Just Before the Dawn
Chapter 24: 24 - A Lifetime in a Single Moment
Previous Chapter Next ChapterThere were not many who in Equestria's history who could claim to have served in every branch of the military, and fewer still who had lived to tell about it. It was good, then, that Legatus Cestus considered himself to be blessed with luck. A veteran of the tribal skirmishes and numerous other small conflicts, Cestus had spent time in the Equestrian Guard, Royal Guard, Praetorian Guard, and the Legion, each time picking up new skills and points of view. Presently, he served as the advisor to Princess Celestia on all troop movements to and from the area around Canterlot.
Celestia had always liked the old stallion, even from his days as a rank-and-file soldier. Time had not been kind to his features -- his once brilliant orange mane had faded to an off-white color, and his wings could hardly carry him more than a few hundred yards at a time -- but his sharp mind had maintained its edge. The princess was thankful for his company as they both surveyed a large map of Equestria and eastern Whitetail, where dozens of unit markers denoted the various cohorts that had fought the Whitetail all the way back to their capitol.
"Looks like the deerfolk are regretting their aggression," Cestus said. He knocked a hoof on the map, speaking confidently. "Kar'nodaan, Pilynquaas, Caeniila...and now, Quillyyn. If I didn't know any better I'd say the whitetail are letting us have their land. Not that I'd complain. I hear Whitetail forest is a great place to visit if you're looking for crippling depression and torrential rain. Oh, and monsters. Can't forget them."
Celestia had only heard part of his boast, busily reading through a scroll that had arrived earlier in the day from General Phalanx. Attached to the scroll were several notes on casualty statistics and requests to unit commanders for further goods and reinforcements. The sheer number of wounded and dead over the last four months was never something she could fully come to terms with, though she despised the fact that she had, against her will, become somewhat used to the reports. Good Equestrian citizens were becoming statistics. She wished she could mourn them, but every time she glanced at the numbers she simply felt numb.
It had not all been bad news, thankfully. Promised supplies from Zevran and Skytalon were finally arriving, and Phalanx had assured her that Quillyyn Keep had fallen, which left the nation of Whitetail with a very small number of options. She was hopeful for peace, but fearful of razing Evinwiir. It was, truth be told, not something she had considered to any real degree. Removing the senate and chancellor from power would have made her a conqueror, an expansionist no better than the Cervidaens of old. And yet, she had not heard from the Whitetail chancellor for nearly three months. If only there was some way...
"...elements of the 18th Legion and 108th Guard could be sent in shortly. What do you think?"
Celestia blinked, finding Cestus staring at her inquisitively.
"I'm sorry, Legatus. Could you say that again? I was distracted."
"Reinforcements, Your Highness. General Phalanx is asking for reinforcements so that he may send his veteran soldiers back to their families for a time. I will need to speak with the garrison commanders in the area but I believe we can do so without compromising our strength in the west. Believe me when I say that time away from the battlefield is worth its weight in gold."
"Right, morale," she said, forcing herself to focus. "Pass word to the local commanders that they are to draw up a list of able-bodied stallions to send to the front. We will need cooks, apothecaries, supply runners, smithies, whatever they can spare. All convoys will need to pack two weeks worth of provisions, in the event of inclement weather. Once they arrive, they should...should..."
She put a hoof to her head and sighed.
"Princess?"
"Why won't they just surrender?" she asked, exasperated and annoyed. "The whitetail, I mean. Are they really so eager to see their civilization fall? Or are they counting on us not attacking?"
"I cannot begin to speak for the whitetail or their military."
"Neither can their chancellor, apparently. Am I so wrong for not wanting to burn Evinwiir to the ground, Cestus? The last thing I want to be seen as is a tyrant or some sort of...conquering empress. The days of Equestria's expansion by blade are long gone."
"Yet the other nations are watching this war with interest. We cannot afford to be appear weak, Princess. Though, in fairness, I understand your point of view. Personally I would bombard the city's fortifications with a prolonged campaign of siege. It would take months, perhaps years, but it would whittle their resources to nothing. They would be forced to surrender by way of our cutting off their supplies."
