Princess Celestia, for all her years and wisdom, was still susceptible to emotion. Her heart nearly broke at the sheer level of devastation, and her eyes were cast downward. The destruction, the desolation, the absolute damage that her home had endured almost made her shed a single tear.

But then she remembered that she didn’t have to clean up the mess, and her sadness was swift to vanish.

“You missed a spot,” Celestia smiled cheerfully at the guard, who was busy carefully stuffing pillows with feathers in the hall.

“Yes, your majesty,” he deadpanned, readjusting his helmet and resuming his job. Celestia kindly continued to levitate a large number of the pillows together to return them to their rightful places, smile still perched on her lips.

And then she heard it.

Like the sound of a thousand souls screaming out at once.

Plip.

Celestia froze, torn pillow in hoof as her ears perked up in panic.

The guard, seemingly unnoticing of the chaos about to unfold before him, blinked up at her.

“Something the matter, your highness?” he asked in confusion. Or at least, he tried to, as the next thing out of his mouth was mostly water and burbling. The balloon smacked him square in the jaw, and he squawked in terror and fell over backwards.

“We’re under attack!” Celestia bounded away and left the poor guard by himself, who was weakly raising a trembling hoof from the mess of feathers and pillows in attempt to rescue himself. “Pony all stations, take up arms!”

“Vengeance shall be mine at last, tyrant!” cackled Luna as she barreled down the hall after her, mass of water balloons floating in a magical hue not far behind. “Thy rule is at a watery end!”

Vanilla carefully garnished the row of cupcakes with a loving touch, as she always did for the royal sisters. A smile adorned her yellow face as she layered each one with a caressing layer of icing, careful to keep her mane away lest any stray hairs make it into the treats.

She hummed a merry little tune to herself as she carefully placed them onto a tray, the nearly empty castle kitchen seeming a little lonely for this time of night.

Moments later, the castle kitchen became much less lonely as Celestia burst through the double doors, eyes wild with fear.

“Y-your majesty!” Vanilla gawked in surprise, kneeling.

“Flee!” Celestia was clearly trying not to giggle, and failing horribly. “Fly, my servant!”

“… But I’m a unicorn,” Vanilla blinked. She didn’t have time to say much more, as a large red balloon mysteriously wrapped itself around her face.

Then, it exploded.

She yelped and staggered away in panic, the wicked laughter of her assailant in her ears.

“You cannot hide behind your precious subjects, Tia!” Luna howled in glee, blue glow surrounding her balloons as several more readied themselves in the air. “There is no escape, come and face your balloon-y fate!”

“Your devilish balloons are no match for midnight snacks!” Celestia stood proudly, pulling one from the tray with her hoof. “Your – ooh, that’s hot. Did you just make these, Vanilla?”

The stunned unicorn nodded.

“Hm. Seems such a sad waste,” she took a bite out of the steaming cupcake, savoring the flavor. “Ooh, with chocolate filling. Very nice, I like them.”

“Er, thank you…?” Vanilla blinked the water out of her eyes again, more confused than anything else.

“Do you mind if I take the rest of these?” Celestia asked quietly, to which the mare promptly shook her head. “Thank you very much, I’ll put them to good use.”

She smiled, turning back to the grinning princess before her.

“Luna,” Celestia was slowly backing away with the tray of cupcakes in hoof, but her voice was even. “There’s not any chance you’re willing-”

Another balloon sailed straight over Celestia’s head, and she giggled.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’!” she grinned, hurtling one hot cupcake after another at Luna.

“Ha ha!” Luna blocked one from hitting her with a balloon, and it promptly splattered all over the floor. “Your pitiful tactics are no match for moon magic!”

“Egads!” Celestia balked in faux horror. “Moon magic, how could it be?”

“With the moon, obviously!” the blue alicorn cackled again, magically chucking a balloon at the princess.

“Nooooooo!” shrieked Vanilla, throwing herself heroically in front of the missile. Time seemed to slow down as it made wet impact, shattering ferociously against the poor defenseless mare’s chest. She collapsed to the floor as she landed, one leg still kicking at the air dramatically.

“Vanilla, my trusty chef!” Celestia dropped to her knees. “Luna, you-you fiend!” she bellowed dramatically. “You shall be avenged, avenged I say!”

“I’m still alive,” Vanilla whispered, but was seemingly unheard.

“Bwa-haha ha!” Luna tossed another balloon, which Celestia caused to implode with a powerful cupcake barrage. Her supply of dripping water balloons was steadily dwindling, but she still had many. “There will be no end to the water balloon mugging, this shall be known in history as the day Celestia was defeated!”

“This ends now!” Celestia stood proudly, readying her last cupcake. “You shall not advance to the rest of my castle!”

“Betcha I will!” Luna smirked.

“YOU – SHALL NOT – PASS!” the princess shouted heroically, charging with her cupcake held high.

She paused to take a bite out of it, and then continued.

The resulting explosion nearly destroyed half of the castle, and would come to be known as ‘the day Vanilla Frosting finally retired to Baltimare’.