After a quick shower and a change of clothes, you begin gathering your things.

Magical wristwatch, smoke bombs, flashlight, hiking jacket, flask topped off from your secret stash, teleportation gem— wait, would the gem even be useful? It's got a max range of a couple of miles at most, so it's not gonna get you home from the moon. Eh, fuck it, you toss it in your pocket anyway.

And finally, from the depths of your closet... your custom made Louisville Slugger.

You heft the weapon and stare at it with fondness. Ah, memories. You haven't had to pull this out for a while, even though your life has become crazier and crazier since that day Luna drew you into her dream and captured your heart. Even though it was never effective at scaring off Flutterbutter and the others, maybe it’ll finally get some real use for once. You give it a few test swings. Perfect balance... much better than that tree limb you had to use earlier today. Hopefully next time you'll be able to hit Evil Moon Horse hard enough to snap her stupid horn right off.

You tie a rope to the handle and near the middle of the bat so you can sling it across your back. It's not like you want to have this thing in your hands the entire time you're running around up there. Not the most elegant solution, as Squiggletail would say, but good enough for now.

That should be it. You head to the front door and open it, but find yourself lingering in the doorway for a while. This little house has been good to you... and this might be the last time you ever see it…

Shaking your head, you cast away those morbid thoughts, close the door and lock it. Yeah, you'll be back.

On the way back your fellow members of Moon Strike Force Alpha appear in the distance coming from different directions. You can see Applejack and Fluttershy sporting a set of saddlebags while Rainbow has her flight goggles. As the three near one another, they all gasp and quickly close the distance, yelling the same thing in unison:

“Where did you get that pendant?!”

You get closer and sure enough, each one is wearing a beautiful pendant similar to the others. Rainbow has her ruby one from this morning, Applejack's is inlaid with a brilliant sapphire, and Fluttershy's is some sort of deep onyx.

Rainbow shoots you a death glare. “So, Anon... you got some gifts for all your marefriends, huh? Was it buy two get one free at the jewelry store or something?”

“Rainbow, I told you this morning that I don't know where that thing came from.” You reach down and tweak one of her ears and she lets a giggle slip before jumping away from you and resuming her angry stare. “You have those ears, you should try using 'em sometime.”

Applejack scratches her head. “Ah found mine on my dresser after the whole fiasco with my Nightmare. Ah've been meanin' ta track down the owner but just haven't had the time, and it's right pretty...”

“That's great and all, but why are you guys wearing these now? I don't think Nightmare Moon really cares how good you look.”

Rainbow blushes. “You think I look good...?”

“Ah can't rightly explain it,” Applejack says, tapping the jewel with her hoof, “but ah feel like ah should be wearin' this thing right now. Ah know that don't make much sense, but that's just the way it is. It's like it was callin' to me from the back of my mind.”

Fluttershy smiles. “I think I might know. They look so similar to one another. Princess Luna gave mine to me, and it has a secret!”

She takes a few steps away from you and closes her eyes. The onyx jewel of her pendant shines and a flash of light travels down the length of her body…

“W-What in tarnation?!”

“That. Is. So. AWESOME~!”

The two other mares run up and examine Fluttershy who's now sporting her impressive looking Knight of the Moon armor, and she flutters her wings with happiness.

“That's not all, though. It can also do this...” The armor-clad pegasus proceeds to walk into your shadow, where she completely vanishes. You feel a buttery hoof begin to caress your thigh and you jump to the side, revealing her again when your shadow moves.

Rainbow Dash excitedly circles Fluttershy in the air. “You've got to tell me how to make it work! Maybe mine can do it too! C'mon, tell me, how do you do the armor thing?!”

Fluttershy turns to you and her cheeks take on a rosy shade. She tilts her head down and scuffs the ground with a hoof. “When she gave me my pendant, Princess Luna said that if I ever needed this armor, all I needed to do was to think about my most precious somepony... the pony who I want to protect more than anything in the whole world... and the jewel would listen...”

Rainbow's jaw hangs open and her wings involuntarily shoot out and retract. She takes a few steps back and looks away.

You turn to Applejack and find that she's looking right at you with a gentle smile. Her sapphire pendant begins to shine and in a flash she's covered by a much sturdier version of the Knight of the Moon armor to better match her build.

“Lands sakes! This is amazin'!” the overjoyed earth pony exclaims, twirling around a few times to get a better look.

Rainbow sits on her haunches with her ears folded back as she watches the others, nervously tapping her front hooves together. “Well c'mon, what're ya waitin' for?” Applejack asks when she notices Rainbow’s hesitation.

“But it's embarrassing!” Dash whines.

“Oh fer cryin' out loud...” Applejack trots over to the oddly skittish Rainbow and turns her head toward you with a nudge of her hoof. She meets your gaze for several moments, her poor cheeks blazing, and with a flash an incredibly streamlined and aerodynamic-looking version of the the Knight of the Moon armor is covering her body.

“Whoa~!” She immediately takes to the air and flies around, testing the effect of the armor on her airspeed. “Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh this is awesome! We're gonna kick Nightmare Moon's flank SO HARD with these~!”

The three ponies crowd around and start chatting with one another about their armor, leaving you to your thoughts.

And boy do you have some thoughts. Luna's been passing out powerful magical armor that's activated by, for lack of a better term, LOVE to the ponies who're most infatuated with you. Fluttershy's one thing, but AJ and Rainbow too...? Fucking Moon Horse... she's shown in the past that she's like some kind of crazy chessmaster who can see twenty moves ahead while at the same time appearing like she's just going with the flow. Now you know that her choice of you, Rainbow, AJ and Flutters for this moon mission thing was no mere random selection at all.

“Luna... just what in the hell have you been plotting?” you mutter under your breath.

It's about time the two of you had a little talk about all this, and you're gonna get some goddamn answers. You whistle to get the attention of the little ponies.

“C'mon, we shouldn't keep the others waiting.”

The three close around you in a delta formation at the sound of your voice, all smiles. Rainbow especially is digging her new getup. Their happiness is a bit infectious and you find yourself smiling too as you head down the road.

But your smile quickly fades as you reach the others. Nurse Redheart and some of the staff from the Ponyville Hospital are all crowding around Luna while Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie nervously stand off to the side. You rush forward to the scene as fast as you can.

“What happened?”

Redheart turns to you with a worried expression. “Twilight called me over here to check on the Princess' injuries, but when I arrived she had already fallen into a coma. We don't have the expertise at the hospital to deal with an alicorn... we need to get her to Canterlot right away!”

You kneel down next to the injured mare. She looks so delicate now... she's sweating and appears to be in the throes of a nightmare.

“Don't worry Anon,” Twilight says as she moves beside you. “I've already asked the mayor to use her authority to charter the next train to Canterlot exclusively for us. I'm sure the royal physicians there will know exactly what to do...”

“Luna...”

You whisper her name softly as you gently stroke her mane. If only you’d said more to her when you had a chance… if only you could do something more to help.

Redhart trots to your side. “Mr. Anonymous, we need to move her to the station and I'm afraid to use magic on her in this state. Do you think you could...?”

“Yeah, don't worry.”

With the utmost care you gingerly pick the now somewhat smaller alicorn up and cradle her in your arms, careful to avoid making contact with the worst of her burns. You turn down the road toward the station and the rest of the ponies follow. Seeing her like this has really shaken you. Like the moon itself, you sort of saw her as an unchangeable constant; something that would always be there. But now...

You shake your head. No, you need to stay focused for both her and the others. Without Luna's leadership you guys'll have to plan and execute this whole moon mission on your own. Worrying won't make that any easier for anyone.

You sigh and whisper into her ear as you walk, “I guess you want to hold on to your secrets for a little while longer, huh?”

Her pained expression becomes slightly more peaceful when she hears your voice.

You close the curtains to your private balcony and flop back on the bed. It's becoming difficult to tell the passage of time with the sun stuck directly overhead. Is it supposed to be day now? Night? Who knows? A glance at your watch reveals that about 7 hours have passed since you arrived in Canterlot, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

You managed to get some sleep at least. Twilight's orders. The little unicorn's really stepped up to the plate; she's been coordinating everything from the moment you got here.

There's a knock on the door, and you hop up and answer it to find a guardspony on the other side. “Sir Anonymous? Director Sparkle has requested your presence at the staging area,” he says.

Looks like it's go time. You grab your bat and jacket and step into the hall.

“Lead the way.”

The guard takes you through the winding corridors of Canterlot Castle to the Princess' private gardens where the Elements and several important-looking unicorns are waiting for you.

Rainbow, Fluttershy and AJ perk up when they see you. They've got their pendants on in addition to some stylish scarves secured around their necks with large brooches set with a strange type of gem, and you also notice each pony's scarf matches the color of their pendant as you smile at them.

“This is Rarity's work, I take it?” you ask as you approach.

A pale blue aura levitates another brooch and pins it to your jacket. “Indeed it is, darling. The gem will cast a soft light in total darkness that will allow you to see where you're going when you get there. I understand it can be quite dark on the dark side of the moon, after all. Also, I simply can't permit you four to save the world without looking fabulous while doing so. Surely you understand.”

Her precise fidgeting to make sure the brooch looks perfect on you draws out a chuckle.

“Whatever you say. Thanks, Rarity.”

You begin to walk over to where Twilight and the rest of the girls are waiting when a pink pony bounds in front of you sporting a big smile.

“Let me guess... you've been up to something too, huh?”

Pinkie shrugs. “Ehhhhh, not really, just helping the kitchen staff with a little baking. I need to leave for Ponyville to get the party ready so I won't be staying here for long. All those supplies we bought are gonna come in handy~!”

Party? Yeah, better not ask...

