The feral ghouls charged, cold blue eyes glowing in the dark. Not good, not good, not good. I backed up, turning to run. Mustang’s heavy steps were right next to me.

“Elder, wait-” Crosshair started to say, but I was already running. Mustang continued running alongside me for about five yards, before stopping. Wait, why was he stopping? WHY WAS HE STOPPING? A series of utterly bizarre squishing thumps made me stop. Turning back I saw the feral ghoul horde charging... and running into a solid wall. Specifically, a solid wall of clear ice. How had I missed that? I trotted back over, watching the ghouls comically pile on top of each other as they kept charging and falling atop one another.

“Huh... I guess Celestia and Luna must be watching over us.” I said. Looking up, I realised that at some point, the road had cracked open, letting, presumably, running water down from above. How it had frozen in a solid, near perfectly flat wall was anypony’s guess.

“Heheh, I think that one just got it’s tongue frozen to the other side.” Crosshair was barely suppressing a laugh, his face scrunched up into an odd expression as he desperately tried not to smile. Overcoming his giggles, he became a little more serious. “We can proceed to the Stable, Elder. It’s unlikely the Snow Pirates can pursue us; not after your clever destruction of the ladder.” I glanced back at the ladder we’d come down, finding it had been crushed in multiple places by my fall. No wonder Mustang and Crosshair had to jump down.

“Of course, Star Paladin. No time to waste. Crosshair lead the way.” I said, punching a hoof forwards in an appropriately aggressive manner.

Crosshair facehoofed, shaking his head before pointing at my floodlight. “I’m afraid you will have to lead Elder. You’re the only one of us with a functioning light.”

Cocknoodles, he was right. Still, all I had to do was follow the signs, and be ready to fire at the first glimpse of trouble. My armor would most probably withstand anything we encountered, before whatever it was was taken down by my fearless companions.

Steeling my resolve, I started down the dark tunnel.

The hissing of ghouls echoed around us as they crawled and cantered unseen in the dark. The wide beam of my floodlight cut through the dark, illuminating the tunnels and catwalks ahead. Unfortunately, the bright light had a habit of attracting ghouls, and they rarely came from in front of us. Often they would burst out of maintenance and supply rooms, scattered along the tunnels. Occasionally the ghouls also popped out of overturned rail cars.

“I think the worst is past us. The hissing has gotten quiet-ERK!” Somepony had leapt onto my back in obvious fear. “Crosshair, get off me!” I yelled in indignation. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Well, okay, maybe there was, but still; didn’t want him freaking out over just some noises.

“Elder. I am not on your back. I’m here, on your left.” A sudden feeling of dread filled me as the pony on my back wrapped their hooves around my neck.

“M-Mustang, you’re awfully light.” The moment of awkward silence that greeted me was not comforting.

“Elder, I’m not on your back either...” He said after a bit from my right.

The gurgling growl alerted me to the ghoul on my back. The gnawing on my horn was also a good indicator.

“GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!” I screamed, dancing around as I tried to buck the ghoul off. The ghoul could have been a champion rodeo rider with how tightly it was clinging to me. I was spinning and kicking, my hooves connecting with something soft. Unfortunately, it turned out to be Crosshair. The zebra howled in pain, holding his nose with one hoof before dousing it in a healing potion.

“YOU IDIOT! HOLD STILL!” Crosshair shouted. A light strobed out as Crosshair fired his trademark zebra rifle.

The ghoul took burst of shots to the torso and burst into flames, but didn’t have the decency to die and let go. Now there was a flaming ghoul chewing on my horn and dripping hot flesh all over it! I bolted down the tunnel, looking for something to extinguish the flame engulfing my back and horn.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” I screamed, my flaming horn burning with the heat of a thousand suns.

“ELDER! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!” Mustang yelled at me. Genius. Freaking genius. Still running, I buckled onto my side and rolled on my back, finally dislodging the ghoul. I jumped up, spinning around and searching for my fiery foe. Instead, I was met with a lack of burning enemy. Taking a few turns, I tried to reacquire my target. My helmet’s floodlight fell on a fleshy lump that vaguely resembled a pony. A trail of bodily fluids oozing back way over to me. Panting in my relief, I felt something wet and chunky on my horn, slowly dribbling down towards my eyes.

I pulled off my helmet and immediately searched my saddlebags, digging for something to wipe my face. In this case, it was the bedsheet I ‘borrowed’ from the inn at Snowridge. What! Their service was terrible, and the room was already bare of creature comforts. Mustang and Crosshair caught up to me, just in time to watch me try to clean black ghoul ichor from my face.

“Crosshair. Mustang. I need to feel clean again.” My body shuddered involuntarily. They both gave me mixed looks of humor and what I chose to believe was sympathy. Mustang extracted a bar of soap and a bottle of irradiated water. Exactly why anypony would buy irradiated water was beyond me. I mean it was everywhere already.

“We’ll be over here Elder. Please be quick. You can scrub down your armor with Sparkle Cleaner later.” Wait, my armor? Glancing over my shoulder, I was mortified to see my back absolutely coated in black sludge. It was on my horn and my MANE! I dumped the water over my head and vigorously rubbed in the soap.

