The room was almost pitch black, with ominous shapes everywhere, due to the raging storm outside the building.

With the flick of a switch, lights began flashing on, revealing the ‘room’ to be a massive warehouse filled with weapons of various kinds and scientific equipment meant to measure every detail about said weapons and their wielders.

“Gentlecolts,” Spoke Princess Luna, waving a hoof at the massive warehouse, “welcome...to the Fight Club.”

“....woah.” came the only word Knightmare could think of.

“Holy shit,” muttered Valiant.

“OK, gentlecolts, you’re here because, let’s face it, the Death Battle Judges dropped the ball BADLY in the first round, research-wise, but we’re getting the solid facts this time, not from reading the stories, but from seeing it all first-hand.” Luna smiled, “I want you each to pick four weapons and a mode of transportation, we’re going for an aerial battle. And I want you two to make it EPIC. I know how badass you two goons can be, so if it’s not good enough, heads will roll.”

Knightmare saluted calmly, “Yes Ma’am!”

Valiant grinned, beginning to realize what lay ahead. “I think you’ve got the right guys for the job.”

Knightmare’s Weapon Choices:

Nyx: Short-handled battleaxe, electrical elemental effects, doubles as Bardic Magical Instrument.

Clockwork Assault Rifle: Rapid Fire non-explosive firearm that can fire 3 shots for each bullet consumed, except Hellfire shot, due to its explosive nature.

Twinkle: Magical staff that allows for voice amplification, and auto-casting pinnacle-level ‘Magic Missile’ spell, among other supernatural effects. More information found here: DDO Wiki page for 'Twilight, the Element of Magic' [Yes, Twinkle was modeled after a videogame weapon, so sue me.]

Modified Combat Form: Lahire[Speed-type], a machine-like form built around extreme velocity, equipped with pistol-type plasma shotguns and dual laserblades.

Transportation of choice: Nyx, AKA Princess Nyx Nocte Everfree vi Equestria, AAKA Nightmare Moon.

Valiant’s Weapon Choices:

Panzerfaust: antique German anti-tank weapon recreated for lulz. Used to kill Chrysalis in the Dreams series. “Panzerfaust, Lauren Faust, whatever.” “Who’s Lauren Faust?” “Ex girlfriend. All she wanted to do was draw cartoons instead of have sexytimes, so I dumped her.”

Switchblade: A perfect last-resort weapon. Valiant has been known to carry it in his mouth for extra surprise.

Combat Robot: Built prior to the Changling invasion at Luna’s request. Cockpit large enough for two ponies or three fillies.

Valiant’s own tequila: Flammable, drinkable, useful for sterilization.

Transportation of choice:Monstrosity twin-rotor VTOL aircraft. Cargo hold is large enough to carry at least 23 bushels of apples, and can mount weapons. Maneuverable enough to share a tornado with pegasi, tough enough to crash into several buildings without a scratch.

“Alright lads, your weapons are chosen, let’s meet your teams.”

“Wait, teams?” Knightmare asked, “I thought we fought alone in the tournament?”

“Teams are only for people who need help,” said Valiant.

“Well, technically it’s your computerized duplicates that are fighting alone, but I want data from multiple sources in this research, to ensure EVERYTHING is accurate. Feel free to banter and sling insults, so long as no one gets killed for real.”

“...ok.”

From Knightmare’s side of the room, two anthropomorphic mares and a werepony enter.

Queen Chrysalis, High-queen of Destruction and Knightmare’s magic trainer. Said to be one of the most powerful Spellcasters in the Chessverse[a claim backed up on many occasions].

“Well well well, what do we have here!”

Princess Nyx, ‘The Lost Princess’, Defender in the Dark, and Evil's Worst Nightmare, all well-earned titles from Knightmare’s physical combat trainer and one of the physically strongest mares in the Chessverse, Chrysalis’ old lover and melee counterpart.

“Oh this should be FUN!”

Lunar Guardian Octavia Philharmonica-Scratch, Knightmare’s firearms trainer and one of the elite special forces of Equestrian military.

“...This can only end very very badly...”

In Valiant’s corner, three figures appear.

Sir Winifred Condemnation Inferno Sir Win, for short. A flaming (and on fire) demon pony. Taker of souls, host of parties, acquainted with an Eldritch Abomination or two, and former receptionist of Tartarus.

“Oooh! What an extravagant event!”

Vampire Cheerilee Works undercover for Princess Luna taking care of things that go bump in the night. Displeased with Valiant in general, but willing to put differences aside to defeat a collective enemy. Not afraid to mutilate her own body for the cause.

“I really hope you’ve done the research to know what you’re getting into.”

Radioactive Trixie Valiant’s adopted daughter, after an age spell gone awry. More studious than old Trixie and charged with the power of the atom, her magic is much better than it used to be. She is also skilled with all Valiant’s weapons, as he won’t let any daughter of his not be badass. Comes equipped with her M60 and skateboard. Has a pet t-rex skeleton.

“Come on, dad. Let’s show these bitches a thing or two.”

“Oh my goodness you’re so ADORABLE!” Chrysalis shouted, glomping Radioactive Trixie on sheer impulse, the titanic changeling beauty leaping clear across the warehouse almost effortlessly.

“Chrissy, no!” Knightmare shouted.

“No, what?”

“You are NOT eating her. Put her down, now.”

“Killjoy.” The changeling queen sets the teenaged unicorn down on the ground and begins pouting childishly.

Armament comparisons

Short Range

Theme: Nyx VS Switchblade: Lord of the Blacksmiths by Falconer

Contains 7 threads of lightning matching each color of the rainbow.
Can attach itself to anything through said threads
Approx. Weight: 5 1/2 pounds
Approx. Length: 3.1/4 feet
Broad, upward-sweeping cutting edges serve as dual piercing implements.
Short handle reduces effective leverage in stationary swings

VERSUS

Switchblade
Compact retractable blade.
Approx. Weight: 1/3 pound
Approx. Length: four inches retracted, eight inches open.
An easily-concealable backup weapon that Valiant typically hides in his mouth out of paranoia. Used to kill vampire Prince Blueblood and King Sombra. Best for stabbing, but can do slashes.
___________
Mid-Range:

Theme: C.A.R VS Tequila, 'And So the War Begins' by Brex

Clockwork Assault Rifle
short-barrelled, stockless assault rifle
Special rune splits non-explosive bullets into 3, firing them in sequence
10 round magazine will be used during the tournament
Special munitions include: Jester[auto-piercing less-lethal bullets], Crystal[shattering shrapnel bullets], Hellfire[explode on impact], Meteor[continuous ricochet], Holy[calls down small stars after impact], Jungle[lashes the target with thin, strong vines]

VERSUS

Tequila
Comes in bottle form. Questionable quality as it’s home-brewed from agave plants Valiant has an affinity for growing. A fine thrown molotov cocktail, and has special effects of close-quarters weapon, shattering glass effects, blinding eyes, sterilizing injuries, and creating intoxication.
___________
Long Range

Theme: Twinkle VS Panzerfaust, 'White Death' by Sabaton

Twinkle
7 foot long Baobab wood quarterstaff with adamantium balancing spike
Suitable for mountain climbing, dealing with severe back pain, and bludgeoning enemies
Designed with 7 gemstones matching the seven ‘Elements of harmony’: Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Magic, and Hope. Can cast Level 5 Magic Missile at will for no cost at a cooldown of 10 seconds
Each of the 5 missiles hits with approx. 12 PSI of force, equivalent to a hard punch
Weapon is highly flexible due to construction, and borderline impossible to break
Allows Knightmare to ‘Overclock’, allowing him to utilize genuine spellcasting, rather than relying on ‘Magic Missile’ constantly.