“Hey Non-non, can I talk to you about something?” Pinkie asks, a certain look in her eyes telling you her question’s probably important. You glance over at where Twilight’s talking with the other unicorns. She looks hella stressed out and is motioning you over.

“Yeah, as long as it's quick.”

Pinkie's ears fold back. “Okie-dokie. But I want you to listen to this and take it to heart, okay?” She rears up and taps a hoof on your chest.

“You got it.”

“I have like a gazillion friends that I care about,” she begins. “I'm best friends with lots of ponies. I'm super duper best friends with Twilight and the others. But I'm super duper looper wooper best friends with Fluttershy. She talks to me about lots of stuff... stuff she can't tell Rarity because it'll just get out as gossip. But she can always trust her Auntie Pinkie Pie to keep a secret! So she tells me things. I can't tell you what specifically cause they're secrets... but they're important things. And because I know these things, I can tell you...”

She looks you dead in the eyes with probably the most heartfelt and sincere expression you've ever seen from her.

“…That no matter what happens. No matter how bad it gets. No matter how lost and alone you feel... she will always, always, always, always be there for you, Non-non.”

The pink hoof taps your chest again. “This never lies. Just remember that, okay?” she says as she hops down.

You place your hand where her hoof was and you feel your own heartbeat. “I will.”

Pinkie winks at you. “Give Black Snooty one for me, will ya? Oh, and try to wrap things up soon. I want to start the party at around 7pm. Good luck!” She bounds away down a nearby side corridor before you can answer.

Yeah, that's Pinkie being Pinkie you guess. You take a deep breath and continue over to the others.

Looks like Rainbow's busy doing loops in the air while looking backwards and trying to judge how cool she looks with her scarf. Twilight's speaking with some old looking unicorns, Fluttershy's off to the side, and Applejack... hey, where'd she go?

Without warning you feel the fingers of your right hand running through a golden, silky mane. You turn and see the orange earth pony trotting by your side, sapphire scarf flowing as she moves, with your hand resting on the top of her head. You take the hint and scratch a few times, and two pony ears flick with delight.

“What, no hat?” you ask, reluctantly allowing your hand to leave her mane.

“Ah left it with Applebloom. She's gettin' ta be that age... it was about time ta pass it on anyway, and Pa, bless his soul, he'd never forgive me if ah got it lost somewhere up there on the moon...”

She moves closer to you so that your leg brushes her side with each step. You can feel the weight of what just went unsaid and you bring your hand to her far side to pat her reassuringly.

“I bet she was overjoyed to get it.”

The pony chuckles. “Ya got that right. But ah think Mac was even more proud. Ta see the look on his face... it was worth it, Anon. He loves that little filly more than words can say. We both do.”

“Well, when we get back we should all have dinner together and give her a chance to show it off. What do you think?”

Applejack smiles, then playfully bumps your leg, causing you to stagger a bit. “Ah'd like that, but don't think ah don't recognize an excuse ta get a free Apple family meal outta me when ah see one!” she laughs.

“But you're the reason I'm so addicted to them in the first place!”

The earth pony runs ahead of you, turns, and gives you a sly grin and a wink. “Oh, ah know, sugarcube. Ah know~” She canters off to go lasso Dash before she starts performing a full blown stunt routine for the ponies who've started paying attention to her aerial antics.

You shake your head. Looks like Luna's not the only mastermind around here. Speaking of whom...

Fluttershy perks up as you approach her. She hides her smile behind her onyx-colored scarf.

“Any word on Luna?” you ask.

She shakes her head. “No. The doctors all say her condition is stable, but she won't wake up. They've treated her wounds as best they can, but there's not much else that can be done...”

You cross your arms and sigh. “I guess we're really on our own this time, huh?”

“Anon!” Twilight comes running over, prompting a squeak from Fluttershy. Man, her mane's a disaster and even the brush a worried-looking Rarity's constantly levitating to try and fix it isn't helping. “You're finally here! Everything's ready, and according to my timetable we need to start the mission in approximately four minutes. I'll need you and the others to come stand over here in the marked area.”

You and Fluttershy both follow Twilight to an open area containing what looks like a gigantic arcane ritual circle that's been painted on top of the grass. She motions the two of you to stand in the middle, which you do, though Fluttershy is a little hesitant.

Applejack proudly trots over to you with a hogtied Cyan Pone on her back. “Darn it AJ, I said two more minutes! Just two!” the pegasus protests.

With a flick of her tail, Rainbow's deposited on the grass and the rope comes undone. “Now, now, ah've known ya long enough ta know when it comes ta showin' off, yer two minutes is our fifteen. Considerin' all the stress Twi's under ah don't wanna keep her waitin',” Applejack says with a chuckle.

Twilight nods and Rarity huffs in annoyance as her attempts to fix Twilight's mane are interrupted by the motion. “I appreciate it. Before we begin I've allotted 2 minutes and 43 seconds for a brief overview of your objectives. Please hold your questions until the end.”

The four of you nod in understanding. Twilight magics over a portable easel with various charts and pictures. Is... is this some kind of pony powerpoint presentation? She levitates a pointer to the board, drawing your attention to the first item as she begins her speech.

“The basic plan is exactly what Luna originally proposed. The four of you will travel to the moon, infiltrate Princess Luna's old palace, and locate and confront Nightmare Moon. During this time, I'll be monitoring the level of her magical control over the moon from Canterlot. As soon as her control is interrupted, our specialized unicorn guard contingent and the instructors and advanced students of magic from the university, along with myself, will begin a ritual spell to rotate the moon, exposing the palace to sunlight and destroying Nightmare Moon for good.”

She flips a few more pages on her easel, revealing crude drawings of the four of you. “Now, as for your roles: at first I didn't really understand the Princess' reasoning for choosing the four of you in particular aside from Anon—”

“Hey!” A flank-slap from AJ's tail quiets Rainbow's outburst.

“—but the fact that she provided you with extremely powerful enchanted armor goes a long way toward explaining it.” She trots in place for a bit with excitement. “Oh, if only I had more time to study that armor! The design appears similar to a pre-classical style found in the Crystal Empire and—”

“AHEM!” Rarity's polite cough causes Twilight to snap out of her spergfest, her ears folding back in embarrassment.

“R-Right. Anyway, the magic within the armor will greatly increase your overall combat effectiveness and survivability, but there seems to be a limitation on how much you can use it. I didn't have time to figure out the details, so be careful.”

The three ponies glance at each other with a mild look of worry.

“As for you, Anon...” Twilight trots up to you, levitating something with her magic. “I know you don't have any armor, nor any real combat experience, so Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Fluttershy will mainly act to protect you as the four of you move throughout the palace. Keep in mind that your job is very important to the success of the mission! Should Nightmare Moon try to use her ember magic on the others, you have to disrupt her spell at any cost...”

She moves the item held by her magic forward and you take it in your hand.

“My flashlight!” you exclaim. “I've been looking for this since I got here...”

Twilight stops you when you move to test it. “Careful! I've enchanted it with a spell to project pure sunlight instead of artificial light, which will be extremely harmful to Nightmare Moon, but the magic will drain the battery after only three seconds of sustained use. It's a last resort, so only use it when you really, really need to.”

You safely pocket the flashlight. Damn, you'll definitely keep that in mind...

She steps back to address all of you. “If the Princess put her faith in you there's a good probability you'll succeed, but since you're all my friends, I KNOW you will! Don't forget that we'll all be supporting you.”

A unicorn stallion whispers something into Twilight's ear.

“We're ready to begin,” she says, the seriousness in her voice palpable. “Please stand as close together as possible in the center of the circle.”

You all bunch up together as various unicorns standing at the perimeter of the circle begin to charge their horns.

“This teleport spell isn't gonna hurt, is it?” you nervously ask.

Twilight giggles. “Don't be silly, Anon! I can't possibly teleport you to the moon. The distance is too great. Only one of the Princesses would be able to do something like that.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Uh... doesn't this whole thing hinge on us getting there?”

“Of course! But since we can't teleport you, we'll be using an alternative method. A variation of the banishment spell Princess Celestia originally used to seal Nightmare Moon that should take you straight there!”

...Banishment?

“Uh... Twi? Ah'm floatin' here.”

You look down at your feet. Yep, the four of you are now floating just above the ground.

“Your courage is an inspiration,” a random stallion says as he salutes you.

“...What?”

It begins before you get an answer, as the four of you suddenly accelerate into the sky at an incredible speed.

This isn't teleportation magic. This isn't teleportation magic at all!

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!”

You're all screaming at the top of your lungs. The three ponies cling to you in absolute terror since you're the biggest thing around. Clouds rush past you and the sky darkens as you begin to tear through Equestria's atmosphere, but through the fear and the screams, one thought repeats in your mind:

When you get back from this you are going to kill Twilight Sparkle.

It's been 8 hours.

You've been sailing through space for 8 hours now.

You're like some kind of bizarre asteroid consisting of 3/4 Ponium and 1/4 Anonium ore. All the screaming got old after a while so you stopped that and settled on casual conversation and games of 20 questions instead, but after you ran out of topics, everyone kind of just decided to do their own thing.

Rainbow's napping. Applejack's stargazing. Fluttershy subtly tries to unzip your fly about once every 10 minutes so she can give you a space blowjob.

Yep, just another normal day for Anon.

But oddly enough, despite it all you feel a strange sense of peace. The constant contact of the ponies clinging to you is reassuring. Sure, you'll all probably die instantly when you collide with the moon, but at least you won't be alone.

You watch Rainbow's steady breathing as she snoozes away on one side of you. You admire Applejack's look of wonder as she turns her head to stare at the countless stars that shine in the darkness. Hell, even the fake look of innocence Fluttershy gives you as you catch her mouth going for your zipper again is a little cute...