My helmet lay deactivated whilst I cleaned myself in the red glow of... red glow of... Where was that coming from? I turned to see Crosshair and Mustang using a flare to illuminate the immediate area.

“Where did you get a flare? And more importantly, why have we been relying solely on my helmet for light?”

“We picked up a few in Snowridge,” Crosshair explained. “and as for your second question. We thought you wanted to save caps?” Clever ponies. I knew there was a reason I kept them around. I rinsed off my mane as best I could, vowing to have a shower, neigh a very long shower, as soon as possible.

After my quick wash, I put my thoroughly filthy helmet back on and we continued following the signs to the stable. We’d been walking for some time when we finally saw it. The tunnel lighting was fully operational around the next corner, illuminating the stable door. I rushed ahead, skidding to a halt as I finally witnessed it’s full and awesome glory.

The massive gear shaped door of Stable VII lay before us, surprisingly devoid of the usual skeletons you saw of ponies who had failed to get into the stable on time. The door had the T.I.T. company logo stamped on the top of the door, a wrench crossed with a bolt of lightning. The abbreviated name and the company’s full name were underneath the logo and the stable designation just below that.

I approached at a full gallop, hugging the stable door. ‘All mine’ my inner greedy pony cried. Right before I got electrocuted. Thankfully my power armor took most of the damage, but it still hurt. Kind of like getting burned, only the effect didn’t linger.

“Bleargh!” I managed, as I fell away from the electrical discharge. My recently repaired HUD flashed an alarming red before I heard a fizzing pop, and then it went dark.

“Careful, Elder. Stable doors have been known to be rigged with traps to prevent someone from forcing entry.” Crosshair added belatedly, whilst unsuccessfully stifling his giggling. I’d see if he was still laughing after I made him test fire another shotgun shell. I’m certain I could make a plasma shotgun shell. Mmmmm... Plasma...

I stepped back from the door and removed my now-defunct helmet so I could inspect the area around the door for any more hidden surprises. I should’ve known this could happen, some of the privately owned stables the Steel Rangers had run into in the past had had some nasty protection methods. One stable I recalled hearing about, had tesla coils waiting to electrocute anypony trying to hack the door open.

“Elder,” Mustang called, as I trotted up to the control panel. “Why did we come here?” What? Oh sweet Celestia how could I have forgotten. I facehoofed. I’d been leading my two Rangers here and they didn’t even know why?

“Sorry Mustang, Crosshair. I completely forgot.” I tried to access the door controls but found them locked, naturally. “We’re here because a Stable would make an ideal base. It’s easily defended, has plenty of room to store technology and equipment. Most importantly though, they usually have apple orchards or some other means of providing fresh food.” A stable food supply in the wasteland is something to treasure, we could probably trade the excess food we’d likely have for weapons, ammo etc.

“But what about the Stable Dwellers, Elder? What if there’s innocent ponies in there?” Mustang asked.

“Well Mustang, generally we usually induct some of them as initiates and move the rest of them somewhere else.” I started going through the password options, trying to find the right word to open the door. “Although, usually, they’ve either moved out by now, or all died for some reason or another.”

A minute later, and I was fairly certain I had deduced the proper code. But... no. No the password couldn’t be... it was. The password was ‘STABLE’. Who thought that was a good idea? That’s like having ‘password’ as your password, you won’t fool anyone.

With a release of ancient, pressurised air, the stable door groaned. Dirt, ice, and accumulated dust fell away as the door screeched inward, before rolling to the left in one smooth motion. Cautiously we entered the stable, wary for signs of danger.

The stable walls were all clean grey. If not for the thin layer of dust they would probably be shining. The air had a stale hint to it, like a room that badly needed aired out. The entrance area had a small room off to one side, where the door controls were protected by a thick plate door and what I suspected was bullet proof glass. Directly ahead of us lay another door. As we approached it, the thin metal door automatically opened for us, accompanied by a smooth whooshing sound.

We descended a flight of stairs that lead us into the first level, following some helpful signs that eventually directed us to the atrium. The atrium was a wide open space, with a balcony above us and a round porthole window the Overmare probably used as their office.

“Alright, Rangers. Listen up.” I said in my best commanding tone, suppressing an excited squee at finally being able to say something like that. “We need to get to the Overmare’s office. From there we can find out what this particular stable was doing, and if we need to start shooting everything we see.” I looked up as the lights flickered ominously. “After that we can work on the power,” I said as the lights settled. I trotted over to another of the conveniently placed maps of the stable floor plan, next to a billboard containing two hundred year old memo’s and once important announcements. The floor plan showed we had to go down two more levels to reach an elevator to the Overstallion’s office, that was surprising. Usually stables had Overmares leading them. The Overstallion’s office wasn’t what I was fully focused on, what caught my eye was the lowest level of the stable floor plan, an entire floor that was just one room.

I let Crosshair take the lead. My helmet was busted anyway and the well lit stable made navigation easy. We quickly descended down two levels; not taking the time to properly explore the rooms on each level.

