Blue Mare—Gray Manby Sir Hat
Chapters
Escape
Fleur's voice broke over the phone. The opening hours of my shop were always quiet, but I needed to sort things out with Fleur before I could open the doors. "Okay?"
I nodded and looked over out the window of my flower shop the winter streets of Canterlot were slowly stirring, ponies starting to take to the streets and skies. "Tak, yes. I'll take care of it."
"Sixty roses for--"
"I'll take care of it." I pinned the phone between my ear and my shoulder, the cord stretching across the warm interior of the flower shop. "Fleur, I have it written and on the list."
Fleur took a deep breath. "And for--"
"I'll have it made up." I grabbed a pot and flipped the sign to open. "Believe me, I'll have it ready by tonight."
Fleur let out a long groan, followed up by a stout whimper. "Alright. I appreciate it."
I shook my head. "Flowers for a grave, always important." I walked the pot back to the counter, the low rows of plants and pots barely over my hip. "I'll get it to you before you go." A late husband, a shame, boss or not she had my sympathies.
Fleur went quiet. "Okay. Thank you."
I nodded and set the pot down on my counter. "Goodbye." I hung up the phone behind the counter and looked over the plant in the pot. "Roses...always roses." I grabbed a pair of gloves and watched as a few ponies wandered by, some deciding to come inside and look over the floral room.
I grabbed a pair of pruners and went to work collecting a few fine red roses. The beautiful red stood out bright and bold against the white counter. My cuts were a bit odd, but I knew enough to make them decent. I sighed softly as a mare brought a pair of gardening shorts over. "Good morning."
The mare smiled up at me before speaking. "It is."
I moved the pot and looked at the price tag. "Six bits."
The mare carefully levitated over a bag and set down to coins ever so gently. "There you are."
I took the coins and carefully put the shorts into a bag. "Tak, have good day." I rubbed my face. "A, have a good day." My accent peaked in.
The mare nodded gently and walked slowly outside. "You as well, stay warm--"
The mare was cut off as the door flung open. "Get the fuck out of my way!" A stallion with a black jacket stormed in. "Yo!" He thrust a hoof out towards me, a mare with glasses slinking in under him. "I need some flowers for my mare here!"
The blue mare in question shook her head, her mane jostling heavily under its own weight. I watched her walk towards an aisle. I leaned against the counter as the loud stallion walked around the shop. The loud stallion stepped into the middle of the room and looked around, shouting like an ass. "Come on! I need something nice! The most expensive thing you got!"
The blue mare slunk over to the counter, hiding under a large sun hat. I looked down to her, her horn forcing the hat awkwardly onto her head. "Hey...."
I rubbed my mouth and checked on the stallion, watching as he talked to the regular ponies inside. "Hello."
The blue mare sighed heavily and looked up at me, her glasses a glossy purple. "So, what's up?"
I scratched my head and looked over towards the shouting jackass. "A loud stallion with a small dick."
The blue mare laughed raspily. "Oh geez...probably."
I looked down to her. "So, he's not your friend?"
The blue mare sighed loudly, her glasses sliding down her nose. "Doing somepony a favor. I'll probably get him drunk and dump him in a hotel." She looked up at me with a smile. "Hey, can I snag one of those?"
I looked down at my shirt pocket, a cigarette case sitting in my pocket stood out hard. "Hmm, not cigarettes." I reached into the emptied out box and pulled out a cigar. "Mini cigar, I enjoy them more."
The blue mare pulled her glasses down. "Are you kidding? That's cool." She fixed her glasses and looked off towards the stallion.
The loud stallion laughed in a noble mare's face. "Come on babe, I've already got one mare in my herd! You're so much prettier, you could be number one!"
I frowned hard. "Uh, here." I passed the blue mare a cigar. "I think you need it more than I do, yes?
The blue mare just stared out past the aisles. "Thanks." The loud stallion continued to harass my costumers to the blue mare's dismay. "Man, fuck this noise." The mare looked up at me and took the cigar between her lips. She pushed it to the side and turned to the counter. "Is there like, a back door or something I can duck out into?"
I laughed softly. "You're not going to--"
The loud stallion in the jacket walked after a noble mare as she left the shop. "Oh come on! I'm gonna go down on Vinyl fucking Scratch! You know you want to be a part of that!"
I scratched my nose and turned down to the mare. I pointed at her. "DJ?"
The blue mare sighed heavily. "Yea-- wait! You know who I am?" She turned to me with a wide smile.
I nodded. "I listen to your remixes." I smiled at her and looked behind me. "Bad dates...." I scratched my neck. "There's a door to the alley back here." I nudged the door into the storage room open with my foot, the room sitting just behind the counter. "Go quick, it'll drop you off outside in the alley, just head right and you'll hit the street."
Vinyl smiled at me and dipped behind the counter. "Hey...." She peeked her head back into the door, looking up at me from her low position. "So like...here." She levitated out a piece of paper from her saddle bags. "You got like, a pen or something?"
I reached behind me and grabbed a pen off the counter. "Sure."
Vinyl scribbled quickly. While she was doing that I looked at the roses I'd cut and prepared. I grabbed one and turned back to the DJ. "Here, so this will--"
I extended my hand, rose hanging gently. "Pen?"
Vinyl stared at the rose in my hand. "I-- I uh.... Here." She put a signed card between my fingers. "That'll get you into the club." She slowly pulled her head back, hat tipping off as she backed away. "I'm just gonna...take that." She backed out fully into the storeroom. Her magic took hold of the rose, slowly guiding it through the small crack in the door. "Thanks." The door snapped quietly shut, followed by another click on the other side, and a final snap as she zipped outside into the alley.
I looked at the card in my hand as I turned back to face the shop. An address, a signature with the words, let him in, sat heavy on the white card with blue stripes across the back. "Hmm." I ran through the streets I knew, I couldn't recall the building nor the street.
"Hey!" The loud stallion turned in a circle in the center of the shop. "Baby? Vinyl?" He looked to the door. "Yeah, this place does suck."
