the room to hit the breaking point (and for a few more of the less aggressive couples to flee the danger zone): “Bigoted. Drunken. Asshole.”

He saw the way his partner’s shoulder flinched, the momentary wind up before the larger stallion’s hoof would lash out in a powerful jab to the throat. Switch’s shoulders tensed, ready to whip his hooves up in a block, when Pinkie darted in between them. “Stop it! Both of you!” She barked.

Both changelings had been so totally focused on one another, it had been easy to forget the mares sitting across from them. At least, easy until a couple hundred pounds of pink horsey dropped in between them.

Pinkie glared at them both, switching between Bait and Switch easily. “You two should be ashamed!” She announced. “Fighting in public like a couple of colts!”

“I…” Bait started, but a quick glare from her searing baby-blues silenced him.

“You’ve ruined this dinner, driven away ponies AND changelings that had just been trying to enjoy a good meal, and you scared Flutters!”

Both stallions finally took note of the yellow pegasus sitting across from them, cowering behind her mane and shivering. “Aw shoot,” Switch said. “Fluttershy, I’m so…”

“Now, I may not agree with the way either of you has handled this entire situation, but I think we all can agree that whatever’s been happening, it isn’t worth your friendship!” She spat. “Don’t you think so!? Is what you’re fighting about really worth losing that?”

Bait’s breath caught in his throat as he looked past her, towards Switch. Something twisted in his chest as he watched the larger changeling rub the scar over his eye. Bait sat back down, only now aware of a dull ache in his bad fang.

“Well!?” Pinkie asked expectedly.

“It’s…not…” Switch said. “We may not see eye-to-eye about this, but it’s not worth losing everything we’ve got.”

“I think what he thinks about homosexuality is disgusting and dated,” Bait sneered, but when Pinkie glared at him his gaze fell. “But…if I ain’t there, I’d just worry all the time about who’s taking care of him.”

“I can handle myself!”

“Switch, please! Last time we were split up for a mission, I found you living on a diet of pure ramen!” Bait scoffed.

“Really?” Pinkie looked over at Switch with a queasy look. “Ew, what are ya, a college freshman?”

“I just like the taste!” He shouted defensively.

“That, and you can’t cook worth half a damn,” Bait snickered.

“I can cook!”

“You burned peanut butter and jelly. That is a sign from the gods that you are not meant to cook,” Bait scoffed.

Switch just grinned, grabbing his partner up in a death grip and forcing a noogie on him. “At least I can ride all the roller coasters at any theme park.”

Bait turned bright green with embarrassment.

“Baity!” Pinkie giggled. “Is that true!?”

“One time!” Bait screeched. “One time, some near-sighed old coot said I wasn’t tall enough when I so totally was, and he had to take a closer look to see! Once!”

“Once is enough, shortie,” Switch snickered.

“You wanna finish what we started!?” Bait asked, but the grin he shared told Pinkie everything she needed to know. Another day, another friendship saved. She returned to her seat with a satisfied smile, at least until the waiter returned.

“Ah, garçon,” Bait said, looking puzzled at the changeling’s empty hands. “Where are our drinks?”

“I am afraid, monsieur, that there will be no drinks,” the changeling replied, his pencil-thin mustache twitching at the end of his muzzle. “For your disturbance of the other guests, I am afraid we must ask that you and your party leave.”

“What!?” Switch gasped, sitting up straight. “Over a little bit of…”

“We are afraid, monsieur, that we were only willing to tolerate you and your guests to a certain extent,” the changeling’s mustache twitched atop a set of lips pursed in distaste. “That extent has now been reached and passed. We really must ask you to leave.”

Switch was the first to stand. “If this is about them being ponies, I’ll…”

But Bait’s hoof on his shoulder stopped him. “Switch, c’mon. It’s not just what they are, it’s who they are.”

“Wha…oh,” Switch grimaced, resisting the urge to facehoof. Of course. Bad enough that the mares with them were ponies, but Element Bearers? Ones directly responsible for the failure at Canterlot?

Pinkie and Fluttershy watched on, oblivious to the minor drama building as their escorts hurried them away, rushing them past the tables of changelings with upturned snouts and disgusted sneers, hurrying them out the front door.

“That…could’ve gone better,” Bait muttered.

“Yeah,” Switch smiled thinly. “Could’ve gone a lot worse, though.”

“Yep,” Bait smiled back and turned to the reason why it didn’t, the only thing that kept a deep-seated disagreement from devolving into a friendship-destroying argument, only to find his side distinctly lacking in pink, balloon-butted horses.

“Hey, where’s Pink?” He started, and as if in response, a cry sounded behind him, followed quickly by Pinkie galloping past the maître d’s podium with something small, wiry, and curly clenched tightly in her hoof.

“Guys! It’s real!” She shrieked ecstatically, the bit of hair suspended on her hoof. The changelings and the pegasus watched her in confusion until their waiter came galloping behind her, a sore, red mark on his upper lip where his mustache had been.

“Can you believe it!?” She cried, prancing on her hooves while holding her prize over her head. “It’s seriously for realz really real!”

“BANNED! FOR! EVER!” The waiter screamed before retreating into the restaurant.

“Well, we never wanted to come back here anyway, you big, big…poopyhead!” She cried, throwing the mustache ineffectively against the front window and watching it drift into the potted plants.

Bait and Switch, to their credit, managed to keep from bursting out in laughter for a solid ten seconds before turning to one another. Each stallion seeing his partner barely controlling himself, biting their lips and guffawing while rocking side to side, was just enough to push them over the edge. The changelings fell against one another, howling with laughter. Being Infiltrators, they mostly managed to stick to normal laughter recognizable as any stallion’s laughter, but being changelings, a few chittering chirps still managed to slip out here and there. For a solid five minutes, they stood there, clenching each other, rolling with laughter, only managing to look up into a giggling Fluttershy’s and glaring Pinkie’s muzzles once the worst of the giggles had worked their way out of their systems.

“What? He is a poopyhead.” Pinkie said, still glaring down at them.

That set off another two minutes of laughter, only this time when it ended they both managed to press themselves to their hooves. Stumbling like drunken stallions, Bait and Switch each took their respective charges’ sides and led them down the street, giggling like madstallions, thinking they’d seen the last of their giggles, then glancing at each other and starting another round of snickers.

“Dear Maker above,” Switch gasped when the worst had passed. “I didn’t know it was possible to laugh that hard.”

“I tend to have that effect on ponies,” Pinkie said, happily bouncing along beside the group.

Bait looked at her and smiled genuinely, watching the way her mane bounced with each hop, drinking in those gorgeously-deep blue eyes, and feeling content for the first time in a very long time. “Yeah, I noticed,” he said. “You probably kept us from ripping each other apart back there.”

“That’s a thing I do, too!” She beamed.

“Can we repay ya somehow? This whole evening was a disaster, it only seems fair,” Bait said, obviously hoping for a redo for the entire night.

Pinkie paused mid-hop, defying all physics as she floated gently to the ground, a hoof on her chin as her eyebrows hunched in thought. Then, she turned to the group and smiled. “Tell me about your ear. Why it’s all twisted up.”

Both changelings blanched immediately. If it was possible, they probably would have turned pale-white. One of Switch’s forehooves lifted on an obvious path towards his wounded eye, only to immediately stop and settle back on the ground. After a solid minute of silence, Pinkie blinked at them. “What, did I say something wrong?” She asked.

“That’s…personal…” Switch said.

“You said you’d tell me later though, Baity,” she said. She locked eyes with the smaller changeling, lower lip quivering. “It’s later right now.”

Bait massaged his temple as Switch’s jaw dropped. “You told her what!?” Switch gasped.

“I didn’t think she’d remember!” Bait yelled defensively.

“And that’s where you made your mistake!” Pinkie sang happily, resuming her bouncing.

Switch glared, holding his ground. “That is a very private matter, not fit for…”

“Actually, I want to hear it too,” Fluttershy added, finally popping back into the conversation after remaining in the background for so long.

Switch blanched again, turning to her, his jaw working up and down a few times as he looked directly into her eyes and felt a massive, endless white void replace his thoughts. “I-it’s nothing, really! It just…”

“It has t’do with your ear though, doesn’t it? And your fang?” Pinkie asked, levelling an accusing hoof at the scar. “Don’t lie: me an’ Flutters saw you rubbing it!”

“I-it still doesn’t have to anything to do with what we’re doing!” Bait yelled, coming to his friend’s rescue. “So just drop it!”

The way Pinkie’s shoulders slumped and mane drooped would have made anypony immediately want to hug her. Both changelings inexplicably felt an overwhelming urge to throw themselves at her and wrap their hooves around her shoulders and tell her it was okay. Even Fluttershy had to keep herself from moving to reassure her friend, remembering the numerous times Pinkie had used this exact tactic against Twilight whenever she wanted to throw a citywide party and Twilight tried to convince her that the annual budget from Canterlot couldn’t take the strain, always managing to squeeze a few extra bits from the unicorn after a few hours of dejected looks.

The changelings proved resistant, however, suddenly becoming interested in their own hooves and in studying the crystalline structures around them while the Pinkie bombardment continued, until she was finally forced to whip out a secret weapon.

“That’s okay,” she sighed, ears folding down. “We’re just your prisoners and nothing more, it’s not like you have to tell us.”

That ripped through the changelings’ defenses like a tear-soaked meteor through cardboard. They sighed, fidgeted, grumbled, and finally resigned themselves to the realization that this night could end many ways, none of which involved this story not getting told.

Chapter XXVII: Scars, Part I

“The first thing you gotta understand is that we were very different as colts,” Switch said. The tiny group had found shelter at a chariot stop, the mares taking up the middle of the bench with the stallions flanking them. Of course, all involved found a certain satisfaction in being so close to their respective “interests,” though none would admit it.

“Eh, come off it Switch,” Bait chuckled, his hooves crossed over his chest to give Pinkie a little extra space. “You were a jackass: a stereotypical, douchebag jock.”

“Yeah…and you were the little supernaturalist nerd who spent more time locked in the stallion’s showers than not,” Switch retorted.

“Boys!” Pinkie shouted warningly.

“Right, sorry,” the changelings said in unison, hoping to avoid another hit from the puppy-dog eyes.

“Like we were sayin’,” Bait continued. “Switch and I didn’t really see things on the same level. He had his spot in the high school hierarchy, and I had mine.”

“And considering I was the star soccer player and Bait had a level 48 Paladin in his little ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ game…” Switch chuckled. “You can probably guess what those were.”

“Oh, come off it, you’re just jealous because you never reached level 29 with your weak-ass Bard!” Bait snickered.

“Don’t you start this shit with me again, you know they nerfed bards in the sixth edition! And paladins are broken as fuck!”

“BOYS!” Pinkie shouted, standing out of her seat to glare at them both. The changelings sighed, unable to meet her gaze this time, just keeping their blank, pupil-less eyes on the ground.

Then she turned to Bait. “You went Pally?”

His eyes met hers and blinked. “Yeah.”

She grinned. “Level 78 Mage.”

Both stallions’ jaws dropped. “Wha-what?”

“I-I only made it to level 11, for what it’s worth,” Fluttershy whispered. “I never got really deep into the game, but Pinkie keeps trying.”

The changelings bounced their shocked gazes between the mares, jaws hanging slack. “BOTH of you!?”

“Boys?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow testingly.

“Right, right, off topic, doesn’t matter,” Bait rubbed at his temple, if only to distract from the way his hooves quivered when he tried to meet the pink mare’s gaze. “At any rate, those were the circles we ran in, and it might’ve stayed that way for Maker-knows how long.”

“So…what changed?”

A few moments of quiet followed after that. Before either changeling could stop himself, both were rubbing at their respective scars. Bait even bit his lip, his missing fang standing out even more now. Pinkie sighed and sat back down next to him.

“Take your time,” she whispered, her hoof closing around his.

Bait quivered, trying to keep the shaking to his side facing away from her, and failing. Pinkie, of course, mistook his quivering for fear of telling the story and pulled herself closer, which of course only increased the shaking. He looked to his partner for help, only to find the larger changeling enclosed in a full-on Flutter-hug, blushing deeply, struggling every few moments if only to shake out the jitters.

Both changelings caught one another’s eyes over the mares’ heads and sighed. “So fucked,” Bait whispered. He allowed himself a few moments more of feeling Pinkie’s warm body against his own, of memorizing the exact way her hoof felt around his, and then he began his tale.

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Almost from the start, every changeling under Chrysalis knew where Bait and Switch the hatchlings were going to wind up in the high school social hierarchy. Switch’s strange size was not the result of a tremendous, pubescent growth spurt, as one might think. Even at birth he’d been a foal to astound, to make other changelings pause and wonder and marvel at the likelihood that he would have fillies clinging to his hooves by his teens, and for the most part they’d been right. What’s more, that size didn’t seem to impede his agility much, his hooves striking out during self-defense classes with the kind of speed and ferocity the eye could just barely keep up with.

By contrast, Bait had been a shrimp, stunted in the hatchery and, despite the promises of his mother, stubbornly short throughout puberty. The only extracurricular activities that would accept him were also the most likely to get him beat up, whether it be the tabletop gaming club, the Fantasy and Sci-Fi club, or the Young Paranormal Investigators team (of which he was the founder, president, and sole member despite the numerous boxes of YPI t-shirts and buttons he’d made from scratch).

This day found him in one of this club’s “meetings,” which usually consisted of him sitting in an empty cavern in the hopes of a fellow student stopping by and staying longer than it took him to say “This is the Young Paranormal Investig…” before turning around and walking back out the door. These hopes were usually unfounded, but his mother had taught him quitters never won and winners never quit, so he kept at it, even though the closest he’d gotten to finding a fellow paranormal enthusiast was a changeling that had feigned interest just long enough to write “git a real hobby foggot” on the signup sheet. Still, even that had been better than the days where he spent the entire time alone in that room, like this one had been shaping up to be.

He’d just finished up his homework, his mind transferring from quadratic formulae and y-intercepts to what his mom might be making for dinner, when the sound of running hoofsteps came crashing into the empty class-cavern. He blinked as a certain, powerfully-built stallion literally dropped into his life, knocking two fates onto a completely different course forever by stumbling in and throwing himself behind a door frame with the words: “I’m not here.”

“Switch you fucking asshole! Where are you!?” The words were screamed at the top of a voice that would have been right at home in a heavy metal concert. The large changeling squeezed himself against the wall and closed his eyes, looking for all intents and purposes like he wanted more than anything to just meld right in with the rock. He was doing a pretty decent job of it too: the black of his chitin blended quite well, if you didn’t look too carefully. Fortunately, that didn’t appear as if it’d be a problem with the mare pursuing him.

A tall, thin, gorgeous-looking thing Bait recognized from one or two cheerleader competitions, and subsequently one or two nights with the holes in his legs (he was a very lonely stallion), stormed in, enough mascara to drown a whale streaking along her perfect cheekbones, her deep, blue eyes scouring the cavern. For a second, Bait’s heart stopped as those awful eyes paused on him and glared as if he were standing atop a pile of dead puppies with a bloody knife in his hoof, but she relaxed and passed him over almost as quickly as that hateful gaze had risen, apparently relegating him to his usual dustbin in most cheerleaders’ minds.

Swallowing shakily, he asked: “Can I help you?”

She glared back at him, as if seeing him for the first time since coming in, but quickly went back to scanning the room. “Where is he?” She asked simply.

“I-I’m sorry, who?”

“That big guy. Where is he?”

Bait opened his mouth to speak up, initially having every intention of giving the larger stallion away. He was a big guy, surely he could defend himself better than Bait could! Besides, this madmare was the only thing between him and the warm, comfortable familiarity of his house with his bed and his mom’s dinner and his research books on Bighoof sightings. But then, he spotted the tiny, colored pinpricks of the stallion’s eyes, pleading with him from just behind the mare’s head.

Bait sighed and cursed himself for being such a sap. “I dunno, I think I saw someling running past the cavern’s entrance,” he said.

The mare glared at him, then promptly turned around, taking off out the front cavern without so much as a thank you. “I’m coming for you, you cheating sonofabitch!” She called, and then she was gone, just a set of hoofbeats echoing down the hall.

The larger stallion flitted out of his place in the cave’s wall, grinning ear to ear. “Thanks…uh…”

“Bait,” the smaller said, sticking out his hoof.

“Yeah, sure, Switch,” Switch replied, not taking the hoof, visibly distracted by something. Bait watched as the stallion trotted right past his extended leg, looking over the small pile of t-shirts and buttons spread out on the desks. “YPI?” He read aloud.

“Young Paranormal Investigators,” Bait explained with no small amount of pride in his voice.

The larger stallion turned to him, eyes narrowed in thought. “Hold on,” he said. “Aren’t you the guy that got in trouble for setting the toy woods on the North edge of the Hive on fire?”

Bait drooped instantly, his ears folding to his skull. “I was gonna smoke out a skunkape…” he whispered, almost too quietly for Switch to hear.

Switch just grinned. “Yeah, figured that was you. Man, that was one helluva party, huh?”

“Wh-what?” That wasn’t the usual reaction of someling learning what he’d done. It was usually either sudden laughter, or backing away, keeping an eye on him the entire time. This guy was acting like he thought Bait was…cool?

“Hey, speakin’ of parties,” Switch crashed on one of the hard, carved chairs and eyed Bait. “My parents are headin’ off on a love-gathering mission in Neighpon this weekend and leaving me with the house by myself. I’m throwing a party, and I’ve got the whole class invited. I think I forgot your invitation, though…”

Did Bait just hear right? Did this guy just invite him, Bait the Irate, to a party!? Bait the Irate didn’t get invited to parties! That just didn’t happen! “I-I dunno,” he said, his old suspicion flaring up, screaming at him that anywhere he went with this stallion would only end with him duct taped to a tree or suspended upside down over a flushing toilet. “My parents don’t like me staying out too late and I got a lot of homework…”

“Oh, c’mon!” The larger stallion jabbed him on the shoulder. “It’ll be fun! There’ll be booze, and mares! Lots of mares!”

That caught Bait’s attention. “Mares?” Even the remote possibility that he might be able to walk up to a mare without having her laugh at him on his way over was enough to pique his interest. What cinched the deal was Switch’s next sentence:

“Oh yeah, I’ll even put in a good word for ya! Whaddya say, li’l buddy? You, me, and all the pussy we could ever want, eh?”

Despite the alarm bells still blaring in the back of his head, Switch leaned towards the stallion, eyes widening. He already knew he was going to nod yes, how could he not? With that disarming smile and only-too confident look, it was impossible not to. It was easy to see why the stallion standing there was such a hit with the mares: when he turned on the charm, there was only one thing anyone could do.

“O-okay…” Bait whispered.

“Awesome!” Switch cried, jabbing him in the shoulder again. “I’ll drop the invite over by your locker tomorrow! Trust me, you’re gonna have the time of your life!”

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“Aww…” Pinkie cooed.

“That’s so nice,” Fluttershy said with a smile.

Bait grinned, his massive incisors bared. Somehow, the ponies didn’t even flinch back this time. “Yeah, I guess it’s an alright story, looking back.”

“It’s really great that you guys met in such a nice way!” Pinkie said brightly. “It’s the perfect friendship story!”

At that, the changelings cringed, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. Pinkie looked from Bait, to Switch, and then back again. “What?” She asked.

“That part’s nice,” Switch sighed, rubbing a rough patch on his back, just below his wing. “The next part…isn’t.”

Chapter XXVIII: Scars, Part II

Bait was about as comfortable as a jock in a Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Which was ironic, since that was the complete opposite of the situation he found himself in; wearing his button-down, collared shirt over his quivering, tiny frame, surrounded by moshing, drunken stallions and cheerleaders all rubbing themselves against each other in between sips from plastic cups that smelt like Tirek’s asshole. He looked like he belonged here about as well as any of this bunch might belong in one of his YPI meetings.

Thing was, this was his ticket, his one and only shot away from the empty classrooms and swirly-filled bathroom breaks to high school stardom, or at least meeting a mare who didn’t look like she’d only grown halfway out of her chubby grub phase. Still, there was no denying that feeling of being out of his depth, far from familiar waters, especially as he stepped into the crowd of flailing, dancing, mostly-drunk changelings, most of them sucking on one another’s faces.

He almost thought he might be alright, until he came across a stallion with his tongue down the throat of a mare disguised as a miniature Princess Celestia, plastic cups in both their hooves. His mind reeling in horror, he had to press his hooves into his eyes to avoid the image of his race’s greatest enemy prancing around in bikini bottoms, and how undeniably sexy that image was.

“Sweet Chrysalis above, where am I!?” He screamed right there in the middle of the dance floor, his hooves still pressed into his eyes as some stumbling drunkard spilled a bit of Stalliongrad-brewed Vodka on his polyester shirt.

“Bait!” A massive hoof clamped on his shoulder, whirling him around. His head spinning, Bait could barely make out Switch’s form in the dark, pulsing lights, though it was much easier to see the lanky, skinny little mare his other leg was draped over.

“Bait, I wantcha to meet Cherry,” Switch slurred between sips from the bottle in his free hoof.

“Umm…it’s Berry,” the mare pointed out with a gentle smile.

“Right, Ferry, sure,” Switch guffawed and sucked at his bottle again. Of course, where most stallions would have earned a smack across the face by now, Berry just giggled like the empty-headed bimbo her current status as Switch’s flavor of the week had earned her, apparently finding his lack of regard for something as basic as her name utterly charming.

Bait sighed. And his mother wondered why he didn’t like making friends. “Hey Berry, nice t’meetcha,” he said, sticking out his hoof with a smile he hoped was disarming, and not creepy.

Without even sparing him a passing glance, Berry nodded in his direction while keeping her eyes on Switch. “Babe, I need to freshen up, do you mind?”

“Of course not,” Switch said, which of course earned him another kiss and another giggle. As the mare turned towards the bathroom, he gave her flank a good, hard smack, earning a squeal and a round of giggles from the crowd of mares that had materialized behind her. Or, more accurately, behind Switch. Bait had to bite his lip to keep from retching. Did she have any idea about the mare in the cavern? Or did she think she somehow had a hold on him the other mares had simply lacked?

“Yeah man,” Switch turned back to Bait and nearly fell back in a drunken half-stumble. “You see the flank on her? Damn!”

“Aheh…yeah, it was…nice…” Bait shrugged.

“Hey man, whatchoo wearin’? This ain’t a fuggin’ church picnic,” Switch guffawed.

Suddenly feeling very exposed, Switch took a quick glance down at his shirt, his cheeks warming. “I…uh…shit, I dunno,” he finally admitted.

“Well, take that shit off! You’re geekin’ up the place!”

Only slightly alarmed that another stallion had asked him to take his shirt off in the middle of a party, Bait pulled his shirt over his head, but before he had a chance to fold it up and lay it someplace he might find it, Switch seized one of his hooves and started leading him through the party.

“Gwah! Where’re we going!?” He gasped, the shirt drifting off the end of his hoof to some forgotten corner of the dance floor, where it would start its new life as a cleaning rag for one of the partygoers who worked part time as a janitor.

“Jus’ c’mon!” Switch insisted with that particular persistence that came most naturally to drunks. Bait opened his mouth to protest again, but soon closed it. Switch was far beyond reason and coherent thought, no way anything the smaller stallion could squeak out would change what was happening.

Bait made another futile attempt to wrench his hoof free, batted weakly at Switch’s side for awhile, and then gave up and just let the drunken stallion take him wherever. It's not like he was particularly attracted to the dance floor, where the only thing he might do would be to give both mares and stallions alike more ammo to use against "The Irate." So he followed along, dragged out the Nest's back cavern and towards a tiny back tunnel. Around there, Switch finally released his hoof and stumbled along by himself. At this point, Bait could only follow, if only to make sure the larger stallion didn't get lost in some forgotten tunnel and wind up stumbling into a manticore's nest.

After a few minutes, Bait gave up on any illusion that Switch even had a destination in mind. Even if he had, odds were it was long forgotten in a brown, alcohol-induced haze. He just trotted along, making note of any turns they made, and hoped Switch would get tired and pass out before they got too lost. Which was why the gust of cool, night air whishing down the cave almost caused him to leap out of his horseshoes.

"Wh-what?" He stammered, shivering from the shock and the cold. "What was that!?"

Switch just grinned that half-coherent smirk of the totally drunk. "Wassamatter, Baity? Never felt a fresh breeze before?"

Bait had, in fact. Only three times before, however, which was why the alien scent of fresh air pounded his nostrils like a punch to the face. "W-we're going outside!?"

"You know it!" Switch cackled with a huge punch to the shoulder that was just a smidge too hard to avoid being painful. “C’mon, we kept ‘em waiting long enough!”

“K-kept who?”

No answer again. Just that big, dumb, happy drunk’s stare locked straight ahead as if a pile of Donut Joe’s glazed donuts was sitting in the middle of the cave. Bait’s stomach twisted. This had gone from a harmless adventure with some drunk he barely knew and nosedived into unfriendly territory pretty quickly. Worse yet, the moon was out. He’d heard stories about the mare in the moon, and seeing her now, that stony, white eye glaring down at him, did nothing to settle his nerves. Nor did the endless expanse of lifeless wasteland around him, only broken by the darkened forest a few miles away.

To his horror, Switch started walking in that direction, the big dumb grin still on his face. Bait pranced on his tip-hooves at the entrance to the cave for a second, then sighed and followed suit. Out here, at least, the quiet seemed to be amplified, and all at once, he found he might just have the voice out here he lacked in the echoes of the caves.

“Hey, Switch,” he started, laying a gentle hoof on the larger ‘ling’s shoulder. “Whatever you got going on probably isn’t a good idea, right?” I mean, we’re getting pretty far from the Hive now, maybe we…”

But Switch just shrugged the hoof off. “If you wanna pussy out, go right ahead,” he growled, the friendly, everypony’s-friendly-neighborhood-drunk attitude sliding away in an instant. Bait stood back, shocked. For a moment, he considered doing just that. Just walking back to the Hive and heading home, forgetting this night ever happened. He hadn’t really expected much to happen anyway, right?

Except he couldn’t go back, not now. He’d been invited, to a party held by the jocks. If ever there’d been a chance to work his way out of his nerdy status within the Swarm, this was it. He couldn’t just throw it away, because odds were it’d never happen again.

Sighing, he continued alongside Switch, who’s laid back, drunken smile had returned full force. He half-expected the drunk to look to the side and start asking why he was looking so nervous, saying something along the lines of: “Hey there, what’s wrong, li’l buddy? You can tell your ol’ pal, Switchy!” Of course, if that was the case he’d just have to make a beeline for the Hive. Nerd-escape or not, he was not equipped to deal with a damned split-personality!

After a few more minutes of walking, Bait noticed a flicker of something far away: a campfire. No, wait, judging by the hollering and calls coming from that direction, a bonfire. The kind ponies might set on a beach for a party. Was this something to do with the party going on back at the Hive? Some secret part of the party that only the elite of the “cool” foals were welcome to? His pulse quickened at the idea.

As they approached, Bait could make out the silhouettes of racing stallions and mares around the fire, most with bottles in their hooves. A small, inaudible gasp passed his lips. Even from here, he could tell from the shapes of the bottles that this would be the real booze, not just the swill everypony at the main party was drinking in their plastic cups. As they got closer, the happy chittering of talking changelings got louder, and he could even make out the sound of a guitar being strummed somewhere. But nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he got close enough.

Next to the fire, two changelings made love beside a small box of condoms, the stallion rummaging through the box with a free hoof while clinging to the mare under him with the other. A half-empty bottle of Stallionaya vodka laid on its side next to their writhing bodies, the brown glass catching every crack and flicker of the flames. Across the fire from them, a group sat gathered around a changeling strumming at a guitar, looking up to the sky with red-rimmed eyes as if every pluck of the strings was some bit of divine inspiration. Personally, it sounded to Switch like a stoner that could use a few lessons, but he wasn’t about to say anything.

“Tyler!” Switch enthused, spreading his hooves out as he approached the fire.

A changeling in a baseball cap turned to them, letting Bait see every sweat stain and crack in the cap’s fabric, the bill now folded upwards in a permanent bend. He grinned seeing the larger stallion. “Switch, m’stallion!” He laughed, leaving his bottle in the dirt to get up and bro-hoof the big changeling. “’Bout fuckin’ time you showed up!”

“Trust me, woulda been here sooner, but the guest a’ honor took too long getting out to us,” Switch cocked his head in Bait’s direction, and Tyler peered around him to get a look at the smaller changeling. His smile flickered, but shot right back to full strength in an instant.

“Stallion of the hour!” Tyler gasped, reaching out and pounding Bait’s shoulder. “You did my man here a real solid, bro! Seriously!”

“Um…thanks, it was…no problem,” Bait stammered.

“Alright bro, alright!” He shot that winning grin Bait’s way, and in that instant, Bait decided he didn’t like Tyler much. His dad had always taught him to trust a stallion by his smile, and Tyler’s face was less a smile and more a smirk. The superior smirk worn by most stallions right before delivering a wedgie or a swirlie to some unsuspecting ‘ling. The one he’d pretty much been trained to be wary of the moment he saw it aimed his way in the halls.

“So, Bait,” Switch said, pulling Bait’s attention away from the other stallion. “You ready?”

Bait blinked, turning to him with a big, blank look, as if he’d just been snapped out of a trance. “Ready?”

Tyler flashed that chitin-forsaken smirk again. “My stallion didn’t tell you anything, did he?” He asked. “Shit yeah, just the way to go into it.”

Alarm bells blared in the back of Bait’s head as he forced a smile and a nervous chuckle up from somewhere deep inside. “Go into what, you guys? C’mon, just tell me.”

Tyler strode up to him with that little smirk that made Switch wish he was just a little taller so he might be able to wipe it off his smug little muzzle. “Bait…that’s what my stallion here called ya, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Bait, my man, we got this little tradition here,” Tyler’s superior little smirk became a superior little grin. “It’s a little something we do with all the stallions that wanna hang with us: see if they really got what it takes. Guess you could call it a test.”

Danger! Danger, Will Trottinson! “A test? Well, I’m awfully good at those.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Tyler flashed a grin at Switch, but for a second, Bait could see the way his eyes rolled. As if to say, Chrysalis above, this guy? Really? “Still, don’t think this’ll be easy, I’ll let m’stallion here walk you through it, but when it comes time to perform, you perform.”

“Sounds good!” Bait said as he quietly hoped he would recognize the best time to bolt for the Hive when he saw it. Switch showed up and cocked his head, meaning he should follow, and Bait did, holding his head up high with a confidence he didn’t feel. He was about ready to trot off with Switch like a good little stallion, but…then again…there was that little eye roll.

“Hey Tyler,” he said over his shoulder, Switch still leading him away from the firelight. “Save a seat for me, will ya?”

There was a moment of silence from the firelight, then a rushed: “You got it, bro!” from behind the firelight. Bait grinned in the darkness. He was probably going to pay for that little touch of smart-flank later, but damn was it worth it.

His personal victory was lost as the powerful hoof clenched around him again, once more dragging him off into the darkness. This time everything was reversed: he went from a massive and wide-open space into the strangling confines of a leafy prison, the Everfree forest looming all around him. Bait swallowed loudly. This, the one place where no civilization laid claim, the only place in the world that changelings were taught to fear more than Equestria itself, and he was letting himself be led into it by a drunk.

By Chrysalis’s amazingly-toned flank, why had he let it get this far!?

“Hey, Switch, c’mon,” Bait said, trying to keep the fear from his voice and failing miserably. Enough’s enough, alright? What’s say we get back to the main party, that cheerleader’s probably…”

“Naw man,” Switch replied, only something caught Bait off guard. The reply wasn’t the drunken slur he’d been expecting, but barked out like a command from a drill instructor. “Naw, we’re seeing this through, you an’ me.”

Bait bit his lip, suddenly feeling too much like the little colt that had run back to its mother with tears running down its face after a day of being used as a dodgeball by the older foals. “O-okay,” he said, his voice far too tiny for his liking. And they pressed on, tromping relentlessly through the brush. An hour passed, and then two, completely in silence. He’d given up all plans for escape or trying to remember the way home by then, but oddly enough, he spied a set of lights in the distance.

Switch stopped so suddenly that Bait had to stumble to keep from crashing head-first into the guy’s flank. He wore a smile, but it was far from that drunken grin from the fire. “Okay, we’re here.”

Bait took his spot at Switch’s side, ignoring the rising beat of his own heart. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear voices of loud merrymaking, coming from the flickering lights. His hooves trembled. “Switch, where are we?”

The larger changeling turned to him with that cocky, hateful smile plastered all over his face. “Outskirts of some redneck haven called Ponyville.”

“P-P-Ponyville?” Bait’s voice shot up a few dozen octaves. There was no mistaking that name, even if he hadn’t heard it before: only the nation of Equestria would allow the locals to name a village after their own species, no matter how stupid it sounded.

“Eyup!” That everyling’s-best-friend drunk was making a roaring comeback as he grinned over at his partner. “We’re gonna go in undisguised and swipe something off a store shelf!”

Bait’s mind shut down in a sudden flash of panic. “Are you completely--” he started with his voice so high he could barely hear himself. Hearing this, he cleared his throat and corrected. “Are you insane!? Go into a pony town undisguised!? The Queen would have our heads!”

“Oh, stop being such a little pussy!” Well, goodbye everyling’s-best-friend-drunk, see ya in a few. “The Queen won’t because she’s not gonna find out, just like none of the stupid little ponies in town are gonna find out, understand?”

Bait understood. He understood only too well. He understood that he, a freshman changeling with less than a year of infiltration courses under his belt and still several years away from even being eligible for his Infiltrator’s license, was going to be expected to walk into a pony village undetected and undisguised, using his nonexistent skills to stick to the shadows and remain out of sight. He understood that this idea was completely idiotic and that, if he were a decent stallion, he’d turn around and head back into the woods while telling the larger stallion next to him to kiss his flank or something. Unfortunately, he also understood that he was not a decent, brave stallion capable of anything of the sort, and that turning around would mean braving the Everfree alone without the protection and guidance of the one who led him here. His head bowing, he understood that he was the type of stallion who didn’t make waves and went along with what was easiest, and hated himself even as he was doing it.

But then again, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, right? After all, the other changelings around that fire had managed it. Some of those guys didn’t even look like they could hold their own heads up without help!

“Yeah,” he said, hoping it sounded a lot better than he felt. “I understand.”

“Good,” Switch peered ahead. “There’s this little shop right on the outskirts. Pretty isolated: only other places around are all restaurants that close waaayyy before now. It’s kind of our favorite. We just need something to prove we were here, something that could only be gotten off the shelves of a pony store, you dig?”

“Y-yeah, yeah, I dig.”

“Good,” and once again, could it be, in that nice little smile the big guy was flashing his way? Why yes, it’s our old buddy, everyling’s-best-friend! We missed him so! “Don’t worry about it. The guys do this all the time. Odds are, these rainbow-colored idiots won’t even notice what’s gone. I doubt shopkeeps in this neck of the woods even keep that close an eye on their stock.”

It all sounded so reasonable, so perfectly easy. So why did a cold fist clench in Bait’s stomach thinking about it? “Alright, sounds pretty good!” He exclaimed, a smile pasted to his face.

“You know it!” The larger changeling smiled back before darting off into the brush, far faster than you’d think a drunk guy could run. It only now occurred to Bait that if Switch was ever even drunk, odds were he’d have long since sobered up. And still, he could only follow along helplessly.

The shadows rushed over their chitin, the occasional glare off the lamplight bouncing off the changelings’ shells. Bait made sure not to fall behind, fearful that doing so would mean losing Switch and being abandoned to whatever the ponies did with captured changelings. He kept his head down, trying to remain unseen, even as the brush faded away until it eventually became lighted city streets. Here, finally, he slowed down and looked around, jaw agape. Nothing here was carved from the land like a changeling hive: it was all purely artificial buildings, all erected solely for the ponies’ purposes. Even the lights were on suspended artificial poles. It was a whole world where you were surrounded by something that had been crafted, rather than repurposed from what was already there.

“Hey man, put your tongue back in your head, the mares around here aren’t that pretty!” Switch snickered, snapping Bait out of his reverie.

“I-I wasn’t looking at that…”

“What, the stallions then?” Switch offered.

Bait huffed but kept quiet. He knew better than to let something like that get under his skin. After a few minutes, Switch shrugged. “So we’re here now,” he said.

Bait looked up at the plain, nondescript storefront labelled “Sandy’s Wholesale,” in pony-speak. His ears perked at the glass front: he had been so intrigued by glass from the first moment he’d read about it. Clear as crystal, yet so much more fragile…it made it all the more jarring when Switch scooped up a rock and chucked it right through one of the glass panes.

“What the hell, man!? What the actual hell!?” Bait screeched, leaping back.

“Relax, dude, the ponies are all asleep. None of ‘em heard that,” Switch replied, pointing at the storefront. “So g’wan. Get in there, grab whatever, and get out again.”

“Dude…” he looked over the shattered remnants of glass scattered around his hooves. Somepony made this, they spent time on this, and then somepony else spent their own hard-earned cash to put it here. It just didn’t sit right to add theft on top of this senseless destruction. “Dude, I dunno.”

“Man, c’mon! You’ve been a little bitch about this thing from the start!” Switch growled. “We’ve come too far now, and I am not leaving empty-hooved when all that’s left to do is literally walk in there and pick up something! So quit your damn whining and finish this!”

Bait whimpered, hopefully too low for Switch to hear. The old rising panic and threat of tears he always felt when forced to do something he didn’t want to threatened to spill up as a lump gathered in his throat. But he swallowed it all, nodded, and walked through the shattered pane with the trepidation of a soldier going to war.

Just like everything else, a pony storefront was much like its changeling counterpart, but different. Everything was artificial, yet still warm, as opposed to the cold yet natural feel of every changeling edifice. Again, it was all carved wood and shaped furniture, which all felt remarkably homey. For some reason, the image of reclining in a chair much like the one behind the counter while reading a book by a stone fireplace and smoking a pipe appeared in Bait’s head, but he quickly banished it with a little scoff.

“Dude, you sightseeing!?” Came Switch’s voice from outside.

“I’m just lookin’ for something good!” Bait lied as he traipsed along by the aisles, his chitin protecting him from the razor-sharp edges of the glass. He passed the quickest and cheapest stuff, going right for the backroom. His mind buzzed with old stories about cartel ponies keeping drug labs and griffon smuggling operations hidden behind innocent-looking storefronts. As he walked, his fear and trepidation faded and a smile crossed his face. Yeah, imagine that! Coming across a pony crime syndicate! He pressed a hoof to the faded wood, oblivious to his surroundings as the door slowly creaked open to reveal…

…a shelf. Next to a desk crowded with papers and office knick-knacks, including a clock shaped like a cat, a stack of magnets, and several framed photos of cats. His muzzle twitched. “Whoever works here needs to get laid,” he muttered. “And speaking as a virgin in freshman year, that’s saying something.”

Turning away from the desk full of sadness, he focused on the shelf, squinting in the darkness. He picked a jar up, trying to make out its label in the darkness. What would a pony keep back here, away from the shelves? Some niche products? For sale to druggies!? On account of it being drugs!?

Naw, nobody with a framed picture on their desk of a dog at a bank going: “I’m here to make a de-paws-it” would be involved in the illegal narcotics trade. Still, what was this? He turned the jar over, and something inside sloshed around. Was it some illegal slug repellant? Or…

“Finally caughtcha, you bloody thieves!”

Bait’s heart dropped into his stomach with an almost-audible splash. He turned around very slowly, keeping his hooves visible, and found himself face-to-face with the biggest musket he’d ever seen in his life, handled by a trim stallion with a handlebar mustache and a monocle draping from his eye. With a “harrumph,” the stallion’s horn glowed and the massive hammer behind the weapon’s barrel drew back with a click that sounded like it blasted throughout the room.

“I say, old fellow,” the stallion said with a twitch of his magnificent whiskers. “What are you?”

“Ummm…nobody and n-nothing?” Bait managed an unconvincing smile. “Th-this is all a dream? Brought about by too much bangers and mash before bed?”

“Hmm…quite...I do like a good plate of bangers and mash before bed, but I highly doubt that is the case, seeing to it I can still feel this,” the stallion shifted the weapon to one hoof and held up the other, revealing a small cut across one fetlock. “Did this to myself on a piece of glass up front. You know, from that window you nasty buggers shattered? The window my dear friend who owns this shop put up with her own money? The same dear friend who brought me here from an expedition in Zebrica to catch the nasty brigands that have been ransacking her livelihood and continuously breaking her windows?”

He was up front!? Thanks for keeping watch, Switch, Bait grumbled. “Okay, okay, so this isn’t a dream, it’s…a lucid fantasy?”

“No, no I don’t think so,” the stallion harrumphed and motioned with the barrel. “Sit down in that chair, and no funny business. This thing is loaded with enough shot to take down an elephant.”

“I-I don’t doubt that, sir,” Bait whimpered as he did as he was told, still holding onto the jar as he took his seat. The stallion followed him into the room, the barrel of the weapon never wavering.

“Now, I’m afraid I’m going to have to bind and gag you, old chap,” the stallion said, using his cut hoof to pull a roll of duct tape out of a drawer, the other still holding the musket on Bait. “Nothing personal, you understand, I just can’t have you calling out to your friend while I’m looking for him.”

“Oh…I see…” Bait shivered in the chair, the jar clattering in his grip. “Oh-okay…but…before you do, can I ask something?”

“I don’t see why not, as long as it’s quick.”

“Is that a Model-437 Solid-Bore Colt muzzleloader?” He asked, pointing to the weapon.

The stallion blinked. “Why yes! Good Celestia above, stallion! You’re the first to recognize it!”

“I-I’ve done a lot of studying,” Bait chuckled nervously. “I just happened to know that gun hasn’t been in production for nearly twenty years.”

“One of the last off the lines at Colt’s Manehattan plant!” The stallion beamed. “She’s seen me through more sticky situations than I’d care to think about!”

“Oh really?” Bait suddenly grimaced deeply. “Well, I’d like to see it get you out of this!” The stallion didn’t even have time to respond before Switch melded out of the shadows, a chunk of goo hovering from the tip of his horn that promptly smacked the stallion in the face, blanketing his eyes. With a scream, the stallion whirled and let loose with a shot from the musket, which missed Switch by a mile and obliterated a shelf full of cleaning products.

“Cowards!” He screamed, the musket clattering to the ground and a dagger appearing in its stead. “Come up behind me, will you!? Don’t think I’m disabled just because you’ve blinded me!”

Bait remained seated, his ears ringing from the titanic thunderclap of the shot, his eyes wide and visibly shellshocked. It took Switch appearing in his vision from out of the gunsmoke to finally shake him from his reverie. “Dude, we gotta go!” The larger changeling screamed, seizing Bait’s hoof and physically dragging him from the room. Bait’s head whirled on his shoulders, even as he was dragged through the store, stumbling over shattered glass until meeting the cold night air, the stallion throwing curses at the backs of their heads and slashing blindly through the air behind them.

Once again, Bait allowed himself to be carried away by the larger stallion, practically flying through the streets and back into the brush just as a group of ponies dashed towards the storefront, whispering about the massive blast they’d all heard and listening to the curses of the stallion still hacking away at thin air inside. He barely registered it all though, even as the shouts faded and the lights became faint glows in the distance.

Finally, after running for what felt like hours, Switch stopped and laid on his side, panting. “C-can’t believe we just did that,” he gasped in between lungfuls of air.

Bait looked at him with the same focus and attention of a lobotomy patient.

After a few minutes of panting, Switch turned to him, and beamed. “Oh, no way! You fucking kept your hold on that thing!?”

Still looking like a zombie on Quaaludes, Bait turned to his hoof, saw the jar still clenched there, then turned back to Switch and nodded.

“No fucking way!” Switch snatched the jar up, beaming at it. “I can’t believe you did it! Tyler is gonna lose his fucking shit when he hears about what we did!”

All at once, the zonked-out, dead-eyed stare faded from Bait’s features, his lips curling up into a disgusted, fang-filled sneer. “By Chrysalis’s all-powerful flank, you’re still worried about what that dickwad is gonna think!?”

Switch turned to him, eyes wide with surprise. “Uuuuhhh…what?”

“After breaking and entering, making ponies suffer for no good goddamned reason, and nearly getting our heads blown off by a madman with a shotgun, you’re still worried about the entrance exam for your gang of dropouts and losers!?”

“Hey, look who’s talking!” Switch sat up, the surprise replaced with a sneer that mirrored Bait’s as he loomed over the smaller changeling. “A bunch of losers!? Whaddya call a little moron who spends all his time in a classroom, running a club noling is ever gonna join!?”

“At least in there I actually get shit done!” Bait screamed, hardly believing he was speaking to a jock this way - one who outweighed him two times over at least - and still too angry to really care. “When’s the last time you or any of your asshole friends even bothered to open a math textbook!? When’s the last time any of you weren’t totally ashamed on report card day!?”

“Listen to you!” Switch half-yelled, half-chortled. “As if grades are all that matter! Why? Because that’s all you’re good at, you little virginfag.” He planted a massive hoof in Bait’s chest and gave him a good shove, sending him sprawling. The jar flew from his hooves, smashing against the rocky ground and splattering them both in something that smelt like a pony had taken a dump in it, then gotten a drunk friend to throw up in it, and finally mixed the whole vile concoction with some cat piss.

Neither noticed, the stench only inflaming their tempers as Bait rose to his hooves, flicking off little droplets of the stuff. “Fucking dammit,” he cussed. “I can’t believe I let you drag me out here on an errand set by a druggie!”

“And I can’t believe I thought you’d be worth giving a chance to,” Switch growled, pressing his hoof to Bait’s chest again. “Here, I thought you were worth something, not just another uppity little smartass who gets everywhere by avoiding eye contact with mares he’s too much of a pussy to even look at!”

Switch gave another push. This time, however, Bait remained on his hooves. “Oh, thank you, massa!” He screamed. “Thank you for this fine, fine opportunity for poor, li’l me! Thank you so much for aiding me in being a little bit more superior, like you!”

“Well, thank Chrysalis someling said it!” Switch bellowed.

Color rose on Bait’s cheeks, his teeth clenching. “You know what!? Fuck you, you big, stupid, jock asshole! I wish I let that mare rip you apart, it’s what you deserved!”

“Yeah? Well at least if you did, you wouldn’t have wasted my time running around this fuckin’…”

A low growl interrupted the arguing stallions. Both their minds blanked out in sudden fear, their ears folding back as they turned towards a set of bushes off to the side. Something with a savage, yellow gaze and fangs the size of their forelegs glared back. Far too late, the changelings remembered that they were in a savage land far from civilization: a place where their survival depended entirely on stealth and remaining unnoticed, and where they had spent the last few minutes screaming their heads off like a couple of maniacs.

“Wh-wh-what…” Switch swallowed. “What is that?”

Bait looked away, casting an eye on the remnants of the jar and the stink rising from it. A single shard of glass turned over in the moonlight to reveal the remnants of its label: “ICORE” on the first line, “AIT” on the second. “M-manticore bait,” he whimpered as the growling rose in volume. Now, why a pony would have a massive Griffonian-made muzzleloader made all too much sense. You’d need something that big to take on a manticore.

Spending the night tied to a chair next to a stallion that had been prepared to vaporize his brains with a weapon meant to take on beasts the size of small houses suddenly didn’t look so bad.

A thousand pounds of muscle and fur rocketed out of the brush. A rush of tan and purple with fangs dripping saliva barreled down at Bait. He could only stand and watch. This was death. This was how he died. This was strange. Why was he on the ground?

He looked up, watching all that fur and muscle trailing a tail that looked like it could snap two-by-fours in half shoot right over his head. It moved in slow-motion, every hair on its body waving at him, every muscle tensing and undulating under its skin, every drop of saliva tailing it lazing by in slow-motion. And then Switch was visible on the other side of it all, looking towards him, his hoof outstretched. Oh, so he’d shoved Bait out of the way, that was nice, and it looked like he’d even had time to lunge back to avoid…

The rear paw…

Oh Chrysalis above, the rear paw was changing its angle. It was gonna thump Switch right in the skull.

He didn’t even have time to voice a warning. The only thing that made it past Bait’s lips was a frightened “Uhhh…” before the paw slammed across Switch’s back with a low thud, crushing the wing. The bigger changeling spun from the force of the blow, dazed, and once again too late, Bait realized the manticore’s paw had only been the first in a two-pronged assault, as its tail whipped around and bared down faster than he believed anything could move. Again, his heart dropped into his stomach. This time, a warm stream of urine down a hindleg accompanied it.

The angle was awkward, and the change in motion had been hasty on the manticore’s part, but none of that mattered. The tail still made its target. The stinger slashed Switch’s face in a downward motion as his body completed a full circle from the initial blow, giving Bait a perfect sideview as the stinger gored the other changeling’s face, digging deep into his brow and continuing along the surface of the eye with a sickening squelch. The stinger finished its journey as it dug a trench down Switch’s cheek before mercifully curling away, droplets of blood and venom splaying away from it as it pulled in against the beast’s body again.

The manticore landed in the brush on the other side of their small clearing. Bait looked at Switch, jaw agape. “S-Switch?” He squeaked, too quietly to be heard.

Switch turned to him, reached up, felt the deep gouge in his face, and then his lip trembled. He fell on his flank, stupid shock and uncomprehending fear on his face. He mouthed a silent “Bait?” as he fell back, so totally stunned he couldn’t even support himself anymore.

Bait turned towards the shrubs where he’d seen the monster disappear. The growl echoed back at him. He turned and ran, hooves pumping, tears in his eyes. He made it perhaps a few hundred yards before he realized he’d just left another changeling to die at the paws of some awful beast.

Without really thinking about it, he made a wide arc back to the tiny clump of shrubs he’d left behind. A gust of wind tore through the branches as he padded to a stop, letting the moon through to light up everything: Switch on the ground, still dazed, still laying helplessly as the manticore towered over him, placing a paw on his back and beginning to press.

Still without really thinking, still operating on pure adrenaline and emotion, Bait scooped up a rock and chucked it as hard as he could. It still only barely managed to thud off the manticore’s flank, but that was enough. It whipped around in the space of a heartbeat, its yellow eyes staring him down furiously. Bait’s knees gave out for an instant, and then the adrenaline kicked back in and he was running again. The sound of thrashing trees and splintering wood told him the damned thing was right on its tail, throwing boulders out of the way as if they were pebbles, bending massive pines over like toothpicks. He ran faster, not even trying to tell himself that the tears on his face were from allergies, or the sobs rising in his chest were just shortness of breath. He just ran, because stopping would be death.

How long did he run? Ten minutes? An hour? Thirty seconds? It could have been any of these, but all at once he couldn’t run any longer. He found himself stopping just short of a rapids the size of which he’d never seen before (though this was the first time he’d ever seen a rapids, so this in itself wasn’t impressive). What did impress him was the sheer volume of muddy water roaring past, cascading by in a torrent at least twenty feet across. Still, the howl from all that water didn’t cover up the astounding roar from the woods behind him.

In his fear, Bait almost forgot his wings, but once he remembered he grinned and fanned them out. Finally, a way to escape! Of course, if he just flew over, then Switch might well be screwed again. He had no way of knowing if the other changeling had regained his senses enough to make a break for it, and the manticore might remember where it had left its first meal. No, instead he needed to finish this, once and for all.

Figuring he might put his namesake to use a second time that night, Bait lowered his head and fanned his wings, as if ready to charge at the woods. The manticore burst from the brush, all bestial rage and angered howls. Still, Bait didn’t move but for a fearful tremble that worked from his spine to his wingtips. The thing roared and threw itself at him.

Bait knew the timing would need to be perfect. Too early, and the manticore would have more than enough time to stop short of the river. Too late, and well…he didn’t want to think about that right now, okay? But he stood his ground, ready to push all his might into a single thrust at the night sky, springing the trap!

But as it approached, the manticore slowed, its eyes narrowing.

Bait balked in horror. It had stopped. It had seen the trap for what it was, of course it had. There was a massive river behind him, plain for miles around! Of course it had seen this coming! Now, it loomed over him, just a few short meters away, paws the size of hatchlings padding over the muddy grass towards him. His mind locked up again, the stench of whatever the manticore had killed the night before washing over him as it let out a long, gasping breath. It was tired from their chase, but not blind, and if anything, hungrier than ever before.

Bait fell to his stomach, his wings shaking all over again. The manticore was too close now, taking off would just make it lunge. No way he could fly fast enough to get out of the way before those massive paws crushed him into the ground, or those humongous fangs turned him into a bug kebab. He could only stand there and pray that it wouldn’t hurt too much, and that it would be quick.

“BAIT!”

Bait peered up, over the manticore’s shoulder, just in time to see Switch swooping out of the sky, straining to pour on as much speed as he could from a high tree branch, an eyepatch made from a bit of creepvine and a leaf stretched around his injured eye. His forehooves stretched out, ready to plow into the back of the beast’s head. Bait didn’t need to hear his name twice. He leapt into the air, wings buzzing as loud and hard as he could get them, pouring all his strength into moving his body as Switch plowed into the back of the beasts mane with all his strength, sending the manticore literally tumbling head over heels into the rapids as the sheer force of the kick pivoted it over on its face.

For a few glorious moments, Bait actually thought he was in the clear. For those few wonderful heartbeats, he saw nothing ahead but clear, black skies and shimmering stars, waiting for him to join them. Then, a horrified screech reached his ears. His head whipped to see Switch, having dived off the manticore’s head and flown off to the side, craning his neck around at him, his wings pumping, his bad eye still oozing a whitish-red fluid, and his good eye wide-open in horror. Bait turned just in time to see the manticore’s tail, rearing over him like a cobra about to strike, bearing down on his head.

“Nuh-no…” he managed to whimper. He tucked himself in, tried to dodge, but it was no use. The tail was too close. He closed his eyes as the stinger bore down on him. A fraction of a second later, he opened them again.

Agony screamed through his back, all the way down his side. The world spun crazily around, the earth became sky, which switched places with the trees and became ground again. The stars were a spinning array in his vision. A rock reared up to meet him head on. And then, everything was darkness and silence.

When he came to again, Bait was delightfully surprised to find himself in a hospital room hooked to a heart monitor, as opposed to a cloudbank where some pure-white mare in a flowing robe was fitting him for a halo.

Moaning, he turned over in his gurney, and was immediately greeted by an only-too-familiar shell, pressing itself against his face. He sighed. “Hey, ma.”

“What were you thinking!?” The older mare gasped, wrapping her forehooves around his head. “All that way out there, in pony territory! Don’t you realize what could have happened!? Oh, Baity!”

He sighed again. “I know ma, I’m sorry.”

“Mrs. Bait?” Another familiar voice, one he hadn’t thought he’d be hearing so soon, cut in. “I don’t think…”

“You hush up, young stallion!” She interrupted, and somehow Bait just knew she had craned her head around to glare at the offending changeling that dared interrupt her while embracing her son. “If it wasn’t for you, my Baity would have been doing his homework last night instead of out raising hell in pony territory! Why, if it was up to me, I…”

“For what it’s worth, I did finish my homework, ma,” Bait said, pulling his face out of his mother’s bosom to look at her for the first time. Her bewildered gaze locked with his. “Look, Switch didn’t do anything to force me along. I…just wanted to fit in. And I’d finished my homework beforehoof, so there.”

The older mare bit her lip. “Oh Baity,” she sighed, moving to hug him tighter again. He resisted, pressing against her chest. She sighed again. “Baity, I figured that was the case, but I…I almost lost you…”

“Butcha didn’t ma,” he replied, finally relenting and letting her hug him as tight as she wanted. He nuzzled into her chest, just the way he knew she liked. “I’m okay.”

“Speak for yourself,” she huffed. “Baity, do you have any idea how bad your injuries are!?”

“And again, none of that is his fault.”

“I…I know…” he knew she was biting her lip. He just knew. “I’m just…I know we owe him a lot, he dragged you for miles to get here after all.”

“Really!?” Bait looked around his mother at the other bed, a curtain drawn between him and it. He gave another sigh, this one longer and slower, his shoulders rising and falling with it. “Ma? Can I have a moment?”

“Uh-uh!” Bait’s mother placed her hooves on her hips, glowering down at her son. “You think after everything you pulled, I’m letting you out of my sight at all!? I’m going to be on you like glue for the next month, buster!”

“Ma, please!” Bait turned to her, eyes wavering. “Please, me and him need to talk.”

His mother bit her lip. Bait’s eyes widened a smidge, despite the guilt at manipulating his mother’s emotions like this. Finally, she looked away and relented, hugging herself with her forelegs. “Okay, but make it fast. I…really don’t want to be out of your sight for too long.”

“I know, ma. I will.”

She nodded, walking towards the door. Before she stepped out into the hallway, she cast a final, forlorn look over her shoulder, as if right after she left he was going to be shipped off to a battlefield in some far-off land or sent to infiltrate a hostile country. Then she was gone, and the two occupants in the beds were left alone.

“I…guess I should thank you,” Bait said after a prolonged silence. “I’d probably still be on that riverbed if it wasn’t for you.”

“Please, you’re the one who did all the heavy lifting with handling the manticore,” the silhouette on the other side of the thin curtain replied. “I just tagged in at the right moment, is all.”

“Yeah, okay,” Bait rubbed his trembling forehooves together, biting his lip. “H-how’s your eye, anyway?”

The silhouette scoffed. “I dunno, Bait,” it said, pulling the curtain aside. “You tell me.”

Bait gasped. A long, greenish line crossed down Switch’s face, right over one milky-white eye. He kept a tiny smile on his face, even as he ran a hoof over the angry-looking scar. Bandages were wrapped around his midsection to guard his wing. “Doctors say I’ll never see out of it again,” he sighed. “Between the manticore venom and the physical damage, the Queen herself can’t help me.”

“Oh sweet Chrysalis,” Bait swore. “Switch, I’m so sorry…”

“Heh…by the way your mom was acting, you’d think you were the one who got off worse.” The little smile faded as he pointed to Bait’s back. Sitting up ramrod straight, Bait reached a hoof over and ran it down his back. A long series of bandages and reformation goo met his touch, along with a tiny stab of pain that flared up at his shoulder blade, where the wing met chitin.