A few minutes in and we were on the second floor. Through one of the doors the flickering lights glinted off of a metallic object. Unable to suppress my curiosity any longer, I wandered into a particularly dusty room and levitated the object in front of me. As my telekinesis rotated the boxy item, feather soft dust fell away from it, revealing it to be... sweet Luna’s exploding ovaries, it was an energy pistol! A very dusty one, but my first ever magical energy weapon salvage. Funny how an energy pistol would just be sitting in a mound of dust, though.

I glanced at the pile. Noticing some kind of metallic clip, I levitated it up, hoping it would be an energy cell. Instead it was a name tag. ‘Lucky Shot’ was printed in neat hoofwriting, next to a small photo taking on a decidedly sepia tone of a smiling brown earth pony buck.

I glanced at the dust pile. Then the magical energy weapon. Looking once more back to the dust pile, realisation finally dawned on me. “Oh....Oooooooooh. I...uh. Ahem. Crosshair, Mustang! Try not to step in anypony’s elses remains.” I said over my shoulder. Crosshair took that inopportune moment to lift his snout out of another ash pile, a film of white around his nostrils. “WHAT DID I JUST SAY!”

Before I could rebuke Crosshair, a bright red beam of light cut through the air, glancing across my shoulder plate.

“STOP... RIGHT THERE.... CRIMINAL.... SCUM...” The broken, tinny voice of a robot barked. A ponyesque robot with a domed faceplate was firing at us, I recognized it as a protectopony robot. The lasers fired from its head, burning and warping my metal armor but otherwise not harming me. I readied my missile launcher, angling myself just right. My trajectory was a little off, the missile exited the barrel, missing the robot which had decided to charge at us, the ensuing explosion knocking it over anyway.

The robot was unable to right itself, and began to instead fire wildly. “YOU’VE BROKEN... the LAW... PAY a fi-KZZZT.” Judging by it’s actions, it was most likely part of T.I.T’s security. The missiles splash seemed to have damaged its combat inhibitor. Crosshair quickly put three rounds into its head from close range, finally disabling it.

“That’s a new one.” I said aloud in the sudden silence. “Usually it’s ‘die zebra scum’, or something about security. This is the first time I ever heard a sentry bot stating I was a lawbreaker.” Maybe the T.I.T security was from a different provider...?

“ZEBRA INFILTRATORS DETECTED. ALL UNITS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” Another robot boomed, it’s speakers crackling as it rounded the corner.

“Oh, well there you go.” I said, pointing a hoof at the newest addition to our room. “Must be a one time thing.” This one was armed with dual miniguns, which revved up ominously. I prepared to fire my missile launcher again, when one of the rounds pierced my leg guard. Flailing my hoof about in pain, I realised it was using armor penetrating rounds. Getting a grip, I leapt back behind an ash covered bed as a streak of bullets disintegrated and exploded the furniture around me. Clouds of feather and wool exploded as the miniguns chewed through our thin cover. Glancing back, I noticed Crosshair was hiding behind me for extra cover.

The robot ceased firing, as a true hailstorm of bullets suddenly bit into it, severing one of its arms in a shower of sparks and lubricant. The sentry bot turned to its new attacker, preparing to fire, but never getting the chance as its head was disintegrated by a focused stream of bullets. The head exploded, flying into the room and landing by our hooves.

“Inkwell! Crosshair!” Mustang nearly yelled, relief seeping onto his features. “I got cut off by a cluster of irksome sprite-bots and a brain-bot. This stable is rife with robot guardians.” I stood back up, helping Crosshair to his hooves.

“The robots should be controlled in the Overstallion’s office. The faster we get there, the quicker we can shut down these machines.” I cringed as I prepared to lead the way. “But can we uh, get this bullet out of my leg first?” Crosshair rolled his eyes, reaching into his saddlebag and retrieving a scalpel with his mouth and a healing potion, smiling as I stepped out of the leg guard.

Med-x is cold, especially when it enters your system via needles. My suit injected me with a dose of med-x just after Crosshair had pulled the bullet from my leg. The damn suit was acting weird, it didn’t inject me with med-x when it was supposed to... or maybe it wouldn’t inject me until I reached a certain pain threshold. Regardless I made a mental note to look into it, because while the scalpel freaking hurt, it hadn’t been nearly as bad as when the bullet went in.

The journey to the Overstallion’s office wasn’t as difficult as I’d first envisioned. We encountered six more of the protectopony sentry bots, and two of those creepy brain-bots with their gentle feminine voices before finally getting to the corridor housing the lift. Fortunately, each encounter had been a separate instance, and relatively easily dealt with.

We entered the lift with some trepidation, though I was positive only the robots were being controlled, not the doors and other utilities. I mean why let us run around if the security systems could lock us in a room or corridor.

The lift door opened to reveal the Overstallions office in pitch black darkness. With a dull thrumming, the lights turned on, revealing several roof-mounted turrets, and four sentry bots armed with missile launchers and gatling weapons, which were powering on. Crosshair’s jaw hit the floor, and I squeaked in fear. Reaching across the entire way, Mustang hit the ‘close door’ button gently, sealing the entire nightmare back on the other side of a solid door.

