Off day

Twilight was happily lying in her bed with the newest book in the Daring Do series, Daring Do and the Palace of Magnificence in her levitation spell; she had been looking forward to this day all month. It was the last Sunday of the month which meant that her friendship reports to Celestia had already been sent, along with every major problem in Ponyvill having been solved for the time being. With all of the problems taken care of she could take a break from the hectic demands of her everyday life and finally read the book. She had just opened the book to page one when a sudden knocking at her door distracted her.

“Spike can you answer the please?” she called to Spike who had been experimenting in the lab.

“Sure thing Twilight.” The dragon called back as he made his way to the door. When he opened it he found a very uncomfortable looking Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash hovering a few inches above the ground.

“Hi Spike is Twilight here?” Dash asked in a rushed voice.

“Yeah we need to see her right now!” Fluttershy said uncharacteristically brash and bold.

“She’s reading in her room and told me not to let anypony disturb her.” Spike told them scratching the back of his head nervously.

“To bad Spike we really need to see her!” Dash said flying past him leaving him spinning in her wake, Fluttershy followed just as quickly sending Spike spinning even faster. Spike decided that his job was done and went back to the lab to see if he could get his acidic fire potion right. Twilight looked up from her book in annoyance as her two friends flew into her bedroom. But she quickly realized that something was very wrong with them, both of their feathers had begun to fall out of their wings and their coats looked like something had been gnawing on them.

“What happened to you two?” she asked urgently. Fluttershy spoke first, although not with her usual shyness.

“Well two days ago Dashy invited me on a picnic into the Everfree Forest, and then yesterday we both started to get REALLY, REALLY ITICHY! Now it’s all that we can do not to scratch ourselves to death!” Perplexed Twilight set her book on the nightstand next to her bed and got out her magnified glass. After a few minutes of studying her friends’ coats and wings she started to notice what looked slightly like flees, but they were shaped distinctively like hearts. Twilight facehoofed and asked her friends.

“You two didn’t happen to do anything...entertaining, while you were there did you?” to her surprise both Dash and Fluttershy’s cheeks lit up like the strawberries. “Oh by Celestia, why did it have to be on my off day?!” Twilight sighed as she led her two disgruntled and itchy friends back downstairs and off towards her lab, suddenly someone was knocking on her door very loudly. She told Dash and Fluttershy to stay still and try not to scratch while she went to answer the door. She opened it to find Rarity standing in front with a very large rock balanced on her back

“Darling you have to help me, the worst possible thing happened! Tom says he wants to break off our relationship! He says I don’t appreciate him for his inner glow and his passionate dreams to be a rock star!”

“Rarity what are you doing with that rock in the first place? I thought that you got rid of it after we broke Discord’s control over you!” Rarity just looked at the rock with obvious love and almost cried out

“But Twilight that was before I knew him, he speaks to me in ways that I never imagined!”

“Well I guess he would have to.” Twilight replied somehow managing to keep a straight face, apparently it wasn’t worth the effort because the sarcasm washed over Rarity without her noticing.

“But now Tom says he doesn’t love me anymore and I don’t know what I’ll do without his hardness next to me every night!” Twilight facehoofed again and pulled Rarity and ‘Tom’ into her house. She turned around to find Dash and Fluttershy scratching each other uncontrollably, if she didn’t stop them now it would become scandalous for anypony to be near them. She separated them with a quick spell drawing words of protest from both of them before hearing Spike scream from the lab.

“Twilight the acid is burning through the table and the fire is eating the floor!” Spike yelled causing Twilight to run gallop towards the lab door, before she could reach it however she was interrupted by Pinkie Pie who literally popped out of the floor.

“What now!” Twilight yelled in frustration at the pink pony who didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Hia Twilight watcha doing?” Asked the pink pony who was bouncing up and down directly in the way of the doorway.

“I’m seeing what’s wrong with Rarity’s head, trying to cure Dash and Fluttershy of a case of the Love Flees, and attempting to keep Spike from both killing himself and from burning down my house, in the opposite of that order.” Twilight told Pinkie while she forced her out of the way.

“Ooki dokey loki” her friend told her and then she burst into a song about helping others. Twilight sighed and stepped into the laboratory, the first thing that she noticed was Spike’s body on the ground, the second thing she noticed was the huge amount of smoke radiating from his workbench. What in Celestia could happen next, she thought to herself as she attempted to put out the fire with one of the emergency buckets that she kept in the lab for just such an occasion. But when she threw it on the fire it only made it brighter and hotter, she looked down at the label and almost yelled in frustration, somehow the water bucket had been replaced by one of the new fuels that she had been developing.

She frantically dragged Spike back into the main room only to find that Fluttershy and Dash had advanced into truly advanced levels of scandal, neither one was paying her the least bit of attention they were to enamored with each other. Rarity was busy yelling at ‘Tom’ screaming something about how much she had to put up with to keep their relationship intact. Pinkie was too distracted by her song to notice the chaos going on around her. I’m going to need brain bleach after this, Twilight thought before rushing to the kitchen and filling up a new bucket with sink water and magically charging it with the ability to cover more area before she rushed back into the lab and extinguished the fire. With that problem taken care of Twilight rushed back into the main room and forcibly separated the two pegasi. Without looking behind she magically levitated the two of them back into her lab only to discover that the floor had been eaten away by the acid.

Ignoring the dirt floor Twilight quickly retrieved her Love Flee removal potion and sprayed it all over her two friends who immediately fell asleep thanks to the aftereffects of the potion. She threw them gently into a pile next to Spike and turned to Rarity who was now leaning against ‘Tom’ crying; instead of trying to do anything about it Twilight just hit her in the back of the head with a book causing her to fall to the ground, Twilight then dragged her over to the others. Pinkie finished her song and jumped off of the balcony obviously expecting Twilight to catch her; unfortunately she overshot it and landed head first into ‘Tom’ and fainted immediately from shock. Then Twilight dragged her over to the pile of her friends and sighed with relief, until she saw Apple Jack standing in the doorway lifting an eyebrow at the little pile of ponies.

“This is not what it looks like!” Twilight protested as AJ raised an eyebrow.

“You know Sugarcube if you didn’t want me over you should have told me, I know not everypony likes a cowgirl.” Said AJ, Twilight just stood there with her mouth open gapping with shock, then AJ smiled and shook her said before saying. “I’m just playing Twilight relax you look like Discord broke out or something.”

At the castle of Canterlot Celestia lay in front of the statue of Discord and laughed uncontrollably before she whispered.

“This is the only time I’m letting you get away with this Discord.”

“I only need once Tia, otherwise it wouldn’t be fun!” Discord whispered back laughter flowing through his silent voice in her mind.

As much as I wish that this was completely my idea I actually got a lot of it from a short story written by Jim Butcher about Harry Dresden, still it was really fun to write