I smiled at him, watching as he turned his nose up and walked out. "Enjoy your night, ya pussy." I laughed to myself as the quiet returned to my small shop.
A noble stallion with a beard walked up to the counter with a broken bonsai tree. He huffed softly. "I hope you don't let him back in here."
I looked down at the tiny busted plant with a frown. "I'm sorry, you don't have to pay."
The noble shook his head. "It's fine, I'll--"
I took the plant away. "No, no, it's not your fault."
The stallion flinched slightly and put his coin purse away. "Alright, now, what would you suggest like that one?"
I nodded. "One moment." I looked back to the door into the storeroom and peeked in. Everything was fine, in fact there was something added. A small picture with the pen I'd given Vinyl sitting atop it. I stepped inside the wide storage room and over to the picture.
I was going to give this to that prick, but I don't think he'll be needing it.
Under the writing sat a white mare bending over and snuggling a pillow with her tail popped straight upwards. The camera was focused on her directly, with her flanks shifted over to the side, hips obviously wiggling while the picture was taken. She wore her glasses up over her horn, her eyes a bright magenta. I stood there, looking at the picture for a bit. "Hmm...damn." I put the picture into my pocket and found a magically miniaturized oak tree. "Give a rose, get a picture." I laughed softly and rubbed my forehead. "Guess I have to go now."
I walked back into the main room and walked up to the counter. The stallion was waiting quietly with his hooves crossed. "You have something?"
I set the mini oak down and moved the potted rose off the counter. "Needs little water, survivable, a good plant for starters."
The stallion nodded. "I'm not exactly a starter, but I like it." He rubbed his chin. "Aspen? Maybe a fir?"
I nodded. "Pines like the cold, I'll see what we have." I gathered up the cut roses I'd readied for Fleur and grabbed the mini oak. I went back into the store room and set the mini tree down. I reached into my pocket and took out the picture and the card. I held both the roses and the papers from the mare in either hand. "Seems like a fair trade." I set the bundle of roses and and looked back at the picture. Vinyl 's eyes were staring dead at me. She was beautiful. "Hmm, I'll ask." I scratched my head. "Why not, nothing to lose." I went back to work, leaving my body on autopilot as I daydreamed.
I had to get the roses to Fleur by tomorrow, but after that I was free. And perhaps a night away from the earthy smell of plants could do me good.
Rememberance
I stepped out of bed, the previous day had been rather exciting and a good nights sleep left me somewhat energized. I counted back from three as I cleared my eyes. "Three--two--o-- Oh yes...." I rubbed my forehead and looked to my door. A bright yellow note was stuck to my doorknob. "Fleur."
I took a deep breath and took off my sleep clothes. A rather slow change into a new pair of underclothing later and I was headed off to my closet. The smell of cotton balls wafted out as I found my days attire. A pair of dark black pants, white shirt, black coat and black flat cap. I hated the color black, so confining and dour.
I got dressed and donned a pair of gloves before leaving. The world was slowly shifting from autumn to winter, and along the way the weatherponies were dumping as much rain as they could before it would freeze and crack the reservoirs. I hurried down from my bedroom, into my entry to find a bundle of bright white roses and a pair of shoes waited for me.
I took a deep breath and collected myself for the walk. "I hope I don't keep her waiting." I straightened out my shirt, grabbed the roses, bundled together at the base with twine, and stepped into my shoes. I took my keys and set off into the modest rain that was dripping down over Canterlot.
The cold air settled against my nose instantly, each drip hitting the concrete walk way to the street seemed to be rather heavy and batted my hat downward. I held the roses close to my chest, as a soldier would a gun, across my chest with the flowers facing upward, arms cross and gently clutching the delicate plants.
I walked briskly through my street, only the occasional chariot or carriage occupying the main road, and only the working class or early morning ponies out on the sidewalks.
Some looked at me, some simply kept their noses to the ground. Fewer and fewer looked at me as I made my way deeper into Canterlot. Down and down, southward bound I walked towards the graveyard. A pony lost years ago, to no pony's failings.
I kept walking, my shoes clicking loudly as I stepped onto the path outside the graveyard. A high ornate wall with paintings of pegasus and unicorns ran around the massive yard. At the entrance, with a pair of ponies waiting, stood Fleur and one of her servants.
I walked to them slowly. She spotted me and turned, the servant following her with his wing outstretched over her. "Gray, hello."
I nodded once and kept my chin down. "Fleur." I let my accent slip through, too preoccupied on the roses. "Sorry. I brought--"
Fleur shook her head and turned to the entrance of the graveyard. "Don't be sorry. Your genuineness is...it's comforting." She walked along the path into Canterlot Greater Memorial. The carefully laid out pathing stones lead across many graves. Some simple stones laid in the earth, some elaborate statues of ponies rising, some of crosses, door knockers, stars, and pillars. All the same in the end really, but all treated with the same respect.
Fleur and her servant kept ahead of my, leading me deeper and deeper until we passed a small half wall. The last perfectly paved area was laid with stones and candles, and ahead of it stood a giant wall with names carved all over. Fleur walked up to the pale grey wall and pressed her side against it. "Gray, thank you."
I walked up to her as she stopped and tapped a spot with her hoof. "Here?"
Fleur nodded slowly. "Here is fine. Garder, please."
The servant nodded and retracted his wing. "I shall wait near the entrance."
I watched him walk away. Fleur let out a short sigh as I ducked down and laid the roses against the ground before the wall. "I can't believe it's already been three years."
I looked over the names. "And they never came back?"
Fleur shook her head. "Cowards, they tried to come and take what was ours and left in exile and shame." She pressed her head against the wall. "Animals."
The Changeling Invasion had been two years before humanity had arrived, but the effects could still be seen. Every year instead of celebrating a wedding, they mourned the lost. Instead of enjoying the harvest, they gathered in solitude to reflect on those killed. Kicked or torn apart by the changelings in their desperate bid to wrest control during the turmoil had left over two-hundred dead, and many more missing. Fleur's husband was amongst those to die in the aftermath.
