“…And that’s mostly it,” Derpy said. “We told the Royal Guards that Cheating Bastard was part of the ninja clan to justify your…” She coughed. “Let’s call that ‘beating’, okay?”

“So he’s probably being interrogated at this very moment,” Turner said. “I’m still amazed by the fact that he was still conscious when you left him.”

“I taught her a couple of tricks before she got up the statue,” Lyra explained. “It’s all about balance, you see? You don’t want them to pass out when you’re having fun.”

“Huh.” Carrot Top frowned. “Well, that was quite the story. We’re lucky we didn’t end up going to jail. Or to the hospital.”

“Yeah, it was.” Vinyl took off her glasses. “Although, Tavi?” She looked at her with emotionless eyes. “I didn’t know you had been flirting with Fleur de Lis.”

“Well, a little bit of fun never hurt anypony,” Octavia said. “I actually saw her one last time before getting out of that place.”

“You did?” asked Turner.

“Yeah.” Octavia winked at him. “We’re going out next Wednesday. I believe it’s gonna be quite the afternoon. Fancy Pants is coming too. Their place.”

Derpy caught the image of Vinyl making a very weird face after hearing this with the corner of her eye, but when she turned to her, the DJ had the glasses on again and she was smiling as brightly as ever. “Well then,” Vinyl said, a little louder than needed, “in the end everything turned pretty much okay, right? Turner’s gonna get a medal, Cheating Bastard is in the hospital, and Octavia has a date.”

“And I stabbed a guy,” added Lyra.

“And Lyra stabbed a guy,” repeated Vinyl. “All in all, it’s been good.”

A couple minutes of silence.

“Turner?” Octavia looked at him. “What did you tell Derpy when Vinyl yelled at you? You never told us.”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how you got the drug out of Derpy’s body.”

Derpy and Vinyl shook her head. “Never.”

“Well then, you might never know.” Turner winked back. “I was just making a safe bet. Which reminds me…” He looked at Derpy. “Don’t we have an agreement, ladies?”

“The day after tomorrow you two come to my place,” said Octavia with a smile. “At eight or something. Cool?”

“Cool.”

“If we have no other option…”

“We could go out the same night,” said Carrot, looking at Bon Bon, Lyra, and Vinyl. “I don’t have any coltfriend now, so I’m free to do whatever I want after all.”

“Sounds exciting,” said Bon Bon with a disgusted face. “I can’t fucking wait.”

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” said Vinyl. Then she frowned. “Carrot? Did you actually talk with Bastard or did you just punch him in the nuts again and again?”

“We talked,” Carrot said. “He said he was sorry. Then I got started.”

“So he apologized?” asked Derpy. “Well, at least he tried to be kind.”

“He said that he just wanted to change positions in bed,” continued Carrot. “He said I was too much of a brute and that I was always the one controlling our sex life. What an asshole.”

Derpy frowned at her friend, confused. Around her, she could see the entire gang doing the same.

Then Bon Bon and Turner snickered. “Yeah. That’s Carrot Top for you,” Turner said.

“We should have seen this coming,” Bon Bon agreed.

The bar’s walls shook with everypony’s laughs shortly after.

Then Carrot Top remembered that Turner had put tracking devices in their food, and once Vinyl explained what that meant, she tried to break his legs. Derpy tried to protect him, but accidentally hit Octavia in the face while doing so. Vinyl started yelling at her, Bon Bon insulted everypony, and then Lyra decided to join the party.

They all ended up at the hospital that night, after all.

But at least they made sure to ask the nurses for their rooms to be as close as possible.

Author's Notes:

Seriously, I had to finish this fic with my worst/best pun. There was no other way. I wonder how many people will get it?

I'll write a sequel sooner or later. There are things that hadn't been explained, after all. Also, Lyra was a best mare in the Royal Wedding, and then she got attacked by the changelings. I'm 100% sure that I'm not the only one who wants to see how this Lyra would react.

Also, where the hell was Blueblood during the events of this fic?