There’s lurching sensation as you're pulled into the moon's gravity well. The spell seems to be directing you into an approach orbit for a landing on the far side. Classic Autismo; she really thought of everything. Maybe you'll survive after all!

You wake Rainbow up as you cross the terminator line separating the near side from the far side and travel beyond the reach of the sun's light. But to your surprise, you don't find only darkness waiting for you on the other side...

“Whoa...”

“Tarnation...”

“Oh my...”

The little ponies are awestruck at the sight, and so are you. The brightness of the stars beyond the dark side is astonishing, but what really captures your attention are the eerie pale blue lights that burn throughout a section of the absolutely massive lunar palace below you. The illuminated section is only a small, small portion of the entire palace, but there's no mistaking it: that's where you'll find Nightmare Moon.

The spell begins to decelerate you until you come to a complete stop roughly 10 feet above the lunar surface, after which you're unceremoniously dumped into a pony/human pile on the dusty ground of one of the palace's countless open courtyards.

“Ow...”

“Consarn it, Twi...”

*whimper*

“Eh, knowing Twilight it could've been worse,” you say as you pull yourself to your feet.

The four of you dust yourselves off and examine your surroundings. This section of the palace is completely dark, but the starlight and Rarity's gems allow you to see well enough. You turn and gaze at a grand spire in the distance that shines with strange blue light.

“...That looks like someplace an evil goddess would hang out. What do you guys think?” you ask, pointing at the structure.

Applejack brings a hoof to her chin. “Hmmmm... ah reckon that looks menacin' enough ta start.”

Rainbow shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

“M-Maybe we should check someplace not so scary looking first... um...” Fluttershy spins around a few times looking for something safer, but only evil-looking shadows and dark corridors surround you. “N-Nevermind.”

“Well, let's—”

”MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!”

Evil laughter echoes through the courtyard and instantly the three ponies surround you in a defensive circle. Yes, even Fluttershy, surprisingly enough.

Rainbow stands on her hind hooves and throws a few unbalanced jabs at the air. “C'mon, quit hiding! We're not scared of you!”

The laughter continues. ”Well, well, well... and here I thought I'd be bored while replenishing my magic. What's the matter, my dear, dear subjects? Could you not stand to be away from your beloved Queen for too long? Your devotion is admirable~”

Applejack sneers. “The only thing yer queen of is a buncha moon dust 'n rocks!”

“That's right! The reason we're here is to kick your sorry flank back to whatever hole you crawled out of!” Rainbow declares.

“Um... I think you should just give up and leave Equestria alone forever... if you want to, that is. Alsoyou'rereallyfat. *meep*” Fluttershy yelps as she hides behind your legs. “D-D-Did I say that out loud?!”

Nightmare Moon's playful tone immediately vanishes. ”I see. So you truly wish to die. Very well... if you're so intent on becoming my evening entertainment, you'll find me in the nearby tower. But I warn you, my precious pets can be a bit territorial, so do be careful on the way...” Her laughter fades into the distance until only the stillness and silence of the moon remain.

“I don't like the sound of that...” you mutter as you eye the distant structure.

Rainbow scoffs. “She's just blowing hot air out her plothole. C'mon, the faster we get there the faster this is over!”

The four of you make your way to a grand door that leads to a hall that runs in roughly the direction you need to move in order to reach the spire. You peer down the dark corridor, as far as the light from your gem will allow. Yeah, this looks vaguely familiar. Luna brought you to a section of palace like this once before in a dream. Back then, the palace was illuminated by the sun, and it looked immaculate, yet lonely in the light. This version, though... it's straight out of a fucking horror movie. It feels like something could leap out from the shadows to butcher you at any second.

You move near a set of braziers on either side of the hall and they begin burning with blue flames the moment you step past. You somehow manage to choke down the incredibly girly scream that almost flew out of your mouth, and the three ponies decide to share an impromptu group hug that you're sure wasn't motivated by immense fear at all!

The rest of the braziers lining the corridor behave in a similar fashion, igniting when you get near. You've gotta give Nightmare Moon credit – she's got style. It's all been very Castlevania-esque so far. The four of you bravely continue onward...

...Until the howling starts.

Applejack gulps. “Uh... Shy? Any idea what kinda critter makes that sound?”

Fluttershy trembles a bit and answers, “M-Murderhounds.”

The color drains from Rainbow's face.

“C'mon, that's not a real animal, right?” you ask, holding onto the hope that she’s just joking.

Fluttershy shakes her head. “Um... no, they're real. They're like normal hounds, but they live only to murder things. They're almost extinct because they like murder more than they like rutting, which is strange because the rutting usually involves murder too. I-Instead of saliva they secrete their own blood from their jaws so they have to constantly kill and drink the blood of other creatures to survive.”

You pat the little pegasus on the head. “Wow, that's really informative, Fluttershy. You're very knowledgeable about the bio—WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS UNIVERSE?!”

Two snarling hounds about the size of a great dane emerge from a nearby side passage in response to your outburst. Just like Flutterbutter said, they're drooling blood everywhere and eyeing you with great interest.

Yeah, fuck this.

You toss a smoke bomb, grab on to Yellowquiet, nod to Rainbow and Applejack and take off down the corridor. The murderhounds are wary of the lingering smoke and afraid to follow, so even though they eventually figure out that it's harmless, it buys you enough time to get a decent lead on them, especially with the pegasi speed boost from holding Fluttershy kicking in.

Rainbow flies up beside you as you flee. “Why're we running?! We should fight them!”

“How about we don't and just tell everyone back home we did?!” you yell back, tossing another smoke bomb when you hear the hounds' growling getting uncomfortably close. This time they charge through the smoke without fear. Shit, if you don't do something they're gonna catch up... unless...

“AJ! The torches!”

Applejack's eyes light up in realization. “Ah gotcha, Anon! C'mon, Rainbow!” She pours on the speed and charges ahead of you with a confused Dash following. The farmpony stops in front of one of the now lit braziers much further up the hallway and bucks it, sending the blue flames cascading across the floor. Rainbow does the same with the one on the other side as you pass by, forming a low wall of flame that quickly begins to grow as it consumes the carpeting.

You turn and toss your final smoke bomb ahead of the flame wall. Hopefully this'll work...

Just as you suspected, the murderhounds again charge through the smoke without fear... and right into the magical fire you left behind. They begin to howl in anguish as the three of you reach a door at the end of the hallway and burst through it before the smell of burning fur can reach your nostrils.

You slam the door shut behind you and stop to catch your breath for a few moments, then turn to ask the trembling pegasus in your arms, “D-Do you think they'll still come after us after that?”

She shakes her head. “N-No... they'll probably kill each other because of their injuries. Any perceived weakness among a pack member is an excuse for murder.”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Gee, I wonder why they're endangered?”

AJ trots forward and starts looking around as you set Fluttershy back on her hooves. “Hey y'all, ah think we're nearly there!”

She's right. You're in yet another open courtyard, this one much more massive than the last, with stone paths that cut through the moon's surface and form a cross in the center where the great illuminated spire rises into the starscape.

”YOU WRETCHED FOALS!!”

Nightmare Moon's voice booms across the courtyard. She doesn't sound happy.

”How dare you harm my beloved Patches and Mr Woof Woof! You shall experience unending suffering for this...”

A ring of shadow begins to expand from the tower, blanketing the entire courtyard. The four of you take a cautious step back as Nightmare Moon again fills the silence with laughter.

”Yes, this will be most entertaining... RISE, MY WRAITHS!”

Countless shadow wraiths similar to the beasts Nightmare Moon summoned in Ponyville begin to emerge from the darkness that envelops the ground, and a cacophony of wailing and gnashing of teeth fills the courtyard. You find you're so overcome with fear at the sight that your legs won't move. Twilight and the others had trouble handling about 30 of these things before, and there are more than 500 of them here!

There's nothing but open ground filled with wraiths between you and the tower. There's nowhere to hide and no clever trick is going to save you this time. Another tremor of fear runs through you. What do you do? What CAN you do? You're... you're...

“Applejack, Fluttershy.” You hear Rainbow's voice, oddly calm, rise above the din. She steps in front of you and the other two follow her, almost on instinct.

“We can't run from this one, Anon,” she says, turning back to face you. “But don't worry.”

“'Cause we'll never.” Her ruby pendant shines and the light begins to overtake her.

“Ever.” Fluttershy and Applejack's pendants glow as well as their armor begins to form.

“Ever let them lay a hoof on you.”

She turns back and together the three armored ponies begin to stride toward the mass of wraiths. You think back to what Luna said just before she fell into her coma. She implored you to trust them, and as you watch their tails grow smaller as they step away from you, you realize that you do. You don't know how, but you know they will see you through this.

A few of the monsters leap at Applejack, and in one fluid motion she turns and bucks them as they sail through the air.

But then something curious happens.

The bucked wraiths fly back and collide with more of their peers, but their momentum doesn't slow. They continue to fly like cannonballs through the ranks of shadows, causing a chain reaction of impacts like someone set a bunch of dominoes falling. Wraiths that don't collide with one another are liquefied upon smashing into the ground or the tower. When it's all over, roughly 30 of them have been killed by a single buck.

The wraiths are frozen in shock. You're frozen in shock. Rainbow's jaw is on the ground.

Applejack stares at her armor covered hooves in wonder. “Sweet mother of Celestia... did ah really do that just now?” After pondering for a few moments she casually turns and bucks another one and it happens again.

It keeps happening!

Rainbow dons a wicked grin. In a flash, she takes to the air, then dive-bombs the crowd, stopping just inches from the ground. The air disrupted by her lightning-fast descent acts like a concussion grenade, clearing out a ring of wraiths around her. “SO. AWESOME~!” She laughs with glee and does it again.