I put my hands together over my groin. "I'm sorry for your l--"
"Don't." Fleur closed her eyes. "Don't be. There was nothing you could have done."
I nodded, letting my hat peak down over nose. "Then I am sorry there was nothing I could do."
Fleur sighed and opened her eyes, focused on the wall. "You're here now, I think this is the best you can do."
I lifted my head and fixed my hat. "Perhaps--"
"You know, I always thought we'd have children." She nuzzled the wall. "I told him I wanted to wait."
I stared at the white and pink mare. I kept quiet and stood still. "You could remarry...."
Fleur closed her eyes slowly. "I don't think I will. Perhaps I'll carry from a donor, raise the foals in his memory, but I don't think I could really be very happy with somepony else." She sighed heavily. "Gray...."
"Yes?"
"I need coffee, and something sweet." She turned away from the wall, her eyes jammed shut. It was quite obvious she was holding back tears. "I just need something sweet right now."
I nodded and turned to walk with her as she passed me. "Tak, something good to match the memories."
"Gray."
"Hmm?"
"Don't let it slip by you." She leaned against my leg. "The ponies you love, the people you care about can be taken so easily." She took a deep, rattling breath. "And don't be reckless, there will be ponies waiting for you as well--"
I stooped at the gate out of the memorial. "If I was to die as he did, I think I would be content." I rubbed my chin. "How many did he save?"
Fleur shook her head. "Not himself. Not enough."
Coffee
I walked after Fleur as she hurried through the rainy streets of Canterlot. I had a tray of coffee and a box of pastries resting gently in my hands. It wasn't exactly how I had planned to spend my day, but I couldn't really leave her alone. "Fleur, are you feeling alright?"
Fleur took a deep breath and turned her head to me, keeping her hooves popping along the walkway. "You can drop it off and head home. I don't want to keep you." She turned down a rather wealthy street and looked towards her manor, sitting snugly in a large plot of land. "I'm sure you'd rather not spend all day with me."
I scratched my nose. "I have nothing going on today. If you want to send somepony to help with the shop I--"
"Garder." The servant nodded and pulled his wing away. "Just water?"
I nodded. "Each one just needs enough to wet the soil."
The servant nodded and veered off. "I have keys, don't worry."
I turned back to Fleur as she lead me across a stone walkway towards her home. "He has keys to my shop?"
Fleur nodded slowly. "He has keys to every building I own. Don't worry, he's far too well paid to steal." She walked up to her door and levitated out a key with a black ribbon on the end. "I doubt he would jeopardize his position with petty theft." She slowly opened the door, the long draw of the hinges was agony. The soft patter of the rain slowly bled away as she walked in and set down upon the marble floor. "Do be careful."
I stepped in after her, sloppily stacking the coffee and food in one hand while I hung my hat, and finally my coat on a small rack by the door. "Of course." I looked around the warm marble box. It felt like an opera house, dimly lit but with such bright background that I couldn't help but feel a bit out of place dressed in such dank colors. It was a thing that matched Fleur, ornate and refined, not something for me to judge or try to be.
I made sure the door was closed. The hinges sang again, this time echoing a different tune from the other side of the door. It closed with a loud click that echoed around the entry. I turned back to the inside of the room, Fleur had left me standing alone in the near empty floor. Only a small sitting area to my left broke up the massive white entry. "Fleur?"
"In the hall, first arch on the left."
I walked over, shifting the food into my hands. I hurried into the vaulted hall and took an extremely hard left into a long room with a few tables and chairs set up. "Hmm, dining room?"
Fleur walked in from another door in the right side of the room. "Tea room. Kitchen is across the hall and connected to the dining room."
I scratched my head and walked over to the nearest table. "And that room?" I pointed to the door Fleur had walked out of.
Fleur walked over and took the coffee and box from me, setting them down on the table. "It's a hall." She walked around a couch and carefully stepped up onto a seat. "Tea storage room and a restroom."
I looked to the door she'd just come out of. "...You live a strangely large life."
Fleur looked around the room and took a sip of her coffee. "It's usually more lively here. Even after Fancy's passing." She looked to the door. "Garder handles the staff, and I think he gave them the week off because of the rain."
I found a seat across from her. I sank deep into a low cushy chair, obviously not meant for human stature. My knees rested high up as I sank into the couch. "Hmm, it does seem like the kind of place where a large family would reside. One mare, all this space, odd." I spoke my old language, a bad habit that had got me more than a few stares in the past. "Sorry."
Fleur sighed heavily and swept her tail around to cover her forelegs. "Don't be." She looked over at a window, rain sliding down slowly. The constant patter seemed all the louder over the glass. "Gray, do me a favor?"
I grabbed my coffee from the table and took a drink. My face tightened up as I set the cup back down. "Is it bad? I'm not a fan, but it keeps the fatigue away."
Fleur turned back to me then looked at the cheap pony brand coffee cup in her grip. "Hmm? Oh, oh no it's fine." She took another sip. "You know, if you didn't like coffee you didn't have to stay with me."
I clapped my hands together and pressed my thumbs against the bridge of my nose. "Tak, tak, tak. But then I would feel bad." I looked up at her, putting on the quickest smile I could. "Besides, I have nothing going on."
"No mare?" Fleur set her cup down and flipped open the box of food with her hoof. "No family?"
I licked my lips. "No mare, no girl, just me and the plants." I shook my head. "It works for me."
Fleur looked to the window again, a crescent hanging limply next to her mouth. "By choice, or by inaction?"
I rubbed my cheek. "It simply hasn't been my focus. I'm young, I've...well, not slept around." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I feel as if I--"
Fleur turned to me in a flash. "I've fucked humans. I've let a diamond dog bend me over and ruin me. I've tasted deer seed." I couldn't help but watch her lips as she spoke. Each word came out with a snap, as if they were spat out by a vengeful god with a bone to pick.
I felt my skin flush white hot from my cheeks down to my chest. "Uh...okay?"