“I think...” Mustang said, after some time. “We should find an alternate solution.” His voice was jovial, despite his initial pause. The lift door opened once more, this time depositing us back on the third level of the stable. I glanced around, looking for another map. There would only be two other places where we could shut down the robots. Logically, it should be either Stable Security, or the Engineering Department.

With a sudden gusto, patriotic music blared as a sprite-bot rounded the corner. At first, we almost ignored it, due to it’s seemingly docile activity. I started walking past it when the sprite-bot froze.

“Present I.D. or be terminated.” It stated clearly.

I laughed at the floating radio, preparing to swat it out of the air, when I remembered I did have I.D. I floated out Lucky Shot’s I.D. allowing the small robot to scan the card.

“Error. Lucky Shot was terminated nine nine nine years ago. Intruder alert!” The robot began firing and was soon joined by two floating robots I recognized as Mister Gutsies. I immediately prioritized them, swatting the sprite-bot aside and firing my saddle mounted rifle at them. I shattered two of the eye-stalks on one gutsy with a lucky spray, and made a lot of dents on both of them before they began to really pound on me with built in flamers and plasma casters.

Crosshair yelped as magical plasma singed his tail. The magic projectiles burned into my armor, eating metal and gouging chunks, but the thick armor held. The same couldn’t be said for my rifle though as the green plasma struck, and then destabilized my rifle, turning it into a puddle of green goop.

“I JUST GOT THAT!” I roared, unholstering my shotgun and firing. I’d packed in one of the explosive shells, which exploded violently against the top of the gutsy that had destroyed my rifle. Blinking away the after images, I saw the round had bent the eye-stalks at odd angles, one nearly falling completely off. The blinded gutsy attacked wildly, its saw arm grinding through the plasma caster of its companion. Mustang unleashed the full force of Hailstorm, the minigun’s excessive fire finally bringing the robots down in a pile of twisted scrap.

“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!” The sprite-bot continued to blare as it lay immobile on the ground.

“Shut up, already!” I growled, punching my magi-drill into its small body and tunneling right through it. The robot sputtered and sparked, before falling silent.

“Elder Inkwell, I’m sorry you-hurk!” I cut Mustang off as I grabbed him in a hug.

“That’s the third gun I’ve lost, and I barely got to use it.” I complained, totally not sobbing as I hugged him for an appropriate amount of time. Three minutes if a cracked clock hanging from one wall could be trusted.

“If it makes you feel better, this stable will likely have a gun you can replace it with, in the armory.” Crosshair said, pointing at a map he had pulled off a wall. I looked at the map, stifling a few more sniffles. Crosshair’s hoof was pointing at the security office on the fourth level, the armory was adjacent to the security offices.

“We’re going to have to go further...Deeper into the rabbit hole so to speak.” I said, as I looked over the map.

“What’s a rabbit?” Crosshair asked.

“No idea. Just the way the saying goes.” I responded. “Let’s move on. We’ve been ambushed on this level more than enough times.” Crosshair rolled up the map as we began making our way to the stairwell.

We descended onto the fourth level, guns ready as we exited onto a floor where most of the stable dwellers must have died. Broken skeletons and bone fragments littered the floor along with the dried blood stains on the walls and more piles of ash from disintegrated ponies. I couldn’t resist the urge to occasionally pick up and inspect a weapon.

Most of the guns were in surprisingly good condition, though many had been damaged by what looked like treads, and some of the lenses in energy weapons were misaligned. Mustang stuffed several of the weapons into his saddle bags whilst I crammed the rest into my own.

We took care to avoid stepping on the skeletons, weird as it may sound. It felt wrong to stand on the skeletons or scuff and spread the ash piles. I’d have Crosshair and Mustang clear the remains away, once we shut down the robots.

We were making a beeline for the Stable security, when the floor rumbled ominously. The metal walls shuddered ever so slightly as something heavy stalked through the corridors. The rumbling of powerful hydraulics and crunching bones echoing loudly from the level below.

“INTRUDERS DETECTED! PLEASE VACATE THE PREMISES!” The booming, electronic voice of some kind of robot boomed as it stomped below us, navigating its way up from the lower levels.

“Scatter! Mustang in that room on the left. Elder, get into that room on the right. Wait until it passes and then fire at it.” Crosshair hissed at us, before running into a room a little ways behind us. Mustang had already moved into position, leaving me standing out in the open. I quickly remedied that, and walked into the little room. It was some kind of maintenance cubby, complete with several sets of tools hanging on neat little pegs or packed into glass cabinets. I definitely had to come back here. I needed proper equipment to properly inspect my weapons and power armor.

My attention was reluctantly diverted back to our current dilemma. A bizarre robot tried to round the corner, though it seemed to be having some severe trouble with the tight corner. It’s round oval body and four cumbersome legs were obviously not designed to navigate the tight corridors.

“THREE INTRUDERS SIGHTED! DISARM YOURSELVES AND LEAVE THE STABLE! YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO COMPLY!” The robot’s voice box boomed. That was the first thing we’d take out. I cringed at the fact that we’d have to destroy it, but I could always examine the remains afterwards. Maybe in time we could get another up and running. The wall shuddered, knocking down smaller items and sending a tool chest onto the floor as the robot more or less squeezed itself forward, denting and scratching the corridor walls.