VERSUS

Panzerfaust
A recreation of the WWII German anti-tank weapon. A one meter long metal tube with a rocket. One shot, then reload. Can be sent via dragonfire (although Spike won’t like it). Shaped charge warhead for insta-kill.
____________
Special: Warmechs

LAHIRE VS E.S.O, Title/Artist Unknown

LAHIRE: Speed Form
Approx. 8 ft. 4 inches high
Approx. weight: 562.5 lbs.
Record Speeds: 285 MPH[standard motion], 372 MPH[OVerboost], 1118 MPH[Quickboost]
Capable of Overboosting[intense speed boost over a long distance, essentially a ‘sprint’], and Quickboost[an EXTREME speed boost over a split second, essentially a ‘dodge’]
Can recover energy needed to fuel movement and energy-based weapons by resting, is left prone in said state.

Armaments: [[Note: a ‘Pod’ weapon is an emergency weapon released once the primary is drained of munitions] LAHIRE: Speed Mode is primarily built around energy weaponry and energy efficiency, to allow for lightest weight and highest speed possible. Can take some big hits but is designed to dodge them and dish them out fast.

Left Arm Primary: Sampaguita[Energy-based shotgun fires 10 pellets of superheated mana{Mage-plasma}]

Left Arm Pod: LS-MOONLIGHT[high-power laser blade{Equivalent to the ‘Lune Pertinax’]

Left Shoulder: ASB-0710 [Add-Boosters that increase Quickboost efficiency and reduce quickboost cooldown times]

Left Back: EC-O307AB [3-barreled laser cannon]

Right Arm Primary: HLR01-CANOPUS[Hi-Laser that scatters smaller, weaker lasers on impact, essentially a ‘Laser Bazooka’]

Right Arm Pod: LS-SUNLIGHT [High-power laser blade{Equivalent to the ‘Sol Invicta’]

Right Shoulder: ASB-0710 [Add-Boosters that increase Quickboost efficiency and reduce quickboost cooldown times]

Right Back: EC-O307AB [3-barreled laser cannon]

VERSUS

Equestrian Spec-Ops Combat robot
Has four limbs, resembling humanoid. Cockpit is large enough for two ponies or three foals. Has rocket power, with enough fuel to fly at least from Ponyville to Canterlot. Painted with awesome stars and stripes motif. Roughly as fast traveling speed as LAHIRE in a straight line.
Armaments:
General attacks are close quarters and physical-based, which the robot is well equipped to handle. Later retrofitted with drilling equipment, flamethrowers, and light machine guns. One variant was used to defeat Cthulhu's girlfriend during a battle in Hell.

________________

Final Test: Vehicles

Nightmare Moon VS Monstrosity, 'Rock you like a Hurricane' by The Scorpions & Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra

Nightmare Moon
Alicorn Mare[Special Trait: Nightmare]
Approx. 40,000 years old
Was capable of splitting mountains with raw strength during her prime.
Currently roughly equal to Luna in physical strength
Highly durable, believed completely indestructible[a nuclear warhead barely scratched her]
Capable of advanced telekinesis, Thunder/lightning magic, and short-range teleportation.
Mana highly limited, her strength is her strength.
Record top speed with Rider is 250 MPH, slower than LAHIRE going full bore, but was fast enough to generate a ‘Sonic DarkBoom’ as it was called.
Can link with rider for perpetual Overclocking, at a cost of instantaneous sickness[vomiting, nausea, spontaneous blackouts, etc, etc] should they be separated.

VERSUS

The Monstrosity
VTOL aircraft similar in appearance to the MV-22 Osprey, but smaller and agile enough to fly with pegasi in a tornado. Very tough, as it has survived a forest fire, a flood, and several crashes into buildings with nary a scratch. No permanent weapons, but has the capability to mount them in the cargo bay (which is big enough to fit at least 23 bushels or 17 passengers). Has heavy-lift capability, able to sling loads consisting of several combat robots.
Specifications (MV-22 specs from wikipedia)
Maximum speed: 351 mph
Range: 1,011 mi
Service Ceiling: 25,000 ft
20,000 lb internal cargo

For the Luls: Fighter Themes

Knightmare:'Far Cry' by Rush

Valiant: Valiant, by Brex

________

X-Factors

Valiant

Valiant typically rushes in without a plan. This gives him some surprise and makes him unpredictable, but he could overlook things. He is very good at improvising given the right materials, and is very creative, having once built a Saturn V moon rocket out of parts found in Ponyville. This can lead to unlikely things that sometimes don’t make sense, for example falling from the sky and punching King Sombra in half.As noted by RLYoshi, he is typically calm under fire and is only agitated by some sort of serious affront, usually against his idea of the American Way. This should not be a problem, as Knightmare is also American. Valiant has some strange moral issues, refusing to break promises but will readily lie and cheat when it suits him. While not a serial killer, he is very comfortable with violence and has planned several murders, including vampires. He is very protective of Trixie now that she is sort of his adopted daughter.As an earth pony, defeating magic is one of Valiant’s priorities. He has battled magical opponents in the past and devised a few ways to gain an advantage, such as grounded Faraday shields.Even while confronted with so many unholy things in Equestria, regularly disregarding the Ten Commandments, and taking the Lord’s name in vain, Valiant believes in God and once invaded Tartarus with the intention of defeating the armies of Hell.Valiant has many improbable skills, such as speaking fluent French and others that have not been mentioned, picked up from his wide variety of ex-girlfriends.

