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How to be a Parent

by Mattricole

Chapter 2: The Best Pet Ever

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“Good morning, Angel. How’s mommy’s little baby?” Fluttershy cooed as she nuzzled Angel, who quickly nuzzled her back. “Come on. Let’s make you something to eat,” Fluttershy said as she entered the kitchen.

It was a peaceful Sunday morning at the cottage, a wonderful Sunday where Fluttershy could kick back and relax with all of her furry little friends. Angel especially needed the attention. After all he always was a bit of a momma’s boy.

After preparing Angel’s extravagant salad, Fluttershy sat at her table with a cup of tea, pondering what she was going to have for breakfast.

Pancakes? No, I’m all out of syrup. Maybe some toast? Oh wait. Angel hates it if I make toast before noon on Sundays. It ruins his schedule. Maybe I’ll just have some grilled cheese? Fluttershy sighed as she continued to think of what she wanted for breakfast. She couldn’t really decide on anything today.

“MISS FLUTTERSHY! OPEN THE DOOR!” she heard somepony yell as they slammed their hooves on her door.

“Oh, is that Diamond Tiara?” Fluttershy mumbled as she slowly walked towards her front door. Diamond Tiara would often visit her to play with the animals on Sundays, though ever since she got married her visits all but ceased.

“Uh, isn’t that a bit rude?” she heard somepony, most likely Apple Bloom, ask from behind her door.

Oh, I wonder why she brought Apple Bloom? Fluttershy wondered as she opened the door and found Diamond Tiara glaring at her husband.

“I was not being rude, Apple Bloom! I was simply announcing our prese-Oh, Fluttershy!” Diamond Tiara called out with a smile, causing Fluttershy to giggle.

“Hello, Diamond Tiara. Hello, Apple Bloom,” Fluttershy greeted with a smile.

“Howdy, Miss Fluttershy! How are ya?!” Apple Bloom asked as she waved her hoof around.

“Oh, I’m-”

“She’s fine, Apple Bloom!” Diamond Tiara cut off Fluttershy instantly. “Anyways, Miss Fluttershy, we need your help,” Diamond Tiara said, earning a confused look from Fluttershy.

“Oh? What do you need my help with?” Fluttershy asked with concern.

“Well, we want to teach Scootaloo about responsibility, right?” Diamond Tiara asked, earning a confused nod from Fluttershy. “So I figured we could get her a pet!”

“Oh my,” Fluttershy mumbled in shock. “Y-you sure she’s ready for that kind of responsibility?” she asked, causing Diamond Tiara to laugh.

“Of course she is! She is my daughter after all.”

“Ya mean ‘our’ daughter, right?” Apple Bloom asked, fixing Diamond Tiara with a glare.

“Whatever,” Diamond Tiara said with a shrug and turned back to Fluttershy. “So show us what pets you have, preferably something low maintenance.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Fluttershy mumbled as she walked out of her house and led the two fillies to her backyard. “Let’s see...something low maintenance?” Fluttershy asked herself as she looked around. Maybe I should offer them a goldfish?

“Ah found something!” Apple Bloom shouted as she raced away, earning a glare from Diamond Tiara.

“Apple Bloom, where are yo-”

“Let’s get her this cricket!” Apple Bloom shouted as she held her hoof up, showing off the disgusting bug.

“...No,” Diamond Tiara said as she turned her back on Apple Bloom.

“Why not? It’s low maintenance like ya wanted,” Apple Bloom said as she continued looking at the cricket, admiring its strangely shaped legs.

“Um, excuse me, but-”

“We are not getting Scootaloo a disgusting cricket!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she looked at the ducks, and walked away with a snort. It was then that she spotted what she believed to be the perfect pet, and grinned as she happily picked it up. “How about this?!” she asked, showing off the perfect pet for Scootaloo.

“Um, I’m sorry, Diamond, but-”

“Uh, darling, that’s a rock,” Apple Bloom said slowly, unsure if her wife just went crazy.

“Exactly! There’s no way she could kill this!” Diamond Tiara said with a smile.

“K-kill?!” Fluttershy squee’d, panting heavily as panic started taking over. Calm down, Fluttershy! Remember Twilight’s breathing exercises!

“Well, ah guess that’s true,” Apple Bloom muttered as she walked up to Diamond Tiara to admire the rock. “But...it’s a bland rock, ya think she’ll like it?”

“Hmm, maybe we could paint it to look like Rainbow Dash?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!” Apple Bloom said as she nodded her head in excitement. “Ya think it’ll be good enough to trick her though?”

“Hmm, we can hope,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she looked at Fluttershy. “Thanks, Miss Fluttershy! We’ll take good care of this rock for you!” she called out. The two fillies quickly leaving a panic-induced Fluttershy as they rushed to the nearest paint store.


“Mom; Dad, I’m home!” Scootaloo called out as she threw her stuff on the floor and yawned. Ugh, school sucks, maybe I’ll pretend to be sick tomorrow.

“Scootaloo, come into the kitchen for a minute!” Diamond Tiara called out.

“Coming, Mom!” Scootaloo yelled as she rushed into the kitchen and found her parents sitting at the table. “What’d you guys need?” Scootaloo asked as she took a seat next to her father.

“Well, Scoots-”

“Your father and I decided to get you a pet!” Diamond Tiara said with a smile, earning a glare from Apple Bloom and a smile from Scootaloo.

“A pet?! Awesome, what is it?!” Scootaloo asked as she jumped up and down her seat. “Is it a manticore?! A timberwolf? Ooh, is it a-”

“SURPRISE!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she put a smooth rock, painted to look like Rainbow Dash on the table in front of Scootaloo. “It’s your very own pet rock!”

“...” For several minutes Scootaloo simply stared at the rock in shock. “It’s...it’s…” she mumbled as she picked up the rock delicately, drool dripping out of her mouth. “This is amazing!” Scootaloo gasped as she gently petted the rock. “I-is this really mine?” Scootaloo asked, receiving a smile from both her parents.

“Eeyup!” Apple Bloom said as she patted Scootaloo on the head. “Take good care of...her?”

“I will!” Scootaloo said as she gently nuzzled her pet rock. “Thanks Mom; Thanks, Dad!” Scootaloo shouted as she quickly rushed upstairs.

Smiling as she watched her daughter run upstairs, Diamond Tiara turned to Apple Bloom and sighed.

“I-I can’t believe that worked,” she muttered, her smile disappearing from her face. “Do you think we should get her checked?”

“Ya worry too much, Diamond. Ah’m sure she’s fine,” Apple Bloom dismissed with a shrug. “Ah’m sure she’s just going through a phase.”

“I guess,” Diamond Tiara muttered, still worried about her daughter. I hope you’re right, Apple Bloom. Dear Celestia, I hope you’re right.

Next Chapter: Family Estimated time remaining: 9 Minutes
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