A sudden metallic tap rand from my front door, the mail slot still swinging closed as I walked over. I scooped up my mail and sat back on my couch. "Bill...spam...coupons- Oh, Equestrian seal." I tore the offending letter open, working as a clerk for the guard usually meant it was some kind of request that could just as easily be addressed to someone else.

Dear

Check-box

Your presence is needed at the twentieth checkpoint, local garrisons are requesting a clerk to flesh out their logistical teams and you fit the bill. An apartment will be provided on site and instructions will be given once you arrive. You are to leave immediately upon receiving this letter, your possessions and current accommodation will be maintained by the Equestrian Royal guard.

Report to the chariot departure field with no more than one bag.

Glory to Equestria

"Checkpoint twenty...Saddle Arabia!?"

---

I lugged my bag along next to me, the waiting chariot and guard obviously for me. "Check-box, hey!" Flash Sentry ran over. "So you're the one they're sending?"

I tossed my bag into the waiting chariot and turned to him. "Yeah, but why the heck are you here?"

Flash's smile went dark, turning to a deep scowl. "I'm gonna be escorting you there...don't you know what's been going on?"

I shook my head. "No idea, they just said they needed me."

Flash looked around. "It's classified...but...Saddle Arabia just finished up a civil war. They think rebels are trying to get Equestria to act."

I got into the chariot with Flash. "What do you mean act, you're acting so jumpy what's up?"

Flash made sure the ponies pulling the chariot couldn't hear us as we darted off towards the east. "They uh...they've been...kinda-"

"Killing ponies at the checkpoints." one of the drivers boomed at us. "They think killing us will make us roll into their country and stomp it into submission."

I hung my forelegs over the front of the chariot. "That's nuts, why would they even do that- how would they even do that?"

"Flasks."

I turned to Flash, looking for confirmation. He bit his lip hard and nodded. "Bombs...but why, what's the point of it. Won't they lose too if Equestria takes over?"

The driver shook his head. "Have you been out there? We barely have the checkpoint secured, we wouldn't be able to occupy Saddle for months, maybe a full year. By that time the rebels go into hiding, wait for us to leave again, and take over for good."

"Sick bastards." I mumbled as I took a seat across from Flash. "So wait, is that why they're sending me?"

"And Flash." the driver snorted dismissively.

"What!?" Flash yelled, nearly bolting over the front of the chariot. "They said-"

"What they said and what they wrote down are two different things, get over it."

Flash just kept yelling at the drivers, they in turn completely ignored him. The rest of the ride was quiet, too quiet. It gave me time to run through the mental list of all the things that could go wrong. What if somepony throws a flask into the booth, what if I get shot with an arrow, or some unicorn lights me on fire!? What even happened to the last pony they sent, Celestia only knows what happened to them!

I tired to calm down. Having a panic attack now was pointless, panicking later was completely justified so better save it for then. A nap helped pass the trip.

---

We arrived at the guard building, miles away from any town or city. "Gentlecolts, welcome!" none other than the captain himself walked over. "Report to the front desk immediately and get settled in, you start in the morning."

The two drivers unhooked themselves and hurried inside. Flash too started running inside. "Come on, you're gonna want to hurry!"

I slowly walked to the door. "Oh calm down...are you really in such a-" I swung my head out of the chariot and towards the source of his panic. A huge sandstorm was looming on the horizon. "Oh...see...I never understood why anypony lived in Saddle Arabia!" I ran inside, Shining Armor barring the doors once we were all inside.

Flash helped me over to the desk. My bag had made that dash into the building rather taxing, not to mention the horrible heat. We walked over to the desk and met the friendly desk clerk. "Room two thirteen, now get out!" he shoved a bunch of paperwork towards the mare driver.

She picked them up with a grimace and walked off. Next came Flash. "Room two twenty six!" he slid the papers off the desk and onto the floor. "You, don't just stand there!" I straighten up and ran over to him, nearly kicking Flash in the muzzle on accident. "You the new border guard?"

"Yes?"

"Room three ten." he slid the papers to the edge and held them to the table with his hoof. I waited for him to let them go. "You just gonna stand there or you gonna go?"