Knightmare

Knightmare is hyper-obsessed with planning, even when he typically has no possible need or reason to have them on-hand, often chalking up the seemingly insane plots, plans, and schemes to his experience with the SCP foundation and working on the Black Vault for Princess Celestia.He’s known to alter plans on the fly to suit a situation, and views combat as being a high-stakes game of chess, constantly striving to keep at least three steps ahead of any foes, even ones he knows, or should know, nothing about. Knightmare is highly genre-savvy and likes to ‘cheat’ by using and abusing narrative causality to his favor, though this also means he’s willing to take hits if causality demands the result be either leading in his favor, or sufficiently comical or epic.Knightmare is a self-admitted adrenaline junkie, even in his old age, and is willing to tapdance atop cannons or dance among flamethrowers on-stage without fear of being injured.Knightmare’s main talent is his music, more so than anything, even opening ‘the Musical World’, which activates when facing a musically-inclined foe and pits them in a battle of wills, with the loser suffering severe injuries and exhaustion. This appears outwardly as a sphere of two colors trying to overtake one another, but inside many have seen impossible worlds ranging from vast fleets of ships on an ocean of lava to vast and beautiful starfields. The two fighters commanding mythical warriors and vast armies in an attempt to keep control over the song, as it’s the one who gets the ‘last word’ that ‘wins’ the fight.In stark contrast to Valiant, Knightmare is very calm outside of combat, but NEVER STOPS MOVING when in a fight. He is hyperactive and perpetually mobile, trusting in his footwork and mobility to make up for his pitiful armor.Knightmare’s fancy-looking attire DOES count as armor, as it has been remade a multitude of times to handle dangers on the stage and battlefield, but it’s still mainly to keep him from hurting himself and would provide little defense against Valiant’s arsenal, save for possibly the switchblade.

_____

Tactics

Valiant:
Valiant has few coordinated plans for battle, but has experienced plenty of different kinds of fighting. He is knowledgeable about basic combat, having watched enough war movies and spent a suspicious amount of time with military weapons. He is not above putting on a show for greater impact to his actions. He is usually of the Patton mindset- the best defense is a good offense.

Valiant works very well with Trixie and they have complementary skills and abilities. Valiant used to be a vampire, and understands Cheerilee’s capabilities and limitations. She does not like him, but is generally willing to quash her emotions for the greater good. Sir Win is on good terms with Valiant, although they have never fought together before.

Trixie has been cross-trained with all Valiant’s equipment, like a good daughter should. Cheerilee is at least familiar with most of it, having participated in a robot raid and used plenty of weapons herself.

Knightmare:
Knightmare’s tactics are two-fold: Misdirection and Scare Tactics. He’ll often intentionally miss to distract a foe whilst maneuvering in a different direction, preferring to avoid being out in the open unless intentionally trying to shock or frighten an enemy. If he cannot distract and/or scare an enemy, he will resort to more forceful measures usually involving high-speed dodging and up close and personal melee attacks mixed with spellcasting.

Knightmare is a self-admitted and quite willing ‘dirty’ fighter, who isn’t afraid to resort to underhanded moves and liberal use of explosives in combat. His combat motto is ‘If you can’t distract it, scare it. If you can’t scare it, give it a REASON to be scared.’

Knightmare rarely truly ‘loses his temper’ in combat, though he will fake it with standard acting, such as getting up close and personal, menacing glares, yelling and screaming, but when he’s GENUINELY angry, which is rarely seen and the only confirmed ‘trigger’ is insulting one of his lovers[Chrysalis, Nyx, and Celestia] or threatening someone close to him, he goes in a completely different direction, becoming extremely calm and quiet, abandoning all pretense of ‘flashy and epic’ combat and instead aiming to mutilate if not outright KILL his enemies in the most brutal, efficient, and brutally efficient manner. When in this emotional state, he takes on his old human form, looking like a tall, elderly man with a long beard and well-toned muscles. [yes, he looks like Master Roshi.]

When riding Nyx, Knightmare is under a perpetual state of Overclocking, the same state of hypermagical control that can be artificially activated by his staff, Twinkle. In this state he commonly casts a wide array of spells, usually with little aim beyond a general direction, preferring to rely upon splash damage to take out his target or, at the least, remove their cover and make it harder to stay safe.

A full list of Knightmare's 'Mantras' is in this link. [Note: both Special and Game mantras, but not general mantras]]

Knightmare has cross-trained in both choreography and combat with all members of his band, including learning melee combat from Nyx[AKA Princess Nyx Nocte Everfree, AKA Nightmare Moon], learned magical training from Queen Chrysalis Glasswing, learned defensive magic from Shining armor, and, amusingly enough, sharpshooting from Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Sparkle, AKA ‘Princess Cadance’.

________

Weapons Demonstrations [[The part I’ve been waiting for! YAY!]]

Knightmare squeed with glee. “Finally, the FUN part!” He patted Nyx on the head, getting a nod from the demonic alicorn. In a burst of smoke, Nyx reshaped herself into a short, broad-bladed double-bit battleaxe with strings of lightning running along the neck. “Let’s get ready to rumble!”

_____

VALIANT

Panzerfaust

“I’ve got a great demonstration of the Panzerfaust,” said Valiant. He popped in a video tape. The screen lit up, displaying the scene of the changeling-crashed Canterlot wedding.
Valiant narrated. “Spike looked ill, and then he vomited the rocket launcher out at my feet.
‘Cool, thanks.’ I picked it up. I had suitably modified the design for hooves and had no problem getting it into firing position.
The Changeling Queen realized I had some kind of weapon, but was too slow. I fired. The warhead hit her square in the chest and knocked her backwards out the window before it exploded.
We all stood there for a minute in stunned silence. The remaining Changelings decided that they should probably leave.”

Chrysalis twitched at the video. “A PanzerFaust?” She asked. “...Is that supposed to be a pun or something?”

“No.” Knightmare replied, “It’s German for ‘Tank Fist’.” He shrugged, not wanting to comment on the use of the name of Celly and Luna’s mom...

“Actually, I did make it a pun,” said Valiant. “See, I used to date this girl named Lauren Faust. We broke up, though. Cartoons were more important to her than getting freaky.”

“.....I’m HOPING you mean the human version of my mother and not my ACTUAL eighty THOUSAND year old MOTHER...” Nyx said, twitching in irritation.

“....I’m kinda hoping the same....” Knightmare said, backing away from the two annoyed goddesses.

“She wouldn’t have been my scariest ex,” said Valiant, shrugging.

Switchblade

“Anyway, back to other weapons,” said Valiant. “The switchblade’s pretty useful. I once fell out of the sky and punched King Sombra with it so hard that he split apart lengthwise. There was also the time I used it to cut the throat of vampire Prince Blueblood.”

“Is it made with tempered steel, or meteoric iron?” Knightmare asked.

“Hell if I know,” Valiant shrugged.

