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Pen Pals Of A Fractal Nature

by RainbowBob

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Penmanship Is Chaotic

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“Discord, your mail is here!” Celestia called down the hall. Counting to three in her head, she ducked at just the moment Discord flew by over her head, slamming himself into a pancake against the wall.

“Mail?” Discord muttered, flopping down on the ground, still in his two-dimensional state. Pulling himself back up and blowing into his thumb until he was back to his normal form (or however normal you can get with someone like Discord), he scratched his head. “But I haven’t gotten mail in over a thousand years. Minus the junk mail, of course. Even when you’re trapped in stone, they still manage to find out how to send it to you.”

“It seems like it came from Ponyville,” Celestia said. Reading the return address on the letter, she said excitedly, “Oh, it is! And from Fluttershy too. I didn’t know she sent letters to you.”

“Oh yeah, the pen pal thing.” Discord snatched the letter from Celestia’s hoof and scrutinized it with his mismatched eyes. “She mentioned something about that right as I was leaving Ponyville after being reformed. Says she wants to make sure we stay in touch and remain friends.”

Celestia smiled knowingly to Discord. “Now doesn’t that sound sweet?”

“It sounds more like she wants to make sure I stay reformed,” Discord said bitterly under his breath. Sighing, he broke the seal on the letter and unfolded it while he took out his reading glasses, which just so happen to look like novelty x-ray goggles. “Well, might as well as give it a read, since I have to reply back later anyways.”

“Have fun, Discord. And do try to be more courteous in letter form than what you usually do,” Celestia said, taking her leave.

Muttering her words under his breath in a mocking tone, Discord began to read Fluttershy’s letter.

Dear Discord,

It’s strange, writing to somepony again. I haven’t written to anypony in ages since the last friendship letter I could remember. Strange enough, I don’t remember writing any letters before that at all. You must be wondering why I of all ponies chose to write, but that’s what friends do. Now that you're reformed, Princess Celestia must be using your magic for something truly wonderful! However, castle life must be dreadful for once used to the freedoms you once lived in. Your face, your behavior, it was reminiscent of a certain little bunny I know. Rebellious, cheeky, and maybe a little underhanded, it’s obvious all you want is a little freedom.

Unfortunately, I’m just a little pony in Ponyville, nothing special other than the cutie mark given to me. I wish I could do something for you, as your friend, but not even I can quell the anguish of a caged life. We pegasi, we live in the clouds, we know what true freedom is. I did my best to save you from a stone prison, to save you from your own pride, but there’s nothing more I can do than offer friendship and kindness. I will always be your friend, Discord, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Love, Your friend,

Fluttershy.

PS: Strange, my little Angel made me scratch that last part out. Perhaps he’s a little jealous that his mommy has friends?

“Huh, so this is a letter to me, from Fluttershy, making us pen pals now,” Discord said, removing his goggles while tugging at his beard in thought. “I suppose I’m obligated to respond now. At least so she doesn’t get disappointed.”

Pulling out a piece of paper from his left nostril, Discord snorted and huffed and finally blew out the quill in his right. Dapping the end of the quill on his tongue, Discord clicked the feathery end so that a pen’s fine ballpoint appeared at the end of the quill. He began to write, muttering to himself, “I hope that this paper has a spell check program on it.”


Fluttershy hummed a song, one her mother taught her, as she tended to the flower bed with her critters. A few squirrels planted seeds for her, her wonderful bear assisted in pulling the weeds as she watered the flowers. Lilacs, daisies, and even a few tulips were all her latest projects. Fluttershy closed her eyes as she tilted her head down, sprinkling the watering can over the thirsty flowers. Shelter, water, and lots of love. They’re just like animals, without the constant bickering. Even so, I wouldn’t change them for the world. Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile as she watered the flowers, thinking of her lovely animals.

A fluttering of wings tore her attention from the garden. As the wing beats became more audible, Fluttershy set her can down and looked up into the sky, expecting her friend Rainbow Dash. Curiously enough, it was the mailmare. Fluttershy set down the watering can and trotted away from the back of her cottage to the open field.

“Letter for Fluttershy!” Ditzy, Ponyville’s perky pegasus, announced. Just as Fluttershy waved a hoof and began to speak, the mailmare’s flew toward her cottage. Cross-eyed and disorientated, Ditzy missed the mailbox and the door, somehow managing to crash onto the birdhouse to the chagrin of its denizens.

A few minutes later, Fluttershy had Ditzy on her bed, head wrapped in bandages, and quietly sipping soup as Fluttershy tore into her letter. Her eyes scanned over the words, expecting a response from a certain somepony. As soon as she saw the sender, she sighed in relief and began reading.

Dear Fluttershy,

I must say, it was a surprise getting this letter from you so soon. Truth be told, I was never much of a letter writer myself. Hearth’s Warming Eve cards were a bit tricky to do while trapped in stone, plus, the fact that holiday was invented after I got trapped in the first place. As for Sunbutt putting my powers to good use, let’s just say that making it rain mints from the sky wasn’t really appreciated. I mean, come on, now everypony can have fresh breath. Who wouldn’t appreciate that?

As for my ‘new’ type of imprisonment, it isn’t too bad, I suppose. At least I can move around and stretch out a bit, which my stone prison never allowed. Plus, no pigeons! Though I do have that urge to go out and cause chaos again. Some cotton candy clouds could really improve the scenery here. Oh, but I do suppose you and the rest of your friends wouldn’t appreciate that, would they? Seems all my ideas are unwelcome here.