Fluttershy turns and bucks a few wraiths in fear as they approach her, but her kicks have far less power behind them than AJ's. She tries to stay behind the two other ponies as they absolutely wreck face.

But despite how much ass the ponies are kicking, more wraiths seem to spill forth from the tower in an unending torrent. Even at the rate they're being killed, there's no way you'll ever be able to make it across the courtyard if this continues. Rainbow and Applejack are starting to show signs of fatigue and you're getting absolutely nowhere...

You're going to need to do something, but what? You gaze at the tower in the distance. If Purplesmart were here she could just teleport you over, but...

Wait a minute. You pat your jacket pocket. It's still there! You reach in and pull out your Teleportation Gem. Looks like this'll come in handy after all! You try to judge the distance between where you are and the tower, and it looks to be about 2500 feet or so away. Rainbow can clear that distance in the air easily with her speed, but Applejack and Fluttershy would have to fight their way through the wraith army which just isn't possible. If you're gonna teleport over there you'll need to take them with you.

You think back to what that crazy chinese shopkeeper pone told you about the gem. It's got a range of about 2 miles. You can port more than one pony with it, but each additional pony taken halves the effective distance. If your guess is right, it should take you far enough if you bring AJ and Flutters along… if that guy wasn't lying out his ass to make a sale, that is.

Still, it's the best chance you've got. You bring your fingers to your mouth and whistle. The three ponies fall back to you, and you get a glimpse of just how tired they are when they get near. Rainbow and AJ are dripping sweat and panting for breath. And Fluttershy...

“Your wing!” you cry when you see the state she’s in.

The yellow pegasus lifts the tattered wing, many of its feathers missing. “One of them managed to get me. It's not broken, but I-I don't think I can fly...”

Okay, that settles it. You're getting out of this NOW.

“Do you know how to use one of these?” you ask Rainbow as you hold out the gem.

She blinks. “No, what is it? Some kinda spell gem?”

“Yeah, it's a teleportation gem. I want to use it to take us to the tower, but we have to mark our destination first. I need you to take this to the tower entrance and place it on the ground there for 10 seconds. It'll glow when it's ready. After that, bring it back to me. Do you understand?”

Rainbow salutes. “You got it, boss!”

You turn to AJ. “You'll have to defend me and Flutters while she's out there. Think you can handle that, farm girl?”

“It'll be easier than gettin' the family together fer a country cookoff! Yeehaw!” She slams the ground with her front hooves, disrupting the balance of the wraiths charging at you and sending them toppling to the ground. You nod to Rainbow and she rockets into the air with the gem in her mouth. You sit down on the ground next to Fluttershy, completely confident that the golden-maned pony before you will keep you safe from harm.

Fluttershy looks at you curiously. “Um... Anon? If you don't mind me asking, how do you always come up with these ideas? They're... they're usually very clever.”

You lean back and think. How DO you come up with these? It just sort of started being necessary after...

You smile, then start laughing. Fluttershy looks somewhat confused, then completely baffled as you reach over and scratch her ears. “Um... um-um A-Anon?!”

“It's... It's because of you, you little butterball! Every single goddamn day you come by with some kind of trap or scheme that I have to weasel my way out of somehow. I guess it's made me resourceful!”

She looks up at you and matches your smile. “It has. It really has, Anon.” Her ears droop a bit. “I'm... I'm sorry I haven't been more help here,” she sniffles. “I know I'm just a burden to the rest of you...”

“I know you'll be there for us when it counts. Pinkie Pie told me as much.”

You notice her eyes widen at your words, but your conversation is interrupted as Rainbow swoops back down. “Okay, it's ready!” she says with a triumphant grin, the gem held in her teeth shimmering. You take it and thank her, then turn to Applejack.

“Okay, time to switch places. AJ, come back here with me and Fluttershy. Rainbow, you protect us while the magic's working, then meet up with us when we get to the other side. Got it?”

They do as you ask. You take a pegaus in one arm, an earth pony in another, and smash the gem underneath your foot. Ten seconds later the magic activates and the three of you find yourselves at the relatively unguarded entrance to the tower. Rainbow arrives not much later, blasting away more wraiths with her landing. You allow yourself a quick victory fist pump at your success, but your enthusiasm quickly fades as you rush into the tower's interior. It's nothing but a hollow building with a gigantic spiral staircase that snakes around the the walls of the circular structure and leads to a chamber at the very top.

While the entire wraith army hasn't realized where you vanished to yet, more and more of them are becoming aware. There's no door on the tower to barricade and they're already starting to swarm in. There's no way the four of you will make it to the top without being overwhelmed!

“Shit...”

AJ and Rainbow are panting with exhaustion. Their armor is marred by dents and scratches and you can tell the fighting is taking a real toll on them. You're not sure if they'll have anything left by the time you get to Nightmare Moon. While you try to figure out what to do next, the two ponies exchange a glance with one another and seem to come to some sort of silent agreement.

“Run along now, sugarcube. You too, Shy.”

“...What?”

Applejack's voice becomes firm. “Ah said git! We'll hold 'em here while y'all climb!”

“What about you?!” you cry, your own voice rising above the sound of the surrounding chaos.

“Ya don't need ta worry about us!” she yells back. “Just worry about handlin' Nightmare Moon, Anon! Ah know... ah KNOW the two of y'all can stop her...”

If they stay here it's suicide. You know it, and by her tone she knows it too.

“No. We're going together. I'm not putting one foot on those stairs without the two of you with us!”

“ANON, JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT, YA HEAR?!” She charges at you and before you know what's happening she's wrapped you in her hooves and pulled you into a tearful kiss. Fluttershy gasps and Rainbow doesn't look back as she fights to stem the tide of wraiths entering the tower.

Two emerald eyes capture your own. “Ah enjoyed every single moment of you in my life, Anon. Every. Single. Moment. Even when ya turned me away time and time again, ah'd still wake up the next mornin' bright and early ta bake ya somethin', all while yearnin' for the time when ah'd see ya silhouetted by the sunlight as ya came ta work each day. Ah wouldn't trade it fer anythin', so don't you dare question what ah'm doin' now.”

She pulls away and charges past Rainbow, smashing into a group of wraiths and freeing the pegasus up to fly next to you for a brief moment. She wraps her hooves around you and pulls you into a surprisingly gentle kiss.

“I'll never forget our dance, Anon. Never, ever, ever.” A few tears roll down her pretty face. “AJ filled me in. I'm... I'm kinda clueless when it comes to this stuff, you know? When you get Luna back, I want you to make her the happiest mare in the world, you got that? I won't forgive you if you don't…” She places one last kiss on your forehead before she flies back to rejoin Applejack.

You helplessly watch as the two ponies move away from you and out of your life forever.

Fluttershy tugs on your pant leg. “Anon...”

No.

No, you refuse to accept it. You don't care what you have to do. You don't care how fucked up things get, you WON'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN!

You wrack your brain for ideas on what to do to convince them to follow you. You trust in them completely. You love them completely. But how can you show it in a way that'll have an impact?!

It comes to you in a flash as you feel Fluttershy pull on you once more. Back in Luna's dream, when Fluttershy and Luna were fighting each other over you... how did it go again? Oh yeah...

“RAINBOW DASH! APPLEJACK!”

Your shout pulls their attention for an instant. And in that moment you...

Neigh.

Snort.

And stomp your foot.

All three ponies freeze. Even the wraiths stop moving. Applejack tries her best to move her jaw to speak.

“A-Anon, d'ya have ANY buckin' clue what yer sayin' ta us here?”

You laugh. “Barely. I sort of know what it means in general. We'll figure out what it means for us when we get back to Equestria.”

The earth pony shakes her head. “Sweet Celestia have mercy. Ah can't believe ah've fallen fer a damn alien monkey in the first place, let alone one as crazy as you. Ah swear...”

Rainbow bursts into a fit of laughter. “But that's one of the reasons I like him so much! He's buckin' hilarious!” AJ joins in with a few giggles of her own.

“Okay, sugarcube. If that's how it's gonna be, ya have my word as the Element of Honesty that we'll be headin' back with ya. And ya'd better believe we're gonna sit down and talk all this out with Luna. All of us. Ah can't guarantee yer safety.”

You return her smile with your own. “I'll take my chances.”

“Take care of him, okay Fluttershy?” Rainbow says, trying to suppress her giggling. “We'll be right behind you, so be sure to save a piece of Nightmare Moon for us!”

The yellow pegasus meekly nods, and with one last shared smile, the four you part ways as you begin your ascent.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash, two best friends and eternal rivals, continue to tear their way through the endless tide of shadow wraiths as they try to charge into the tower.

Rainbow laughs as she shreds a line of wraiths with her wings. “Can you believe him! I just... Hahaha! He's too much!”

Applejack smashes a wraith apart with her tail. “Well, it ain't exactly common, but it ain't like it's never been done before, 'specially when ya start involvin' the royalty. All things considered, ah can think of worse herdmates ta have than you and Princess Luna.”

Rainbow frowns. “Pinkie Pie?”

Applejack nods. “Pinkie Pie.”

Both sigh with relief. Rainbow flips forward and lands a kick on a line of wraiths, obliterating them. “Yeah, we dodged a cannonball on that one I guess.”

“Eeyup,” the earth pony replies as she spins and bucks another line. “Say... ya want ta make this interestin'?”

“How so?”

“We start keepin' count. Whoever has the most kills when this is all over gets first dibs on 'em durin' the celebration.”

Rainbow smirks. “You are so on! Hey... w-what the?!”

The ruby within her pendant begins to glow with a red, hazy light, and in a blinding flash and the speedy pegasus finds her hooves and wings consumed by a deep red fire.

She decides to do the appropriate thing and run around in circles screaming.

“I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm— hey... it doesn't hurt?” She stops and examines her burning wings and hooves. Sure enough, the fire doesn't seem to be causing any harm. “Huh.”