“Just curious. tempered steel is more durable and better at holding an edge, but meteoric iron has innate magical properties that make it handy for enchanted weaponry and Magitek, and it’s also capable of attracting lightning, which, considering me and Nyx tend to SPAM lightning-based magic, may be handy for you...”

Valiant stared at him. “Do I look like a magic user or a freaking geologist? I just beat this old metal rock I found in a crater until it was sharp and pointy.”

“Then it’s highly likely it was meteoric iron.” Knightmare says. “Congrats, if the Vinyl Scratch of your world is half as skilled as ours, she could probably work some enchantments into it later on.”

Tequila

“All I know about Vinyl is that she’s generally invited to parties. Speaking of,” Valiant took a big swig of tequila and grinned. “This stuff is useful for a lot of things. You can make molotov cocktails, blind some mofos, sterilize the wounds of the injured, or just chill. I have an undesignated special talent for growing blue agave, so I can produce as much as I want.”

“...That’s pretty handy, actually. Ever considered refining it into fuel?” Chrysalis said.

“I have oil wells and petroleum for that,” Valiant waved a hoof. “It has a higher energy coefficient and better lubrication properties anyway.”

“True, but with the right refining techniques you can turn that tequila ALMOST as powerful as the refined gasoline, but with an easily obtained renewable resource.” chrysalis grinned. “Make a modification to the base engine design and you’ll get more bang for your buck. That’s what we use to power the Ragnarok’s emergency engines.”

Valiant squinted at her. “Are you some kind of hippy?”

“No, just someone who’s always thinking of long-run survival.”

“She’s also a gearhead, almost as much as Luna.”

“We’ll have to talk robots over drinks later,” said Valiant. “I hope you have a high tolerance. The last time I got a pony drunk it didn’t turn out so well. Here’s a tip: alcohol and gender-bent universes don’t mix.”

“I think you’re forgetting we’re from a different reality. We’ve had alcohol AND tobacco for thousands of years.” Nyx said, “If you don’t mind me bringing some cigars, then Chryssie can provide the alcohol.”

Valiant turned to Knightmare. “Well, that was pretty easy to separate you from your women.”

Knightmare twitched, “I think you fail to realize that while I’m married to both of them, they’ve been married to EACH OTHER for far longer... Those two don’t even have a leash.”

“Except the one we let Celestia borrow to use on YOU.” Chrysalis spoke with a giggle.

Monstrosity

“Anyway, I think I’ll go for a flight,” said Valiant. “Things around here are getting progressively more weird.” He started the engines on his aircraft, the twin propellers beginning to turn.”

“What sort of monstrosity is this?” asked Octavia, gawking at the gigantic flying brick.

“Funny, I think it was that exact question that gave it its name.” Valiant pointed to painted lettering on the side that spelled out Monstrosity. “I don’t mind, though. It’s pretty much indestructable. I’ve crashed into a couple of buildings, got caught in a forest fire, and ran over Derpy in the middle of a tornado, and there’s been exactly zero damage done. Here, let’s have a demonstration.”

Valiant powered up the throttles and the aircraft zoomed skyward. At peak altitude, he casually stepped out of the pilot’s seat and walked back to the cargo hold to board a combat robot of his own design. Monstrosity fell to the ground with whirling high speed rotors, actually digging its way partially underground before coming to rest.

The robot landed nearby on its rocket motors. Valiant used its drilling equipment to extricate his flying machine. “See? Good as new.”

“Hot dayum.” Knightmare said, “Looks as durable as the Ragnarok..maybe moreso.” He gave a slight kick to the vehicle’s steel hull.

ESO

Valiant dusted off the robot’s hand-like appendages, not wanting to mar the stars-and-stripes paint job if he didn’t have to.

“You have a robot, too?” Chrysalis asked.

“I’ve tinkered with the design over a while,” responded Valiant. “This one came from a government contract Princess Luna gave me in preparation for the changeling attack on Canterlot. Since then, I’ve improved a few things and kept the best stuff for myself. It was pretty useful for that one time a couple of us invaded Hell.”

“Huh, sounds like Griffin’s antics.” Octavia said, crossing her paws with a raised brow.

“Who?”

“Lord-Captain Griffin North.” Octavia said, “Current king of the New Dominion, ally of Equestria, Knightmare’s perpetual pranking rival, known by various titles such as ‘The Cursed Bird’, ‘The HateSeed’, ‘Changeling Bane’, ‘The HellFlyer’, and ‘The Wraith’. He is a human-turned-equestrian, much like you and Knightmare.”

“And.” Nyx began, “All of us agree, even now that he’s calmed down, he’s STILL an asshole.”

Valiant looked up and pulled the bottle of tequila from his lips. “I’m sorry, what? Were you saying something?”

_____

KNIGHTMARE

Nyx: Guitaxe

Knightmare patted Nyx on the head, sharing a nod with her. With one hard smack, the demonic alicorn vanished into a mist, reforming rapidly into a lightning-stringed guitar with long, sharp blades for a body.

“Ladies and gents, and I use said terms loosely, meet Nyx.” He gave the guitar-axe a quick twirl before playing a quick power chord, sending sparks of electricity flying. “Not the most ‘balanced’ weapon in the traditional sense, but perfect for high-speed hit and run tactics.”

Clockwork Assault Rifle

Knightmare reached behind his back, pulling out what looked like an AK-47, but made entirely of clockwork parts, including a cute-looking little clockwork key. “The Clockwork Assault Rifle, used during the Great War by Megan and the Wardens against Tirek the destroyer. They’re kinda rare, but I was able to cobble one together from multiple broken ones. They’re easy to break, but easier to repair, and have little issues with jamming. An old rune in them allows them to split any non-explosive bullets they fire into three shots, so every bullet serves as a three round burst. I have multiple different bullets I like to use, but I have an example shown by my counterpart in the Visionary universe that can show how they all work.” Knightmare pulls out the tape and pops it into the VCR.

******

CAR Demonstration: Unity Games

Having, apparently, managed to get away from the Diamond dog kleptomaniac with some time to spare, Knightmare, Pinks[Pinkie Clone], and Twinxie [the Twin-Trixie] all make their way to the castle courtyard.

"OK, Knight." Twinxie says, removing the bag of holding, "Let's get you suited up for the tournament. It's going to be started soon and I'd rather you be ready in time to witness the example duel so you can't screw up. Pinks and I will be watching from the stands, north side, front row, shortly to the left of the dignitaries. Are you ready?"

"Ash I ever be, Twinkshie." Knightmare cracked his neck lightly and stood up straight. As he did, Twinxie removed the apparent scrap metal, munitions belts, and the magic staff from the bag of holding before sealing it up and placing it back on her hip, since bags of holding were against the rules of the tournament.