Anyways, don’t cut yourself short, either. You’re not just any unspecial little pony. You’re an unspecial little pony who’s friends with me, Discord! Now isn’t that something to be more proud of than that Element Bearer title, which I must say reeks of pretentiousness. Not that you do, Fluttershy, but I know you’re much better than that.

LOOOOOOOOOVE, Your eternal friend, buddy, companion, amigo, compadre, and bro,

Discord.

PS: Tell your little Angel that we’re really, really good friends and he shouldn’t be jealous at all.

Fluttershy chuckled, expecting nothing less from the spirit of Chaos. To her side, Ditzy finished her soup and called for Fluttershy’s attention. She set down the letter and assisted the mailmare out of bed. Together, they walked out of her cottage back outside. Ditzy gave a few practice flaps, proving herself to be well enough to get home for much needed rest. The mailmare took her bag and saluted Fluttershy, before flying back to the post office.

Fluttershy immediately turned tail and galloped to the letter, exhilarated to write back to Discord. He had accepted her correspondence! He was reformed! She grabbed a quill and immediately set to work, writing a response in glee. I can’t wait to hear from him again!


“Come on, come on already,” Discord said impatiently, tapping his foot on the empty air as he floated above the ground. “The mail is supposed to get here at six on the dot. I hope my watch isn’t broken.” Looking down at the mini sundial he used as a wrist watch, Discord peered up at the clouds blocking out the sun. “Stupid stormy weather.”

“I’m here!” Ditzy shouted from high above. The erratic mailmare was descending at a fast rate, practically dive-bombing to Discord down below.

Humming under his breath while observing the falling Ditzy, Discord took out a marker. Holding his fingers out to judge the rate of descent of Ditzy’s path, Discord stuck out his tongue from the side of his mouth and nodded to himself as he drew an x right next to himself. Leaning on his mailbox while counting under his breath to three, he smiled as Ditzy’s trajectory met its mark.

Which just so happened to be his face.

“Oh, thanks for saving me!” Ditzy said, opening up Discord’s mouth and depositing his mail there. “Anyway, here’s your mail!”

“How wonderful,” Discord muttered through the mail inside his mouth. As Ditzy got up and departed with a goodbye wave, Discord picked himself up and dusted himself off. Spitting out his mail in his paw, his sour mood took a turn for excitement when he saw who the letter is from.

“It looks like the saving grace of pen pals works yet again!” Discord cried out triumphantly, already greedily opening up the letter. “Let’s see what we’re in store for today…”

Dear Discord,

Perhaps Pinkie Pie is rubbing off on me, but I couldn’t help but giggle at the mints. Mints, really? You really are clever, aren’t you? Between you and me, and I do hate gossip, Rainbow Dash and Applejack could certainly use it. Rarity certainly complained about it on the train to the Crystal Empire; you know how she is. Sometimes I’m a little envious of her, how pretty she is and her bravery, but I could never complain as much as her. Wait, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry! Rarity doesn’t complain, she just… finds the potential beauty in things and point it out? I wouldn’t know, I only remember my brief career as a model. Dreadful, scary, I could never do that again. I could never be Rarity.

Speaking of the Crystal Empire, have you ever heard of the Equestrian Games, Discord? It’s quite exciting for ponies to gather from across Equestria and compete together. Maybe someday you can do it too! You’re part pony, right? Technically that means you’re one of us! I think. My talent is my love for animals, but not even I can place a hoof on you. I’m sure if you asked, Princess Celestia would love for you to play games with the ponies! It’d certainly be a positive use of your powers and an excellent way for you to stretch about. Maybe I can ask Twilight to send a letter about it. I’m certain that ponies everywhere would love to see your wondrous tricks and magic.

And thank you, Discord. I’m not worried about not being special anymore, I’ve learned that lesson with my friends since… that minotaur came into town. I’m Fluttershy and I’m happy for it. I’m also Fluttershy, friend of Discord. That does sound a little nicer than ‘Element Bearer,’ doesn’t it? Fluttershy, Discord. Fluttershy, Discord. Kindness, Chaos. Kindness, Chaos.

Sorry for the rambling, but I thought you’d like a little senseless, amusing babble.

Discord’s friend,

Fluttershy.

PS: It didn’t work. He’s learning to sharpen toothbrushes, Celestia knows why. Make sure you write a letter before coming over next time, I don’t want you being skewered by rabid bunnies.

PSS: Don’t tell Princess Celestia, but feel free to make the cotton candy clouds again. As stubborn as they may be, ponies really enjoy those. Just… just make sure pegasi can buck them clear this time, okay? Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie would appreciate it.

“Looks like Angel has become a bigger threat than I thought,” Discord noted. “Better snip that problem in the bud before it becomes a thorn.”

Rereading the letter from start to finish, Discord scratched his head as he peered closer at the wording. “A model? Fluttershy…” Discord briefly blushed as he quickly ran back into the castle. “Hey Celestia, do we have any fashion magazines anywhere?”

Author's Notes:

Flint took care of the Fluttershy parts while I had a ball with Discord. Hope you enjoy the story thus far!

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: Writing Bonds Estimated time remaining: 22 Minutes
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