"Oh...sorry. I just thought-" just as I went to grab them he let them fall to the floor. "Yep...just like that." I picked them up and skulked towards Flash. "What a jerk."

"Totally, but I can't blame him. Being out here a long time must make you an asshole."

I shrugged, nearly tripping as we made our way to the stairs. "Maybe, or maybe he's just an asshole. Then again...if guards out here are anything like back home I can't really hold it against him."

"I guess...well, later." we reached the second floor. Flash bolted through the doors and deeper into the building. I regret not asking for his help with my bag, but after a few minutes of lugging the damn thing up another flight I was there. Or rather mostly there, another sixty feet of dragging until I actually found the room. I pressed inside and found the place as bare as possible, cheap kitchen nook, military issue furniture, flimsy windows with paper thin drapes: perfect for the desert sun!

I threw my bag down and found the one thing non made of cheap plywood. A package on the dining table, which I promptly ripped open. It was some kind of scarf, a small note and a pair of goggles fell out as I unfolded it.

To keep the sand out Was all that was written, or scribbled rather.

I spent the next hour learning how to tie the damn thing, the hour after that learning to get it off, and the hour after that sorting my things. After all that I was exhausted.

Thankfully, either due to the sandstorm or by the sheer fact it was getting late, the entire apartment was a dim amber. I pulled the curtains shut, blocking what little light they could, and settled down onto the couch. The bed proved to be about as soft as a brick wall and I was in no mood to spend anymore time trying to soften it up. No, the couch would suffice for tonight.

I was nearly asleep when the door burst open. Shining Armors voice boomed, "Check-box!"

I rolled off the couch and onto my back. "Fu- yes sir!?"

"Be ready at dawn tomorrow morning, tardiness will not be tolerated."

"Trying sir!" I groaned as I crawled back onto the couch. "Really trying...."

I heard the captain snort. "Don't get smart with me." With that angry rebuttal he slammed the door, leaving me to try and catch some sleep over the sound of sand beating against the cheap window and howling wind beating the whole building. The sun was going to come up way too early...I could tell.

I walked past the guard, his face wrapped up just like mine. The sand storm had eased up but things were still horribly dusty. You could barely see, barely breathe, it was horrible.

I ran into the booth, a small fan already running, trying in futility to steam the burning heat. "This...this place is tiny." I hung my goggles up and looked at the desktop. A few buttons sat to the right while a small pamphlet sat on my left.

I grabbed the pamphlet and opened it up.

The red button turns on the intercom, the black button calls the guard, the lever opens the grate. Until further notice, Equstrian citizens only.

Glory to Equestria

I was getting really sick of Glory to Equestria. This place isn't glorious, this place was a sandy craphole!

I shook my head as I pulled my scarf down across my neck. I pulled the lever and pressed the red button, "Next!"

Within seconds a beige pony with a head wrap walked up. I said my usual chant, "Papers please."

The mare smiled, "I heard the border is open now yes?" she slid her papers through the slot. "Please be quick, I have family to visit.

I stared at the Saddle passport. I quickly found the government issued stamps and slammed the red X down hard, a satisfying peel resounding as I pulled it away. "Equestrians only."

She stared at me befuddled, quickly growing indignant. "This is fascist, you are wrong!" she threw her papers through the slot again. "Give yes stamp now!"

"Equestrians only...leave now or be detained." I slid the papers back through.

She yanked them out and tucked them away. "Fuck you, fascist pig!" she spit at the bottom of the booth before storming off. Such wonderful people...so cultured.

"Next!"

Like clockwork a younger looking purple mare walked over, tossing her things through the slot. "Finally open eh?"

I looked over the Equestrian passport and quickly gave it the green stamp. "Yep, welcome home." I slid the papers back over, the mare took them with a warm smile and hurried off.

I pressed the red button. "Nex-" I was cut off by a loud ticking. "The heck is that?" a single pink ticket popped into view. I hurriedly grabbed the ticket.

WARNING ISSUED: EXPIRED DOCUMENTS

"Expired documents...wait...if they know that then why am I even here!?" I let out a loud groan as I called the next pony.

"Next!"