A quick rust-cleaning spell revealed the scrap metal to be, admittedly shoddy barding, which was promptly placed on Knightmare's body. It provided almost no protection, but didn't hamper his movements at all. She then attached the belts to several hooks, allowing it to wrap around hsi barrel, leaving more than enough room for his four wings to buzz freely. The clockwork assault rifle hooked onto another port, attaching to a slightly loose end of the belt and resting gently on Knightmare's shoulder.

"Alpha test, Shoulder swap." Twinxie said. Knightmare responded by rapidly bobbing his head, causing the assault rifle to pop back and forth over his bowed head from the right shoulder to the left and back.

"Good, it's still working. I was afraid the rust would have damaged something. We REALLY need to get a professional to make you a new set...we SHOULD have had a professional make you a new set before the tournament BEGAN but we don't have time now." Twinxie lit up her horn and lifted the staff, sliding it into a saddle-side holster, allowing Kngihtmare to keep it close without having to focus on it, nor having it n the way.

"Beta test. Mage Link." Knightmare lit up his horn, a channel leading from the thin tin helmet to the Clockwork assault rifle, and to the magic stave known as 'Twinkle', both flowing smoothly and unobstructed. "Good. No damage to the power conduits. hopefully nothing will blow up on you. OK, Pinks, load up his ammo while I put on the final touch."

As the duplicate pink pony began loading up ammunition, Trixie removed the Chrysalis plush toy and placed another set of tin armor, this set kept immaculately clean and looking quite regal, and placed the toy into the armor. She then set it onto the saddle of Knightmare's barding and locked it in place. She finished just as the blindingly fast pink earth pony clone finished loading up a total of 10 rounds of Hellfire munitions in the secondary barrel, and four 25-round sections of the main belt with Meteor, Holy, Crystal, and Jester shot. Plus one of each ready to fire.

"Final test. Munitions. Phase 1: Hellfire." Knightmare lit up his horn and took aim at the target-shaped shield spell Twinxie conjured. The trigger of the under-hand barrel was pulled, launching a single Hellfire bullet. The shot, formed from volcanic Hellstone, flew in a slight arc, like a grenade, and exploded upon impact with the target.

""Good it's still working. Good thing we learned about the whole 'explode on contact' thing before trying to use the main barrel... OK Phase 2: Holy." This time the end of the belt, split in four sections, one for each type of bullet, clicked into place, loading the one extra Holy shot. The trigger was pulled and the main barrel fired, not once, not twice, but three times. A singe bullet consumed, but three launched. Each one impacted the magic target and vanished in a puff, albeit with noticeable impact force. A split second, two stars for each shot crashed down onto the target, vanishing in sparks. Less forceful than the initial bullet, but an unexpected effect none-the-less.

"Perfect. I still love how beautiful it is to see. Phase 3: Meteor Shot." Once again, the multi-ended belt clicked ito place and an extra Meteor sot was loaded. Upon firing, ocne again, three launched for one shot. But upon impacting the target, the bullets bounced back, impacting the castle wall, before ricocheting at an unlikely angle back towards the target before finally shattering into uselessness.

"Meteor shot, never leave home without it. Phase 4: Crystal Shot." The belt clicked into place again, this time loading a bullet of crystal. Upon firing, once again, three were launched, and upon impact, they shattered into thousands of bits and pieces, each shard of crystal scratching and scraping against the nearly-unbreakable shield-target, although some bits stubbornly embedded themselves onto it.

"I swear for something we got in the Crystal empire, Crystal shot is just plain SADISTIC....Phase 5: Jester Shot!" The fourth belt clocked into place, a bullet of solid light loaded in and fired. Instead of normal shots, however, what was launched let off beautiful multi-colored sparks as it trailed, before piercing clean through the shield-target as if it wsn't there, travelling a whole twenty feet from their launch-point before detonating in a shower of sparks and stars.

"Heh...NEVER underestimate Jester Shot. OK, looks like you got good scores all again, I'd say you're ready....but I STILL say we should get that barding upgraded after the tournament....unless, of course, King Aurus is willing to let us get it done NOW."

The tape ended.

“The jungle shot, however, is a bit newer.” Kngitmare said. “Luna, got a firing range I can use to test fire it?”

“Yeah, right over here, Knightmare.” the midnight blue alicorn points towards a large, in-door shooting range made from bricks of reinforced stone capable of stopping a tank’s main gun. Knightmare looks up to see timbers being used to prvent recoil and smiles. “Need a target?”

“Nope, just something to demonstrate with.” The changeling hops inside, over the barricade, and readies his weapon. “The thing about Jungle shot is that it’s not a lethal round. It’s more of a utility and capture bullet.” He readies the gun to fire, aiming down a dozen feed ahead of himself. “When it impacts, a small wisp of magic is generated, this causes all plantlife within a dozen meters to become hyperactive. They react by growing vines and branches out towards the wisp. This can allow a target to become ensnared, or to create platforms.” He opens fire and a trio of glowing green bullets fire out, impacting the ground and leaving three smoky balls of green light. Immediately the formerly-dead timbers spring to life, growing vines and branches out towards the wisps, the vines lashing out with such force that a few actually break into the ground, whilst others wrap around the steadied vines, creating a large net, through which the branches claw their way through, eventually ending with a large barricade of plant matter. “Not exactly lethal, but for a temporary barricade, snatching an opponent, or just to make traversing jungle canopy easier, it’s really handy.”

Twinkle

Knightmare tapped the ground with a jagged-looking staff, the weapon’s head bearing seven crystals floating serenely within the crook, ignoring gravity with gentle bliss. “This is Twinkle. Luna gave it to me when Celestia Knighted me, an old tradition from Luna’s days before the Nightmare incident.” He smiles, twirling the weapon with ease. “It’s designed to allow me to channel my voice to deafening proportions and, with enough will backing it, I can be heard clear across the country, though such a feat is taxing on my mind. It also allows me to cast ‘Magic Missile’ through it at a rapid pace. With it I can also enter a state known as ‘Overclocking’, also commonly called a ‘Rage Shift’, similar to what twilight does when her hair catches fire from raw power. Though, I gotta say, it’s most useful trait? It’s COMPLETELY indestructible. NOTHING will so much as damage this thing. I can tie it in a knot and with a flick of the wrist, it’ll spring back into place and be ready for a long-range magical beatdown in the blink of an eye.”

Valiant scratched his head. “So is this all some sort of complicated joke about you having powerful wood?”

“....no, actually, it’s not.” He promptly, literally, ties the staff into a knot and bops Valiant over the head with it, causing the staff to whip itself back into place. “Quite handy, doncha think?”