Fleur nodded. "It's never been the same. It's a gap I can't fill. Not while Fancy's gone." She laughed softly. "But, not my point. And I can see that you're a bit uncomfortable."
I coughed every so softly and crossed my legs, crushing my erection. "It was rather sudden."
Fleur closed her eyes and nodded. "I suppose I could have been more subtle. You seemed nervous talking about your sex life. I don't really want you to be prancing around the subject."
I put my hands together and interlaced my fingers against my knee. "It's personal, I mean...after that I don't--"
"My point." Fleur sipped her coffee. "Don't feel ashamed or nervous around me. You've got nothing I want, or need-- aside from good company." She smiled at me and nodded. "But I simply wanted to discuss adult matters, and showing my cards felt like the quickest way."
"Uhh, I suppose it was." I laughed and ran my hand through my hair. "But why?"
She turned and looked me over. "Because you're young, you're unmarried, you have a business and I've seen many fall into the same trap." She looked over to the door into the main hall. "Find a mate, procreate, adopt, raise something you can be proud of."
"Ahh." I nodded and picked up a doughnut from the box. "Living vicariously through me?"
Fleur rolled her eyes and looked to me. "If I wanted to fuck plants, I would head out into the Everfree and stand there."
I felt the burning in my chest flatten out. "Wow. You know, I do have hobbies."
"Such as?" Fleur cocked an eyebrow.
"Mares, preferably cute ones. Blades, a good kitchen knife is a gift. And...something I'd really rather not discuss." I pinched the tip of my nose. "Not out of shame, but-- Eh, you know how life is. Some times you need secrets."
Fleur cocked her head. "Really? You'd talk about mares before you talk about your little secret? And here I took you as a quiet person."
I patted my knee. "How long have we known eachother?"
"Nearly a year."
I nodded. "Yet you still know so little of me. But, it's a good thing. It means I'm good at keeping quiet."
Fleur frowned hard. "Is your secret illegal?"
I shook my head. "No, but I separate that from my normal life. One is very loud, would draw a lot of attention. And to be honest, I prefer the quiet on most occasions." I leaned back into the couch. "And are you sure you're not interested? You seem rather interested in my privates."
Fleur adopted a glazed over look and stared me down. "The mongrel was the best, at least physically. Wide tongue, thick cock, his chest was pressed against my back as he breeded me like the horny mare I was." I could see her shiver. "I almost left Canterlot that day. Then I met Fancy, had a reason to stay after that."
I rubbed my cheeks. "Ugh...wow, you seem--"
"He was very gifted." She laughed happily, as if reliving a much less base memory. "Had a bad habit of marking me after he pulled out."
"Fuck me...." I laughed and rubbed my nose. "The grave clear your mind? Feeling better?"
"I always do." Fleur took another drink. "Dropping off the flowers, it helps, it gets it all out at once." She smiled with her eyes closed, her lips half hidden by the coffee cup. "And it is nice to take my mind off such morbid topics. Bring up happier times." She opened her eyes and looked to the window. "That mutt made me happy, Fancy made me happier." She closed her eyes again and nodded. "It was the best year I can recall. Got married seven months after."
I slid my hands over the couch. "Well, I won't judge your mourning. My father used to start fires for his dead friends, so if you want to sit here and talk of sex, I have no complaints."
Fleur turned to me. "Fires?"
I nodded. "Fires. Cars, trees...a cabin in the marshes." I scratched the back of my head. "Eh, if he talked about girls instead I wouldn't have complained."
Fleur took a deep breath. "Gray, can I give you some advice?"
"Okay. Sex advice--"
"Yes and no." Fleur stood up and walked over to the window. "Relationship advice."
"Sure." I cocked my head. "I was going to ask a mare out, not sure if--"
"Who?" Fleur turned to me in a flash. "Who is it?"
"Uh, blue mare. DJ PON-3." I stood up and grabbed another doughnut. "Got invited to her club, was going to ask if she'd like to hang out."
Fleur smiled at me. "I know her, not personally, but I've know mares that fit the bill." She turned back to the window as I walked over. "Hmm. Then I think I'll keep my advice for now." She looked up at me. "Oh, but Gray."
"Tak?"
"Don't try to suck her horn, or try to touch it roughly." She frowned and looked to the window. "The one human I had try to fill the void, he grabbed my horn and started tugging it." She shook her head hard. "It felt like som-- Hmm, how to-- Oh." She turned to me and pointed to my groin. "Imagine someone took your member, fully hard, and bent it in half."
I jolted my head back. "Ow."
"Exactly." Fleur turned back to the window. "Now, if anything a lick will stimulate it, but don't be mean to it. The horn of a unicorn mare is a sensitive thing, not fragile, but should you try to be rough with it you'll end up on the street."
"Hmm, I'll keep it in mind." I turned to look out the window. A nice view of a long open yard between Fleur's house and the next building felt extremely calming. "Any advice for asking?"
Fleur took a deep breath through her nose. "Don't be an ass, but don't be a pussy." She nodded sharply. "The diamond dog was an ass, the deer was a pussy, Fancy was a stallion." She turned to me with a smile. "And Gray."
"Yes?"
"Thank you." She tagged my wrist with the tip of her horn. "I know I've been a bit vulgar, maybe a bit invasive, but it helped to keep spirits high."
I shook my head. "Any time. I can always talk about sex, just not names."
"Out of respect or--"
"Respect, and there are two mares in this town who you might know that I've-- well, not I, but-- Eerr." I rubbed my cheek. "You shared...I'll share." I pointed to the door. "I have an alter ego. Not going to tell you what I do, or the name, but there are mares who've been with me without knowing my real name."
Fleur cocked her head. "An alter ego? Oh how quaint."
"About as quaint as you reminiscing about being slammed by a dog person." I walked back over to the table with the food.
Fleur turned and followed me over. "Does it make you feel weird? Knowing that I have sex? Knowing that I've had rough sex? Sex with a diamond dog?"
I bit into an eclair and nodded. "A little. But you're very cavalier about it considering where we just were."