Celestia lifted a unit emblem from the table, floating it before her. The carved, gleaming obsidian figure of a crested Legion helm bobbed as she turned it round, its surface catching the room's warm torch light.
"I won't commit to such an attack. I can't, Cestus. It goes counter to everything we stand for."
The old stallion sighed. "Ultimately it's your word, Princess, not mine, that decides the fate of Whitetail. I can only advise that we do not tarry. Give the stallions some time home, sure. Rebuild our strength in the west, certainly. But it will be the dead of winter before long, and the only thing worse than attacking a fortified position is attacking it with snow up to your chest. If the deer have the entire winter to rebuild, well..."
"I understand," Celestia answered. "I still hold out hope that Chancellor Vinawyll wishes for an end to hostilities. If I can persuade Cervidae or Skytalon to join me in convincing the whitetail and their leaders..." She shook her head. "I need time. I will not give up the dream of peace so easily."
"As you wish. For now I will relay your message to the others in and around Canterlot. Word should spread to our secondary outposts within the week." Cestus snapped off a crisp salute, his green veteran cloak flowing with the motion. "Do not hesitate to call on me any time you wish my input."
Celestia bowed her head in respect, hearing him turn and trot across the room. He stopped and motioned to the map table with a tip of his head.
"I think you're a kind soul, Princess, and I think you truly believe in the principles set out by King Argo and Queen Aurora. They say history is not written in kind words, and I'm inclined to believe it. But I hope you can prove them wrong."
***
"Mail call! You know the deal, everyone gather 'round so I don't have to yell."
Fifty Praetorians from First and Third Barracks quickly formed a semi-circle around Imperator Stonewall. There was an excitement in the air, and for good reason: for the first time in months there was a chance of returning home for a time. It had started with the front lines and moved east from there, word of Equestria's repeated victories spreading like wildfire along with the hope of seeing family again. Some of the veteran Praetorians already lived in Canterlot, and for them it meant a welcome break from palace duty.
Tercio hoped his name was among those called for the first wave of leave. Seeing his parents -- and hopefully his brother -- was a wonderful thought, especially with Equestria's biggest holiday, Hearth's Warming, coming up at the end of the month.
"As soon as I get back, I'm gonna knock on this pretty little mare's door and do a little catching up," a newer pegasus inductee, Cloudtop, said to anyone who would listen.
"There are worse ways to be welcomed home," Rimeberry added.
"What about you, Rime?" Tercio asked. The big earth pony lifted an upturned hoof in a shrug.
"Probably check in on my nephew and his vineyard. It's almost the right weather for ice wine, and the kid's still pretty new at it."
"Bring back a bottle for me, won't you? If I have to hear you describe its taste again I'm going to go mad."
Rimeberry smirked. "I'll try to remember the ugly human and his requests. No promises, though."
"All I can ask."
Stonewall stomped his wooden foreleg on the floor.
"Right, quiet down. There's a few things to cover. Let's see..." He flipped through pages of scrolls, mumbling to himself as he read the missives from around Canterlot. "When your name is called step over to the right, there's a table set up for all this shit. I have mail for...Thunderburst, Olive Branch, Nightowl, Perantius, Acasius, Evergreen, Golden Wheat, Cloudtop, Cloudswirl, Silver Cloud..."
He looked up from his list and cocked an eyebrow.
"What is it with you pegasi and clouds, exactly? Anyway...Oriscio, Snowcap, Aether Weave aaaand Amistorum. You all received scrolls today. Rimeberry and Hammer Haft, there's a package for each of you. Sign off with the quartermaster and you're good. That's all for now."
"What about our leave?" someone asked, others echoing him.
"You'll get it soon enough. Rear echelon units like ourselves have low priority, but you should be home in time for the holiday, or close to it. And no bitching! Else you might find yourself at the bottom of that list. Dismissed!"