Applejack raises an eyebrow. “Ya alright over there?”

“Yeah, yeah... um...” A sudden realization creeps into her mind. “Heh heh. This is gonna be sweet.” She takes to the air, a blazing trail of fire in her wake, and flies straight through a large portion of wraiths. They howl in agony as the flames begin to burn them down to nothing. Wraiths that survive long enough to flail around end up bumping into their comrades, spreading the fire around. Rainbow pauses in the air, still ignited, and starts to laugh.

“Bwaaaahahaha! Looks like I'm gonna win this one for sure, AJ! The guys that set each other on fire still count as mine!”

“That ain't fair!” the farmpony cries, stomping her hooves in frustration as her sapphire pendant shines. “How come mine doesn't do anythin' like— w-what the hay?!”

Both ponies watch in awe as a nearby comet is pulled from its path through the heavens and redirected to the wraith-filled courtyard. The large ball of ice descends upon the battlefield where it explodes on impact, smashing or freezing solid most of the wraiths not already burning to death.

“Uh... h-how many d'ya reckon that was?” Applejack manages to stammer.

Rainbow's shocked expression is the only reply she can muster.

You can hear and feel the force of a gigantic impact outside, but choose to ignore it and press on as you and Fluttershy climb the tower's spiral staircase as fast as you can. A strange sinking sensation surges through the back of your mind as you reach the landing which marks the halfway point of your ascent, and the two of you stop to catch your breath for a moment.

“Damn... should've saved that gem for this part... fuckin' stairs... you okay, Flutters?”

The little pegasus has her back to you so you can't see her face, but her breathing seems normal at least.

“I've had enough,” you barely hear her mutter over the sound of the battle outside.

“Huh..?”

“I've had enough of your games, Anon,” she repeats. “I'm sick of you ignoring me. I'm sick of you brushing my feelings aside. Even now all you can think about are Applejack and Rainbow Dash...” The trots up to you, a cold look in her eyes. “You'll go back with them... and with Luna... and you'll leave me to wither and die all alone with my animals, won't you, Anon? You'll force me, every single day, to see what I want so badly but can never have...”

“Fluttershy, what's... what's gotten into you? Now isn't the time—”

A hoof flashes forward and smacks you on the face, hard. “Oh yes it is, mister. I've had enough. And if you won't give me what I want after everything I've done for you, I'll just take it. Right here, right now.”

She sits on your chest. You try to push her away but the strength granted by her armor easily overpowers you. Fuck, what the hell, is this really happening?!

You feel a hoof pull down your fly and a nose nudge at your boxers. “Trust me, you'll love this. You'll forget all about them...” she whispers as she slowly trails her tongue across the fabric.

You cringe at the sensation. What’s wrong with her? She's always been a little forceful about this stuff, but she also knew when enough was enough. Hell, some days she'd throw HERSELF in the river outside your house after a failed attempt instead of you having to toss her in there.

This isn’t right… something about this just isn’t right!

No matter what happens. No matter how bad it gets…

Pinkie Pie’s voice finds its way into your thoughts, and you recall the memory of your conversation with her just before you left. Things may look bad now, but the pink pony seemed absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt sincere. You could tell she was speaking from the heart, and you believed every word she said…

So right here, right now, you're gonna bet it all on that belief.

“W-Wait...” you gasp. “Don't you want to know my fetish? It'll be a lot better for both of us if you know what it is...”

Fluttershy turns to face you, an evil glimmer in her eyes. “Oh? You're finally ready to tell me? Fine, mister, what is it?”

“It's... mares seductively sucking on fruit popsicles.”

She raises an eyebrow. “That's it? That's your fetish? That's kind of stupid... how was I supposed to guess something like that anyway?” She puts on a sultry smile. “Sorry, Anon, I don't have any fruit popsicles with me right now, but I can think of something else to suck—”

The rest of her sentence is cut off as your hands close around her neck and apply pressure.

“A-A-non...?”

“Nice try bitch, but Fluttershy never forgets a fetish she's already guessed. Ever.”

The little pony's eyes bulge a bit before rolling back in their sockets as you continue to strangle her. Eventually your hands meet and you're suddenly holding nothing at all as Fluttershy's body vanishes and a dark mist wisps away from the edges of your vision...

You find yourself staring at the ceiling of the tower. You quickly sit up and discover Fluttershy a little further away from you on the landing, eyes closed and whimpering as she dreams.

“Nightmare Moon...” you whisper through clenched teeth, the anger from what just happened washing over you like a wave as you hear the Evil Horse's laughter echo throughout the tower.

”Hmhmhmhm… How unexpected that you recognized my trap. You're perceptive for a mere ape, aren't you? Though I suppose it doesn't matter if you saw through the nightmare or not... little Fluttershy won't be strong enough to escape...”

You quickly scramble over to check if she's alright. Aside from the discomfort she's feeling, her body seems fine, but when you shake her to wake her up she doesn't respond.

”Oh, no no no no~ I'm afraid that won't work, little monkey. Nothing will wake her short of overcoming her nightmare, but as I said before it's impossible for a weakling like her. Why, if you think about it, I'm doing you a favor! She'd just get in the way... you're better off leaving her there and continuing on your own.”

You pick the little pegasus up and cradle her in your arms.

“You're more insane than I figured if you think that's gonna happen.”

”Yes, continue to struggle! It delights me so. For such an odd creature you are most amusing... I look forward to seeing you face to face once more...”

Her laughter fades away, only to be replaced by Fluttershy's cries and whimpers as she trembles in your arms. You can see dried tears around her eyes... if only there was some way to help her...

“C'mon, Fluttershy... whatever she's putting you through, I know you can beat it...”

You touch your forehead to hers in a comforting gesture and suddenly feel the strange sinking sensation in your head again.

The world goes black.

You're standing on the edge of the Everfree forest near sunset. The shadows of the forest seem to cover almost everything, and the chill wind sends tremors through your body. You should go home, Anon…

But then come the distant cries, so familiar, and without a second thought you dive into the forest, seeking the source of the sound.

What awaits you in a nearby clearing is a little butter yellow pegasus laying on her side, a gash from some kind of clawed creature underneath her wing bleeding out as she wails in pain.

You’ve seen this before. You’ve been here before. This isn't a dream at all, this is a memory… this is when you first met Fluttershy!

Her eyes meet yours as you step into the clearing, and you can see the fear and uncertainty behind them. She’s scared to death of you, too frightened now to even make a sound.

You decide to precisely follow the memory of the actions you took that day. Find her discarded first aid kit nearby. Speak to her with a calming voice as you dress the wounds. Gently lift her and carry her back to the town.

She trembles at your touch, but as you take each step to help her, you can feel her fear begin to fade. You exit the forest, gently cradling her in your arms, and she stares at you in wonder, until…

“Anon... Anon, Anon, Anon, Anon, Anon~!”

She clutches you with all her strength as she cries with joy. You blink as you hold her close and...

...The tower reappears around you, and her two pretty cyan eyes lock with your own as she blinks a few tears away.

“Welcome back,” you say with a smile.

“You... you came for me. I knew you would, Anon. I just knew.”

“Do you think you can walk?”

She wiggles her hooves a bit. “Um... I... I don't know...”

“It's okay.”

You resume your ascent of the tower carrying Fluttershy. As a pegasus she hardly weighs anything anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. And it's weird, but she's always very docile and calm when she's in your arms like this, so you don't really mind it.

Her eyes dart back and forth a few times and she fidgets like she's trying to decide whether to say something or not. You continue to climb the tower with her, and after a few moments and several deep breaths, she finds her voice.

“I... um... I’ve been dreaming about that day a lot. I was tending to an injured bear... and I'm not sure why, but something scared him... and he slashed me and ran off. I couldn't move... I couldn't reach my supplies... I couldn't call for help. I thought I was going to die there all alone.”

You begin to scratch her back reassuringly as she speaks. “But then you came, Anon. I'd seen you before, on the farm sometimes, and I was curious about you... but you were so scary I just couldn't say anything. But even though you had never met me before, you treated my wounds, you cared for me... and even though you were so big and scary, you were gentle too.”

She closes her eyes and smiles as a few more tears fall. “I... felt so warm and safe in your arms that day. So overwhelmed that another creature could care so much about me. That... that was the day I fell in love with you, Anon.”

She sniffles and sighs. “I-I know you think I'm weird and annoying. I think that about myself too. I wanted so badly to make you feel as happy and loved as you made me feel that day, so I tried to think of what I could do for you. But the truth is... I'm... I'm useless. I don't have any real talents that can help ponies. I'm a weak flyer, I'm scared of my own shadow, I smell like animals all the time because of my work... it's why aside from my friends, nopony really wants anything to do with me...”

“Fluttershy...”

“B-But,” she continues, “but... there was a time... a time when I was considered a supermodel. A time when ponies liked me for my body. I was wanted... and I thought... I thought maybe if I could give you my body... the one thing that other ponies might want... if I could give it to you, maybe you'd be happy. I knew it was too much to ask you to love me back... but I thought maybe, maybe if I found the right fetish, or the right words... maybe you'd let me share my love with you.”

She turns away to look down over your arm to the bottom of the tower where Rainbow and Applejack are still fighting.

“I realized a while ago that I was just being selfish... trying to force a gift on you that you didn't want. I've come to terms with my feelings. I know no matter what fetish I guess, you'll always say no. But I do it anyway because being near you makes me happy. Seeing your smile makes me happy. Being held like this makes me so, so happy I don't know what to do. And I think... if you're willing to admit it, mister... that sometimes... just sometimes... my guesses make you happy too.” She reaches forward and taps you on the nose with a hoof.