LAHIRE: Speed Form

Changing the subject, Knightmare grins. “You’ve got your robot, I’ve got mine.” with a flash of green light, Knightmare transforms himself into a sleek, aerodynamic war machine. Lacking the thick armor of Valiant’s mech, Knightmare’s new ‘form’ is, instead, slender and sharp, built for speed and equipped with a destructive energy-based arsenal built for fast-flying combat. “The LAHIRe-Speed Type transformation.” Knightmare says, his voice coming as a mechanical drone, as if a computer given life was speaking, instead of a changeling. “In this form, I am capable of thinking at a far faster pace than normal, due to having a computer brain, rather than a flesh one. Though it means my normal emotional drive is deadened, it isn’t completely gone. I am also capable of moving far FAR faster than normal, and have come just barely shy of pulling off a Sonic Rainboom of my own on several occasions. My arsenal is designed to take down heavily armored targets as quickly as possible using high-velocity hit and run tactics.”

“How are you supposed to use the restroom?” asked Valiant. “At least with my robot I can get out to make a pit stop.”

“I do need raw matter to serve as the mass behind the plasma....” Knightmare shrugs non-committally. “Yeah...it’s like that.”

Nyx: Alicorn

Shifting back, Knightmare flings Nyx into the air, allowing the daemonic mare to reform her real body again. “You have a vehicle that can fly, and so do I. I swear Nyx is like a Swiss army mare. She cooks,she cleans, she flies, she’s a guitar, she can level mountains, and she’s proven herself a combat badass on a multitude of occasions.”

Valiant shrugged. “But does it blend?”

Knightmare turns to Nyx, who’s currently using her magic to make smoothies out of various fruits and ice cream. “.....Yeah, I think she does.”

_____

SWAPOUT

Valiant picked up the guitar. Knightmare looked at him skeptically. “Do you know how to play?”

“Yeah, one of my ex-girlfriends taught me.” The earth pony got the instrument settled and put his hooves near the strings.

“What genre?” asked Knightmare.

Valiant’s eyes narrowed. “Folk.” He stuck a chord. “This land is your land, this land is my land...”

“OK Gimme my war goddess back, dammit!” Knightmare growls, “I refuse to let her suffer under FOLK MUSIC.”

“Well, at least let me take your stick for a test drive,” replied Valiant, grabbing for Twinkle the staff. He paused. “Wait, that came out wrong.” The cluster of laughs that arose made the agreement unanimous.

“Alright, starting with Twinkle, it’s designed to allow me to use magic more easily...that’s because I SUCKED at magic in the early years of the Game. If you use it, you might be able to pull o-YIPE!” Knightmare ducks just in time for a spray of magical bolts of light to whizz past his head and smack into Were-Tavi’s face, eliciting an angry growl from the earthpony thestral.

“Due to the Great Cutie Mark Mixup, I briefly was talented with magic,” remarked Valiant, giving the staff a twirl. “Does it show?”

“Yeah, a smidge,” shot back Knightmare, a cocky grin on his face as he holds the very angry werepony from shredding Valiant. “So, mind if I check out the Faustcannon?”

“Panzerfaust.” Nyx corrected.

“.....that was supposed to be a joke.”

“Your jokes suck when you’re not on an adrenaline rush.”

“....point taken.” He turns back to Valiant, “May I please see the Panzerfaust, good sir?”

“Sure. Be careful, it panzers Fausts.”

Knightmare chuckles at the joke, the chuckle going into a full laugh at the slapping sound of Nyx’s facehoof at the horrid wording. “A’ight, gimme dat.” He takes the massive tube of metal in his hands, looking it over and getting a feel for the weight. “Nicely tooled. For working with inferior equipment, I dare say you outshined the original design. It certainly LOOKS like a classic World War 2-era Panzerfaust, but the weight and size? Seems closer to a Vietnam-era bazooka, albeit with a bigger payload.”

“Where the hell did you get that information?” asked Valiant.

Knightmare shrugged. “Just pulling it out of my ass, mostly.”

Nyx rolled her eyes, “Knightmare, stop making shit up.”

“Meh, it’s still lighter than any Panzerfaust I ever used.”

“As if you actually used one.” Nyx countered. In response, Knightmare flipped a trio of rockets into the air, pulling one down into the weapon’s barrel, aiming and firing in less than a second, shredding two of the targets down range from the blast. He flipped the cannon up and loaded a second shot just as they reached their upper arc, aimed, and fired again, destroying three more targets, and held the Panzerfaust vertical just in time for the last shot to slide into place, which was then aimed and fired, taking out the last few targets.

Valiant had carefully stepped to the side before the shooting began. The rocket exhaust from the launch tube blasted Nyx in the face as Knightmare fired.

Nyx’s eyes bugged out at the sight, her face blackened more than normal by the blast. “....okay, so you DO know how to use one...”

“I was in my late seventies before I came here. I had joined the army in my youth, during World War Two, and a stolen Panzerfaust was one of my favorite weapons.” Knightmare grinned, “So while I was pulling the ‘Vietnam-era bazooka’ bit out of my ass, I DO know this is much lighter and easier to use than a standard Panzerfaust....”

“I swear.” Octavia growls, “Every damnable day you bring out more surprises, Knightmare...”

“I’m a very surprising man, Miss Phillharmonica.”

“I bet I’m more surprising,” challenged Valiant. He tossed a bottle of his finest tequila in Knightmare’s direction. Knightmare grabbed it, tossing his Clockwork Assault rifle back.

Knightmare looked over the bottle curiously, noting the label that listed its origin as the Ponyville Library Distillery. “....alcohol? Seriously? Alcohol?” He points to the bottle in his hand curiously, a deadpan expression firmly gripping his face like facehugger made of confusion. Despite having no idea where that analogy came from, his point was made.

Valiant shrugged. “Some earth ponies have a special talent for growing things. Mine is for blue agave. Now drink up. Like the fine print on the label says, it’s not for minors or buzzkills.”

“I’m no buzzkill, but I’m not suicidal either. Alcohol is lethal for changelings and flutterponies, and as someone who’s halfway between them and human, I’m fairly sure I’d wind up in a lot of pain or an early grave waiting for Celestia to haul my chitinous ass back from Tartarus...again..” Knightmare looks at the bottle, recalling his long life and comes up with a few useful ways to use the liquid, ranging from flashy, to practical.

“....ever seen a flare rune?” Knightmare asks, “They’re what are used in the jet engines that propel the Ragnarok. Very handy, but they need to be fueled. I usually keep a bottle of fuel on hand to use them in battle but this should be a good substitute.”

Knightmare then begins rapidly tapdancing, cutting shallow grooves in the floor with his hooves. A runic disc takes shape and he finishes it off be cutting the outer circle and pouring tequila on it. “Now, whenever I need to, I just tap the activation rune in the center and blammo!” He stomps on the center and a jet of hot air launches him straight up into the rafters. “Great for getting quick air and for some damn fun traps mid-battle!”