The crowd slowly drifted apart with a general murmuring of commotion. Tercio was disappointed to not have anything from home, but it had only been a few days since the last letter. At least he could write something back to occupy his time.
"Not you, Krosus," Stonewall said, getting the human's attention.
"Sir?"
"I've got something I was told to deliver to you personally. Royal stamp and everything." He passed the wrapped scroll and waited for Tercio to open it. "Who the hell'd you piss off now? Don't tell me they assigned you to kitchen duty."
"Not quite..." Tercio answered, reading over the scroll. "It would appear the Princess has requested my presence this evening. She says it is 'of a matter of the utmost importance'..."
"Huh. Sounds serious. Surprised I haven't heard about it, come to think of it."
Tercio could guess what it was. The missive didn't sound particularly encouraging. He felt his spirits drop even as he re-read the words a second time, then a third.
"A...a personal matter, most likely," he managed to say without letting his worry come through.
"Right, right, none of my business. I'll leave you to it, then." Stonewall promptly trotted off, then called back over his shoulder. "And don't forget about your leadership course! You've got two hours to prepare!"
Compared to the inevitability of seeing Celestia for the first time in over a week, a training class seemed incredibly unimportant. Still, they paid him to be a soldier, not to think about the outcome of ill-timed confessions. He'd do what he had to, and the rest was up to fate.
***
Canterlot's Castle's largest spire held much significance to the nation of Equestria, built in a time of upheaval and uncertainty when the three races were still feuding among themselves. The time of Unity had not been free of conflict.
These days, the great spire served as a way to look back upon the past through the many frescoes, paintings, artifacts and stained glass windows that adorned its walls and arched ceiling. To Princess Celestia it was a source of memories that no ponies currently alive could ever hope to imagine in detail.
One area of the tower in particular had become a favorite of hers, a hanging platform that jutted off from the side three-quarters of the way up. The view it provided was unparalleled, and she often took her meals there in an effort to re-center herself and focus on the day's trials to come.
And, of course, it was the place she'd first had dinner with Tercio. Though it had only been a few short months, the casual attitude of that night now seemed so very distant.
As the wind played through her mane and caressed her skin with cold gusts of an early winter's eve, her silken dress trailing behind her like water over a stone, she waited nervously for him to stand before her once more. Tercio, the steadfast soldier who had worked his way through the ranks with his own skill and dedication. The human who had always been looked upon as a bizarre outcast, a curiosity. And now he had admitted to falling for the most powerful, sought-after mare in Equestria.
She had to laugh, despite herself. It was such an unlikely story. Had it not happened to her personally she might have dismissed it as rumor and rhetoric. Her amused smile quickly faded as the reality of her situation came rumbling back like a thunderclap. Long minutes passed, each feeling more drawn out than the last, until finally she heard the twin doors open behind her.
"Princess, Sir Tercio Krosus is here to see you," her aide said in a polite, formal tone. Celestia smiled and thanked her.
Dressed in his formal tunic and draped in his toga, Tercio saluted with a fist over his chest and bowed slightly. Warmer layers of cotton underclothing peeked out from his tunic, insulation against the cold.
"Good evening, Celestia," he said. If he was nervous or unsure of himself he did not show it. Perhaps, Celestia thought, his time around her had taught him a few things about appearances.
"Good evening, Tercio," she replied. "How have you been?"
"I have been well, thank you. And yourself?"
"As well as can be expected in such busy times."
She hesitated before continuing -- it was so formal, so uncomfortable compared to the last time they had spoken. She knew neither of them wanted to be the first to say anything about their possible feelings for each other, but she could not simply come out and say so.
"Will you sit with me?" she asked, motioning to a row of cushions that sat next to a low table. A small bowl of fruit and a few glasses with flavored water had been prepared for her by the kitchen, but she hardly felt like touching either of them.
"Of course."
Tercio waited for her to seat herself, then took his place beside her. They sat in uncomfortable silence for what felt like a long time, staring at the near-by mountain range that was gradually being dusted with the season's first snows.