It stumbled on its large and cumbersome legs, nearly falling over. Mustang stepped out of cover to begin firing, I likewise copied him. I had loaded two explosive slugs into the shotgun, but they only left two burn marks on the armor plating, not doing any real damage.

“THREAT LEVEL: OMEGA! USE OF DEADLY FORCE WILL NOW BE APPLIED!” The robot opened up, its back panels revealing a long and unfamiliar energy weapon and its two side panels revealed rotary machine guns. We backed up quickly, before breaking into a panicked sprint as the robot began firing its weapons.

Large caliber bullets whizzed by, impacting, and in some cases, penetrating the stable walls. Glass and bone fragments flew through the air as windows and skeletal remains exploded. We rounded a corner, passing Crosshair just in time to watch a large blue, energy projectile smash into the floor and leave a huge burn mark. In the center of the scorch, the glowing metal had shaped into a smallish crater. If it wasn’t so hot, I probably could have used it for cover.

“Any bright ideas Elder? Perhaps retreat?”

“Yeah, let’s make like a tree and get the fuck outta here.”

“Come now, Elder, I’m sure we can-” All of a sudden my eardrums popped painfully. The wall behind us... and across from us had been vaporized in a near deafening explosion.

“Maybe retreat is the best option after all.” Mustang said, all traces of jovial heroism completely evaporating.

We hastily took the nearest turn and made for a door that I hoped was an exit. Mustang had unfortunately dropped all the weapons that he’d collected in his expedient retreat but I couldn’t really hold it against him due to the currently extenuating circumstances. Much.

Just as I was starting to think that maybe Crosshair was right about this Stable being a death trap, we hit the door, finding a set of stairs on the other side. Unfortunately they only led deeper into the stable.

Before we could contemplate an alternate route, the killer robot kindly announced its intent to launch a missile barrage. We fled downstairs just as the first missile was fired, making for the next level down. Just as we reached halfway point the missiles exploded, knocking us off our hooves.

Mustang went down, rolling ahead of me, while Crosshair was slammed upwards to hit the ceiling painfully, before landing on top of me. I had almost kept my balance, but the additional weight of Crosshair caused me to flop forward and start sliding down the stairs like a sled. Above me Crosshair started strangling me as he held onto my throat tightly, screaming ‘doomed’ the entire way. We slammed into the landing, mashing up against the wall in a painful, groaning heap.

“Crosshair. Please. Let go! You’re killing me!” I managed to choke out, Crosshair’s hooves slackened as he collapsed next to me. I took a few rasping breaths, before I braced my hooves and stood up. Mustang was nearby, wrapping some bandages around his left foreleg with practised ease.

“I could use a healing potion, Mustang.” Crosshair groaned, whilst standing up. “Just splash it on my back, it feels like it is just one big bruise right now.” Mustang happily obliged, pouring half the potion on his back and then forcing him to drink the rest.

Taking a look at the stairway entry, I was both relieved and worried that an avalanche of metal had blocked the bot from following us.

I had Crosshair pull out the map we had procured earlier and examined this level’s floor plan. The fifth level housed the reactor and engineering department. The only other way to get back to the upper floors was by using the stairs on the other side of this level or by crawling through the ventilation ducts. I immediately scrapped the latter idea, Mustang would barely fit into the vents, even I’d have to squeeze a bit. This left us with one alternative, reaching engineering and disabling the stable security. There was no way I was going back to the upper floors with that killer robot roaming about.

“Saddle up Rangers, this stable hasn’t beaten us yet.” Mustang perked up, whilst Crosshair was giving me a doubtful look. “We can shut down the robots on this level, plus the giant killer robot is on the floor above us.”

“But what if there are-” Crosshair tried to interrupt me, I cut him off quickly.

“Guys. GUYS!” I said, holding up a placating hoof. “We’ve totally got this.” My enthusiasm was infectious. Well, at least Crosshair wasn’t frowning anymore. I leaned over the map with Mustang and Crosshair, working out the quickest route to engineering.

The fifth level was dark, the majority of the ceilings lights had burst bulbs and occasionally sparked dangerously. This level was surprisingly devoid of robots. I suspected they had all been on the upper floors of the stable. These corridors were warped and more spacious, likely the oversized security robot had ruined the walls in its endless patrols. We passed darkened workshops, containing dust covered machinery and a few specialised rooms. For instance the PipBuck technicians office. I had to fight every kleptomanic, tech hungry impulse in order to pass by it.

“We’ll come back later, we’ll come back later, we’ll come back later...” I muttered the mantra as we walked past, my hooves dragging slightly as I forced myself to move forward. We paused as we came upon a large scorch mark on the floor. The burn mark was fresh, tendrils of smoke rising up and vanishing just as quickly. A beam of artificial light was illuminating the burnt patch of floor from above. I looked up cautiously, seeing a hole seared through the metallic roof to the level above us. The whole corridor vibrated, the corridor going dark as a familiar robot blotted out the light.