Valiant thought for a moment. “Is Nyx fireproof? I’m picturing a Jimi Hendrix burning-guitar moment here.”

Nyc responds by grabbing the bottle, downing it all, and casting a fire spell on her own stomach. Instead of exploding, she belches out a gout of black flames that sears Knightmare’s shoes, causing the anthropomorphic changeling to dance around the fight club rafters in pain and shock. “Still wondering if I’m fireproof?”

Valiant snapped the rifle to his shoulder and blasted a few of the supporting beams, dropping Knightmare back to the floor in a pile of splintered wood. The earth pony grinned and tossed the weapon from hoof to hoof. “I have no idea what the special ammunition is for, and it would probably get confusing to tell it all apart mid-battle, but I do like how this baby handles. Nice and ergonomic. I would know. I’ve built a few guns.”

“I actually cobbled that together out of the remains of a fair few of them, all of the parts are from the Great War, Forty Thousand years ago.” Knightmare said, sounding rather proud, “Loony made some upgraded versions built with Griffin’s gem-based magic and an easier loading system, but I still trust my belt-fed beast anyway, I put a lot of work into it and it’s my only weapon that doesn’t use or require magic beyond a single self-powering rune.”

Trixie hefted her M60. “Belt-fed is the way to go.”

“Agreed, certainly more fun than trying to load the rounds one at a time.” Knightmare held out one of each of the specialized rounds. “To deal with any confusion, they’re all color coded. Black are Hellfire, they explode, White is Jester, they pierce armor and are flashy-looking, Blue is Crystal, they shatter, pink is Holy, they call stars down from above, Green is Jungle, they make vines lash whatever’s hit, and Red is Meteor, they bounce around. That should help clear up some confusion. The US military does the same with their specialized rounds like explosive and armor-piercing.”

The blue unicorn mare shrugged. “One variety is all I need. Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.”

“So good old normal bullets?” Knightmare says. “Good to know. the Clockwork Assault Rifle’s bore is much bigger, since it doesn’t use explosives to propel the bullet and aside from a light shake, has no recoil, it’s a twenty millimeter bullet, same size as many world-war 2-era anti-tank cannons.”

“If I’m holding the M60 with magic or it’s mounted to the aircraft, then recoil isn’t an issue,” explained Trixie. “Besides, can you beat ten rounds per second?”

Nyx takes the Clockwork Assault Rifle, instead of Knightmare and hooks up a short, ten-round belt to the gun. One trigger pull, one shot consumed, but a trio of blue Crystal shot fly down the firing range, shattering against the wall and shredding two hanging paper targets. Nine more shots in rapid succession, and another twenty seven bullets are flying through the air. “The C.A.R’s main strength isn’t it’s speed, but rather it’s accuracy and efficiency.” she says, handing it back to Valiant. “Knightmare used it for the same reason the wardens used it during the War. It was a weapon that would remain reliable even as munitions dwindled. Perfect for a lone fighter with no way to get more ammunition.”

Valiant shrugged and hefted the assault rifle. “True, but Rambo didn’t carry this thing.”

“That’s because Rambo was a soldier, not a Warden.” Knightmare said, “He didn’t have access to advanced magitek like this.”

Rolling his eyes, Valiant corrected, “Actually, Rambo was Army Special Forces. I thought you were better at pop culture than this.”

“I’ll be honest, I found the Rambo films kinda boring.” Knightmare shrugged, “Whaddya want? I’m as of right now, almost ninety and I LIVED through World War Two, Vietnam, and The Chessgame of the Gods. Really, Rambo’s antics were small-time compared to that. Plus, even if I WAS a Rambo fanatic, if given the choice between a M60 and the C.A.R when fighting through the Chessgame all over again? I’d STILL pick the C.A.R, simply because it’s easier to repair, easier to get munitions for, and most importantly, EFFICIENT.”

“He’s doing it again,” murmured Cheerilee, rolling her eyes. “You let Valiant troll you into a shouting match.”

“Let them go on,” said Sir Win, grinning. “I like a good catfight.”

“Honestly, he’s barely got Knightmare riled up yet.” Chrysalis replied, “Knightmare’s like that, only certain things really annoy him. He likes playing along with trolls just to see them react.”

“So, wanna try out some of the special munitions, Valiant?” Knightmare grins, “Or are you scared?”

Valiant’s expression took on a decidedly challenging attitude. “Get me all the ammo you have. Remember that ‘accuracy and efficiency’ was the Axis model for fighting World War II. We beat ‘em with sheer numbers.”

Knightmare grins and hands Valiant a one hundred round belt of nothing but black bullets. “Here, try some of these lil’ poprocks.” The ‘bullets’ it’s now clear, are in fact twenty millimeters, specifically, twenty millimeter marbles! He wasn’t kidding when he said this thing was over forty millenia old.

“I seem to remember you claiming high accuracy,” commented Valiant. “Not sure how that’s going to happen with spherical bullets, but if these things are even half as powerful as you claim I sure hope they hit the intended target.”

“Give ‘em a try, so long as you don’t freak out, then they’ll hit what you aim for.” Knightmare said, the ghost of a grin on his face, a look that made Nyx, Chrysalis, and Octavia take several steps backwards.

“I think I’ll record this on the high-speed.” Luna interjects, “I’ve got a theory as to how they can be so accurate but I need to see it in action, and my eyes aren’t THAT fast.”

“I’ll bet it’s magic,” said Valiant, spitting out the word like it tasted bad. “I never trusted anything I couldn’t see and touch. Heck, I even came up with an anti-magic blocking system. With the theory that ‘energy is energy is energy,’ all it takes is figuring out the right frequency. After that, you can jam it or destructively interfere, but my favorite is applying a Faraday Cage and grounding it. Twilight was unhappy when I tested it on her.”

“Well let’s not rely on theories.” Luna says, “I took that thing apart so I know the only magic is the splitting rune and, aside from being self-powering, that’s the only magic it has in it. Everything else is highly advanced clockwork machinery. So hit the range and let ‘em rip!”

Valiant closed top cover, locking the belt in place. He stepped up to the firing line and drew a bead on the targets down range. The first shot hit the target and it shattered to pieces. The auto-firing weapon continued to spit out Hellfire bullets as he swept the range with ammunition.

Knightmare inched up behind Valiant, leaned forward..and screamed in his ears. “AHMYGAWDIT’SDISCORDHE’SBACKRUNFORYOURLIVESOPENFIRETHEBLACKTWINSAREBACKFROMTHEDEADHELP!”

Valiant whirld in surprise and fear, the assault rifle continuing to spray bullets in all directions. Knightmare dived out of the way just ahead of a barrage of explosive projectiles, their impacts throwing bits of the floor and building everywhere. The spinning ball of death Valiant had become continued until the weapon ran out of ammo.