Fleur sighed heavily. "The sorrow and the pain can stay with the graves." Her face was hard to read, both deep and thought and clear. "Would you rather discuss religion or the next visit?"
"Not really."
"And what other common ground do we have?" Fleur tapped her hoof on the ground. "Sex is universal."
"So is the weather."
Fleur turned to the window. "You're not old enough, and I have no interest to talk about the weather." She shook her head. "Besides, it's absolutely dreadful."
I tapped my foot on the floor. "I don't mind. But I'm sure we could have found something else to talk about."
Fleur leaned her head left and right. "Yes, but I'd really rather see you settle down. And if this is the talk that I have to use to push you, then so be it." Fleur tapped her head. "I do understand the male mind."
I bit my lip. "Well I-- I--" I rubbed my head. "Forget it." I laughed and turned to the door. "I'm going to go. You seem okay on your own."
Fleur nodded and started to walk me out into the hall. "I am, as I said I would be. But I will admit it has been rather fun watching you squirm." She walked at my side and hurried up to the main door. "I do hope you understand though. I'd simply rather you didn't miss out on what I will never have."
"Seems like you're promoting a bastard child." I opened the door and grabbed my things.
Fleur turned her chin up and closed her eyes. "Not at all. But you are the age, and I'm sure you could find somebody, if not a girl of your species."
I shrugged. "Like I said, going to ask the DJ if she's free--"
"Alright. Just find somepony. Your bachelorhood is rather agitating from my view." She waited until I stepped out into the rain and peeked her head out. "I feel like your mother--"
"My mother wouldn't tell me about who she fucked." I waved back at her. "Now go take care of yourself. You're acting a bit odd--"
"Oh I plan to." The door closed slowly. "I plan to."
I laughed gently and started off over the stone path towards home. "Oh man. Well, I do feel better." I rubbed my chest. "Odd, effective but odd." I sighed and flicked water off my hat. It was good to see she wasn't so hung up on his death that she couldn't make conversation, even though she took it to a strange place. I could only assume she was in heat or simply very worried about my singlehood.
"No horn." I scratched my head and fixed my hat. "She could have lead with that."
I Drink
I finished changing out of my black attire, changing out into a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I dropped off my hat and checked my jacket. "Alright, time to dance." I stepped out of the door and locked it. The loud tapping of my dress shoes gave way to a soft sometimes squeaky bop of my sneakers on the damp sidewalk. The smell of clean air drifted lightly by as I walked through the darkening night. The bat ponies slowly replaced the day dwelling nobles, left to trot around in their awkwardly detached way.
I hurried to the end of my street and hit the main road. The soft patter of rain still drizzled down and gave everything a thin glisten. I hummed to myself as I walked through the grid city of Canterlot and into the entertainment district. The bat ponies slowly faded out in lieu of trendy ponies in bright clothes and short manes. The young and the stupid, awake far too late for their own good, lurked around the brightly lit streets as bars and restaurants lit up under the coming night.
I walked amongst the herds of mares looking to get taken down for a night. They giggled like mad and turned to watch me walk. "Hey babe! Come on, hang out, we'll treat you right!" The half cut mares plodded along. They started shouting at thestrals and stallions that were going about normal life. It always struck me as funny, watching the mares look for something to stuff inside themselves. It seemed like a very manly thing to hunt down sex so obviously, but Equestria was a strange enough place already.
I looked along the row of neon buildings and spotted Vinyl's club. I'd been there enough, but it never ceased to amaze me how long the line was. I reached into my pocket and ran my hand over my card. I couldn't use it, but the note Vinyl had given me should have been enough. I walked across the densly pony packed street and up onto the curb outside of Vinyl's club. I dug the note out of my pocket and walked to the bouncer.
An old pony with a thick bushy mane that puffed out into a afro to rival Bob Ross. He looked over at me and shook his head. "Gotta wait in line--"
I looked over to the long line, ponies and a bright silver griffon with glitter powdered over her feathers stood far into the night. "VIP." I passed off the note and watched as the bouncer looked it over.
He grunted and turned it around. "...That's her writing.... Okay, go on in." I took the note back and sidestepped the black maned pony. The ponies in line started yelling and hissing at me while I stepped past them and went into the club. The heavy bass of her style hit me immediatly. I felt my steps change to match the beat as I hurried in and got oriented. The long open floor just beyond a glass wall was packed with ponies, and a single blue maned mare was standing upon a tower on the far end and playing the electric sounds that bounced off every wall.
I slid past the coat check and made my way through the booths. I found an empty place and plopped down. A few ponies in dresses or tight shirts hurried past towards the bar in the corner of the room. I sat and watched as Vinyl raised her hoof and tossed sparks off her booth and into the crowd. The blue embers faded away and the ponies below her cheered loudly. I'd always expect more humans to show up, but it seemed most were slowly weening themselves off electricity and finding comfort in the calm life in Equestria.
Except for me. I was perfectly content listening to the jarringly loud music as Vinyl blasted the building down to its foundations. I took comfort in the undertone and watched as the bright flashes of color zipped through the glassy room. The smell of sweat hung in the air just long enough to be noticable before a rush of cold air came down and left the entire room chilly.
I watched the DJ look out over her crowd, she scanned them, appraised them, and then landed on me. "Alright everypony! I hope you're having a great time! Oh who am I kidding, I know you are!" The ponies yelled back at her and a deep thud sounded from her towers. "Let's switch things up for a little bit and pass this off to DJ-HSS!"
I smiled at the other DJ's name. A few ponies in bright colored paint ran past and towards the floor. Horse Shoe Songs was decent, but he had an absolutely cult following and was known for chirpy music that sent the younger crowd wild. I fixed my jacket and stood up. Another round of paint stained ponies bolted past and left me to sidestep, only barely avoiding a huge glowing slap of pink paint across my lap.
I looked towards the back door into the guts of the club. I'd been there enough to know within five seconds Vinyl would be popping out, grabbing a drink, and either heading over to me or back inside to get wasted. All I could really do was meet her there and see where things went. And so I slogged through the narrow walkway towards the bar, letting the wildlings throw themselves towards the eight-bit DJ slowly rising up and playing his bird songs.
