After reading it a few more times, this book is starting to make sense insofar as it seems to be just as confused as I am. Mr. Soloman writes as though this topic, existentialism, is more of a feeling than a way of thinking. Usually when I read philosophy, I expect something with explanatory power rather than the very rejection of such a notion. Existentialism, as I understand it, serves to encompass all of one’s doubts towards this dreary world, and even though I do not have the same concerns as this chap (aside from that of drinking too much coffee), I see in his words the same sorts of confusion I see in myself. It’s comforting in a strange way.

Ever since my youth, I’d been told I possess artistic vision in a grand quantity, and, while irreplaceable in my life, I’ve always felt it to be a double-edged sword. I see designs and colours, even when I don’t want to. I can’t toss a switch when I’d like to sleep or think of other things. It’s maddening, and the underlying catalyst for this recent dip into the academic. We may be Equestrians, but in the end we’re still equines, animals. We were designed with crude survival instinct and now we’ve been infused with this ability to self-reflect. We've made our societies and rules of engagement; we do things that animals should not and go against our animal selves. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the ability to reason. We are not designed to do this, and Robert agrees.

I can’t say that anything that I’ve read has given me any insight into my own life, but it’s comforting to know I’m not alone.

It’s depressing to think others suffer so unnecessarily from life as I do. There are a million little concerns and worries that all build up in such a way that feels hopeless. By the time I’ve gotten myself attached to a problem and begin working on how to fix it, I’ve forgotten the problem from last week. I’d like to blame age for my forgetfulness, but it can’t be so simple. Maybe I’ll figure it out. Until then, I lie trapped in an endless loop of stagnation.

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