[Authors note - Have you guys seen the latest Old Spice commerical? You know, the "I believe in my smeelf" one? Apparently, my moms friend helped record it. Cool story, right? Anyways, the idea of a meetup on a chat was rather well received, so I will be scheduling one soon.]

It had been one week since the nuclear detonation at the Elements of Harmony Compound killed the majority of both First and Second Platoon of the Lunar Special Forces First Battalion, as well as Captain Shining Armor and the Guards that were manning the tanks and LAV's that participated in the operation. Since then, full scale civil war broke out, between those who were against the Anti-Spice, believed in the power of Old Spice Colts (or Mares) Scented Body Wash, or were loyal to Princess Luna, and those who were still loyal to the Anti-Spice.

To honor the sacrifices of those who perished on that day, every pony who died in the blast was awarded the Bronze Star Medal, for if it wasn't for them, the Elements of Harmony would still be in the Anti-Spice's possession.

To honor the extraordinary leadership abilities of Shining Armor, as well as his loyalty to his troops, Shining Armor was posthumously the Silver Star Medal, and was also promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.

It was early in the morning, as Shining Armor's friends, family, and compatriots, as well as Hitler for some reason or another, gathered in the Lunar National Military Cemetary to put Shining Armor to rest. While no body could be recovered, he certainly earned a funeral.

After everyone had been seated, a pony dressed in Honor Guard Ceremonial Armor (Like the typical Ceremonial Armor, just all black) started to play taps on the bugle, as several other members of the Honor Guard carried a coffin with an Equestrian flag draped over it. As they began to lower the coffin into its grave, Twilight Sparkle (who had been pretty much unresponsive to anything for the past week) broke down into tears. This was evidently very contagious, as tears started rolling down the cheeks of even the most battle hardened soldiers. Even Hitler (yeah, that Hitler) shed a few tears, as the coffin was lowered into its final resting place.

As those who were handling the coffin marched away, seven more Honor Guards marched up in formation, armed with M14 rifles loaded with blanks, and stood in front of those gathered.

"Present arms!" One of the Honor Guards proclaimed. As they raised their M14's, there was a sonic boom in the distance, and the cold morning temperature seemed to become as hot as the hottest summer day.

"Shit! Incoming!" Swiper shouted, as a white alicorn with flowing golden hair crashed through the funeral procession.

"It's Celestia!" Princess Luna shouted. Liam Neeson jumped up from his seat and grabbed an M14 that one of the Honor Guards dropped, pulling out the magazine of the rifle and sliding a new magazine containing live rounds into it.

"Get the Elements! I'll cover you!" Liam shouted at the others, loading a round into his M14's chamber.

"Come on, let's go!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as she and the rest of Main Six galloped away.

"Come on! Bring it you bitch!" Liam Neeson shouted at Celestia, shouldering his M14 and firing round after round at Celestia as he advanced towards her. Celestia turned towards him, blocking every round effortlessly with a powerful force field. As the rifle clicked empty, Liam tossed his M14 aside and pulled out his Colt 45.

"Die you fucking cunt! Just die!" Liam shouted, firing his into entire magazine at Celestia as he charged towards her. Celestia blocked every round with her force field, and picked Liam Neeson up with her telekinesis.

"Any last words?" Celestia asked, smirking at him.

"Yeah... fuck you... fuck you, you fucking curly cunt dick snot!" Liam Neeson shouted at her, spitting in her face and flipping her the middle finger.

"You'll pay for that!" Celestia practically spat, using her telekinesis to break his spinal cord. She smiled evilly and used his limp body wipe his spit off of her face.

Black Jesus suddenly feel to his knees and screamed out in pain, causing Princess Luna and the Main Six.

"Are you okay?!" Twilight Sparkle inquired.

"Keep going! Thou needs to get the Elements of Harmony immediately!" Princess Luna shouted at them, sending them running, before turning back to Black Jesus. "What is wrong, our beloved?"

Black Jesus regained his strength and looked up at Luna. "S-she killed Liam Neeson... and she's coming this way." Black Jesus said, before rising off the ground and kissing Luna passionately on the lips, "I need to face her. Alone. Tell the Element Bearers to hurry."

"But-" Luna began, before Black Jesus hushed her.

"No buts. I don't want to put you in any danger, my child. She's here for me." Black Jesus said, "Now get out of here."

Luna nodded, and hesitantly trotted away. Black Jesus stood up and walked through the cemetery.

It didn't take long for him to find Princess Celestia. You could see her from miles away. She looked exactly like how he looked when he went Super Saiyan.

"Anti-Spice!" Black Jesus called to Princess Celestia.

"Black Jesus!" Princess Celestia called back, gliding over to him and landing right in front of him.

"Let this be our final battle." Black Jesus stated, getting in a fighting stance while this song started to play in the background.