“Doctors say it’s gonna heal alright,” Switch said quietly. “The stinger just grazed you there, but when you came down again, it kinda jacked up your ear. That isn’t gonna heal okay. I’m…sorry.”

Bait’s ears perked at the little quiver in Switch’s voice, then quickly folded down. “It’s not your fault we were out there; I could’ve stopped you at any time.”

“No you couldn’t,” Switch shook his head, suddenly finding something interesting on the floor. “I was the one dangling a way into my inner circle in front of your face. Don’t lie and tell me you didn’t want it: I saw the look in your eyes when I invited you to that party, it’s how I knew I had you, it’s why I went ahead with that retarded test, ‘cause I knew you wouldn’t back out.”

Bait fell back in his bed with a huff. “It was still fucking stupid of me. I knew how dangerous those woods were, and I still let you lead me into them, and why? Because I wanted to join your circle of buddies? No offense, but I don’t think any circle of friends is worth risking your flank just to be one of them. I could’ve flown off at any time, so don’t go hogging all the blame to yourself.”

“Yeah…alright…” Switch acknowledged in a way that Bait knew meant he didn’t really believe the words even as they left his mouth, but instead of fighting on he filed it away as something to deal with when they were both a bit more healed up.

“Hey, that was one helluva hit you gave that thing though,” Bait added, grinning. “It pivoted all the way around on its head! I mean, shit!”

Switch chortled. “That was nothing, I’ve just always known how to use my size. You, though: those were some amazing reactions.”

“You learn a lot dodging punches from jocks,” Bait shrugged, then cringed.

“Yeah, I bet,” Switch shifted uncomfortably in his bed. “Also, earlier, that was some real quick thinking, distracting that crazy, near-sighted pony like that.”

“Hey, that was nothing too!” Bait’s grin widened. “I’ve always had weird bits of useless crap rattling around in my head, just glad it saved my flank this time around!”

“Shyeah,” Switch chortled again as he finally looked up, then rolled his eyes, or at least did the equivalent of an eye-roll for changelings. “Forgot about that.”

“Forgot about what?”

“You chipped a tooth,” he replied, motioning to his mouth. “You came down pretty hard on the riverbank after the beastie nailed ya. Took a nice chunk out of your fang.”

Sighing again, Bait reached up and ran his hoof around in his mouth. Sure enough, where he had expected a nice, sharp point to give him a tiny prick, he instead felt something more jagged and dull. His shoulders rose and fell. “Welp, just another scar to add to the collection, I guess.”

“They can fit you with a prosthetic, you know.”

“Nah, forget that. Besides, I think it looks kinda like a battle scar, you know?”

“Heh, naw, this is a battle scar!” Switch ran his hoof over the line again, and then cringed. “Too rough that time…”

“Idiot,” Bait shook his head.

“Still looks better than your little tooth, pussy,” Switch grinned, and somehow, Bait decided he liked Switch an awful lot. Helluva lot, in fact. “Aww man, good thing I’ve got you to talk with, it’s been so damn boring since my dad left for his shift.”

“Really? Didn’t…didn’t anyone else stop by to see you?” Bait asked.

At that, Switch snorted. “Whadda you think? I doubt Tyler even crawled out of bed when he heard I was in the hospital, might still be sleeping off that night for all I know. Either way, I think I’m done with those guys. My dad said he’d bend me over his knee and paddle my flank like I was a colt again if he ever saw me hanging out with them. Honestly…after all this shit, I think I kinda agree.”

Bait nodded. “That Tyler guy was a douche anyway.”

“I don’t think he was gonna let you in even if you’d come back with something from that pony’s store all by yourself.”

“I figured.”

“Yeah…” Switch trailed off, settling into his bed again, staring up at the glistening rock that made up the ceiling. “Thing is, between that and getting booted from the soccer team, looks like my social life just got a lot smaller.”

“Damn, they booted you!?” Bait swore, sitting up in his bed.

“After all the shit we did, I was lucky I didn’t get expelled from Infiltrator’s school,” Switch replied, running a hoof over his new scar with a forlorn sigh. “It’s kinda for the best, I wasn’t gonna be much good on the team now that my depth perception’s shot.”

Bait opened his mouth to say something generic and comforting, when something else entirely dawned on him. He pushed himself up onto his elbows, facing Switch with a grin. “Hey,” he asked, mindful of the IV tube running to his leg. “You ever hear of a club called ‘The Young Paranormal Investigators’?”

For an awful moment during the considering silence that followed, Bait was afraid the larger stallion would laugh in his face. He was certainly taking long enough to respond. For those awful few moments, Bait was ready to dismiss everything he thought he’d seen in Switch as just the product of an overstressed, but still hopeful, imagination. He really believed for those few awful seconds that perhaps some things were just not meant to be, and that things would go right back to the way they were, stitching together t-shirts he knew nopony would ever wear while a radio fizzed in the background, tuned to a news station for any trace or sign of extraterrestrials.

And then Switch returned the grin. “No I haven’t,” he replied. “But you know what? I think I might be interested.”

Chapter XXIX: A Little More Bait And Switch

“So there y’have it, that’s the story,” Switch sighed. “Two changelings scarred forever, all because one of them was too mean to treat a decent changeling the way he deserved to be treated, and then too proud to cut his losses and run when he should have.”

“What’d I tell ya about hogging all the blame for that night?” Bait grumbled, kicking at a can with one hind hoof. “I might’ve gotten off easy, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t at fault.”

Switch looked like he was about say something, but he coughed as his muzzle suddenly turned fluorescent green. Bait cocked an eyebrow and peered over his shoulder, then grinned, seeing Fluttershy’s hoof wrapped around the larger stallion’s. “It’s okay,” she cooed. “You were kids back then.”

“I-I know,” Switch swallowed nervously, the blush traveling up his cheeks. “It was still a stupid, stupid thing to do, I-I just wish I could take it back, just wish I wasn’t the sort of stallion who would do something so idiotic…”

“Well, of course you aren’t!” Pinkie enthused, pulling herself up to his face. “You’re not that same stallion you were back then, right!?”

“I-uh…” still unaccustomed to the randomness that was Pinkie Pie, Switch coughed. “I don’t think so.”

“I know so! And y’know why?” She said, leaning in close as if sharing a secret with him, and speaking in her trademarked whispering tone of totes adorbs. “We’re all different from what we were at that age, I think. If we weren’t, that’d mean we didn’t change at all from our formative years, and wouldn’t that be kind of sad? That we didn’t evolve at all from our very first try at turning ourselves into adults?”

Silence fell over the park bench. Overhead, a street light flickered and buzzed while a nightly chill swept through the streets. “Chrysalis above, Pinkie,” Bait finally said. “You ever consider writing a book?”

“Yeah,” she pouted, jutting her lower lip out just enough for Bait to wonder what it might taste like. “But no publisher I went to wanted a book covered in sprinkles and smelling like salted caramel fudge.”

“Oh…what happened to it? Did it fall into a batch of cookies at your bakery?”

“Whaddya mean? That’s how it was supposed to be!” She giggled with that little snort that made his heart race for a second. “Apparently, nopony wants to add scented-glitter sprinklers to the printing process, which just figures! I guess ‘Pinkie’s Recipes For Disaster’ was just ahead of its time…”

She trailed off, letting the others digest everything thrown at them, letting the buzzing of the streetlight act as the only ambiance they had as the gears turned in her eyes. Bait watched, transfixed, as another little idea surfaced in those eyes, the changeling under the impression that he was ready for anything she might throw at him. “You know what? It kinda sucks that you guys had that manticore bait. They’re usually pretty cool, just ask Flutters!”

Despite all his mental preparations, he hadn’t been ready for that. “I’m sorry, but what!?”

“Yes, manticores are usually the definition of gentle giants,” Fluttershy put in with her normal, whispering tone. “When we were fighting Nightmare Moon, we met one that had a thorn in his paw, but once we got it out he was such a huge sweetheart! He sometimes drops by my cottage for a quick snack and tea.”

Once again, silence reigned as the changelings tried their best to resolve everything that had come out of Fluttershy’s mouth with the demure pegasus before them. Switch blinked, looked over his shoulder, blinked again, then turned back to Bait, visibly trying to imagine the shy, quivering ball of feathers at his back serving tea to the half-ton of muscle, fur and claws he’d faced that terrible night. By the distressed look on his face, it wasn’t working too well, and he kept turning back to her to make another attempt. On his fourth pass, he finally noticed the tears wavering in her eyes.

“Fluttershy?” He asked, turning in his seat to face her and gently taking her face in his hooves.

“I-I’m sorry,” she sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her wingtips. “I just realized that if he came around now, I wouldn’t be there to…to…”

Without another word, Switch’s massive wings folded around her, the bent membrane on his scarred side still enclosing her perfectly. More silence followed, the streetlamp’s buzzing almost sounding like the entire Swarm had taken to the skies again, until a purr sounded from next to them. Switch turned to find Bait and Pinkie grinning at each other.

“Tale as old as time~” she hummed.

“Song as old as rhyme…” he put in.

His entire face and body flushing that deep, fluorescent green, Switch whirled on them with Fluttershy still clenched in his hooves. She let out a squeak as he easily carried her around with him. “Y-you guys c-can shut up!” He shouted, to their uproarious laughter. Snorting, an evil grin appeared on his blushing face. “Or better yet, you can join in.”

At that, both Bait and Pinkie stopped laughing. “Wh-what do you mean by that, partner?” Bait stammered.

“C’mon Bait,” that evil grin remained on his blushing features. “You have ‘quite the mare’ to enjoy over there yourself, dontcha?”

“Baity?” Pinkie asked. “What’s he talking about?”

“N-nothing!” Bait grumbled, the beginnings of a blush starting to light up his face. “H-he’s just being an asshole as usual.”

“Yeah sure, that’s it,” Switch snickered as he carefully set Fluttershy down, her tears forgotten in exchange for a bewildered expression, her eyebrows hunched and her mouth working as if she were trying to piece something together in her mind. “And at the same time, you’re being a pussy as usual.”

“Oh, shove it up your fat ass, you backwoods sister-lovin’ redneck,” Bait retorted.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, you limp-dicked fag-fucker?” Switch chortled. Bait couldn’t help but chortle back. The stallions grinned widely at one another, and over their shoulders, Pinkie and Fluttershy exchanged contented, knowing glances. They may not have understood everything the stallions had just exchanged, but it was obvious they had become friends again. It was enough to know that another friendship problem had been resolved, whether the mares had meant to solve it or not.

The spell that fell over the small bench was only broken when, just down the street, a sudden yip sounded. Not a yip one would associate with stepping on a shih tzu’s tail, mind you, but more like the scream of a mare that had been abruptly cut off. All four sets of ears perked up at it, Fluttershy’s most of all, because it was a sound she herself had uttered only too often.

“What was that!?” Pinkie gasped, scanning the crystalline streets, suddenly all-too-aware of how exposed they were in the darkened city.

“Trouble,” Switch muttered as he stood up from the bench.

“Almost certainly,” Bait added, standing next to his friend. “Whaddya think? A mugging?”

“I hope it’s that easy…” Switch replied, casting a quick look over his shoulder at the mares on the bench. He suddenly wished they were safe and sound in their respective prisons, this would be so much simpler if they didn’t have to worry about the mares.

Bait followed his gaze and nodded. “We make sure they’re safe first.”

“Roger that,” Switch said, offering his hoof to Fluttershy.

“Aww, hay no!” Pinkie blurted as Bait offered his hoof to her. “What, you expect us to cheer from the sidelines like good, helpless little damsels while you sail off to fight crime!?”

“I-it’s not like that,” Bait stammered, and suddenly his hoof clenched tightly around one of her fetlocks. She looked at him with an eyebrow cocked, not knowing that the image of her lying on the ground with a switchblade in her stomach and blood gushing across the pavement was playing behind his widening eyes. Cursing his overactive imagination, he shook his head, “Switch and I have experience with each other, y’know? We know how we work together in combat.”

Pinkie’s eyebrow arched higher. “So?”

“So adding a couple other ponies to the mix might make things complicated, throw off our groove,” Switch finished, nodding to Bait as they ushered the ponies along to the nearest storefront. Rattling the locked front door, he sighed and swiftly bashed it in with a hoof, clearing away the glass with a few flickers of his magic. Standing back, he motioned to the gaping portal he’d just opened. “Just stay in here, we’ll pick you up soon.”

“Wh-what if that just tripped an alarm?” Fluttershy pointed out, looking into the darkness with a worried gaze.

“Don’t worry about it, the Occupation Corps would probably just think it’s one of us doing a little bit of ‘midnight shopping’,” Switch winked. “Happens a lot, especially in the first few days of an occupation. Besides, if a guard does notice, you can just direct them towards us. We could probably use the backup.”

“And Pinkie…” Bait slid a hoof around her shoulders, not even noticing the blush that graced her cheeks as he tapped the small stone still secured to her back. “Don’t forget about this. If you try to follow us, I will use it.”

“You’d freeze me just for that!?” She pouted, hiding her rosy cheeks behind a well-placed hoof. “Party-pooper!”

“And Flutters,” Switch motioned to her, and the demure pegasus stood up. He cocked his head at Pinkie. “Make sure she behaves herself, okay?”

She smiled warmly and nodded. “O-okay…we’ll just be here.”

“Buncha party poopers…dontcha dare die out there,” Pinkie grumbled.

“Wouldn’t give you the satisfaction,” Bait grinned.

“Good luck,” Fluttershy whispered.

“Luck is for less experienced soldiers,” Switch winked, and then they were off, switching from the changelings that had been chuckling and laughing with the ponies to the most efficient pair of soldiers to come out of the changeling hive in generations in a heartbeat.

“Really dude, ‘luck is for less experienced soldiers’?” Bait scoffed as they danced from shadow to shadow, rushing on all fours with all the sound of a ninja on carpet. “Could you have come off as any more of an egotistical douchebag?”

“Well,” Switch replied with a little grin. “I guess I could have spent fifteen minutes talking about my old paranormal investigation club and come off as a massive virgin nerd instead.

“Touche, you giant douche.”

They rounded a corner and fell into silence, zipping along the glittering sidewalk with their bellies pressed down, maintaining low profiles in the night. Bait kept his ears and eyes up, both scanning around for any sign of trouble. They found it just as they darted past the mouth of an alleyway, Bait suddenly throwing himself against the far wall after vaulting an upturned garbage can, Switch following suit.

On his side of the alley, Bait cocked his head towards the darkness. Switch nodded, creeping forward to take a peek. What he saw nearly knocked him off his hooves. By the dim light of the moon, he could just spy a half-dozen of his fellow changelings, securing a couple crystal mares to the ground with changeling gunk, both ponies clinging to one another with tears in their eyes and a few particularly-sticky globs gluing their muzzles shut. Switch cast a look over at Bait, who returned with a couple confused, cocked eyebrows. He shrugged. Bait shrugged back. He sighed. The hell is this… he wondered as he let in a few deep breaths, then pasted the dumbest-looking, most clueless smile on his face as he could muster and waltzed right on in. Bait watched for only a couple heartbeats, then darted in beside him, mimicking the smile.

“Evenin’!” Switch enthused, visibly straining to maintain the grin. The cool, calculated way the changelings in the alley had been moving came to a screeching halt, all six sets of eyes locking on the pair. The grins remained as they were.

“Gettin’ yourselves a little snack?” Bait asked, still grinning. “Hey man, we can dig it, s’long as you’re all good with sharing.”

The stares remained locked, until one changeling stepped away from the rest of the group with a grin suspiciously similar to the ones Bait and Switch now wore. “Of course, but of course!” He exclaimed. “Yeah, sorry, the usual rations just weren’t doing it. We know it’s a high crime, but hey, what Chrysalis doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? Names’ Chirrup, by the way.”

“Yeah man, we can dig it. Switch.” Switch said with a nod, trying to ignore the cool, precise motions of the remaining changelings working on the ponies, hurriedly binding their hooves and securing long strands of gooey rope to their waists, preparing them for dragging. Bait watched while one changeling worked on wrapping the hooves, while another formed the rope, tossing it to a third who caught it without looking. It was too well-practiced and well-coordinated. They had done this before. But why? Why go to all this trouble to snatch a couple ponies for a quick snack?

It hit him so hard his whole body locked up as if he’d been struck by lightning. Misty Rains…the pony who’s kidnapping he had connected with the changeling murders…yes, this was far too coordinated for a quick snatch and snack. However, it perfectly fit the profile of a foalnapping carried out by a professional smuggling operation.

Somewhere behind them, a light, almost inaudible tapping sounded, and Bait realized there were now only five changelings in front of him. He didn’t dare turn around. To turn around would almost certainly mean death. He just kept that big clueless grin on the changeling in front of him and chanced a look at Switch out the corner of his eye. The slightest scrape sounded behind them, inaudible to all but the most well-trained ears. Switch’s ear twitched. A little bit of honesty slipped into Bait’s smile.

“So hey, thought we’d check on ya, see if you needed help,” Bait said quickly. “Can’t be too careful, especially after those two got themselves killed just the other night.”

“That a fact?” Chirrup said, scratching his chin in an expression of thoughtfulness so fake it impressed Bait that he didn’t crack down laughing while making it.

“Yeah man,” Bait replied, another little scrape sounding behind him, drawing ever nearer. “Damnedest thing too. Couple of well-trained soldiers wondering around then suddenly, bam! Knife to the chest.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, thing is, they were stabbed from the front…whoever did it had to practically be on top of ‘em. Weird, huh?”

“Doesn’t sound that weird to me,” Chirrup replied, studying his hoof nonchalantly. “Couple of drunken soldiers got ambushed. Happens every occupation.”

“I dunno,” Bait continued, unaware that the big stupid smile had faded and he was practically glaring now. “Makes me think. I mean, they wouldn’t let a couple ponies get that close no matter how drunk they were, right? Kinda wonder if it was even ponies that did it.”

The smile on Chirrup’s face wavered. “Well damn, if it wasn’t ponies, what was it? Sombra back from the dead? Or hell, we got mooncheeks, maybe her darker half is popping up?”

Bait, at least, remembered to laugh at that. A big braying laugh that fell somewhere between too forced to be natural and simply idiotic. “Mooncheeks!” He cackled, letting the laugh die off naturally. “But naw, see, I was thinkin’ it might be one of us.”

Finally, that big, friendly grin vanished from Chirrup’s features. “Well now, that’s one helluva accusation,” he drawled, maintaining complete eye contact with Bait. As he spoke, the four changelings at his side started stepping away, moving in a little semi-circle with the pair in the middle. “Got any proof to back it up?”

Bait scanned the soldiers surrounding them and felt the corner of his mouth lift in a snarl. He got that feeling one got while walking down an alleyway at night and hearing somepony behind them: that feeling that some stranger wanted something from you, and it probably wasn't a few minutes of your time to talk about the good news of Celestia’s saving grace.

“Naw man, naw,” he said. The muscles in his shoulders tensed. His knees ached with readiness. To his side, a small bolt of magic flared at the tip of Switch’s horn, too small to be all that noticeable. Bait followed suit and fought back the urge to grin. “Thing is, after tonight, I don’t think I’m actually gonna need much in the way of proof.”

“Oh?” Chirrup took a few, testing steps forward. Bait could see his muscles ripple under his chitin. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, after I haul your sorry flanks in, I’m guessing it’ll only take a month or two to get a full confession.”

That was it. It was as if something had clicked in the air around them. Only instead of barreling forward as expected, Chirrup’s head reared up and a smug smile appeared on his lips. “You take us in?”

“Yeah-huh.”

“You. And your friend there. By yourselves.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Just you and him, versus us, when we have you outnumbered five-to-two.”

Bait’s grin reappeared, wider than before. “Yeah-huh. Nice one, by the by, thinking we’d forget about your little friend behind us.”

The smug little smile faded from Chirrup’s face once more. Bait’s did not. The almost-silent scraping of hooves on gravel behind the pair became a gallop. Bait and Switch did not move. The changeling at their backs leapt at Bait while five horns unleashed five firebolts at Switch’s face. Bait and Switch did not move. The changeling behind them grinned as he sailed towards Bait’s back, the same dagger that had killed Meelah the changeling not two nights ago raised in one hoof. He brought it down with all his might in a downward arc as he flew, aiming for the soft back of Bait’s neck.

The dagger point flew through thin air. The changeling’s thoughts screeched to a halt. Bait’s shoulder flickered and reappeared about half a foot to the right of where it should have been. At long last, the changeling finally noticed the faint glow at the tip of Bait’s horn.

“A-a glimmer spell…” he started to croak in the split second before Bait’s hoof rocketed up into his adam’s apple. The changeling hit the crystal pavement with a few chunks of spittle and vomit trailing down his cheeks. At the same time, five firebolts sailed through thin air as Switch appeared at the nearest stallion’s side. Before the changeling could even react, Switch scooped him up by the throat and smashed the back of his head against the wall.

Two down. Four to go.

“Fuckers!” Chirrup screeched as he charged Bait, the remaining three all locking on Switch. If Bait’s adrenaline hadn’t sent his heart pumping into his ears, he might have felt a touch insulted. Chirrup came barreling at him, shoulder raised for a hit aimed at his chest. Bait copied the motion, head bowed as he counter-charged. At the last second, he ducked and feinted to the left, hoof extended to catch his opponent across the throat with a textbook clothesline--

And he only narrowly dodged the dagger blade which appeared almost from nowhere and managed a quick gash against his fetlock. “Shit!” He hissed, spinning away from Chirrup, a few droplets of green blood spraying against the wall. He paused only long enough to glance at the cut. It was only a surface thing, hardly even broke skin, but it was there and it stung. He could only pray that the blade wasn’t poisoned.

Chirrup’s smug little smile returned as the blade danced from one forehoof to the next. “Thanks a lot, Mectus.”

“Anytime, boss,” one of the changelings fighting Switch said as he ducked under a roundhouse that might well have knocked his head off his shoulders.

Bait paused only for a second before renewing his charge, grappling with Chirrup’s knife hoof while trying to land as many kicks with his rear hooves as possible. The back of his mind screamed in near-panic: these guys were good. Too good. In all their other fights, he and Switch had always had either the advantage of surprise or of skill. They’d given up surprise when they strode in here like a couple of muscleheaded morons from a pony action movie, and skill…shit, the way Chirrup countered his every move, like how he’d just dropped the knife into his waiting free hoof when Bait had been so close to wrenching it free and immediately gone back on the attack, these guys had skill in spades. More than a match for the pair.

One of the attacking ‘lings flew over Bait’s head and smacked headfirst into the brick wall, sliding down along the brickwork with his wings buzzing stupidly. Bait couldn’t help but grin, even as he was forced further back by an unending flurry of slashes. Maybe not quite as much of a match as he’d thought.

He brought his hooves up to block another punch, faked left, readied for another attempt at Chirrup’s head. Chirrup ducked easily, dodged left, and raised the dagger for…for…ohshithe’sgoingforthehostages…oh shit she was just sitting there, eyes wide, dagger going right for them need to think no time to think stop him stop him shit fuck shit…

He’d thrown himself in front of the dagger before he even knew what he was doing. The blade plunged into his shoulder about halfway to the hilt, slicing downwards, aiming for the heart but stopping just short. Bait dropped to his knees, wheezing, then rolled over on his side, gasping for air around the stabbing pain in his chest.

“Bait!” Switch screamed. Bait looked up at his partner, who was staring back at him with jaw agape and a hoof pressed to another stallion’s throat. He saw the remaining assailant coming up behind him with a rock in his hooves, and didn’t even have time to shout a warning before white-hot pain stabbed into his eye, his head bucking back with the force.

He screamed in agony, holding his eye, not daring to curl up for fear of jiggling the knife those last few millimeters it needed. He’d kicked him. That bastard Chirrup had kicked him in the face while he was down, and he wasn’t done. That kick was followed by another to the stomach, and a side-kick that rocked up against the shelf of Bait’s chin. He reeled, rolling onto his back in agony. Somewhere in the background, he was vaguely aware of the sound of hard rock smashing against something else hard with a weird, sickening, meaty sound to it. And then a hoof pressed to his neck, followed by a wrenching against the handle of the knife that sent more lines of pain shooting through his shoulder.

“I gotta say, you guys made this fun,” Chirrup hissed through his teeth as he pulled the knife free with a sickening squelch. “Bait and Switch, right? I heard of you. Glad to see the stories weren’t all exaggeration.”

Bait tried to say something smart, something to act as a verbal nutpunch, but it was cut off by another savage blow to his face. His eye was swollen shut now, and he could see ichor gathering on the cobblestone beneath him. This was it. He was done. To think I got this close to finally proving I’m not just The Irate… he lamented.

Bait’s one good eye watched the dagger blade arc high above him in preparation for the killing blow. The moonlight glinted off the blade’s edge, catching in Bait’s eye, and in that momentary flash, there was a colossal boom. When his sight returned, Chirrup was gone, and all that remained was…confetti?

“Come an’ get some, bugs!” Shouted a familiar, high-pitched, Pinkie-ish voice.

“Whatta mare…” he mused, the stabbing pain in his shoulder momentarily forgotten as changelings went sailing overhead, streaming confetti and bits of frosting.

“Fluttershy, I said I was fine!” Switch hissed as the pegasus continued fawning over the deep gash across his forehead, much to the annoyance of the changeling nurses clustered around his seat on the sidewalk. “A little bit of a headache, a minor concussion, and that’s it!”

“B-but you’re bleeding!” She insisted, once more dabbing at the stitched wound.

“It’s not the first time! C’mon!” He continued, still trying to nudge her away, though not trying all that hard, obviously. “They’re not even putting me in the hospital, for pete’s sake!”

Bait smirked to himself. Truth was, he and Switch had needed to fight fang and hoof to avoid a hospital stay. It had been an hour since he’d first woken up to his fellow soldiers hauling the traitorous changelings off in chains while nurses tended to his wounds, and his heart still buzzed with adrenaline. He only kept the shaking at bay with sheer force of will, and not just to assure the pink pony that had clung to his side since the nurses started patching him up that everything was fine. He knew if he showed any weakness, it could mean a hospital stay. And a hospital stay might mean a transfer of assignment from guard duty to something cozier.

Cozier, but a lot lonelier.

Again, a hoof touched the deep wound patched up on his shoulder, and he cringed. “Still hurts, Pinkie,” he said, waving off the guard standing nearby that took a step towards them.

“I know, and that’s a good sign,” she replied, her eyebrows hunched in worry. “What about your eye? Did the doctors say anything about your eye?”

“They gave me a patch and told me to let it rest a week,” he shrugged. “Just fine, see? I’ll be okay. I’m just glad you and Flutters showed up when you did, we’d probably be dead by now if it weren’t for you.”

“Don’t say that!” She screeched suddenly, her voice climbing so high it set a couple of wild timberwolves stalking the boundaries of the Empire howling in pain. Covering her mouth with a hoof, Pinkie took a few steps back, looking at her hooves.

“Don’t ever say that,” she whimpered. “It scares me.”

Blinking in surprise, Bait nodded, his jaw agape. “O-okay…” he croaked. “Okay, I won’t mention it.”

“Good,” she whimpered, her massive, bright-blue eyes brimming with tears. To Bait’s horror, he found this a sight so awful and so dreadful that some part of him was already willing to do anything to make sure he never had to look at it again. It was all he could do to keep from leaping at her and hugging her close, feeling her warmth, touching her, holding her, kissing…

“We should get going,” he sighed, standing up from the sidewalk with only a minor stumble. She helped him along, offering support as they made their way back to the palace. “Seriously though, if I can say one last thing about it, nice shooting back there. Epic, action-hero stuff.”

“Well, I had to do something,” she snorted. “You were worried about us ‘throwing off your groove’? Really!? You expected me to buy that!?”

Bait cringed. “We’re usually better at coming up with excuses.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll buy that when I see it.”

“H-hey, we are!” It’s just that our heads get all fuzzy around you two... “We just got put on the spot there.”

“Uh-huh,” she rolled her eyes. “For a species based around lying and deception, you guys kinda suck at it.”

“Tell that to the other ponies we’ve left beaten and broken before us,” he grumbled, pouting as he looked away to disguise the blush rising on his chitin.

With that abating, Bait turned back to the pink mare pressing into his side, and his jaw dropped in horror. Instead of curing him of his sudden need to throw her to the ground and scream every idiotic, loving thing he’d been meaning to scream for the past few days, his little turn had apparently only served to amplify her beauty. They were just passing a Crystal house, which caught the moon’s beams at just the right moment to shimmer through her poofy mane. When she turned to meet his gaze, her eyes glowed like crystals in the night, amplifying the little smile that played on her cheeks.

His heart raced. His knees suddenly went weak, and not just from the blood loss. He bit his lip, not even minding when his fang scraped the inside of his mouth and drew a few drops of blood.

“Baity?” She asked. “What’re ya looking at?”

She turned, her long, supple neck exposing itself to her, the one that made him want to plant long trails of kisses along its entire length. Her flank flexed as she moved, jiggling that mild amount of fat ever-so-slightly, just enough to advertise its presence and tease at what could be. Her shoulder blades flexed with those powerful hooves she’d built up over years in the kitchen, working and kneading batter with her own might to build herself up into the mare she was now.

In that moment, he couldn’t stop himself. “Pinkie Pie?”

“Yeah?” She turned back to him, and thankfully that glow had faded from her eyes. He might have collapsed into a babbling, incoherent mess on the sidewalk if it hadn’t.

“Pinkie…can I ask you a question? About, say…a hypothetical situation.”

That damned smile again… “Sure, Baity! What’s on your mind?”

“Let’s say there was a pony,” he shivered, swallowed, and continued before his nerve could give out. “A pony who you knew could make your whole year with just a single night with them. A pony that was beautiful, kind, charming, and just…made you feel complete when they were around. A pony that got you all weak in the knees with just their smile. A pony who you knew would make you endlessly happy to be with, even if it was just for one night. What would you do?”

A very long, awkward silence followed. And then: “Baity?”

“Y-yeah?”

“How hypothetical is this situation?”

He bit his lip, again drawing blood around his one good fang. “Not very.”

His heart sank as the silence reigned once more. He slowly bowed his head as they walked, his ears and wings folding down. Then suddenly, he was swept up in a massive hug with a loud squeal of joy. His heart rose and stopped for a second as Pinkie held onto him, dancing around in a little circle as if he were a maypole at a spring festival.

“Let’s go snuggle!” She enthused, holding him high over her head like a prize and skipping down the streets.

There were many ways for Bait to react to this announcement. He could have been honest and screamed that she’d just made him the happiest stallion in the Crystal Empire. He could have played the stoic badass and smirked while telling her he’d always known she wouldn’t resist if he’d asked. He could have simply said nothing at all. Instead, what came out of his mouth was a panicked: “Be gentle!”

Thankfully, Pinkie appeared not to hear him, but a few blocks back, as Switch escorted Fluttershy back to the Palace, he suddenly cringed and leaned against her for support, feeling the strangest urge to hunt down his partner and smack him upside the head. All over the city, stallions far and wide randomly paused in what they were doing, many of them wincing. Even in the Equestrian army tents camped along the walls of the city, stallions on guard duty paused as if some invisible pony had just slapped them full on the face. Many didn’t even notice the strange, smug look of satisfaction on the faces of the mares around them. No pony and no changeling could have known it, but the reason for this was that another battle in the war of the sexes had just been fought and decided, and thanks to Bait’s utterly-pussified response to sleeping with the mare of his dreams, the fairer gender had won.

Ah well, at least one of their own was getting some that night.

Author's Notes:

For all those waiting for more Queen on Princess action, don't worry, I'm workin' on it!

Also, apologies. I had meant to post this update last week, but damn if I didn't get bogged down on my end. Moving takes a lot out of ya, kids.

Chapter XXX: Quick Fluff with Flutters and Switch

Switch ushered his charge back through the hallways, along past the nursery and the daycare. By now, the moonlight pouring through the windows had a green tint to it from the goop completely encasing them, but Fluttershy didn’t even seem to notice, keeping her attention on him, helping him along while offering as much support as she could.

“Does it still hurt?” She asked for the eleventh time, still looking over his head even as they walked.

“Again, Flutters, it’s just a little ache!” It was odd: he would be grinding his teeth at anyone else acting this way, shouting at them to just leave him alone and baring his fangs, but not Fluttershy. Instead, he couldn’t stop looking at her as the moon’s glow filtered through the green gunk and sparkled in her mane, casting her dandelion-cream coat in an almost-otherworldly hue. And maybe that’s why her constant pestering wasn’t annoying him: he was too utterly transfixed by the way she looked right then to even care.

“Oohhh…I know, it’s just you were on the ground for so long and you were barely coherent when they first got you up, I just…” she bit her lip, visibly stopping, and that’s when Switch’s heart leapt in his chest.

She cares about me… he realized. Not just pretending, not just forcing herself to give a damn to trick him into a false sense of security, but an honest bit of caring. To be cared for by someone so loving…

If it hadn’t been for the immense self-control that allowed him to carry out his missions with the success he’d known time and time again, he might have swept her up in his hooves and kissed her right then and there. It was more than enough to just keep trotting along and hope he could make it out of there with his sanity intact.

“Fluttershy, really,” he said, taking her hooves in his (and ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat as he did). “That wasn’t the first hit to the head I’ve ever taken, and it’ll be far from the last. A night of rest will do me good, and tomorrow, I’ll be ready and raring!”

Biting her lip, Fluttershy nodded, a slight mist shimmering over those deep, gorgeous eyes. Repressing the urge to kiss those tears away, Switch looked away, gazing up at the moon through the glistening layers of gunk layered over the windows, and trying not to think how amazing that angelic voice sounded while those moonbeams bounced off that luxuriously soft mane. He bit his lip so hard his fangs nearly drew blood. He had to distract himself, at least until they reached her cocoon and he could secure her for the night. He thought back over the last few days, his mind glancing over her talking about her animals, like that manticore who was supposedly waiting for a tea party back in Ponyville…

It hit him like a bolt, bringing a massive grin to his fangs. No, they couldn’t share in something intimate, but maybe they could share something just as special.

“Hey Flutters, hold up,” he said quickly.

She paused and turned to him, curious. “Hmm? Switch?”

Smiling, he lifted a wing, followed by a small section of carapace that unfolded by itself, much like a beetle’s. “You won’t believe how useful this little chunk of chitin can be,” he explained as he reached into it, feeling around the soft chitin beneath. “I can use it to hide knives, bolas, potions, just about anything you can think of. Of course, it’s the first spot royal guardsponies know to check on a captured changeling, so getting by them takes a little more creativity…”

He noticed the wide, glazed-over look in her eyes, and cursed himself. Just had to go and remind her that he was an enemy operative, and a professional at that. “Right, well,” he coughed. “The point is, it’s a great little spot for lots of things, even something alive.”

That wide-eyed look turned into cockeyed confusion, followed by an actual adorable squee of delight as his leg returned with a small, leathery bundle clutching to his fetlock. “Oh my goodness!” She gasped, eliciting a shiver from the bundle. “What is this!?”

A warm smile crossed Switch’s face as two humongous, brown eyes peered out from under the bundle. “This is Mr. Sprinkles,” he replied. “I found him back in the Hive, all alone.”

The massive eyes turned around, facing Switch with wide-eyed confusion, then turned to see the bright-yellow shock of color standing in front of him and immediately retreated. “Oh, it’s okay, little one,” Fluttershy cooed, inching forward ever-so-slightly with her voice low and soft. “I’m a friend.”

The eyes peered out again, and turned to face Switch, who nodded confidently. At that, the wings unfurled to reveal a tiny bat, no more than a few inches from wingtip to wingtip. “I figured he was the runt of his litter,” Switch said. “I…made a big mistake underestimating a little guy before, and it cost me big time, so I figured I better…you know…”

He trailed off as she smiled up at him, the mist gone from her eyes, replaced with cheerful glee that practically danced in her gaze. Once again, Switch had to summon all his self-control just to keep from hngh-ing right then and there. “Bat families are usually more tight-knit than that,” she whispered. “This one must have been left behind, or perhaps…something happened to his family.”

“Well, he’s not much of a talker,” he replied, turning his hoof to cradle the bat in a massive foreleg. “But he's been pretty loyal to me so far.”

“You must have been very kind to him for that loyalty. Bats are very fickle creatures.”

“Y-you're right, they are,” he stammered. “I wasn't sure you'd know that much about them, considering they're not exactly...you know...”

“...traditionally cute and cuddly?” She asked with a small, knowing smile.

He swallowed and nodded.

“Well, neither are bears. Or giant spiders. Or changeling nymphs. But they all still get hurt, and somepony has to care for them.” She nodded, so sure of herself, but then her face fell.

He didn't even have to ask. “You're worried about the ones back at your home. The ones you're not around for.”

She nodded again, biting her lip as the tears welled up. A tattered, insect wing wrapped around her whithers, and to both of their surprise, she embraced it.

“Don't worry, you'll get back there, I promise,” he whispered. “We're not gonna be here forever. Once we move out, everypony will be free to go.”

“How do you know that?” She whispered.

He bit his lip. “I wish I could tell you,” he sighed. “But just know if I have to carry you back there myself, you're going to make it to your home again, and you're going to help all of those little creatures.”

She smiled up at him. “You're acting like it's the most important thing in the world.”

He started to say: it is to me, but opted to just stroke her back instead, running a hoof against her soft coat.

“And maybe...when this all happens...you can visit sometime?” She whispered tentatively.

It was a testament to Switch's ability as an actor that he maintained the hoof rubbing her back at a steady pace, even as he fought to restart his heartbeat. Again, he wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to tell her that nothing would make him happier. He wanted to tell her he would count every second of every hour until that time. He wanted to tell her he could already picture a fine tea party in his mind, with him sitting across from her sipping at tea while she wore a gorgeous sundress, bathing in the sunlight as he slowly reached across to her, their eyes locking, muzzles closing together, and that it didn't matter if immediately after a dozen royal guardstallions showed up to haul him to the dungeons because that one moment would make it all worth it, and living the rest of his life without that moment would just wind up being one of his greatest regrets, something that he knew would weigh on his shoulders until the day he died.

Instead, he said: “We should get you back in your pod. It's been a long night.”

“Oh!” She gasped. “I'm sorry, you should be resting!”

“I'll be fine,” he mumbled as he ushered her back to her room, basking in the continued contact he had with her warm, lithe body. “I'll be just fine.”

Chapter XXXI: The Setup

When Luna’s eyes closed, they had been drinking in the inside of her little pod. When they opened again, she was back in the formal dining hall she had shared with her sister a few nights before. The opulent décor and seating remained, although the seat Discord had taken was now replaced with a great throne made out of licorice and toffee sweets, topped with a cardboard “Burger Queen Foals™” crown. She sighed and massaged a hoof deep into her temple. “Well, here I am,” she muttered. “But where’s…”

In a second, she was grabbed from behind, powerful legs locking her forehooves to her sides as she was lifted up with ease. Before she could react or move, she was quickly enclosed in a feathery, ivory prison. She smiled to herself. “Hey, Tia.”

“So happy you’re still safe!” Celestia cooed, nuzzling her sister as she enfolded her in her massive ivory wings.

“Tia dearest, I know you’re happy,” Discord’s familiar voice interrupted. “But Alicorns still require air at some point, do they not?”

“Hmm? Oh,” Celestia quickly released her sister and backed off, giving her some space. “Sorry Lulu, it’s easy to forget myself.”

“It’s alright, Tia, it’s alright,” Luna replied, taking her seat at the massive table. Celestia, for her part, practically skipped across the floor before prancing into her seat while Discord wafted into his taffy-covered throne like a leaf on a breeze, arms folded casually behind his head while he landed with a loud fart. “You seem awfully happy tonight,” Luna remarked.

“Well…” the solar princess paused, sharing a quick glance with the god of chaos. “I’m just so happy to see you’re still safe, is all.”

“Mm-hmm, you sure it has nothing to do with the fragment of orange-flavored gummy panties stuck to your hip?”

Flushing red, Celestia quickly turned and craned her neck around to her own flank, spotting the offending piece of sugar just a few inches above her cutie mark. Before she could lift it with her magic, a snake-like tongue lashed out and smacked against her flank, lapping the glob of sugar up with a loud smack that sent Celestia a few feet out of her throne with an adorable squeak. Blushing a deep red all over her body, she turned, following the offending tongue as it rolled back up into Discord’s mouth, carrying the little piece of candy with it.

He stayed there, leaning back in his chair, arms folded behind his head and one eye opened lazily as he chewed with a far-too-satisfied little grunt. “Mmmh - sorry Tia,” he said with a snaggle-toothed grin and a wink. “Thought it’d be best to save a little something for the road.”

Celestia’s entire body flushed bright red as Luna shivered from the base of her spine down to her wingtips. “Ugh, let’s get to it, then,” she sighed, hoisting up one of the wine bottles in her magic and pouring herself a glass. She knew it was impossible to get drunk in here, but damn if Discord’s presence didn’t make her want to try.

“So, dear sister,” Celestia said with a little smile, gratefully accepting the bottle when it was offered. “I trust you’ll be entertaining a changeling queen tonight?”

Luna returned the smile and nodded. “’Twas a simpler task than we thought it would be,” she said with a sip, easily dodging the bundle of snakes hissing at her lips when she lifted the glass up, to Discord’s chagrin. “The queen was only too understanding of our slips of the tongue, and ready to accommodate another evening tryst.”

Celestia blinked at her sister. “Tryst?”

Luna blinked right back. “What?”

After a pause, Celestia shook her head. “Nothing. Just…interesting choice of words, dear sister.”

Luna shrugged, taking another sip from her wine. “It matters not. The point is that we will be meeting yon queen again this evening, and perhaps we can learn a bit more about her plans then.”

“Izzat it?” Discord groaned, leaning back until the cardboard crown on his head warped and twisted. “That’s all you got for us? You’re just gonna walk in there and wing it?”

“Pardoning the pun, yes,” Luna replied with another casual shrug. Her manners lost, she leaned back in her chair, crossing her hind hooves up on the table and her forehooves around herself. “What else can we do? The battle with yon changeling queen and last night’s dinner were the only two times we’ve ever interacted with her, not counting talking with her in her throne room to earn tonight’s meet. How is that enough to predict her actions in the future? Or predict what conversational topics will garner a favorable response?”

“You’d be surprised, dear sister,” Celestia replied, taking a dainty, noticeably snake-free sip of her glass. “I once knew a pony who guessed another pony’s occupation and place of residence based on the pattern of calluses on their hooves and specific regional dialects from a few spoken words.”

Discord snickered. “You can’t know ponies what ain’t real, Tia dearest,” he mused.

“Sherlock Hooves is as real as I want him to be, Dissy dearest,” she hissed in response.

“You are right on one front though,” Discord turned to Luna. “Any detail could tell us everything we need to know to win here, not just from your dreamwalk, which I’m assuming was successful?”

Luna sat up and shivered, nodding. “Quite, although we found little that we think yon queen will wish to discuss, especially in a proper, conversational setting.”

“Then what about your actual interactions with the Queen herself?” Celestia asked, leaning forward in her seat. “Any emotions? Any topics she seemed enthused about?”

“Enthused? No. Resigned to discussing in a desperate attempt to drag a few words from me?” Luna sighed, giving a sheepish grin.

“Ah,” Discord moaned, running a claw along the side of his muzzle. “We have our work cut out for us, I see.”

“Yes,” Luna sighed, taking another, somewhat larger and less regal sip from her glass. “We have no idea why the Queen agreed to a potential repeat of last night. Seems counterintuitive to us.”

“Oh really?” Celestia leaned forward even further in her chair. “Why do you suppose she said yes, then?”

“Who knows?” Luna lamented. “It must be part of some agenda or another, heaven knows the few moments she actually seemed to be enjoying herself last night only came about when she was looking at our dress!”

The royal couple blinked at the smaller alicorn. “Your…dress?” Discord asked cautiously.

“Yes,” Luna sat up. “To be fair, it was quite lovely, even if it had a changeling flair to it. Why do you ask?”

“Luna, what was the exact look Chrysalis had?” Celestia said, now leaning forward so far her hooves were scuffing her dinner plates. “Think carefully now, what was it exactly?”

Luna shrugged, and with a casual wave of her hoof, a patch of air by her head started shimmering and waving, turning opaque as colors and lines not too unlike what danced behind a pony’s closed eyes started forming. “See for yourself,” she shrugged.

Discord and Celestia watched from Luna’s point of view as she rampaged through her dressing room with the chilling efficiency of a master of hoof-to-hoof combat. “Note to self: enroll Mooncheeks in a karate tournament when this is all over, and bet big,” Discord mumbled as the scene slowly shifted to the changeling queen. The moment the door opened, the royal couple watched as a faint green blush covered Chrysalis’s face, the look obvious even in the wavering view of the portal. Her eyes widened, her jaw fell slightly agape, and they could almost see her breath visibly catch in her throat.

“It…couldn’t be…” Discord mused.

“Could it?” Celestia whispered.

The vision dissipated as Luna sat up. “What? What is it you saw?”

Celestia now leaned over the table, her flank rising completely from her seat. “What happened after this, Luna!? What happened after!?”

“Ah,” Luna’s cheeks flushed red and she averted her gaze. “Well, we kind of hurt ourselves during our thrashing about, and she…healed us.”

“Healed you!?” Discord gasped.

“Yes,” Luna huffed, her wings ruffling out. “Took her sweet time about it too, yon changeling was distracted by something when she looked us in the eye, nearly forgot to cast the spell!”

“It could,” Discord shook his head. “It’s insane, it shouldn’t be possible--.”

“But it is!” Celestia squealed, beaming widely as a little giggle entered her voice. “It is! It’s right there! Oh, Lulu!”

“What!?” Luna said, her resignation giving way to confusion. “What are you both on about?”

“I always knew it would happen,” Celestia continued. “I mean, you’re such a beautiful pony, I was surprised it didn’t happen sooner! But it couldn’t have finally happened at a more opportune time!”

“What are these riddles you are speaking in!?” Luna huffed, nostrils flaring with impatience. “Tell me!”

“It was probably more fear than anything,” Discord snorted. “Takes a while to go from monster of everypony’s nightmares to subject of their wet dreams, y’know?”

“We know not of dreams about pools and beaches, what have they to do with the subject at hoof!?” Luna growled.

“It must have been the dress,” Celestia gasped. “Of course, your outfits must be positively ancient by now! When we get Rarity back, I must enlist her to sew up a whole new wardrobe—“

Her chest puffing out, Luna stood up in her seat and bellowed in her best Royal Canterlot Tone: “What in blue blazes are you two on about!?”

Discord and Celestia blinked back at her, stunned, then Celestia recovered and gave a quick giggle into her hoof. “Sorry Lulu, this is just…so rare! Our subjects are usually so intimidated by the crown, it makes any thoughts of romance impossible!”

Luna tilted her head in confusion. “Romance?”

“Ugh, how can somepony a thousand years old be this thick?” Discord said, turning on Luna. “The bug bitch is in love with ya, you oblivious moon horse!”

Luna stopped. She froze in place. Her eyes widened. Her mouth fell open. She remained rooted to her seat as if she were tied to it. Her lips sucked themselves back into her mouth.

“Um, Lulu?” Discord rapped on her head with a fist. “Aww shoot…anyone know if there’s an analog for Ctrl+Alt+Del on this thing?”

Again filling her lungs, Luna leaned back and let out a positively cataclysmic: “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttt!?” Her voice boomed throughout the room, blowing the table over and knocking her fellow diners away. It echoed throughout the dream plane, so loud that it startled half the population of Equus from their sleep, all of whom looked around in sudden confusion, coughed a bit, scratched themselves, and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. At least a dozen ponies and a handful of changelings were temporarily deafened by the sheer intensity of the shout. As it echoed out into the dream world, it left behind a trail of shattered glass, disturbed beasts, and parrots permanently ingrained with the word “what” in their vocabularies.

When the sonic blast of the exclamation had petered off and the final echoes were starting to fade away into the distance, Celestia and Discord cautiously pulled themselves up, carefully approaching the lunar princess as she sat there with her hooves clenching her armrests and her shoulders heaving. Finally, Discord managed to lay a claw on her wing, immediately darting back as if expecting it to be burnt off.

“Well Lulu, it was bound to happen eventually,” Celestia finally managed. “You are an attractive pony, after all.”

“Art thou insane, sister!?” Luna shrieked. “We might well beest did desire by an foe of the state, a psychotic wench who is't's plans f'r domination knoweth nay bounds, and thou art acting like this beest a grade-school crush!”

Once her internal “Shakespeare to plain Equish” translator caught up, Celestia sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with the tip of a gold-shod hoof. “Look at it this way, sister: this could well be our best shot into the inner-workings of the Queen.”

Luna gave Celestia a look as if the day-princess had just opened her mouth and revealed that her uvula was a smaller, less-perfect version of herself, capable of carrying on conversations, but only in Prench.

“Well c’mon, li’l Lulu, can’t be that hard,” Discord said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes and a toss of his arms. “Just keep shakin’ your flank until she starts spillin’ state secrets. Works for your sister.”

“Please,” Luna raised a hoof in his face. “Please don’t turn this into another thinly-veiled attempt into mine sister’s panties, aimed at starting another make-out session as soon as this dream ends.”

“Party-pooper.”

“What Discord is trying to say,” Celestia interjected, standing between the pair, “is that this might be the opportunity we’ve been looking for. Playing to the Queen’s desires might get her to open up to you, and while I doubt she’d be foolish enough to divulge all her plans, it might well give us an in. At the very least, you could learn more about changeling customs that would help us understand how their whole culture functions, and from there, infer some of the queen’s plans.”

Luna hummed as she placed a hoof against her chin. “Only one thing to really ponder: why us?” She sighed.

“Well, like my dearest love said,” Discord shrugged. “You are an attractive pony, even I can see that.”

“And you’ve always had a fire within you, that old battle-flame from an earlier time,” Celestia added. “It makes sense that one such as the Queen, who’s had to test herself in battle time and again, might actually find that attractive.”

“So definitely play that up,” Discord advised. “Also, don’t be afraid to shake dat flank.”

“Shake...my flank?”

Celestia promptly trotted in front of her and stretched out much like a cat, her flank raised in the air. Giving it the slightest little wiggle to set her lower cheeks jiggling, she straightened up, looking over her shoulder with a sultry, half-lidded look. She winked, and Luna turned in time to see Discord’s entire upper body turn bright red, his claws clenching and unclenching, a crooked fang digging into his lower lip.

“Shake dat flank,” Celestia cooed.

“Okay, well, this has been very productive,” Luna huffed, pulling herself out of her chair. “But we think it’d be best for it to end now, before things get a little too provocative.”

“Y’sure, Lulu?” Discord chortled. “Tia and I have been looking for a way to spice up the bedroom, and if bondage is losing its flair, then—“

He might have had more to say, but it was lost in the supersonic boom caused by two sets of Alicorn hooves slamming into his crotch at Mach Three, catapulting him through one of the walls of the dreamscape. Snorting up at the Discord-shaped hole punched in the roof, Luna lowered her gaze to her sister, smoke still rising from her hind hooves.

“He never knows when to stop,” Luna grumbled.

“That’s part of his appeal,” Celestia chuckled, shaking her head.

Rolling her eyes, Luna trotted towards the door, ready to climb back up to the waking world. “I really do wish I could understand you two,” she sighed.

“You don’t ‘understand’ Discord,” Celestia said, her eyes sparkling with that loving joy they always seemed to carry when discussing Discord. “You only learn to love and tolerate.”

“That’s the part I don’t understand,” Luna grumbled.

That sparkling joy faded just slightly, masked by concern for her sister. “You will someday, dear sister.”

Just wanting the conversation to be over, Luna pasted on a wide smile. “Okay, sis, whatever you say. I’d really like to get back to the waking world and prepare myself for tonight, so if it pleases you…”

Nodding her understanding, Celestia waved the smaller Alicorn forward, only letting her smile fade when she was certain she was alone and the light provided by Luna’s power totally faded. “You will…someday…” she sighed before she too faded out of the dream plane.

Chapter XXXII: Lulu 'n Chryssie's First Date, Take Two

To Chrysalis’s immense relief, the castle baker had cut down on the spread compared to the last meal she’d had with the Lunar Princess. Sure, the size and opulence of the feasting hall left a nasty feeling in her stomach, but at least she didn’t feel like she was starving a Zebrican village somewhere with the sheer amount of food spread before her.

This time, only a sparse few plates sat clustered at one end of the table: a couple salads coated in different dressings, one or two steaming pans, and a platter drizzled with something chocolatey and amazing-looking that Chrysalis just knew would add a couple inches to her waistline. Still somewhat extravagant considering there would only be two at the table, but nothing compared to the Haygas-style feast they’d seen previously.

“Apologies, my Queen,” a changeling in a bowtie insisted as he bowed at Chrysalis’s hooves. “The baker you appointed was…otherwise occupied, and could not repeat her performance of the other night.”

“No no, this is perfect,” she smiled down at the smaller changeling. “You have done well, my subject.”

“Thank you, your highness, if there is any more you and your guest require, do not hesitate to ask,” and with that, the changeling left with a bow, leaving the royal pair standing in the middle of the banquet hall.

Chrysalis turned to Luna once more, once again nearly taken aback by the beauty in the lunar alicorn, the sheer indomitable will in the eyes, the perfectly-angled curves of the healing face, the well-muscled contours in that body beneath her slim evening dress. Good Maker above, what had this creature been like under the influence of Nightmare Moon? All that power focused into that body…

“Art thou alright?”

Luna’s gentle voice pierced Chrysalis’s hormone-addled daydream. “Fine, fine,” Chrysalis said quickly, shaking her tattered mane from side to side as she stepped towards the table. As she approached, a silly impulse overtook her and she pulled a chair out, standing to the side. “Ladies first,” she snickered.

To her surprise, Luna bowed gratefully and seated herself as properly as any princess at a royal function. “Nice to see there are some manners under that carapace,” she remarked.

Ah, there’s the ice-bitch, Chrysalis snorted as she turned away. With a swooping motion, she took her seat, and began filling her plate with a few heaping helpings from each pan.

An awkward silence took hold over the pair, broken only by the scrape of silverware on ceramic and the crunch of something particularly tough on each of their plates. Every now and again, some topic for small-talk would pop up in Chrysalis’s mind, but then the memory of the previous night would force it back down again.

“I’m sorry,” Luna’s voice once more cut right through Chrysalis’s reverie.

Chrysalis locked eyes with her, startled. “What?”

“I…have some things to apologize for too,” Luna said, her speech stilted, as though she’d spent hours rehearsing it but had completely forgotten those hours now that the moment was here. “You may have done some monstrous things, but you didn’t deserve to be called a monster, Chrysalis. Especially not from myself.”

“That is…quite alright, princess,” Chrysalis said, not quite believing what she’d just heard. “I’ve been called worst things.”

“But never something that struck such a nerve,” Luna pointed out.

“Yes, well,” Chrysalis shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “It can get rather tiring, being called a monster, is all. You ponies seem to have a fondness for that word.”

She could not keep the venom from her voice, though she regretted it the moment the words had left her lips. Still, Luna didn’t even flinch. Shifting uncomfortably once more, Chrysalis changed gears. “So, what did you mean by ‘especially not from myself’?”

“Hmm?”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, then allowed a quick burst of green, transformative magic in her throat. “You may have done some monstrous things, but you didn’t deserve to be called a monster, Chrysalis. Especially not from myself.” She said in a pitch-perfect imitation of Luna’s voice.

Luna blinked at her, shocked by the imitation, then quickly settled. “Ah, that. We-I was referring to my past self. In case you were unaware--”

“You were making reference to Nightmare Moon, were you not?” Chrysalis asked.

Luna bolted upright in her seat, then relaxed again. “Er…yes,” she sighed, her wings drooping as she suddenly seemed more focused on picking at a tomato rolling around on her plate than the conversation. “Yes, that’s what I was talking about.”

Sensing she was already losing her dining partner, Chrysalis went into full-on recovery mode. “Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I didn’t know it was--”

“No, no, it’s quite alright, I should be able to talk about it,” Luna sighed. “’Twas our own jealousy that nearly destroyed the world and changed us into an all-powerful monster of doom, after all.”

“No, really, I did not mean to pry!”

“But you should,” Luna sighed, poking away at her plate. Chrysalis bit her lip. She had been so close to getting through to the Equestrian princess, and now it looked like she was right back to where she’d been the night before. She moaned in the back of her throat at her own idiocy and hunched low in her chair, resigning herself to a long, awkward, and silent meal.

Her surprise grew when Luna spoke up again: “Most ponies think that the Nightmare completely repressed me, that there was no control on my end. That I was always the victim.”

Chrysalis looked up, an eyebrow raised. “Is that not true?”

“Mostly…” Luna sighed. “It’s…difficult to put into words. I was awake, but I was dreaming. Many of my mental faculties were still in place, but it was easier to stay in the dream.”

Chrysalis’s other eyebrow joined the first up by her hairline. “You were conscious that entire time?”

“Sort of,” Luna sighed and exhaled out her nose in exasperation. “It’s hard to explain, to even remember what things were like under the Nightmare, but there were times when I managed more lucidity for myself, flashes of times that I can remember actually thinking and in the real world.”

“Did you fight it?”

Luna looked up, and her ears joined her wings somewhere by her hooves. Chrysalis rocked back in her seat. Great, just when she was turning things around…

“The idea occurred to me once or twice,” Luna said, her gaze sinking back to her plate. Chrysalis leaned forward in her chair. “But the Nightmare could be surprisingly enticing. It knew how to cut me off, how to remind me of all the old jealousy and hate that made me welcome it in the first place. But most of all, it told me of all the damage I’d done, made it seem like it was too late to even try and repair any of it.