I nodded to the bar tender and smiled at her. "Screwdriver, half the vodka."
The mare smiled and levitated out a drink from under the counter. "Staying sober?"
"As best I can." I laughed and took a seat on one of the awkwardly low stools. I raised it up just enough for it to feel short, but not painfully so. The mare mixed my drink quickly and passed it off. "That'll--"
I flashed her my ID card. "Tab it."
The mare's eyes went wide. "Oh my gosh--"
"Shh. It's a bit of a secret." I laughed and took my drink. "Nobody knows, just keep quiet a little, okay?"
The mare let out a warm squeak and ran off to the other side of the bar. I took a sip of my sour drink and enjoyed the taste of oranges. The mare looked back at me with a wrinkled smile. I nodded at her and watched as she went into a tizzy. I went back to my drink and sipped once more. The vodka burned, but the juice was more than enough to keep me from wincing. It was just enough to send a tiny jolt of warm up into my arms.
"You made it." Vinyl slammed down in the seat next to me in a flash. She bore a bright silver flask on a chain around her neck. She looked into my drink and lifted her glasses. "Oh jeez, is there even alcohol in that?" She snickered to herself.
I lifted it up and looked at the orange concoction. "More than I asked for too."
Vinyl scoffed. "Lightweight--"
"No, just don't really want to be hung over in the morning." I set my drink down and looked Vinyl over. "No costume? No lights? I thought you usually have glow sticks or something."
Vinyl looked down at herself, her glasses fell down against her muzzle. "I guess not.... Forgot em." She laughed and levitated her flask up. "So, glad you made it. Didn't really get a chance to say thanks."
I waved her off. "Giving me that pass was thanks enough." I rubbed my neck and leaned forward. "Needed something to take my mind off earlier anyways."
"Bad day?" Vinyl asked with an oddly sweet tone.
I grumbled. "Person who funded my shop had me come out and escort her to a grave." I polished off my drink and set the glass down. I spun my stool around to face her. "I mean-" I held my hands out "-she's nice. She's got a lot of problems, started talking about fucking a diamond dog and how she liked getting bent over and all that!"
Vinyl laughed softly and cocked her head. "For real? She's trying to get you to mount her dude--"
"But! But then, she's like oh but I could never replace him!" I held my hands up. "I mean, it was putting me on the spot like crazy! I don't even know." I shook my head and turned back around. "...Vinyl are you single? You are, right?"
Vinyl laughed softly and tossed back her flask. "Just straight up about it?"
I smiled to myself and tapped my finger against the glass. "I figured I'd be quick, before some one else got the balls."
Vinyl's laugh rode away on a high pitched sigh. "Okay...well, I am. But you really want this? You know who I am, I think. Party mare-extraordinaire?"
"Tak, of course."
Vinyl reached out and capped my drink with her hoof. "And you think you can keep up?" She teetered my glass about and leaned against the bar. "No offense, but ponies half your age used to drag behind... You--"
I laughed softly. "I'm not that old."
"Twenties?" She smiled at me and flicked her glasses up, she wore such a smug look about her, and I could help but want to take her down right there.
"Give or take around twenty six."
Vinyl smiled wide. "Ponies half your age dragged behind. You really think you can keep pace with me?"
I took my glass from under her hoof and held it out towards the bartender. "Three Elk Blood shooters...double the jager."
Vinyl smiled evilly and bit her lip. "Trying to make a point? Or you trying to get me drunk?"
I swung around and watched as the mare poured the pony cocktail. Jagermeister mixed with some rather sweet pony spirits. "Bit of both I suppose." I took one of the murky drinks and slid it to Vinyl. "Whoever drinks the second first-" I grabbed the last two and put them between us, I took mine and got ready, "-wins."
Vinyl laughed and looked down at the drink. "What even is this? Smells like pine sap and cough syrup."
I popped my eyebrows. "Basically is." I took my drink up. "To bloodshot eyes and broken stomachs."
Vinyl laughed and bopped her glass against mine. "Sure, whatever you said."
We both hammered our drinks back. The burning on my tongue and mouth was immediate, but I managed to keep my eyes open. Vinyl winces and shook her head hard, giving me time to snatch up the second drink and power slam it back. I leaned my head back and let the shotglass rest on my lips. The smell was powerful enough to make me cringe, but it helped distract from the horrid taste of medicine and blended sugar taffy.
Vinyl started coughing and covered her mouth. "Oh dear Celestia...that's death."
I set my glasses upside down and nodded. "So, the answer, yes.... I can keep up." I covered my mouth as my stomach adjusted to its new guest, churning and chugging down as it settled. "I hate those drinks, but they taste so...like--"
"Like pine needles." Vinyl coughed and lifted her glasses up. "Oh wow, are you gonna be alright?"
I shrugged. "Proubabls." I started to feel a bit dizzy. "I'll find a way home."
Vinyl laughed softly. "Hey...so, I don't live too far. And you can chill in the VIP rooms if you wanna wait."
I nodded slowly. "Hey...sure, why not." I steadied myself on the bar and took a deep breath. "But I don't think you answered my question...you still single?"
Vinyl laughed as she wobbled around in her seat. "I guess not."
I scratched my head. "Wait.... Wait...so--"
"Do you wanna lay down?" Vinyl started to snicker and hopped down from her chair. "Come on, go hang out." She offered her side to me. "Hold on, we'll get you out of here."
I stood up and immediately fell against the side of the stool. "Oooh kay." I pushed upright and set my hand on Vinyl's side. "I should...not have...had them doubled!"
Vinyl laughed softly. "Hey, you're fine. Better than I would have been."
"Bitch...." I swore at the ground. "Oh shit...why am I so high up!?" Vinyl helped me to hobble down towards the arch into the back stage. "Help...."