“Sorry,” said Valiant. “This was built for someone else and my hoof got stuck in the trigger guard.” He smirked as if to say, ‘That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.’

“Well that was...shocking.” Luna said, dropping the shield that protected the non-immortals and her delicate equipment from being shredded to powder by the explosive bullets. Up above, Knightmare was rolling along the rafters, laughing like a maniac at the sight.

“Oh man that was fucking hilarious...” the changeling High-General said, “Woona! PLEASE tell me you recorded that!”

“But of course, both regular AND High Speed! Let’s take a look at the footage, shall we?” The footage caught all of the mayhem with ease and, amusingly enough, revealed that the force of firing the semi-malleable bullets caused them to form, essentially, darts shortly after leaving the barrel, explaining the weapon’s surprising accuracy for something that uses marbles as bullets.

Valiant looked up. “Your turn. Catch!” He spit out his switchblade, popped the sharp edge, and threw in in Knightmare’s direction. Knightmare watched the spinning knife approach. He certainly didn’t want to catch it by the sharp end, but also was not keen on touching Valiant’s spit. Instead, he flicked his wrist, summoning Nyx from her position on the ground into his hand, juggling the deadly blade for a brief moment before grabbing it in a small handkerchief, which he promptly used to clean both weapons of saliva.

“Remember, NO FOLK MUSIC, or it’ll be HER you need to worry about.” He says, before tossing Nyx into the air, letting the spinning axe drop down and stick into the concrete floor just a few inches away from Valiant’s nose.

The orange pony worked it loose. “I guess my ex also taught me some Journey. I really started to hate that band when we broke up, but I remember it.”

“Learn some AC/DC.” Nyx says, the axe speaking calmly, her seven strings of lightning vibrating like her vocal chords.

Valiant rolled his eyes. “That Scottish/Australian mashup? I guess that is still better than anything I’ve heard in Equestria.” He began strumming his way through the opening bars of Don’t Stop Believin’.

“Equestria’s Metal scene was sorely lacking before we showed up.” Knightmare says, juggling the switchblade lightly. “Did you ever learn Mage-Techniques? Or do they not exist in your universe?”

“Is that like power chords?” asked Valiant. “Or are we not talking about music anymore?”

“...not quite.” Knightmare responds, taking the knife into a reverse grip and forming a second false knife from lightning magic. "Here, lemme show you." Knightmare shows off an array of clearly magic-based weapons skills, each one unique and powerful, growing more bizarre and dangerous as he progresses.

“Wanna learn, kiddo?” Nyx asks, her voice implanting unique knowledge into his mind.

Valiant braced his hooves against the side of his head. “I can appreciate a quick transfer of information, but get out of my thoughts or I’ll show you things so rule 34 that not even the internet dares create them.”

“I’ve been in Knightmare’s head,” Nyx says, drawing herself from Valiant’s mind, “I’ll be honest, I’ve seen FAR worse than whatever you can consider from his sweet dreams. His nightmares, however, would shatter your mind.”

Valiant opened his mouth but Sir Win broke into the conversation. “While who’s been through more Hell is always an interesting conversation, I believe this was about the weapons?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Valiant looked at Nyx. “I guess that leaves transportation. I can only imagine the irony, a pony riding a pony.” He glanced at Knightmare. “I don’t really mind you trying to fly Monstrosity. Not even Wildfire, Lauren Faust’s friend, could break it.”

“Don’t forget the robots,” reminded Chrysalis.

“I have no idea how I’m supposed to turn myself into some sort of changeling mech,” replied Valiant. He rubbed his chin. “Although...”

“Shapeshifting isn’t THAT hard if you know the right spells, and I doubt we’d NEED to swap our robot forms....” Knightmare shrugs.

“Good. I’ve done enough bouncing through various universes to know that I don’t appreciate shifting forms.” Valiant shuddered. “I hope one day to forget what happened in Universe 63.”

“To be honest, you do make a rather pretty mare,” said Sir Win. Valiant shot him with a withering glare, but didn’t reply, knowing that such comments were simply in the demon’s flaming nature.

Valiant turned back towards Nyx. “Anyway, do I need a bit and bridle or something? Maybe a saddle, or do you like it bareback?” He gave Knightmare a preemptive look to stave off any innuendo.

“As funny as that would be,” Nyx began, “My barding serves as it’s own saddle. Just try to not fall off.”

“Let’s see if I learned anything from all those mechanical bulls in all those bars,” muttered Valiant. “Time for boarding the broad with the barding.”

As Valiant hopped onto the daemonic Alicorn’s back, the cool metal of the barding seemed to conform to his shape, being unusually comfortable for what was supposed to be cold metal, and seemingly locking him into position. A sensation of powerful magics began coursing through his body, mind, and soul, granting power unrivaled.

“Hold on tight!” Nyx said...before taking off like a bucking bronco, leaping and kicking and flipping and flying throughout the large warehouse at a mind-boggling speed.

“Good thing I learned how to do this with a drunken handicap,” Valiant muttered.

As Nyx continued her rampage, the powerful magic coursing through Valiant’s body began to spray out of him. with no guidance or control, it formed jets of raw energy, ripping up the reinforced concrete floor and tearing into the walls and ceiling, only a rapidly erected shield keeping the bystanders from being vaporized by the intense raw power flying about uncontrollably.

“DUDE!” Knightmare shouted, “TRY DOING SPELLS!”

Valiant waved his hooves like he was in a slap fight with an invisible opponent.

“...what the hell are you doing?” Nyx asks, having stopped bouncing around. “You look like a moron.”

“In case you forgot, I’m pony riding a pony. The situation was already pretty far out there to begin with.”

“That’s no excuse to flail about like a nimrod.” Nyx snarled. “Knightmare, gets your rump on my back and let’s show him how it’s SUPPOSED to be done!”

“Just watch and learn, Valiant.” Knightmare said, mounting Nyx in his normal changeling form. The hellish horse took off immediately, bucking and flailing wildly. But rather than fighting to stay in control, Knightmare let himself be taken with the beat, flicking out his hooves with each buck, letting his mind flow and casting an array of spells, not just random blasts of destruction, but buffs, healing spells, and even more powerful magic that he couldn’t cast normally.

After several dozen more tests, the data was checked over and double checked for accuracy.

“OK, lads.” Luna said, “We’ll send the videos and data to the judges for final testing before the match. C’mon, let’s stop by Star’s End, my treat!”

“Oh, goody. we’re gonna get drunk off our asses.” Knightmare sighed, having had WAY too many bad experiences with alcohol.

“Sugar, you don’t know the half of it.” Nyx grinned, “Let me show you a drink called ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’.”