“ZEBRA INFILTRATOR REACQUIRED, FIRING PRIMARY WEAPONS!” We backed away from the hole quickly, metal groaned as the robot tried to get into a firing position. “ERROR! ERROR! TARGETING FAILURE! REPOSITIONING!” The Robot began stomping away on the floor above, much to our relief.

The whole corridor groaned ominously, before the roof not so much collapsed as it did split like a rotten muttfruit, letting the huge robot came plummeting through. The robot fell towards us, and Mustang and Crosshair were able to run away quickly enough. I, on the other hoof, was just on their heels, when the body of the robot pinned my hind legs. I was immediately grateful to the Ministry of Technology as the heavy robot pinned my legs under its considerable weight, but thankfully didn’t squash me like a radroach. The robot’s lights flickered and then dimmed, likely from the brunt force of the fall. Finally some good luck.

“Inkwell are you okay?” Mustang asked, coughing and wafting away the dirt and dust.

“Urgh! My freaking legs!” I groaned, trying to pull myself out from under the metal monster. “Crosshair, Mustang. Get this thing off of me!” Immediately Mustang obliged, his green magical aura wrapping around the machine and leaning it off my legs. I squirmed forward on my front legs like my drill instructor taught me and my fellow initiates ages ago. I jumped to my hooves as soon as I was free from the cramped location. “Alrighty-” I started to say before being interrupted.

“REBOOT COMPLETE, INTRUDERS DETECTED!” The massive robot thundered, it’s oval body lunging forward and slamming into my rear. I spun around, seeing the towering robot preparing to fire its ranged weapons. Of course, ranged weapons. I ducked under its firing arc, sliding to a halt, easily within crushing distance of its hydraulic legs.

“Keep it busy Elder! We have a plan!” Crosshair called out somewhere behind me. I was too busy focusing on not dying to ask what. The death machine took an unsteady step forward, two of its legs sparked dangerously. The robot took another stomping step forward, making the walls rumble with the force.

I grabbed onto the leg in a flash of brilliant stupidity. I realised my potentially fatal error as it slammed me into the wall with a resounding thud. Flattened between two relatively solid bits of metal, I couldn’t help but to let go of the giant hoof with a grunt of pain. Of course, this did nothing to help, as my knee guard became tangled in the exposed mechanisms when the leg pulled away. Groaning inarticulately, I was totally unprepared for being stomped on. If I had thought that being mashed into a Stable wall was bad, the floor sucked even more.

Probably the only thing saving me was the obvious extent of the damage to the robot’s actuators. It didn’t seem to be able to force enough pressure on it and completely flatten me. As it lifted its hoof off of me, I stumbled my way to standing up.

“Well, that wasn’t so ba-GULK~!” I started before getting stepped on again.

My armor began groaning from the strain of pressure, and I could hear internal components breaking and dislodging under the surface. My helmet's visor cracked explosively, spider webbing fractures along the entire surface. Suddenly, the HUD flickered back to life and began running a diagnostics and reboot display, completely removing any ability to see anymore.

“Oh, are you freaking kidding me?!” I yelled in frustration. As the pressure let off me again, I immediately started to scramble out of the way again, blinded as I was. I immediately regretted this hasty decision as I ran face first into a wall. Sure, I was wearing a helmet, but come on, It still pinched like crazy. So I have sensitive ear! Who cares! UGH!

Of course, as I reeled from this, the robot took the opportunity to stomp on me me again.

“AAARGH, WOULD YOU JUST STOP~!” I screamed. With a sudden succession of blinks my HUD finished its reboot, just in time for me to look up and see the robot lift its hoof once more, preparing to stomp again.

With a sudden green flash, a lance of magical energy impacted against the metal hoof. The robot turned away from me as Crosshair began firing a barrage of magical plasma with pistol he had probably found in another ash pile. A brief stab of jealousy sparked in me. Of course HE would get plasma.

Crosshair ducked around the corner, but didn’t retreat, continuing to fire at the overkill security bot. He was close enough that it couldn’t fire its more deadly energy weapon, but that didn’t stop the death machine from firing its machineguns.

It didn’t so much aim at Crosshair as it did his general direction. The wall Crosshair had vanished behind was being chewed through by the heavy firepower, already I could see holes poking through but no dead zebras. The robot halted its avalanche of fire, turning to me again, as it positioned its hydraulic hooves and prepared to stomp.

*BZZZZZKT!*

The robot’s leg hovered over me briefly, then moved back as the familiar sound of a minigun filled the air.

“FEAR NOT ELDER! I’LL DEAL WITH THIS ROBOTIC MENACE!” Mustang bellowed over the sound of Hailstorm, which he was firing from on top of the machine. He must have sprinted back upstairs, just so he could drop onto the robot. The now handicapped robot was twisting and turning as a relentless barrage of bullets tore into its casing. One of its machine guns exploded, flying off the robot and into a workshop.

“ALERT! ALERT! THIS UNIT IS UNABLE TO DEFEND ITSELF!” Hah, in your face Equestrian robotics! “SELF DESTRUCT PROTOCOLS INITIATED!” Oh, cocknoodles. “T-MINUS TEN SECONDS!” Mustang leapt off the robot, rolling and landing on his hooves again. I was wrapped in Mustang’s magic as he carried me, sprinting as quickly as he could, which was a good thing, because I’m not sure I could have done much running myself at this point.