“There were times when I wanted to change back and be my sister’s little Lulu again,” Luna gave a long, forlorn sigh. “But by then it had been centuries, and I was typecast into my role by the ponies of Equestria. I was no longer one of their princesses, but a monster with which to terrify their foals using old stories of my evil. The Nightmare kept giving me this image of my little ponies fleeing and running at the mere sight of me, and the idea of being treated like a monster got so bad that…”

“…that every time you thought about doing something good, the mere idea of how you’d be treated got to be too much, and you were filled with so much hate that you just wound up right back where you started.” Chrysalis finished.

Luna bolted upright in her chair, wings flaring against their gilded restraints as her eyes met with Chrysalis’s. Again, Chrysalis was taken aback by those deep, livid pools, that little chunk of night sky which seemed to exist in Luna’s eyes, but only for a second before she nodded.

“Yes…” Luna said. “Yes, exactly.”

Chrysalis couldn’t help but offer her a little smirk. “Wow, I never would have imagined hearing that from an Equestrian princess.”

“And I never would have imagined finding common ground with an invading queen,” Luna scoffed lightheartedly.

“That fiasco on Nightmare Night must have been a nightmare made real, then,” Chrysalis said casually, sipping at her wine.

Again, Luna bolted upright in her seat, glaring across the table at her dining partner. “How didst thou know…”

“Oh please, that story is practically an Equestrian fairy tale at this point,” Chrysalis chortled. “It was bound to cross my ear eventually.”

“I…” Luna bowed low again, and a twinge of guilt weighed itself in Chrysalis’s chest, but still Luna continued. “Yes, for a while it really was.”

Silence reigned for a while yet, and then Chrysalis added quietly: “At least somepony saved you.”

Luna looked up at that, shocked. Chrysalis could see the calculations running behind those gorgeous, blue pools, the way her mind raced, but at what? Perhaps seeing her in a new light? Jeez, that’d be a nice change.

Eventually, Luna settled for sighing and leaning back in her chair, munching at her salad. For a little while yet, silence descended upon the table, until Luna looked up again. “We has't shared much with thee, fair queen, would thee reciprocate if 't be true hath asked?”

Chrysalis felt her mind drain away at Luna’s sentence. “My apologies, Princess, but I caught perhaps half of that.”

“Ah, our apologies,” Luna nodded, sitting up straighter. “I meant to say that I have shared something private about myself, and I was just hoping you might do the courtesy of reciprocating.”

“Something about me, eh?” Chrysalis leaned onto her fetlocks, her front knees pressed on the table, her chin resting on her hooves as a cocky smile spread across her muzzle. “Interesting, what would you like to know?”

For a moment, that cool calculation returned to Luna’s eyes, and finally, she spoke once more: “We would like to hear about your predecessor and father, the late King Atrax,” she finally said.

A cold knot of fear clenched in Chrysalis’s stomach. Though the only indication that she had felt anything at all was the way she set her fork back down at her plate’s side with a morsel of lettuce still dangling from it, it took all her strength and willpower to keep from bolting away from the table. “Now, why would you want to know about him?” She asked, cursing the mild quiver in her voice.

Again, the gears turned in Luna’s head. “Curiosity, is all. We heard much about the king and the passing of his lovely queen. ‘Twould be best to hear about those days from somepon - I’m sorry, someling who was there.”

Chrysalis picked up her fork again. Yes, of course, of course it was. Sure, alright, what was wrong with letting a few things loose? “My father was…a very brutal stallion,” she said, twirling the fork in her magic’s grasp. “It’s an incredibly good thing he met my mother, in fact. She tempered him, gave him a counterbalance to his constant demands for perfection and progress.”

“Demands?” Luna asked.

Chrysalis nodded. “He once tortured an entire battalion that had been sent to raid a dragon’s den for failing to kill all the dragon’s offspring,” she said. “It didn’t matter that the main body of the mission was done, to him, anything less than perfection was a deliberate act of treason.”

“And your mother?”

“Stopped him before he went too far,” Chrysalis allowed a tiny smile across her lips. “He might well have ordered those soldiers’ eyes gouged out were it not for her intervention.”

“My word,” Luna shivered. “For something that only he interpreted as a mistake…”

“Like I said, cold and brutal. In all honesty, I think mother only married him because she knew the changelings would suffer under his rule if no one reined him in,” she sighed wistfully, leaning back again as she scooped up another forkful of salad. “They did love each other eventually, and that love was enough to stay his hoof.”

“I…heard your mother fell ill, at one point,” Luna said as gently as she could.

“Yes. And my father’s grief combined with her loss was terrible,” Chrysalis gazed into her drink like an alchemist with her brew, seeing visions of things done and sins unatoned for in the blood-red liquor. “He was bad before, but once she was gone, he was out of control. He would give orders that didn’t make sense, send changelings to the torture chambers for reasons he made up on the spot: he actually ordered the officers of an entire battalion to be stretched out on the rack for wearing the wrong belt, nevermind that it was the same ceremonial belt that changeling CO’s had been wearing for centuries and that there was no other belt they might have possibly worn. I think he just decided that day he didn’t like the color.”

“My word,” Luna gasped, balanced at the edge of her seat. “How old were you when all this was going on!?”

At that, Chrysalis sighed, downed her glass in a single gulp, and stared at Luna, her gaze going numb. “Thirteen.”

Again, silence, the two gazing into one another’s eyes, Chrysalis’s thousand-yard stare against Luna’s wide and shocked gaze. They sat like that until Luna leaned forward in her chair and whispered conspiratorially: “What did you do?”

“At first? Cower in fear,” Chrysalis grumbled, looking this way and that, everywhere but the princess. “I was a child, and daddy had clearly lost his mind. His madness was such that the throne room became a place of fear and death, more akin to a torture chamber than the seat of an Empire. “After a while, I realized someling had to take my mother’s place. I tried to show him some of that old love: got him cards for birthdays, sat by his side at the dinner table. One night, I even studied the history of the Second Gryphonian Civil War because I remembered my mother having a spirited conversation about it with him at one point, when I was young.”

Luna nodded with all this, her hoof propping her chin up just so she could lean forward in her chair. “A daughter’s love,” she mused.

“And when that didn’t work, one night I pulled him in for a hug, embraced him one final time, and tore his throat out with my fangs,” Chrysalis finished, pouring herself another glass of wine from the flask on the table, again looking into the bubbling, frothing booze like it was on the verge of showing visions to the future.

Luna sat stock-still. To her credit, she didn’t recoil or gasp, she just sat there, staring.

Chrysalis managed a casual shrug. “I just couldn’t be the mare my mother was.”

“It was unfair that you were even forced to try,” Luna pointed out.

“Yeah, well, life’s not fair sometimes,” Chrysalis replied, taking a gulp from the freshly-poured wine. Once more, silence fell in the dining hall, Chrysalis gazing into her wine, and Luna watching her raptly. Finally, Chrysalis sat up with a cheeky, painfully-fake smile. “Apologies, Princess. That got a bit...dark.”

“Ah, perhaps it is I who should apologize,” Luna sat up, her hooves raised and a slightly more natural smile on her face. “I’m the one who brought it up.”

“Only because I pressed you for something more personal,” Chrysalis pointed out.

“What’s say we both admit fault and call it even,” Luna replied, raising her glass to her lips for the first time that night. Lips that, Chrysalis noted, look quite nice puffed out against the glass.

“Agreed,” Chrysalis replied, pausing before her next sip. Instead, she grinned, raised the glass in the air, and motioned to Luna with an exaggerated sweep of her hoof. “To past traumas shared!”

Luna let out a quick chortle, then raised her own glass. “May they stay forever in the past.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Chrysalis laughed as their glasses dinged together, and as she retrieved her hoof to take a sip, Chrysalis gazed over the rim of her glass and concluded firmly that the princess was, in fact, more than a pretty face and a sexy wingspan. A lot more, in fact, though seeing those gorgeous, living pools gazing at her half-lidded was still more than enough to make her heart skip a beat. Cripes, was the room getting warmer? Yes, that was it; the air in here was getting stifling. She simply had to get some fresh air…but no harm in bringing the princess along, right?

“Tonight, I thought we’d try something different,” Chrysalis announced suddenly.

Luna tilted her head and set her glass down, arching an eyebrow quizzically.

“It’s been a while since you saw your moon, hasn’t it?”

Luna paused at that. She did not react but for a long, blank look, as if something in her brain needed to shut down and reboot. “It has been a few days, yes.”

Chrysalis nodded, then fell to her hooves on the crystalline floor, trotting away from the opulent table. “Well, c’mon. We don’t have all night.”

Carefully, as if the floor might be booby-trapped, Luna lowered herself to the floor and trotted after. Chrysalis waited until they were shoulder-to-shoulder before continuing on into the hallway. There, a trio of changelings in armor were quick to match their pace, though they gave the royal pair ample breathing room. Luna allowed a tiny smile to play on her lips. As they trotted along, her eyes wandered over every nook and cranny, every corner, anywhere to avoid the Queen’s gaze, as if she were distracted by something.

Pondering that, Chrysalis stopped at a set of double doors and gently eased them open with her magic. The crystal still hummed and sparked with green sparks as Luna stepped through and drank in the sight of the Empire at night.

The pair had appeared on a massive crystal balcony, gazing into the streets far below. The cool night air flooded their lungs. Little dots flitted about beneath them, and it took a minute for Chrysalis’s eyes to adjust enough to make out the tiny legs and equine forms of each dot, identifying black dots as changelings patrolling and multicolored dots as ponies. She heard a sigh of relief from Luna and grinned maliciously.

“Worried I had all of your little ponies cocooned?” She scoffed.

Luna’s feathers bristled. “It wasn’t like you gave me any reason to think otherwise.”

“Oh come now, do you realize the expense of feeding and caring for ponies in cocoons? It’d be insane.” Chrysalis retorted.

“You haven’t given me any reason to think you aren’t that either,” Luna added. Before Chrysalis could reply, however, Luna interrupted with a breathless gasp: “My word!”

A bit of moonlight had hit one of the larger structures below at just the right angle, the resulting glow shimmering through the crystal and warping to create multicolored halos in the buildings that splayed out like fireworks at their hooves.

“Yeah,” Chrysalis chortled. “There is an official balcony up higher, but this one is a bit more reserved and at the perfect height for this view. Besides, it’s the same place Shining Armor and Cadence use for secret midnight trysts.”

Luna turned to her, eyes still darting to the view. “How would you know that?”

“The secret compartment filled with condoms, magic suppressing-collars, and fuzzy pink hoof-cuffs by your left hoof,” Chrysalis replied with a nonchalant smirk.

Luna squeaked and danced away from the spot, only to glare at the slight giggle rumbling up Chrysalis’s throat, the nonchalant smirk widening.

“Dirty trick,” Luna hissed, though she couldn’t stop a light smile from crossing her face.

“I know, but a fun one,” Chrysalis giggled, her double-toned voice giving her laugh an extra-melodic tone that made Luna’s face heat up. Thinking she’d earned a blush of embarrassment, Chrysalis continued: “Oh, it was just a trick, Princess!”

“It was still uncalled for,” Luna huffed. “The goings-on of a married couple’s lives are not something to intrude upon.”

“I mean it was a joke, there’s no compartment filled with naughty paraphernalia by your hooves!” Chrysalis guffawed.

“Oh, of course,” Luna was quick to resume her place at the balcony railing, her wings twitching with the effort of trying to expand beneath their gooey prisons as she gazed out over the city.

“And by that, I mean I had it emptied out the moment I discovered it,” Chrysalis added with a little coo.

Luna glared at the snickering changeling as she shifted further along the rail. “Celestia spare me,” she groused.

Chrysalis whipped around to continue the banter, but her voice caught in her throat: the same halos playing out like a series of magically-created sunsets beneath them also hit the balcony just at the right angle to capture the lunar princess in silhouette, shimmering off the sparkles in her mane. She turned to Chrysalis with a blink, and the multicolored hue shone in her eyes. Chrysalis’s heart slammed into her stomach and something within her trembled, something she had not felt in a long time.

And then a cocky grin spread across Luna’s face, her eyes going half-lidded. “Remember what they say in museums,” she mused, her wide, strobing eyes still drinking in the city.

Chrysalis blinked herself free of her trance. “Wh-what was that?”

“You can look at the art, but you better not touch,” Luna replied, and suddenly the wide, awestruck eyes were replaced with a knowing smirk.

Scoffing again, Chrysalis turned away, leaning over the balcony. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she hissed. “You had a bit of spinach caught in your teeth, is all.”

“Oh, really? Here?” With that, Luna ran her tongue along her lip, slowly and sensually massaging it along.

Chrysalis’s stomach did a flip as she scowled at Luna. “What are you doing!?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” Luna smiled sensually, gazing passively over at her moon, then suddenly turning on the changeling queen. She giggled, then stepped close, a little smile on her lips. “After all, isn’t this just what we both want?”

Chrysalis’s stomach did a final backflip, then paused. Something icy and cold curled around her heart and clenched tight. “I see…” she mumbled, but of course. Luna had discovered her physical attraction with her, and was now trying to leverage that to her advantage. Great. Well, she knew her acting skills were slipping when Twilight had detected her so easily back during the wedding. If she couldn’t disguise her true self from a teenaged unicorn, what chance had she honestly stood against a princess old enough to remember Discord’s first reign?

Well, at least the princess was behaving, and she had made a deal.

Chrysalis turned back towards the double doors. “You will be let out at breakfast tomorrow,” she hissed. “You will be allowed to roam the castle interior, but no further. You are also disallowed from the throne room. If you need something, one of the guards will fetch it for you. Don’t test me: this is a privilege I am allowing you.”

There was a moment of silence, and then she felt a hoof hovering near her shoulder. “Chrysalis…” Luna asked.

The queen stepped through the doors without another word, trotting away back out the halls and leaving the princess standing there, her hoof hovering in the air. Before the doors squeezed shut behind her, Chrysalis heard a muttered: “Ugh, Luna, you idiot…” and then the hallway fell into darkness as the massive doors pinched off the last shreds of moonlight from outside. Then, as it usually did, the raspy voice of a withering, broken shell of a changeling mare came to her. She could see it clearly, as if it was happening right in front of her all over again. She could see the older changeling gazing at her with tired, bleak eyes, her dull fangs regaining just a hint of their old glisten in the dimmed light. She could feel the old body quiver as the older changeling reached out a weak hoof to stroke her mane and she whispered: “Someday, my princess, you will meet someone who will make you feel like the stars were something they wove together just for you.”

Chrysalis let her breath out in a long, quivering gasp. “Sorry to disappoint you, mother,” she grumbled, trotting away down the hall.

Chapter XXXIII: Back to the Girls

Twilight Sparkle eased into her seat. The greasy old office of the factory the remaining Elements had taken as their base of operations was far from the oak-paneled conference rooms she was used to drawing up plans in, but desperate times called for desperate measures, as Luna would say.

Besides, they had an open bar. The strategy meetings in Canterlot never had one of those. Although based on the way Rainbow and Applejack were slouching in their seats, holding chunks of ice from the bar's cooler to their foreheads, that was hardly an advantage.

"Darlings, you simply must learn a thing or two about moderation," Rarity mused, a knowing smile on her face as she sipped at her appletini. "Or at least about handling your liquor."

"What're you talkin' about? I..." Rainbow sat up, then cringed and laid her head back down again. "...I'm just fine, I gotta...got an ice cream headache, is all."

"Yeah-huh, that's why yer eyes're more bloodshot than a college freshman at a party wit' Treehugger," Applejack snickered in between groans of pain.

"You wanna do...do round number eight...Apple-butt!?" Rainbow hissed, the effect of her threat somewhat lessened by her inability to lift her head off the table.

"Girls," Twilight hissed testily. All three immediately sealed their lips. None of them wished to test her anymore: Twilight's mane had started fraying, and her teeth had started to grind together in a way that reminded them of the infamous Smarty-Pants Incident, or "The Day We All Rioted Over a Doll Thanks To Purple-Smart."

Ponyvilleans weren't known for their creativity in naming things. Hence why they lived in a place called Ponyville.

"Now, I'd like to thank you all for taking time out of your schedules to attend," Twilight said, pulling out a couple clipboards (which were thankfully plentiful in an abandoned factory) and ticking off the first checkbox: 'Thank Attendees for Attending.’

"Well, yeah, of course we're gonna attend. We're all sitting in here all the time, what else are we gonna do?" Rainbow quickly pointed out, though Rarity was even quicker to shoot her a harsh glare.

"Now, I wanted to start off by going over some hopeful developments," Twilight beamed at her audience as she ticked off 'Go Over Best News.' "We successfully planted the bugging device in the Crystal Throne, and have been able to determine the well-being of our friends!"

Everypony bolted up at that, even Rainbow sat upright and leaned forward in her chair, forcing a loud creak from the rusting metal. She was so dumbfounded she even avoided the obvious joke about bugging a bunch of bugs. "Well!?" Rarity gasped.

"They're okay," Twilight said, and a collective sigh of relief made its rounds while she elaborated: "Fluttershy is being used as a food source for the changeling young, Pinkie is being forced to bake for the queen, and Luna is being held in the dungeons beneath the palace. I hear they take her out every night for...dinner..."

The group all shivered at the ominous implications of that. Twilight had to take a long, shaky breath before she could continue. "Best case scenario, I believe, is that Luna is being drained of her love nightly, being 'dinner' and all."

"That's the best case!?" Rainbow Dash gasped. "That would mean Chrysalis is probably supercharged on moon love right now!"

"It's the best case because it means Chrysalis has a reason for keeping her alive," Twilight said quietly.

That got the table to fall silent again. Eventually, Applejack leaned forward, cautiously extending a hoof. "Twi," she said carefully, her brow furrowed. "I noticed you didn't mention two other ponies in yer report."

Twilight bit her lip, her ears folding down. "Chrysalis is being very private about where my brother and Cadence are being held," she whispered. "I have no idea where they could be, or what their current state is, b-b-but given what I know about Chrsyalis, and considering the part they played in her defeat at Canterlot..."

The other three stood up from their chairs to surround the purple unicorn in a massive group hug, nuzzling her close. "You hush up and you don't even think 'bout that none," Applejack whispered in her ear. "Shining an' Cadence are just fine, ain't no use worryin' about it bein' otherwise 'til you know."

"Yeah egghead, she's a princess, and he's a badass super-soldier!" Rainbow enthused. "I bet they're running their own operation across town, worrying sick about you!"

"That would explain why Chrysalis doesn't talk about them!" Rarity offered hopefully. "She could be so frustrated about her inability to capture them that she won't even let them be mentioned in her presence!"

"Thanks girls," Twilight said quietly, squeezing her friends close. "Thank you so much."

The group remained as they were for a few minutes longer before returning to their seats, a quiet, gentle air filling the room. "Now," Applejack said, her hoof extended out until it touched Twilight's. "Why dontcha tell us everything else ya had planned?"

"Oh, of course!" The rest of the meeting!" Twilight gasped, thankfully distracted by her own focused nature as she reached under the table for a set of folders. "I know how they're holding Fluttershy and Pinkie. Both of them have their own personal guards, assigned to watch them and keep them contained 24/7."

"Just one?" Rainbow snorted, leaning back in her chair as she folded her forehooves across her chest. "I get them needing that for Flutters, but Pinkie? She shoulda busted out by now, with Fluttershy in tow."

"These are no ordinary guards, and that's where the good news ends," Twilight sighed, spreading out the contents of the manila folders over the table. "These changelings are two of the most effective infiltrators in Chrysalis's entire army: a pair as cruel as they are cunning and ruthless, battle-tested, hardy, and nearly-unstoppable in a close-quarters fight."

"These renderings are quite amazing," Rarity mused, holding up a pencil drawing of a massive changeling with a crippled wing and an ugly scar down the side of his face.

"Thanks!" Stu said, waving gleefully from the doorway before ducking back out again.

"We made those based on a few descriptions and guesses we were able to glean from listening to the Throne Room," Twilight explained. "The big one is Switch: the bruiser of the group. Despite his size, his agility is legendary within the Swarm, and he's reported to be able to break ponies' legs with his bare hooves. Currently, he's assigned to holding Fluttershy prisoner."

The mares all gawped at the picture. "My word," Rarity gasped.

"Flutters against that monster?" Rainbow Dash shook her head, a snarl twisting her muzzle. "He better not touch her. He better pray I don't find him if he's touched her."

"We gotta get 'er out, get her away from this thing," Applejack whispered.

"Not easy, this is the nursery she's being held in," Twilight explained. "It's where they're keeping a few of their young."

"Chrysalis brought young'uns to a warzone!?" Applejack gasped.

"Which is why the nursery is likely the most fortified point in the whole Empire," Twilight sighed. "Every window is sealed with Changeling goop, making it impervious to magical attack. And I know that that part of the Palace will have way more changeling patrols than anywhere else."

"Shoot," Rainbow muttered.

"On the plus side, I doubt Pinkie will be so hard," Twilight added, pointing to the other picture. "She's just being held in the kitchen area, and while it is a subterranean level, it's not nearly as well-guarded."

"Aww heck, this li'l guy?" Rainbow said, scoffing at the picture of the changeling in her hoof. "Like I said, Pinkie shoulda busted out with Flutters in tow by now."

"Careful, Rainbow: that's Bait," Twilight explained. "He might look like a runt, but he's the other half of the team, meaning whatever he looks like, he's just as ruthless as his partner and more than capable in a fight. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew a few martial arts to keep up in a team like this. Plus, the fact that Pinkie is still his captive speaks volumes on its own."

"My word," Rarity shivered. "I can only guess how Pinkie and Fluttershy are suffering at the hooves of these brutes!"

“We’ll get ‘em out,” Rainbow whispered. “We’ll get ‘em out, and we’ll make the bugs pay for whatever they’ve been doing to our friends.”

“The rest of those folders are filled with whatever I could gather on their exploits,” Twilight sighed. “The lists are a mile long: bank robberies, break-ins, all operations that pitted these changelings against overwhelming odds. All ended with Bait and Switch standing over a pile of beaten, bloody bodies. And not just pony bodies: there’s the kidnapping of a griffon noble, the subduing of a minotaur bandit camp on the outskirts of the Badlands, I even have here that they broke into the Canterlot Archives to steal the plans for the Empire’s sewer system on the eve of the invasion!”

“My word,” Rarity whispered again, her breath coming out in a hushed whimper. “This doesn’t sound like it will be easy.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Rainbow scoffed. “I don’t care what Chrysalis throws at us, we can’t let these assholes hold on to our friends! They could be getting tortured right now, just waiting for us to bust in an’ save them!”

“We’re all aware, Rainbow,” Twilight said, cutting the pegasus off as a few more strands of mane popped free. “But we have to do this quickly and stealthily. It’s a long shot, and we’re only gonna get one chance at this, but if we do it right, we might get the drop on Chrysalis and free the whole Empire!”

“I say the sooner the better,” Rarity sighed, casting a worried look out onto the factory floor. “In case you’ve all forgotten, our friends in captivity aren’t the only ticking time bomb we need to worry about.”

As she spoke, a dark pink dot appeared at the far end of the factory, visible through the grimy windows of the office. It trotted slowly away, heading towards the stairs for the rooftop, but even from where they sat, they could hear the partially made-up swears and curses echoing from the dot.

“That’s the third time just today,” Rarity groaned. “Heaven knows what that mare would do to that changeling if we didn’t have stallions constantly watching the door to her cell.”

“Petalgrown has turned out to be a bit of a liability…” Twilight said, biting her lip.

“A bit!?” Rainbow scoffed. “Twilight, if those stallions weren’t there, she’d probably have killed it by now, and then gone off to the roof to take potshots at the changeling patrols! She’s totally off her rocker!”

“She’s emotionally damaged by a secret her friend and crush was keeping from her for years,” Twilight sighed. “I mean, imagine if it was one of us who turned out to be a changeling, and the pony we’d known all these years was just a fabrication! Would you blame us for our reactions? And besides, what can we do? Tell her to buzz off to the nearest changeling base and turn herself in?”

“N-no, of course not,” Rainbow said, biting her lip as all her bravado faded away. “I’m just saying, we have to think of something to do with her.”

Twilight gazed out at the pink blotch as it disappeared up to the roof once again. “I don’t know what that could be,” she sighed. “Unless you all think we should tie her up like we did with the changeling, throw her into another basement cell.”

“Could we really do that? After everything she’s been through?” Rarity asked, sipping at her appletini.

Her only answer was silence. It was all the answer she needed.

“Let’s take a break,” Twilight said quickly, descending from her chair even as she spoke. “We can try and come up with ideas while we’re out, and then regroup.”

The other mares all nodded in agreement and broke off, heading to their separate corners: Rarity with the cardboard boxes she was using as a lawn chair, Applejack and Rainbow for the overturned garbage cans set up in front of the plank they were using as a bar, and Twilight for the little corner of the factory floor where she’d piled up the few books and papers they’d managed to scrounge up. Scooping up her clipboards, she headed out the door. As soon as she hopped into the stairwell, she heard a pony bang through, noisily clopping out onto the metal stairs. She turned as Applejack rounded a corner and gazed down at her.

“Applejack?” Twilight asked, cocking her head curiously. “What’s up?”

Applejack bit her lip, gazing over Twilight with her brow hunched in worry, all while visibly debating with herself on how to put what was on her mind into words as tactfully as possible. Eventually, one side simply won out. “It’s ‘bout Shinin’ and Cadence,” she spat out.

Twilight blinked, then sighed as her friend’s words processed. “It’s…okay,” she said. “There’s nothing we can do about it except win, so I’ll—“

“That’s horseapples Twi, and you’re smart enough t’know it,” Applejack spat, catching Twilight by surprise. Not letting up, she continued her onslaught: “Twilight, I know a thing or two ‘bout fearing fer kin. Celestia knows I darn near cuffed myself to Applebloom just t’avoid leavin’ her alone for a day or two.”

“I remember you talking about that!” Twilight giggled. “She wound up running out and fending off a chimera anyway!”

“Yeah, that’s Apple family stubbornness fer ya,” Applejack replied with a roll her eyes. “Anywho, I wantcha to know you ain’t alone in this. You got a lot of ponies here who get you’re goin’ through a rough time right now, and who’d be more than willin’ t’lend an ear. You’re not the only one that’s got ponies they care about who’s flanks’re on the line here.”

Twilight blinked again, and then nodded. “I get that,” she whispered, her gaze sinking.

“Then y’gotta talk t’us, okay?” Applejack said. “Y’gotta open that muzzle a’ yers and not try an’ bottle it all up or carry it alone. Celestia knows Dash an’ I have done plenty jawin’ these last few days about how scared we are fer Pinkie and Flutters. Even Rarity sits with us sometimes, when she can tear her hooves from Stu’s file.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Stu?”

“Apparently, he’s got a talent fer handlin’ a mare’s hooves on top a’ sketching and Celestia-knows-what-else,” Applejack shrugged. “He’s a stallion a’ many talents. Either way, y’hear what I’m sayin’. We’re all worryin’ ourselves sick right now, so I know you gotta be hurtin’ twice as much with actual blood in trouble.”

Twilight just shook her head. “Talking isn’t gonna free our friends, or the Empire.”

“But it’ll keep ya from losin’ yer head!” Applejack snorted, stamping a hoof angrily. “I see that look in yer eyes! Yer fixin’ t’snap all over again.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Applejack shook her head sadly. “Y’all forced me t’do this,” she said, raising her head to meet Twilight’s eyes. “Shining’s prolly gettin’ done up the flank by Chrysalis herself, while she’s wearin’ a strap-on.”

At first, Twilight flushed a deep red. Then she snarled and leapt at Applejack, forgetting the fact that she was one of Equestria’s most powerful unicorns to throw her little purple body at the farmer. Of course, with Applejack being one of the strongest tree-buckers in all of Equestria, and Twilight being a purple nerd who spent all her time reading books, this was effective for only the few short moments it took Applejack to regain her balance, twist, and pin Twilight in a headlock, letting the unicorn snarl and lash out with her hooves until she simply went limp.

“Okay, maybe I’m feeling a bit emotional right now,” she finally relented.

“Naawwww, y’think!?” Applejack sighed as she released her grip. “Twi, no mare’s a castle, we all need help with our worries, even Dash is mare enough t’admit that. Why ain’t you?”

The tears started flowing, wetting the already rusted steel. “I’m an idiot sometimes, is all,” she sniffled.

“We know, Celestia knows we know,” Applejack chuckled, hoisting her friend up to her hooves with a powerful yank that Twilight managed to not cringe at, even as she made a mental note to check if her shoulder was dislocated or not later. “So, I take it I’ll catch ya at the bar?”

“Oh, but Applejack, I need to iron out the details in…”

“No buts,” the earth pony frowned as she gently shoved Twilight’s shoulder. “You said it yourself. You realize you’ve got a problem. Now, what’re you gonna do t’fix it?”

Twilight was quiet for a while, staying quiet even as the tears renewed themselves on her face and a few silent sobs hitched in her throat. “I’m so worried about them, AJ,” she whispered as the tears pattered onto the metal. “So, so worried. You saw those changelings. You saw what they’ve done. What if they…”

“Husshhhh,” Applejack pulled her in for a hug, patting the back of her head comfortingly. “It ain’t nothin’ they can’t handle. Whatever those bugs’re doing to those girls, we’ll make sure they pay fer it. Aight?”

Nodding, Twilight allowed herself to be led back up the steps, through the office door, and across the filthy tile to the bar. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and the barkeep’s loud chatter stopped as they approached and Twilight slid onto a barstool (really an overturned hazardous waste bucket) and offered a tiny smile to the others.

Rainbow returned the smile. “Hey egghead,” she said, holding up a glass of something that looked like Drano mixed with shaving cream. “Care for a drink?”

“So worried…” Twilight sniffled as she plopped down on an overturned garbage can.

“No worries darling, we’ll fix it,” Rarity cooed, fluttering her eyelashes even as an icy tone overtook her voice. “I care not for the number of changelings we must go through, whatever those ‘Bait and Switch’ brutes have done to our friends, we’ll fix it.”

Bait woke up with the taste of bubblegum on his tongue and the scent of cotton candy in his nose. He breathed more of it in. For some reason, it felt like one of the more pleasant smells he’d ever taken in, though he’d never liked bubblegum before. This morning, the scent of it filled his chest with a warming glow that spread all over his chitin.

And then, a pink hoof filled his vision, followed by a light little snore that was occasionally interrupted with a sound not too unlike a jackhammer breaking through the world’s stalest Rice Krispie treat. The last night came flooding back, and his eyes bolted wide open, the sleepiness flying away as quickly as it had come the night before. Warm, pink curls of mane greeted him. His heart raced. Oh no… “Pinkie?” He asked tentatively.

To his horror, the pink bundle of mane replied: “Yesss~?”

He winced, teeth clenching. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Of all the things a guard was not allowed to do with his charge, this had to be in the top five, somewhere around “street racing,” “going to the shooting range,” and “touring munitions factories.”

“Ahh!” He gasped, pushing himself off and backing away rapidly. Pinkie bolted awake in an instant, and as she sat up relief gushed through his mind at the sight of the small, green rock still secured between her shoulder blades. Finally, she turned over in bed, and while the sight of those gorgeous baby blues was some relief, it didn’t slow Bait’s breathing any.

“Baity?” She asked. “What’s up?”

“N-nothing!” He gasped. “I…oh sweet Chrysalis, do you have any idea what we’ve done!?”

“Of course I do!” She laughed with that adorable giggle-snort. “I am a grown mare, you know! It’s been years since I needed The Talk!”

“No! That’s not what I meant!” He pressed his hooves into his eyes. “Pinkie, don’t you understand how absolutely not-okay what we just did was!? We’re on opposite sides of a war! In what scenario would it be okay for us to have sex!?”

“Bait, you scrounged up a condom if you’re worried about…”

“I’m not worried about that!” He screamed, then backtracked, slamming himself in the face with his own hoof. “I mean, yeah, I am worried about…oh, why did you let me do this!? Why!?”

“Dude, calm down!” She insisted, pulling in close to him. All at once, her pink, fuzzy coat was pressed to his shell, which did nothing to calm his racing heart. “Listen, it was just one night, okay? It doesn’t hafta leave this room, and it doesn’t hafta mean more than that.”

While that did calm him down, Bait’s heart gave a slight twist. “J-just one night?”

“Mmh-hmm!” She bubbled, mistaking his sinking heart for growing calm. “That’s all! I, an adult, found you attractive. You, another adult, thought the same about me, and that’s all there is to it. It never has t’leave this room or anything! It was just a quick one-night thing between two mature, consenting adults, that’s all!”

Again, while that took the edge off his anxiety, Bait couldn’t help but feel a small barb twist in his heart with every word that passed from her muzzle. “Oh,” he whispered. “Oh, I thought…”

“Don’t worry about it, it was nothing!” She insisted, obliviously giving him one last nuzzle before rolling out of bed. “I’m gonna go start today’s batter, you’ll help as always, and that’s all! Business as usual!”

“Yeah,” he replied vacantly. “Business as usual…”

She looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow as she reached into the boudoir and pulled out her pink, frilly “Clop the Chef” apron. “Something wrong?”

“No, I…” he sighed. “I think I just need a little more time in bed, that’s all.”

“After the beating you took, no wonder!” She laughed, hopping up to the side of the bed with that wonderful little giggle. She peeked through the covers at him, her warm smile lighting up his tiny, little space within the blankets. He tried to return the smile, but for some reason it didn’t feel right on his face, though she didn’t seem to notice. “Hurry up, you big, sexy lovebug.~”

His smile finally gained just a trace of authenticity. “Sure thing, my bubbly little balloon butt.”

She giggled and skipped away, her pink mane bobbing around the corner and out of sight, obviously in search of the kitchen. Bait sighed and gazed up at the ceiling of the little room they’d commandeered for the night. “Just a one-night stand,” he moaned. “Sure Pinkie…whatever you want…”

Chapter XXXIV: The General's Progress

Chickit looked down at the pair of stallions shivering beneath his gaze. He repressed the urge to sigh audibly. The things he had to deal with…

He scoffed, adjusting himself in his seat. He’d known that the number of changelings brought in via court martial would be low, but the pickings had turned out to be so slim…and distasteful. He’d hoped at least a few stallions with fire in their hearts would have gotten themselves written up for reckless endangerment or for breaking a superior officer’s leg in a drunken bar fight, but no, he was left with these two. A couple of bullies well known for their cowardice in battle. Rapist bullies, no less. Well, attempted rape, at least. He wasn’t sure if failing at their crimes made things better or worse, and at the moment, he didn’t really care.

“So, tried to rape the caretaker of the nursery, eh?” He shook his head, earning a cringe from one of the shackled changelings kneeling before him. “Isn’t she one of the Element Bearers? High-profile, Very Important Prisoner type? How’d that work for ya?”

“Sir,” one of the stallions mewled pathetically. “We can explain, we were only trying to…”

“Can it,” Chickit hissed as the Praetorian guardstallions he’d been waiting for finally arrived. “The less you say right now, the better.”

Both changelings winced and fell silent. Chickit sighed as their shackles were linked up to a length of chain and secured to a few of his Praetorians’ armored harnesses, making an effective leash. “Now, up,” he commanded. Both obeyed. “Walk.” Again, total obedience, neither meeting the High-General’s eye as they were led away. Well, they can follow orders, can’t fault ‘em for that, the General scoffed.

The small train, consisting of the two chained stallions, five Praetorians, and the High-General himself, made its way through the dungeons beneath the Crystal Palace, passing Luna’s cell without so much as a glance at the high-security chrysalis holding her. No, they were on a mission, and they hustled their prisoners through the dungeons, passing scores of spear-wielding guards who usually couldn’t be bothered to spare them a passing look.

Eventually, they reached a dark, isolated corner of the dungeons. This was quite a feat for a corner, as most every corner of your average dungeon qualified as dark and isolated, the Crystal Dungeons being no exception; but this corner somehow managed to come across as even darker and more lonesome. It made the prisoners shiver, rattling their chains.

Chickit grinned back at the pair. “Welcome to Sombra’s oubliette, are either of you familiar with that term?”

Unsurprisingly, the prisoners shook their quaking heads.

Grinning wickedly, Chickit knocked hard on the ground: once, twice, and three times. A rectangle appeared in the crystalline floor, which Chickit pulled up to reveal a pitch-dark hole. “An oubliette is something employed by the greatest of kings against their most hated prisoners,” he explained, gazing into the deep darkness. The pair exchanged worried glances, not even noticing the Praetorians taking positions behind them. “You see, someone the late King Sombra really disliked would simply be thrown down here and left. Usually, there’s a water source nearby to keep them alive, but that’s it: the prisoner would simply be left there in the dark to die a long, slow death by starvation, with no contact from the outside at all.”

The prisoners’ eyes widened in shock and terror. One of them, Chickit hadn’t bothered to learn their names, turned and tried to run, but the massive Praetorians easily scooped him up in their magic and threw him into the hole. His wings and horn bound in goop, the prisoner had nothing to stop himself from plummeting like a rock, dragging his partner along after him.

“NO!” the second prisoner cried, his hooves scrabbling across the smooth crystal for any sort of purchase as his friend’s weight dragged him into the dark. “Please! Not like this! Please!”

“The Queen gave us orders that you be thrown in the oubliette,” Chickit replied, giving a helpful shove with his magic to hasten things along. “Orders are orders.”

The pair wailed as their tenuous grip gave way and they vanished into the darkness, landing with a couple hard thuds that came a second after disappearing into the darkness. The oubliette was not deep. It would defeat the purpose if the victims died on impact, after all.

Chickit and his Praetorians all exchanged grins and snickers. “How long this time?” The Praetorian directly across from him asked.

“Ohh, two hours, I say,” Chickit replied as he tapped his hoof again, sealing the entrance once more. “Maker knows they’ve earned it.”

The group continued in their shared chuckling as they trotted along, through the dungeons, through the palace, and back to the streets of the Crystal Empire. Immediately on hitting the streets, the chuckling subsided and the smiles turned to serious glares. They all scattered off in pairs, like squads being sent on patrol, with Chickit heading off by himself.

Today, he took his time returning to the hideout. He’d said two hours, and he’d meant it. After all, he hardly had reason to hurry back. Why, he might kill two birds with one stone out here.

Donning a disguise (a red-coated pegasus with a black mane, one of the standard guises he’d established with his forces), he rushed along the streets, expertly dodging Chrysalis’s patrols. Not that it was necessary: it’s just that if they saw him, he’d have to cower and shake in fear, and the future leader of the changeling swarm on the eve of its greatest campaign ever should not have to cower for anyone. He ducked and weaved through the regular army patrols, slipping through the blind spots he knew were there, falling through the cracks he’d personally engineered. He popped out of an alleyway across the street from his target, almost stumbling right into a couple of his Praetorian guards. For these, he cocked a smile and let a tiny burst of green flame appear in his eyes. Both Praetorians grinned back and continued on their way while he slunk across the street, keeping his head down.

Finally, he arrived at his target’s front doorstep: a nice little café, very out of the way and run by a mare he happened to know had no family. Said mare rushed to the front step as he approached, a worried hoof pressed to her face. “Oh my, you almost cut off a couple of them,” she gasped, her blonde mane quivering with every shaky motion. He suppressed a grimace. She spied a couple of the enemy across the street and immediately fell into conniptions? Pathetic. That Chrysalis had been defeated by such a weak race was just another example of her ineptitude. “Are you alright?”

Chickit let out a long, melodramatic breath. “N-never better…are you open?”

The mare smiled warmly and urged him inside. “How about we get you a free appetizer, too? We have a petunia salad that’s been rated as the best in the Empire!”

He grinned even as he cringed inwardly. Petunia salad? How did ponies eat like that!? “That’s very generous, miss, but I can’t accept that...”

“Oh, no really, it’s on the house,” she insisted, beaming enthusiastically.

He smiled back. “Well now, how can I say no to such a pretty face?”

The mare flushed instantly, huffing as she suddenly averted her eyes, though not without a little smile. “I-I’ll get that right out, sir,” she said quickly, rushing towards the kitchen.

Chickit smiled as he took his place at one of the tables. This was going to be easy.

Through sheer force of will, he managed to choke down the meal, while thanking every star that changeling stomachs allowed them to adapt to a variety of diets, even if maintaining this disguise meant a few extra hours in the bathroom later. All the while, he chatted up the mare, earning another little blush with every compliment, every thinly-veiled attempt at bedroom eyes. Finally, near the end of the meal, he went for the kill.

“Miss Lilac, this meal has been fantastic,” he said, recalling her name from early in the conversation. He leaned forward in his seat, gazing into her eyes. “I really must thank you, it was just the thing to help me recover from that awful encounter with those guards.”

That blush again. Seriously, how did this mare function if something so simple got her all flustered? “Thank you, it was the least I could do, though.”

“You simply must let me pay you back,” he said with a wink. “Perhaps, since you provided me with such a fine meal, I could return the favor? Say…my place?”

The blush reached the heat of the sky just before sunset. “Y-you don’t have to…”

“No, I don’t,” he replied, leaning forward and laying his hoof on hers. “I want to.”

“I…oh gosh, with the changeling occupation…I don’t know…”

“Think of it as striking back at the changelings,” he insisted. “Getting a little bit of our normal lives back from them. So, what do you say?”

When he walked out of the café, he held a scrap of paper with a name and the address of a nice, neutral, public space for them to meet. Unfortunately, said public space was just a few hundred yards away from the entrance to a network of alleys and hidden tunnels that led directly to Chickit’s hideaway, but Lilac Dreams couldn’t have known that, now could she? And because of her ignorance, by this time tomorrow she would be in one of the growing number of cocoons totally under the control of himself and his forces.

Chickit looked up at one of the city’s many clocktowers. Enough time had passed.

Once again, he ducked into a nearby alleyway and rocketed along, close to the ground, far below anypony’s or anyling’s notice. Even with his scarlet coat, he was barely a rushing shadow: weaving through alleyways, dodging trash and various puddles. At one point, some vagrant rummaging in a dumpster suffered the misfortune of being in his path, and he had a bit of fun by transforming his hooves back to his changeling form, using those hooves to grip the wall and run along it, then nimbly leaping off the dumpster’s lid and landing on the ground, dashing off as he heard the clang of the lid crashing back down, followed by the loud curses of the hapless bum.

Still snickering, he approached the entrance to his lair. The low, squat building which, by all accounts, appeared abandoned nonetheless sported a relatively-new door. Of course, this door was also under a dozen alarm spells to detect a breach in any way, shape, or form, but no one could know that unless they were practically on top of it.

He finally paused before the door and gave the knock: three scrapes with a hoof, then three quick taps, then two scrapes with four taps. A moment later, the door creaked open and he darted inside, slamming the door shut behind him and stepping into the pre-made circle of magic lying just inside.

As the magic in the circle burnt away his disguise, the Praetorians hiding just inside the door instantly dropped the spears they’d had levelled on him and saluted. “High General, sir!” They announced.

“At ease,” he said passively, pulling the little scrap of paper out from under his carapace, beneath his wings. “This is a pony and a place. Tomorrow evening at six on the dot, the pony will be expecting a stallion with Muscular Build #4, Cutie Mark #7, and Color Scheme #8 to be at the place. I trust you know what to do?”

A Praetorian dropped his hoof just long enough to snatch the paper up, bringing his hoof right back to his brow. “Sir, yes sir!”

Nodding his approval, Chickit stalked into the darkness of his Headquarters. As he watched, Praetorians paused and saluted him. He nodded to each and passed by, secure in the knowledge that the hooves would not drop until he was out of sight.

When he reached the back room, the Praetorians he’d left the palace with were already waiting for him, leaning against walls, joking around. They all bolted to their hooves and saluted, stopping mid-conversation while relaxed smiles were replaced with stoic frowns all around.

“At ease!” Chickit barked, and grinned as the hooves all dropped at the same time, broad, chitin-covered chests still thrust out. As he looked around, the grin spread to the soldiers around him. “Well then, let’s go meet the new recruits, shall we?”

A round of snickers made its way around the small group as the changelings stepped into the next room, then immediately spread their wings and fluttered down into a network of tunnels. They bobbed and weaved in the dark, a combination of practice and night vision keeping them from any collisions. Before long, the tunnels evened out, became more crystalline, and eventually they started passing their personal crews working to add more branches to the already-extensive network dug beneath the city. Soon, the crystalline walls grew dark and they reached an area more narrow and roughly-hewn than the other parts of the network. Chickit descended back to the ground, his hooves barely making a sound as the Praetorians followed suit, walking along behind him. The group silently cut across to a series of small rooms, branching off a tiny main hallway.

Peering through the darkness, his eyes glowing, Chickit asked: “Cell 14, right?”

“Correct, sir,” one of the Praetorians replied.

Nodding, Chickit walked along the little hall before making a sharp turn into one of the rooms. He peered around to the Praetorians standing at his back, who all immediately twisted slightly, revealing scabbards holding the short daggers they all carried for close quarters. Nodding again, Chickit’s horn ignited in the darkness and shot a quick bolt up into the low ceiling, and a massive rock slid away and gently lowered to the ground.

One of the Praetorians swooped past him and stuck his head up. His eyes narrowed in the dark. “Clear!” He announced, and immediately Chickit and another Praetorian swooped up after him, the first Praetorian pulling himself up to make room for them.

In the darkness, the three changelings could just barely make out their surroundings, even with their enhanced night vision: a trickle of water here, a particularly smooth stone marred with scratch marks there, and two changelings lying against one of the far walls, wings and horns still bound, sitting as far away from each other as the shackles still locked around their fetlocks would allow.

Chickit grinned at the pair. “Evenin’, boys. Fancy meeting you here.”

“Sir?” One of the prisoners stood, trembling so hard it was even visible in the darkness. “Sir, what…what is this?”

Chickit suppressed a grimace as one of his Praetorians stepped forward with a key ring in his grasp. “Let’s just say you two have just been recruited for some…’special operations’.”

“Spec ops?” One of the pair gasped as the Praetorian unlocked the shackles around his hooves. “Y-you mean it!? Y-you’re not gonna leave us here to die!?”

“No, Private,” Chickit chuckled. “That was just a test, and you boys passed with flying colors! You’re gonna get to take part in a very special project I’ve had cooking for a while, one not even the Queen is aware of.”

“Oh, wow,” one of the changelings whistled. “Sir, that’s…that’s great! Uhh…I don’t think…we’ve never had Praetorian training or anything like that before, though, so I don’t know what we can do for you…”

“Well shit, if you didn’t want the job,” Chickit said with a passive wave of his hoof. Immediately, the Praetorian with the key ring locked one shackle back around the prisoner’s hoof, darting low to reattach the chains he’d just removed.

“Wait, sir! Wait! Sorry!” Gasped the prisoner, holding his hooves out as far as the chains would allow. “We meant no disrespect! We’ll take the job! We’ll do whatever you want us to do! We’ll be your most loyal troopers, promise!”

Chickit glared evenly at the pair, eyes narrowing as if appraising their sincerity. Both changelings shivered and gulped, trying their best to meet his eye while the Praetorian stood by, eyes locked on Chickit, key ring frozen in midair. The pair whimpered and lowered their gazes, but then a wide grin spread across Chickit’s face. “That’s just the sort of can-do attitude I wanted to hear!” He announced happily as his Praetorian swiftly unlocked the remaining shackles. The pair sighed in relief, exchanging nervous grins as the shackles were tossed into the dark and the goop coating their wings was released. They stood there, pointedly staring at their horns as the Praetorians returned to Chickit’s side.

“Oh, didn’t you know? The stuff they use to secure magic is way tougher, we’ll need our specialists back at base to handle that,” Chickit said with a passive shrug and a chortle, as if to say ‘Goshdarnit, what can ya do?’ “Your wings are all you need right now.”

“O-of course…I knew that,” one of the changelings chortled, fanning his wings.

“You guys go on ahead, stick close to me,” Chickit said, cocking his head at the hole he’d entered through. “My Praetorians will protect our asses that way.”

“Y-yes sir!” The prisoners chorused happily, making for the gaping hole as if it were a single oasis in the middle of a scorching desert. Chickit grinned watching them go, wings buzzing with excitement. They hadn’t noticed that this positioning put his stallions behind the prisoners, ensuring there’d be no way to go but forward to wherever Chickit wanted them.

The group returned the way it came, Chickit personally replacing the rock where he’d found it to where it was totally seamless, undetectable to anyone from inside the oubliette. He joined the rest of the group, keeping the prisoners in sight as they fanned their wings and took off, bumbling along with half the care of his Praetorians. Without their experience, it took nearly twice as long to return to the hideout, but Chickit didn’t mind. There was no rush on this part.

Finally, he spied the familiar, eerie green glow in the distant dark, and while the prisoners hesitated and slowed in their flight, the Praetorians pressing from behind and urged them forward. “S-sir?” One of the prisoners mewled. “If it’s okay for me to ask, what is that glowing up ahead?”

Chickit pasted a grin on his face, one that exposed far too many teeth, including all four of his impressive incisors. “Y’know the communal gathering ponds Chrysalis established under the Palace to harvest the Empire’s love?”

The prisoner nodded, then after a few moment’s more than Chickit would have liked, his eyes darted wide open. “Sir…you!? You have one too!?”

Chickit maintained the grin and returned the nod. “For what we got planned, we’re gonna need a lot of love.”

The group flittered to a stop, pressing through a large wooden door where the glow was just barely contained. Instantly, the entire hallway was bathed in the glow, and the prisoners’ jaws dropped. Before them was a massive cavern that towered over their heads, containing a pool that looked like it could comfortably host the Equestria Games’ swim matches, with enough room leftover for a whale aquarium. A path circled the entire room, around which were dozens of cocoons holding the vague outlines of pony-shaped shadows. Unlike most changeling holding cocoons though, these had a series of tubes at their base which occasionally belched a run of green fluid into the pool.

“I-I recognize those,” one prisoner gasped. “I saw them in a book once a long time ago…that’s an interval-based extraction unit.”

“Good eye, private,” Chickit cooed as he walked to one of the cocoons. He held up the end of one of the flexible, fleshy tubes, giving it a pinch in his magic. A moment later, more of the green fluid oozed out over the floor, flowing towards the pool. After a few seconds, the pony-like shadow inside writhed and struggled within its prison, then suddenly went limp again as the fluid grew a paler green. After a while, it flowed completely white, and Chickit released it and motioned to his Praetorians. The massive stallions nodded, then drew their daggers, slicing neatly through the moorings holding the cocoon to the wall and hoisting it up on their shoulders, holding it just long enough to drop it right into the ooze bubbling away before them.

The prisoners watched, ears folding back. “F-funny,” one of them mused, “I don’t remember seeing anything like these back in the Hive.”

“They were outlawed years ago,” Chickit explained passively. “Apparently, wringing every last drop of love from a pony all at once was considered too inefficient in the long run, given that you get one long burst of love before the pony dies, though that’s not the real reason they were discontinued. The real reason is that Chrysalis is a soft-hearted fool who is unable to use every tool at her disposal, even when it is the perfect intimidation tactic against the enemy.”

The changelings shivered, but nodded enthusiastically, like good little lapdogs. This time, Chickit did not bother to disguise the distaste on his face. He waited until the enthusiastic nods petered off, then grinned. “You boys are brighter than you look,” he cooed mockingly.

The first prisoner nodded. “Sir, what did you bring us down here to do?”

“Well see, if I’m going to take on Chrysalis, I’m going to need a lot of love,” Chickit replied, ignoring the flabbergasted stares to look passively at a bit of fractured chitin on his hoof. “Not only to add to my own strength, but to formulate a few surprises capable of levelling the playing field. To get that love, and fast, I’m gonna need to find out a few things.”

“Like what?” One of the prisoners asked, unaware of the trio of guards forming a wall behind him.

“Which is more efficient for extracting love from undesirables: these cocoons, or slicing the Trapezian structure?” Chickit asked.

The prisoners stared at him with arched eyebrows. “But sir, the Trapezian structure isn’t on ponies, it’s what carries love in change--”

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence before a dagger blade slid effortlessly along the side of his neck, making a single incision. He gasped and whirled around to see the Praetorian standing there passively, a stopwatch ticking away in his hoof. Then he tripped, falling flat on his back. His hooves clawed fruitlessly at his neck as the green fluid flowed out of his body, bathing the ground beneath him and flowing into the pool. His partner watched, jaw hanging wide open as the changeling wheezed and struggled, trying to sit up, only to be pressed back down to the ground by the general himself. Then two powerful sets of hooves clamped on the remaining prisoner’s shoulders.

“No!” He exclaimed, trying to fire off a bolt, only remembering the glop on his horn suppressing his magic when it was already too late. He was lifted bodily by the changeling pair and hoisted, still kicking and screaming, into one of the vacant pods. The moment they dropped him inside, the pod let off a satisfied smack as its lips sealed the opening around him. His struggles were muffled immediately as fluid filled the pod, and then they too slowly faded away as his body went limp and floated.

On the ground, the first prisoner had stopped moving, the green fluid ebbing to a light trickle. Eventually, Chickit grimaced and hoisted him over the pool with his magic, shaking him up and down like someone with a stubborn ketchup bottle. When a few moments passed without any more dribbles, he dropped the body and turned to the Praetorian hammering the stop button on his stopwatch, not even watching the corpse splash down.

“Five minutes, sixteen seconds,” the Praetorian said, producing a small notepad and jotting down the number.

Chickit frowned. “I was hoping for something closer to four.”

“Once we get Praetorians better trained on extraction, that number should be more realistic, sir,” the Praetorian replied. “Engineering is reporting a change in love levels by 0.68 Thoracians.”

Chickit pondered that number. “Alright, not bad. At least these boys weren’t skimming off the communal supplies on top of everything else.”

“Yes, but the scanners report he had a total of 0.83 Thoracians when he walked into this room. That’s a loss of nearly 18%!”

Chickit grimaced and scratched his chin. “18? And we already know the cocoons can get it all…damnation,” he let out a long-suffering sigh. “Alright, get the other one’s cocoon started and time how long it takes to wrench it all free. Maybe the time saved is worth the loss, maybe not, let’s reserve judgment for when all the numbers are in.”

“Of course, sir,” the Praetorian nodded and trotted over to the cocoon, restarting his stopwatch while running a hoof along the extraction tubes. There was a quiver, a belching sound, and finally more green fluid started flowing out. After a while, a series of struggles renewed from within the cocoon, accompanied with loud cries of agony.

“Report to me with all the final figures within the hour,” Chickit instructed. “I also want our moles within the dungeons to maintain their positions.”

The Praetorian looked over at Chickit with a blank expression on his face. “Sir, if you don’t mind my asking, for what purpose?”

“Well, science is all about repeatable results,” Chickit replied with that toothy grin. “Isn’t it?”

Chapter XXXV: Resources For The Deserving

Though she was merely granting resources to a deserving soldier, Chrysalis couldn’t help but feel she was draping a medal around Bait’s neck. The way he beamed as he followed through the paperwork needed to grant him an investigative squad sure added to the feeling. She had to fight hard to keep that contagious little grin from spreading to her own muzzle.

“Bait of the Changeling Swarm,” she finally intoned. The small changeling stood at attention, saluting her. She pressed a small scroll into his hoof. “This is a task I would entrust to few other changelings. You and a group of your choosing are to find these traitors who have attacked my subjects and root them out. You are to do this with maximum expediency and with all effort. The royal decree you have been presented with is a sign of my trust: it grants you the powers given to all Internal Affairs investigators and grants you the ability to question anyone, detain anyone, and go anywhere required for you and your squad to root out these traitors and secure the safety of the Changeling Swarm.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He announced, the goofy grin reappearing as he tucked the scroll away along the edge of one of his holes. Nodding, Chrysalis finally rested a hoof on his shoulder. He straightened himself, gazing up at her in surprise. “Ma’am?”

She took in a deep breath. “From one changeling to another, soldier,” she said. “I’m sorry this is what it took for me to believe you. Your record alone should have validated your claims; you shouldn’t have almost needed to die for action to be taken.”

At this, the smile faded as a neon-green blush rose on his cheeks. “I...it’s alright, your highness,” he sighed. “I’m used to it.”

“One with your talents shouldn’t be so used to being ridiculed.” She replied, taking a step back.

He grinned at that, keeping his gaze to the side. “Actually, your majesty, I was referring to almost dying.”

She blinked, then she rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, you are the ultimate badass. Commander Nilex of the battle for Griffonstone reincarnated.” She straightened up as he did the same. “Now do you have a selection for your investigative squad?”

“Actually, your Majesty, I have just one,” he replied.

“Hm, I wonder who that could be,” she grunted as he grinned up at her. “Go, then,” she pointed off, back to the doors leading into the throne room. “May the spirits of the royals passed be with you in your journey for the truth!”

With a final salute, Bait buzzed up and swooped out of the room. Chrysalis stood and descended from the Crystal Throne. That had been her last meetup of the morning, and she’d engineered a fifteen minute break at this time before she was due to take a quick trip to the Crystal Heart and get an update on progress there. It’d been tricky to work out just the right schedule, but she found a little walk was just what she needed before she started making her rounds for various status updates, and then plopped into the chair behind Shining Armor’s old desk to round out the day with paperwork. Of course, the guards of the throne room fell in at her flanks to continue their duty, but she had long learned to ignore them. The tapping of their armored hooves on the marble floor became so much white noise. Mesmerizing, almost, even as she stepped out into the hall. Especially the way it echoed in the vaulted, crystalline ceilings. So...soothing.

…

Ten minutes later, Chrysalis blinked, looked around, and realized she had no idea where she was or what she was doing. The impeccably-polished, shimmering, crystal hallway looked like every other impeccably-polished, shimmering, crystal hallway. Trying not to look confused to the guards at her sides, she peered to her left out the corner of her eye, then to her right. She peeked as far around her as she could without moving her head. Nothing looked familiar: just an endless parade of crystal doors stretching as far as she could see.

Dangit.

She suppressed a moan of displeasure. She only had five minutes until she was supposed to be moving on with her schedule, for pity’s sake! She didn’t have time for this! Ugh, but she didn’t need her guards to know she’d gotten lost in her own castle.