You're floored. You're absolutely floored by all this. All this time, all the harassment, and you never considered why. You never asked... she never told you... you shake your head and laugh. What the hell, Fluttershy! If she keeps talking like this she might actually worm her way into your heart!

“...I guess I'd be lying if I said they didn't,” you reply as you pet her smooth pink mane.

She giggles. “I've wanted to tell you all this for a long time. Pinkie's been encouraging me to say something, but I just never could. I didn't want to get in the way of you and Luna, or your feelings for Applejack or Rainbow Dash either. No matter where it all leads, I'm... I'm glad you got to express how much you care about them by inviting them into your herd. Even though I know you didn't mean it when you invited me during Luna's dream, it was still the happiest day of my life...”

She's goddamn fucking adorable when she's like this. The look she has on her face... it just melts your heart. And it also causes you to say something extremely retarded.

“I don't recall ever uninviting you.”

She bops you in the chest with a hoof. “Don't be mean.”

“I'm serious,” you say, chucking at her antics. “I have no idea what any of this stuff entails, but you’ve made me realize that I like having you as a part of my life, Fluttershy. Sure you're annoying sometimes, but... shit, I dunno. I guess we'll figure it out with Luna when we get back. I'm sure she'll know what to do, and she seems to like you already.”

Fluttershy trembles and lets out a gigantic squee. She hops out of your arms and begins to trot alongside you as you finally reach the end of this goddamn endless staircase.

“So, um... since... since we're on such good terms now... um... do you think maybe you could... tellmeyourfetish?”

You can’t help but laugh. That's your Fluttershy all right. To hell with the consequences...

“It's asses. I guess at this point in my life it's horse asses in particular.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh... I... I can't believe I never guessed that one before. In hindsight it seems so obvious.”

“Yeah, I can't believe it either.”

A short silence lingers before she speaks up again.

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

“I have a horse ass.”

“I know.”

“Would you like to see it?”

“Not until we finish saving the world, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, okay.”

Yep, she gets the smile she wanted out of you from your conversation and you can see it makes her happy.

...Fucking Fluttershy.

Together, the two of you cautiously step through the door at the top of the stairs and you find yourselves on the roof of the grand spire. Nightmare Moon is resting here, surrounded by a black vortex of magic that seems to pull in all the light around it. Slowly, she opens her eyes to regard you and Fluttershy with utter disdain.

“My hounds... my wraiths... my nightmare prison spell... you've overcome them all. How sickeningly persistent of you... but admirable nonetheless. Few go to such lengths to be personally executed by their Queen.”

She stands and the black vortex around her fades, allowing her starry mane and tail expand and billow in the nonexistent lunar wind. “So, here you are. You have my attention. If you have any words for me I will hear them before I eviscerate you both. Understand that I was merely toying with you before... this time you will not survive.”

Fluttershy stands as tall as she can while shaking like a leaf, and you try to do the same though you don't fare much better.

Come to think of it, with all the bullshit you went through to actually get to her, you never really came up with a plan to deal with Nightmare Moon. Or more specifically what little you did plan out involved both AJ and Rainbow who're currently absent.

You finger the flashlight in your pocket. This is your ace in the hole... she won't be expecting it. You quickly throw together Operation: Don't Fucking Die in your head. Okay... let's see what happens. You draw your Slugger from your back and stretch your arms.

“This is your last chance, 'Queen'. Abdicate or be overthrown.” You give the bat a few warm-up swings to get the blood flowing.

“How appropriate... a monkey foolishly waving a stick around at a goddess. Your ignorance can be forgiven since you're just a beast. But what about you, little Fluttershy... surely you know better?”

Fluttershy puts a hoof forward. “Y-Y-You should be ashamed of yourself, missy! Hurting the Princesses and trying to take over the world! You're just a spoiled brat with too much magic!”

Nightmare Moon scowls. “Is that so? You say I should be ashamed when you were the ones who mere moments ago left your friends to die at the hooves of my wraith army? You are in no position to judge me. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I hereby find you guilty of treason against the throne and shall now carry out your punishment as I see fit.”

Her horn begins to glow. Okay, phase 1 of the plan: you pull out your flashlight, aim it straight at Nightmare Moon's face and flick it on. It works just as advertised and the searing sunlight causes the dark alicorn to recoil in absolute pain.

“ARRRRGH! THE SUN?! BUT HOW?!”

You quickly turn the light off again. One second of your three total seconds of battery life is depleted. You have two more shots.

Now for phase 2: you run up to the staggered alicorn and prepare to go for a grand slam...

Yeah, that doesn't go as planned at all. A defensive beat of her massive wings blasts you backwards and rips the bat straight from your grasp. It goes sailing over the edge of the tower to who knows where...

But on the bright side, it seems like the sunlight disables her magic for a time, because once she recovers she grabs you with her mane once more and slams you to the stone floor. Damn, that hurts...

“I won't fall for the same trick twice, ape. But that was very clever of you... a creature without magic that holds a device with the power of the sun. I'm not surprised... while you were under the influence of my nightmare I glimpsed some of your thoughts. The world you come from is... wondrous. I'd very much like to see more. Maybe I'll keep you as a plaything just like little Luna did...”

”THAT'S ENOUGH!”

Fluttershy's scream rips through the air like a shockwave. Nightmare Moon releases you and turns to regard the pegasus, who's now sporting an angry expression that could outright kill a lesser creature.

“You. Do. Not. Touch. Him. Do you understand?”

The alicorn laughs. “What is this parlor trick... some kind of psychological attack? Are you really so naive as to believe something like that would work on mMMMMMMRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!”

What. The. Fuck.

Fluttershy's staring down the evil queen and the onyx gem of her pendant is shining brightly. The very air around Nightmare Moon shifts and wavers. She's forced to her knees and her mane and tail flatten as if an enormous weight has suddenly been piled on her back. Her expression is one of absolute shock and pain.

“G-G-Gravity M-Mani-pulatio-n... h-h-owwww?!”

Yeah, you're definitely gonna integrate this development into your master plan...

Twilight Sparkle's eyes snap open in an instant.

“That's it! Her hold's been broken! Everypony, begin channeling following my lead!”

Countless unicorn horns shine throughout the royal gardens at her command.

And slowly, ever so slowly, the moon begins to turn.

“F-F-ut-ile...”

The alicorn's horn begins to glow and in a flash of magic she's freed. Fluttershy stumbles back from the blast and before she can recover she's coated in a blue aura and slammed to the ground, lifted up, and slammed again. She coughs and a few droplets of blood stain the stone.

“Two can play at that game, you little wretch. It took me a while to recognize it, but that's ancient armor from the order of Lunar Knights. Those who wore it were in love with little Luna, and through that love they drew their power. Though it appears your love for her is weak... and I find it odd that she's switched her interests from stallions to mares. Perhaps you're not the intended bearer...? Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now...”

She moves to smash Fluttershy into the ground again but a sunlight beam to the face stops her, causing her to stumble around, blinded and without magic. Only one shot left.

“CURSE YOU, AAAAPPPPEEEE!!”

“You okay, Flutters?” you ask as you rush over to help her to her hooves.

She coughs again and a few more drops of blood appear. “I... I can still fight. I can still protect you, Anon...” She's shaking.

Fuck... this is bad. You hope to god Twilight's started moving the moon because it doesn't look like you'll survive much longer.

Nightmare Moon shakes her head, her breathing ragged. “That... is becoming... VERY annoying...”

She moves to grab you with her mane again at a speed that's absolutely unreal. There's no way you could dodge it even if you knew it was coming.

But then a huge fireball slams into Evil Moon Horse's side. She screams in pain at the burning sensation and leaps away to channel her magic to put out the flames. You hear the clopping of some hooves landing behind you and turn to find...

“Howdy.”

“'Sup?”

“AJ! Rainbow!”

You scoop Applejack into a bear hug and almost do the same to Rainbow before you notice she's on fire.

“Hey, did you know you're...?”

She gives you a deadpan stare. “I know, Anon.”

“Okay, just asking.”

Nightmare Moon gapes. “You... you should be dead. They left the two of you alone to stand against an army of 3,000 wraiths!”

Applejack flashes her best prideful grin. “Well, ah reckon ya should'a sent 3,001!”

“That was corny as hay, AJ!” Rainbow snickers.

“What?! C'mon, that was good one! Anon, Shy, lend me hoof here!”

“It was, uh... creative?” you offer.

Fluttershy cowers in her mane a bit. “Yes, it was... nice.”

The farmpony rolls her eyes. “Y'all wouldn't know a good one liner if it bit ya on the backside.”

Rainbow laughs. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's wrap this up already so we can go home.”

“Yes, if you're done chatting like a bunch of foals perhaps we can get down to business,” Nightmare Moon fumes. “After all, as a brilliant egomaniacal goddess with unlimited power I DO so love being ignored!”

Her horn shines again and the three ponies collapse. You can clearly see the blazing light on their chests through their armor... this is the ember spell again! Without hesitation you draw your flashlight and fire, and though Nightmare Moon attempts to block the beam with one of her wings the sunlight shreds right through it before hitting her directly in the face and again disrupting her magic.

The ponies recover as the light's battery goes dead, completely exhausted, just like Twilight said it would.

“I... HAVE... HAD... ENOUGH OF THIS!!!!”

You turn to the three ponies by your side. “Uh... guys, if you're gonna do something you'd better do it now. That was my last shot.”

Applejack nods to Rainbow, who takes to the air in a blazing ball of fire. The earth pony's pendant shines as she slams her hooves into the ground. Rainbow flies in a circle around Nightmare Moon, creating a tight wall of magical flames around her that she finds she can't extinguish by merely beating her wings. Fluttershy catches on and begins to focus her stare again, bringing down immense gravitational pressure upon the dark alicorn.