"Gladly." Celestia said, jumping back and aiming her horn at Black Jesus, firing a massive beam of energy at him. Black Jesus aimed his hands at the Princess, firing his own beam of energy back at her. The two beams collided and exploded mid air. Celestia then fired multiple small beams of energy, which Black Jesus blocked using his black magic. He turn fired a few more beams of energy at Celestia, who blocked each beam with a force field.

"Hmm... it would appear our magic skills are to evenly matched..." Celestia said

"I have a solution, devil." Black Jesus said, reaching into his robe and pulling out a strange metal rod. With a flick of his wrist, Black Jesus activated it, causing two energy blades to extend out of it. That's right bitches, Black Jesus has a Covenant energy sword.

"I like the way you think. It's a shame, really." Celestia said, pulling out an old Alicorn energy blade out of ass (literally) with her telekinesis and activated it.

"What is?" Black Jesus asked as he got in a combat stance.

"That someone as bright as you was born on the wrong side." Celestia said, charging at Black Jesus and swinging her energy blade at her. Black Jesus deftly blocked the swing with his energy sword, then kicked her right in the chin, sending her reeling. Celestia recovered and fired a giant beam of energy at him. Not expecting this, Black Jesus barely had any time to react. He only managed to block the brunt of the attack, but it still sent him flying and made him drop his energy sword. He leaned up and reached for his energy sword, but it was snatched away from him by Celestia.

"Hmm... did you know, Black Jesus, that the alicorn energy blades from back in the day are really reverse engineered energy swords?" Celestia asked, deactivating the energy sword and shoving its hilt up her ass. She moved in, holding her energy blade over her head, preparing to finish him off.

"Stop right there!" Someone shouted, causing Celestia to turn around. Behind her was the Element Bearers, as well as her sister, Princess Luna.

"Thou has kept our sister hostage long enough, you insolent beast!" Princess Luna practically spat, "And to top that off, we find you here about to kill our beloved. THAT IS NOT ALLOWED IN OUR KINGDOM! TWILIGHT SPARKLE, FINISH THAT BEAST OFF!"

"You don't have to tell me twice." Twilight stated, as she and her friends started to float in the air. "This is for my brother!" And with that, Twilight opened her purple glowing eyes, as a rainbow formed and shot across the sky, straight at Princess Celestia.

"What the hell?! No no no no NOOOOO!" Princess Celestia shouted in desperation as the rainbow hit her.

"Sister...?" Princess Celestia asked weakly, as she started to sit up. She opened her eyes, expecting to see her sister. But instead, she found herself surrounded by Equestrian soldiers, all of which were aiming their assault rifles right at her head.

"W-what's going on here?! Where's my sister?!" Princess Celestia demanded, fearing for her life.

"Relax, sister." A regal voice said from behind her. Celestia turned around to see her younger sister standing there, with Black Jesus beside her. "It's only a safety precaution. In case any trace of the Anti-Spice is left inside of thou."

"She's clean." Black Jesus stated, "stand down, my children."

"Well... you certainly look different now." Someone said. Celestia turned to see Twilight Sparkle standing beside her. "Do... do you remember me?"

Celestia smiled. "Of course. I was there the whole time, even if we couldn't do anything, my faithful student."

Twilight smiled and leaped into Celestia's forearms, wrapping her hooves around her and hugging her tightly. Celestia hugged her back, before realizing something Twilight had said.

"I look different?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah. Here, take a look." Twilight said, grabbing a mirror with her telekinesis and floating it in front of Celestia. Truly, she didn't make much different. However, her mane was a bright pink instead of the rainbow cloud thing it was before. She also seemed... a little smaller. Just a tiny bigger than her sister, to be exact.

"Thou looks just like thou looked like as a foal." Princess Luna pointed out teasingly.

"Have you been skipping your modern Equestrian classes? You sound like someone who is trying to force Elizabethan Equestrian out and fucking up something fierce." Princess Celestia teased back.

Princess Luna chuckled and blushes ever so slightly. "I choose to speak like that, you know? I'm like Trixie. I speak like that because I am a massive troll." She said.

"Well... it looks like we have a lot of work to do..." Princess Luna muttered, as she, Black Jesus, and Princess Celestia walked into their study, which was covered in mountains of paperwork.

"Nah. I'm just going to save us some time." Black Jesus stated, snapping his fingers, which caused a bright flash, causing everyone in the room to close their eyes. When they opened their eyes, all the work in the study was finished.

"How did you do that?" Princess Luna asked.

Black Jesus turned towards her and smiled smugly at her. "I used my black magic, honey."

"Alright, before you guys start making out or something, why don't we go out and do something?" Celestia suggested, giggling a little.

Princess Luna giggled as well. "I agree. Come on, let's go give Princess Lulu and 60's era Spiderman a visit."

As the three walked out of the room, Black Jesus looked back into the study. "It's going to be fun leading this nation." He said, turning off the light and closing the door behind him as he ran to catch up with the two sisters.