Gazing around, her eyes fell on a door with a familiar shape: arched overhead, with a heavy wooden frame to prevent breaking in from the outside. A balcony! Perfect! With an outside view, she could get her bearings while pretending to admire the city! Smiling slightly at her own genius, she strutted purposefully to the door, pressed it open…

...and the last pony in the world that she wanted to see was standing there, her head up on the railing as she gazed out over the city far below. For a split second Chrysalis thought – hoped – that she could just trot back out, close the door quietly behind her, and pretend this didn’t just happen. Then Luna turned around, her gorgeous, night-blue eyes meeting Chrysalis’s own, and those hopes vanished.

Another few minutes passed where neither of them talked. Finally, Luna managed a quick: “Hi.”

Chrysalis let out a long-suffering sigh. Oh goodie. Awkward small talk. She debated just throwing herself over the railing before remembering that at her current power levels, this likely wouldn’t kill her. “Hi.” She eventually managed.

Another few minutes of awkward silence. Maybe Chrysalis could just dive-bomb right over the edge...if she moved fast enough, she might still do lasting damage…

“It’s a...great view,” Luna continued.

Chrysalis nodded. “Yes, I’m aware.” She finally said. “It’s morning, shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“We have slept enough in yon pod, we yearned for fresh air.”

“Oh.”

For a long while, the pair simply stood there, basking in the warm midday glow of the sun, both obviously searching for words just to come up empty.

“We mean...it is a really great view.” Luna finally said.

Nope. Not playing the awkward small talk game twice with the same pony. Chrysalis just snorted, turning away from the balcony, away from the railing, away from the exotic and beautiful pony that had been the first Equestrian to hear a real conversation about her past, and away from…

From nothing. Nothing at all left for her. She just had to keep telling herself that until she believed it.

“Chrysalis?” Luna gasped behind her. The Queen heard her hooves drop to the tiled floor. “Chrysalis, wait!”

“The Swarm obeys no pony,” Chrysalis responded coldly as she trotted back to the door.

“Chrysalis, I’m...I’m...” Luna gasped. “I’m sorry!”

Chrysalis stopped. She heaved in a long breath. She turned to Luna with an eyebrow quirked. “Sorry? Whatever for?”

“For...lying,” Luna said. “For trying to use you the way I did.”

Another derisive snort left Chrysalis’s muzzle. “Nothing to apologize for, Princess,” she responded. “I would try to do the same if I were in your situation. In fact, it’s rather changeling-like.”

“It still wasn’t fair of us to...you know...” Luna said, her wings bristling at the changeling comment.

Again, Chrysalis heaved a long sigh. “As I said last night, life isn’t fair, princess.” Chrysalis replied.

Another long pause followed, but now only because the pair couldn’t find it in themselves to pierce it, until Luna finally said: “Dinner will be….lonely...”

Chrysalis tried to will her hooves forward, tried to force herself on, to just ignore the stupid, manipulative, idiotic, beautiful, sympathetic, little pony princess behind her, but found she couldn’t. In the end, she knew there was only one way she was going to be able to leave this balcony under her own power. Ugh, but no! This was for her changelings! She couldn’t risk them here by allowing herself to fall even further under the princess’s charms!

Unless…

A predatory grin spread across her muzzle. She could just dish out the same crap the princess had been serving these past few nights. Ohhhohohohoho, princess! She had no idea what was coming!

“Six’o’clock sharp, don’t be late,” Chrysalis said, glad she was still turned towards the door so Luna couldn’t see the fang-filled smile curling her lips.

“I...thank you,” Luna said, inclining her head towards Chrysalis.

Don’t thank me yet, princess, Chrysalis wanted to say, perhaps while kneading her hooves together wickedly, but she contented herself with stepping out of the balcony without so much as a glance over her shoulder. She did, however, allow herself a slight chortle as she trotted down the hallway. At least, until she remembered why she’d gone out on the balcony in the first place.

Cursing herself for becoming so scatterbrained, Chrysalis started her journey back down the hall, hoping to make it back to her desk at least before the afternoon’s open court.

Bait was stealth incarnate. The epitome of all that an Infiltrator could be. He was the beginning and the end as he crept from one cabinet to the next. He was darkness. He was vengeance. He was…

“Baity?” Pinkie’s voice chimed from the other side of the cabinet door. “When you’re done messing around in there, you can come out and have some cookies. But none from the black tray, okay? Those’re for Chryssie.”

Cursing, Bait rolled out of the cabinet, letting out a breath. “How’d you know I was in there?”

“Pinkie sense!” Pinkie giggled, sliding a tray full of cookies into a burning oven. “Besides, I could hear your tummy growling from way over here. You shouldn’t have skipped breakfast!”

Adding some grumbling to the cursing, Bait picked himself up off the floor. He knew he shouldn’t have skipped breakfast, she’d made it herself after all, but after that morning…

After that morning…

Ugh, there went his appetite again. One twist of his stomach and that was it. Well, maybe he could choke down a cookie or two. For her.

Pasting on a grin, he reached to one of the trays (making sure it was not the black one, of course) and popped a couple white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies into his mouth, giving Pinkie a crumb-and-fang-filled smile that she giggled at.

“You goof!” She laughed. “You got crumbs everywhere but your mouth!”

“Wha…oh.” He laughed in response, wiping all around his mouth. “My bad.”

“S’alright,” she giggled. “Just means you’re enjoying yourself, is all.”

Bait smiled at her. A real, genuine smile, the type breaking out on his face only too often whenever she was around. “Pinkie, I...just...thank you.”

She tilted her head adorably. “For what?”

“For believing in me, even when my own queen didn’t. You pushed me forward when my own partner would’ve called me crazy, and thanks to you, I finally have a chance to prove that one of my ‘crazy theories’ is right.”

She let out that wonderful little giggle-snort again. “No prob, bob! But um...Baity?”

“Yeah?” He breathed.

“I know we’re kinda having a heartfelt moment, but you can let go of my hoof now.”

Surprised, he looked down to discover his hoof was, indeed, wrapped around hers, little pink tufts of fur poking up out of the holes in his leg. He released her slowly, carefully letting her hoof down on the table. “I just...umm…”

“Aheh...” she giggled again, awkwardly.

“I’ll...go get started on my investigation.” He said, turning towards the door.

“Okay...but Bait?”

He whipped around, ready to hear anything she might have to confess to him just then, anything at all. “Yeah?”

Smiling, she proffered a small, pink bag, dripping glitter and confetti and covered in more pink hearts than a drugstore’s Hearts and Hooves Day display. “Don’t forget your lunch. I made it myself.”

“Wha-oh!” He gasped, taking the bag in his hooves as carefully as if it were a shard of the Crystal Heart itself, and not a small paper bag stuffed with sugar. “Oh jeez, Pinkie, you didn’t have to do that.”

“No, but...I wanted to,” she giggled, and Chrysalis above, was that a blush on her cheeks!? No...no, he had to be imagining that. “Now, get goin’, okay? And don’t be late for my check-in tonight!”

“O-okay! I won’t!” He gasped, whipping around to dash out the door before the trembling in his hooves kept him from leaving the kitchen. Distracting himself, he turned his mind to the task ahead. He would have a long while to go before he cracked whatever this pony-smuggling ring was up to, but he’d get it, or his name wasn’t Bait!

And back in the kitchen, Pinkie kept her smile up long enough to know she had been left alone. She sighed and fell back against the counter. “Alone at last...” she whispered.

In a flash, she darted back to the massive pile of flour she’d encountered on her first day. They hadn’t gone through most of it, so it was still a sizable mountain. Still, she scaled it in an instant, pulling up her Pinkie-flag. She smiled down at it, then flipped it over in her hooves, breathing over its back. In a flash, a series of schematics appeared on the felt surface, invisible ink detailing a large, complex machine filled with pulleys, structured legs, and a large pilot’s chair.

Grinning, she promptly dropped in through a crack between a couple of sacks, weaving down into the pile’s heart, where a small cavern only she knew about waited for her. It hadn’t been easy, creating all of this in the moments when Bait’s concentration lapsed, his focus worn down by a day in the kitchen trying to keep up with her, but now she had all the breathing room she needed to finish it.

At the heart of the chamber towered a dark shape, barely visible amidst the light that managed to filter in through the layers of sacks. Her grin wavered as she jammed a spoon into place on the machine, extending its frame just that much more. She was almost done. Soon, she’d be able to bust out of here, grab Flutters, and find their friends. That was a good thing, right?

So why didn’t it feel as good as it should have? Yes, she was definitely happy about seeing Twi and Rares and Flutters and Dashie and AJ again, but at the same time…

An image appeared in her head. One where she towered over Bait’s wounded form. He looked up at her, utter betrayal on his face, and she looked up and all her friends were around them. And for some reason, every single equine in the image chanted one word over and over again:

“Choose.”

She bit her lip. Tears welled in her eyes. “I’m sorry Baity,” she whispered, wiping at her nose with the back of her hoof. “I’m really, really sorry…”

“Our progress with the Heart is actually accelerating. We’re at 58% now, and it’s only expected to climb faster as the loop progresses.”

“Excellent. Keep me appraised and let me know the moment we hit 95.”

Twilight glared down at the small orb as it repeated the words her bug had recorded earlier. As Chrysalis’s voice drifted from it, her breathing rose, an angry blush rising on her face.

“...have kept their word, and the convoys have been coming in steady without hint of tampering.”

“Good to know Celestia can honor her word. Of course, if a single guardspony so much as sets hoof within the perimeter, you know what to do.”

“Of course, my Queen. Speaking of, what are your plans for the Princess?”

“Oh...I believe I shall keep my promise to her. For tonight.”

“Ahh...so another dinner then?”

“Indeed.”

A single pulse from Twilight’s horn stopped the recording. She met the eyes of the other mares, her head slowly scanning over their faces. The fact that nobody had pointed out they were using a bug to spy on bugs only highlighted Pinkie’s absence. “I don’t think I have to tell you how ominous this all sounds,” she said, tapping at the table, a long sigh heaving from her body.

“I say,” Rarity gasped, eventually breaking the silence. “What exactly do you suppose she meant by...’Dinner with the Princess’?”

“Nothin’ good, I’m sure,” Applejack grunted. “Prolly her way of talkin’ about drainin’ Luna.”

“Plus, there’s all that stuff about the Crystal Heart,” Rainbow put in. “What’s that all about?”

“Probably something evil and with the destruction of Equestria in mind,” Twilight replied, repeating Applejack’s sentiment. “Whatever we have planned, I think we need to move soon. Possibly even tonight.”

The mares all gasped. “Tonight!?” Rarity said, standing up from the table. “Twilight dear, I’m as eager to save our friends as any mare at this table, but isn’t this a little...rash?”

“I gotta agree with Rares here,” Applejack huffed. “We still ain’t got a plan fer bustin’ Luna outta the dungeons, an’ we don’t even know where Shinin’ and Cadence’re bein’ held!”

“And I say she’s right!” Rainbow bellowed, also standing up. “Honestly, I can’t believe we spent this long talkin’ about saving our friends instead of just going out there and doin’ it! We beat the changelings once, we can do it again!”

“Technically, Shining Armor and Cadence beat the changelings,” Rarity spat. “Need I remind you their love magic was the only thing that saved us in the end, and we don’t even know where to look for them!”

“So!? Even if we can’t find them, we gotta bust out Flutters and Pinkie!”

“Girls...” Twilight interjected.

“An’ what about the princess!? What if we do get Fluttershy and Pinkie out, but we can’t figure out gettin’ her free? What’ll Chrysalis do to her after we get outta there!?”

“Girls.”

“We’ll bust her out too! We have to!” Rainbow’s head swiveled wildly around. “Our closest friends are all stuck having Celestia-knows-what done to them, and all we’ve done about it is talk!”

“Girls!”

“Darling, I care deeply for our friends too, everypony here does; but that doesn’t mean we risk ourselves getting captured on a half-baked scheme when a few more days might be all we need to...”

Twilight’s hooves thundered on the table, her magically-amplified voice booming over the room: “GIRLS!”

The whole table fell silent. All eyes turned back to Twilight. In turn, she slowly slid back down into her seat. “This isn’t just about our friends, this is about time,” she said with a long sigh, whipping out the small orb once more. With another pulse of her horn, the changeling’s voice filled the room:

“...We’re at 58% now...”

Twilight’s horn pulsed, and the recording rewound and replayed, “...We’re at 58% now...”

One more time, “...We’re at 58% now...”

She tucked the orb away once more. “I’ve been going through the recordings again, focusing this time on all conversation about the Heart. A few days ago, Chrysalis started receiving daily reports about something referred to as ‘The Loop’, something that had to do with the Crystal Heart.” She intoned, her glare circling the table as she tucked her clenched hooves under her chin, tapping them nervously. “She has been receiving daily status updates on it: always just a percentage, always something she responds to with some thought and calculation.”

“Alright,” Applejack said, leaning back in her chair with her hooves crossed. “Well, 58% don’t sound too bad. That’s still a failure in school.”

“It doesn’t,” Twilight admitted. “Until you take into account that yesterday, it was at 24%. The day before, eleven. And the day before that, five.” She tented her hooves on the table and regarded each mare gravely. “Does anypony else see the pattern?”

Applejack and Rarity’s eyes bulged, their jaws dropping. Their salesmare’s minds didn’t need long to piece it together. “Doubling...” Rarity gasped in horror.

Twilight nodded. “A little bit more than doubling, in fact. So at 58%, whatever is being done to the Heart...”

“...will be all finished up tomorrow,” Applejack gasped.

Twilight nodded at her. “Tomorrow around midday, to be precise, if whatever they’re doing continues to hold to the mathematical model I plotted for it.” Her gaze once again met the eyes of the mares gathered around her. “Combine that with these ongoing ‘dinners’ with Luna, which I have to take as her siphoning off love, and we have a ticking time bomb on our hooves. I may not know what Chrysalis is doing with the Crystal Heart, but considering it’s an artifact steeped in the collective love of the crystal ponies, I think we can all assume the worst and figure that when it’s done she will be nigh-unstoppable.”

She let out a long, shivering breath. “I know it may seem short-sighted right now, and it is, believe me. Attacking Chrysalis right now would be one of the most short-sighted, idiotic things we could do. But the fact of the matter is we don’t have time to wait and come up with something better. We have to move with what little we have tonight, because tomorrow...”

“Tomorrow, Chrysalis will have whatever she needs from the Heart,” Rainbow said, eyes still wide.

Twilight nodded once more. “And after she has that...who knows? Could she take on Celestia? Defeat Equestria’s armies right here, single-hoofedly? March on Canterlot?” She shook her head. “We just don’t know.”

A moment of silence overtook the table. Finally, Applejack climbed down. “Welp, I’m gonna go get a little more practice with m’buckin’ in.” She announced.

“I’ll go line up the boys!” Rarity added, hopping away from the table. “They best be in tip-top shape if we’re going to be moving tonight!”

“I’ll join ya!” Rainbow said. “We’ll put ‘em through their paces and get some last-minute prep in!”

Twilight sighed, sinking into her chair. She smiled, grinning at the fact that not a single mare had backed down, but then, had she expected any different?

Already, Rarity and Rainbow were exchanging plans for last-minute training, and she wished she could join them. But she knew they already had her plans drawn up from nights spent laboring over hoof-drawn schematics. No, she had a decidedly less-pleasant task ahead of her.

“We need everypony we can get,” she whispered to herself as she tip-hoofed away, creeping up the stairs to the roof. “We need everypony we can get...”

As usual, Petalgrown hadn’t moved from her spot beneath the ragged canopy. Her mane stuck out in places, hanging in greasy tendrils from lack of maintenance, and bags quivered under her eyes. And still, Twilight kept her distance, not only out of respect for her emotional state, but just because every time she got any closer, her heart started racing. It was as if the rage growing in Petalgrown was a physical shield around her, preventing anypony from getting close.

Twilight cleared her throat. As usual, Petalgrown didn’t move. After sitting awkwardly for a few minutes, Twilight sighed. “We’re moving against the changelings tonight. I thought you might be interested in helping. We...kinda need everypony we can get here, and I know you’re in a serious state, but...”

“I’ll do it.”

Those three words were the first Twilight had heard from Petalgrown’s mouth since their first day together. She blinked, her eyebrows rising, then she finally processed what was said and pasted on a smile. “That’s….great! Thank you so much!”

“Maybe we’ll find Sprinkleshine there.”

Twilight’s smile faded, her heart dropping. “Petalgrown...” she said breathlessly. “You need to accept--”

Petalgrown turned, leveling a gaze upon her so filled with fire and rage Twilight was surprised she didn’t spontaneously combust. As it was, it took all her strength to keep from backing up a few steps. She let out a long, shivering breath. “Glad to have you on board,” she said quickly, turning to half-trot, half-gallop back down the steps.

Muzzle wrinkling, Petalgrown turned back to her vigil, gazing hatefully up at the sky. “I’ll save you, Sprinkles,” she whispered, a fire burning in her eyes and growing in her heart. “Even if Chrysalis herself stands in my way. I don’t care what that evil bug is planning, I will find you!”

Author's Notes:

Welp, there you go, another chapter after only a year or so.

God, I'm so sorry. I could make the usual excuses involving work and all that, but really it all came down to laziness combined with apathy. I had the time, but not the energy needed to continue. So sorry.

Anyway, we have definitely reached a climax of sorts, so I definitely think the next few chapters shouldn't be so hard to get out. Stay tuned, kids!

Chapter XXXVI: The Nursery Falls

If there was a way to paint the very concept of contentment, odds are that painting would resemble Fluttershy in the changeling nursery. The way she eased from cradle to cradle, coddling each hatchling to sleep before putting it to rest with a little kiss to the forehead flew in direct contradiction with the previous days of rushing between cradles like her life depended on it. Between this and the daycare, her love supplies were certainly taxed, but that didn’t change the fact that she was doing what she knew was right: caring for those she knew couldn’t care for themselves. Of course, the fact that she had a large stallion at her side who threw himself protectively over her if so much as a ladybug farted in her direction certainly helped.

“Switch!” She giggled. “I’m fine this time, promise!”

“I saw it! I saw it turn its butt right at you!” He said, still pinning her to the wall as his wings spread protectively around her. Behind them, perched atop the slimy lining of one of the cradles, sat a tiny ladybug. It tilted its head curiously.

“Hey, don’t gimme that look!” Switch turned from Fluttershy to level an accusing hoof at the bug. “You know what you were doing!”

“Switch please, you’re going to startle the foals!” Fluttershy whispered, picking up one of the hatchlings just as it began to stir.

“Ah…sorry, Flutters,” he sighed, lowering his head, though he shot a few more glares at the clueless ladybug out the corner of his eye. In lowering himself, he was now almost to Fluttershy’s eye level, but still he looked like a wounded puppy. “I…didn’t mean for any of that.”

“I know. But it’s okay because you’re sorry,” she said with a firm nod, tucking away the hatchling in her hooves. She sighed, gazing down at it contentedly, as Switch trotted up to her side.

“Y’know, I never really paid much attention to the hatchlings and nymphs until now,” he said, running a hoof absentmindedly over the edge of the goo-covered cradle.

“Oh, really?” Fluttershy asked, an ear perking as she turned to look at him.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d defend ‘em to the death if needed, but for the most part I left them in the capable hooves of the nurses, y’know?” He shrugged, his gaze still locked on the hatchling. “I didn’t really give much thought to ‘em. It’s kinda like that bat I found: I’d give a helping hoof if I saw one in need, but I wasn’t going out of my way to have them around. Now, I’m kinda wondering if I should be asking for more nursery duty.”

She tilted her head at him. “That’s quite a difference, what changed?”

At that, his ears folded back. He cringed as if struck, and finally, he lifted his gaze from the hatchling, meeting her eyes. “You.” He said quietly.

Her heart stopped for a moment when his pale eyes (or eye, more specifically) locked with hers. There was something more in them, far more, than she’d seen in the eyes of any other creature. Even the warm love of friendship she saw in her friends fell short of this.

“Switch…” she said, moving in close with the massive stallion.

Before either could figure out what they were doing, Switch had fanned a wing over her shoulders. The translucent, insect-like wing on most changelings had struck fear in her before, but Switch’s wing was different. Comforting. Like a safe blanket she’d pull over herself during a thunderstorm.

“Fluttershy…” he whispered back, the wing now physically curling around her, pulling her warm, soft, fuzzy body to his carapace. They gazed into each other now, looking at one another again, really looking. Their snouts were tantalizingly close. Warm breath washed over their faces. Switch’s eyes drifted shut. Fluttershy’s followed suit. They slowly closed in.

“Switch!” The door slammed open. “I got it!” Bait grinned obliviously, his wide smile not even flinching as every hatchling in the nursery went into full nuclear-meltdown mode.

“Ohmygoodness…” Fluttershy gasped, immediately slipping from under Switch’s wing to tend to the nearest hatchling, cooing gently as she rocked it.

Rage could not begin to describe what Switch felt in that moment. If somepony had slid in, riding his mother’s dead corpse, praising Sombra while masturbating into an underaged filly’s face, the hatred he’d feel then still might not have equaled the raw fury coursing through his body in that moment. If the hatchlings around him hadn’t been crying before, they certainly would have been sent into tears by the aura of hatred oozing from every inch of chitin on his body. Gritting his teeth, he turned to the happily-smiling little changeling standing at the door, one eye twitching, flames spurting randomly from his leg-holes while he trembled. In a few steps, he loomed over Bait.

“YeS, litTlE buDDy, LIttLe frieND, LiTtle pal Of MiNE!?” He asked.

“I got approved for my own private investigation squad!” Bait replied, still smiling.

In a flash, the red faded from Switch’s eyes. His legs stopped spurting flames. The little demons in his head telling him to crucify his friend returned to the hopeless pits from whence they came. “Yo, for real?” He gasped, eyes wide.

“Yeah, for real!” Bait replied.

Switch’s face lit up. “Holy crap, man! That’s great! Someone’s finally taking you seriously on this stuff!”

“Not just someone! The Queen herself approved it!”

“Holy crap, dude! Holy crap!”

“And,” at this, Bait moved in closer, his grin spreading across his face. “Guess who I want on my special investigative squad?”

The grin spread like Hayseed Fever to Switch’s muzzle. “Dude, I’d love to…” Rather suddenly, he trailed off. His grin faded. He turned from Bait to peer back to Fluttershy, still tending to the hatchlings. “Uhhhh…”

Bait’s grin wavered. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d wanna be the first to catch those pricks!”

“Yeah, I do, and I wanna be there for ya, but…” he trailed off again, again turned to look at Fluttershy. “B-but…”

Bait’s brow furrowed. He followed Switch’s gaze. The moment his eyes fell on the butter-yellow pegasus, understanding bloomed in them. “Ohhhh…” he nodded. “Uh, do you have a moment where we can talk outside?”

Switch gulped loudly, “Hey, Flutters? I need t’step outside for a second, okay?”

“Sure, sure,” she said passively, her attention totally devoted to the swaddled hatchling in her hooves.

Nodding, Switch ushered Bait just outside, back into the hallway, quietly shutting the door behind him. “Okay, that looks good for now…so dude, I can’t really leave right now. I mean, I’d love to, buuutttt…”

Bait smirked. “Ahhh, I see, almost got her, you think?”

Switch looked away. Bait just smiled.

“Man, you gotta work faster than that, I’ve beat you there.”

Switch’s jaw dropped. “You and Pinkie…!?”

“Oh yeah!” He grinned. “I rocked her little pink world.”

“Shit man, you move fast! One date and suddenly you’re…”

At the mention of a date, Bait suddenly looked away. His hoof started rubbing bashfully into the ground. Switch blinked at the sudden change. “What’s wrong?”

“She…didn’t really see it as a date, and she thought the sex was just that.” He shook his head. “Sex.”

Switch’s jaw dropped. “And you let her!?”

“I mean, if that’s how she wants to look at it…”

“Dude, a mare like that is literally thrown at you, expresses an attraction in the most blatant way possible, and you’re gonna let her slip away!?”

“Well, what about you, tough guy!? How long’re you going to take to—“

“Oh, don’t you turn this around on me!” Switch interrupted, waving his hooves and letting out a hot breath through his nose. “Bait, you have everything you need for Pinkie! Everything is practically laid out for you!”

Bait looked away, scowled, and finally met Switch’s eye. “Everything but time.”

“What’re you—“

“When this is all said and done, whaddya suppose is gonna happen between her and me?” He asked, nose twitching to keep from twisting into a grimace. “We’re not gonna occupy the Crystal Empire forever, remember? We’ve almost got what we came here for.”

Switch’s legs dropped. His eyes widened.

“Yeah, didn’t think about that, huh?” Bait spat. “The only way we’re gonna get to be with them after all this is for the Queen to decide to take them with us as prisoners, and even if they’re not immediately traded as part of some negotiations deal, you think they’ll want anything to do with us? Even if all that happens and we, somehow, can still spend time with them, someday, they’ll get traded back, or their friends’ll bust ‘em out, or Equestria will step up the pressure to get them back, and you think they’ll choose our ugly mugs over all their family and friends when that happens?”

Switch’s head sank with every word. His massive shoulders slumped. “I just…” he started, swallowed, and tried again. “She’s everything I dreamed of in a mare…”

Bait’s expression softened as he took a seat in front of his friend. “I know,” he whispered. “But you had to realize from Day One that this wasn’t meant to be. They’re Element Bearers, and we’re changelings.”

“I did, man, I did…I just…I hoped…” he shook his head. “Pipe dreams.”

“Yeah.” Bait put on a thin smile, adding a playful jab to Switch’s shoulder. “But hey man, you got me! Just means we gotta go back to what we know, right?”

“Yeah…and just forget about them, right?”

Bait’s thin little smile faded. “Right…just, forget about ‘em.”

“Yeah,” Switch let out a long sigh that heaved his entire massive body, then he finally stood. “Alright, well, you gotta get to your investigatin’.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Bait said, standing with him. “I’ll…see ya when this is over, okay?”

“Okay.”

Bait turned and started trotting away. Switch watched him go, and cursed himself. Today was meant to be a special one for his friend, where all his dreams were finally going to come together. Instead, thanks to his own stupidity, it would just be a crushing disappointment. He shook his head. The damn thing was, Bait was right. Anything he could dream of with Fluttershy was bound to end with them being split up. He couldn’t ask her to leave behind her family and friends for a stallion she hadn’t even kissed yet. Maybe he should just gallop after Bait…

Nah. Maybe he could just enjoy what time he did have left with her. He nodded to himself. Sure. Sure, why not. He chuckled and finally got off the ground, turning back to the nursery. He had to force his hooves one in front of the other to carry him inside. Had he been paying attention, he would have noticed a few things off, like the fact that the hatchlings had all apparently fallen asleep again. That was a half-hour job for Fluttershy at least, and he’d been chatting with Bait for five minutes at most. Still, while the sheer eeriness of it all didn’t strike him, the fact that every hatchling was now snoozing away in their cribs eventually did.

“H-hey Flutters,” he said, looking around with the beginnings of a smile on his face. “You got them down fas—“

There was a blinding light. A purple flash. And then, nothing more except darkness.

Fluttershy knew she wasn’t a brave mare. Sure, she was on record for sticking her neck out for her friends, but those were extreme circumstances. Most other days, she knew just a loud noise would be enough to make her quiver in fear. Take now, for instance. One loud roar from a chunk of the floor collapsing, and she was still quivering in fear, even five minutes later, while being hugged by one of her best friends in the whole world.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy,” Twilight insisted, hugging the other mare to herself. Her horn still smoldered from the knockout bolt she’d just fired at Switch’s head. “It’s alright. You’re safe now, I promise.”

Fluttershy peeked up through her hooves. Rarity smiled back at her, alongside a whole host of stallions she thought she recognized from a very, very long time ago. “Girls?” She asked, finally peeking up from Twilight’s grip to see Rainbow Dash offering an encouraging smile. “What’re you doing here?”

“What’s it look like we’re doin’? We’re saving you!” Rainbow said. “This is a rescue mission, we’re gettin’ everypony out of here!”

“Oh-oh…” she blinked at that, turning at the minor tug at her wings as Twilight started pulling away the goop around them with her magic. “Oh-oh, w-wait…the hatchlings!” She gasped, turning to the nearest crib. “What did you do to the—“

“Just a sleep spell, Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “We just needed them to be quiet for a little bit while we made our escape.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow snorted. “Because busting in here through the floor was some super-spy stuff, Twi.”

“It is with the noise-muffling spell I cast on this room,” Twilight insisted, looking all around. “Unfortunately, I can’t keep it up while we go for Pinkie, I want all my magic focused for anything we might find, so everypony be quiet from this point on, okay?”

“I know how we could make sure these bugs stay quiet.” A mare Fluttershy recognized from town said. What was her name again? Flowers? Stem? Either way, the mare surveyed the room in a way that made Fluttershy nervous, and she unconsciously maneuvered herself between this newcomer and the nearest crib.

Twilight only shot a concerned look over her shoulder. “That…shouldn’t be necessary, Petalgrown. Just please take Fluttershy back to the warehouse. You’re the only other unicorn the group’ll have while the rest of us go for Pinkie, so please just go.”

The mare sneered, but nodded while Fluttershy’s ear perked.

“You’re going after Pinkie?” She asked while Twilight finished peeling the last bit of gunk off her wings.

“Just the rest of the Bearers,” Applejack insisted, scanning the hallway for anymore guards. “We’re the best and bravest in this bunch, so we’re the best t’find Pink and the Princess.”

“She’s right about that,” a stallion wearing a T-shirt that read “MY NAME IS STU” said.

“Especially on the ‘brave’ part,” another stallion insisted.

“Wait…then shouldn’t I come too?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight turned to her, biting her lip. “Fluttershy…I appreciate that, really, but you’re still traumatized by what that monster—“

Before she could finish, Fluttershy’s teeth grit, her eyes blazing. “His name is Switch, Twilight. And he is not a monster.”

Twilight’s eyebrows shot up into her maneline. “Okay…Fluttershy…regardless, we just got you back. We’re…not taking any chances on them stealing you from us again.”

You didn’t have to be Applejack to see the lie there, or to notice Twilight mutter “Stocksholm Syndrome” out the corner of her mouth. But just then, Fluttershy had a thought: she would have to fight changelings if she went along with this. She would have to fight them all the while wondering if any of them were as big, as friendly, or as loving as Switch. She tried to envision herself swinging a punch at Switch’s face, and found it impossible. At least, not without tearing up.

She bit her lip and sniffled. “O-okay…you girls go on ahead. Save Pinkie.”

Twilight nodded. “Follow me girls,” she said to the others, then turned back to Fluttershy, her eyes big and moist. “We’ll be back soon, and we’ll all be together then, don’t worry.”

With that, the four mares all galloped out into the hallway. Fluttershy let out a shaky breath, her eyes lowering, falling over the unconscious changeling.

“Alright, c’mon,” the mare Twilight had called Petalgrown insisted, pushing her head roughly against Fluttershy’s side. “We got some ground to cover before we’re safe.”

“Wait…” she whispered. Petalgrown looked at her with her brow furrowed. Fluttershy carefully flapped over to the massive, unconscious changeling on the floor. She bit her lip. This was not how she envisioned her first time doing this with a stallion to go, but if he wasn’t awake for it, she supposed…

“Bye Switch,” she whispered, planting a kiss on the changeling’s forehead. “I hope I’ll see you again…and not have to fight you to save Equestria or anything.”

She pulled herself away, choking back tears. She turned, and the flash of anger on Petalgrown’s face when she looked up was almost enough to startle her into a terrified yelp. It was gone in an instant, not enough for the others to notice. Still, Fluttershy had to resist the urge to back away when the other mare inclined her head to the dark hole.

“Get in.” She said plainly. Fluttershy quivered, nodded, and eased her way into the hole with the stallions’ help. She cast one forlorn look at one of the hatchlings’ cribs, then she turned away down the darkened hall, swallowing her tears the entire time.

Chapter XXXVII: Chrysalis and Luna, Final Date

This was it. This was absolutely it. Everything was coming together perfectly. The dress, the moonlight, the gardens...if Luna didn’t fall completely for her this very night, Chrysalis would eat her own crown!

Not that this was the goal, of course. She just needed to...settle...something with...oh she didn’t have time to figure that out, she needed to focus on making this perfect!

“Where is the nightshade!?” She barked, scanning the flowerbeds around the modest dining tables she had setup. “I was promised nightshade for this, we absolutely need it here!”

“Coming, your majesty!” One of her servants rushed by, hurriedly shoving a few flowerpots full of the purple flower in among the beds.

“Okay...thank the Maker…what about the drinks!?” Chrysalis gasped, her side giving another twist of panic. “We need a barkeep!”

“Here, yer majesty,” a changeling in a mustache popped up, snapping on a pair of suspenders. “Just lemme know whatcha need.”

“Okay...good, good...” she sighed again, then suddenly, her hoof darted up. A hapless soldier zipping by in a patrol squad just over her head found himself snagged in her grip. “Last thing: how does this dress look? I want it to say I’m prepared for anything tonight, but not ready to just give it up, right? Is that the meaning this dress is conveying!?”

The soldier, who had absolutely not been prepped for this situation in Basic, stammered, looked down at the form-fitting little number on his Queen’s body with the little slit going up the side of her leg, stammered some more, swallowed, suppressed the sort of fantasies about his Queen his mother had always told him would get him sent to Changeling Hell, and looked her in the eye. “Your majesty, the dress says exactly that. It’s saucy: seductive, but leaving just enough to the imagination to let everyone around you know that not just anypony is crawling into bed with ya.”

She blinked, hugged him, then threw the soldier aside with just enough imagery in his head to fuel his masturbation fantasies for the rest of the month. “Okay,” she sighed. “That’s it then. There’s nothing more to it.”

“Yes, your majesty,” the changeling at her side said. “Would you like to escort the princess from her room?”

Chrysalis turned to the changeling, mouth curved as if to say ‘yes,’ then she paused. She blinked, thought for a second, then a wicked grin covered her features. “No,” she said, taking a seat at the metal table. “No, tonight the princess is coming to us.”

“Yes, your highness, as you wish,” the changeling said, hurriedly excusing themselves out of fear for the look crossing their ruler’s face. It was not a nice look: it was the look of a true changeling, one spying its next meal trotting down the path all by its lonesome. Her cheeks had turned upward in a far-too-wide grin and her nostrils flared, her eyes narrowing in pinpoint focus. Chrysalis was ready tonight, and tonight the tables would be turned on the princess.

Then Luna stepped through the door, the moon hitting her at just the right angle to accentuate the ethereal glow in her mane, and all that almost went out the door.

Luna’s poise, gait, and posture were all the very image of grace. She practically glided across the brickwork pathway to the table, her dress the same little black, sequined number from their first night that hugged all her curves just perfectly. It practically seemed to follow her like a shadow, with the way it played with the moonlight while it fluttered in the air. Luna appeared to be the sort of magical being one would come across in a tale of old: the exotic sort of creature which would fit right into A Thousand and One Saddle-Arabian Nights.

Chrysalis almost lost her cool, almost allowed herself to fall into the suck-up routine she’d allowed for herself quite a few nights before. But she was nothing if not a mistress of seduction, and it’d take more than a pretty face to throw her off-course. She remained as she was, lounging with her weight on the table until Luna saw fit to sit across from her.

After a couple minutes of silence, the princess cleared her throat. “Well….should we begin?”

Chrysalis chuckled, allowing that double-toned voice to reach an eerie quality. “Sure.”

The meal started as before, only with dishes piled with food brought out to them rather than trying to share space on the tiny table. They each took as they needed, but other than the occasional request to refill a wine glass, conversation was lacking for the first few courses. However, just when Chrysalis was about to give in and speak, Luna broke:

“So…it’s been particularly chilly these past few days, hasn’t it?”

Heaving an internal sigh of relief, Chrysalis grunted in affirmation. The silence continued.

“...I mean, I knew it was awfully cold here, but is it always this cold!?” She asked with an adorably awkward smile.

“I think so.” Chrysalis’s gaze drifted off, taking a sip of her wine. More awkward silence. The barkeep let out a sigh. Neither seemed to notice.

“So...I hear the Empire is still competing in the World Cup. I mean, that’ll be a nice tidbit, if the citizens learn of it, y’know?”

Chrysalis nearly grinned. Oh, to see the Princess squirming on her line. “Hmm.” She said neutrally, lifting the glass to her lips.

“...why are you so afraid of your father?”

Chrysalis very narrowly choked on a leaf of spinach covered in raspberry vinaigrette. She thumped her carapace, tears welling in her eyes as the citrus burned. “Wh-what makes you say...”

“When we talked about him the other night,” Luna said quickly. “Whenever he came up, you got this...look in your eye.”

Chrysalis almost believed her, nearly did, but the way Luna averted her gaze as she spoke piqued her skepticism. Still, she couldn’t quite push on that yet, but that left her with a very sudden conversation topic she was in no way prepared to handle. She glared across the table, throwing herself into an offensive as she met the princess’s eyes with a narrowed gaze. “Has nopony taught you tact, your majesty?” She asked, her voice dripping with venom.

Luna didn’t waver, meeting Chrysalis’s narrowed gaze with her own nonplussed look.

Chrysalis scoffed, turning back to her meal. “Leave it alone, princess,” she growled warningly.

“Why do you fear your father?”

“Are you just going to keep pressing for that!?”

“Only until you answer.”

“Or until I throw you back in your cell!”

“Then do it.”

Both mares glared across the table, now engaged in a game of chicken, both unable to back down. “Why?” Luna repeated, her breath heaving.

Chrysalis’s teeth grit themselves, fangs baring. “Maker above, what is this to you!? Entertainment!?” She hissed. “Do you want to hear how he did it!? How one night, he just decided I resembled mom enough to pound my virgin ass until I screamed?”

Luna nearly fell back out of her chair. “Wh-what?”

“Is that what we’re all here for!?” Chrysalis bellowed. “For a nice dose of vengeance!? How my first time was with my dad, yelling at me to shut up as I sobbed for him to stop!? Is that satisfactory for you!? Or maybe you want the nitty-gritty!”

Chrysalis stood up so violently her chair was flung back against the planter behind her, the back snapping off as green flames sparked off her body. “Maybe you want to hear how he left me after! Maybe you want to hear how he just walked away, picking up an apple on his way out, leaving me on the table to try and clean up his seed with cloth napkins! How I had to learn a spell to kill the fetus so it wouldn’t come to term! How I had to spend months after avoiding him, trying to keep from…”

Something warm touched her hoof. Chrysalis looked down, heaving from her outburst. Luna’s hoof laid against her own. She blinked, not realizing tears had been welling in her eyes. She wanted to shove the princess away, and found herself unable to, only capable of supporting herself on the table using her forehooves.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Luna said.

Chrysalis looked up, blinking rapidly.

“It wasn’t your fault. You’re no less a mare and no more a monster for what happened to you.” She nodded, and a hint of that old fury that had set Chrysalis’s heart racing the first time they met ignited in her eyes. “Your father was everything but. He was clearly insane, and utterly monstrous. No normal stallion would ever...ever...even consider doing something so disgusting with his daughter.”

Chrysalis heaved, looked away. “I tried to replace mom…planted the seed…”

“He’s the one who carried out those actions. He’s the one who ignored your cries. He’s the one who took your attempts at placating his grief as an invitation to something monstrous.” She squeezed Chrysalis’s hoof. “That is all on him. Everything else -- the strength that helped you overcome him and move on -- that’s all you. And the fact that you can keep going even after something so awful is a testament to that strength.”

Chrysalis’s breath heaved. Her shoulders were practically crawling up to her ears with each inhale. She finally let in a slow breath, releasing it with a light whistle. She suppressed a shiver. Let out a breath that quivered slightly near the end. Finally, she straightened in her seat. Luna gazed at her, those deep, midnight-blue eyes locking with Chrysalis’s emeralds.

Chrysalis’s breath quickened, though for a completely different reason this time. “Luna,” she said. The rest of her breath wheezed out of her carapace as the princess tilted her head curiously. “Luna, I…”

She let in a sharp breath. Dammit, she was doing it again! And Chrysalis was falling for it, dammit all to hell!

“...I’m...not falling for this twice!” Chrysalis sneered, rearing up. Luna fell back from her chair in surprise as the Queen threw the table away, overturning it. “How damned stupid do you think I am!? How!?”

Luna backed up in shock, a hoof rising in defense. With a snarl, Chrysalis slapped it away. Any calm left in the princess’s façade faded. The only strength the magic inhibitors had left her with was physical, after all. Against Chrysalis’s raw magical might, she didn’t stand a chance.

Luna fell back on her haunches as Chrysalis advanced, the changeling’s horn igniting with magic. “Stop playing me for the naive fool, Princess,” she hissed as her muzzle elongated. Her body grew as her teeth became needle-like points, joining her fangs in a shark-like grin. Her hooves grew sets of razor-sharp claws as her eyes became yellow and flat. Finally, a set of long, spider-like legs sprouted from her mottled back, her wings burning away in a gout of flame as the legs slammed into the floor, the now-shredded evening gown adorning Chrysalis’s body falling away as she tromped up to the horrified princess.

“Unless, of course, you believe you could bring yourself to love a changeling!” Chrysalis hissed in a demonic rasp, her throat adding some insect-like clicks. Luna fell back entirely, looking up in horror as Chrysalis advanced, stalking like an alpha predator. Luna slid on her backside until she met the unyielding marble of the surrounding banister, and then Chrysalis was atop her, breath panting in and out of her massive form, warped into a threatening rasp by her transformed body.

And then...nothing. The pair remained like that, Chrysalis’s breath drifting over Luna’s muzzle as the fear slowly dissipated in Luna’s mind. Luna felt something by her hoof. Just from the feel of it, she could tell it was a hoof. Coated in chitin and filled with holes, but still a hoof much like her own. Without really thinking about it, her own hoof slowly wrapped around the other, gradually applying pressure until Chrysalis took notice. The changeling queen, still panting heavily with that deep, predator-like rasp, gave a surprised yelp and looked down, seeing their hooves intertwined. She gave a half-hearted tug, but slowly found it impossible to pull away despite her superior magical ability. Instead, her hoof returned the squeeze as her transformations melted away, her fangs returning to their original length and size, her eyes becoming their regular emerald again, and the spider legs suddenly going from thick and hairy to something more delicate, still insect-like, but less threatening. All at once, she was no longer towering over the princess, but embracing her, still giving the occasional tug to free herself, but ultimately remaining where she was like a fly caught in a trap.

Chrysalis finally looked up from the entwined hooves into Luna’s eyes. The alicorn smiled down at her, the blue of the morning sky reflecting in her irises, as if she was saving the night sky just for her. Without warning, Chrysalis started to lower herself, her body drawing closer and closer, her breath slowing to a steady, calm beat, her eyes drifting shut as the distance between their muzzles narrowed. Before either could really tell what was happening, both sets of lips puckered, growing tantalizingly close to one another, getting ready to express what both knew, deep in their hearts, had been building up between them all along.

And that was when the door to the gardens burst open.

“Your Highness!” The Guard gasped, not even missing a beat as he galloped into the room. “There’s a situation in the kitchen!”

If it was possible to hate a concept as nebulous as serendipity, Chrysalis hated it with every fiber in her being in that moment. She glared up into the shocked guard’s eyes, who was only now grasping what he’d just stumbled in on. “A small incident in the kitchen is of no concern to—“

“N-no, your majesty,” the changeling bit his lip. “It’s…the Elements of Harmony! The other Element Bearers are here, in the castle!”

Chrysalis blinked, stunned. “That…can’t…”

She paused. Of course it was possible. It was very possible. She looked down at Luna, shocked. Was this all a distraction? Of course, of course! The coincidence was too great! Or perhaps that’s all these dinners were, Luna just keeping her occupied at every opportunity, hoping to get lucky one night, who knew?

Who cared?

Chrysalis’s eyes hardened in an instant. Her lip curled back into that snarl. “You were distracting me.”

“Chrysalis,” Luna said suddenly, backing away, her eyes also wide and surprised, just like the actress Chrysalis knew she was. “Chrysalis, it’s not like…”

In a flash, Chrysalis closed the distance between them. She was practically on top of Luna once more, their faces almost touching. But she held her distance, still gazing into Luna’s eyes. “You…” she whispered.

Luna swallowed.

Chrysalis opened her mouth. In a flash, her muzzle morphed into a fang-filled mockery of a pony’s, her teeth gritting together. “You!” She shrieked, forcing Luna to fall back on her flanks. Chrysalis took a step forward, glaring down at the quivering princess. She raised a hoof. Luna raised one of her own, trying to protect her face…and…

…And…

Perhaps it was as simple as the fact that the old wound had been opened. This time, seeing Luna defenseless, on her back, raising a hoof in fear, it brought Chrysalis back to that night long ago, when she’d held that same look on her face, dear ol’ dad telling her to shut up as he violated her on levels she never thought she’d come back from.

Her mind cleared. She backed away.

“I don’t have time for you,” she hissed, turning to the doors. “Guards!”

In an instant, armored changelings burst into the gardens, flooding the walkways. Chrysalis levelled a hoof at Luna. “Imprison her! Then secure the palace! We have a break-in!”

“Your majesty!” The guards saluted and went about their duties. Luna gasped, trying to protest, but without even turning Chrysalis motioned with a hoof and a bit-gag was shoved into the princess’s mouth.

“I want every chamber secured,” Chrysalis bellowed. “Resecure the Crystal Heart, and make sure everypony is where they are meant to be! I want headcounts, dammit!” She screamed, her mind shifting to war-mode in a flash.

“Madam!” The nearest changelings saluted, swooping off. She stepped back into the hallway with her entourage, moving along with a group of a dozen changelings.

“You lot, you’re going to follow me,” she hissed. “I’m going to personally secure every hallway in this palace.”

One changeling raised a hoof.

“Yes, stairways count as a hallway, do I look like I’m fucking around right now!?” She hissed at him.

The changeling lowered his hoof, jogging to keep up.

“Now, what we need is to--” suddenly, she raised her head, mossy-green mane falling back. She sniffed deeply. Her eyes widened. “Is that…smoke?”

Author's Notes:

OKAY! We're reaching the end now, so hopefully these chapters will start slamming out at this sort of frequency. Thank you all for your patience, we're reaching the home stretch here!

Chapter XXXVIII: Pinkiescape

Pinkie sighed as she crawled out of her flour-sack hideout. The machine was pretty much ready, but that she might have to use it against Bait made her stomach turn. She thought she’d grow more used to the idea as she stole occasional bits of work time here and there, but if anything it had only gotten harder to think about.

She shook her head, tying the apron tight around her body again. “Cinnamon rolls,” she said aloud with a little smile. “That’ll make it better, some nice cinnamon rolls.”

She readied the dough, kneading it under her hooves, working it back and forth and certainly not thinking about standing over Bait, drinking in the betrayed look in his eyes. She certainly did not think about him reaching meekly up to her with a hoof as she coldly pulled the trigger. She didn’t think about him falling back, the last memories in his mind being of an incredible betrayal.

She hammered a hoof into the dough. Why was this so hard!? She’d kicked tons of flank back in Canterlot! This should have been easy!

Then she sighed, her shoulders relaxing. “No it’s not. I should really stop pretending it will be.” The fact was, she felt something for Bait. Friendship, at the very least, maybe even the potential for more. Canterlot had been easy because those were nameless, faceless changelings, barely visible but for the brief moments before they were engulfed in a cloud of confetti and streamers. Even that one changeling she’d convinced to mimic her had been visible for all of ten seconds before getting a taste of her Twigun. Bait was far and above all those losers.

And she was going to have to stop him. The magic stone glued to the back of her neck left her no other choice.

She sighed, shook her head. A tear trailed down her muzzle and dripped into the dough, ruining it with her sads. That was alright. She didn’t feel much like baking anymore, anyway. She started throwing the dough away, scraping it out of the bowl and into the garbage, when her ear perked. She swiveled around, facing the door.

“Baity?” She asked.

Something thudded along the corridor. She might have heard a magical explosion. She bit her lip, her eyes darting to the flour sacks. Did she have time to go for it? No, best not play that card until she was certain. She whipped out a rolling pin, heading for the door and priming it over her shoulder like a baseball bat. At the very least, that would give her time to spring for her little project if she needed it. Another series of magic shots sounded, followed by squeals and the sound of galloping hooves getting closer to her door. Her grip tightened. Her breath evened out in her chest. She licked her lips, her mind reviewing the technique for slipping into Fort FlourPink as quickly as she could.

The door opened. She swung.

“Pinkie we’re here to…” Rainbow Dash managed before taking a faceful of rolling pin. She fell back, eyes rolling.

“Dashie!?” Pinkie gasped, gazing down at the pegasus.

“Pinkie?” Twilight said, galloping in right behind Dash.

“Twilight!” Pinkie gasped, dropping the rolling pin.

“Pinkie!” Rarity added, trotting in after Twilight.

“Rarity!”

“Sugarcube?” Applejack shot in, then took one look at her blue friend on the ground and gasped. “Rainbow Dash!”

“Applejack!”

“Pinkie!?”

“Rarity!”

“Twilight!”

“Applejack!”

“Pinkie!”

“Mommy?” Rainbow Dash interrupted the friends as she sat up, eyes spinning.

“Oopsies…” Pinkie said with a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Rainbow.”

Shaking her head and pressing a hoof to her temple, Rainbow sighed. “S’alright. Jeez, you ever think about trying out for the Ponyville Sluggers? I think they could use a hitter like you.”

“I tried, but they don’t appreciate it when mares run on the field to steal a field goal with a slapshot.” She snorted, shaking her head. “Buncha racists.”

“How is that…wouldn’t that be…field goal?” Rainbow sighed, suddenly feeling even dizzier. This only brought a smile to her face. “Gosh, we missed you.”

“I missed you girls too,” Pinkie said, smiling to the mares gathered around her. She brought them in for a hug. “I really did.”

“No need for any of that now, dearie.” Rarity said, smiling at her friend while wrapping her hooves around Pinkie’s waist. “This dreadful nightmare is over.”

“Actually, it hasn’t been so bad,” Pinkie said.

“Whazzat?” Applejack asked, backing up.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m super-duper glad you guys’re here, but if I’m being honest…” she played with her mane, a melancholy smile spreading across her face as thoughts of the night she spent with a special certain somechangeling played in her head. And on top of that was Bait in the kitchen on his first day, working to exhaustion. Bait on discovering he was a natural wisk. Bait taking a full load of her happy party fun time blast to the face. “…it was kinda nice at some parts.”

“Oh no…not you too…” Twilight sighed, shaking her head.

Pinkie tilted her head. “What’s that?”

“Nothing, Pinkie,” Twilight said, even as she mouthed “Stocksholm Syndrome” to the others.

Pinkie frowned, wondering if Twilight seriously thought she couldn’t see something so long as she didn’t say it aloud, but before she could ask, there was a loud bang and hissing from the other side of the door. “What was that?”

“Ohhh…we may have garnered some unwanted attention on our way in,” Twilight sighed as Rainbow and Applejack hurried to barricade the door.

“Alright Twi,” Applejack said as she threw a shelf full of spices in the way. “Looks like we’re gonna have some company on the way back, ya’ll think yer up fer a fight?”

“As long as we can get to the tunnel, we’re safe. I can teleport everypony out from there.” She sighed. “It’s getting there that’s the problem.”

“Wait, cantcha just teleport us all the way?” Pinkie pointed out.

“The goop around the palace is blocking anything that complicated,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “I can use some basic silencing magic and some attack spells, but anything more will have to wait until we’re back in the tunnel and clear of the palace.”

Pinkie whistled. “You guys tunneled in here? Cool!”

“Too bad we didn’t bring any heavy artillery for support, huh?” Rainbow smirked as she threw her weight against the door, prepping to brace herself against it.

Eyes widening, Pinkie glanced back at the pile of flour sacks that made up Mt. EverPink. “Girls? I think I might actually be able to help out there.”

Bait sighed as he trotted his way back to the kitchen. He’d taken a quick trip to the dungeons to check on the changelings that had assaulted him the other night, and when it was established that they had kept their muzzles shut through all sorts of tortures, he realized all he could do was wait. He had no other leads other than the fact that they were all Praetorians, apparently, and while shocking, it was easy to chalk up to coincidence. Bunch of stallions that familiar with eachother? Of course they would be the only ones they’d trust enough to get involved with this sort of crime ring. Of course they’d come from the same unit.

At least, that’s what the Praetorian guarding their cell had said.

He shook his head. The only lead he had to go on in the first opportunity he’d ever had to prove one of his “crazy conspiracies” true, and it was him sitting around, waiting for someone else to do their job. Great. Now he got to lie around, wondering when the call would come down that’d tell him to move, and he’d have to drop whatever he was doing for it, so there was no sense in doing anything important until then.

Well, at least he might come up with someone to take Switch’s place at his side…or…he could crank out some cookies in the meantime.

He smiled. After news like he’d just gotten, some cookies with Pinkie sounded pretty great right now. He could see himself dabbing a bit of frosting off her cute, pink button nose, then have her sneeze confetti on him like she always did. That always cheered him up. Didn’t know why, but maybe—

A changeling in full armor nearly bowled him over as he trotted along. “Woah there,” Bait said as he stumbled to the side. “Where’s the fire, soldier?”

“Kitchen!” The guard howled over his shoulder.

Bait stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened. Pictures of showing up in the daycare with Fluttershy curled up in a little ball while two stallions stood nearby, all ready to do all sorts of nastiness to her, flashed through his head. “Pinkie…oh Bait, you idiot!”

He took off in a full gallop, running right for the kitchen, catching up to the guard. “I left her alone!” He gasped. “Why’d I do that!? After what happened with Switch…how could I be so stupid!?”

“Sir?” The guard asked, turning to cock an eyebrow at him. “Whatcha talking about?”

“Nothing of importance!” Bait panted. “Just get your ass to the kitchen, fast!”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, sir!” The guard gasped, even as he fell behind Bait’s gallop. Bait outpaced him the rest of the way, only screeching to a stop when he nearly charged into the flank of another armored guard.

His heart leapt into his throat, seeing a whole host of guards gathered around the closed door, spears leveled. A host of dark scenarios played through his head, from a Manticore invasion to Sombra rising from the depths of their flour stocks to possess Pinkie’s poor, pink mind.

“Wha-what’s goin’ on?” He gasped between pants.

Without looking back from the door, the guard in front of him answered: “You know the Element Bearers? The ones we didn’t catch came back for their friends.”

Bait’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping. Her friends… Twilight Sparkle, one of the most powerful magic-users ever born. Rainbow Dash, the fastest creature in Equestria and capable of pulling off the fabled Sonic Rainboom. Applejack, a mare whose bucks and sheer strength were the stuff of legend, ridiculous even by Earth pony standards. Rarity, the fashionista whose elegance and ability on the runway were only matched by her wit, charm, and kung-fu skills.

Then again, Pinkie Pie had been the mare of a thousand devastating party cannons to him before all of this, so maybe there was a way to get around this? One that didn’t end in bloodshed? And maybe they could all come out because Pinkie had explained how nice he was and they would all surrender and he’d make sure they’d all be able to be together even as prisoners and they would even wave goodbye as he retreated to the Hive?

…

Yeah, and maybe Chrysalis would take the moon for a lover.

“Step aside!” Bait growled, advancing beyond the line of spears.

“Hold up, what the hell’re you doing!?” Another one of the guards asked.

Bait surveyed the group around him. Obviously, none of them were of any significant rank. He frowned, turning on the changeling that had spoken up. “I’m the stallion whose job it is to keep that insane pile of joy contained,” he replied. “Now, why the hell haven’t any of you even tried the door!?”

Silence greeted him. Most of the changelings averted eye contact. He rolled his eyes: that was answer enough for him.

“Chrysalis help us,” he shouted, surveying each. “They’re just ponies! They’re not omnipotent beings! They’re just mares!” Wonderful, cute, sexy, vibrant mares, but they didn’t need to know that. “You’re all being ridiculous! Watch! I’m going to touch the damn door, you all can handle that, right!?”

“Sir—“one changeling gasped, a hoof leaving his spear to reach out for him. Bait sneered, whipped around, reached for the knob.

And that was when the world exploded.

The ceiling was the floor. The floor was ceiling. He was phone. The wall was hard. His skull felt way too soft against it. The world reeled. Thoughts disconnected. Shots distant. Explosions. Magic. A battle? Who was fighting? Was he supposed to be fighting? Usually, that was the case. He tried to stand, focus. Blink.

The hallway was a warzone. Magic flew everywhere, the sound of hooves smashing into faces accompanying it. Streaks of purple, white, blue, and orange annihilated the ranks of a dozen black blobs, with the support of…

He blinked again. He jaw dropped as his muzzle scrunched up. What was he…even seeing? It looked like a giant, bipedal being made from pulleys and scrap wood barrels wheeling its arms around wildly. He watched a couple of guards charge it, only to be swept away by an arm with a massive barrel protruding from its end, painted with…

His heart stopped. Three little balloons. Oh no.

Any further doubts were shoved from his mind when the being turned its back to him, revealing the words “PARTY CANNON Mk.II – ALPHA VER” painted onto its back.

“Oh no,” he moaned aloud as one of his comrades was blasted away by an explosion of streamers and confetti from the construction’s arm cannon. Unfortunately, his moaning got its attention.

The machine turned on him. He could see the little slat meant for a set of eyes to gaze through. He thought he could even see the shimmer of gorgeous baby-blues in there. And his heart twisted as the machine leveled its cannon-arm on him.

“BAITY!?” A magically-enhanced voice shouted from inside. “OH...I WAS REALLY HOPING YOU WOULDN’T COME BACK.”

“It’s my duty to, Pinkie,” he said, taking a step forward. “I was ordered to guard you. Not only to shield you from outside threats, but also to keep you imprisoned.”

“I KNOW THAT.” The cannon didn’t waver. “DON’T MAKE ME DO THIS. PLEASE.”

He shook his head slowly, sadly. “You know I don’t have a choice. I have a duty to uphold.”

“BUT…I SAID THE MAGIC WORD! PLEASE?”

He chuckled, again shaking his head. “Nice to know you didn’t let building a giant mech right under my nose go to your head.”