“Currrrsseee youuu…” Nightmare Moon screams in anguish. “W-When... my m-magic returns... I-I-I... willlllll—”

The massive comet that smashes down on top of her and nearly rips that back half of the tower's structure apart prematurely ends her threating speech.

You kneel down and clutch onto whatever you can as the tower violently shakes, and for a moment you fear that the entire thing’s going to tumble down around you. When it's all over, a huge ice fragment clings to the far end of the tower where the alicorn once stood. The structure itself seems to sag under the weight of the comet's remains as large chunks of both ice and stone fall away to the devastated courtyard below.

“Uh... did we just win?” Dash asks as she scratches her mane.

You peer at the wreckage for any signs of life but find none. “Well, I don't want to jinx it but...”

A rumbling from the ice shuts you up.

Applejack sighs. “Ya just had ta say it, didn't ya?”

“Sorry.”

The ice sheet explodes and an extremely pissed off dark alicorn hovers in its place. Lightning arcs from her horn as evil laughter begins to fill the air.

“I'll give you points for style, persistence, creativity and teamwork. Not even Luna put up this good of a fight against me. I have to say, falling back on the old Black Hole, Comet and Meteor armors after the Elements were rendered ineffective was a nice touch. I didn't expect ponies of the modern era to know anything about them, much less how to utilize their power...”

She takes slow, measured steps toward you, not because she has anything to fear, but merely to savor the experience. “And then the ape with his light beam. Very clever. VERY CLEVER. Ponykind is to be commended for assembling such a competent resistance. But in the end, as expected, it was all for NOTHING!”

Her horn ignites and flashes as a spell is cast, and one by one the ponies around you fall asleep. Their armor shines and disappears, leaving only the original pendants behind, and Nightmare Moon gazes upon them almost lovingly.

“I realize now that killing these three would be a waste. Their power, their resolve... as Nightmares they would be unstoppable as my vanguard. In fact, I believe the little earth pony got a glimpse of that power once before...”

She turns back to you. “And you, ape... though you have no ember and thus cannot fall to the Nightmare, I have a use for you as well.” She licks her lips. “I'm certain the secrets of your world that I pry from your dreams will grant me most wondrous power...”

The dark alicorn trots up and rubs her body against yours, her mane wrapping around you in a sickening embrace. You feel her breath as she whispers into your ear, “Tell me, ape, how is little Luna doing? Have the doctors discovered why she won't wake up yet?”

She licks her fangs before speaking into your ear again. “I cursed her with unending nightmares, you see... a much stronger version of the spell that ensnared you and the little pegasus earlier. She will never awaken...”

Smiling, she moves away to gaze across the vast moon palace. “As for the accursed Sun... though I can't touch it myself, soon I'll have the power to move the moon in front of it, creating a permanent eclipse and allowing my glorious return to Equestria. I'm sure my precious subjects are just beside themselves with worry over their Queen's wellbeing~”

“Don't count on it,” you growl, your hatred for her clouding your ability to think.

“Is that a hint of defiance I hear?” Nightmare Moon coos. “No, it couldn't be... for to be defiant indicates that you either still have hope or are monumentally stupid. So, tell me, which is it?”

A giggle. “'Tis a little of column A, a little of column B!”

No way.

NO. WAY.

You know that voice. Or should you say voices, because it sounds like they're both speaking in tandem.

“Luna? Fluttershy?”

You turn to find Fluttershy standing on her hooves again and wreathed with power. She stands taller, her mane and tail waft through the air like pink perfume, and a phantom horn blazes on her forehead.

Wait... you've seen this before, back when the meteor was about to destroy Ponyville!

“Greetings, fair Anonymous!” Lunashy says with a smile. “Please do not be offended by our comment; we were merely joking! We know that it is hope that drives you, along with loyalty and devotion to those you love, as it should be. This is something that Nightmare Moon, despite all the power she possesses, shall never understand.”

Speaking of Nightmare Moon, she seems oddly calm at the sight of the newly awakened alicorn. “Hmhmhm... dreamwalking within your own nightmare, then possession of a sleeping acolyte. Very clever, Luna. I suppose I didn't give you enough credit. Perhaps I should've gone through the trouble of killing you after all... I'll be sure to fix that mistake upon my return. But tell me, why have you come to visit? You can't hope to defeat me in that weak little body... did you miss your pet monkey?”

She nods. “Indeed, our heart did pine for Anonymous, but that is not why we are here. We came to speak with you.”

“A conversation?” Nightmare Moon raises an eyebrow. “Forgive me if I don't have any tea ready, but I wasn't really expecting this.” She sits down and curls her legs underneath her. “Well, what is it?”

A sad expression crosses Lunashy's face. “We have come to say farewell, Nightmare.”

“Ah, so you finally admit to your own imminent demise!” Nightmare Moon laughs. “Truly, I have underestimated you, Luna! You've grown!”

“Indeed we have. We learned many lessons from you, both good and bad. We crafted spells... we forged the Dream School together from nothing... we wallowed in our despair and loneliness and learned what a life devoid of love was like. We fell to the greatest depths together, and then eventually climbed back out, scarred but stronger. We could never be the pony we are today without you. Despite all that has happened, despite all the grief and loss... aside from Sister, we still count thee as our first true friend and first false friend as well...”

Nightmare Moon frowns. “Are you just here to reminisce about the past? I don't understand what you're saying... make sense, you fool!”

“We told no one of the Grimoire's nature, Nightmare,” Lunashy continues. “Not Sister, not the Elements... for we knew that were she aware, Sister would have her scholars study the book and attempt to rejoin us via ritual and magic instead of in the way we felt would be proper. She would never risk the Kingdom as we have done with all this. But we dearly wanted to show you, before the end... show you that the lessons you taught, both directly and indirectly, were well learned, though perhaps not in the way that you intended them to be.”

“Ah, so THAT explains it... the one thing I couldn't figure out. Instead of just destroying the book and forcing us back together you kept it around because you missed me! I'm honored, little Luna. But look at what you've wrought! You've delivered all of Equestria into my hooves, cast it all away as if it were nothing, all for your own selfish desires! It appears you and I are much more similar than you realize!”

Lunashy shakes her head and trots over to the edge of the tower. She gazes out across the horizon as if searching for something.

“You are wrong, and it is sad that you will never understand why. We did not cast away the Kingdom for the sake of our own desires... we cast our desires away for the sake of the Kingdom.”

Her eyes meet yours and you can feel the sadness behind them.

Nightmare Moon grunts. “Are you done? I grow tired of this.” She stands on her hooves again and trots over to the yellow alicorn. “Abandon that body and return to your slumber or else I'll have to force you out.”

Lunashy sighs one final time. “Yes, it is over, Nightmare. Behold: the sun rises.”

From the top of the tower you can see a thin line of light cross the horizon and expand further and further as the darkness is pushed away. Nightmare Moon does not cry out or try to flee when sees it. Instead, she closes her eyes and lets out a low chuckle.

“So, I was defeated the moment you arrived here. You've learned well. Perhaps you're not so little any more, Luna.”

“To live is to learn. Each day brings the opportunity for a new lesson that allows us to grow, even if we don't recognize it at the time. Even immortals such as us must never forget that.”

Nightmare Moon smiles as her body begins to disintegrate in the dawn's light. “Indeed. Goodbye, Luna.”

“Farewell.”

And with that, the Nightmare finally ends.

Lunashy lays down and drops her head and the enchantments around her fade until she's just Fluttershy again, and one by one, you hear the little ponies groan as they wake up.

“Ugh... man, what the hay happened?” Rainbow asks as she rubs her head with a hoof.

“Ah don't rightly know. One minute we were fightin' and then...”

“It's over,” you say with a smile, and their eyes widen at the sound of your voice.

“Anon!” Applejack and Rainbow cry as they run over to you. Thankfully the constant fire around the cyan pegasus pony went out when she fell alseep so you're not burned to death by her hug. You turn to Fluttershy who's awake and standing off to the side and beckon her over to join in on the hug as well.

“I'm so glad you're all okay...” you tell them from the bottom of your heart as you hold them close.

Rainbow laughs, wiggling a bit in your embrace. “Come on, we're glad you're okay, Anon!”

“So ah see the sun's up... ah guess that means we won?” Applejack asks as she glances around.

Fluttershy smiles. “Twilight came through for us... just like she promised.”

Rainbow thrashes her tail with worry. “Speaking of Twilight... have any of you wondered how we're gonna get home?”

“Perhaps we can be of assistance!”

The four of you scream and recoil in terror. Before you, bathed in the light of the sun, stands Nightmare Moon!

You hold your little ponies close as you eye the monster. “How... how are you still here?!”

Nightmare Moon tilts her head curiously. “Why wouldn't we be? We are here to...” She looks down at her hooves and then brings a wing in front of her face to examine it. “Oh. Oh dear. Please forgive us... perhaps we should take a form more familiar to you.”

Her horn shines and with a wave of magic her form shrinks and her coat lightens until she's once again the familiar looking Luna you've always known. She takes a step toward you, but even with the change in her appearance you and the ponies hold each other tighter in fear.

The Moon Princess' smile fades slightly. “Come now... it is really us. What must we do to prove it?”

You gently pat Applejack and Rainbow Dash's backs as Fluttershy shivers between them and clings to your chest. You gaze into Luna's eyes to find sincerity but also trepidation and remorse there. You steady your breathing and force yourself to speak.

“Luna, I want some answers. I want you to tell me everything about what happened here.”

The princess seats herself and looks at you and each of the ponies in turn. “Yes, you deserve to know. You all do.”

One by one the ponies pull away from you, but they still stick close by. Fluttershy rests on your lap and AJ and Rainbow guard each side of you.