Vinyl laughed softly. "Hey...just hold on." She carried me along into the hall lined with VIP rooms and pressed me against a wall. "So...you wanna stay with me tonight? You--"
"Yeah!" I put my hand up and raised my thumb. "Totally.... You are...you are awesome." I laughed softly and slumped down against the wall. "Aaaaah-ha!" I grabbed my head. "Oh god...I'm so stupid." I snickered softly. "Ugh...Vinyl...I love you!"
Vinyl laughed loudly and covered her mouth. "Oh man, you gotta tell me how to make those shots later."
I nodded. "Vinyl...I would love to go home.... With you." I rubbed my face. "Son of a bitch, I taste death."
Vinyl put her hoof on my head. "We'll get you some rest man, just relax."
I nodded to the wine eye'd mare. "...God you're so pretty.... Did you say yes?"
Vinyl smiled and fixed her glasses. "Just pretty? Not sexy?"
"Both if you want." I rubbed my forehead. "Vinyl...thanks."
She nodded and tussled my head with her hoof. "Sure. Consider it payback for the flower."
"I'll be sure to get you more then." I closed my eyes and leaned back. "I'm just gonna take a nap, be back tomorrow."
Toast
I woke up to a loud springy pop. "Oh fuck!" I flung my arms out and tried to block the blinding light from overhead. "Whau?"
"Toast." Vinyl stormed over and carefully levitated a piece of lightly browned toast against my chest. "Here." She added a small pink tablet atop the toast. "Take that and you'll skip the hangover."
I rubbed my head and looked around. I was in some sort of large beige room, walls decorated with bright posters of the DJ herself. "Oh...where am I?" I grabbed my head and put my free hand against the toast on my chest. "What happened?"
Vinyl shoved my legs back into the couch and hopped up. She had a piece of toast hanging from her mouth as she sat on my shins. "You asked me out-" She chomped down the toast rather quickly, "-you got pretty fucked up. So I brought you here." She raised her hoof up and waved it around the room. "Welcome...to my living room." She pointed to a large black TV hanging on the wall, and a load of record stacks sat against the wall to my right. "I've got an X-Box, I've got a TV, yet I can't freaking figure it out." She huffed and put her hoof against her thigh.
I looked around, a soft thud came from a small stereo in the wall. I could recognize the music, it was from another DJ. It was from me. "Ugh god." I sat upright and took the pill. The toast followed roughly after with a few loud crunches. "Mmh, thank you." I savored the slightly our flavor of the bread and the rich taste of butter. "Would not have been a good time without it."
Vinyl nodded. "Oh trust me, you were like...super fucked." She laughed tiredly. "You've gotta tell me what was really in those shots, because I only had that one and I felt kinda wuuurble."
"Elk...blood." I pulled my legs out from under the white mare's cushy ass and sat right on the couch. "Murky red dark death." I rubbed my temple with my palm and sighed heavily. "Wait...your house." I looked around again. The complete drabness of the room sent a jolt through my already pounding head. "Seems like I thought it would have been more colorful."
Vinyl shook her head slowly. "No.... I always end up hungover in here, so I went with some light colors...." She leaned back into the couch and sighed contently. "No, this is my calm room. My happy place." She smiled softly. "Should see my room if you think this is me normally." She snickered softly and rubbed her eyes. "That place is a mess though."
I hummed softly and looked down at her. "We didn't--"
"Nope." She looked up at me with a smile. "I brought you here, tossed you against the couch, and you knocked out like a busted light."
I grunted. "I may have overdone it last night."
"Powerbombed jaeger and cough syrup." Vinyl closed her eyes. "I'm surprised you're awake right now."
I scratched my head, a few blonde hairs came off as I did. "I said I could keep up. And then...well, I'm sure I was charming as ever."
Vinyl laughed. "You were pretty straight up. Usually most ponies are too scared to ask me."
I nodded. "Most of them are fans, yes?"
Vinyl nodded. "Mostly. I make a rule about not dating other DJs. So, yeah, mostly fans or ponies like that creep I ditched in your shop." She laughed and grew a rather heavy frown. "Dear Celestia I hope he tripped and bashed his teeth on the sidewalk."
"That bad?" I asked as I stood. "And no DJs? I'd think that'd be who you were friends with."
Vinyl lifted her hoof and made an iffy face. "Ehhh, I mean...I'm friends with some DJs, but it'd be weird if I started dating one and we had a show later. We'd bang, then later I'd have to talk some shit about them and it'd get weird.... And yeah"- Vinyl looked up at me, locking eyes, -"that bad." She stayed staring at me for a bit. "Dear Celestia you have pretty eyes....." She sighed softly.
I rubbed my face. "Well, they distract from the rest of this mess." I looked down at myself and laughed. "Thin and pale aren't really the most attractive features, I kno--" I stopped myself and stared straight ahead.
Vinyl grunted loudly. "Mmmhhmm."
I licked the back of my teeth and coughed. "For...humans...." I laughed nervously and leaned back into the couch. "I meant for human...men...." I turned to look at her, she was looking dead ahead, idly chewing her toast with a bored expression across her lips. "Besides, you're not pale, you're just white."
Vinyl leaned towards me. "Go ahead, look at my skin."
I rubbed my head and looked at her as she offered up her chest. "Huh?"
Vinyl smiled at me and puffed her chest out. "Go on, look at my skin. Pale as a ghost!"
I put my hands on her chest and spread her coat. I could barely see, but she had a super milky complexion sitting under her coat. "God, you're just a sheet aren't you?"
"As a ghost my pony, as a ghost." She laughed and nuzzled my hand with her chest. "Having fun there?"
I looked her dead on and smiled. "A little." I slid my hand around her neck and pulled her towards me. I kissed the base of her horn. She let out a small grunt as a few sparks shot off and fizzled against the couch.
Vinyl pulled back and fixed her mane. "Getting brave."
I leaned back into my side of the couch. "Better brave than a pussy."
Vinyl started to snicker. She covered her mouth with a hoof. "No joke."
I looked up to the speaker quietly sending out one of my remixes. "So...you wouldn't date another DJ, but you listen to their music?"