“PLEASE…” she replied. “WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER, I CAN…CAN GO TO THE BADLANDS. AND YOU CAN FIND ME. AND WE’LL HAVE DINNER SOMEWHERE ON THE PRENCH RIVIERA AND MY BUTLER WILL BE THERE AND HE’LL KNOW I’VE MOVED ON FROM…”

“That’s not a plan, Pinkie! That’s just a disappointing ending!”

“Oh yeah…BUT STILL! WE’LL…WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT! JUST…JUST…”

His horn glowed. He lowered his body into a battle stance, the wound in his shoulder voicing its complaint. “Don’t make me do this.” He said at the same time she did.

No more words were exchanged. He could see her massive blue eyes shimmering in the little slat, but he could also see that the gun hadn’t wavered in the slightest. His magic didn’t dissipate either. He knew he could set it off faster than she could let off a round from that cannon, and he just had to stop her. If she incapacitated him at the same time he shot, so what? Reinforcements would cart him off to the nearest hospital. But if he activated that stone on her back, she was paralyzed. She’d be stuck here and dragged off to captivity where…she would…not see her friends again, after coming so close to freedom.

They hesitated, staring into one another’s eyes. Then suddenly, there were two of her. Bait’s heart leapt into his throat, thinking this might be some new kind of magic, but then there were five of her, then six, then she was all blurry. He only realized he was crying when he felt the warm tears burning along the chitin on his cheek. He remained in battle stance, but he let the tears fall. “Pinkie…” he choked out, trying not to let the sobs enter his voice and failing miserably. “I may not get to say this again, so I need to say it now: I’m sorry!”

There was a long pause, and then: “WHAT!?”

“I’m sorry!” He gasped. “I’m sorry you were—“

And then the world exploded. Again. Cripes, twice in one day? He should have probably gone in to get checked for a concussion.

Pinkie gasped, watching Rainbow Dash carry out a supersonic tornado kick to Bait’s jaw. “RAINBOW!”

“Got ‘im!” She laughed, turning to Pinkie with a smile on her face. “No worries, Pink! I got the little bug!”

“RAINBOW, YOU DIDN’T…YOU SHOULDN’T…” Pinkie looked over to Bait’s unconscious body. A hoof went to her mouth. A moment later, she slipped from the PC-MK.II’s hatch and galloped to him. “Bait…”

The smaller changeling lay in her hooves. She cuddled him close to her body, her eyes brimming with tears, looking over the growing bruise on his jaw. “You didn’t have to do that…” she whispered.

“Pinkie…” Pinkie looked up, at Twilight and Applejack and Rarity and Rainbow Dash walking towards her, all with their brows hunched in concern. She should have been happy about that. Happy to see her friends again, right?

…No.

No, not if it meant another friend got hurt.

She let out a quivering sigh and finally, leaned down to plant a long kiss on Bait’s lips. Gasps of shock surrounded her, she didn’t care. She just kept making out with Bait’s limp form until her air ran out and she broke it off with a pop.

“Pinkie…what?” Twilight gasped, shaking her head side to side while her eyes remained on the strange pair.

“It’s a long story, Twi, I’ll tell ya later.” Pinkie insisted, setting Bait down gently as she climbed to her hooves. “Right now, we gotta get back to that tunnel before reinforcements arrive, right?”

Twilight stared with wide eyes for a long while, then she finally blinked. “Y-yes, we need to get back to the tunnel. Now.” She turned to the others. “Girls, get ready for a fight. I don’t think the changelings have had time to gather themselves, but I’m not taking any chances.”

Pinkie nodded, saluted, and climbed back up into her pilot’s seat. Elevated as she was, she was the first of the group to notice the wavering of heat gathering near the ceiling.

“Alright girls!” Twilight insisted. “Are we ready!?”

“JUST ONE SECOND,” Pinkie said. “DOES ANYPONY ELSE SMELL SMOKE?”

Chapter XXXIX: Petalgrown Strikes

Fluttershy should have been happy. She was getting out of the palace, getting to see her friends! She was going to see everypony she missed again! Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity…that was nice! Wasn’t it?

So why did she keep looking over her shoulder, back to the tunnel’s entrance? Was it the hatchlings? She bit her lip, took another peek into the dark tunnel behind her. Yes, something was telling her that something was terribly wrong back there.

She sighed, turning away. Yes, something was terribly wrong. Switch was back there. And he was going to wake up all alone, and nopony was going to help him. And nopony was going to make sure he got a glass of water while he helped the hatchlings back to sleep either. And nopony was going to tell him everything was going to be fine…

She sniffled a little more, still maintaining her pace with the stallions. That had to be it. She was just worried about Switch, which was silly. The hatchlings were safe, Twilight had said so, and she trusted Twilight about as far as she could possibly trust anypony.

“We should stop here,” the stallion in the “MY NAME IS STU” t-shirt said. “It’s still a long ways back.”

He was met with nods of assent. Fluttershy sighed, taking a seat on the cavern floor. She let her breath out in a long, drawn-out way, wrapping her wings around herself for some warmth. Oddly enough, her wings suddenly didn’t feel as warm as she remembered them. Not like his…

“Miss?” She looked up. The stallion in suspenders was standing there, holding up a thermos and a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

“Oh, thank you,” she whispered gratefully, sipping from the mug. “Where did you get this?”

He just smiled warmly at her. “S’my job to have a drink on hoof whenever anypony needs it,” he replied. “Wouldn’t be a good bartender if I didn’t.”

“Well, thank you,” she nodded, offering him a small smile.

“My pleasure, ma’am,” he insisted, grinning with a snap of his suspenders. “It’s a job, is all.”

She nodded at that. “I get that. My job has always been taking care of others who can’t really help themselves.”

“A noble pursuit!” He enthused. “I see the bugs figured you were a good choice for babysittin’ then, huh?”

“Yeah…” she trailed off, looking away. “It was…really nice, actually.”

“Can’t imagine doing anything for the bugs could be nice,” Stu snorted. “But I guess lookin’ over a bunch of little ones couldn’t be too bad.”

“It wasn’t,” she whispered, looking forlornly back into the tunnel. That feeling of something wrong wouldn’t go away. “It really wasn’t.”

Seeing Fluttershy’s ears fold low and her wings rustle, the mood fell immediately. Whispers of “Stocksholm Syndrome” began anew. At the very least, it stopped the talking and gave her some quiet, for which she was grateful. She turned to look down the tunnel again, and her ear perked with a thought.

“Ummm...excuse me?” She asked the group, her usually-quiet voice booming in the silence. “I’m sorry, but I was wondering what the plan would be if the changelings followed us?”

At that, Stu grinned. “Well ma’am, your smarty-pants friend back there had that all figured out. While we got this tunnel dug, she enchanted the supports t’go off with just a basic spell. Any ol’ unicorn could collapse the whole thing down!”

“Oh! Yes, that does sound like something Twilight would come up with,” she smiled pleasantly, only for the smile to fade as she scanned the crowd and noticed a distinct lack of horns. “Ummm…don’t you need a unicorn for that, then?”

“Of course we do!” Stu scoffed. “She may have a few screws loose upstairs, but we got Petalgrown for that!”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as it hit her. Her stomach dropped.

Petalgrown. The mare with the hateful gaze, who’d looked upon the hatchlings the same way one would look upon a puddle of bear vomit. Had Fluttershy seen her at all since they’d left the nursery? Had anypony?

“Hey, that’s a good point,” a voice piped up, seemingly oblivious to the panicked heaving shaking Fluttershy’s frame. “Where is Petalgrown?”

“Ummm…shit, anypony put eyes on her recently?” Someone else piped up.

The confused looks and questioning eyes scanning around were all the answer Fluttershy needed. Petalgrown had vanished, likely of her own accord, seeing to it that they weren’t being chased by a battalion of changelings.

“We have to go back,” she said quickly, trying to suppress the sinking feeling in her heart.

“Wait, what!?” Stu gasped, bolting up. “We’re already halfway to the warehouse!”

“Yeah, and I’m allergic to being imprisoned in changeling goop for all time, so…” another stallion piped up.

“I have irritable bowel syndrome.”

Fluttershy bit her lip, her gaze trailing back up the tunnel. Back up to where a whole group of hatchlings lay, totally defenseless, unable to even wake up as a madmare did who-knows-what to them—

She turned on the group, teeth clenching, eyes hard. “We are going back there and making sure every one of those little angels is okay, and so help me if any of you try to stop us I will tear your balls off and turn them into bonnets for those little hatchlings!”

That got the stallions moving. “Halfway there just means we’re also halfway back, right!?” Stu gasped.

“I guess an eternity held captive in changeling goop doesn’t sound too bad!” Another piped up.

“I just pooped.”

Nodding confidently, Fluttershy led her small army back through the tunnels, back towards the palace. Their hooves slowly picked up the pace as she did, eventually leading to a full-on gallop until a small splotch of color appeared in front of them.

Petalgrown approached at a leisurely pace, as if she were enjoying an afternoon trot through a park. The sight only made Fluttershy gallop harder. “What’re you all doing back here?” Petalgrown asked, eyes widening as they approached.

Fluttershy just paused in front of her, gasping for breath. “Where were you!?” She blurted.

Petalgrown’s shock gave way to that neutral, calculating frown. “Who wants to know?”

Nonplussed, Fluttershy reared up until they were practically muzzle-to-muzzle and she was glaring into the other mare’s eyes. “Me.” She hissed.

Of course, that close, their eyes boring into one another, Fluttershy was able to detect even the faintest scent on Petalgrown’s coat. And the result made her shrink back. She shook her head. No…no, nopony could be that evil…she couldn’t have…

That notion was dismissed as she gazed back into Petalgrown’s eyes and saw the cold impassiveness in them. She shook her head. “What did you do?” She asked, her voice little more than a harsh whisper.

Petalgrown just stood there, staring back.

Again, Fluttershy reared up, glaring into her eyes. “What did you do!?”

Petalgrown sneered. “What I had to so another generation of those monsters wouldn’t be—“

That was all she managed to get out before Fluttershy simply bowled her over, running her down like a stagecoach with broken steering. She kept moving, hooves pumping, heart racing, and not just because of the exercise. Behind her, the stallions called for her to wait, but she refused, even when there was a loud zap, followed by a massive cracking and shifting sound from above her. Too late, she remembered what the stallions had said about Twilight’s contingency plan for ensuring they could not be followed.

The roof rumbled. The ground shook. Fluttershy kept up at a dead gallop, even as fearful tears started running down her cheeks, and soon she was rewarded with the flickering of flames up ahead. Her heartrate quickened. “Swiiiiiitch!” She screamed as the air filled with smoke and the roar from the ceiling above her. She scrambled up to the nursery, the roof caving in just behind her, fanning a furious windstorm up through the tunnel and past her until it billowed her mane up. Coughing with the dust, Fluttershy threw herself at the tunnel entrance and pulled herself up into a firestorm. Immediately, her hooves weakened against the intense heat. She coughed, even as her eyes widened in fear at the sight of the nursery.

Fire lined the room, blazing along the seams, lapping up the multicolored wallpaper and burning along the seams. A sheet of fire had devoured the curtains and was now licking at the ceiling. Little flecks of burning fabric had rained down all around the hatchlings under the window, who stirred and fidgeted but could do little else under Twilight’s sleep spell. Huffing in a panic, and breathing in more fumes in the process, Fluttershy scrambled for that group first, hurriedly taking them into her rapidly-weakening hooves.

“I-it’s okay…” she choked out between coughs. “It’s all gonna be okay…gonna…” her head swooned. Sweat beaded along her forehead. She turned to the closed door, barely visible in the smoke, and started making her way towards it. Her head felt all fuzzy, and it was only now she realized she was suffocating, likely poisoned by the fumes off whatever was burning. A coughing jag wracked her body as she stumbled towards the door, she had to—

Her hoof tripped over something. Twisting on reflex, she landed on her back, sparing the hatchlings. Her head spun again, but she managed to look up at what she’d fallen over. Switch’s massive, scarred head lolled to the side behind her. Tears filled her already-bleary eyes. “I-I’ll be back,” she hacked, now scooting on her back towards the door.

After what felt like an eternity, her head brushed against the wood of the door. Still gasping desperately, she poured every ounce of will left in her body to force herself up, reach up with a hoof, and throw it against the handle. It bounced off once. Then twice. With a desperate cry, she wrenched the handle in her grasp, finally tumbling outside into the fresh air.

She laid there for a second, the cold crystal feeling like a blessing against her face. She gasped in blessed, cool relief, her chest rising and falling. Her lungs howled with agony, and she let out a series of throaty coughs. Finally, when a little strength had returned, she shoved the small bunch of hatchlings she’d managed to save out into the hallway, further away from the door, and turned to drag herself back in.

“Switch!” She rasped, coughing as she fell against one of the cribs. Almost unconsciously, she reached down into the small cradle, scooping up the hatchling within. Gasping, knowing she was dragging in more fumes with each desperate breath and not being able to help herself, she stumbled over, almost tripping over the unconscious changeling a second time.

“Switch…” she whispered, pulling herself against the big changeling. He didn’t even stir, instead laying there, the combination of fumes and Twilight’s knockout spell doing the trick. She sobbed, tugged at one massive shoulder, and knew just from that tentative little tug that she was far too weak to drag him to safety. Even if she hadn’t spent the last few minutes breathing in toxic fumes, she wouldn’t be able to do anything for him.

Still, she tugged desperately, even as fire leapt at her and singed her mane, burning her coat. She moaned, repeatedly pulling at him like a filly whose favorite teddy had been caught in a locked door with maybe half the strength. Finally, her grip failed and she fell on her flank against one of the cribs.

Fluttershy gazed back at Switch and choked out a sob. “I’m sorry…” she whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.” Her next thought was to at least get this hatchling to safety, but as she looked over her shoulder, the door seemed an impossible distance away. Her hooves failed to obey her when she commanded them to bring her to the gaping doorway. Another sob escaped her throat. Safety was so close, but she just didn’t have the strength.

A headache pounded behind her eyes. Her muscles ached. Her throat burned. She’d never been this thirsty or this tired in her life. Tears left trails of wet yellow amidst the soot on her cheeks. “I wasn’t…wasn’t strong…” she sighed as sleep overtook her and her eyes drifted shut for what she knew would be the last time.

And then ten feet of pure robotic party-starting power dove into the room and scooped her up in its arms.

Pinkie Pie knew just three things in that moment: that her friend and a bunch of kids were in danger, that they were all being hunted by a bunch of changelings acting as an encroaching timer, and that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

“Thank you, Equestrian public schooling,” she mused as she worked the pulley to her side, forcing the massive robotic arm to scoop her friend up.

Fluttershy coughed in her grip, gazing up at the slat Pinkie was peering through, then down at the trio of balloons painted alongside the barrel of one of her arms. “Puh-Pinkie?” The pegasus moaned.

“Hey Flutters,” Pinkie giggled, waving out the small flicker of fire at the end of one of Fluttershy’s rosette curl using the robot’s party-cannon-hand. “You know, when ponies say a party’s gonna be ‘lit,’ it’s not meant to be literal, right?”

Fluttershy managed another weak cough, mixed with a giggle, which apparently took the last of her strength as she promptly passed out.

Sighing, Pinkie peered through the smoke, squinting at the black object at her ‘bot’s feet. Her eyes lit up when she realized what it was. “Switchy!” She gasped, scooping the changeling up in her other arm. “Aww, you went off to dreamland to be with Baity, didntcha? You’re such…such good friends…”

Her voice wavered near the end of that statement, and she wiped at her nose with a sniffle. “Gonna miss you guys,” she mumbled as she turned back for the door, just as the rest of her friends stormed in.

Twilight took a single look at the flames racing throughout the nursery, gazed down at the hatchlings currently resting under her spell, and barely even hesitated. Her horn ignited, and moments later, a loud series of shrieks and wails filled the air as the hatchlings awoke from her spell. “Everypony, follow the wails!” She screamed. “Grab a baby and get them out!”

“Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh…” Rainbow Dash gasped, taking to the air, only to sink immediately, coughing. “Ugh, what’s with these fumes!?”

“Gonna need some sorta protection Dashe,” Pinkie said as she walked out the door. “I’m getting lightheaded myself!”

“Just stay on the ground and grab whatcha can,” Applejack shouted, throwing hatchlings onto her back as fast as she could. “We ain’t got time for nothin’ else!”

“Twilight dear,” Rarity said, a couple more hatchlings lifted in her magic, “Could you perhaps aid us in this somehow?”

“Oh yeah…” Twilight said, her horn flickering as she puffed her cheeks out. She exhaled, huffed, and finally a group of lilac bubbles appeared around everypony’s heads, even Pinkie within her giant robot. “There! Instant air filters!”

“Thank you,” Rarity said as another batch of hatchlings hovered into the hallway outside, floating beside Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who carried another group out by hoof.

“Alright,” Rainbow said, swooping out with another batch of wailing hatchlings. “I think we just about got ‘em all.”

“I don’t hear any more crying,” Twilight said, looking carefully over every cradle, scanning each one for any sign of an infant that just wasn’t crying out for them. She turned back to the others, beaming widely. “I think that’s it! We got ‘em all!”

Of course, over the roar of the flames and the natural muffling qualities of the bubble around her head, she couldn’t be blamed for not hearing the loud roar above her, even as a huge chunk of ceiling came crashing down on her head. One moment, the lilac unicorn was standing there, and the next in her place was a massive slab of crystal next to a pile of shattered wood that used to be a crib.

“TWILIGHT!” The friends all cried in horror, springing into action. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were the first, bracing their hooves and all the athletic might in their bodies against the slab, followed by the glow of Rarity’s magic.

“Harder!” Rainbow Dash gasped, her voice already scratchier than usual without Twilight’s bubble. “Harder, dangit!”

“I’m liftin’ as hard as I can!” Applejack spat.

“Pardon me if I’m a mare of finesse, not brute force!” Rarity said, her magic flickering as they tried to budge the humongous block.

“PERHAPS I CAN BE OF ASSISTANCE!?” Pinkie called, her massive robotic form stepping over Rarity, her party cannons bracing under the edge of the block. The ponies all blinked in surprise, as if they’d just now remembered that they had a giant robot made out of pulleys and Pink helping them, then they immediately set back to work, throwing all their might into moving the massive block. To their immense relief, it slowly began to grind into the air.

“It’s…working…” Pinkie gasped through gritted teeth.

“Keep it up!” Applejack screamed, her muscles straining through her coat as she worked to force the block up and over her head, every breath coming almost as a relief as it forced the block up a little higher, even while the air burned her lungs and filled her head with fuzzy darkness.

Sweat beat down Pinkie’s forehead as she strained with the levers in her hooves. Before long, she could make out a tip of a purple hoof, then a leg, and of course, a starburst cutie mark. A grin played across her muzzle. “I see her!” She gasped.

The strain grew that much more as Rarity’s magic left the block, instead wrapping around Twilight’s exposed leg and dragging her free. The moment the unconscious unicorn was clear, Applejack and Rainbow Dash fell back, their bodies spent, their breath wheezing and hacking. Of course, without the extra help, the block came crashing down, right on top of the party cannons making up Pinkie’s robot arms.

“Ahhhhhh!” She screamed, her chest burning with each breath. “My hoooooooovvvees! My hooves are stuck! I’m gonna diiiieee! I’m gonna hafta cut ‘em off to escaaaape! Oh Celestia above I’m not ready for James Franco to make a movie about me!”

“Pinkie!” Rarity shouted with a glare, breathing heavily, even as coughing jags rocked her little marshmallow frame. “The robot’s arms…are trapped…not yours!”

“Oh, yeah.” She giggled, slipping out of the escape hatch beneath the robot’s body and sliding down one bent leg. She skid along the tile to join her friends. The group all smiled in relief, even as another series of cracks raced across the ceiling.

“Time to go,” Dash wheezed, and they all galloped out the door, sliding into the hallway among the crying hatchlings with Twilight’s unconscious body carried between them. A split second later, the ceiling gave way with a roar, followed by the crash of the floor lifting away, the entire room collapsing behind them and crashing into the burrowed tunnel with an avalanche of crystal.

“I…I suppose Twilight…didn’t factor in…a large, magically-induced fire...when keeping in structural integrity…for the tunnel…” Rarity panted between grateful breaths of fresh air.

“Jeez, n-no kidding,” Rainbow Dash said, pushing herself up on shaking hooves. She shook her head. “Ugh, now I got a headache. That was really hard.”

Pinkie chortled between deep, gasping breaths. “That’s what…” she giggled. “That’s what…she…”

A green blast exploded against the back of her head. She fell unconscious, eyes swirling. “Pinkie!” The friends gasped, all too late to react to the cascading series of magical impacts against them. The next one threw Rainbow Dash to the floor, sending her spinning and narrowly avoiding a group of hatchlings. Rarity desperately threw up a shield, but between the surprise of the sudden attack and the spinning in her head from smoke inhalation, it barely even qualified as paper-thin. The little bubble of crystalline magic shattered under the next barrage, snapping in a burst that blasted her horn and threw her head back.

Applejack stood, glaring down the hall at their assailants. “You ain’t gonna take muh—“ she managed before a pair of green bolts slammed into her face. “Muh—“ she managed again, her eyes whirling as another salvo slammed into her, forcing her back on stumbling hooves. “Muh…friends…” she trailed off, her emerald eyes slowly sliding shut.

As her consciousness faded, she watched a pair of large, muscular changeling stallions trot casually towards her, side-stepping the screaming hatchlings on the floor. They were armored, like guards, but this armor was different from normal guard armor. It was pointier, and fit to them, like it had been custom-fitted for their bodies.

“Well then,” one of the changelings hissed as her eyes slowly slid shut. “Isn’t this convenient?”

Author's Notes:

HOBOY! Bet nobody thought Petalgrown was gonna lose it like that, huh?

Chapter XL: A Loss of Hope

If there was a way to paint the very concept of hopelessness, odds are that painting would resemble Bait in the care of the changeling medics. Holding a blanket tight around his shoulders, he nursed the small cup of coffee he’d been granted and forced back a choking sob.

“Easy there, son,” the Praetorian beside him whispered, his custom-fit armor clanking as he lifted a hoof to pat his back. “You been through a lot.”

“Yeah,” Bait sighed, taking another sip of his coffee. “Most of it my own stupid fault, though.” Surprisingly, the Praetorian gave his back a light pat before trotting off. Bait looked up to watch him go, then went back to staring miserably into the black drink sloshing around in his hooves. A shiver raced up his spine, and definitely not from any cold. The horror they’d nearly dodged, how unthinkable it was, he couldn’t even describe it.

His gaze drifted to the small bundles being taken up by changeling nurses; the hatchlings being carried to safety. An entire generation, nearly crushed by his own gullibility. Still, to think that anypony could be capable of trying something so evil, of trying to kill an entire nursery full of hatchlings…to think that Pinkie could be capable…

His heart wrenched. He didn’t want to believe it, yet there it was. The nursery, a shattered ruin of what once was. An arm of the Party Cannon Mk. II remained outstretched from under a massive slab of rock, covered in burn marks. Apparently, she’d tried to fight once it became clear the Praetorians were going to block her escape. But after that, to think that she would try to destroy the nursery as a distraction, it was unthinkable!

“They’re lying!” Bait cringed at the high-pitched voice that rose over the din of rescue personnel and rallied guards. He didn’t want to look. Tried to force himself to keep from looking. Then, his chin lifted and he looked. Just across the way Pinkie and the rest of her friends, horns and wings covered in goop and hooves all shackled in a long line, were being led away by a full-strength squad of Praetorians. Five of the ponies held themselves low, keeping their eyes on the ground. Only Pinkie still fought, straining at her chains.

“They’re lying!” She gasped. “Let us go! Let us go now!”

A large shape glided up to Bait’s side, then plopped itself down beside him. He didn’t need to turn to know who it was. “Damn, we messed this up, didn’t we?” Switch chortled, but Bait heard the way his voice wavered.

Bait rested a hoof on his friend’s side. “Dude, no need to front. It hurts. I know.”

There were a few moments of silence, then the dribble of tears pattering to the floor. “I thought…” Switch sniffled. “I-I thought…”

“I know, man, I know,” Bait pressed into his friend’s side.

“We’re innocent!” Pinkie kept yelling, forcing Bait to cringe even further. “We were set up! They don’t know what really happened here, they’re lying!”

“Oh?” The massive frame of Queen Chrysalis sailed overhead, her wings beating in syncopation with the private guards around her. She landed beside the train of imprisoned ponies, the guards only stopping to salute her. Her eyes glared an emerald green at the captured group, her fangs baring. “Then what, pray tell, did happen here?” She asked, her voice a dangerous, low hiss.

The whole group of ponies cowered back, Pinkie among them. But always the leader, Twilight managed to step forward. She shivered where she stood, and as she spoke the fearful quiver only became more obvious, but still, she spoke: “Chrysalis…your highness…while our two races may not have ever gotten along on the best of terms, we would never harm an infant, regardless of species. We’re supposed to be paragons of virtue, for Celestia’s…” she gulped at the slip of her tongue. “…for goodness’ sake!”

“Oh? So my Praetorians, my elite guard, my most loyal and trusted soldiers, are lying to me?” Chrysalis waved a leg out over to the small group of elites gathered nearby, watching their every move. “You’re saying the flames and destruction weren’t purposefully triggered by you? That the collapsed tunnel we found coated with destruction runes bearing your magical signature wasn’t your fault!? That the robot bearing the pink one’s cutie mark amidst the debris is a plant!?”

“No…no, not all of that…we…” Twilight shook her head, her eyes tearing up. “We didn’t want to hurt anypony.”

“That’s right. Anypony,” Chrysalis spat. “That means changelings are just free game, huh?”

“N-no…that’s not…” Twilight trailed off.

Chrysalis spat at the mares’ hooves. Her voice trailed out in a low hiss. “I’ve heard enough. I knew we were hated by your kind, but to go to such lengths to hurt us...to attack a nursery with fire…”

She trailed off, turning away from the group. “Get them out of my sight before I do something permanent.”

Twilight said nothing, her head bowing as the train of guards picked up with another series of hisses. Pinkie seemed to be the only one unwilling to simply go with it. “Wait, no…” she gasped, scanning the cold, harsh eyes around her. “We wouldn’t…it’s not like that!”

Still suppressing tears, Bait knew the smart thing would have been to turn away, to find something else to do. Still, he couldn’t help keeping his eyes on her for every moment he could, knowing exactly why and cursing himself for it. He wanted to turn away before that pink gaze fell on him, wanted to duck out, but there was no avoiding it. He shrank back as she finally found him. “Bait, Bait!” She gasped, galloping to the end of her chains, not even minding the spear-wielding guards who prodded their weapons against her back or the shackles that dug into her fetlocks.

Bait shook his head, trying to turn away, head lowered.

“This isn’t us! You know that! Please! We wouldn’t do this!” Pinkie shrieked. She bit her lip, tears brimming in her eyes. “Baity! Tell them! Tell them you believe us!”

Something dark and ugly reared up in his heart. “I did believe you,” he replied, his muzzle wrinkled and his fangs bared, his eyes not lifting to meet hers. “Once.”

Her face fell, the tiny gleam of hope in her eyes fading as her mane swiftly deflated. “No…Bait…” she gasped, finally going limp in the guards’ grasp and allowing herself to be carried away.

He let out a shivering breath, almost falling against Switch, still watching the rapidly-deflating shock of pink mane as it trotted away. “Still can’t believe…” he choked, the tears finally breaking through the dam. “Still can’t believe they…”

“S’alright dude,” Switch said, his own tears flowing as he scooped the smaller changeling up and started carrying him down the opposite hall. “I know.”

As they wandered off, one changeling broke away from the rest of the crowd. “Mr. Bait, sir!”

Bait looked up from his friend’s grip. The newcomer cleared his throat awkwardly, raising one hoof in salute.

“I...know this isn’t a good time, but I was sent to let you know that the interrogators in the lower levels will be finishing up soon. You will be expected to make your investigation soon.” The changeling said, keeping one leg up in salute.

“Wha-oh, right, the investigation,” Switch sighed. The other ‘ling was right, this was a bad time. Right then, Bait just wanted to curl up in bed and try to sleep for a week. But he knew he’d never get the time. “Just…let’s give it a few days, alright? I need to settle a bunch of stuff after today’s...incident.”

“Sir!” The changeling thrust his chest out. “Your majesty also wishes to know if you’ve selected any other members for your special investigation team!”

After a moment’s thought, a thin smile crossed his muzzle. He prodded the bigger changeling’s chest. Switch managed a chuckle as he rolled his eyes. “I think I could free up some time, yeah,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I’ve got one other guy selected for my squad,” Bait chuckled back.

“Excellent!” The newcomer finally lowered his hoof and started trotting away.

“Um, before you go,” Bait called after the changeling. “Do you know what’s gonna happen to those mares? The ones that were captured just now?”

“Sir!” The changeling swiveled around, snapping back into a salute. “The prisoners will be kept in stasis pods in the dungeon alongside the princess! However, the plan is for them to be transported to the Hive following the successful evacuation of the Empire in preparations for their trial in the Badlands!”

“A trial in the Badlands,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You hear that, Switch? Looks like they’re comin’ with us after all.”

“Wooh.” The bigger changeling murmured, looking away with dead eyes and a quivering lip.

After a moment, however, another changeling galloped up and whispered into the newcomer’s ear. He somehow managed to stand even straighter. “Sir! As the Swarm’s top investigator, we thought it might interest you to see the things we uncovered in the rubble!”

Bait looked up, his face an exhausted deadpan. “Eh...sure. Might as well.” He said, shrugging off his blanket and standing to follow the recruit through what was left of the nursery. Switch galloped up beside him, staying perfectly in step without a single word needing to be exchanged. Bait felt a blooming of the same gratitude he felt upon seeing the larger changeling take on a manticore for his sake, but said nothing.

“You can always tell who the greenhorns are, eh?” Switch chuckled as he motioned to the recruit trotting just ahead of them.

“Oh yeah,” Bait chuckled back, throwing his hoof up in mock salutes while whispering: “Sir! Sir! Sir! S--”

His and Switch’s laughter faded as soon as they walked through the door and into the nursery. A gaping hole allowed sunlight to stream through where the roof had collapsed, already partially sealed-over with goop and highlighted by a scorched pile of shattered crystal. The burnt and scattered remnants of wood and goop that had once been a series of cribs filled Bait’s eyes and forced a slight twist into his heart, reminding him how close they had all come to total disaster. At his hooves, he gazed down at a burnt corner of blue fabric, once a colt’s blankie.

He took a seat amidst the ashes, trying very hard not to cry. A moment later, Switch sat next to him.

“Sir!” The rookie stated with another quick salute. “We found something over here!”

“Yeah?” Bait pushed himself to his hooves. “Sure, what’s that?”

“We were hoping you could identify this,” as the rookie spoke, he pointed to a massive stone slab, currently hoisted up in a large block-and-tackle system. Underneath, a series of ropes and a pile of scrap wood lay crumbled. Bait recognized it immediately. It was hard to forget a ten-foot robot that shot you in the face, even with the cockpit crushed and all four limbs amputated down to shattered, wooden stubs.

“Yeah,” he said finally, breathing in a large amount of dust as he looked at it. “I know what it is.”

“What would you like done with it?” The recruit snapped up another ramrod-straight salute.

Oh, Bait knew what he wanted done with it, alright. He wanted it blown to smithereens, then have the smithereens blown to smaller smithereens, then burn the whole thing over with fire, then pack the ashes into dog food to be fed to timberwolves, then blow up the timberwolves. Every moment he drank it in, from its pink paint job to the three-balloon cutie mark emblazoned on its side that he’d spent at least one night getting to know all-to-well, was like a thorn pricking into his heart, and he should have just turned around with a casual “Destroy it” tossed over his shoulder.

Except when he raised his hoof to give the order, no words came out. He tried to force them out, to no avail. His vision doubled, then quadrupled as he realized he couldn’t do anything against her, not even a representation of her. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Even after betrayal, even after something so monstrous, he just couldn’t.

“Have it brought to the kitchen,” he finally said, quietly. “I need to figure out how this was assembled.”

“Yes sir,” the recruit nodded, snapped off a final salute for good measure, then marched off to ensure Bait’s will was done. He let out a long sigh of relief, even as Switch cleared his throat beside him.

“You sure that’s...” he coughed. “That’s such...a good idea to...”

“No,” Bait said, sparing himself the rest of the sentence. “But it’s all I can do right now.”

There was a moment of silent understanding. “Got it,” Switch confirmed, returning to staring straight ahead. After a while, he stood up and wandered off, followed closely by Switch, neither knowing the whole time they’d been watched by the Praetorians in the room, who shared a single, silent nod and carefully-hidden grins as they walked away.

Chapter XLI: A Few Days Later

For the fifth time in the past two days, Bait set out to destroy the machine salvaged from the ruins of the Nursery.

For the fifth time in the past two days, he wound up staring at it while wondering how long he could hold out before he inevitably went for the bottle of booze in the pantry. Of course, ponies knew that stuff as “cooking sherry,” most didn’t know what that kind of sugar did to changelings, especially since the small amounts used in cooking usually didn’t do anything. At least, most ponies used small amounts.

Pinkie didn’t.

He got up. Paced from one wall to the other. At the back of the pantry laid two discarded bottles from the previous day, and damn if it didn’t look like he’d be guzzling two more.

He paced back, turned, paced, growled, snapped at the air, turned back to the ruins of the robot, hissed, and turned back to the door. Something ignited in his chest. “This is all your damn fault, you know?” He whispered to himself. Hot tears dribbled down his cheeks, staining them a low fuchsia. “All your own fuckin’ fault. An Element Bearer, what were you thinking!?”

He paced, turned a corner. “What, that she wasn’t playing you? That she cared about some no-name soldier for the enemy? Stupid. So damn stupid. She even said it herself!”

He turned again, this time a hind leg lashed out to buck the wall, earning a scratch in the crystal and a ringing sensation of pain up to his flank. “AHHHHHH, just two consenting adults she said! She practically screamed she wasn’t interested, and…and I still…”

He sniffled. His head sank. The tears changed to lime-green.

Time to find that extra bottle of sherry.

He turned back to the machine. “I’ll get to ya later,” he grumbled, wiping the tears off his cheeks and reaching to one of the shelves. He had just gotten his hooves around the neck of the bottle when there was a knock at the door.

Grumbling, he trudged out of the pantry and threw it open. “What?” He spat.

A Praetorian stood there, gazing at him unimpressed. “Your interrogation is today.”

It took a few minutes for the cogs in Bait’s head to switch to a higher gear and form a response. “The…prisoner? The one captured from the other night?”

“Indeed.” The Praetorian’s nostrils flared and he sniffed, though he instantly regretted it based on the way his mouth twitched. Of course, that could also have been thanks to his gaze finally finding the bottle in Bait’s hoof. “Of course, this can be delayed if you wish to handle some…personal hygiene first.”

Bait tilted his head at the odd statement at first, then it clicked. “Ah…no thanks, I’d rather just get going. I still gotta get my partner.”

“Your…partner?”

“Well, he is the only other guy who’s part of my team, right?” Bait waved the larger stallion off. “Just gimme a second here.”

The Praetorian’s muzzle gave another twinge of distaste, but he nodded. Bait just grinned and saluted before turning away to replace the bottle. This guy really thought he was hot shit, but really, you just had to know how to handle them. Of course, Bait thought he knew that already the night one of them rammed a dagger into his shoulder.

Thought he knew that much about Pinkie, too.

Shaking his head, Bait ducked inside to set the bottle back where he’d found it, taking a few cursory sniffs of the chitin under his forelegs. His muzzle wrinkled. Okay, maybe he did have time for a shower.

Later, though. Right now, it was about time he got in touch with his nearest and dearest friend.

Fluttershy had tried to kill the hatchlings.

Well, maybe not her personally, but would it really make it any better if she’d done nothing except weakly protest as her friends set fire to the nursery?

Switch bit his lip until neon green blood oozed out around his fangs. He didn’t know. Hell, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know: whether she’d actively helped fan the flames, or if she just sat in the corner with little more than meek protests as her friends hurried her away.

His bite grew harder, tighter on his lip. He still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the picture of Fluttershy being involved with something so heinous, but damn if that picture didn’t seem at least a little convincing. In fact, didn’t it make sense that she might have been communicating with her friends somehow? And that was how they’d even busted in? Could it be her affection for changeling young had just been a trick to make sure she was around the nursery all the time, and therefore easier to find?

Was everything he thought he knew about the pegasus a lie?

Warm smile next to him on the bench, telling him it would all be okay, a hoof wrapping around his. A mare you could absolutely see yourself spending the rest of your life with, if only to see that smile every day…

“Mister?”

Switch snapped to attention, hooves flailing. He gazed down at the tiny foal at his hooves, the smaller changeling tilting their head at him. “Jason…” he gasped, thumping his chest once or twice. “Shoulda known.”

“Mister Switch? Are you hurt?”

He cocked his head at the foal. “What makes you ask?”

“You’re cryin’. And you got blood on you.”

“Oh…” Switch casually wiped at the blood on his lip, then at the tears he hadn’t realized had been streaking down his cheeks. “Naw kid, I’m good. Just thinking about something sad.”

“Izzit about Miss Fluttershy?”

Switch swallowed a lump the size of the Crystal Palace before answering: “What makes you ask?”

“’Cuz we miss her too,” Jason said, his ears folding down. Switch blinked, finally looking over the playroom he’d found himself in for the evening. In place of the usual foals running around and messing with stolen pony toys, he was surrounded by a bunch of foals barely moving. In one corner, a pair of colts lazily rolled a ball between them. A filly laid on her back in the middle of the floor, face up and hooves spread out as a ladybug skittered along her shell. The majority of the foals had taken up one wall, simply leaning against it while playing half-hearted games of Simon Says and Twenty Questions that seemed to end just as they began.

Switch sat up, blinking in awe. Was he really so oblivious he hadn’t noticed that most of the foals were ready to break down in tears? “What’s going on, Jase?” He gasped.

“We just…kinda miss Miss Fluttershy,” the foal said, rubbing one hoof over the other. “The big guards that came in said we weren’t gonna be seeing her again. We know she did something bad, but ponies do bad stuff all the time, right? How come we can’t see her again just for one bad thing?”

Switch heaved in a long breath. “Jason, it was—“ he looked at the foal’s overlarge eyes locked on him, then let out another sigh. “It’s complicated grown-up stuff, okay? I’m sure Miss Fluttershy misses you very much, but as of right now it’s so complicated the Queen has decided it’d be better if we just kept her away from other changelings for a little while. You don’t wanna question Queen Chrysalis, do you?”

That did it. Invoking Chrysalis usually got foals to back down, and this time was no exception. Jason frowned, wrinkled up his muzzle in defiance, but eventually just grumbled, “No…”

“Attaboy,” Switch said with a thin smile. “We’ll sort this all out, you go ahead and play with your friends, alright? They look like they could use some cheering up.”

“I guess.” Jason sighed, trudging off.

Switch sat up, stretched himself, grimaced when a muscle in his back seized up from how long he’d been sitting in that one place. Chrysalis, he could use a walk--

There was a knock at the door.

Arching an eyebrow, he waved the nymphs back and walked over to answer it. “This is the playpen, you better have a good reason for—oh.”

Bait stared up at him with a sheepish smile. Behind him was a Praetorian looking off in the distance with an empty, bored expression. “Hey...pal...” Bait said.

“Uh...hey.” Switch replied, looking around like he wanted so desperately to be anywhere else. The Praetorian didn’t even look at him. He sighed, looked to his friend. “I’m sorry, did you just come to hang out? I mean, I’d like that, but you know there’s not supposed to be anyone in the play area besides--”

“No, no, I just...you remember the special action team I had, right?” Bait flashed that fake, pasted-on grin. “For...the trafficking ring?”

Switch blinked, then sucked in a breath. A foreleg covered his face. “That interrogation was today, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah...” Bait’s smile waned as he kicked at one of the tiles. “Look, if you’re busy...”

“It’s not that, I need to just...” Switch sighed and turned to the Praetorian. “Can ya watch the foals?”

The Praetorian looked shocked, stunned even. “I...uh...what?”

“I can’t leave this place without a guardian, there needs to be a stallion in here at all times, 24/7, especially after what happened with Flutt--” he paused, cleared his throat, “--what happened with the previous caretaker.”

“But...I...” the Praetorian looked back and forth, obviously trying to think of some excuse. Jeez, nymphsitting wasn’t that bad, was it? “I’m supposed to escort the special-action team members around!”

“S’alright,” Bait replied. “We’ve got this. If anything, you’ll be serving a better purpose here.”

“But...I...” the stallion’s eyes darted around, but finally, he let out a long, resigned sigh. “Of course, sirs. Of course.”

The Praetorian trotted past Switch, shooting a look at the pair that could curdle milk. “Good luck on your investigation, sirs,” he grumbled before slamming the door hard enough to nearly spank Switch’s flank.

“Jeez, must not like kids,” he muttered, scoffing.

“Guess so,” Bait shrugged, already trotting off down the hallway.

Switch easily caught up with his longer stride, looking around, eyes resting everywhere but on Bait. “So...” he said. “How you been holding up?”

“In the kitchen, surrounded by booze?” Bait grimaced. “Pretty much about as well as you’d think.”

“Shit man, you haven’t been...drinking this entire time, have you?”

“No, I got lucid moments,” Bait sighed, eyes going to the stained glass lining the hallways, now totally covered in slime. “On occasion...just until I try to destroy that damn robot.”

“Destroy it? Weren’t you supposed to study it?”

“Nothing to study. Pulleys, cannons, and ropes, assembled together right under my nose.” Bait shook his head. “It should be easy. Hell, the fire did half the job for me.”

“But it’s not. Easy, I mean.”

“No.”

“And you know why.”

A long pause. Bait still didn’t turn to face his friend. “Yes.”

Silence.

“Well, you doin’ any better?” Bait asked finally.

“Only because I don’t have easy access to booze,” Switch chuckled. “And it helps I have a reason to try to keep a straight face. For the nymphs.”

“Chrysalis above, the nymphs. That can’t be easy.”

“It’s not.”

“They miss her?”

“Yeah.”

A few more moments of nothing but their hooves on the tile. “They miss her as much as you?”

“Probably not.”

More trotting along.

“I thought--” Switch finally said, breaking the silence. His breath hitched. He sniffled. “Goddammit, not again.”

“I know,” Bait finally turned around, revealing the teal tears trailing down his cheeks. “Look, we just gotta keep up a good facade for this, okay? Nobody’s gonna confess to a couple pussies whimpering about the mares what broke their hearts.”

“I know,” Switch sniffed, sighed, shook his head, and straightened up. “I know.”

Chapter XLII: Prisoner Interrogation Reversed

By some incredible feat of iron will, Bait and Switch strode into the interrogation room with the confidence of trained military stallions. Backs straight, hooves in marching sync, and most importantly, cheeks dry.

A pair of Praetorians awaited them, facing the one-way glass. Bait could still hardly be made to care, not even noticing the pristine artisanal glass formed by some pony’s hooves a millennia ago…

Oh, look at that. A distraction.

He chuckled to himself as he crossed the room, selling the whole ‘hardened military stallion’ thing quite well, if he did say so himself. “The prisoner has been prepped and readied?” He asked.

“Of course, sir,” one of the Praetorians motioned to the glass. On the other side, a lone stallion sat, shackled to one end of a long table. With original, foundry-made shackles, most likely. Shoot, to even be using those was almost a crime…

“Good work,” he said quickly, hoping he was selling this as well as he thought he was. “And…thank you.”

“Of course sir,” the Praetorian on the right nodded firmly. “And may I offer my apologies on behalf of all of us. I promise, none of us had a clue something like this could happen in our own ranks.”

Bait nodded, offering a rare smile. He got a nod back, though without the smile. Letting out a breath, he trotted over to the door standing between him and the prisoner. He inhaled. Exhaled. Finally, something real, something not born from the fever dreams of “The Irate!”

Shouldn’t he have been happier? Or at least, somewhat looking forward to it?

He grunted, gave himself a quick smack across the face to psych himself up, and walked into the cell. The prisoner looked up. “Ahh, pipsqueak,” he said with a grin, hooves folded amidst the chains before him. “How’s the shoulder?”

Bait paused, grimaced. “Healing,” he replied as he took his seat across from the other changeling. “Can I getcha anything before we start? Water? A maggot-snack?”

“Start?” The prisoner chuckled. “Start what?”

Bait deadpanned. “You know damn well what.”

The prisoner kept up that shit-eating smile, the kind that begged for a hammer and a chisel to wipe it away. “Enlighten me.”

Bait inhaled. “I wanna know who you work for, where you’re from, and what you had planned for those ponies. If you have partners or know anyone else that’s a part of this, I want to know about them too. Hideouts, contacts: if the kindly old mare who lets you use her basement to plot out more kidnappings has a dog, I wanna know its breed. I want everything you’ve got, and then some, and only when I know I have it will I even consider walking away.”

“Just what makes you think I have even half of what you want?”

Bait sat there, glaring levelly at the other changeling.

“And even if I did,” the prisoner paused to casually study his hoof. “Why would I just give it all to you?”

“Oh, I didn’t figure you’d just give it to me,” Bait said, arching a bit of chitin where an eyebrow would be. “You’re acting like this is my first rodeo.”

“The way you carried yourself in here, I guessed it was.”

“Oh, pardon me,” Bait chuckled as he rose from his chair, circling around the table. The prisoner’s little smile wavered as he approached, stopping right at the side of his chair. Bait paused there, held up a hoof, studied it. Then, with little warning, he jammed a hooftip deep into the prisoner’s thigh, flexing the chitin right above a pressure point. It was a testament to Praetorian training that this only elicited a minor grimace. Many others, pony and changeling alike, that Bait tried this exact move against had immediately fallen, screaming in pain. Even Switch had pissed himself just the tiniest bit when Bait had first learned it and decided the larger stallion would make for perfect practice.

The Praetorian just hissed, straightened up, and glared down at him. “For that,” he growled. “I kill your mother. Painfully and slowly.”

“It’ll be entertaining to watch ya try,” Bait mused, massaging a hoof over the spot. “You and I know you’re not goin’ anywhere.”

“Don’t count on that.”

Bait huffed and took a step back, letting the prisoner get a little breathing room. “Let’s start with something simple,” he hissed. “Where are you keeping ‘em?”

“Up yours!”

Another jab, this time to a point on the shoulder. That hit earned Bait a wince. “Yeah, shoulder shots hurt like a bastard, don’t they?” He asked sarcastically before turning away. “I can do this all day, I just want to know: where are you keeping them!?”

“Why, think you can mount a rescue mission for another pretty little thing to suck you off?” The prisoner spat through a pained grimace. “Got it bad for the ponies now, huh!?”

Bait’s eye twitched. If the prisoner knew how much of a mistake that particular insult had been, he didn’t show it.

With a roar, Bait’s hoof smashed into the prisoner’s muzzle, tossing him back. Gripping him by the back of the neck, Bait glared right into his face. “You look here, asshole! We got nothing but time on our hooves out here, so if you wanna see how many ways I know to hurt you, just keep it the hell up!”

The prisoner spat again, this time drawing green ichor. “So tell me,” he chuckled. “You gonna save yourself a pegasus? Or will it be a nice little unicorn this time? Think she’ll do the job? Swoon into your hooves when it’s all said and done?”

“I’m saving everyone you’ve…” Bait paused, trailed off. His grip loosened on the prisoner. He took a step back. Unicorn.

His mind flashed with a dozen faces and a dozen names, ponies that had walked off into the night to never be seen again. One thing stood out to him: the total lack of unicorns.

No…

No, that wasn’t right…

The prisoner glared. “What the hell’re you…”

Maintaining the façade, Bait snorted, righted the prisoner in his chair, and circled back around to the other side of the table, even as his mind whirled. “Do you have any idea of right from wrong?” He hissed, keeping his head low to keep his furrowed brow hidden. Internally, he winced at himself, pissed for coming up with such an awkward statement, but his thoughts were going too fast to come up with anything better.

The prisoner sneered. “What’s right? Being soft to the ponies that deny us what we need to live!?”

He continued ranting as the threads in Bait’s mind came together. No, no unicorns at all, which made sense considering the fight they could put up. You’d need more than just a few stallions to take a pony like that down without anypony noticing, so of course no unicorns were taken.

Unless you factored in ponies that disappeared during the invasion. Ponies he’d dismissed out of hoof at the time as being simple battle casualties. His head spun with names: Heartmend, Ultraviolet, Midnight Sprinkle, all ponies that had vanished in the chaos of the invasion, all should have popped up eventually.

But had any of them?

“I meant…like, about holding love from the swarm,” he hissed. “The swarm you took an oath to protect.”

“That’s right, and what do I get for it?” The prisoner snorted, looked away dismissively, but he wasn’t being dismissive.

He was lying. He was playing a part.

Something else was going on here. The unicorns…the ponies all over the city that had vanished in the wake of the invasion…how many? Dozens. All vanished in a very short amount of time from distances impossible to cross without teleporting. There was also a good reason to dismiss them out of hoof: a small group of criminals couldn’t hope to pull something that broad off.

He sneered, masking his frustration as he leaned over the table. “What’re you hiding?”

The prisoner narrowed his eyes. Bait was barely in the room anymore. He was mostly back in the kitchen, studying the map that had grown dusty with days of neglect. He was pushing pins back in, the ones he’d pulled out for being too far from other spots, too close to the invasion date where he could simply say they were normal casualties of the battle. But if he stuck the pins back in…what picture did it make?

It made a larger, more terrifying picture than he’d ever imagined. It didn’t give him the image of a few rogues, and instead he was looking down the barrel of a large, militaristic organization, one coordinated enough to carry out multiple kidnappings amidst the chaos of an invasion, and disciplined enough to keep them smuggled away in hiding. An organized force of highly-trained individuals, working towards a single goal, exactly like…like…

His eyes widened. “Like the Praetorians.”

The prisoner’s smile faded into a low scowl.

Bait gazed at the one-way glass and, too late, realized his mistake. “Welp!” He enthused with a too-large grin, “I just remembered I should really get to blowing up that big evil robot thing the ponies used in their escape attempt!” He strode towards the door. “I think I’ll just be…”

A couple of too-loud clicks sounded. Bait paused with his hoof on the doorknob, turned, swallowed.

The prisoner was standing on the table now, shackles gone, advancing with his head low and wings fanned out behind him. “That’s your problem, runt,” he hissed. “Too damn smart for your own good.”

Bait sighed, turned back to the door. “Always been my problem, actually.”

With a roar, the former prisoner leapt off the table, mouth gaped wide, fangs aimed at Bait’s jugular. He clenched just as he thought he would be dropping on Bait’s neck…and felt nothing but thin air in his fangs.

“Buh…” he had time to mutter before an uppercut rocketed into his throat. Thrown off, he slammed headfirst into the door, rolling over on his back, coughing and trying desperately to hold back vomit.

“Chrysalis above, buddy,” Bait said, smiling as his magical doppelganger faded away with a little spark of his horn. “You’re really gonna fall for the same shit twice?”

The changeling on the ground could only wheeze, sounding like a broken scuba tank.

Bait frowned down at the guy, then his eyes widened. “Switch!” He gasped. He pounded at the door, scrabbling with the knob. “Switch! The Praetorians are—“

That’s all he managed to get out before the one-way glass shattered, two black shapes flying through and upending the table. The prisoner craned his head, and could only make another gagging noise as his brothers-in-arms fell in an unconscious pile on the floor.

A moment later, Switch stepped through the glass, breath heaving in and out of his massive frame, ichor dribbling down along his cheek from a deep gash across his forehead. “I’m getting really sick and goddamned tired of people trying to kill me!” He shouted.

“Aww, dude,” Bait groaned. “Didja hafta smash the glass, too!? That stuff was almost an antique!”

Switch glared at him. “Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking!” He bellowed.

“Yeah...shit, sorry man, I--” Bait paused, watched Switch’s eyes widen.

“Bait, get d--”

That’s all Bait needed to hear before he ducked. A couple of whistles sounded right over his head. A tiny breeze went over his ear. Cringing, he hit the ground, rolled. More whistles sounded. Tiny clatters of metal. Switch leapt over him. Pivoted. Slammed into the fallen table and bucked a leg hard enough to send it flying. He landed at Bait’s side behind their newfound cover as another series of whistles sounded.

Switch grimaced as he laid next to Bait, their breaths heaving. “Shit, man...” he grumbled.

Bait finally turned to look over the small, metal darts their assailants were using. “Yeah...Praetorian long-range stuff. Figures.”

“Got any idea where that’s coming from?”

Switch looked up at the shattered remnants of the mirror and squinted. In one particularly-large shard in the corner, he could just make out a black line: a slat in the wall he knew for a fact hadn’t been there before. “Ten degrees, north-northwest, oriented to...” he trailed off, searched the wall, found a reference point. “...that blemish in front of us, right in the crystal? The one shaped like a mare’s flank?”

“I see it,” Switch snickered. “And it’s shaped like a heart, you li’l pervert.”

Bait chuckled, but his face grew stoic. “Next move?”

“There’s only one of ‘em that can fit in that slat. Probably his buddies were meant to finish us off and he’s just a failsafe.” Switch grimaced. “He’s gotta pause to grab more darts sooner or later.”

As if on cue, there was a pause in the dart-throwing, and the slat narrowed slightly. “Now!” He screamed, and threw his shoulder as hard as he could against the table. Bait followed suit, winced, scolded himself for throwing his bad shoulder against the solid wood, but pressed on, the shoulder screaming in pain all the while.

The table practically flew across the room, pivoting along one wall. Screaming battle cries, they charged the last couple open feet between them and the slat. There was another whistle. Bait felt a line being torn across his cheek, and then they slammed against the slat as hard as they could, gambling that it was an opening to a door, and that the door opened inward.

The gamble paid off. The secret passage burst open beneath their combined weight. “Shit!” The changeling on the other side swore, another dart already in his hoof. In one deft move, Bait grabbed the assassin’s fetlock and twisted as hard as he could. The other changeling screamed in pain as the familiar, dry sound of bones snapping filled the air, accompanied with the crack of chitin bending away. Then Switch was upon him, a tidal wave of muscle that smashed the other changeling’s face into the far wall.

Gasping for breath, Bait straightened up. Switch gasped alongside him, looming over the unconscious changeling. He gave the guy another kick in the head for good measure.

“That’ll keep him down,” Bait said, smiling. “The Irate my ass...how about we go back there and make sure the rest of ‘em sleep for a good, long time?”

“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem, dude.” Switch replied, his head craned back to the entrance to the cave.

“What’re you...” Bait turned back, saw that the floor to the interrogation chamber was covered in a heavy layer of ichor, and realized only some of the darts had been meant for him and his partner. “Oh...oh Maker above...” he grimaced, turning away. “Their own stallions...”

“Praetorians are cold bastards, you know that,” Switch grumbled, though his tone dripped with disgust. Turning away from the door, he looked around the tiny cavern, peering into the darkness. “The hell is this place, anyway?”

“My guess? Some shit the Praetorians discovered and repurposed.” Bait grimaced, thinking back to the Canterlot heist he’d pulled off with his partner way back in the day. Before the Empire, before everything, when they had pulled off a heist in Canterlot to wild success: stealing the original plans for the sewers under the Empire. “Damn...and I think I know how they found it.”

“Well, no use crying over it now,” Switch pointed down the tunnel. “Whaddya think’s down there?”

“I have no idea,” Bait said, stomping forward. “But I know we’re gonna find out.”

Grumbling, Switch trudged on, deeper into the darkness, away from the light of the room. The journey through the tunnels was long, dark, and arduous. They couldn’t light their horns for fear of being discovered, but they were able to keep themselves going through sense of touch and a few light drafts that touched their chitin, keeping themselves faced into a breeze in the hopes that it would lead somewhere interesting.

Their hopes paid off.

“Holy. Shit.” Bait muttered, peering out of their cavern with eyes the size of dinner plates. Below them, at least a solid battalion of Praetorians toiled around a massive pool, around which was a series of large containers. Every now and again, one of the containers would leak some green fluid into the pool, which both recognized immediately.

“It’s a love pool,” Bait gasped, gazing over the eerie, green surface. “Just like home.”

“No, bigger,” Switch said, his eyes trailing all around the humongous cavern. “More ponies here than home.”

“That’s what those capsules must be for...” Bait trailed off, looking back the way they came, at the tunnels branching off. “You suppose those go to other parts of the dungeon?”

“Or other parts of the city,” Switch said thoughtfully. “They could move captured ponies around totally undetected...Maker above…”

“We gotta tell the Queen about this,” Bait gasped.

“No duh.”

The pair turned on their hooves, dashing back the way they came. This time, they lit their horns to hurry, knowing time was officially of the essence. Bait ran in the eerie green glow of his horn, eyes only darting around to ensure each rushing shadow wasn’t a Praetorian lying in wait, ears pointed forward to capture any sound coming from ahead. Suddenly, he paused, holding up a hoof to bring his partner to a screeching halt.

“Dude, what...” Switch started.

“Sshhhh...hush.” Bait held up a hoof. “You hear that?”

Switch raised an eyebrow, then an ear. He scanned for a few minutes, then his chitin grew very pale. “Awww, shit.”

Voices. From the interrogation room. They’d been found out, likely when the Praetorians meant to murder them hadn’t returned with their heads on a silver platter. With a little bit of focusing, he was able to just make out what was being said:

“...ter you completely failed in your mission, you then led them right to a portal that revealed everything?”

“Well, I...”

There was a sudden hiss, the distinctive sound of metal gliding through chitin and into meat, and a choked-off gasp. His ears folded down. “The last guy we left back there just bit it.”

“Damn, damn, damn...so...what now!?” Switch hissed. “If we’re found out, then the Praetorians likely are already around the Queen. We’re not gonna get within a mile of her!”

“I know, I know...” Bait mumbled, tapping his chin anxiously.

“So what the hell does that leave us, then!?” Switch hammered a hoof against the crystalline walls in frustration. “Whadda we even do!? Try and get the prisoners to help us!?”