“Nightmare Moon was what we found when delving into the depths of our own dreams, back when the school of Dream Magic was just a series of notes in our personal diary. She was a part of us and represented the full breadth of the power we would achieve when we matured... much like the full power you've observed Sister, herself a matured alicorn, command. By bringing her out from our subconscious we gained access this power far sooner than we were prepared for, and the terror of Nightmare Moon began. But make no mistake... Nightmare Moon and Luna are the same pony. She is always what we were going to become...” She giggles. “...Though hopefully without the evil designs for world domination and whatnot.”

Luna gazes at the ponies surrounding you. “When the Elements of Harmony purged us, Nightmare Moon was torn from us and banished, but she was also, by her nature, a fragment of ourself and our power... an integral piece of who we are. The Elements left us incomplete and the rift that divided Nightmare Moon and Luna unhealed. Due to the nature of the spell that drew Nightmare Moon from our subconscious in the first place, she became sealed within the Grimoire – the book Twilight Sparkle found that almost resulted in a wayward meteor landing on Ponyville – where she would remain trapped unless she were able to draw sufficient power from an outside source.”

“We never told Sister any of this. She always assumed we would grow to maturity as is normal for our kind, but this would never happen as long as Nightmare Moon remained within the Grimoire. Had she known, Sister would have tried to safely use the Elements or some other type of magic to forcibly heal the rift between us and make us whole again... but that is not how we wanted to go about it.” She casts her eyes downward. “It was part foolish pride and part a desire for penance, but we always intended to release Nightmare Moon from the book when we deemed ourself ready, confront her, and overcome her, which would have the same result of unification. To us, she was a representation of all the past mistakes that we wanted to prove to ourself we could rise above. We did not feel we were ready, so we planned to wait for several hundred more years before attempting it...”

“But then Twilight found the book, right?” you ask.

She chuckles. “Yes. Both we and Sister believed that the book was safely stored in the Canterlot archives, but we were mistaken and did not verify it. Instead, she had hidden the book away in the Ponyville library where her curious student found it and the rest is history. Nightmare Moon was released and we confronted her alone as we had always intended, but she defeated us. As we suspected, we were not ready to face her.”

Applejack narrows her eyes. “Wait, yer tellin' us that ya KNEW an unstoppable monster was gonna be released, and ya weren't sure ya could beat it, and ya STILL didn't tell anypony, not even Princess Celestia about it?! What... what the hay is wrong with you?!”

Fluttershy gasps. “Applejack! Th-That's the Princess you're talking to...”

Luna shakes her head. “No, she is right to be angry. However there is another piece to the story. Our success was in doubt, that much is true, but as far as whether Nightmare Moon would be overcome and the world saved? That was never in question.”

Her eyes meet each of your own as a serene smile graces her lips. And in that moment, it all makes sense.

At every opportunity, Luna would nudge you toward these three.

She would find excuses for them to interact with you.

She encouraged Fluttershy's antics.

She gave them armor that drew strength from their love for you.

As the Nightmares appeared, she gradually stopped assisting in their removal, instead pushing the ponies to grow stronger.

Your body begins shaking. “Tell me... tell me this. When I spun that bottle and it landed on Rainbow Dash during the party, was that just random chance?”

Luna stares at you with an unreadable expression. “It was not.”

“You...”

You can't believe it...

“You... you used us. You played us all like pawns the whole time. You brought us together, you manipulated us... just to clean up YOUR OWN FUCKING MESS, LUNA!”

You stand and march toward the alicorn and look her dead in the eyes.

“What was I to you?! Anything? Did it ever even matter? Did you ever even love me? Were all those dreams we had together, all those words we shared... was it all just a big fucking lie?!”

She turns from you and walks away.

“We cannot ask for your forgiveness. We have no right, Anonymous. But you must understand... it had to be done. The alternative would be much, much worse than this.”

“BULLSHIT! You said yourself you could've stopped it at any time, but you chose to keep going because of your own fucking selfish delusions! Stay...” Tears begin to stream down your face as the words become harder to say. “Stay... Stay out of my life. Stay out of my dreams. You think Nightmare Moon was a monster?! Look in the damn mirror!”

A hoof reaches out and slaps you across the face with such force that it causes you to stumble back. You turn your head back forward to find...

“F-Fluttershy...?”

“I can't believe you're such an idiot!” she screams. “How could you possibly say that to her?!”

“H-How can you defend her?” you yell back, holding your throbbing cheek. “You were manipulated just like I was just so she could have a fucking therapy session with her split personality!”

She slaps you again. GodDAMN that stings.

“Think, Anon! THINK! Think back to when it all started!”

“What...?”

You pour through your memories of your time with Luna. From the moment she first came into your life... from the moment the dreams first began...

Wait... it doesn't make sense...

You step past Fluttershy to confront Luna, who now stands near the edge of the tower, and the other ponies follow. Your breathing is ragged, your heart is pounding, and your mind is racing in light of your realization that...

“You... started all this even before the book was found. You started pushing all of us together before you even had a clue Nightmare Moon would be let loose. I... I don't understand, Luna. Why?”

She turns to face you and her smile is so gentle... so genuine... so real it almost brings tears to your eyes.

“We are the Princess of the Night and Dreams, fair Anonymous. We told you before that no dream within the borders of Equestria escapes us.”

She looks at Rainbow Dash. “Not even a dream of a dance that could never be asked for.”

She looks at Applejack. “Not even a dream of a true love requited.”

She looks at Fluttershy. “Not even a dream of a beloved savior one day accepting their gift with grace.”

She looks at you. “Not even the fleeting dreams and visions of lives that might have been... or what could one day be.”

The ponies are all crying now, their tears falling to the dusty ground along with your own.

“Anonymous, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash... the greatest lesson we learned from Nightmare Moon's mistakes was that a life lived without love is a sad, empty existence. We don't expect you to forgive us for our meddling. We won't force you to continue down the path we've set you on. But please, no matter what happens... just remember that the love that has developed between you is real. It is no spell, it is no trick... had there been nothing there to start with, none of this would be possible. Please, treasure it.”

With a wistful smile, she turns away from you once more. “We... we suppose we should return all of you to Equestria. The others will be anxious to welcome their heroes home.”

“Wait.” You place a hand on Luna's withers and she jumps at the touch. “When you were talking to Nightmare Moon, you said you gave up your desires for the Kingdom. What did you mean?”

She laughs and blinks a few tears away. “I-Isn't it obvious? We knew from the start when the truth came out you would hate us. But it was necessary that this be done to save Equestria...”

You pull Luna into a big hug and her wings fan out in surprise. “I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for what I said. I don't hate you... far from it, Luna. I don't know what I'd do without you, or without any of the others.”

Applejack grins. “Yer pretty slippery, Princess... ah guess we'll have ta keep a closer eye out for yer schemin' from now on, but... ah'm so, so grateful for what you've done fer us, I don't know what ta say.”

Rainbow Dash laughs. “MMMMaybe I'll forgive you if you agree to another card game with all of us together. That was a blast!”

Instead of speaking, Fluttershy simply flies up and places a kiss on Luna's cheek.

As the five of you walk back to the center of the tower so that Luna can prepare her return spell, you run a hand through her starry mane, scratch behind her ears and ask:

“Now, can you explain to me what this herd business is all about...?”

Pinkie's ‘Congratulations on Sending Black Snooty Packing!’ party is in full swing before 7pm, just like she wanted. Ponyville is jam packed with ponies from all over, including the recently freed Celestia, who quickly corrected the sun's position upon her return.

You find time to mingle with all your friends, but three little ponies in particular stick especially close to you. You sneak an ear or back scratch on one of them whenever you can, and they love it.

As the festivities wind on, you take time to approach Luna at the platform where she's sitting beside her sister.

“Enjoying the party so far?”

She beams. “Indeed we are, fair Anonymous! Though, there is a concern in the back of our mind that we are forgetting something important, though we haven't any idea what it could be...”

You lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. “It's probably nothing. This is a party, so just relax and have fun!”

“Yes, you are right,” she replies with a smile that warms your heart.

Celestia leans over and nudges Luna. “Lulu, it's time. I think our ponies are anxious to see the night again after this whole fiasco, wouldn't you agree?”

“Indeed!” Luna cheers. She stands along with her sister and together the two transition day to night.

As the moon rises, a collective gasp echoes through the crowd. Drinks are spilled. Monocles are popped. Mares and stallions alike faint.

You glance up at the sky and quickly stifle a laugh. There, written on the moon's surface and easily legible, is the result of Luna's old prank:

~ C E L E S T I A ' S A C U N T ~

Right... Twilight spun the moon around so the palace is on this side now. You take another sip of your cider.

“LLLLLLUUUUUUNNNNNNAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~!!!!!!”

In a flash, you're grabbed by Luna's magic and placed upon her back as she gallops off. An orange earth pony runs alongside her and two pegasi follow in the air.

“Fair Anonymous and fellow herdmates... we believe it is time for us to abscond from this gathering as quickly as possible!”

Rainbow turns her head as she flies. “Where're we gonna go, Princess?”

Luna ponders. “Nowhere in Equestria is safe for us right now. Perhaps we should retire to the moon palace? It would also give us an opportunity to do some redecorating so that the message is, while still true, something less offensive.”

“DON'T THINK I DIDN'T HEAR THAT, LUNA!!”

The Princess of Dreams yelps and then begins to charge her horn for a mass teleportation spell. You turn back to find an angry Celestia barely being restrained by her guard from coming after you. With a hearty laugh, you grab on to Luna’s starry mane as the teleportation magic begins to take hold of you, along with a deep joy that captures you completely.

For a moment, it all seems like something out of a dream…

You look to the ponies you hold dear once more before the shimmering magic carries you away, and you wonder if it even matters.

‘Cause when your life’s as wonderfully crazy as this, who needs dreams anyway?