"Gooood morning!" a red coated stallion trotted over. "So can I go through?"

I stared blankly at the stallion. "Do you have your passport?"

"Oooooh, I thought it was open...I guess that would make sense, I'll be back...eventually." he quickly spun around and darted off. At least he was quick about it. I got the distinct feeling others were going to turn this into a whole big deal.

---

"You have papers, give stamp!"

"Red stamp." I forced the papers back through the slot and closed the grate. The stallion kept jamming them against the slot. "Leave before I call the guard!"

"Sow, fatheaded bison, camel cock!" he continued his verbal tirade as he faded back into the sand.

I let out a long groan as I wiped off my desk. Sand was starting to get everywhere and the little fan was just throwing it around. It was getting hard to focus, both mentally and visibly, but like a trooper I hurried on.

"Next!"

A lime green mare walked over. "Howdy." she slid her papers through the slot.

I quickly checked them over. "Hmm...what's today...." I stared up at the calendar on the wall. "Oh wow, you just made it."

The mare smiled, her head slightly cocked. "Whaddya mean?"

I gave her a green stamp and gave her papers back. "Your papers expire tomorrow!" I added a laugh to try and ease any tension.

"Well dang, thanks partner." she lingered at the checkpoint. "So uh...I'm probably gonna be stayin at the base 'till the storm lets up...you uh...wanna grab a drink?"

I started laughing hard. "Thank but I have a mare back home, I mean if you really want that drink sure but I'm not-" an ear piercing EH-EH-EH cut my words short. The mare looked worried. "Go, go through go go go!" I rushed her along.

Behind her I could see a mare jumping the wall. "Fascist pigs!" It was the first mare, the first damn mare I denied! "Burn for your sins!" she opened her jacket, revealing lines of flasks strapped to her body.

I pulled the lever as fast as I could, the grate slamming into place. I'm not sure what I thought it would do but what else could I do?

She grabbed one off her belts and hurled it at my booth. I felt my heart stop as the sound of breaking glass was quickly overtaken by a muffled explosion. Flashes of pink and blue burst through the thin slits in the grate, but somehow the booth remained standing.

I slowly peered through the grate, the guard was yelling at the mare. The mare in turn just lobbed another flask at the guard. The guard quickly pulled back an arrow, striking one of the flasks and detonating the offending mare. I ducked behind my desk as a large thud rang through the booth, followed by a few more lighter ones on the roof.

Things got quiet after that, so quiet I dared to open my booth. "My legs, my fucking legs!" the guard had lost a good portion of his lower body, the mare I had let through was crawling around in the dust, and the beige mare was in pieces most flung against the grate and wall.

I felt like vomiting, but pushed it aside as I ran out and dragged the dazed mare back towards my booth. "No, get off me- get off!" she kicked and screamed as I pulled her into the booth. Her head was cut, ear sliced apart. All things that can be fixed, but at the time this was pure trauma.

I shook her hard. "Hey, it's me. Look at me!" I kept shaking her until finally she opened her eyes. "I'm alive? I'm alive!" she started smiling, nearly crying as she laughed.

"Listen the guard's coming, you just need to stay calm!"

Her expression quickly turned dark. "I-I can't...hello?!"

"Yes hello, what's wrong?"

"What?!" Oh for the love of Luna's great spotted ass, she's deaf.

I pressed her back against a wall and found a notepad. hastily writing: Guard coming stay here.

"But I-" I shook my head hard and held her in place. "I...okay...." she let the tension in her body go and laid back against the wall of the booth. I went up and jammed the black button a few times, somehow thinking that would make this go faster.

The gate in and out of the country was jammed shut and chunks of the pony were caught up in it, how the booth survived I don't know but I'm not about to go questioning miracles though.

---

Scores of guards rushed over after a few minutes. The rear guard had died, bleeding his last in the sand. I wished I could have helped but trying to stop and entire leg from bleeding with a rulebook and a pamphlet would have just made me look like an idiot. The green mare was taken back to base, and eventually, after everything was cleaned up so was I.

I hurried up the stairs and into my apartment. I threw myself on the bed, it felt amazing, sending me to sleep in a few seconds at best.