Bait started to say something, to tell Switch to shut up and let him think. Then it hit him. His ears folded back. “I have an idea,” he said finally. “But you’re either really gonna like it, or really gonna hate it.”

Author's Notes:

This time around, I wanted to use this moment where I have your attention to bring attention to a decent cause.

Newyorkx3, an artist some of you may know, has fallen upon some hard times and could really use some help. A blog post with more details is here. If anyone could find it in their hearts to spare a few bucks, I'm sure it'd be appreciated! This community is well known for coming together when really needed, so I'm hoping we'll have more of that here!

Chapter XLIII: Together Again

“This is stupid. This is so, so stupid.”

“You rather take on the Praetorians alone!? A couple battalions of the best soldiers the world has ever produced!?” Bait hissed, jabbing his partner in the side.

The large changeling trotted along in silence for a moment. “Gimme a second on that one,” he said.

Bait swallowed, shivered, looked up. “Yeah, I know that feel.”

All at once, it hit him. This was the first time they’d really slowed down with little else to focus on: the rush after the fight in the Interrogation Room, and the discovery of the Praetorians’ chamber of horrors had kept it at bay, but here, just trotting through the maze of tunnels in the hopes of popping out where they needed to, it hit him: Pinkie was innocent.

His heart started to rise. Something blossomed in his chest, filling it until he couldn’t catch his breath. A stupid grin spread across his face.

Switch turned to him then. “Dude, you having a panic attack?”

“Pinkie’s innocent,” Bait gasped.

Switch blinked. Then, the stupid grin spread across his face, too. “Holy shit dude...”

“They’re innocent.” Bait’s step gained a little hop. “They’re innocent! The Praetorians set them up!”

Switch started to cackle like a colt, but stopped himself. “Dude, hold on, just...”

“She’s innocent!” Bait hovered into the air, his wings racing with his heart. “She’s innoc-”

A large hoof clamped over his muzzle as Switch pulled him down. “Shhhh...” he giggled like a filly talking about their crush. “We need to stay calm. We’re going to see them.”

“We’re going to see them,” Bait said breathlessly. “Because they’re innocent.”

“Yes...” Switch let out a long breath, falling back against the cave wall. “Yes. They are innocent.”

“Okay...Okay okay okay...oh shit.” He gasped. “Oh shit. And we didn’t believe them.”

Switch’s eyes filled with horror. “Oh shit...”

“Oh shit, we didn’t believe them!” Bait’s wings stopped dead as he froze in Switch’s grip. “Oh shit! We thought they were nymph-killers! Oh shit, oh no, oh shit!” He twisted, hooves on his partner’s chest. “Switch man, we can’t go back there!”

Switch stared his partner in the eyes helplessly. “We have to.”

“No we don’t! We can just head back to the streets, go on patrol, maybe the Praetorians will think we still don’t know anything and leave us alone!”

“What, you think they were searching the interrogation room for their health?” Switch replied, shaking his head. “They almost killed us on the suspicion we knew something. Got damn close too.”

“Th-then we can leave! Ride the rails! We’ll become hobos! Ass-kicking hobos, though! We’ll rid Equestria of all crime!”

“If the Praetorians’ plan doesn’t involve taking everything over and putting everypony in one of those nasty-ass pods,” Switch pointed out.

“Then we’ll...we’ll...we’ll...” Baits shoulders sagged. He didn’t even suggest trying to fight their way to Chrysalis, knowing it would be a lost cause the moment they were spotted by a patrol. The Praetorians were just too familiar with their tactics, too well-trained. One patroller would hold the pair off while the others went for help, and within minutes, they’d be up to their eyeballs in stab-happy elites.

Switch could only hug his smaller friend helplessly, cradling Bait with his head on his shoulder like an infant. “I know, dude, I know.”

“I don’t think I can face her right now...” Bait sniffled, and Switch felt actual tears on his shoulder.

The larger changeling took that as permission to mist up himself. “I can’t either, but there’s a lot more at stake here than our emotional bullshit.”

Bait just groaned and laid there in the embrace of his friend, shaking his head. “We are so screwed.” He said as magical fire engulfed his body, his fang suddenly appearing whole again as his body reformed into something slightly larger, his shoulders broadening.

“Yeah, but it’s the only shot we got,” Switch sighed, fire sweeping away the scarring on his cheek and eye as his frame shrank. By the time he was done, the pair looked like somewhat mismatched, but otherwise ordinary changelings.

Sighing, Bait shook his head. “Alright, let’s get this act of stupidity and suicide over with,” he grumbled as he trudged towards the end of the tunnel.

Carefully sliding the exit aside, Bait and Switch peered out. “Think we got lucky and the Praetorians aren’t looking here?”

“The Maker hates us too much for that,” Bait hissed back, though the hallway did appear empty at first glance. The two now average-sized changelings pulled themselves up and out into the hall. “Okay…” he muttered.

“Here’s hoping,” Switch said, trotting along towards the cell doors, the pair unaware of the trio of shadows that stalked them into the cells.

Pinkamena Diane Pie hated this. She hated ponies not liking each other in general, even if some of those ponies were bug-ponies. But ponies not liking her!?

Inconceivable. Simply unforgivable.

She would be partying all the meanie hatred out of said pony so hard right now if she wasn’t locked up. Yeah, that’s just what she would be doing right now! And definitely not crying, no sir! She would be throwing the Pinkie Party to end all Pinkie Parties, the sort of thing that would make everypony stop being all mean to each other, and make a certain bug realize how stupid he’d been and leap into her hooves and maybe make out with her again and hold her and kiss the tears away and…

She paused, opened her eyes. Small globules of water floated in the goop around her, suspended as little blue balls for a second before mixing with the rest of the green gunk. She sniffled (no easy feat while suspended in changeling goop) and lay back against the rear wall of her cocoon, letting out a sigh as another curl in her mane straightened out. Nothing but the opaque walls of her prison met her sight.

It wasn’t enough she couldn’t even explain herself to him, no. She couldn’t even look at her friends! Apparently, changelings weren’t big on interaction with prisoners suspected of attempted babycide. Who knew? She just wished something would happen! That somepony would come along, and she could explain to them what they knew, and everything would be okey-doki-loki again!

She sighed. Even she knew that wasn’t gonna happen.

“Pinkie?” A violet hue appeared in the side of her pod.

Pinkie sighed. “Hey, Twilight.” At least their pods weren’t soundproof. “How’re you?”

“Oh you know...been better, been worse.”

“Any luck thinking of a way out of this?”

“Well, I discovered if I spit enough, it retained enough of its properties to be recognizable as a pool of spit in here, which I could then form up into a ball.”

“Grossss!” Pinkie giggled as gagging noises came from the ivory shape in the pod beside her.

“Really, darling! Is that the most productive thing you can do!?” Rarity shouted.

“I figured it’d give some of us a way to entertain ourselves in here.” Twilight said. “Applejack’s already started on trying it out.”

“No Ah...uh...shoot.” Applejack grumbled as Pinkie’s giggles filled the air. “Guess there ain’t a whole lot we can get away with, on account of bein’ so close together.”

“I guess,” Pinkie sighed as her giggles faded off. “Thanks, Twi. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” Twilight sighed. A few more minutes of silence followed.

“So, dearie,” Rarity started tentatively. “You seemed rather...close with your captor.”

Pinkie’s mane deflated a bit more, losing the slight bounce it had gained with Twilight’s discovery. “Oh, that?” She sniffled. “That was just a one-time thing.”

Silence again. “Say what now?” Rainbow asked, finally speaking up since she’d started her own spitball to compete with Applejack’s.

“Oh, y’know,” Pinkie chuckled. “We were just a couple adults in a weird situation together. I mean, it’s not unheard of, this sorta thing. And we were safe about it!”

More silence. “Pinkie, you’re talking about...” Twilight started.

Pinkie nodded sullenly. “I let him bake with me.”

Sighs of relief circled the room. “Oh, Pinkie,” Twilight gasped. “That’s...”

“I even let him take over by himself after we had sex.”

That shut the room up. “What!?” Rainbow gasped.

“I know! A first time noobie running a kitchen all by himself!? What was I thinking!?”

“No Pinkie, that’s...” Twilight paused, seemed to gather her thoughts. “Look, Pinkie, if he forced himself on you--”

“Baity would never do that!” Pinkie blurted out.

Again, more silence. “Baity!?” Rarity gasped.

Pinkie paused, inhaled, and it all came out: “He was my captor yeah and he was a little mean at the start but even then he still helped around the kitchen and seemed pretty cool and then I found out he was keeping up with my Pinkieness and was all like ‘AAAHHHH FINALLY SOMEPONY GETS IT’ or is that someling? Anyway we had this really intense night one time where he almost died and me and Flutters saved him and he confessed he wanted it too and I was like ‘yay!’ and I thought at first it was a one-night stand and I thought that was okay but now I’m not so sure about it being okay and I think I feel a lot more now and I think he might even feel the same way but none of that matters ‘cause he thinks I’m a meaner mcmeanerpants who hates foals and would set them on fire which no I’m nah-hah-haht!”

She finally allowed her face to sink into her hooves. The tears finally flowed free, all the messed-up, complicated feelings finally flying out through her eyes. As her sniffles eventually abated, she opened her eyes again, wiping at her muzzle with a tiny smile.

“Hey guys, just so you know, it’s not just spit. Tears do the same thing.” She said, watching the little blue ball floating in front of her eyes.

“Um...a-and what Pinkie said?” Fluttershy finally said from her corner of the room. “Ditto. A-also, I can confirm the tears thing.”

A few moments passed with everypony processing what they just heard. “Um...wow, that’s a lot to unpack there.”

“You’ve had a really busy time here,” Rainbow added.

“We were really worried for you two when we learned about who was holding you,” Rarity hissed. “Turns out we only needed to worry about you having enough condoms!”

“I’m still not dismissing Stocksholm syndrome...” Twilight muttered.

“So...” Rainbow asked. “How was it? Y’know, with a changeling?”

“...seriously Dash?” AJ added.

“Oh, like none of you guys ever wondered!”

“I’m just surprised Pinkie and Fluttershy were the first to find coltfriends,” Rarity mused.

“Girls! Focus!” Twilight shouted, returning with the full force of her power as the de-facto leader of the Crystal Empire rebels. “The point is, Pinkie...whatever your emotions, just know we’ll all be there to help you work them out.”

At that, a few more tears joined the small globe hovering in front of Pinkie’s muzzle. “Th-thanks guys, really. Even after it all, I’m glad we all got to be together again, even if it’s, y’know...in here.”

“Yeah.” The mares all sighed together.

“...and it was kinda like with any other stallion, actually. Just a different color scheme.” Pinkie said.

“Ha!” Rainbow shouted. “Pedipalps my flank! I knew Cheerilee was talking out her ass!”

Suddenly, a door opened, and slammed shut outside. The mares all zipped their lips. They had learned from experience that pony voices tended to annoy their captors, and when these changelings got annoyed, things could get very unpleasant very fast. A black shape filled Pinkie’s view, pressing right up near her pod. Rolling her eyes, Pinkie pressed up against the back of the pod. Sometimes, her guards liked to taunt her through the shell, sticking their faces right up to it and hissing. More annoying than scary, but she could only imagine what it was doing to Fluttershy. Poor mare must have been scared out of her mind.

As expected, a pair of black hooves appeared along the shell. As not expected, the fluid started draining from her prison. Pinkie looked around, eyebrows hunched in confusion. What were they up to out there?

Then the fluid drained away.

A changeling peered in at her, and appeared to be…smiling? That couldn’t be right, at least she thought so until he vanished in a gout of green flame. A certain small changeling peered in at her, a thin smile revealing his one chipped fang.

She gasped, bolted up to press her muzzle against the wall. “BAITY!” She screamed, hammering her hooves against the inside wall of her prison.

He tilted his face, pointing to an ear and shaking his head. Oh shoot, really? He still couldn’t hear her? Maybe the goo had something to do wit hit.

He loudly and carefully mouthed “I’M GONNA GETCHA OUT,” but of course to her ears it sounded more like “MM OOAAH ITTA OWW,” but she got the message.

She beamed. Her mane immediately poofing out, splattering the remnants of the goop in it all over the inside of the pod. “He believes me…” she whispered to herself, face beaming out at him.

He smiled back, a hoof pressing up against hers in the pod. Over his shoulder, she could see Switch across the cell, repeating the same motion with Flutters, as...as another changeling came up behind him with a dagger HOLY SHIT NO!

“BAAAAIIITT!” She screamed, frantically pointing. Bait’s eyes widened. Fortunately, his first reaction was to duck and roll, dodging the point of a battle axe that promptly glanced off the front of Pinkie’s pod. She let out a scream so high-pitched it was honestly surprising the pod didn’t shatter from it. One of the armored changelings darted across her field of view, fangs bared. She let out another scream as the newcomer scooped Bait up, grabbing a forehoof in his grip and using it as a lever to slam him face-first against the pod, smooshing his face out. He smeared along the translucent front.

“Y-you can do it, Bait!” She shrieked. “Get back there and kick his butt!”

He smiled, then was yanked back, circling around. His head obviously spinning, he held up his forehooves to defend, only to be met with a series of jabs and strikes all along his body. Pinkie knew she had to help!

“EEP! Bait! Hit him with your left! Know, your other left! Okay just roll with that hit...don’t literally roll...ooh, oh that looked like it hurt. Well, with that last hit, at least your smile will probably even out now, right?”

He was smooshed up against the pod again. One eye was swollen. Blood traced down along his lip. Behind him, Switch wasn’t doing much better, trying to fend off the other stallion while minding the dagger now sticking out of his shoulder. The smaller changeling looked helplessly up at her.

“Bait...” she whimpered.

His gaze widened at her, then his muzzle curled up in determination as he roared, pressing off with his front hooves to add to the force of his hind hoof meeting with the other changeling’s jaw. The bandaged wound in his shoulder tore, fluorescent green blood trickling out behind him as he kicked off her pod with a roar, slamming a tornado kick right into the assailant’s face. The armored changeling, still stunned from the first hit, had been wide-open, his head twisting violently with the blow before he fell to the ground, unconscious.

“Woah.” Pinkie said as Bait stood on his hindlegs, breath heaving. “I am so wide-open right now.”

She looked past him. Switch was standing on the other side of the room, jaw open, a hoof still resting on the hilt of the dagger protruding from his shoulder. The other armored stallion matched his expression. After a moment, Switch turned to his own assailant and delivered a kick to his head, knocking him out instantly. Even from inside her prison, she could hear him shout:

“DDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!”

Bait instantly crumbled to his knees. “HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT…”

Switch ran up to his friend, sweeping him up in a hug so the pair could bounce around in circles together, all the while laughing and gallivanting about and ignoring the copious amounts of blood now leaking from their bodies and spraying the tile.

Pinkie jumped up and down with them, hooping and hollering, so excited she barely noticed the jet of blood that sprayed the front of her pod until she settled and noticed the pair had collapsed on the ground.

She paused, took in the blood spatters, and immediately facehooved. “Ohhh…you idiots.”

Chapter XLIV: The Plot Revealed

After a couple minutes on the floor, the pair jolted up suddenly. Shaking their heads, they turned to where their respective mares still sat in their pods, hooves against the hardened goo, eyes wide with worry. Groaning, Bait heaved himself up first, dragging his way across the tile, finally reaching the spot where Pinkie was still pressed against the translucent stuff after what felt like hours.

He collapsed against the pod. Breathing heavily, he slapped a hoof against it, allowing it to slide away from her form. Behind him, he heard Switch doing the same. Pinkie and Fluttershy immediately rocketed out of their prisons, darting to the stallions’ sides.

“Bait!” Pinkie gasped, while beside her Fluttershy took to helping Switch to his hooves. “Bait, are you okay!?”

“Never...” he gasped, let out his breath as white-hot agony screamed through his shoulder. “...better.”

“Okay...okay, good.” She sighed, watching him as he stood alone, albeit on shaking hooves.

He offered up a weak smile, barely believable as he winced from the constant pain. Warmth poured into him from her, and if there was ever any doubt about how the Element of Laughter felt about him, it melted away in an instant. “See?” He croaked, holding back tears. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay...” her breath came in relieved gasps, then she zipped up close and hugged him.

Bait’s eyes widened in surprise, then as he watched Fluttershy repeating the same motion with Switch, he relaxed, hooves sliding around Pinkie’s hips. He smiled contentedly as her warmth pressed into his chitin, eventually bringing him to the point where he felt comfortable turning to the side, thinking he might sneak a kiss against her cheek…

And then Pinkie jammed a hoof into his shoulder. “AARGH!” He screamed as he dropped, which was followed by Switch slamming to the ground beside him, a high-pitched squeal only dogs could hear emitting from his throat as his hooves cradled his groin. Fluttershy strode up to him, shoulder-to-shoulder with Pinkie now, sharing her angry glare.

The mares now towered over the stallions, looking down upon them like a couple of cockroaches skittering around their kitchen floor. “How could you!?” They demanded together.

“After everything in the nursery...” Fluttershy started.

“Everything in the bedroom...” Pinkie continued.

“After making it very clear we wanted to accept you in our hearts in any capacity!”

“After saving your miserable lives!”

“After protecting an entire classroom from a pair of thugs!”

“After giving you what you, yourself, proclaimed to be the best night of sex you’ve ever had!”

Together again, they shouted the final indignant question: “How could you even consider we’d do something so horrible!?”

Bait and Switch moaned as Pinkie picked up: “Attacking babies!? That’s like, Sombra levels of evil!”

“Is that what you think we are!?” Fluttershy gasped, her voice wavering on the verge of tears. “That we’d ever raise a hoof against a bunch of sweet little babies!?”

Both glared, both now peering through angry tears, though Fluttershy’s were more prominent. “Well!?” They shrieked. “What do you have to say for yourselves!?”

Bait and Switch gazed at each other. Despite the intense pain they were both in, they couldn’t help but give piteous looks. They’d screwed up. Big time.

“It’s not...ugh, we...” Bait sat up, holding up his hooves in defense in case Pinkie decided he hadn’t paid enough for his sins. “Look, in our defense, we were both suffering from smoke inhalation and head trauma! It’s not like you did us any favors there!”

“Oh, so this was all our fault!?” Pinkie spat.

“No, no, we...” Switch sat up now, and he heaved a sigh that rolled his massive shoulders up and down. “Look, it was pretty clear by that point you’d already betrayed us, and that alone hurt, is what I think Bait’s tryin’ to say.”

Bait nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah, and we...we...kinda were willing to go along with any story that explained what just happened to us, no matter how stupidly out of character it was.”

“We were setup like a pair of rubes, and fell for it easily,” Switch sighed, his head bowing, his ears folding down.

“And...there’s nobody to blame for that except us,” Bait added, his gaze also sinking.

“At the end of the day, we were painted a stupidly bad picture, and we let our emotions get the best of us so we believed it.”

“And the two of you paid for that.”

Both stallions, keeping their muzzles aimed at the ground, gazed up at the mares. “We are so sorry.” Bait whimpered.

“And if there’s anything we can ever do to make up for what we did, we’ll do it,” Switch added, his lower lip quivering.

Both mares’ angry facades cracked at the sight. Two powerfully-built, well-trained stallions, reduced to shame-filled colts by their wrath. What else could they do?

“Well...” Pinkie sighed. “It was a pretty emotional time.”

“And you two were under a lot of stress.” Fluttershy added, the stallions’ eyes lifting in hope.

“And while that definitely doesn’t excuse everything,” Pinkie added, sending those hopes crashing down again.

“I guess we can kind of...find it in ourselves to...forgive you,” Fluttershy said with a nod.

The stallions’ eyes lit up and, together, they embraced the mares in quick hugs. Pinkie hummed in Bait’s grip for a second, then pressed his chest back.

“Hang on there,” she said. “Maybe by ‘forgiven,’ we should explain.”

“We’re willing to try to forgive you,” Fluttershy said. “It is still something we’re going to work on.”

“Right,” Pinkie nodded, but smiled at Bait with that little twinkle in those massive, baby-blue eyes that just drove him crazy. “We’re willin’ to work with ya, that’s all. You get a chance.”

“Right, right...” Bait said.

“Silly of us to just assume things would go right back,” Switch insisted. “If you girls need time, though, that’s alright with us.”

“T-take all the time you need!” Bait finished with a big, fakey smile.

“Thanks,” the mares said, and the group all paused for a second. For a long time, each stared at their respective partners. Fluttershy and Switch. Pinkie and Bait. Two pairs of equines, not changelings and ponies. Not even mares and stallions. Just two sets of equines who, suddenly, felt like they’d been waiting for one another their entire lives.

“Ahem?” Came a voice beside them.

All eyes turned to where Twilight Sparkle stood, flanked by the three remaining Element Bearers. Apparently, that one pod opening was all they’d needed to free themselves. The purple unicorn’s lips curled into a tight smile. “Did you need a moment?”

“Ummm...this um...” Switch said, even as Fluttershy took cover behind his wing. “This isn’t what it looks like!?”

“’The best night of sex you’ve ever had?’” Rainbow chuckled, shaking her head. “Oh yeah, that’s really vague. Pinkie coulda meant anything by that.”

Bait’s shell flushed that deep dark fuchsia as he stammered. “I...um...”

Pinkie suddenly butt in, pressing him to the side. “We had a condom!” She blurted.

All eyes went to her, jaws dropping. Rarity fanned herself. “Well,” she tittered. “This has been...revealing.”

“Regardless!” Bait gasped, rubbing his temple with a hoof. “Look, a lot’s happened in the past few weeks, but we really don’t have time to deal with it right now! We seriously need your help.”

“Oh yeah?” Applejack tilted her head, eyes narrowing. “Well alraght, but this better be good.”

“Dang, this is just too good!” Applejack gasped, stealing another look from around her rock.

“Freakin’…keep your head down!” Bait insisted, yanking her back behind cover. “Do you want them to see us!?”

Rainbow Dash snorted next to him, taking another peek into the chamber below them. The massive love-pool bubbled away as a set of Praetorians marched in a patrol around its shore, all set in the low, eerie glow of the large orb hanging low over it all. Another pair trotted right past the empty canisters the group was using for cover, forcing them all to duck down, only to poke right back up again as the larger stallions threw another canister into their pile and trotted away.

“I dunno,” Rainbow Dash said. “They don’t look so tough.”

“Oh, they don’t look so tough!?” Bait mocked. “I’ll have you know, Rainbow, that those guys are all Praetorians, and they make your average changeling soldier look like a jolly little romp through a patch of roses! They’re Chrysalis’s ultimate elite of the elite, we practically carve them from Badlands Rock!”

Rainbow Dash slid back down the canister, an eyebrow quirked. “How did you know my name?” She asked.

Bait blinked. “Holy crap, you mean Rainbow is actually your name!?”

“I’m more curious about these canisters,” Twilight said, looking over the pony-sized pod at her hooves. “What are they for?”

“I think I recognize ‘em,” Bait said. “I think they’re love-draining canisters; some wackjob doctor came up with ‘em years ago. It lets you suck the love straight out of a pony, no changeling feeding techniques needed.”

“Oh?” Twilight blinked at him in surprise. “Then why haven’t we seen them before?”

“They worked too well,” he snorted. “Great for a short-term gain, but not so much if you don’t want to end up turning your entire supply into a bunch of raisins.”

“Oh...” she shivered.

“Yeah, contrary to popular belief, we do have standards. Kinda hard to keep up a long-term feeding supply if you turn everypony you find into a loveless husk.”

“Charming,” Rarity said, her muzzle wrinkling. “But then, the question becomes why these ruffians are using them.”

“And why they need so many,” Pinkie put in. “They got the ones down at the lake filled up already, how come they got all these piled up here?”

“That’s what we were trying to figure out,” Switch said.

Suddenly, an alarm sounded. The group all ducked their heads, though Rainbow’s wings splayed out behind her body, as if readying for a fight. However, the Praetorians just dropped what they were doing and marched away, heading towards the exit. The last one to leave peered over the room, then reached to the switch set in the cavern wall near the exit, flicking it. With a loud clunk, the light faded, leaving just the glowing of the pool. A moment later, the changeling’s horn lit up, and the faintly-glowing rock floated down from its perch into his grasp. Nodding, the changeling tucked the rock into a saddlebag and turned, trotting out through the long cavern his brethren had left through.

A few minutes later, the ponies and their new changeling friends stepped out of hiding, looking over the empty canisters. “Everypony split up!” Twilight called. “Pick a pod and start freeing a pony! Also, keep an eye out for anything that can tell us what’s going on here!”

The group all set to their tasks, quickly flitting about the room, attacking pods and releasing ponies in quick succession. Pinkie let out a gasp as she opened her first pod, gagging. “Ugh, don’t these things handle deodorant!?"

“Wasn’t a priority when they were designed, Pinks,” Bait replied, stepping around her to drag the unconscious mare away from the pool’s edge. “Like I said, the guy who came up with ‘em was a total loon. And coming from me, that’s saying a looooAAAAHHH...”

The mare suddenly shifted in his grip, pulling him in to hug and nuzzle against him like he was a giant plushie. “Aww, c’mon!” He shouted as Pinkie giggled.

“Jeez, Baity,” she laughed. “Shouldn’t you at least get her name first?”

“This isn’t...” he sighed, but at the sound of her laugh, he could only chuckle as he pulled himself free.

“Oh boy, that was funny!” Pinkie snorted. “She thought you were a teddy!”

Deadpanning, he merely smirked. “At least I can laugh without snorting like that.”

She paused suddenly, gazing over at him, eyes shimmering. “Right, sorry...I know it’s an annoying habit...”

His ears folded back, eyes misting with concern. “No, no, that’s not what I--”

“So, how did this happen?” Rarity broke in as she trotted up.

“H-how did what happen?” Pinkie asked, her gaze drifting off to look at her friend.

“What we talked about in the dungeon?” She rolled her eyes. “Oh please, darling, if you two weren’t overt enough, Fluttershy and that other changeling would be plenty.” She scoffed, gesturing a hoof towards the pair across from them. As they watched, Fluttershy and Switch carefully eased a stallion out of one of the pods. Their hooves touched as they drew back to catch their breaths. They paused, looked at one another, ears on end, then both looked away as they flushed a deep red/fuscia.

“Ohhh, it’s just like in a Stephanie Mare novel!” Rarity cooed. “Without the outdated notions about a mare’s virginity being some sacred special thing, of course.”

Still blushing, the pair stammered, trying to put their thoughts into words even as they circled around to free the next pony. “Well, it’s kinda...” Pinkie started.

“She…umm...” he added.

“He, well...”

“Ummm...”

“Y’see...”

“Her laugh is absolutely adorable.” Bait said suddenly.

Both mares paused, turning to him. “Wh-what?” Pinkie asked.

Bait bit his lip, then the words came in a sudden rush: “It has this little snort in it that lets you know she’s really and actually laughing and it’s so genuine and every time she uses it I feel like laughing too and there’s no one else that has ever done that for me.”

Both mares blushing, Pinkie just grinned, letting out a quick giggle. “Eeheee...thanks,” she whispered.

“N-no problem.”

“When you guys’re done making goo-goo eyes at each other,” Rainbow Dash called from above. “I think you’ll wanna see this!” All eyes left the pods circling the pool to where Rainbow hovered over their heads. She flapped every once in a while to remain level with the large pylon hanging over the center of the pool.

“What do you see, Rainbow!?” Twilight called up to her.

“Uhhh...it’s kinda hard to describe! Cantcha just teleport up here with me?”

“I’d need a platform to keep from falling!” Twilight called back.

“Oh, that’s no problem,” Switch butt in, and before Twilight could ask what he was talking about, he bent down and barfed a long, sticky pile of green gunk on her hooves. She shivered, lips going tight as he straightened up and smiled at her. “There! Now you’ll stick!”

“Oh, you’re so helpful, Switch!” Fluttershy cooed.

“Yes...thank you...” Twilight said between failed attempts at suppressing gags. “R-Rainbow? I’m coming.”

“Alright!”

In a flash, Twilight teleported right up to the spire, materializing in front of Rainbow. The pegasus blinked, gazing down at Twi’s hooves. “Aww jeez Twi, what’s all--”

“Don’t,” Twilight spat, even as she applied her hooves and, as advertised, stuck fast. “Don’t talk about it. The less you acknowledge it, the better.”

“O-kay,” Rainbow said cautiously, even as Twilight’s eyes wandered over the spire.

“Hmmm...there are a lot of runes here,” she mused, running a hoof over the slight carvings. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say these were Zebrican runes used to enable the channeling of energy.”

“Yeah?” Rainbow shrugged. “Alright, channel what? And where?”

“Well, these are only guesses,” Twilight mused, “But I think we can assume love energy, given we have a big reservoir of it just down there,” she pointed to the pool still bubbling away beneath them. “And as for where, those changelings took a big, glowing rock from here before they left, remember?”

“Alright,” Rainbow grabbed Twilight around the barrel and hovered with her up along the spire’s length. “So, they grabbed a big ol’ rock packed full of love and went…to Chrysalis with it? To help feed her?”

Twilight frowned. “I doubt it’s that simple. Remember how the rock glowed when they took it? It sort of looked like the Crystal Heart…” she ran a hoof along the spire’s markings. “And then there are these runes along here. These don’t look like channeling marks, they look more like--”

Suddenly, a red spark arced from the spire, flitting against her hoof. Yelping, Twilight drew her hoof back, then looked back up along the spire, her ears folding back. “Like curse marks.” She breathed.

“Wait,” Rainbow hovered with her back down towards the pool’s edge. “A curse? Why the hay would they want that along with all the love?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight said thoughtfully. After a moment, Rainbow hovered back to the group, shaking her head even as the changelings gaped at her. “It doesn’t make any sense…”

“It does,” Switch said, his eyes wide, as if he couldn’t believe what was going through his own mind. “It does if you wanna poison a changeling.”

They all gaped at him. “That…would make sense…” Twilight said, her eyebrows rising up to her hairline. “But…who?”

“Chrysalis.” Bait said plainly, his eyes still ridiculously massive, as if it’d just been revealed to him that his life was little more than a sideplot in a cartoon for little girls.

“What!? That there’s crazy!” Applejack scoffed. “How th’hay can y’know that!?”

“Don’t you get it!?” Bait gasped. “That glow when we first came in looked like the Crystal Heart! They made a dummy replica of the Crystal Heart, charged it with love, then cursed it!”

“That’s insane!” Twilight insisted. “Besides, Chrysalis is a powerful Queen! To kill her would take a lot more than a normal spell, you’d need—“

She trailed off rather suddenly. Eyes widening, she gazed down at the pool. Watching her, confused, Bait waved a hoof in front of her face. “Umm…Equiis to book pony, are y’there?” He asked.

She shook her head, jaw dropping. “Y-you’d need…”

Arching an eyebrow, Switch followed her gaze, out over the pool. He squinted, trying to focus on what she was looking at. A dark shape hung in the pool, a little blob that swayed with gentle currents around it. Then, some small eddy caught it just right, and one part of it emerged from the pool.

A black, hole-filled hoof poked just out into the air, then gently sank back down.

“--a sacrifice,” Twilight finally finished. Her eyes widened as she gazed at a few other dark outlines traced in the pool. “Maybe even…more than one...”

The reaction was instant. The mares all let out high-pitched shrieks, Pinkie and Fluttershy diving into the stallions’ hooves as they screamed, Bait and Switch barely even noticing, staring gape-mouthed into the green, glowing stuff.

“I touched it!” Rarity shrieked, holding up a hoof and waving it around as if a plague-infected rat were clinging to it. “I touched it!

“Oh sick, man!” Bait screamed. “Oh, sick!”

“What the hell!?” His partner put in his own, profound words of wisdom. “What the hell!? What the hell!? What the hell!?”

All of this done with the soothing tones of six mares screaming their heads off, all pointing down into the pool’s green depths. Eventually, ever the leader, Twilight had to take charge. “Everypony! Everypony! Yes, this is gross, but freaking out won’t help anyone!”

That actually got most to calm down, except Pinkie, who gave one final screech that almost set Bait off again before they settled. Bait, for his part, had somehow found another bottle of olive oil, and was busy guzzling it with Switch, but the pair calmed with the others. With everyone sharing in rhythmic breaths, Twilight turned to the stallions.

“When is Chrysalis meant to partake in the Crystal Heart’s energy?” She asked, voice calm, if a bit shaky at the edges.

“That’s…tonight, when it’s fully charged,” Bait’s eyes widened, not even occurring to him to ask how she knew about it. “Enough love energy for a thousand years, she’d said. She was gonna establish a connection with it and take it back with us, let her keep it hostage while being able to eat from the Crystal Empire’s love anytime we wanted.”

Twilight blinked in surprise. “Holy sweet Celestia, that’s brilliant!”

“Right!?”

Pinkie cleared her throat.

“Oh, right…but we have to stop her!” Twilight said, looking around in desperation.

“Ummm, sure Twi, you sure about that?” Rainbow spoke up. The changelings glared at her as she rolled her eyes. “We were fighting Chrysalis all this time, why should we stick our necks out to save her?”

An awkward look went around the group, and Bait was about to speak his outrage when Pinkie spoke up: “’Cause we’re the good guys, Dashie!” She exclaimed. “That’s what we do!”

“No matter what, we can’t sit around and do nothing if someone is trying to k-kill them!” Fluttershy stammered.

“Besides,” Twilight gestured to the pods with a light shiver. “That is the alternative over there.”

Bait and Switch gazed at their respective mares in awe as Rainbow snorted. “Aight, fine, that’s all well and good, but how do we do this?” She pointed out. “You really think the Queen is gonna listen to us? We’re a buncha foalkillers, remember?” At this last bit, she glared at the changelings, who at least had the decency to cringe under her violet gaze.

“Well, you do have us!” Switch pointed out, thrusting out his chest proudly.

“Which is more likely to get you killed than anything,” Bait said dryly. “We had to fight for our lives all through the dungeons, and now that we’ve escaped, the Praetorians are gonna have Chrysalis on lockdown. They’re gonna do everything in their power to make sure we can’t get within a mile of her.”

“Oh yeah…” Switch’s wings fluttered. “Almost forgot about the elite cadre of guards trying to kill us…”

“We can fight,” Twilight said, hoof going to her chin. “But we need something to even the odds…” Suddenly, she bolted up with a snap of her hoof. “I got it!”

“How did you just snap like that without fingers?”

“Luna!” Twilight beamed. “She can help us!”

At the mere mention of the night princess’s name, the changelings shivered, rumors of her terrifying strength and ability against her guards, even restrained, bouncing around in their heads courtesy of the luckless colts that had to work around her.

“Yeah, if she just needs to crack some skulls,” Switch swallowed. “I think she’s a good bet.”

“Only problem is getting to her,” Bait pointed out. “The dungeons are gonna be locked down too: they already know Switch and I escaped, and they know we know too much!”

“But we know they know we know too much!” Pinkie said stoically, slamming one hoof in the other for emphasis. “And that’s an advantage we’ve got!”

“Unless they know we know they know we know too much,” Bait said, rising to her prompting. “The only real question is, do we know if they know we know they know we know too much?”

“…I don’t know…” she growled.

“Holy cow,” Rainbow said, shaking her head as her gaze darted between the strange pair. “There’s two of ‘em now. Pinkie’s contagious.”

“Celestia help us all.” Rarity intoned.

“The point is,” Switch said. “Just getting to Luna will require some firepower.”

Once again, Pinkie struck her thoughtful pose. “Darn, I wish I had my Party Mech,” she grumbled. “If there was anything left of that, I might be able to fix something up.”

As the mares all gaped at her, drinking in the fact that their friend could build a mech out of kitchen supplies, Bait and Switch’s eyes widened with realization.

“Actually,” Bait said, eyes looking around for a passage that might lead in the same direction as the kitchen. “We might be able to help there.”

Author's Notes:

Nearing the end now! I actually got a shitload of prewriting done, so hopefully the delay between chapters will be much less now!

Chapter XLV: Rescue from the Crystal Dungeons

“I can’t believe you saved it!” Pinkie beamed, jumping around the kitchen in celebration.

Bait blushed, not even able to look up while the mares worked with Switch to haul the massive machine’s splintered remains out of the pantry. “I…didn’t want to. I wanted to destroy it after…you know, but…”

“But it reminded you of me too much?” She asked, leaning forward with a massive smile on her face.

Instead of answering, Bait bent down and buried his face in his hooves, which was as good as an answer.

Pinkie giggled, giving his flank a powerful swat before pulling him into a massive hug. “All is forgiven.”

“Wait, really!?”

“Well...I might whip it out every now and again to use against you in fights,” she giggled, nuzzling his cheek.

He blushed, and gaped at her. “Wh-when would that be?”

“I...” she paused, then her pink cheeks flushed as she realized what she’d just implied. Future arguments meant they would still be together to have those arguments. Couple’s arguments. “I...”

“If you two are quite finished,” Rarity said, patting the side of the robot’s hull. “I do believe we could use a keen eye to look this thing over.”

Nodding, and still blushing, Pinkie dashed to the machine, sliding into the cockpit. Switch, also still blushing, slouched as Bait approached him with a massive, smug grin on his face.

“She has you so, so wrapped around her little hoofie.” He giggled.

“Knock it offff…” Bait muttered.

“I mean, most stallions at least wait a month or two before letting them hit this part, you though?” Switch shook his head. “Whole-hoofed into licking her little pink hoovesies.”

“I said knock it...” Bait started, but when he turned to spit it right into Switch’s face, he paused, and finally, let out a smug grin of his own. “Say, where’d you get that formula?”

Switch balked, then finally remembered the basket in his hoof, filled to the brim with bottles. “F-Fluttershy wanted me to carry them...” he stammered, looking away as he realized he probably should have hid the bottles before coming over to give Bait shit about his budding relationship. “I-in case we have...the chance to...go back to the nursery...”

For a few minutes, Bait just sat there, wearing Switch’s formerly-smug smile, then he finally leaned over and whispered in his partner’s ear: “Wha-pisssshhhhhh.”

“Welp, most of the controls are fried!” Pinkie shouted from inside the bot, distracting the changelings.

“Can you salvage it, Pinkie!?” Bait shouted, standing up to approach.

Pinkie pulled herself out of the bot, sighing as she wiped a smoky, pink tendril of hair covered in sweat and grease from her forehead. “I could, but any control I’d have over the legs would be tenuous from my seat. Most of the drivetrain’s shot: I can rebuild it, but the controls are gonna hafta be crazy complicated to keep up with it.”

“Why not just rebuild it like y’had it?” Applejack asked.

“I could...if I had a full machine shop and another couple days to prepare, or a solid week with what we have here. If we need to save bug-queen tonight,” she sighed and shook her head. “I’m gonna get a real workout in this thing.”

“What if someone else pilots the legs?” Bait asked.

Pinkie perked, looked back at him, and then, her smile started to widen at the same time that his did. “That could work.” She giggled.

Bait tried to remain focused. He really did. He was a professional soldier, for goodness sake. A few distractions couldn’t possibly be enough to keep him from working at full, optimized capacity.

Problem was, he was dealing with a little more than a few distractions.

“Three degrees starboard, Baity!” Pinkie shouted from above, her blue eyes flickering in the little slat serving as a viewport.

“Aye aye!” He shouted from beneath her. As in, right beneath her. In fact, his flanks were maybe inches from her waist. Apparently, the only way for two ponies to pilot the robot with its current setup was to go doggie-style. Not that he should’ve minded, he’d apparently been even closer with the pink party mare on at least one occasion, but trying to keep your mind on battle strategy when your possible-sorta-probably-marefriend was hovering literal inches away from your waist was proving impossible.

Welp, at least he didn’t have much to see. The darkness of the leg drives was darn near impenetrable, even with his changeling night vision.

“Baity!” Pinkie shouted, switching up her tone once more. “Couldja get us going a little to the left now?”

He chuckled. He’d already tried telling her to stick to official callsigns and directions, but apparently that wasn’t a battle he was going to win. “Sure, Pinkie,” he shrugged, working his flanks with deep gratitude for every squat he ever did.

“A little to the left now, please.”

He quirked a bit of the ridge over his eye, but positioned the robot a little more left.

“That’s it, a little more...ohhhh yeaaaahhhhh...”

Bolting up, he looked over his shoulder to find Pinkie’s gaze was nowhere near the slat, but rather, had focused on his little, black, flank, now tensed to the side by the way his body had contorted.

“Pinkie!” He shouted. “The assault!”

“Oh, right!” She gasped, snapping her gaze back to the slat and wiping a little drool from her chin. “Ten degrees starboard, Baity!”

“Aye, aye!” He shouted back, blushing and biting his lip as the image of that dreamy, deeply-horny look on her face as she ogled his contorting frame filled his head and crowded out most everything else. At least he didn’t have to worry about the fluorescent green blush being too obvious.

Suddenly, the temperature inside the robot dropped. As if fun was a physical gas in the atmosphere, the tiny space somehow felt more serious than it had just a second before. “Coming up on a Praying Mantorian patrol, Baity.”

He chuckled, not wanting to correct her. “Remember the taps Pinkie, one on each shoulder for a degree, a squeeze for a little more.”

There was a squeeze. He gasped. The robot jerked under his hooves. The green blush now covered his neck. “My shoulders, Pinkie, squeeze my shoulders.”

“Oh, right,” she giggled, though it was a little less enthusiastic than it might have been. He let out a quivering breath. Even here, with this exotic and beautiful mare, in a situation he never could have dreamed of finding himself in mere months ago, the air had that familiar taste of coming battle. He let out a breath. Way too much was riding on this being successful for him to properly relax, but hey, Pinkie had been in plenty of situations like this before! There was nothing to worry about!

Right?

“Hey, man.”

The Praetorian bolted upright. Up until that moment, he’d been happy to guard the little patch of ground immediately in front of him with his life, eyes fixed forward as he slipped into the trance-like state most sentries found themselves in when forced to guard a location for hours on end. Now, however, he’d found himself rudely snapped back to reality not by an enemy attack, but by his fellow sentry.

He cleared his throat and resumed his usual relaxed position, which still kept his head high and his back ramrod-straight. “We are not supposed to talk on duty and you know it.”

“Yeah, I know, but this is important, I promise.”

“Is it about a possible threat to the High-General and his plans?”

“I mean, not really...”

“Then it can wait for us to be on break.”

A few long moments of blessed silence passed, but as the Praetorian was about to slip back into full-sentry mode, he was interrupted again: “I promise, it’ll only take a second.”

He let a long breath out through his nostrils. “Goddammit...fine, what is it?”

“It’s just...are we the bad guys here?”

The Praetorian frowned. “The hell do you mean by that?”

“I mean...we have a secret underground lair, like villains in a bad secret spy movie.”

“Dude, all changelings live in a secret underground lair.”

“No, we live in a hive with underground chambers. Most of it’s above ground: pretty conspicuously so, in fact. Hell, it’s like, the only thing you can see for miles in the Badlands.”

The chitin above the Praetorian’s eyes furrowed. “Alright, fine, lots of goody-goody movements have had to start in secrecy, though.”

“That’s another thing: everyone uses terms like ‘goody-goody’ or ‘goody-two-shoes’, like we’re mocking the very concept of goodness itself. That’s pretty evil to me.”

“We’re just making fun of the rainbows and bullcrap that ponies use when they’re fighting us!” The Praetorian snorted.

“And again: rainbows? Love? Friendship? Those seem like pretty good concepts to me, as if the other guys are definitely on the side of good.”

“They’re concepts to weaken themselves. Which is why we’ll overcome them and the traitorous queen.” The Praetorian growled. “Now, you just about done with this traitor-talk?”

“Just one more thing...” the Praetorian straightened up even further, as suddenly his fellow sentry’s voice had dropped a couple octaves. “If we’re not evil, then how come the goons on our side are so easily fooled by a group of precocious young mares and their sexy stallion tagalongs?”

The Praetorian started to react, began to spin towards his fellow sentry, but paused. The other changeling had, rather suddenly, gained two feet and a significant amount of muscle over him. Despite seeing this with his own eyes, he couldn’t help but squeak out the name of the changeling he’d been expecting: “A-Antennae?”

“Oh, Antennae is still unconscious and tied-up where I left him.” The big changeling grinned. “I’m Switch, and I’ll be your ass-kicker for today.”

And with little more flourish, the larger changeling’s hoof slammed into the Praetorian’s face.

Switch stood there, surprised at how easy the Praetorian had gone down.

“Huh...maybe I should be the bait sometimes, that was pretty easy.”

“It certainly would make for a nice change of pace!” His partner shouted from inside the giant wooden machine now ambling around the corner.

Switch just grinned and ducked out of the way. “Bait, my friend, if you and your lovely assistant would be so kind...” he offered, motioning with his hooves towards the cell door.

“Assistant!?” Pinkie’s voice fumed from the machine. “Who do you think is on top in here!?”

A moment of silence followed.

“Ya couldn’t have worded that differently, Pinkie?” Bait sighed.

“Nope,” she giggled as she turned the Party Cannon Mk. II’s massive blaster on the door and blew it wide open.

Immediately, a cacophony of voices roared from inside: “Hey, what was that!?”

“Let us out, you ugly damn bugs!”

“I like all my love where it’s at!”

“I peed a little.”

“Hello, boys!” Dash enthused, swooping around the corner with the rest of the mares to gallop down the middle of the cells. The imprisoned stallions and resistance members all gaped at her as if she were a rainbow-colored horse with wings or something. Without further ado, she plucked the keys off a ring along the far wall and began unlocking cell doors, to the cheers of the prisoners inside. Within minutes, she had almost every cell unlocked and was ushering cheering stallions to the waiting door, grinning as a cascade of champagne erupted from the bartender in the crowd. Every pony let out cheerful whoops and hollers.

All but one.

The final cell remained in the deepest, darkest corner of the block. The mare inside sat in one corner, facing away from them. Her horn gave a slight spark as Dash approached, struggling against the goop coating it. Dash bit her lip and looked down at the key ring, the cheer from just a moment ago forgotten as she stared into Petalgrown’s cell. Only to be surprised by a yellow hoof stopping her.

Fluttershy shook her head. “Wait.” She whispered.

At the sound of her voice, Petalgrown’s ear perked. “Oh great, the little wallflower who just had to go back for a bunch of bugs.”

Rainbow looked confused for only an instant, then her gaze narrowed. “No way...Petalgrown, you started the...”

Fluttershy stopped her again, holding a hoof to her chest. Rainbow stopped and listened, teeth gritting but giving her friend the opening she needed to talk. “I know we don’t have much time, but I need to say something,” she whispered, a rare bit of steel entering her voice.

Rainbow Dash blinked, but eventually nodded, keeping a glare on Petalgrown the entire way out the door.

The bound unicorn smirked. She still hadn’t turned around. “Let me guess, you’re here to chastise me, tell me how awful I was for wanting a few of those monsters dead.”

Even though she knew Petalgrown wouldn’t see it, Fluttershy shook her head. “I-I’m not here for that. I’m not good at chastising anyone, e-even my own pets. Just ask A-Angel. I-I let him walk all over me.”

Petals said nothing, but in her little corner of the cell, her frown deepened.

“I-I just wanted you to know that...I forgive you. For what you did.” Fluttershy paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m not gonna let you out, because I-I still think you need to answer for it, but I personally forgive you.”

Silence reigned in the cell, and for a moment Fluttershy figured she’d been tuned out and started to turn away, back to her friends. Then, Petal’s voice returned: “Is that all?”

Fluttershy turned back to her. “N-no, I also want you to know that hate drives others away. Not just ch-changelings. E-even if you find Sprinkleshine a-again, do you think you’re the same mare she knew b-before?”

At that, Petalgrown finally turned around, her eyes wide and bloodshot, her full and unkempt mane now fully displayed, her cheeks still bearing dirt and grime from the escape tunnel. “Are you out of your mind!?” She shrieked. “Of course I am! I’m not a damn bug! That’s the whole reason I’m here! I’m still the same mare!”

Fluttershy quirked an eyebrow. “Really? B-because I don’t know if the mare Sprinkleshine knew would set fire to a bunch of children.”

Petalgrown’s nostrils flared. Her teeth gritted. But despite it all, a tear rolled through the grime on one cheek and she turned away. Fluttershy sighed, stood, and trotted back out the door, gently closing it behind her, shutting off the first quiet sniffles that filled the cells.

The ponies and changelings outside all stared at her in shock. “Fluttershy...” Twilight said. “That was...um…

“Freakin’ awesome!” Dash enthused, dipping out of the crowd to pump a hoof in the air. “Like a scene from a movie! You were so cool!”

Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed as she covered a smile with her mane. “I-I just said some things that needed to be said, that’s all.”

“You’re...strong.”

All eyes turned to Switch as he stepped up from the back of the group, closing the distance between himself and Flutters. She just blinked up at him, jaw falling open. “Wh-what?”

“I...always knew you were kind and wonderful, but...I underestimated how strong you were.” He continued, still walking, casually brushing stallions aside as if they weren’t there to stand right in front of her. “I’m uh...sorry, I won’t let that happen again.”

Her entire face and neck turning red, Fluttershy smiled into her wings. “Th-thank you.” She squeaked as the twelve-foot tall wooden robot behind her began playing “Kiss from a Rose” on a kazoo.

Twilight cleared her throat. “I’m sorry to interrupt...”

“...no you’re not purple-lonely...” Pinkie chimed quietly from her robot.

“...but we really do need your guys’ help, if only to find where Princess Luna is being held.”

At that, the stallions all paused and turned to her, brows knit in confusion. “What? She’s right over there.” Stu said, pointing over Twilight’s shoulder.

Twilight blinked again, then turned around, gazing up at the massive, wrought-iron portcullis set in the wall right next to the door to the stallions’ cell block.

In her defense, it had been a somewhat trying day.

“Wha...but we had to fight across the entire dungeon to make it here!” She gasped. “We were kept as far from Luna as possible to minimize the threat we posed! We had to fight no less than a half-dozen minotaurs left from the days of Sombra! We had to sneak by half the patrols in the Praetorians’ ranks just to reach Pinkie’s robot! We took eight wrong turns that cost us hours! We were down here so long I’m pretty sure my eyes have gone numb to crystal shimmer! And they stored you guys in her cell’s broom closet!?”

One of the stallions, the barkeep, shrugged and held up a strawberry daiquiri. “You clearly overestimate the threat we pose and underestimate yours.”

“And just what’s that supposed to mean!?” One of the stallions huffed from the gates of the portcullis. “We’re perfectly capable of holding our own!”

The barkeep sighed. “Stu, why’re you over by the portcullis?”

The stallion said nothing, instead continuing to stand with his flanks facing the group.

“Stu, is your head stuck?”

“...maybe.”

With a grimace and a huff, Twilight took the drink and sipped at it evenly, glaring all the while a the door.

“Ummm...” Applejack started, watching her friend gulp the booze down.

“Don’t worry, it’s a virgin,” the barkeep whispered to her, earning a smile and a nod.

Twilight sighed, tossed the drink over her shoulder, and started towards the portcullis. After magically extracting Stu, she set about opening the massive gate, sending it up in the little stone slats that held it in place. That done, she marched forward, deeper into the crystalline labyrinth.

“Tia? Are you there?”

No response. Just as it had been for the past few hours. Whatever added security Chrysalis had thrown on top of Luna’s already-existing bonds, it cut her off from even the dream plane. She sighed, opening her eyes again.

Curses upon curses! How had this happened!? She’d been so close, so close to finally earning the changeling’s trust, then some botched attempt at...something had ruined it all! Of all the timing, all the rotten luck! Another few minutes and she could have been close enough to Chrysalis to hold her hostage! She could have held her to her body with sheer strength and kept every other changeling at bay! She could have pressed Chrysalis to her body, hooves holding her tight, lips exploring the chitin…

She blinked, shook her head. Ugh, whatever magic was being used on her here was definitely muddling her thought process. No time to think about that now, she had her ponies to save, a sister to contact, tears to ignore! She just had to...had to…

…

What?

Just as she started pondering that question, a rip appeared in her pod. A loud thud sounded, and a gigantic wooden claw pierced her containment’s wall. She gasped, darting back amidst the ooze, eyes wide at the mechanical monstrocity that had so rudely intruded on her reverie. Luna held up a hoof, surprise turning to righteous indignation. “Villains!” She cried. “Thee returneth to paunch me in mine own catch but a wink? Cowards! Yellow-bellies! Square me on coequal terms! Thou low-level scum! Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hogs! Thou pile of poisonous bunch-backed toads! Thou...”

“Oh thank goodness,” a familiar high-pitched voice gasped, followed by an equally-familiar splotch of pink. “Girls! We found her!”

The pink was followed by an equally-familiar set of colors, just barely visible through the ooze and the translucent walls remaining in her prison. Just as Luna realized what this was, the claw jerked back, and she dribbled out of her pod feeling like a large turd being flushed down the toilet. Grimacing at the thought, and trying not to think about where her “princessly business” might actually have been going, she came up sputtering, lungs gasping down air as her sight adjusted to the light.

The pink splotch finally hardened into a pink mare, grinning down at her with a set of blue, sparkling eyes she never thought she’d be so glad to see. “Yep, it’s her!” Pinkie shouted. “And just in the nick of time, too! I’m sure she was almost out of lines from that top ten Shakespearean insults list!”

“Princess!” Twilight gasped, dashing into the night ruler’s grasp. “Thank goodness you’re okay!”

Luna took a few moments between gasps of sweet, sweet breath to smile and pat her on the shoulder. “Aye, and you, young Sparkle.” She chuckled. “We heard you’d begun some form of resistance movement on the outside, most excellent.”

“Aheh, yeah, well,” Twilight blushed. “I had my friends and some good stallions to help with that.”

“Aye, but still, courage should be commended wherever possible.” Luna hugged Twilight again, looking up with a smile to the gathering of mares and stallions before her. “That goes for all of you. Everypony here should be sung about for generations, thanks to their courage, determination, loyalty, and...”

Her eyes widened. The crowd didn’t just consist of her little ponies. Rather, it had something of a bug problem as well. Two rather large bug problems, to be exact.

“...AND FRIG!” Luna screamed, diving over the crowd towards them.

“And frig? Huh, Bait, you think Equestrians get honors for that?” The big one asked the little one.

“If they do, then the rumors were right. The Equestrians definitely have it better than--” was all he managed to get out before the night-blue blur sailed right past him, clocking the larger changeling in the jaw with a flying kick. The smaller gaped, then brightened. “I wasn’t hit first that ti--” he started before he too was laid out with a roundhouse punch.

“Villains! Curs! Scuzzle-bottomed fiends! Thy--”

“Luna, wait!” Twilight stepped between her and the changelings, now laying on the ground, probably trying to figure out if they were still alive. “They’re friends, they helped us get out!”

“Friends!?” Luna snarled, looking over Twilight’s shoulder. She huffed in a breath through clenched teeth, then let it out. “Friends, you say?”

“Er...yes, that’s right.” Twilight said. “I-in fact, to some of us, they might be...a little more.”

Luna’s brow rose in surprise, though not as much as it did when the Elements of Laughter and Kindness broke away from the crowd to tend to the changeling’s wounds, tenderly helping them up to a sitting position Fluttershy even added a gentle kiss to the larger one’s forehead for good measure. “Oh! Well then...okay.”

“Please, I know it’s hard to understand, we just started processing it ourselves, but—what?”

“I said okay,” Luna shrugged, gazing out over the rest of the crowd. “I know plenty of ponies think me an old-fashioned mare, but I have been quick to adapt to the customs of the new age. Love is love, is it not?”

“I mean...sure, but...you know what? Nevermind, we don’t have time to dissect this.” Twilight’s eyes drifted to the Princess, then up to her horn.

Luna sighed, a hoof gliding up along her horn and meeting with the sticky green stuff encasing it, cutting her from her magic. “Curses, just when we thought it was going to be easy.”

“I could try to get it off...” Twilight said, stepping up with her horn already igniting.

“No need to bother, Chrysalis herself applied that.” Luna said, raising a hoof. “We doubt very much anyone but her or my sister could remove it.”

Twilight sighed, stepping back down. “That...complicates things.”

Luna tilted her head. “Perhaps it will make an escape more complex, but surely no more than any conflict you’ve tangled with before, right?”

“Actually...” Twilight bit her lip. “First, we need to stop a bad guy...and I mean it, a really bad guy! He’s kidnapped ponies and forced them into these awful pods! A-and he’s killed! Changelings and ponies! It doesn’t matter to him he’s...oh, he’s so evil!” She gasped, hooves rising to the side of her head in a melodramatic expression of just how totes-for-realz-evil this villain was.

“Mmh...” Luna shrugged, cracking her neck casually and working a foreleg in its joint. “Facing a villain is not anything we would be unfamiliar with, young Sparkle. We know we were late to the Royal Wedding, but it was in this very place where we faced down a rather nasty villain a few millenia ago, lest that hath escaped thine memory?”

“Yes, well...the thing is...” Twilight now bit her lip so hard it was a testament to her brand of chapstick that it hadn’t cracked and sprouted blood down her chin. “To do this, we have to help Chrysalis.”

Luna paused in the middle of preening a wing, muzzle poked into a gap between strands of restraining goop. “What was that?”

Twilight hesitated for half a second, then realized it would be best to get this over with as quickly as possible, like ripping off a bandage. “We’re fighting against a coup attempt within the changeling’s own ranks. I-I know fighting for the sake of someone like Chrysalis is a big ask, but if we don’t, a much greater evil will seize control and--”

“Where?”

Twilight blinked. The night princess had, in a flash, ducked her head low, glaring back at her with eyes that burned with righteous fury, determination, and...protective instinct? “Wh-what?”

“Point me in a direction,” Luna snorted. “And try to keep up.”

Surprised and more than a little intimidated, Twilight raised a shaking hoof to point back out the cavern. “Th-there’s enemy patrols all over the place between here and there…” she muttered.

“Nothing we hath not tangled with before.” Luna stretched her wings as far as their binds would allow, facing down the crystalline cavern Twilight had appeared from. “Worry not, young Sparkle, though we may be cut off from our magic, we are no slouch when it comes to physical combat. You still have my strength!”