“SELF DESTRUCT INITIATED! I DIE, SO THAT EQUESTRIA MAY LIVE FREE!” The explosion that followed sent us all flying through the air. It felt like getting punched by a Super Stallion again, only ten times worse, and across my entire body. I was deeply grateful to the ponies that designed this armor, excluding the lack of horn armor of course. We skittered and bounced to a halt in the center of the hallway, my suit sparking and rent in places.

For a little bit, we all just lay where we were, groaning or cursing gently under our breaths, or, in my case, just breathing. After a while of this, we finally attempted to pick ourselves up. I couldn't, of course. My suit was such a wreck that I couldn't do much more than wiggle about helplessly.

“Well... that could have gone better.” Mustang joked, giving us an amused grin.

From the ground, I sighed. “Mustang, Crosshair. Go back to the PipBuck technician’s office an-” I was cut off mid-sentence.

“Elder, we’re not going back for a bloody PIPBUCK!” Crosshair exploded.

I released a frustrated sigh, before explaining. “I need a Pipbuck Technician Master Key or an auto-axe so I can get out of my armor. I'm locked inside right now. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit stuck. Also, I prefer the Master Key, but if you do find an Auto-Axe, bring that with too. My drill might not be enough to get us into certain places.” It took a couple of minutes to describe what a Master Key looked like, they weren't that common after all. Crosshair left to find it, Mustang standing vigil against any would be robo-attackers.

“Mustang. Is my drill okay? I can’t see it at this angle.” Mustang leaned over and unclasped the drill, its comforting weight lifting from me. He examined it or at least put on a show of examining it, but even from my vantage point I could he hadn't a clue. Fortunately, it was within my sight while he fiddled with it, and I could tell it would still work perfectly. Nearly crying in happiness, I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. “It’ll be okay. Hehehah! Whew~! Everything is looking up already!”

Mustang spent the next few minutes examining my saddlebags which had been dented, but would be easily fixed, and my missile launcher which would need to have some light maintenance done to it. I felt my stomach quiver in fear as Crosshair returned an Auto-axe balanced perfectly on his back.

“Alas Elder, I was unable to find the Master Key, so instead I brought the jaws of life.” Crosshair was smiling, this was not a good sign. “I’d ask you to hold still Elder, but you’re already doing that.” Mustang levitated the auto-axe in his telekinesis, the motor sputtered and whined as it was used for the first time in years.

“What should we cut open first?” Mustang asked, whilst testing the auto-axe on a nearby wall.

“Start with the helmet Star Paladin, I imagine our Elder feels incredibly claustrophobic in there.” Mustang nodded, levitating the axe over to me.

“His horn is in the way,” Mustang pointed out.

“Oh well, just cut that off as well.” Wait, WHAT!

“WHAT!” I screamed. “Mustang, don’t listen to him, MUSTANG!” The blade came closer, the whirring blades inching towards me. “MUSTANG STOP! STOP!”

“Oh wait, I have the Master Key here, how silly of me.” Crosshair stated cheerfully, holding up the piece of arcano-tech in one hoof. “Now where do I insert this Elder?” Waves of mixed emotions fought for superiority as I kept opening and closing my mouth.

“I think you broke him, Knight Crosshair.” Mustang muttered, giving me a nudge.

“It goes in the slot on my flank, where the saddlebags were sitting.” I finally managed to croak out. I walked Mustang and Crosshair through the procedure, instructing them how to reboot my armor. There was silence when the moment of truth arrived, my armor jerking with a brief spasm as power began flowing again. The HUD came online again, notifying me of various critical failures and missing equipment. I pulled off the helmet, shaking my head, before I gingerly stepped out of the power armor.

“I feel so... naked...” I mumbled, quickly searching through Mustang’s saddlebag and pulling on a lumpy robe.

“Elder, didn't we have a discussion about going through my saddle-” I cut off Mustang’s baseless concerns.

“We have no time to rest. We must muster and make for Engineering.” I pulled the map out of my saddlebags and quickly worked out that we weren't too far from our goal. I Left my armor and saddlebags behind, carrying nothing but my shotgun and my drill. Mustang tried to carry it for me, but I was adamant, it was MINE!

I’d forgotten how tiring walking was. Crosshair and Mustang were giving me looks when I started to sweat and slow down. The trip to Engineering was thankfully not a long one. The doors were sealed however.

“Mustang, can you do the honor and make us a new door?”

“Of course Elder, please stand back.” Crosshair hoofed over a pair of goggles, Mustang accepted them and went to work on the door. The doorway didn't stand a chance against Mustang, who strained and grunted as he worked. Sparks and pieces of metal went flying in every direction as the scream of tearing metal filled our eardrums. With a final grunt, the door keeled inwards, cut into two diagonal plates. Mustang poked his head inside, taking a glance around the room, before giving us the all clear.