"Do you have any news?" Celestia asked, hoping to break the ice. "Any word from family and friends?"
"No more than I've heard from others. There is hope of being sent home for a time, though understandably those on the front lines get priority. I do not mind waiting, but I do wish I could be home at the same time as Victus. I can only imagine what he's gone through since the war started. His unit has been on the forefront of the battlefield since the first engagement."
"I will see what I can do," she said. Whatever the night may bring, she still prided herself on taking care of her Praetorians to the best of her abilities. Arranging for some time with his brother and parents might be just what Tercio needed.
"Thank you." Tercio cleared his throat nervously. "You seem to have been quite busy since Wither Shoals. I trust everything is alright?"
"In Canterlot? Yes. But across the border it's...complicated. Even as the war reaches its inevitable end I find myself wishing for a simpler way to cease hostilities once and for all. Those in power in Whitetail refuse to speak with me, even after repeated requests. Perhaps they truly believe me a tyrant after all."
"Then they are fools," Tercio added quickly. "I have heard the rumors: you have not sacked Evinwiir, despite having the capability to do so. A tyrant would not refuse to slaughter civilians in their homes, to burn them to the ground. That is not our way."
"I'm glad you still believe." She managed a light smile and said, "I have others in the military saying I must take action, and take it now. To them, ideals take a secondary position to victory."
Tercio shrugged. "I am not a leader of armies, Princess. I can only speak on behalf of myself and those I serve with."
"And what do they say? What do they think I should do?"
"Some are split, but most have stopped viewing the deer as evil some time ago. The whitetail are simply our enemies in a time of war. If you want evil -- true, shameless evil -- then one needs look no further than the followers of Nightmare Moon. Murder, slavery, destruction...the stories I hear are disturbing, to say the least."
"I know. Believe me, I know all too well." Celestia dipped her head in shame. "Every time we find another camp set up to honor Luna's twisted, fallen persona, or come across another settlement burned to the ground, I relive that horrible night. Once Whitetail has surrendered we can finally turn our attention fully to disbanding those who taint the good memory of my sister. I do not know if she has a hoof in guiding them herself, or if they merely follow some twisted ideology, but I will find out, and I will put an end to it."
Tercio reached for a glass, his throat parched and his mouth dry from worry. Did she actually call upon him to discuss strategy?
"So...what will you do when this is all over?" he asked, trying to tilt the conversation just a bit in his favor. "After Whitetail has surrendered and the cults no longer pose a threat?"
Celestia thought for a moment before answering.
"I imagine life will resume as it always has. My duties as Princess do not cease just because a war has come to an end. There are always negotiations to partake in, dignitaries to entertain. I imagine our relations with Whitetail and its Cervidaen neighbors will be strained, but I am prepared for it. Or so I should hope." She faced him with the warmth of the crackling brazier reflecting in her eyes, its licking flames casting a soft glow on her formal outfit and crown, and Tercio found it hard to focus on his thoughts once more. "And what about you? What is in store for Centurion Tercio Krosus?"
"Honestly? I have not given it much thought. I may end up staying in the military until I retire; It's certainly a good posting, and I cannot complain about the pay..."
"But...?" she prodded.
Tercio looked at her and chuckled to himself. "But...I'm not sure if I can see myself being a crotchety old war horse like Stonewall or his ilk. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but the deepest respect for the Imperator and everyone who continues to serve in their old age, but do I really want to be hefting a sword and shield for so long? I don't know. Not yet, at any rate." He looked out over the horizon -- somewhere out there, his home still waited. "It's funny...not long ago my father told me I would start to miss the simplicity and honest work of tending a field. After the attack on Canterlot, I am starting to think he may have been right."
"Parents usually are," Celestia quipped.
"So I've learned! It's just...I don't think I'm ready to give up being a Praetorian just yet. I have some good years left in me. Maybe one day I'll settle down with a mare I care for. Someone I enjoy being with. Whoever that might be."
An uneasy silence hung in the air. They both knew what the implication of his statement was.