“And my sword!” A stallion called from the crowd.

“And my wings!” Dash shouted, swooping up to the top of the cavern in a flash.

“AND MY GIANT FRICKIN’ ROBOT!” Pinkie shouted, knocking everypony off-balance as the Party Cannon Mk.II leapt into action beside the others.

Luna dodged to the side, cleared her throat, and nodded. “Yes…all these and more...” she intoned, facing down the cavern. “Come then, my little ponies. ‘Tis just about time for us to get moving.”

As they started moving in one long column headed out of the dungeons, Luna tried to think of her sister. Tried to imagine she was returning to her fellow Alicorn, that she was fighting to gain back what was taken from her. Yet still, no matter how hard she fought it, she could not help one little phrase that kept popping up to drive her hooves forward:

I’m coming, Chryssie...

Author's Notes:

Wow, two updates in the same month, huh?

Yep, I guess there are a few things to be said for this quarantine...hopefully we'll be able to breeze through the end.

Chapter XLVI: Out of the Shadows

“My Queen?”

Chrysalis broke from her reverie, ducking back from the railing. Damn, time really must have slipped away from her, watching the Empire from this balcony. She turned to see who had addressed her. “Ah...yes, hello Praetorian. What is it you require?”

The large stallion saluted. “It is time. The Heart is charged.” He looked around her, as if searching for what she had been gazing at. “What were you looking at, if I may be so bold as to ask?”

“Oh...” she turned back. She had just come out here to think and clear her head before the Heart was ready, and she’d looked up at the night sky, and…

...like the stars were something they wove together just for you...

Huffing, Chrysalis whipped around, heading into the hallway. “That again?” She mumbled to herself, storming past the guard. “The Heart is ready, correct?”

“Yes, my queen,” the Praetorian said, falling in step behind her with practiced ease.

“Good,” she said through clenched teeth, muzzle wrinkling, eyes definitely not misting up. “The sooner we’re out of this wretched hole, the better.”

“Of course, my queen,” the guard said, and if there had been a hint of self-satisfaction, Chrysalis either didn’t notice it in his voice, or was too wrapped up in her own head to care. She just wanted to be down the hall, wanted to already have all the love in the Heart in her, wanted to be back in the Badlands, wanted to leave this cold hellhole behind and everything that came attached with it, wanted to leave that damned princess behind in her own dungeon, let her sit in her cocoon and think on everything she’d done!

And before she knew it, Chrysalis was standing in front of the doors to the throne room, and suddenly it was real. This was all coming to an end at last.

“Your Highness?” The Praetorian asked, pointing to the neon tear that had managed to escape her eye despite her best efforts. “Are you alr--”

“Allergies,” she muttered before shouldering her way through the door with a huff. Time to get this over with.

The Crystal Heart remained where she’d left it, suspended in the air between the points of a stalactite and a stalagmite. Or was it a stalagmite and stalactite? Whatever. It practically vibrated with the Empire’s collective love, shimmering in the faint light as static crackled off its surface. Except...was the light falling on it differently now? She could have sworn she’d last seen it just the night before, and the way the light fell over its front face had cast a weird swirly pattern, not that jagged edge.

Bah, probably imagining things, she had apparently let a lot of things go unnoticed during her time under a certain princess’s spell. Well, that would all be over soon.

She looked over the group around her, and an eyebrow quirked. “Is there a reason we only have Praetorians tonight?” She asked with the same concern she’d hold for a colt throwing pebbles at one of her patrols in the street.

“High-General Chickit has the regular army and infiltrators patrolling the streets,” her escort said quickly, automatically. “He wanted to take no chances that our final moment of victory might be interrupted by any remnants from the insurgents.”

Smart, especially considering they had tunneled into the castle despite all their precautions just the other day. Chrysalis accepted this explanation, and turned to the Crystal Heart. A part of her thought she should make a speech, but Praetorians weren’t known for being swayed by honeyed words and thunderous roars, even a grouping as large as this. So, it would be best to get this over with.

And so, Chrysalis stepped up to the podium, and finally gazed into the depths of the Crystal Heart.

The first few patrols went down smoothly. A few blasts with Party Cannons and a couple hits from either the girls or the uber-pissed pony princess charging with them, and they just didn’t stand a chance. Now though, they were approaching the final hallway.

Switch peeked around the corner, swallowed, and ducked back behind it. “Welp, we made it…that’s the good news.” He whispered.

Rainbow Dash, being nearest since Fluttershy was hanging near the back, nodded. “So...I take it there’s some bad guys between here and there, judging by the look on your face.”

Switch swallowed and nodded.

“How many?”

“Lots.” He rasped.

She cringed. “This could get dicey...”

“Agreed.” Twilight said, poking her head up from the pony/giant robot crowd behind them. “We should hang back and try to think of a plan...”

No sooner were those words out her mouth when Luna rounded the corner. “For Equestria!” She bellowed, looking for all intents and purposes like a one-mare charge.

“W-wait!” Switch started, reaching out a hoof, only to be brushed aside by a bound wing. He couldn’t guess at what she was thinking, charging into an enemy horde with her magic bound. Of course, he hadn’t been part of the detail guarding her during her ‘dates’ with Chrysalis. He couldn’t have known.

He straightened up, watching the impossible spectacle of at least fifty Praetorain soldiers, all lined up along the walls beneath the green tint left by the windows, suddenly bending against the sheer will of one mare. The soldiers had just started moving, overcoming visible shock to raise spears and halberds against the midnight-blue menace, when she slammed into the line massed directly in front of the door.

There was a squealing sound, which Switch later realized had been the sound of armor buckling, and suddenly he knew how lucky he’d been not to simply die when Luna had attacked him and Bait in the dungeons.

She whipped around. A Praetorian flew in her grasp in full armor. Her hind hooves came up in a buck. Two more armored soldiers flew away and slammed into the door. A couple had the presence of mind to try and skewer her. She dodged, headbutted each in turn, seguing perfectly into holding them up as living shields just in time to break a charge the remaining soldiers in the hallway attempted.

Suddenly, Bait couldn’t help but wonder if the Canterlot invasion might have gone differently had Luna been officiating instead of Celestia.

At that moment, the call of “For Equestria!” echoed down the hall, and Switch had to dodge to avoid being trampled by the small stampede of mares and stallions flanked by a wildly-swinging robot, party cannons blasting indiscriminately. The Praetorians, having arranged themselves to deal with the blue kung-fu maniac in their midst, were caught utterly off-guard. The Elements crashed into their flanks. Literally, in a couple cases.

Switch had about one second to drink in the rapidly-descending pile of chaos playing out before him, then leapt to his hooves, joining the fray. Streamers flew everywhere. Confetti exploded over every surface. Insults were traded. Someone peed a little.

Then, the doors flew open, and Chrysalis strutted out, her face a mask of rage as a flood of Praetorians accompanied her. In an instant, the two sides broke it off, a literal horde of Praetorians forming a wall between the Queen and the ragtag line of ponies and robots and changelings.

“Oh my--” Chrysalis started in sheer shock, then turned to glare them down. “What is the meaning of this!? How did you all get here!?” She turned her glare towards Luna, and the frown turned into a rage-filled snarl. “What are you doing out!?”

Luna finally took a breath, releasing the trio of Praetorians she’d had in a headlock. “Chrysalis...”

“That’s Queen Chrysalis to you, whelp!”

Luna, this incredible dynamo of power that had just single-hoofedly taken on a full-strength platoon of the Swarm’s most elite troops, flinched beneath the Queen’s gaze. She shivered, took a breath. “Please, you must listen--”

“After all that’s happened, you have the gall to ask me to listen to you?” Chrysalis chuckled darkly, swiveling on Luna. And for the first time, the line of ponies could see the fluorescent green tears barely standing in her eyes, just hardly held back by sheer force of will. “I mean, really, after everything? I must say I congratulate you, princess. After all these centuries, I found an attempt on my heart rather than my head quite refreshing.”

The ponies all balked at that. Pinkie and Bait turned in their robot, looking back and forth between their respective sovereigns. “Whaaaat.” They said simultaneously.

“Hold on,” Luna said, glaring as she held up a hoof. “Let’s get one thing straight here: you’re the one who came on to me.”

“...whaaaaaaaaat...” the entire line of ponies intoned.

“Oh please, those dinners were a simple meeting between sovereigns!” Chrysalis snarled.

“Uh-huh, I was your prisoner, not a fellow sovereign.” Luna growled right back, nearly stepping up to within a hair’s breadth of the Queen. “Try again.”

“Just what are you trying to say!?”

“We’re not just trying! We’re saying thou wished for mine own flanks from the moment you set thine eyes upon us!”

“It was a courtesy! You were wounded honorably in battle!”

“You’re kidding yourself if you think that’s all it was!”

“The only way I would’ve been kidding myself would be if I thought I’d had a chance at you!”

“And again with the self-pitying horsecrap! As if you’re some horrendous monster incapable of being loved! Doesn’t that act get tiring, your highness!?”

“Oh c’mon, we both know you were putting up an act every moment you were trying to get a little closer to me!” Chrysalis shouted. “Tell me, how didja get yourself smelling so heated on the balcony that night? Did you masturbate to some noble back in Canterlot!? Or was it your sister’s big, fat flanks that really got you going!?”

A hush fell over the room. Tears now stood in Luna’s eyes. For a second, one would be forgiven for thinking she was just going to break down and cry. Then, she inhaled.

“That night on the balcony I was ready to buck your brains out!” Luna bellowed. “We wast eft to amorous rite thee in every single way possible, in ways long forgotten to time! We would has't annihilat'd thy nethers so yond thy own physicians would marvel upon ‘em f'r centuries! Medical tomes would beest madeth to study thy womb once I wast done with thee!”

A hush fell over the room once more, broken by the epic: “WHAAATTTTTT!?” that would trump even Luna’s unbelievable outburst from nights before.

“Wow...I guess they really were just dinners Chrysalis was talking about...” Twilight muttered, distracting herself from what had just come out of her Princess’s mouth by any means possible.

Finally, Chrysalis scoffed. “Whatever, you’re too late anyway.” She growled, her horn flickering with arcane power. “We’ve already come here to do what we needed to.”

Luna’s rage-filled glare melted away in an instant. “W-What?” She whispered.

“Oh yessssss.” Chrysalis hissed wickedly. “You may not know it, but I am now charged with the love of thousands! My power is now far beyond anything you wretched ponies could even dream of!”

“Oh no...” Twilight intoned.

“We’re too late...” Pinkie stammered.

“Yep! All too late, Princess!” Chrysalis chuckled, coughed, rose up on her hind legs. “You’re too late! I’ve already partaken in...in...”

Why was she breathing so hard?

Luna’s eyes went wide. “Chryssie...no...” she whispered.

“You’re too...too...” her breath came harder, and she looked down at herself, suddenly falling back to all fours. Her body suddenly looked like it weighed a thousand pounds. “Too...oh Maker above...” she managed before a torrent of black, stinking vomit erupted from her maw, splattering against the crystalline floor. She heaved in a breath, released another waterfall, then heaved in another. Blue hooves slid around her body, and in a moment she realized she was being hugged. She fought for a moment, then realized her hooves were too weak to do more than bat ineffectively at the powerful blue limbs wrapping around her barrel. “What’s...happening?” She moaned, suddenly too weak to do more than lie in the princess’s grip. “Supposed to be...supposed to have...”

“Aww, still haven’t figured it out?” A voice tutted from behind them, and the Praetorians all parted simultaneously for their general to step forward, a large, toothy grin across his face. “It’s alright, you’re not the first of your line that failed to piece it together.”

“High-General Chickit?” She gasped, looked around at the faces around her. Faces that should have been gazing at her in awe, but were instead turned to the general with stony, regimented harshness. “What is...going on?”

He sighed, looking up. “Very well. You are my royal, and even after everything, I suppose you do deserve at least an explanation.” His eyes turned to her, and suddenly Chrysalis was looking at a cold –no, not just cold – hateful expression the likes of which had never graced her top commander’s faces before.

At least, not in her presence.

“For centuries, the Praetorians have watched the royal bloodline, monitoring it for signs of weakness and culling it whenever possible.” He explained, his head held high, giving him a strange resemblance to a teacher addressing a classroom full of foals. “To rule would be the ultimate honor, but changeling royalty has always needed raw strength to defend themselves and the Swarm if needed, and tragically, we have never had the means to seize that power for ourselves.”

A massive, wicked grin covered his face as a dull glow emerged from the crowd. Two Praetorians appeared, flanking the General and bearing a massive, unmistakable shimmer between them, glowing with the stored love of a million crystal ponies.

“Until now, that is,” he finished with a dark chuckle. “I really should thank you all for making this possible. The Crystal Heart gave me the perfect way to poison our sovereign’s drink as well as amassing enough love in one place to gain the power of a true Emperor! You incompetent morons gave me everything I needed to finally be rid of this weak dynasty and ensure a strong Emperor holds the throne!”

Chrysalis’s eyes went wide at the sight. This was what she’d expected when she’d walked into the Throne Room earlier, not...not…

“What was...” she started, coughed, swallowed, tried to inhale: “What was--”

“A decoy, hexed with several powerful curses whose nature and composition has been kept within the ranks of the Praetorians for centuries,” he explained simply. “Of course, you probably knew something about that, based on how you are feeling right now. Tell me, is it painful? I’ve always wondered if it was painful.”

Chrysalis tried to lift her head, and wheezed out instead. She appeared shocked by something, trying to process something in her head. Her brow furrowed, even as she lay in Luna’s grip, gasping. “You...you...” she said finally, her head resting against Luna’s chest.

“We tried to warn ye, your majesty...” Luna said sorrowfully, then passed Chrysalis back to Fluttershy and Switch. The pair welcomed her into their open hooves, though it was obvious by the tear-filled look on Fluttershy’s face that she was about as clueless on what to do as the next pony. Frowning, Luna turned to the general and glared. “The cure, where is it?”

Chickit chuckled. “You really think we’d have a cure for something like this? It was meant to be used once in a millenia, in the most extreme circumstances. There is no cure.”

Luna inhaled, but she advanced, dipped her head. Despite the shimmering goop still holding her wings prisoner and her magic hostage, her sheer size made it an intimidating sight. The group of soldiers before her, however, didn’t even flinch. In fact, Chickit smiled amusingly. She snarled. “Then you will tell us what you do know of these curses, or so help me, we will beat it out of you.”

Chickit laughed, his laughter only drowned out by a sudden coughing fit. Luna whirled around as Chrysalis’s eyes rolled wildly in their sockets. She bit the inside of her cheek as the dark chuckle returned. “Ch-CHRYSALIS!” She gasped, only turning to face Chickit once the laughter reached a fever pitch.

“Oh no, dear princess.” The General said as he raised the Crystal Heart above his head. “I think I’ll be the one beating you. With my own, bare hooves.” And for the first time, Luna thought she could see the faintest of smiles on the faces around him. Especially as he opened his mouth and a waterfall of love cascaded into his waiting maw.

Luna shook her head, eyes wide, matching the others around her as the love from the Crystal Heart flowed into Chickit. Before them, he grew: his slender, hole-filled legs first lengthening, then thickening. His barrel and head were next, giving him a ridiculous, cartoonish appearance of a stallion that had gone to the gym for eight hours a day for years, only focusing on the legs. But his barrel caught up quickly, followed by his thickening neck. His skull expanded and elongated with an agonizing series of pops and cracks. His fangs grew until they were the size of tusks. Finally, his horn grew into a scythe, complete with a razor edge. He no longer looked like a slightly-taller-than-average changeling, but like a beefier version of an Alicorn crossed with a changeling.

Chickit gazed down at his body and chuckled, rearing up on his hind hooves. “Behold!” He bellowed, his voice a multi-tiered roar. “The Changeling Emperor is here!”

In perfect sync, the other Praetorians thudded their spears against the tile, chanting: “All hail the Changeling Emperor! All hail the Changeling Emperor”

The ponies backed up fearfully as Chickit lowered himself to all fours and stalked towards them, new muscles tensing and rolling across his body, head lowered like a predator, his soldiers parting to make him a path. He rumbled in close to Luna. In response, she paused her backwards retreat, took in a deep, shivering breath, and met his eye. He smirked, lips curling awkwardly around his new fangs.

“I’ll spare you if you bow.” He bellowed.

Luna sucked in a breath, the air warm with his heaving exhalations. “The moon bows for no one, monster. No matter what, Equestria will triumph. Friendship and love will win.”

He let out a rumbling chuckle at that. “Tell me, princess, how will that happen if you don’t even have your magic?”

Rather suddenly, there was a cough from the side, it was followed by a chuckle.

Chickit’s eyes darted over to Chrysalis, then darted back in time to grab Luna’s hoof, aimed for a strike at his throat. A loud thwack sounded from the block. “Insolent wench, maybe you’ll bow once I--”

Another dry, rattling laugh, followed by heaving coughs. Chickit turned bodily now, still holding Luna’s hoof, where Chrysalis was still chuckling. She laughed even as Fluttershy held her hoof, gazing on in concern. When the yellow pegasus noticed Chickit looking, she darted back with a squeak. And still, Chrysalis just chuckled.

When it looked like the laughter had given way to a harsh enough coughing fit, Chickit sighed and turned back to Luna, who was now jabbing at his ribs with her free forehoof. He snatched it in his grip as well and flashed a grin filled with razor-sharp fangs. “As I was saying, maybe you’ll bow when I tear the wings off your--”

Once again, he was interrupted by a laughing jag. With an angry hiss, Chickit turned to her, dragging Luna with him even as she thrashed and kicked at his barrel with her hind hooves. “What is so funny, weakling?”

“You, you just told...the funniest joke a moment ago,” Chrysalis coughed, stammering between fits of laughter and coughs. “At least, it better be a joke. I-if you were serious, I t-tremble at the idea of someone as idiotic as you on the throne. We won’t last a year!”

She followed this up with more laughter. Chickit, his hooves full, grimaced down at her, all the while ignorant to the sudden heat growing in his grip. “And what, pray tell, did I say that was so funny?”

After a moment, Chrysalis seemed to regain herself enough to gaze up at him, letting out another dry cough while her chitin paled. “You forgot the most important thing about restraining pony magic.”

“A bit of our goo on the horn and it’s handled, like the princess here!” He huffed impatiently, subconsciously shifting his grip on Luna as the heat started to bother the bottom of his hooves.

Chrysalis shook her head and grinned, showing all her fangs. “For a weak little unicorn, s-s-sure, but for a princess? Y-you have to reinforce the goo with a constant stream of magic when they’re outside of a pod.”

Chickit’s eyes widened as he realized what she was implying.

“Ohh, didn’t know that little fact, eh?” Chrysalis chuckled. “It must be constantly maintained by one’s own ambient magic. It’s tied directly t-to the strength of its caster. Otherwise, i-it’s so much green snot holding back an Alicorn princess. Th-thanks for focusing on me this e-entire time, by the way.”

Chickit whipped around just in time to eat another hoof aimed at his muzzle, this time infused with a deep, night-blue glow. The punch crashed into his face with the force of a steam locomotive at full speed, sending him flying back against the wall, trailing blood. He sat up, shook his head to clear it, and drank in the sight of Luna advancing, her wings unfurling, the goop restraining them dribbling off. She glowered, her eyes engulfed in shimmering turquoise light as a low hum filled the air, the goop first glowing, then smoldering, and finally, flying off with a burst of magic. Her wings rose as her eyes emitted a deep blue glow.

Chickit watched in awe, then his tongue ran over something. He worked it out, and eventually spat it out on the crystal tile. One of his massive fangs gleamed back at him from the princess’s glow.

“Be afraid, villain,” Luna intoned as she advanced, eyes still glowing. “For you have angered the night.”

Chickit swallowed, and finally seemed to regather his marbles. With a snarl, he rose to his hooves. His scythe-like horn crackled with green energy, racing up and down it like lightning. His eyes ignited with emerald glow. “Fine then, this just means your death will be slightly more honorable!” He roared, turning to his army. “Praetorians! Advance on the others! They will be the first to be drained in the pods!”

“Sir, yes sir!” The soldiers roared, turning on the remaining ponies with shields locked and weapons raised.

“Worry not for me, my little ponies! Simply hold the line!” Luna called over her shoulder. “We’ll deal with yon villain!” Her head lowered, magic rising in her horn.

“Alright, princess!” The ponies shrieked back.

“Sure thing, mooncheeks!” Bait yelled back, earning a chuckle and a jab from Pinkie.

Knowing that was handled, Luna turned to Chickit and circled to the left. The General circled on the right, the pair knowing this would be a battle for the fate of not just the Crystal Empire, but the Badlands as well.

“Just so you know, I’m already looking forward to stomping on your corpse.” Chickit snarled.

“Hmm...well, if your attacks are as uncreative as your threats, I should think this fight will be brief.” Luna snarked back.

Chickit growled. “Yes, it will be,” he mumbled, and then he pounced.

Chapter XLVII: Final Battle, Part I

At the same moment the circling royals leapt at eachother, a cry rang up from the Praetorian lines, and the soldiers in front raised their shields, staring down the scattered line of mares.

“Advance!” A cry rang out.

“HOO! HOO!” The chant went up, the shield wall advancing on the pitiful line. The commanders in their ranks grinned. A Praetorian shield wall was one of the most effective battle techniques in the modern world. It had scattered whole armies before. Surely, this battle was already decided now that…

“Artillery! FIRE!” The purple mare shrieked, raising a hoof and leveling it upon the advancing wall. The Praetorians in the front had just long enough to wonder if she had simply lost her mind when the massive robot leveled a pair of cannons on them, and scattered their ranks with a twin set of explosions. Confetti rained down as the lead Praetorians buckled under the thunderous roar of a hundred noisemakers. Changelings in full armor went flying with startled screams. “Corporal Wilhelm!” Someone shouted.

They had little time to recover, as the whole hallway filled with ponies, stallions seemingly materializing from nowhere, all glaring, all holding up a variety of bar peanuts, stools, and broken drink glasses, all glaring with the drive of true believers, all headed by a single ivory mare.

The ivory mare lowered her hoof. “CHARGE!” She shrieked, and amazingly, that’s just what they did. The stallions and mares crashed into the frontlines, screaming like demons from hell. The robot scooped up the purple one in two massive arms, cramming her down into a cannon-arm with a loud squeak. A moment later, it fired her, causing a tremendous lilac explosion where she’d been aimed. Not surprisingly, the larger traitorous stallion dove into the fray, descending upon the scattered soldiers with laughter and fury. Very surprisingly, just as a Praetorian had been about to sneak up behind him with a dagger, the white mare practically materialized between them, sending him flying with a hoof-punch and a scream of “You stay away from my friend’s coltfriend you brute!”

The blue and orange mares crashed in beside her, blue side-stepping changelings and throwing them at orange, who promptly turned and bucked them with her hind hooves hard enough to send them against the ceiling. And still, the party cannons roared, the giant mech stepping into the fray to pick up the observing Praetorian and throw him against a wa-OOF!

...

Mama?

Bu I don’ wanna go t’school today…

Watching their latest defeat trail along the walls, AJ ducked a Praetorian spear in time to give Dash the opening she needed to send the offending ‘ling flying.

“Where did you mares learn to fight like this!?” Switch shouted, physically throwing a Praetorian overhead, where the barkeep smashed a glass against his skull.

“Element Bearers isn’t just a title, y’know! We have had t’fight before!” Dash shouted, sailing right over a Praetorian charge and bucking them in the back of their heads. They collapsed like a couple of toy soldiers onto the tile. “Or didja forget Canterlot?”

Switch allowed himself a small chuckle even as he knocked some skulls together. Around him, spears sang as they bounced off of shield spells, stallions screamed in pain, and confetti wafted in the air like rose petals in a slow-motion scene, probably in one of those cheesy action movies he loved so much. He couldn’t help a strange mixture of triumph and disappointment at watching the most elite troops of the Swarm being picked apart by a bunch of mares and some stallions with bar debris.

Of course, he no sooner thought that when he had to duck a slashing spear. Then, an old, familiar habit took over.

Duck, rip spear out of hoof, riposte. Turn. Two advancing. Charge. Attackers’ spears out. Grin. Minor illusion spell. Watch attackers’ confusion as spears charge air. Watch their fear as he appears a foot on the left. Time for a quip. “Are you ever not gonna fall for that?” Knock skulls together, gripping from behind to hit on the weak part of standard Praetorian helmet. Scoop them up. Throw them. Knock over a couple more guys coming from behind. Seriously, come up with something better than coming from behind, guys.

Two charging with spears. One on each side. Better. Flit into the air. Watch them skewer themselves. No time to cringe, moving on…

Switch grinned, looking up. He knew they’d gone through a ton of Praetorians by now, surely this battle was almost won…

But in the heat of the moment, it struck him that he only had the advantage now because the narrow hallway just allowed a few Praetorians to advance at a time. A veritable flood of them remained. “Damn,” he growled. “This is gonna take up the rest of my day.”

“Holy cow dude, that was so cheesy.” Dash chuckled, strutting up beside him. “Wheredja read that one?”

Cringing, Switch sighed. “Daring Do and the Battle of the Five Armies.”

She turned to him, eyes widening even as she subconsciously raised a hoof and clotheslined a charging Praetorian. “Dude, when this is over, you and I are gonna have a nice, long talk.” She said before swooping back into battle.

“Hmph, how uncouth,” Rarity said, trotting right behind her friend. “Moving in on her friend’s colt like that, now really, Rainbow Dash.”

Pausing just long enough to pick his jaw up off the floor, Switch followed the mares right into battle, chased by a rapid-fire series of confetti bursts. “Huh...” he muttered. “And here, I was afraid life would get less interestin’ once I found a mare.”

Just outside the hallway, Chrysalis’s eyes slowly slid open.

“Okay, now stay awake this time, okay?” The yellow pegasus whimpered. “Um...your highness.”

Chuckling, Chrysalis’s eyes slid shut. “Believe me, I am trying.”

“No you’re not...” the pegasus whimpered, even as she pressed another washcloth from the closet to the Queen’s forehead.

Chrysalis sighed, settling back. Truth was, she knew there was no way she would be getting out of this hallway alive. Chickit had said it himself: the Praetorians had been doing this for centuries, their curses made to perfection. At this point, all she could do was admit defeat, let her breath grow shallower and shallower against the ever-growing tightness in her chest. Let her head roll to one side…

“...CHRYSALIS...”

“Ugh...”

There it was again. That incorrigible princess, shouting her back into consciousness. Her eyes slowly ground open, watching the blue blur fly out the hallway, chased by a black one. Honestly now, what was Luna hoping to accomplish? She had to just cut her losses and let Chrysalis go, focus on her battle with Chickit. Maybe if Chrysalis died sooner, that would get Luna to focus, yes…

Luna…

Causing a pony of great power…great amount of pain. Who that pony might be…or even nature of that pain…I do not know...

Chrysalis’s eyes darted open again. Her chest wheezed as she let out a chortle. Of course. Her dream, the one that had haunted her most of her life, the one that had only started ramping up in the weeks leading to this invasion. Of course, it had all been about the end of her life. Of course. She managed a few more dry chortles before a coughing jag took over her body again.

So that all meant Luna really cared for her. That her talks hadn’t been some acting combined with Alicorn magic tricks.

Damn.

Ah well, if she could love a monster, maybe she’d make a better ruler for the Swarm.

Chrysalis fell back against the wall, her chest aching even more. Knowing that she had felt actual love before had helped ease the pain, at least a little.

Despite it all, knowing she was dying, she gazed out one of the high windows. “I did it after all, mother,” she mumbled, eyes sliding shut. “I found somepony...too bad it was too late.”

Her mother…her mother would have been so proud...

Culling it whenever possible..

Her mother...had gotten so sick so suddenly. She had descended so quickly, so soon after...after Chickit had taken power...

He had...no, the Praetorians, they must have…

Her eyes bolted open. An angry snarl consumed her face. The yellow one, the pegasus she had captured all that time ago, backed away with a startled squeak. “Q-Queen Chrysalis? Umm, I really don’t think you should be--”

“Murderer.” Chrysalis hissed, glaring hatefully into the fray, at the high general battling his way to the sidelines with Luna. “Murder…hrk...”

She groaned, reeled, and sat again. The pegasus was at her side once more. She could have raged against the Maker and all his Creation just then, but she didn’t have the strength for even that. Hay, she couldn’t even join in the battle for her own crown. She was helpless, there was nothing she could do. Nothing! She had nothing at her command except a pegasus afraid of her own shadow and a few captives that…

…

Uggghhhhh...desperate times truly called for desperate measures.

“Stay here, care for the wounded.” She slurred as she rose to her hooves again. “I’m going to get help.”

“Wh-what?” Fluttershy stammered. She tried to press a weak butter hoof to Chrysalis’s chest, but was rebuffed. “Y-you can’t go anywhere right now, you’re--”

“I know I’m dying, you nitwit!” Chrysalis snarled, then paused, took a breath. “Pardon me...but I know I’m dying. I’m going to get help that might change the tides, though.”

The pegasus held up a hoof. “W-wait, are you t-talking about Celestia? Y-you wouldn’t make it to the walls before...um, before...”

Chrysalis only scoffed in her face, which came out as a wet, wheezing cough. “Celestia!? You think I’m going to the worthless white one!?” She would have laughed if she’d had the strength for it. “No...I’m going to someone much worse.”

“O-oh...I can come--”

“Don’t be ridiculous, your friends need you.” Chrysalis stood, and began a slow, slightly-askew trot down the hallway. As if on cue, a stallion came sailing from the fray, slamming into the far wall and sliding to the ground with a series of groans and loud squeaks. “I can do this on my own. For my people. For my mother. For--”

She had started to say Luna. No use tricking herself in that. Her tongue was up to form the ‘L.’ Thank the Maker she managed to stop herself. “--Just tend to the wounded. I’ll be right back.”

Damnation, Luna had really been banking on Chickit being all talk. He had been so boisterous, so egotistical, it really would have been satisfying to simply pound his muzzle down his throat and be done with it. But despite drawing first blood, she had been rebuffed in the initial strike and even countered with a hoof to the stomach that had knocked the air from her lungs.

Snarling in eachother’s faces, the pair rained blow after blow down on one another. Luna found every hit against her enemy solid, every blow meeting with the same hard wall of chitin, and at the same time, every kick and hit she received chipped at her energy.

A cough sounded from her side, and she bucked the General to gain a few precious inches of space. “Chrysalis!” She cried, turning to see the changeling’s eyes whip open. Luna allowed herself a moment of relief before darting back just outside the reach of a roundhouse aimed at her jaw.

The General growled, his hooves fizzling with green, arcane energy. He lunged, but Luna ducked, slamming a buck into his gut that felt like she was hitting a brick wall. He sailed overhead, landed back on his monstrous hooves with practiced ease, even as Luna swooped towards him.

Out the corner of her eye, she noted a distinct lack of changeling queen in the hallway. She almost spared a double-take, only to have to dodge a snapping set of jaws aimed at her throat, as deadly as ever despite the missing fang. No time to wonder now. Had to act. Had to move. Had to dodge, riposte, attack.

Her horn ignited, sending a wave of midnight-blue energy against the General, only to watch him weather it like a rock in a flood, the wave shooting out and cascading in two directions around him. The air instantly filled with shrieks of terror from the mares carrying on the fight in the hallway. Luna had to once again fight the temptation to turn and make sure everypony was alright, as Chickit replied to her power with a cascade of emerald energy.

Falling back a pace, Luna realized her fight with the General was only going to cause more collateral in the battle raging behind them. She had to get them out, into the open, get them some distance. Screaming, she spread her wings, instantly flying back with the General’s energy, sailing right towards the far wall, only to twist at the last second and send herself crashing through the window, spraying glass. She had a moment to drink in her sister’s sun before Chickit was upon her, raining blow after blow down on her back and between her wings before she managed to buck him back.

Wait...the sun...her sister! If she could just reach Celestia…

That thought ended short as Chickit tackled her like a hoofball player, and the pair fell in a tangled mess of feathers, elytra, and battling limbs to the ground, They slammed into a crystalline causeway hard enough to earn a few cracks in its surface. She somersaulted, darted to her hooves, and narrowly dodged a magically-infused jab as it singed a line along her barrel. Using her new closeness to Chickit, she slammed an uppercut into his throat.

Where most opponents would be on the ground at this point, trying to breathe around their Adam’s Apple suddenly intruding on their windpipe, Chickit only swore, his hooves joining Luna’s in a series of blocks, jabs, counters, and hits, both barely aware of the town center looming behind them.

The rhythm had become second-nature now. Move. Dodge. Strike. Move. Strike-strike.

The mares had, thankfully, proven they could more than hold their own against the waves of bad guys, and with the party cannon providing support, he found he just had to focus on a few Praetorians at a time. Problem was, every time he got a few down, a few more replaced them before he could finish any off, and by the time he dealt with those, the first few were back on their hooves and ready for revenge.

Headbutt. Jab. Grab a fetlock and twist. Kick. Repeat.

It was taking too much time to even make a dent in the onslaught of armored changelings, and more just kept coming. Too much, it was going to be too much, they were going to die in here, oh dammit…

“S-Switch?” A quiet voice asked as a gentle wing tapped him on the shoulder.

“Fluttershy!?” He gasped, whirling around in time to knock a couple of skulls together and keep a pair of Praetorians from draping a net over her head like the bad guys in a Saturday morning cartoon. “What’re you doing out here!? You should be watching the Queen!”

“Eep! I-I know...” she stammered, watching the last couple Praetorians go sailing overhead in a single toss. “But she left a-and I got the other stallions stabilized and I saw you here and...and I didn’t know what to do!”

“She left!?” He gasped, twisted, nailed another jerkoff with a closed hoof, turned back. “What the hay did she do that for!?”

“I dunno!”

Grabbing her hoof, he whipped her around. She flew out of the way of a diving Praetorian. Then pulling her in close, Switch kick-flipped off another Praetorian’s chest. “No time to figure out...here’s hopin’ she didn’t just go completely delirious and stumble off.”

“Y-yeah,” she muttered, her face covered in a blush as he set her down, only to drag her back into a hug to guard against another flying Praetorian before Applejack bucked him in the face.

“Will y’all quit makin’ out an’ get back in th’ fight!?” She shouted indignantly before backflipping into the melee around them.

“I wasn’t...ugh!” Switch growled as he set a now red-tinged Flutters down. “Either way, you really need to be more—GAH YOU BASTARD!”

He screamed in pain as a dagger slipped into his back, right above the right elytra. He kicked out, a Praetorian flying back, but the damage was done. He hissed, falling back with Fluttershy as he wrenched the dagger out with a hoof and flung it aside. He pressed a hoof to his back, and cursed as ichor dribbled out through the holes in his hoof.

“Sw-Switch...” Fluttershy gasped. “Y-you’re hurt.”

“Yeah, b-but it’s just a scratch,” he replied with a smile that looked more like a pained wince.

Immediately, she set to work, pulling a roll of gauze out from under her wing and wrapping it around the wound. She had just finished the initial dressing when Switch shoved her back, ducking under a whizzing club and bucking the offender in the stomach. “Fluttershy! Get back!” He screamed. “Get behind the line ag--”

“You hurt my Switchy!” She gasped. He turned, and had the presence of mind to shield his eyes at the bright-blue shimmer that met him. Fluttershy advanced, stomping forward with a presence he’d never known from her before. He could only drop to the side, cowering as she advanced. A moment later, the familiar sounds of the Stare filled the air:

“Mama...I’m sorry...”

“Jeff man, I know you were my friend...I just wanted that promotion so bad...”

“Dad, it was me, not the dog...it was me...”

“Choctal, I’m sorry...you were the only mare for me...”

CRACK!

He looked up in time to see a gloved hoof slam into her face. She went down, blood trailing from her nose, a surprised yelp caught in her throat. He let out a breath, sucked it back in. “Fluttershy!” He screamed, bounding towards her, unaware of the little flames racing all over his body. The Praetorian standing over her smirked at his latest victory, then his expression turned to shock, then to dread. Switch bounded towards him like a rabid dog, unaware of his growing shadow and the way the marked and scarred crystalline floor got just a little further away.

By the time he reached the Praetorian, Switch was able to reach out with a chitinous talon and scoop him up with a sinewy black arm. “You leave mah Flutters alone!” He screamed with a mouth that had grown to the size of a punch bowl before football-pitching the fully-grown stallion out of the way.

“Oh...S-Switch?” A familiar, angelic voice asked behind him.

Without looking, he scooped up his Flutters and nestled her in against his chest plate, now barely covering new, bulging muscles. “You stay there. You can come out when it’s safe, okay?”

“Oh...” she said, suddenly finding herself hugging tight to a pec the size of her torso with a deepening blush. “O-okay...”

Bait gazed back out the robot’s hatch with a concerned gaze. What was taking the princess so long? They were running low on ammo to keep the cannons going, and already a whole host of stallions had been taken down and dragged off to the throne room, most of them kicking and screaming, one shouting in the third-pony for them to “LET STU GO!”

“Last confetti bomb going out!” He announced, loading up the shell.

“Confetti ready and...fire...” Pinkie said, and it was obviously hard to keep the concerned waver out of her voice. Even as the last bomb exploded and sent Praetorians flying and the captured stallion’s voice rang out with a “STU IS FREE!”, waves of bugs still poured in against the frontlines, crashing against Twilight’s shields as she worked with the others to hold back the tide of black, armored bodies.

“That’s it then...” he whispered, falling back where he laid. “Party Cannons are dry...we’re empty.”

“Heh...can’t be as dry as I...I mean as wet as I...” she waved a hoof. “Something sexual, you know what I mean.”

Bait’s eyebrow-chitin furrowed in concern. He twisted to reach up a hoof to her. “Yeah...I do.” He said as she took his hoof and squeezed.

“Baity, we’re in a real pickle here, I mean a really real pickle,” Pinkie whispered. “My friends and I have been in bad jams before, but...I keep thinking something’s gonna happen to save the day and it just doesn’t.”

“I know.” He said back, his grip squeezing against hers. “Believe me, I know.”

She sighed, looking up. Another black body slammed against the lavender barricade. Another crack formed in their defense. “Bait, I...”

“Pinkie, I’m so glad I got to know you,” he said suddenly. She gazed down at him, wide-eyed, but he continued unabated. “You have no idea how happy I am I got to meet a mare like you out here, really. I didn’t think anyone like you existed, much less a pony, and I...I want you to know that I...if things were different...”

She smiled, raised a hoof to his lips, and he quieted down. “...If things were the same, if you were still a changeling and I was a pony, but we weren’t fighting for our lives? I’d be your marefriend, absolutely Bait. You make me feel funny, but a good funny. The same kinda funny I feel with my friends now, but even more? Except I’ve known you for even less time. And it’s more than how I feel with my friends, I think...if things were different...”

Their hooves clasped within the robot, and Bait leaned up to press his forehead to hers. “I love you.” Bait whispered.

Pinkie snickered. “Well, that’s just your problem now, isn’t it?”

“Pinkie!”

“Alright!” She squealed, and her voice wavered, choked up. “I’m sorry, it’s just that if I say it, it’ll make things final, and I don’t want this to end.” The grip on his hoof squeezed as the tears rained down. “I don’t want things to end so soon after meeting the stallion of my dreams.”

He blinked at that. He had been expecting a confession. But not...that. Not that he was the stallion of her dreams. He sat up. “Oh, hell no.” He said. “Hell to the no.”

“Baity?”

“She finally said it! She finally confirmed!” He mumbled, jamming his hooves down into the controls. “I’m not letting shit end here! Screw that! I need to take her out on a date! A proper one! And then a few dozen more! Then marry her and squeeze out some kids that fart sprinkles and have weird bug eyes!”

“Bait, that sounds amazing, but what’re you--”

She trailed off as the robot suddenly lifted itself off the crystal floor. “I won’t say goodbye! Not now! Not ever!” He screamed, his horn sparking as the robot picked itself up, suddenly moving with a dexterity it had never known before.

“Bait! How’re you doing this!?” Pinkie giggled as the robot jerked into motion, striding towards the enemy lines.

“Get the hell out of my way, you bastards!” Bait screamed, vaulting the shield wall and landing amidst the Praetorians. In the chaos of the robot jerking about, Pinkie landed in his grip, one hoof piloting the mech while the other somehow worked the controls that had required two ponies working together just moments before. His eyes glinted, a sheen traveling from one corner to the other. Somehow, the cannons started to swivel on their axes, spinning faster and faster on the robot’s wrists. “Who the hell do you think I am!?” He shouted.

Making it out of the hallway without simply falling over had been a Herculean task Chrysalis hoped would be remembered for decades. Heading down the stairs without falling had consisted more of sliding and trying to keep from breaking a limb. By the time she reached the bottom, just keeping her eyes open was taking all her focus.

“The hell did I tell...that yellow pegasus...to stay behind for!?” She growled, her voice less than a whisper. Well, too late for that now. Getting down the stairs while the poison burned through her system had been bad enough, going back up them would be impossible. She’d just have to finish this as she was--

She took two steps, trembled, crashed against the crystalline wall, and slumped to the floor. She tried to summon the strength to move her hooves to pick her up, but it felt like hot metal had been pumped into her veins, forcing her legs to her sides. She let out a cry of agony, adding to the pain as the curse squeezed out every bit of air from her lungs, and fell back against the wall. Sunlight fell on her face from a window.

“It’s too hard...too much...oh mother, I’m sorry...I’m sorry...” she moaned, her head lolling to one side. She gasped, laying there, fangs exposed. Another trickle of the black fluid dribbled from the corner of her mouth. Agony. This was agony. It was too much. Really, this whole thing had been a fool’s errand, hadn’t it? Done in the spur of the moment during the worst heat of her anger with Chickit. Sparkle and her little gang were always going to handle this, that’s what they’d done back in their home. And her? What was she doing down here? Did she really think she had it in her to make a difference?

Really, Chrysalis just needed to lay there until the end came. Things were going to sort themselves out once Twilight and her friends got involved, simple as that. Chrysalis should have just stayed up top and let the butter-pony keep her comfy until the end came. At least here, she got a bit of sun to keep her warm…

Sun interrupted by some weird pulses of light…

She opened her eyes, scowling. Couldn’t a mare die in peace!? Was that seriously too much to ask!? She boosted herself up enough where, craning her neck backwards, she could just peer over the window sill. Whatever was going on, was it really so important it had to interrupt her final…

“L-Luna...”

She moaned the name as she watched the Alicorn princess crash into the pavement far below, spraying glass and cracking crystal. Chickit held her in their ongoing battle, going back and forth, blow for blow. Their battle moved on to the town center as Chrysalis watched, her jaw working like a fish out of water as Luna was scooped up and physically thrown in the general’s magic.

He’s a match, she realized. For all of Luna’s raw power, Chickit was a match for her, maybe even more with the Empire’s full love focused on him. And he was only going to get stronger. It was obvious by the way he beat on her, the way he lunged with no regard for any of the crystal ponies diving for cover, that if he won this day he would...would…

“Lu...NAAAA…” Chrysalis snarled, suddenly yanking herself to her hooves, heart racing, the dribble of black bile now an unending fountain from her sneering maw. “Not her too...you’re not taking her too you evil bastard...” she growled, marching forward. Suddenly, the end of the hallway didn’t seem so far. She was coming. She was coming to…

Oh wait...one thing...she wasn’t going to be too happy to see the queen of the changelings, was she?

But that meant Chrysalis would have to…

This was going to hurt.

Chrysalis looked down at her hole-filled hoof. She funneled a bit of transformation magic into it, and the green flame singed her chitin like an actual gout of fire, forcing her to bite back a scream. She held the hoof up, and after bracing herself for a moment, transformed it.

When she was a little filly, her father had taken her to a forge to see how armor and swords were made. At some point, she had seen molten metal poured into a cast to give a sword its basic shape. Seeing that glowing liquid that blazed with heat, she’d been tempted to touch it, but even then had been smart enough to know that would likely end in her loosing a hoof more than anything. Still, she had wondered for some time after what it might feel like to touch that stuff, even in just that second before the heat burned her nerve endings off.

After feeling what the curse did to her when she transformed, she thought she no longer had to wonder.

She screamed as a soft, pony leg emerged from the flames, eyes rolling back, digging her fangs into her cheek to stay conscious. Oh, her cheek...that was going to be simply awful. She nearly collapsed from the pain, swooning under it, praying to keep herself even as black spots darted into her vision. She let the leg hit the floor, and a violent jet of black bile shot out of her mouth from the agony, splattering against the crystal floor. She dry-heaved for a second, regained her bearings, and stood. Thankfully, the pain was brief, but her leg ached just from the sheer, burning memory of it now scarred into her synapses.

As she regained her faculties, she looked down at herself, and at the one leg now fully-transformed. “One down,” she counted, her stomach twisting. “Three to go...”

Chapter XLVIII: Final Battle, Part II

“Okay, hold it.”

The changeling sitting at the small, outdoors table rolled his eyes over to the yellow pegasus sitting across from him, dipping his quill pen into his ink well and peering over his wide-rimmed glasses. “Alright, what is it now?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do this last lesson,” the pegasus replied.

The changeling rolled his eyes. “Tingy, you are not having trouble grasping the lesson, you’re just using your ignorance as an excuse to keep from trying so you can spare your fragile ego the possibility of failure!”

The little yellow pony’s mouth opened, then shut, then he bit his lip. “No,” he said quietly. “N-not this time…”

“Oh, really?” Crossing his forelegs, the changeling cocked an eyebrow at his dining partner. “And what about the fact that you’ve been calling me over every five minutes to ‘check on what you’ve written’?”

The pony sighed and leaned back, hooves crossed over his barrel. “Look, I have confidence issues in my writing, I know that, but that’s why I have you!”

“I am your editor and pre-reader,” the changeling growled. “Not your psychological crutch.”

The pony sighed again, suddenly becoming interested in preening his feathers. It had been a few weeks since the changeling forcibly quartered in his apartment had found the notebooks of half-finished story ideas and partially-constructed plotlines squirreled away in his basement, and since then, the changeling had made it his mission to improve the pony’s writing ability. Not that the pony didn’t appreciate it, but sometimes dealing with the changeling was an uphill battle all its own. At times, the changeling seemed to get hung up on the smallest details in the writing, berating the pony for his ‘engfish’ and his ‘crap language.’ Even just the last night, the changeling had spent a solid five minutes beating the pony over the head with his own notebook while screaming “Surveying the vicinity!? Surveying the vicinity!? Who the buck uses vicinity in a natural sentence!?”

Yet these bouts of howling, screaming, barely-coherent anger were always ended with “You’re a better writer than that, I know you are.” And so, the pony allowed the relationship to continue. Kinda like a battered wife allowing the drunk husband to return to their home because he bought flowers. Still, dealing with the changeling on a normal basis, even in a public setting like this, brought struggles all its own.

Especially when he called bullshit on the half-baked excuses the pony came up with for not writing.

“Look, I get it, it’s scary,” the changeling said, trying his very best to sound encouraging, and failing. “Having something you’ve devoted so much work to, so much love to, so much effort to, just put on display for everyone…”

Both shared a quick shiver of their spines. “It’s scarier than rolling over after a night of drunken debauchery and discovering that the heavy, six-foot-long body pillow you’re lying next to is actually a mare that looks large enough to eat Sunbutt herself.”

The pony’s muzzle wrinkled as he blew a few strands of black mane from his face.

“But you cannot let that deter you from the craft,” the changeling nodded as if to confirm his own words before taking his quill pen up in his magic and picking up his writing where he had left off. “Imagine if Marek Twain had given up for fear of what others would say, or Trotsky, or Drakespeare of the dragons!”

“Alright, alright, I get it, you can stop now,” the pony groaned.

“Tingey, look at me,” the changeling insisted. The pony did as told, and to his surprise, saw the changeling had removed his glasses and was now looking at him. He smiled thinly. “You have an absolutely off the wall, near-insane style of writing that usually borders on incoherency, and I love that about you. People love your shit, I love your shit, you make some good shit! You just…have to get your head up and realize that sometimes, all you gotta do is put pen to paper!”

The pony arched an eyebrow. “Was that really your best attempt at an inspirational speech?”

“Yeah, sorry,” the changeling snorted, replacing his glasses. “I was kinda wingin’ it, never did have a mind for any of that gretting card bullshit.”

“It’s fine, I appreciate the effort,” the pony smiled and nodded. “But I really am having problems with the latest exercise.”

“Well, what problems are you having?”

“Just the excerpt you gave me,” the pony pushed a wad of papers across the desk, which the changeling spared a quick glance.

“Aw yeah, that chunk from The Drawing of the Three,” the changeling nodded. “A bit wordy, but Gryphen King isn’t known for sparing words. I honestly think his strategy is to inundate the reader with detail.”

“And what if he’s using too much?”

“That’s the point,” the changeling tapped the papers, then scooched them back across to the pony. “If your problem with your writing is too much vagueness and lack of detail, it’s best to read from authors who have the exact opposite problem. Odds are, you’ll wind up meeting in the middle somewhere.”

“But still, it can be too much! I mean, look at this!” The pony shuffled through the papers, then set them down again, his hoof thrusting into one specific part.

The changeling looked down at the section his pony friend had found. “Oh, the mana-store robbery,” he nodded. “Where the Magic-user takes control of the serial killer Jack Trot in order to navigate the world of Manehattan, eventually incapacitating two cops and a mana-store owner in order to procure more badly-needed mana in his quest for The Tower.”

The pony blinked. “That was a surprisingly detailed summary.”

“I’m a fan of the series, wanted to make sure we were looking at the same thing here,” the changeling shrugged, then rolled his hoof for the pony to proceed.

“Right…” he said, his eyes widening. The changeling hadn’t touched the series in years, how in the hell had he remembered such a superfluous detail!? Pushing the question aside, the pony tapped the papers again. “Well, I’m looking right here, when the Magic-user talks to the cops.”

“Uh huh.” If the pony hadn’t known any better, he might have mistaken that half-hearted response with inattention. He knew much, much better than that now.

“It’s just…do we really need to know everyone’s stories here? I mean, we learn everything about them: how one will have a heart attack in a few years when he sees The Termaneator in theaters and realizes Arnold Schwarzeneighger sounds just like Jack Trot does here, how this random convenience store owner only got into the job because his father wanted him to take on the family business, and his since spent every day regretting not going to college instead. Do we really need to know all this?”

The pony had been expecting a retort, some sort of backlash on that one, maybe even a rant about the virtues of world-building. Instead, what he got was the changeling giving the page of his newspaper a little flip and crossing his legs again. “Nah.”

“Er…what?”

“I said nah. We don’t really need to know the stories of the two cops. Believe me, I know, we’re never gonna see them again, just like we’re never gonna see the drug store owner later on. We learn his story too, and all he gets is half a chapter! Yet by the end of that chapter, we know about his nervous disorder, his eating problem, and on and on.”

“And he tells us this…why?”

“Because Gryphen King loved this story,” at that, the changeling folded up his newspaper and looked the pony directly in the eyes. “He loved the world of the Dark Tower with a passion, and he loved Eddie and Oy and Suzannah and Jake and everyone in the story. In a way, you can look at the Dark Tower as a collection of stories set in that world, all part of a single over-arching plot.”

The changeling paused to allow a quick snicker to pass between them at the mention of plot, then continued: “Hell, looking at it another way, everything Gryphen King has written could be seen as part of the world of the Dark Tower. Walter, the demon who hounds the Magic-user, is also ‘The Trottin’ Dude,’ who unleashes the super-virus that sets up the plot for ‘The Stand.’ He’s also Flagg, the evil magician in ‘The Eyes of the Drake.’ Father Stallihan, the preacher from ‘Salem’s Lot,’ pops up again in Volume Five of the Dark Tower canon, ‘Timberwolves of the Stallah.’ King wrote that chapter with the drugstore owner and the other chapter with the cops because he wanted to learn their stories, because he was so deeply in love with this story he wanted to expand on it, even if all he added was a nobody pharmacist from lower Manehattan.”

“Wow,” the pony looked down at the papers again, eyes widening. Whether it was with new respect for the author or new fear for his craft was anyone’s guess. He looked up again after a few minutes and frowned. “Didn’t Gryphen King write, like, a hundred books?”

“Over fifty so far, and that’s not even counting the short stories and scripts,” the changeling replied, returning to his newspaper.

“And you’re saying they all contain some reference to The Dark Tower?”

“The novels do. Not every short story does, but some.”

The pony let out a long, impressed whistle. “Sounds less like love and more like obsession.”

“There is a fine line, yeah,” the changeling snorted, rustling his paper. “Just ask the Trakkies.”

“You’re not into that show?”

“You sound surprised. I guess I just couldn’t get into it, y’know?”

“Shatner too much for ya?”

The changeling looked up from his paper, which made twice in the same conversation. Good Celestia above, the pony half-wondered if it was his birthday. “That series is over fifty years old,” the changeling growled. “How old do you think I am?”

“What? It has modern fans.”

The changeling just snickered and shook his head, and the pony took the opportunity to snicker along and sink back into his thoughts. For a while, they remained that way, the pony engrossed in his reading while the changeling sipped at his coffee and occasionally whipped out his pencil to scrawl a few notes in the margin. After some time, the pony looked up with a half-giggling snort and a massive grin.

“Well, I guess it’s not so bad for those cops and that drugstore owner.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah!” The pony’s grin widened. “Because at the end of it all, at least they got some plot!”

The changeling snorted, a half-smile on his face. The pair readied themselves for another minutes-long giggling fit, but then, in yet another moment that would have inflamed Bait and Twilight’s paranoid fantasies about demonic gods waiting for comedically-timed moments to destroy mortals’ lives had they seen it, Princess Luna came crashing out of the sky, landing flank-first against the side of the pony’s face and sent him flying through the little bistro he and the changeling had been enjoying their tutoring session in front of.

The changeling watched, wide-eyed, as the Princess slowly picked herself up, glaring hatefully up at the sky. She spat a tiny glob of blood out the corner of her mouth. Above, General Chickit grinned, the air around his body shimmering with power as his wings buzzed to keep him hovering in place. His forelegs crossed nonchalantly over his barrel as he gazed down at the Princess. Luna snorted in frustration, and stomped a hoof, charging forward again. As she took off to resume the battle, it occurred to the changeling still seated that it had been very rude of him to not at least offer one of his napkins to her for the blood on her cheek. Pony or not, she was still royalty after all.

His attentions turned back to his little pony friend. Setting the newspaper aside, the changeling dropped to all fours and made his way into the little café, keeping an eye out for exposed rebar and broken glass. He certainly did hope the pony was alright. He’d invested a lot of time and effort into improving his writing skills…

And then it occurred to him: the pony’s last words before taking Luna’s royal ass in the face were “At least they got some plot.”

Okay, he was definitely checking up on the pony. Right after his giggle fit.

Luna twisted, just a hair too late to spare the pony reading in the cafe her royal tush. Gasping out a quick apology, she flipped over his head and landed on her hooves, skidding along the crystal cobblestone, wings fanning to slow herself to meet the General charging headlong into her.

He roared, a bestial sound that rose from his throat as they crashed through the front of the cafe, punching and jabbing and blocking amidst a storm of flying glass. A high-pitched scream sounded from a waitress, and Luna didn’t even have time to glance up before she had to shield from a green bolt aimed at her throat.

The General wasn’t a heavy-hitter, obviously, but he was fast, and quick to take advantage of even the slightest hint of an opening. Luna had to tap into every single blood-soaked moment from her time before her banishment to counter each blow, and even still, at most she would say they were a match for eachother.

Bucking back to gain a bit of room, her horn flared with wild magic. The General raised a shield, blue lightning clashing with green energy. He absorbed it at first, then his ear twitched, and he spared a quick glance to confirm the presence of a small mare by the counter. He grinned, angling his shield, and Luna’s next hit was deflected instead of simply being absorbed, singeing the top of the mare’s aquamarine mane. She whimpered, and Luna immediately halted her attack. Thinking fast, she dodged back out the window, hoping for the General to lunge at her again and bring their fight back out into the open.

To her dismay, he seized the small mare in his magic, lifting her whimpering, shivering form just a few inches off the ground. Her waitress’s apron fell from her shivering body. “All that power, and you’re restrained by a wish to keep your little ponies safe,” he rasped with a multi-layered voice filled with venom. A tiny bolt zapped against the mare’s flank, earning a whimper. “Pathetic.”

“Compassion for others is no weakness, creature!” Luna bellowed, stepping back into the shop, glaring evenly as her horn ignited.

The General drew the mare in closer, grinning evilly as his magic wrapped around a fetlock and started to pull.

“Assaulting the weak, however, is!” She added, nostrils flaring, eyes locked on his.

At that, the General growled, casting the mare aside. “I’ll show you weakness!” He roared, his magic focusing on her now, pressing against her, trying to crush her. In a flash, she countered, pressing back against his raw strength with her own. He grit his teeth. His muzzle clenched. His remaining fangs bared. Had he any sweat glands, a few beads would have surely gathered on his forehead. Finally, Luna pressed her hooves against the shield, adding her muscular strength to her magical. There was a spectacular burst of light, dazzling in its display, and perfect to give her an opening for her own charge.

She lunged, wings fanning to boost her speed as she slammed into him, sending them tumbling. Luna earned a few magically-imbued jabs before he could even reply. They slammed through a brick wall together, back out in the open, dizzy, but still searching for the other to land a few more precious hits. Finally without fear of collateral damage, her hooves lashed out again, earning a few feet. This time though, he didn’t follow. This time, he snarled, lowered his head, and a deep green glow shimmered over his horn’s length.

“So, pure magic against magic, eh?” She said, lowering her head and matching his stance, horn glowing in a similar manner. “Fine.”

Arcane energy flickered between them, blue and green lightning flitting and cracking against one another in a quick dance. The cobblestone beneath them crumbled as ponies and changelings alike ran screaming for their lives. Rocks rose from the fresh craters beneath them, the light between their horns dwarfing the sun in their eyes.