The first thing I noticed was the smell, like old hard cover books I used to find inside old libraries. The source was a pile of old papers next to the skeleton of a pony. The terminal in front of the pony was password protected. I gently levitated the skeleton out of the chair and went to work. The password was eighteen words long, which meant the number of password choices would be fewer. Mustang and Crosshair were busy rifling through the papers beside the terminal, whilst I tried to guess the right password. It definitely began with an A, all I had to do was work out if it had an n or a u next.

“Elder, listen to this.” Mustang cleared his throat. “‘I’m not a technician, I don’t know what I am supposed to do. This place wasn't built to last in the event of balefire bombings. It isn't a real Stable.

Even if I do manage to unlock everything, turn off the security measures, and deactivate the robots, I’ll still die of starvation. There isn't any food except in the breakroom, and that won’t last more than a week, if I ration it out.

Celestia, everything has gone to shit.

How did this happen? I just shoot guns for a living. I didn't want any of this to happen. The worst thing is that I'm so, so lonely.

It’s gotten quiet now. The gunshots and screaming have stopped. And the ponies didn't win. I can hear the robots walking around outside the door, but I sealed it with my override code. Hopefully they don’t have a higher level of authority than I do.

I don’t think I have it in me to starve. I accidentally kept the range’s testing pistol. It still has a couple of rounds in it I never got to shoot. Here’s hoping it’ll be instantaneous.

Celestia and Luna, have mercy on us all...

FUCK FUCK FUCK! They were confetti rounds. What stupid BITCH thought up these things?!’ After that, it just goes on ranting and raving until it gets unintelligible. Also, I think he ate part of one of the pages.” Mustang concluded.

“Well. That sounds appropriately ominous...” Crosshair said.

I unlocked the terminal as Mustang finished reading. A sense of dread filled me as I glanced down at the skeleton and levitated the pistol lying next to it. I checked the magazine, finding there were seven bullets with pink heads sitting inside. I aimed it out into the corridor, before pulling the trigger.

The pistol jerked in my magic, barking like thunder in the confined space. With what I can only say sounded like a party popper the round hit the wall. Instead of a small caliber bullet dent, a cloud of pastel colored confetti fluttered in the air, landing softly. Frowning, I turned to Crosshair.

“I don’t think he died from that.” I said, before shooting him.

He had just enough time to try reeling back before it hit him, detonating anticlimactically as it had done on the wall. Eyes bugged out, he hyperventilated for a moment and then collapsed to his side in relief.

“That was kind of mean.” Mustang said disapprovingly.

“He joked about cutting my horn off.” I said unrepentantly. Mustang lifted his hooves in the air and made a weighing motion, then shrugged his shoulders. Then he smiled and we both had a little laugh, Crosshair even joining in eventually. We laughed for a lot longer than we should have. I think we all were trying not to think of how the pony had eventually perished.

As we settled down, Crosshair stood up. “If you’re done shooting at me for the day, perhaps you can disable the security now?” He asked, suddenly looking a little dour.

“Oh lighten up Crosshair,” I quickly selected the stable security and disabled it. The lights in the room flickered, before powering on fully. “We've got power, and the robots aren't trying to kill us.” I stood up and dusted myself off a bit. “Now lets go inspect the bottom floor. I really want to know what could take up an entire floor of a stable.”

I was swimming in bullets.

The entire bottom floor had been a storage room, boxes and piles of bullets were heaped as far as the eye could see. Well, maybe not that far, but it was a really big room. I mean, millions of rounds. Most were still in their cases, but a large horde had spilled from a few shelves, and in my ecstatic joy I had not been able to help myself. I’d jumped in and waded a few steps before taking a dive.

“HOW! HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!” Crosshair cried in dismay. “This is scientifically impossible! You’re scientifically impossible!”

Coming up for air, I spit a few loose rounds out, like a stream of water. “Where there’s a happiness, there’s a way~!” I called, before going back down for another dunk.

“But...But...” Crosshair stuttered, struggling for words.

“Let him have his fun, Crosshair. He needs it. Especially when he figures out how long it will take to sort just that pile out.”

I suddenly stopped, still submerged in bullets. I hadn't thought of that. Trying to lift myself up, I found I was stuck. “Er... guys... need help.”

Footnote

Inkwell: Level 4

Perk added: Bullet Tester - You find, and use, exotic bullets more efficiently than the average Wastelander. Increased chances to find exotic bullets by 10%, and increased exotic bullet damage by 15%. Careful with the nasty ones!

Crosshair: Level 3

Level progression: 75%

Mustang: Level 3

Perk added: Robot Equalizer - Machines should fear the coming of your hoofsteps. You do an extra 5% damage to higher level robotic enemies and have a 10% higher chance of scoring critical hits, per Combat Level, up to 5 levels. Talk about levelling the playing field!

Author's Notes:

Author’s Note
I'm very pleased with this chapter, it was a lot of fun to write. We had quite a few minor revisions, but ultimately we ended with a better chapter.

Gryphster Editor’s Note: Welp. We whipped this out really fast. Like, just a few days time, really. Ending just shy of 8k words. Crap, when we were about 4k in, I figured we were going to start wrapping things up. xD SHOWS WHAT I KNOW~! Also, that scene with the dead pony. Makes my feels go on superdrive. :’{ All that said, it came out pretty dang good.)