"That sounds very nice," Celestia said quietly.
"It does..."
The gentle burning of firewood and the cold gales blowing in from the mountains were the only sounds between them once more. Celestia ventured a glance out of the corner of her eye, seeing Tercio staring into the distance. When she finally spoke it was in a hushed voice, barely louder than the wind.
"I assume you realize that I didn't call upon you to idly discuss the war, Tercio."
"I figured as much," he answered, turning back to her. Celestia felt herself shaking, her heart racing in her chest. She worried that the entirety of Equestria could see her and know her every thought. "Reading the summons filled me with both dread and elation. We have not spoken since Wither Shoals, and I thought...well, a lot of things. I feared you would never wish to speak with me again, that I had driven you away entirely."
Celestia frowned. "Do you think me so callous?"
"No, never. But I had no way of knowing. The mind creates the most terrible possibilities..."
"I'm sorry to have put you in such a position. I truly am."
Tercio gave a short, humorless laugh. "It is I who should apologize. Such a foolish thing to do, being so forward and confessing like a scared colt. As if the very ideas of tact and maturity have no bearing on my decisions."
All of the hours she had spent thinking of what to say, and how to say it, had been of no help. The more she considered her words the more they became a jumbled mess that refused to come to the surface. Instead, she steeled herself and asked the simplest question she could imagine.
"Tercio, do you...do you love me?"
She expected him to react with shock, or relief. But he only stared back at her, casting his gaze aside as he tried to answer.
"I think...I think 'love' is a very strong word, and I would hesitate use it just yet. Perhaps if I--"
"Please. I have to know. Call it a confession if you like, but tell me truthfully."
He inhaled deeply, his breath faltering.
"...yes."
Celestia felt a flood of emotions come over her like a cold wave. So many nights awake in her bed, so many countless minutes and hours wondering if it had been merely a momentary infatuation. Now there could be no doubt.
"I love you, Celestia. From the moment we met you have been in my thoughts, and no matter how absurd I knew it to be I always held onto this...this notion, this tiny ember of hope, that you might care the same about me."
He placed a hand to her chest, felt her heart beating just as fast as his own.
"Am I so wrong for it? Do you feel it as well?"
Slowly, she draped a foreleg over his arm, her eyes glimmering.
"...I do. I spent all this time wondering whether it was a mistake. I was so scared, Tercio. I worry about things that no one else in the world has to. I held onto painful memories and dreaded the thought of more, but I was wrong." She sniffed back the tears that ran down her cheeks and grasped his hands. "I feel it every time we speak. You understand me better than anyone else I have met in a very long time, and I always know that I can come to you with anything. I don't know if what we have between us is truly destined to be, but I am willing to try."
She caught her breath and looked into his familiar brown eyes, finding relief and joy and uncertainty that mirrored her own. In a way, it was comforting. It gave her the courage to continue as she finally said what she had been wanting to, the truth that had been hidden behind half-truths, for what felt like a very long time.
"I...I want to be with you, Tercio."
It was as if a great weight had been taken from her chest, and as she considered her confession she felt his hand lift her chin. She did not know what more to say, but found that, perhaps, she didn't have to say anything else at all. She caressed her cheek against his palm, her eyes locked with his, and slowly, and nervously, met him in a comforting kiss. For a few heartbeats nothing else mattered in the world, and she let herself become lost in the moment that had been so long in coming. She had finally bared her soul, and it was wonderful. Regretfully she pulled away, the moment passing far too quickly.
"You've no idea burden you've eased from my heart," Tercio said with a relieved smile. Celestia laughed with him, all of her stress finally finding an outlet. It felt...right. She placed her forehead against his and ran a hoof down his cheek.
"We'll make this work." She gently kissed his hand and smiled. "Somehow, we'll make this work. I promise."
They embraced each other lovingly, gently rocking with the gusting wind, and for the first night in many months they were free to think of nothing at all.
Next Chapter: 25 - Nocturne Estimated time remaining: 21 Hours, 52 Minutes