Vinyl cocked her head. She looked over to the speaker and huffed. "Oh, that guy." She shook her head and stood up. "I have this stuff on a loop. Most of it it's fine, but that guy's just a douche." She shook her head hard and walked over to a small radio setup in the corner of the room. "Stupid mutt."
I rubbed my neck. "You don't like DJ COss?"
Vinyl huffed. "He's just a douche! He's a dog person too, so I mean.... I just don't like him." She walked back to me and shook her head. "Music is way too violent too. Too much synth."
I looked at my feet. "Hmm, I don't mind it."
Vinyl shrugged. "Eh.... Diamond Dogs are gross anyways." She shook her head. "Fuzzy little shitbirds."
I felt my heart twist as she spoke about me. "Hmm." I'd take a special drink before going to bed and the next morning I'd be the slick talking DJ dog, and here she was laying down some rather rough words. "I guess."
Vinyl sighed. "I don't know. I heard he's not a bad person, but he's still just a dog." She looked up at me with a smile. "I'm not a pony purist...just for the record."
"Just not a fan of dogs." I rubbed my shoulder.
Vinyl frowned hard and looked down at her hooves. "Hmm, sorry. You a fan of his?"
I sighed and stretched my arm. "There aren't many Equestrian DJs I don't like."
Vinyl's smile peeked back around the corner of her mouth. "Hey... so, I don't know if you remember, but...." She slid off the couch and walked towards the TV set up before us. "I got this box thingy, I haven't even plugged it in yet, figured I'd ask you since you probably know about it." She levitated an X-Box out from the cabinet the TV was sitting on and set it on the floor. "You think you can help me set it up?"
I stood up and walked over. I looked it over and found the cords still bundled and taped to the sides. "Um, I never really had one." I looked at the cords and put the pieces together in my head. "I had a friend in Polska that had one." I found the places to plug it in and set it upright. "Do you even know how to play this?"
Vinyl laughed. "I thought you might, I figured I'd sit in your lap and you'd teach me." I took the cords and looked behind the TV. "Unless you're all bashful and you'd get a boner."
I grunted. "Bashful? I slammed Jager, I asked you honestly if you wanted to go out with me, I don't think I'm bashful." I plugged in the machine and stepped back next to Vinyl. "Now the second thing, I can't make any promises."
Vinyl laughed softly. "See how long you can keep up the brave face before it comes back to bite you." She walked up to the machine and pressed the button to start it. "Hey, so...." She pressed her hoof against my foot. "Doing anything tomorrow? I'm off set and that douchebag D-Dog is gonna be playing so I'll be free all day."
I hummed. "I really can't. I've got work and I'll be out of town." I scratched my arm as the TV came to life, some pony romance show blared from the massive TV. "Oh...are there actually shows on?"
Vinyl scrambled back to the couch and started laughing. "Yeah! Yeah! Just--"
I watched the TV, the show slowly grew worse as the mare on the screen turned away, her tail raised high. "Oh...this isn't--"
"Hey! Yo! Look!" Vinyl tried to pull my attention away from the porn. "Gray man! Come on!"
I laughed softly and watched the awkwardly slow movements as the stallion reached towards the mare's backside. "Hmm, so, TV porn is legal?"
Vinyl stopped her scrounging and walked up next to me. "Yeah...." She sat down next to me. "You're not weirded out?"
I looked down to her. "Vinyl, I might not know you that well on a personal level, but this doesn't surprise me." I pointed to the TV. "This is actually more tame than I thought it would be."
Vinyl shook her head. "I guess. It's really nice though, like normally you'd have to go buy a magazine or go to a strip club. Humans pop up and suddenly I have this porn box! And it's not just porn!" She laughed softly. "Oh man...I do love this thing. Paying for it kinda sucks, but eh...."
I scratched my head. "Do you pay for electricity?"
Vinyl looked up at me with a confused look. "Um, no. I mean for the shows, yeah."
I put my hands in my pockets as the stallion on TV was giving out some sub-par cunnilingus. "Hmm. You ever wonder where you ponies get elec--"
"Dragon powered, magic powered, or pegasus powered. Boiling water, turning magic into power, or wind turbines, mang." Vinyl walked up to the TV and pressed a button. The porn flashed away, replaced with the X-Box dashboard. "Now you gonna help me figure this out or not?"
I shrugged. "Sure, but you need a game for it."
Vinyl pursed her lips. "What?"
"You need a game to put into it." I laughed and rubbed my chin. "Did you not--"
"Whelp." Vinyl stomped her hoof. "You wanna go to the park or something?"
I smiled and shrugged. "We'll go buy you some games. The store has been good to me and I've got some money to spend."
Vinyl grumbled to herself and slapped me ass with her tail. "Fine.... Gotta get something fun though. And not those ponified rip-offs. I've seen them, and they look cheesey as balls."
I reached down and scratched Vinyl's back. "They'll figure it out. Ponies in tech fields is gonna be weird, but DJs are pulling the wagon forward, right?"
Vinyl nodded and stomped her hoof. "Heck yeah! Now, come on let's go pick up some fun!" She turned to face the door. "...Hey so, you're not free tomorrow, what about the next day?"
I scratched my head. "I should be free all day, no work on the Sundays and Fridays."
Vinyl nodded. "You wanna go to a strip club that day?"
I stared at her, my body tensing up slightly at her words. "Hmm, you preforming?"
Vinyl smiled and pulled her glasses from a table by the door. "Smart ass, and that depends. Should bring some paper notes, just in case."
I walked towards her. "Should I pay if you're the one asking for more?"
Vinyl scoffed and flipped her mane. "Oh please, get over yourself."
"I will, whenever you get over it first."
Vinyl whipped her tail. "Gonna get bucked man, just right in the balls." She kicked a leg back. "Bam."
"Oh I'm sure." I walked up and held the door for her. "But yes, it sounds like fun. I'll meet you here whenever I--"
"We'll figure it out later." Vinyl slipped out into the next room. "Now come on, you're human you can help me pick some good stuff from the import shop."