Then, he stole a quick glance with his eye again. She grinned, thinking his concentration broken, but then he angled his head just slightly. Sucking in a breath, Luna glanced to where he’d looked, only to have her worst fears confirmed. The General’s horn was now aimed dead-on at the form of a tiny filly, huddled next to a few loose bricks, her crystalline coat slowly growing green with the approaching blast of magic, her eyes widening with her impending doom.

Luna dove for her on instinct, magic dispelled in an instant, wings fanning to cover her. She gathered the filly in her hooves, hoping to simply grab her and swoop out of the way, knowing from the growing roar it was already too late. She managed to focus a half-hearted shield in the milliseconds before the arcane ball slammed into her back, steamrolling her defenses with ease. She screamed in pain as magic burnt along her body, blue coat burning to black in places. It was like drowning in fire, every nerve lit up with the pain of what was happening. The filly whimpered as they crashed into the ground ungracefully, Luna releasing her, already turning to stand again, already readying to keep up the fight, already knowing it had just been decided. That last hit had been dead on: her head spun, her every joint howled in pain, her shoulders had gone numb. Still, she turned, huffing and glaring as the General advanced.

“I’ll give you this much, a lesser creature would have been incinerated.” The General scoffed. Luna fired a wild shot at him. He deflected easily. “You would have stood a chance, Princess, but your compassion led you to failure.”

“Compassion. Is not--” she tried to step towards him, swooned, barely managed to catch herself. “N-not...”

His black, taloned hoof grabbed her around the throat, raising her in the air and slamming her back down, only to pick her up again and slam her down again. And again. And again. The street had been transformed into a pockmarked battleground by her body slamming into it. And still, she clung to consciousness. Still, she lashed out to fight on.

“You could have been so much more.” He sighed gazing down at her as she glared at him, her head at the bottom of its own crater. “A pity. So much potential, wasted.”

She only growled, scrabbling at his hoof, even as dark fuzz crept into her vision and filled her head like smoke. She aimed a blow at his wrists, but even those weakpoints were like hitting concrete. She tried to growl again, but she didn’t even have the air for that, and that realization made her lungs scream, first with warmth, then blazing to hot, screaming pain within what felt like seconds.

The General just kept staring down at her piteously, no longer even gloating, just watching her eyes bulge as her lungs betrayed her growing need for breath. Still, her hooves lashed out with the trained expertise of millenia, aimed for his crotch, the hinges in his knees, his gut, anything! But the magic boosted his chitin’s strength to steel. With her own spent, she was helpless against it.

He leaned down, obviously intent on savoring her last moments, even through the scratches and cuts on his face. A desperate, growling thing reared up within her. She was not going to let this be the last thing she saw on this planet! She was not going to let this madstallion win! She was a princess! He was a villain! She couldn’t permit this to end this way! Even as her hooves grew weak as babies’. Even as her eyes shut on their own accord. Even as the sounds around her grew further and further away…

Tired.

She was so tired.

Colonel Thrace was not having a good day. The tiny, ragtag collection of ponies and traitors had proven a near-even match for his forces, and while the majority of his forces were still intact, he didn’t know how much longer that would last. Especially now that one of the traitors had turned himself into a massive, razor-toothed monster and the other had become something from those Neighponese comic books that made him irrationally angry to see around the barracks.

“Colonel, sir?” Chickit’s third-in-command, Lieutenant Plexus, sighed from his place at the Colonel’s flank. “The battle is taking too long. I recommend we use Contigency-Delta.”

Thrace’s teeth gritted. “We’ve used subterfuge this entire time, that’ll bring it out in the open.”

“Everyone’ll learn later on today anyway,” Plexus shrugged. “What’s a few hours?”

Thrace glowered. He had so wanted to end this himself, show his commander that once again, he was a worthy Second, especially now, on the eve of the Praetorian’s ascension. But now a loss was a possibility, he was pragmatic enough to know it, and having to call in a planned-for contingency would look better than losing a battle to a bunch of traitors and young-adult mares.

“Carry out Contingency-Delta, go ahead.” He said simply.

“Yes sir,” was the only reply he got, followed by the fluttering of elytra.

The Colonel’s frown didn’t last long after that. He may have had to call on resources he didn’t want to, but after all, this battle wouldn’t be lasting much longer. And he was really looking forward to the looks on those traitors’ faces when they realized they’d just lost everything.

“Baity! How’re you doing this!?” Pinkie giggled as the robot cartwheeled.

“You need not believe in yourself, pink one!” The smaller changeling shrieked back. “You need not even believe in me! Only believe in the pink that believes in you!”

Pinkie’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening as if she just saw the Maker as a blush rose on her cheeks. “Oh wow...” she whispered, then reached out a hoof to guide a swing from the wildly-spinning robot arm into a cluster of bad guys. Between them, the other girls, and whatever the hay Switch had turned into, the battle had suddenly taken a turn, and now they were practically running up to the front Throne room.

Except for Chickit, of course...where’d he gotten to?

“Pinkie! You seem troubled!?” Bait announced beside her, pressed against her as the robot performed a graceful pirouette that annihilated yet another row of troopers.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing.” she glared out of her small viewing slat. “Thought I saw something out there. But I’m not sure...”

“Don’t be distracted by the what-ifs, should-haves, and if-onlys. The one thing that you choose for yourself – that is the truth of your universe.” He replied sagely.

Her mind reeled again. “Gosh, you’re speakin’ my language but good!” She giggled, the blush deepening.

Suddenly, there was a loud thud, and Pinkie looked up in time to see the massive doors to the throne room slam shut, followed by the realization that all the important-looking changelings on the steps were now gone.

“Cowards!” She shouted, shaking a hoof formed into a fist. “Yellow-bellies!”

At that, the robot finally came to a standstill, and Bait snarled, sliding down the back of one leg with his fangs flashing. “When a man strays from the right path, a kind man needs the courage to raise his fist and correct him!” He announced, galloping up to the massive doors and thudding a balled-up hoof against them. “So come out here and let me correct you, you cowards! Who the hell do you think I am!?”

“Uhh...” Bait leaned down beside Pinkie’s ear, his voice still a massive rumble. “Is he...is he okay?”

“More than okay,” Pinkie giggled, wrapping a hug around Bait’s waist as he continued to pound on the door. Behind them, Rarity set to work freeing the few stallions that hadn’t been dragged to the throne room yet. They all gazed up at the doors in concern.

“Ugh, can’t believe this,” Dash added, swooping in beside the others as the rest of the mares gathered around. “They locked themselves up in their like a buncha babies!?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe this myself,” Twilight said, her horn flaring against the doors’ crystalline structure. “Though I have to wonder if it was really out of cowardice.” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously as her magic began to flit along the doors, testing them for weakness and of course, finding none.

As Rarity trotted to join them, the pile of downed changelings heaped to one side of the hall shifted. She started to raise her hooves defensively, but sighed in relief as a familiar face emerged. “Miss Rarity!” Stu announced, appearing from under the pile, hoof already raised in a salute.

“Ah, Stuart,” Rarity said as she trotted to her friends, a pleasant smile rising on her face. “How are you and your little friends?”

Blushing, he lowered his hoof. “I’m fine, and the barkeep’s here,” he said as a maretini practically materialized in his hoof from deeper in the pile. “But most of us got captured and dragged in there.” He pointed a free hoof to the massive doors.

“Ah, those rapscallions. No problem Stuart, we will fix it up right as rain.” She sighed, her muzzle slightly wrinkled as she turned to continue down the hall, taking her place beside her friends. “Check the rest of the palace and make sure we don’t have more changelings coming, will you?”

With a nod, the stallion darted away down the hall as she joined the group forming up around the throneroom entrance. After a moment, one of them spoke up:

“...So is nopony gonna bring up the tall-ass changeling in the room? F’real?” Applejack finally asked, a hoof waving out to the suddenly-large ‘ling.

“Actually, I was starting to wonder about that,” Fluttershy whispered, finally piping up from beneath his bulk. “Switch? How didja get so big?”

“And on that note, Bait,” AJ turned to the smaller changeling, still pounding away at the door. “How come yer lookin’ like those mango characters m’little sister’s always goin’ on about?”

At that, the smaller changeling chuckled, finally pausing in his assault on the door. “Bah, why look back on such things?” He murmured. “God gave us eyes on the front of our heads so we can look forward to our future!” And with that, he resumed beating on the door.

“Actually, I was wondering about that,” Switch admitted. “But it helped turn the tides back there, so I figured it was best not to question it.”

AJ paused, opened her mouth, then chuckled. “Ayuh, that sounds pretty standard...you boys’ll fit right on in back home.” She muttered.

At that, the pounding abruptly stopped. Bait turned to face her, the strange glint gone from his eyes. Switch joined him in looking. “H-home? As in...with you all?” Switch asked in a voice that was growing noticeably higher in pitch, approaching normalcy even as he spoke, only to earn a gentle prod to his shoulder.

“Ummm...Switch, sweetie?” Fluttershy asked, a warm smile on her face. “The um...the princess? Luna likely needs our help.”

“Oh, yeah,” he replied, voice deepening again. “After the fight, after the fight...”

The mares all shared a look and giggled, all turning to the gaping, shattered window, just as a green flash filled the hallway. “Umm...what was that?” Twilight asked as the flash dissipated in the distance.

The stallions paled, black ears folding down. “Oh...oh no...oh nononono...” Switch gasped.

Even Bait’s seemingly-animated smile suddenly paled. “I can’t even rest in peace, can I?” He asked as the pair galloped to the window.

“What’s going on!?” Twilight screamed, scrambling to keep up.

“They didn’t, they wouldn’t do that, they’re Praetorians, they’d see it as cowardice!” Switch gasped as he skidded to a stop at the window’s edge. He paused, his jaw dropping.

“You gonna explain what in the hay’s goin’ on!?” AJ shrieked back.

“We can hardly help if we don’t know what’s...” Rarity paused, looked out the window, and her jaw dropped as well. Below them, the streets had become an endless, mulling, black tide of changelings, rushing towards the palace. Every changeling in the city now took flight, lifting off the streets to flit towards the palace, bearing down on them as one seething, wave not seen since the first days of the occupation; roaring, snarling, baring fangs as they tore for the throne room and, by extension, the small group of rebels.

“In the event of the Queen being endangered, a beacon spell is setup behind her throne to ensure she can call for help,” Switch rasped, watching the rising tide descend upon them. “Every changeling who receives this alert is instructed to drop whatever they’re doing, no matter how important it may be otherwise, and rush to her aid!”

In a flash, battle lines reformed, changelings pouring in from the windows, up the stairs, down from the roof, along the ceilings, covering the grand support columns with their black bodies, all eyes locked on the group, all baring down on them, all glaring as the ponies cowered back from the sheer numbers.

“Miss Rarityyyyy!” Stu screamed, barging up the stairs towards them, hooves waving desperately as he flung himself on the ground at their hooves. “The changelings are attacking! All of them!”

“Yes Stuart, I can see that. Thank you, darling,” she hissed.

As the swarm settled and a few thousand beady eyes glared down at the group, the doors swung open and the Praetorians strutted out again. One in especially-flashy armor leveled a hoof on them all. “Soldiers!” He shouted. “These traitors have used forbidden magic to twist their bodies and ally with the enemy! They have assaulted your queen and your fellow guards!”

“Setting us up again!?” Pinkie gasped, waving her hooves around. “That’s such a...a...”

“Bitch-ass move!” Switch roared.

“Now...to your duties!” The Praetorian roared.

“”Protect the Queen!” The Swarm thundered with one voice.

Switch cringed at that. “Ew...that is creepy from the other side.”

“Protect the Queen!” And the Swarm descended, a black flood cascading down the support columns and walls and funneling towards the group.

“Oh gosh...that’s a lotta changelings...” Rainbow gasped.

“Okay,” Twilight said, “We can do this, girls, we just gotta...”

“We, brawlers, are sustained by willpower even when mocked as reckless and crazy!" Bait suddenly screamed, galloping to meet the horde.

“Did he just--” Rarity started, but was interrupted as the Party Cannon Mk.II roared back to life, inexplicably sprinting under its own power, scooping up Pinkie as it went, who ducked back into the cockpit with a determined glare on her face.

“Hey, I’ve heard worse battlecries,” Dash added as she swooped over their heads and into the fray.

Sighing, Rarity glanced to her sides, watching as the black tide fell upon them. “Well, I can’t argue with that,” she muttered, then tensed as the first wave of changelings crashed into them.

Author's Notes:

Special thanks to TheNextGamer, for volunteering to be shoehorned into this mess!

Chapter XLIX: Final Battle, Part IV

It had been a forgone conclusion from the start.

The sheer numbers rumbling down on them, the oncoming waves, set the group on the back-hoof from the beginning. Though they weathered the first tide, it was just the first of many.

Still, Switch fought on, hauling up his former comrades, hurling them overhead even as they crashed against him, only to see them replaced with a few dozen more. Each body his massive talons threw was replaced with three, every two skulls he cracked was replaced by four, and every crotch his super-powered legs kicked was replaced by four.

Still, he fought on. Whipped around. Cracked a skull. Pounded a muzzle. A fang flew off here. A dribble of blood hit his cheek there.

“Pierce the Heavens!”

Bait had apparently turned into one of those protagonists from the Neighponnese comic books he’d read religiously in high school.

Just had to keep going. Just had to push through. Just had to...had to…

He knew it was only a matter of time until something happened and the dam burst, and finally it came. There was a crack. He looked up. Bait had just gone down to a club to the back of the head. Green ichor dribbled in the air. “Baaaiiit!” He screamed, and that moment of distraction was enough. A single guardling wrapped themselves around his neck. He shouted, threw him off, but the Swarm had gotten too close and the guard was replaced with three more. Then more around his legs. His torso. His thorax. He threw a wild jab at one of the changelings around his waist before slamming face-first into the tile. More piled on. He groaned, trying to force himself up from the sheer combined mass atop him, and a flurry of blows to the back of his head and shoulders told him that was a bad move. A bit of cold steel pricked into his spine. He clenched his teeth.

“Stoooooppppp!” He heard. He managed a peek through the dogpile out at the yellow mare standing just outside, gazing back at him through the mass of writhing limbs with wide, desperate eyes. “Don’t hurt him...please...” she whimpered, even as a flurry of changelings took her by the forehooves and pressed her to the ground.

“Fluffershy...nogh...” he choked out, his chest weighed down, his face pressed hard into the tile. But already, her wings were bound in goop once more. She shivered, visibly suppressing tears as she was bound.

“Him too!” Another voice shouted over the spell explosions and flying bolts. Switch managed a tiny groan against the weight on his chest as the robot knelt down and a set of pink hooves stepped into view. “Don’t hurt them...please don’t...” Pinkie sobbed as she too was pressed to the floor and bound.

Despite the ongoing explosions and whipping of wings, it was so obviously over. The chains circling around his hooves made it all a foregone conclusion. Pinkie’s face appeared in his little viewhole between the masses of black bodies holding him, pressed down by a hole-filled hoof. She caught sight of him and tried to smile, but even that was rendered pointless by her tears.

A few minutes passed, and he felt the last shackles click into place, the last explosion sounding, the last crack of hooves on chitin. Finally, he was hauled up by his bonds, getting a clear view of the battle they’d lost. The whole hall was filled with changelings, crowding every surface, even the support beams, all glaring at him. Somewhere in the crowd, Fluttershy’s massive eyes locked on him, shimmering with tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so--” he started to say before a hoof cracked against his chin.

“No talking!” One of the Praetorians barked as he was hauled from their spot on the floor to the throne room, his bound form passed along atop hooves like a slightly-more-gentle mosh pit. Eventually, he was unceremoniously dumped at the edge of the crowd. Beside him, Bait ‘oofed’ as well, along with the six mares and few remaining stallions.

Rolling onto his back, Bait looked up at the Colonel and snarled. “You fought dirty.”

“We fought to win.” The Colonel scoffed. “You fought with friendship and love on your side. Which was adorable.”

“Let’s see how adorable I am when I ram a hoof up your ass!” Rainbow shrieked, bucking against her bonds.

The Colonel only chuckled as his Praetorians dragged the group into the throne room, the doors already closing to seal them off. He waved the rest of the guardlings off without so much as a second look, so intent on the new prisoners he was adding to the old.

“Sir!” One of his Praetorians saluted. “All prisoners are secure in the throne room!”

“Wonderful...” Col. Thrace chirped. “And the other prisoners? The stallions?”

“One of them peed a little, sir.”

“Excellent,” the Colonel chortled as he turned to the bound mares and their changeling companions. “The almighty Elements of Harmony, proving the power of friendship once again!”

“Miss Rarity!” The group all looked to the captured stallions they had been so intent on rescuing just minutes before. The bartender gazed back at them with a black eye, but otherwise none the worse for wear.

“Ahh...boys.” Rarity sighed. “I do hope you’re feeling well.”

“They took my snifters, the heartless bastards!” He harumphed, settling back in the goo encasing him like a burrito made out of snot and pony. “But other than that, we’re fine.

“For now,” the Colonel scoffed, and the group all turned in their bonds to glare at him.

“You let us go right now, you...you...” Pinkie started.

“...You overgrown, cockroach-like, traitorous pile of McLosers with extra fuckhead sauce!” Bait screamed.

“Dude, that was actually a decent insult,” Dash remarked.

“Well he’s better’n Pinkie, that’s fer sure,” Applejack remarked, even as Bait huffed.

“Traitors?” The Colonel hissed back at them. “We’re the only truly-loyal changelings there are!”

“Oh great. The villain speech.” Twilight groaned, settling back and wishing her hooves were free and that she had a decent book to read.

“We’ve always been the ones to knock the Swarm back on the proper path!” The Colonel barked. “Changelings are mighty because of our strength! Our will! We don’t go around, singing lovely little songs about how wonderful friendship is, we fight and we struggle and we! Win!”

“Raahhhh!” The assembled changelings bellowed, spears rising in a chorus.

“Ohmygosh I haven’t seen this much male insecurity and posturing since the last Crystal Bowl...” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“Now, the only question left is this...” he grinned, pulling a dagger out from the scabbard on his armor. All the defiant grimaces and growls gave way to wide, terrified eyes.

“H-hey now...” one of the stallions stammered. “Th-there’s no need for that.”

“Y-yeah, y-you already won...right?” Pinkie added with a nervous little smile.

“Oh of course, and don’t worry, ponies have their own place in the Swarm.” The Colonel’s smile turned cold and passionless as his gaze fell upon the changeling duo, bound in chains and set to the side. “Traitors, though, have no place anywhere.”

“No...WAIT! Waitwaitwait...” Pinkie gasped.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt them if we gave up!” Fluttershy wailed.

“Oh, that was the regular army. We Praetorians are our own separate entity.” The Colonel tsked, waving a hoof like a parent teaching their foal a hard lesson while advancing on the pair. “Probably should have been paying more attention to our military structure.”

“Th-then let’s make a deal!” Pinkie said. “We’ll...we’ll give you anything!”

The Colonel paused, resting the tip of his blade on his lips. “Anything?”

“Wh-whatever you want!”

The Colonel seemed to give this a moment of thought, the mares leaning forward with hope, but then his gaze sank back to the bound changelings.

“By order of Praetorian high-command.” He hissed, the dagger rising. “Traitors shall not be permitted to live.”

The Colonel advanced, only pausing to determine who would be first to die. Even as the mares cried for mercy, the changelings could only exchange a glance.

“Well dude, I guess that’s it,” Switch rumbled.

“Yeah man...damn, who’d a’ thought we’d go out like this?” Bait added.

“Bound by our fellow changelings after fighting alongside the mares who were our sworn enemies not even a month ago?” Switch chortled. “Sounds like something out of a cheesy-ass bitstore paperback.”

Bait looked up at the advancing Colonel and gulped. “If this is a cheesy paperback, now would be a really good time for a deus ex machina...” he remarked.

Cadence’s eyes drifted open, and then squeezed shut. The nightmare still wasn’t over. She was still stuck in here, her beloved Shining still nowhere to be seen, and the only development outside still being the occasional shift of the changeling guard.

Which...was absent at the moment.

Desperately, she threw herself into a renewed series of struggles. For the first time, she wasn’t being watched! This was her chance! If she could just break free…

Weeks of being stuck in one spot had done her no favors, however, and she found her limbs stiff and weak, even without the goo fighting her. She bit back tears, not wanting to allow her captors to see her cry, but with freedom literally inches away from her hooves, it was hard.

A new shape appeared in her vision. She shrank back, but then she noticed its rich color. One of her little ponies! “H-hey! HEY!” She shouted, throwing herself against her cell. “I’m in here! Please!”

“I hear ya!” The shape spat, their voice so loud Cadence could hear it from the other side of the room and through the walls of her pod. “I hear ya, just...hoboy.”

Cadence paused, biting her lip as she settled back. By that sound, she knew the voice belonged to a mare, but with that ragged wheezing, she sounded like she was in trouble. “E-excuse me? Are you alright?”

“No...” the shape stumbled over the floor and practically rammed Cadence’s pod, sliding down along it. “Not even...a little...but what matters is...getting you...OUT!”

A loud hiss filled the air, the shape on the other side screaming as a warm spot materialized in Cadence’s goo. She gasped, backing up. “Are you sure you should--”

“Yes...I...AM!” The other pony shrieked as finally, a hoof stabbed into the pod, missing Cadence’s muzzle by inches. Still screaming, the hoof shaking as the pod sizzled around it, Cadence gasped as it opened a slight tear in the wall of her prison. Finally seeing her chance at freedom, she seized the hoof and, with a roar of her own, forced it down.

Despite the sizzling, there was barely any heat as Cadence forced the hoof down, using the other pony as a lever to force a tear in the pod’s side. After gaining just about a foot, Cadence stopped it. “Okay! I’m gonna try to slip out!”

The hoof retreated, and the pony on the other side hit the ground with an audible thump, goo pouring out of the breach. “H-hurry!” The mare cried in a ragged voice filled with desperation.

Cadence braced herself against the rear of the pod and pushed off with her hooves as hard and as fast as she could. She still only managed to get her shoulder and head out, but dear sweet Celestia did that fresh air feel good on her face. Like a thousand angels’ kisses. With a determined roar, the pink pony princess wriggled her way through the fissure, thanking the Maker for every calorie she’d forgone, every cupcake she’d had the strength to walk past, every cookie she’d left in the jar.

As she finally flopped out onto the crystal tile, she lay there panting, grateful just for the cool surface against her coat. She turned to her rescuer: a jet-black unicorn mare with emerald eyes and a yellow mane, also panting on the floor.

“Oh Maker...” Cadence gasped, smiling at the savior. “Thank you, madam, you have no idea what--”

“Oh, I have every idea!” The mare shouted, tried to press herself to her hooves, but apparently lacked the strength to make it all the way. “Ugh, damn...happening faster now...really determined to finish this...”

Cadence crawled over, legs trembling like a fawn fresh out of the womb. “Miss, are you alright? You don’t look so--”

“I know how bad I look!” The mare screamed, glaring at the princess with a surprising amount of vitriol. “I-it doesn’t matter! You need to get to him, finish this!”

“Him?” Cadence’s eyes widened. “Shiny!”

The mare nodded, then pointed to Cadence’s horn, and finally the princess noticed the tiny blob of goop shimmering off its tip. “That should be okay now...” she whispered. “Your wings too.”

“I...oh!” Cadence gasped, and shivered with delight as her wings slowly fanned themselves, more of the goop that had bound them for so long sliding off her feathers. “How did you--”

“The dolt, Princess!” The mare spat, voice hissing. “Find your idiot husband! Get your spell! Use your love, your magic, whatever, but get the changelings out!”

Cadence bit her lip, gazing over the mare in concern, but nodded. “Do you know...”

“Oh for...three cells down, it’s the only pod in there!” The mare shouted, her voice now cracking as tears stood out in her eyes. “Go!”

Cadence bit her lip and nodded. She didn’t usually like leaving her little ponies behind, but with the direness of the situation, she knew she had to make an exception. “I’ll be back for you.” She said before galloping out of the cell as quickly as her atrophied legs would carry her.

“Heh...you never were a stickler for details...Princess...” Chrysalis said as she laid there, watching the pink princess gallop to her beloved. Watching Cadence’s flank as she darted around the corner, she turned back to her own blank booty. No cutie mark would be awfully suspicious for a mare her age, but given Cadence’s state, she didn’t think it’d be noticed. And she’d been right.

Splaying out entirely on the ground, Chrysalis gasped in a breath. Her task done, something inside her gave way, and the pressure in her chest exploded. Her sight darkened. A fuzzy blackness filled her skull. But hey, at least it didn’t hurt anymore. No, it was more like a final peace. Just a final gasp before the end.

Well, she could die knowing her mother’s murderer would taste some justice. And hopefully his own ass, if he managed to land badly enough. Really, that was her one regret, she wouldn’t be able to see the look on his face when those two lovebirds threw Chickit’s ass out of the Empire.

Well...okay, there was that, and one other thing.

A tear escaped her eye, her smaller, transformed fangs squeezing out from between her downturned lips. “L-Luna...” she managed. What could have become of that? A new alliance with Equestria’s might? New resources to exploit? Deals to broker? Picnics under the moon? Romantic outings on starlit rivers? A ceremony with tons of flowers where she finally got to wear her mother’s dress?

Heh. Or maybe just a catastrophic break-up.

Would’ve been fun either way.

She gasped in another breath. It was hard now. Every breath needed to be wrestled from the air, battled into submission and forced into her chest. She didn’t have long. It would all be over soon.

Her Swarm.

Her nation.

Her long road to the throne.

Her mother...

”...the stars, Chryssie...like the stars were something they made for you...”

“S-sorry mother...” Chrysalis sighed as her eyes drifted shut. “I found ‘er...took too long to figure it out...th-though...”

As her lips formed that last ‘oh,’ darkness filled her vision. Her breath wheezed out. The light thudding of her heart paused, stuttered out a couple more beats, and finally, strangled by the tendrils of the curse, squeezed its last. Somewhere far off, a burst of magic sounded. Deep in Chrysalis’s brain, a few neurons perceived this as a positive thing.

As she would have thought if she were still capable of it, Chrysalis was promptly scooped up by the wave of pink magic that echoed towards her from a few cells down. What she never would have expected would be to bounce harmlessly off the far wall, landing on the crystal floor with an undignified thud, her eyes bulging open.

“HURK...” she managed before spinning onto her stomach to puke another spurt of black, viscous liquid. Heaving, she groaned, gasped in another breath, and…

And she was fine.

Still gasping, she pressed herself against the ground, slowly rising with trembling hooves. Trembling, hole-filled hooves she noted: she’d lost her disguise. And apparently, not just that. Gasping in air, she looked down at herself, panting, amazed at the ease her breath came.

Her limbs dropping, Chrysalis moaned as she gazed around the cell. Her body trembled, weak as a kitten, but air rushed in and out. Gone was the vice-like grip on her lungs. Gone was the thudding of her struggling heart. She was...perfectly okay.

“What the buck!?” A voice gasped from the door.

Despite the aching weakness forcing her body to tremble, Chrysalis chuckled. “Couldn’t have said it better my--” she started, but interrupted herself on turning to the doorway and finding Cadence and Shining Armor standing there, glaring back at her.

“Ohh, this is awkward,” she managed before a set of twin blasts slammed her against the wall yet again.

Chapter L: Post-Battle

When the pink flash filled the sky, Luna was the first to see it from her position on the ground, and a spark of hope reared up within her. The General had seen it too, she watched his eyes flicker off her, momentarily distracted. It was her chance! Drawing upon reserves of final, desperate energy, driven by the hope that what she’d just seen was something and not the flickers of dying neurons, Luna shoved her hooves against his chest and pressed up with every last bit of her fading strength.

The General’s remaining eye bulged, and he gasped as suddenly, he flew away, and not of his own accord by the look on his face and the wave of magic that engulfed them both.

Luna gasped in a breath. The darkness fled her vision. The burning in her lungs screamed for more, and her next few breaths came in greedily, tasting as sweet as any of the cakes her sister forced the castle bakers to make 24/7. But she knew she didn’t have time to enjoy it!

Pivoting on her good wing, she rose to her hooves, horn igniting with a shield spell for…

She gasped.

...for an attack that would never come.

Neither had noticed in all their fighting, but the cafe had been left in worse shape than they would have guessed. Splintered beams and shattered concrete laid everywhere, especially around the hole they had punched through the wall. Right next to the hole, Chickit lay splayed out, like a butterfly pinned down in an exhibit. A massive splinter of wood from the partially-collapsed awning rammed down his throat, ichor dribbling off the end, which had burst through his chest by way of his mouth. Apparently, when the pink explosion had hit, he’d looked up in an attempt to save himself, but only managed to offer his gaping maw to the spear.

His gaping eyes stared back into the cafe, already dead. Mercifully, the explosion seemed to have stripped him of enough magic not just for the splinter to pierce him, but to also allow him a quick death. Luna’s defensive posture lowered as she stood there, panting. He had been a terrible enemy, obviously wishing for great and terrible things for herself and all ponykind, perhaps his fellow changelings as well. But to die in this way...

“You could have been magnificent yourself, General.” She sighed, reaching over and gently shutting his eyes. “If only you’d let friendship into your heart.”

After a moment, a twisted smile crossed her face. “And not a big ol’ stake,” she muttered, then after looking around to make sure nopony had heard, giggled at herself. Tia had been trying to get her to tune down her darker sense of humor, but sometimes one could not help oneself.

Tia...

She gasped, wings flaring as she turned towards the walls. Her sister would be just beyond them, and after her near-death experience, there were few ponies she’d rather see. She could wrap herself around her sister for the first time in weeks, and lead her in an all-out assault upon the Empire to end this fiasco once and for all.

But…

She paused. Her gaze drifted back to the Palace.

What of Chrysalis? Was she even still alive? Or the Element Bearers, even? Could they all be in dire straits and in desperate need of help?

Sparing a sideways glance at the Empire’s walls, that last thought got Luna flapping in the direction of the Crystal Palace. That massive explosion, and the black shapes flung into the distance, would have to be signal enough for Tia. She needed to get back there!

When the explosion rumbled through the castle, the Praetorians stumbled on their hooves, the dagger meant for Bait’s and Switch’s throats clattering to the ground. The once-proud stallions gasped, orders filling the air in shouts as they ran around the chamber in an organized and highly-regimented panic.

“What the hay was that!?” Pinkie shouted as the floor rumbled beneath them.

Bait and Switch only exchanged glances while the ponies all watched the Praetorians in confusion, who in turn screamed about impact formations and high-speed trauma prep. What had just sounded beneath them was known to all changelings, except for some of the nymphs who were too young to be part of the Canterlot invasion. It had been the last thing many of them had heard before being blasted to the far corners of Equestria.

“Never thought my neck’d be saved by something like that.” Switch chuckled.

“Don’t be too sure. We’re still in chains, remember?” Bait rattled his bonds for emphasis. “If we don’t break our necks on impact, these guys will probably be more than happy to finish us off.”

“Oh. Right.” Switch sighed. “Still, what’s important is they’ll be alright.” He angled his head towards the mares still looking around at the panicked Praetorians in confusion.

“Yeah, silver linings.” Bait muttered, closing his eyes and waiting for the blast. “It is better this way.”

Switch smiled as he watched a pink glow rise from the crystalline floor. The magic hit. They let out a breath. Switch felt himself go weightless. Their heads swam. Around them, Praetorians swore and cursed as they were lifted off their hooves, thrown like army men in a spoiled colt’s toy chest. He prepared himself to join them.

And then the pair landed on the ground once more. Switch paused, looked around, but could only see a bunch of armor-shaped holes where a small group of Praetorians had once stood. He craned his neck all around, looking like he had that time Bait introduced him to cosplay and anime conventions. This didn’t go as he’d thought…

“AHHHHH!” Bait screamed from beside him, thrashing around in his chains, eyes still closed. “Too high! Too high! We’re gonna diiiiiiiiee! We’re gonna diiiiiieeee! We’re gonna blow up and diiiiiiiieee!”

“Dude, not in front of the mares.” Switch hissed at him.

Bait’s eyes bolted open. “Wah...” he started, looking around and realizing he was most decidedly not sailing towards the stratosphere. His head whipped all around, eyes blinking. “Huh!?” He gasped.

“Was that...” Twilight started, now standing free of the goop that had held her.

“It was, yeah.” Bait shouted. In a flash, Pinkie took one look at him and, squealing with delight, galloped to his side. She was only a hair ahead of Fluttershy, as they rushed to their respective stallions’ sides.

“You’re okay you’re okay you’re okay!” Pinkie shrieked, holding up Bait’s bound form and pressing it into a chitin-crushing hug.

“Uhhh...yeah, I guess so,” Bait chuckled, though he remained visibly confused.

Fluttershy paused in her swooping, came down in front of Switch, and looked over his larger body with a little smile. “Ummm...I’m really glad you’re okay,” she said, blushing as one hoof raised to rub along the other.

“Hnnnnnnnggghhhhh…” replied Switch, as well as his heart.

“Yes...they’re okay...” Twilight said, gazing up at the taller changelings. “But..how?”

Switch shrugged. “You’re the smart one here, shouldn’t you know?”

Just then, Luna crashed into the room, pounding the tile with a massive swoop of her wings. “RAHHHHH...” she started, leaping after the changelings left in the room, only to be stopped by Pinkie and Fluttershy diving into her path.

“Oh not again...” Switch whimpered, watching his marefriend hold back the snarling princess like a mole attempting to stop a speeding locomotive.

Fortunately, one look at the pair and Luna suddenly settled back, letting out a snort. “Oh, it’s you.” She sighed.

“Great to see ya too, mooncheeks.” Bait snarked.

“Princess!” Twilight gasped, dashing to Luna’s side. “Did you see that love blast!? Was it...”

“Yes, and yes,” Luna said, holding up a hoof to quiet Twilight before a long rant could begin. “It was quite fortuitous timing, for our battle with yon traitorous wretch might have ended far more differently had it not been for the...” she waved a hoof in the air as she searched for the right words. “...lovesplosion.”

“So...does that mean Cadence and Shining Armor busted out?” Switch asked. “But how?”

“That’s a question she might be able to answer!”

Everyone turned to the new voice, only to be distracted by the long, black shape pitched at their hooves. Their eyes all widened as they gaped at none other than Chrysalis herself, bound in tight chains, with a half dozen magic suppressors forced over her long and crooked horn. Her muzzle had been locked shut with a few extra lengths of chain. She glared around at the gathered ponies with an angry, muffled hiss.

“Chryssie!” Luna gasped, running to the queen’s side, and immediately Chrysalis’s eyes softened. In a burst of magic, the chains holding her muzzle fell away, and she let out a despondent grunt as her captors strode into view.

“Cady! Shiney!” Twilight gasped, galloping to the royal couple’s side to pull them each into a hug. “You’re okay!”

“Oof,” Shining finally smiled as he returned the hug. “Oh Twily, it’s good to see you too.”

“But what are they doing here!?” Cadence shouted, pointing to Bait and Switch.

“Sister, we’re just as confused as you are,” Bait huffed.

“Sister!?” She shouted, advancing as a cornflower-blue hue rose on her horn. “I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire, and you will address me as such, you overgrown cockroach!”

But suddenly, Pinkie was in her face, glaring as a growl rose in her throat like a leashed guard dog. “Don’t you talk about my stallionfriend that way! Don’t you dare!”

“S-stallionfriend!?” Cadence gasped, then understanding dawned and she chuckled. “Oh, I see, you were...”

“Don’t.” Luna sighed, massaging her temples. “Believe me, we’ve been down that road. It’s not that.”

“Whatever do you mean, Auntie?”

“Ummm...” Fluttershy shivered as she stepped forward. “I-I really like...I really like that one...” she whispered, pointing to the larger stallion, who had recovered enough from his heart attack to blush in return.

“What in the...” Shining turned to Twilight, eyes wide and blank, hoping for something resembling sense to come from her mouth.

“It’s a long, long story.” She said with a deadpan.

“How did this happen!?” Cadence gasped.

“It’s not that hard to figure out!” Pinkie shouted back.

“Well pardon me for reeling at the impossible here!”

“Why’s this so hard!? I love him, he loves me, we’re gonna make a great, big family!”

“Ummmm...what?” Bait put in as the ponies devolved into shouts, accusation of Stocksholm syndrome, and quiet assertions of actually quite liking certain large changeling stallions. All of it brought to a screeching halt by a single voiced assertion from the now-gaping throne room doors:

“Ummmmm...”

The group all turned, where a few changelings stood stock-still, eyes wide in fear.

“We were looking for her...” one said, pointing to Chrysalis. “Is this a bad time or...”

The ponies only frowned and advanced, horns charging with power.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” the changeling sighed as they all raised their hooves.

Chapter LI: Love Wins In The End

In the history of awkward setups, there are few more awkward than what took place in the Crystal Throne Room immediately after the “Lovesplosion” that expelled the Praetorians and, apparently, some of the changeling regulars, but not all.

Thanks to Cadence and Shining Armor’s reaction, Chrysalis sat just at the foot of the throne, chains running through her legs in an interlocking web. Her horn, jagged as it was, had plenty of crystalline shards added to it courtesy of Cadence. And while Luna had managed to convince the couple to remove the massive gag they’d shoved into Chryssie’s mouth, they had only done so if the remaining changelings were restrained.

The royal couple now sat side-by-side with the other mares, barring Luna who had inexplicably decided to sit closer to Chrysalis. In the middle of the room, Bait, Switch, and at least a dozen other changelings remained, heavily restrained in shackles from the Crystal Dungeons beneath their hooves.

Securing the last shackle on the last surprisingly-compliant changeling, Cadence took her seat next to Twilight, sitting with the other mares and token stallion. “Well, at least that was the last of them,” she huffed, glaring out over the crowd.

“Our love spell was a lot more thorough last time,” Shining grumbled, glaring alongside his wife as one of her wings fanned around his shoulder. He pulled it tight around himself, not even pausing in his glaring.

“I don’t get why Auntie Luna doesn’t just cast them out with her own magic already.” Cadence remarked, adding her own extra-toasty special glare at Chrysalis. If looks could kill, the changeling queen would have died a dozen times over by that point, not that she seemed to notice. Or care.

“At the very least, we need to determine why these changelings were spared where so many of their brethren were not,” Twilight said, inspecting a changeling separated from the rest of the group. Without looking up, her magic reached out and pinned the tail of the pink mare trying to creep closer to the mass of changelings. “Besides, things have been a little...complicated around here.”

“Oh?” Cadence asked, eyeing Pinkie curiously whimpered, forcibly dragged back to the other mares. “I don’t see how it can get so complicated that we’d tolerate a bunch of these bugs in the Crystal Palace!”

Twilight sighed. “Believe me, if I had six years, six months and twenty-nine days, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.” She stood up from them, pulling a chalkboard apparently out of thin air. “And besides that, what I can tell you about our new friends here is that they have very little in common, aside from all being regular army.”

Rarity nodded. “None of those Praetorian brutes, I see.”

“Nope. But other than that, we have a pretty even distribution of genders and builds here, from petite mares to buff stallions and everything in between.” She said, her gaze drifting off the chalkboard just long enough to lock eyes with a certain smaller changeling in the crowd before continuing.

“Ummm...why the hell did she look at me when she said that?” Bait asked.

“Uhhhh...maybe you’re one of the buff stallions?” Switch replied.

“No, she did it while she was saying ‘everything in between’.”

“Uhhhhh….dude, some things are better left unsaid.”

After a moment, a light flicked on in Bait’s eyes. His ears folded down. “Ow. My pride.”

Over by Luna and Chrysalis, the pair had taken to sitting rather close to one another at the edge of the dais. Every now and again, one of Luna’s wings would fan out, as if to reach for the queen, then would quickly fold back to her side.

“The uh...chains aren’t too tight, are they?” Luna managed to ask.

“No.” Chrysalis said, scouring her memories for any time she may have asked Luna about her own comfort in captivity. “They’re fine.”

Luna nodded. “Good, good...so…”

“So...Chickit looks like he beat you pretty badly,” Chrysalis went on, reaching up to her own throat with her chained hooves.

Sighing, Luna ran a hoof over the aching skin, knowing she likely had some very visible bruising around her neck. “He managed to gain the upper hoof by threatening a filly. Were these the olden days, he never would have lost all royal respect for such a cowardly, underhooved act.”

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

Luna shrugged. “A slight ache, we’ll survive.”

Chrysalis nodded again. After a few moments, she let in a breath, held it, tried to work up the words she wanted to say, then blew it out again.

“You...wish to know how he died?”

Chrysalis only nodded.

“We understand. ‘Twas not our hoof. At least, not directly. We used the force of yon couple’s explosion of love to shove him off, but in doing so, changed his trajectory right into the path of a pile of rubble. He was impaled upon it, down the throat and through the chest.”

Chrysalis nodded again, eyes still staring blankly out at the crowd, and right through them. “Well, that’s one way to a stallion’s heart,” she finally remarked.

It took all of Luna’s fortitude to suppress her laughter, disguising it as a dainty cough behind her hoof. When her leg dropped, Chrysalis was gazing at her, face unreadable.

“What?” Luna asked.

“You have a dark sense of humor.” Chrysalis said flatly.

“I...you noticed, huh?” Luna said, a blush rising on her cheeks.

“I like that.”

Luna finally just nodded, turning away. “Th-thanks,” she said.

Chrysalis only groaned. “Luna, I’m...so, so sorry.”

Eyes widening, Luna whipped around to face her. “What?”

“You’re a treasure, I mean it.” Chrysalis sighed, unable to look her in the eye. “You saved my kingdom from the rule of a tyrant, forgave me the injuries I inflicted upon you, and put an end to a long conspiracy within my own ranks that has likely killed many a royal before me.

She hitched in a breath. “And I’ve been nothing but wretched to you this entire time.”

“We...were a prisoner.”

“That’s no excuse!” Chrysalis’s voice rose a hair in volume, and with a quick glance around to see if anypony noticed amidst Twilight’s ongoing auditory bombardment, she lowered it again. “That’s no excuse. I knew what kind of pony you were, and still, when Chickit set you and your own up for the fire in the nursery, I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.”

“You had every reason to believe...”

“No, I didn’t.” Chrysalis hissed with a light stomp of her hoof. “I didn’t. I let my emotions cloud my judgment, and I played right into that madstallion’s hooves. Were it not for you, I would have simply died in that throne room and his evil flank would be in control of everything. Thousands of ponies and changelings would have suffered, all because I thought a crush...”

She cut herself off with a gasp, realizing how much she’d revealed, but Luna only smiled. “You thought your crush on me was being manipulated?”

After a long moment, Chrysalis nodded.

After another long moment, Luna’s wing finally fanned out to wrap around her shoulder. Chrysalis flushed a deep emerald.

“You’re blushing, your highness.” Luna giggled.

“Sh-shut it.” Chrysalis grumbled.

“Baka~” A changeling with strangely-large eyes added from the crowd.

Luna couldn’t help the smile that drifted onto her lips. She also couldn’t help but to gaze over the changeling in her grasp. Chrysalis stared stubbornly ahead, apparently determined to go without acknowledging her for as long as possible until finally, she caved, turning to the princess. “What’s that look for?”

“Has anypony told you how adorable you are?”

The blush now traveled over Chrysalis’s shoulders, cascading down her neck and halting just short of her chest. Luna smirked. “That’s a new trick, I take it using transformation magic to change colors means you’re recovering?”

“Sh-shut it, i-it’s not like that!” Chrysalis grumbled. “And you darn well know it!”

“Yes.” Luna replied, her muzzle leaning in. “I do.”

Chrysalis blanched, seeming at a loss of words, and then, she looked away, already working up the courage for what she knew had to come next. “Luna...” she started. “I...”

Suddenly, a loud thud filled the room. All eyes turned to the large set of doors leading out to the hallway. Twilight’s magic warmed up and she rose as Luna swooped over and opened it a crack. Much to everypony’s relief, a crystal mare stood there, gazing in, her star-studded eyes shimmering in the weak light filtering through the goop on the windows.

“E-excuse me,” she said bashfully. “I-is this where the changelings were taken?”

“Yes...” Luna said carefully. “And...who would be asking?”

“Oh, m-my name is Amberlocks, your highness,” the mare swept in a little bow. “I-I was just wondering in case this is where Hissfang was taken.”

“Hissfang?” Luna asked.

“Amby!?” One of the changelings from the crowd stood on her hindlegs, blinking in surprise.

“Hissy!” The mare tried to shove her way in through the door, only to be blocked. She clambered up, reaching over Luna’s shoulder. “Hissy! I’m here!”

“Amby! Oh, Amby!” The changeling tried to reach for the crystal mare, only to be held back by her chains. “I’m so sorry Amby, I’m so sorry...”

“Don’t be Hissy, don’t be!” The mare shrieked as Luna shoved her bodily out the door. “I’ll wait for youuuuuuuuu...” she cried.

“Your changeling is fine, we’re just trying to determine a few things with her!” Luna shouted, glaring at the mare. “We’re not monsters here, this isn’t an execution! We’re just trying to figure out why these particular changelings weren’t thrown by the blast!”

“Ohhhh,” the mare said, looking away bashfully. “I-is that all?”

“Yes, of course, if you wish you may stick around and we will have visitation time!” Luna huffed.

“W-well that’s alright then,” the mare said, then looked around Luna at her ‘Hissy.’ “I’ll wait for you, Hissy! I’ll wait for you!”

The changeling mare sniffled and nodded, returning to her spot in the crowd as Luna gently shut the door. She had just started trotting back to the dais when she was interrupted by another knock. Letting out an impatient snort, she turned back, opening it for a crystal stallion.

“Pardon me, yer highness,” he said, tilting a cowboy hat. “Y’all wouldn’t happen t’have a sweet li’l thang by th’name of Antennae in thar, wouldja?”

“Periwinkle!?” A voice lit up from the crowd.

At that, all pretenses of masculinity washed from the stallion. “Anty!” He gasped, tears pouring from his eyes as he tried to reach around Luna. “Anty!”

“Peri!”

“Ant--”

“Oh for...the crystal mare there will explain!” Luna shouted, tossing the stallion at the aforementioned mare’s hooves. “But everything is going to be fine so calm down!”

With that she slammed the door, intent on having opened it for the last time. She turned back to the room with a huff, started trotting back to the dais, only to be interrupted once more.

With a frustrated snarl, she turned back, only to nearly be trampled by a veritable tide of ponies, all intent on the crowd of changelings as they poured through like water surging through a busted dam.

“Choctal?”

“Nectis!”

“Mandible!”

“Vaguely-bug-sounding-phrase!”

The horde flowed around Luna, a variety of colors bearing down on the changelings, whose bound hooves strained to reach out for them. Then, a sparkling midnight-blue radiance enveloped the group, lifted them up, and shoved them right back out the door.

“The mare and the stallion in the ridiculous hat will explain!” Luna shrieked as she piled them up just outside the door. Huffing, she twirled a little key in the lock just to drive it home that she was officially done with the door, before turning back to the room. “The next pony who opens this door is on their own, got it!?” She shouted.

Everyone in the room, eyes wide with shock, all nodded their understanding. Then, Rarity turned to Twilight, her brow hunched in thought.

“Dearie...could love have something to do with it?” She asked.

Twilight inhaled, her cheeks puffing out, then she turned back to her board, erasing everything and starting to scribble away. “Love is their food, what the burst of power from Cadence and Shining Armor was made from, it’s everything,” she muttered, sketching out a surprisingly-detailed, black, hole-filled heart. She then sketched a regular, red one, then a chain link uniting the two. “If a changeling feels love, it...”

She looked up, realizing for the first time that all eyes were on her. Smiling, Twilight announced her conclusion: “A changeling’s feelings of love for a pony could anchor them here, even amidst the strength of the lovesplosion!”

“Wait,” Cadence said, shaking her head. “You’re telling me that every changeling here has fallen in love with a pony?”

“It would explain everything we just saw,” Twilight shrugged. “Those ponies fell in love with changelings, and vice-versa.”

“Oh c’mon!” Shining Armor interject. “You’re telling me those little parasites fell for one of us!?”

At that, a vibrant, pink blur materialized in front of him, glaring him down. “You watch what you say, buster brown,” Pinkie hissed, glaring him right in the face.

Shining cringed back, leaving Cadence to pick up the slack. “He just means we should be more cautious about this than just accepting this isn’t a ruse somehow! These are changelings we’re dealing with!”

“Oh!” Fluttershy appeared in her face. “So now we don’t know any better!? Now you know oh so much more than anypony else about what we’ve seen and done these past few weeks!?”

Cadence joined her husband in her cringe. “I-I didn’t say that.”

“But you were thinking it,” she said, huffing with the beginnings of her Stare sparking in her eyes. Only Cadence’s Alicorn countenance kept her from buckling under the sheer force of it. Then, with a huff, she turned away, trotting towards the group of changelings with a steely glare in her eyes.

“You,” she hissed, pointing at a random changeling along the edge of the crowd. “Who do you love?”

The changeling raised a chained hoof to her chest, making sure she was the one getting pointed out, then her ears folded down. “Umm...I dunno if it’s love per se, but there’s this cute little stallion who goes for a walk around my square and who started out bringing me packed lunches awhile back...”

She drifted off as Fluttershy nodded, already walking to the next stallion in line. “You?”

“Ummm...there’s this sweet Crystal Mare...”

She moved on. “You?”

By now, the changelings were getting a bit more enthusiastic. “Heartmend! Her name is Heartmend!”

“You?”

“Oh,” the next couple stallions gripped one another, sharing knowing smiles. “We have each other, but there is this little colt who um...is real good with their tongue...”

“Burnyyyy...” the other stallion chided, swatting at their partner’s chest.

“Sorry Crash,” the stallion chuckled, then shot a glare over his shoulder at a certain changeling avoiding eye contact behind him. “I just like ponies knowing how very, very much we love eachother.”

“...and that other stallion,” Fluttershy added, finally calming as she strode to the next changeling. “And you?”

The smaller mare sighed, looked away, her lip quivering. “Petals...”

Fluttershy blinked, then her hooves raced to her mouth. “Oh gosh, Sprinkleshine!” She surged forward to embrace the mare in a hug, pressing her to her fuzzy, yellow chest. “S-sorry...”

“I-it’s not your fault...” the changeling whimpered, tears wetting Fluttershy’s coat.

Even as they sat there, Fluttershy turned her glare back on Shining and Cadence. “See? Every single changeling, down to a single one, is here because they love somepony.”

Cadence, looking on with wide eyes, raised a hoof to her chin. “That...is pretty compelling.”

“Cady!” Shiny gasped, head whipping around to his wife.

“Well, what other explanation is there, Shiny?” She said, wings flaring. “I find it hard to believe too, but all the evidence is there. I know love can bloom from the most unlikely of places, and maybe, just maybe, these past few weeks, with so many ponies and changelings pressed together like they’ve been, it took root in the hearts of these changelings?”

Shining opened his mouth, then closed it, then looked back over the crowd, frowning. Cadence gazed back at him, her eyes wide and shimmering. He knew that look all too well. “Your mind’s already made up, isn’t it?”

Lips quivering like a puppy, she nodded.

“It doesn’t even matter what I say, does it?”

Still gazing up at him with those massive, pink, pony princess eyes, she shook her head.

He let out a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. I won’t like it straight away, but...I know how damned awful it can be to be kept from the one you love.”

With that, his horn glowed, and the throne room doors opened.

“I’ll be the last to get in the way of somepony’s love,” he said as the crowd of ponies trotted in, first unsure, then breaking into all-out gallops as they realized nothing was stopping them. His lips curled into a tiny smile that Cadence shared as she nuzzled him. “After all, that’s how I married the Princess of Love.”

“That and so many other things,” she whispered as she planted a kiss on his neck, an action being repeated multiple times throughout the room as the first few ponies made it to their goal.

“Love...” Fluttershy breathed. She turned, gazed into the crowd. Switch wasn’t hard to find: he still towered over the rest of them, now looking at Crash and Burn with what appeared to be new eyes before slowly turning to her. She made her way through the crowd, careful to try and avoid stepping on anypony’s hooves. It took nearly a dozen “excuse me’s” and at least twice as many “Oh, I’m so sorry’s” and even an “Ohmygosh was that your tail!? I’m so sorry!” But through it all, Switch simply sat there, a warm smile on his face, right up until she was sitting in front of him.

“Love,” she said. “That’s why you’re here.”

He blushed a deep fuscia, a hoof trying to rise to rub the back of his head, only to fail with a rattle of chains. “Dang...um….yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.”

She stepped closer, within reach now.

He raised a chained hoof, ran it along her cheek. “Fluttershy...you’re the most beautiful, kindest, most wonderful mare I’ve ever met.” He finally admitted. “And I would consider myself the luckiest stallion alive just to spend a few more evenings with you.”

“Oh, Switch...” she breathed, her own blush rising to match, and quickly beat, his own. Her whole body flushed red. “I-I...”

“Fluttershy...” he breathed, leaning in.

“Switch...” her lips puckered to meet him.

His hooves brushed back a curl of mane as he leaned in. “Flutter...shy...”

And then a loud scream, followed by a whump, interrupted them. They bolted back in surprise, only to heave out a sigh of relief as a pink blur slammed into Bait at just under Mach Two. Spinning with him, Pinkie held the smaller changeling up as she twirled, dancing with him on her hind hooves. “It’s real it’s real it’s real it’s real!” She screamed, squeezing until he squeaked.

“Aheh...” Bait looked to his friend with a shrug. “Yeah, I guess it...”

In a flash, she had him on the ground, locking lips with him, kissing furiously. His eyes widened, then slammed shut as he gave in, throwing himself into the kiss entirely. His chained hooves wrapped around her shoulders, and they rolled on the floor together.

“That’s um...Pinkie...” Fluttershy said, still blushing.

“Yeah,” Switch said, eyes wide. “And that’s not Bait. Not how I know him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” his wide-eyed gape slowly morphed into an easy smile. “But y’know what? I think this is actually better.”

Meanwhile, on the dais, Luna had retaken her place beside Chrysalis, who had her muzzle buried in her hooves. “So...” Luna said.

“Not. A. Word.”

“Oh c’mon, Chryssie!” Luna gasped, smiling to the changeling. “This isn’t seriously that big a deal, is it?”

A single tear landed on the dais. Luna’s smile faded.

“Oh Maker above, it is, isn’t it?”

“Don’t look at me.” Chrysalis said. “Please.”

Luna whipped her head away, looking to some far corner as Chrysalis sniffled. For a bit, nothing filled their ears but Chrysalis’s occasional, jagged whimper, and the contrasting jubilation from the crowd below them. Finally, Luna turned to her. “I...want this too.”

Chrysalis paused at that. She didn’t lift her head out of her hooves, but her tears seemed to have stopped along with her sobs.

“I know this is a big deal for you, Chryssie, but I want to be a part of it. You’ve been through a lot, through so, so much, and...if you’ll let me, Chrysalis, I want to...help you put the pieces back together.” She said.

Chrysalis finally straightened up. The only evidence of her tears coming from the emerald streaks that stuck to her cheeks.

“So, I must ask,” Luna said, trotting around to face her, a warm smile filling her visage. “From the real monster here to you, what dost thou say?”

Chrysalis sniffled, if only to cover up the way her heart suddenly skipped a beat at Luna’s Ye Olde Ponish. “I...Luna, I think...”

And then, there was an explosion elsewhere. A deep thud slammed into the castle from the portcullis.

“Oh jeez, what now!?” Pinkie groaned.

“Did Chickit get a second wind or something!?” Bait shouted beside her.

“No, I know that sound all too well...” Luna gasped. “It’s Celestia! She’s on her way here!”

For a moment, everyone only stared. Then, the changelings flipped out, running, straining against the bonds that everypony had apparently been too distracted to remove, hooves waving in the air.

“I’m too young to die!”

“I’m too pretty to die!”

“Not like this, man. Not like this...”

“I peed so much!”

“Everyone!” Luna bellowed at full, Royal Canterlot Volume. That quieted the room immediately, every pony and changeling in the room turning to give her their full attention. With a hum of her magic, the doors shut again, locking against anyone approaching them. “We will speak with our sister and straighten this out, but yes, you will all have to go into captivity for some time.”

“Oh crap...” someling squeaked.

“But at this point, I can only ask that you place your trust in those around you.” She gazed out over them. “We have trusted you with our hearts, can you trust us with this now?”

For another second nopony moved, then, Switch stood up, walked over to Fluttershy, and placed a loop of his shackles in her hoof, taking a seat beside her. She responded by fanning a wing over his shoulders and blushing. Bait was right behind his partner, thrusting his chain into Pinkie’s hooves before curling up beside her and glaring out like an angry guard dog.

“Kinky,” Crash giggled as he and Burn hugged one another. The group kept moving along like that, chains draped into ponies hooves, to which Cadence’s wing’s fluttered.

“Such an amazing display of trust...” she cooed.

“All I see is a big headache to explain to your Aunt,” Shining grumbled.

A thud sounded against the doors, this time accompanied with the sounds of solar magic baring down upon it. Luna let out a breath, then realized there was still one changeling that had to commit.

“Chryssie?” She asked, turning to face the queen. “Chryssie, do you trust me?”

Chrysalis let out a breath, her eyes darting to the door, to the crowd, to the throne, everywhere but the princess. “I...I, uh...”

Another thud sounded, crystalline shards drifting down over their heads from the ceiling.

“Moment of truth, Chryssie,” Luna said, leaning forward, jaw tense.

“I...I...”

“Chryssiiieeee...”

Another thud, another mound of dust drifting down. “Almost got it that time, Tia!“ Discord’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.

“Please...”

“I...I...oh Maker above...”

“Oh just say it already! Haven’t we been blue-balled long enough!?”

Everyone perked up in surprise to hear somepony say that. Everyone perked up in more surprise when they realized it was Cadence. In fact, as the room turned to stare at her in slack-jawed amazement, she kept up her glare, gritting her teeth at Chrysalis.

Another crash against the door snapped them out of it. “Aww, I really didn’t want to do it over Cadence saying it...” Chrysalis grumbled.

“Chryssiiieee...”

“Fine! Yes!” She cried as the doors finally burst open.