Plodding into the bathhouse I found myself rather alone. It must have been an odd time of day to be in here. Stuffing my belongings into a cubby, I marched my naked ass past the pool, hot tub, and saunas, till I found the showers. A massive communal shower with a colorful mosaic floor and more showerheads than I could count. Snatching up a bottle of coat-wash from a little soap rack, I turned on one of the shower heads and fiddled with it till I had a pleasantly-hot shower going.

I had a face full of suds from shampoo, when hoof beats echoed through the shower room. I hoped it was Key Peg.

“Hello?” A strange voice asked.

Hurrying up to get the soap off my face, I wiped my eyes, to see who was there. “Hi, I’m Shane, just started,” I said to the burly earth pony who was eying me from the doorway. The chestnut stallion was massive, he looked like a highland pony that Schwarzenegger had taken as a personal project.

“Oh! I heard about you. I’m Plowshare.” His stern look flipped to a friendly one. Walking up next to me, he turned on and tuned in two shower heads with practiced ease. “I was hoping somepony would be in here,” he said as he began soaping up.

“Why is it so empty in here anyway?”

“All the guys are either off or about to start a session this time of day. Unless you have an early appointment like I did. You need me to wash your back?” He picked up a scrub brush and looked ready to wash me down at a nod.

I wonder if there are talking deer in this world too. I should probably go live with them since I’m getting my deer-in-headlights look down pat.

Plowshare, deciding I hadn’t understood him, waggled the brush in imitation of scrubbing, then did his best to touch his own spine.

Big McLargehuge was not on my list of ponies I wanted to make a social faux pas with, so I decided to just roll with it. “Sure ...” I said, taking a knee so he could reach me. “Is this why you all like using the communal shower over your private ones?”

Plowshare laid into my back with a solid scrubbing, neither harsh nor delicate. I probably would have enjoyed it, if I had let myself.

“Yea, and gossip,” he finally answered after I had been thoroughly scrubbed. Setting the brush next to me, he stood back from the shower’s spray, legs straight and head lowered; this was obviously a reciprocal favor.

I relaxed a bit as I put a little soap on the brush and began scrubbing along his back. This was more familiar to me than the other way around. “So, what’s the good gossip?”

“You.”

“Is that bad?”

He didn’t say anything till I had finished the favor, and had hung the brush back up, but finally answered me when he stepped back under the water to rinse off. “Na, everypony seems to like you. We’re taking bets on what’ll happen when you get a mare in heat.”

I thought about that while we rinsed off. I had assumed there'd be no genetic compatibility, but I didn’t know that. The world was rife with chimeras, and didn’t seem too worried about sticking to the laws of science I knew. “Good question,” I mused aloud, as I turned off my shower.

“We’ll find out soon enough,” Plowshare said, turning his showers off too. “Lets go hit the hot tub.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

I had barely stepped out of the shower room, when I heard Key Peg’s familiar voice. “Hay! Finally decided to lose the clothing I see,” he called, trotting up to us.

After a quick introduction, I shooed the two over to the hot tub. Being naked in a bathhouse was one thing, idle banter in the cold air was another. Plowshare only soaked with us for a few minutes. Any longer would have been “bad for sperm count” which is true, but again, not something I’m used to thinking about. Not that I’m going to have to start thinking about it either, I hope.

We stayed a bit after Plowshare left, but finally decided it was time to head home. It had been a hectic weekend, and we both liked the idea of a quiet evening with a good book. We opted to have dinner in the mess hall that night, which I kinda regretted; daisy-burger was on the menu. Daisy-burgers are edible in only the strictest sense, and only with hot sauce.

Key Peg was already on shift by the time I woke up the next morning. I had to be on duty myself soon, so breakfast was dry cereal. Their breakfast cereal is delicious, one of the few things I honestly prefer over what I used to eat.

A few minutes later, I was walking into the castle proper, ready to start my day of walking laps around the palace delivering letters and packages. I’d have to turn in my notice today too. I really was dreading that. You see, my job was by special appointment, by Celestia. That meant there was only one pony that could accept my resignation. Well, two, but Luna scares the shit out of me.

I had a set pattern for the first few hours of the day; letters to here, packages to there. The random note swapping from one side of the castle to the other. I was a one man post office for the castle. I had endeared myself with the real postal service by gathering all the out-going mail into one place at the end of every day. But that was later, now I just passed notes.

It never failed, sometime before lunch I would always end up with a box or scroll addressed to “Celestia’s study”, and today was no exception. I had rather hoped for it actually, since my other option was to make an appointment with her court.

The door guards began our little ritual as soon as I rounded the corner. They pretended not to see me till I was directly in front of them. Then I announced myself, while presenting the two scrolls and a box, that I had collected from the south wing. They “inspected” them, and then allowed me to approach the door.

Giving the door my customary knock, I counted down.
4
3
2
1
“Come in, Ambassador Shane,” Celestia said from inside.

Ambassador, it was a title only a few ponies knew about, and even fewer used. Some old law required all friendly civilizations to have an ambassador. It gave me exactly no privileges, other than being considered an Equestrian citizen; I always wanted a dual citizenship...

Celestia was behind her desk reading something. Again I followed my ritual. I placed the delivery on the corner of her desk, then gave her a polite bow. The same one my sensei drilled into me in kenpo class, fifteen years ago.

In public, or when Luna was around, I would bow by taking a knee, but in private Celestia seemed annoyed when I, or anypony, bowed with more than quick nod. That I had picked up on this seemed to endear me to her.

“I hear you have a new job,” Celestia said. Her words hung in the air for a moment, before she added, “at my stable."

That was a strong declaration. Not the stable, or Canterlot’s stable, but her stable. Celesta rarely spoke of things possessively, only her subjects were held that close to her. She had been drinking from the same teacup since before the Magna Carta was written, and she only deemed that, the cup. Did I mention I take great pains to not touch anything in her office?

“Yes, Princess. I was about to ask you how I should resign my duties here.”

Celestia’s stern look cracked at my own seriousness. She didn’t laugh, but her voice teetered on a giggle. “Of all the things I imagined you doing, this was not something I had thought about. I honestly didn’t know what to say when Ruby Heart asked me about you the other day.”

The mention of Ruby Heart perked my curiosity; she hadn’t mentioned anything about Celestia.

“Ruby Heart was worried she had overstepped her bounds when she invited you to ... interview. She came to me for permission after you left that first day.” Celestia answered my unvoiced question.

“And you’re okay with this?”

“It is a little outside my stable’s commision, but I see where she’s coming from. As long as you make my ponies happy, I will consent to it.”

There it was again, “my stable” I had to ask. “Forgive me princess, but you’re not one to call many things ‘mine’, why has that stable earned such a title?”

Celestia flashed a curious look at me before the giggle hiding in the thought finally came out. Looking me square in the eyes she said. “Because that was built for me as a gift, to hold my harem of stallions.”

Her words jolted me, and I think I made a funny sound too, because it made her actually laugh. Holding up a hoof, she gathered herself. “Oh, I am sorry, but the look on your face was worth it. Those were very different times, my stable serves to strengthen all of Equestria now.”

“I’m still reading up on your history. It’s pretty thick reading,” I said changing the subject. A look form Celestia told me she knew I was doing as much. “How should I turn in my notice then?” I asked.

“This is good enough. The castle has become spoiled to having an in-house mailpony, so I’m recruiting a pony from the mail service to replace you. He will report to you tomorrow, and shadow you till you believe he has the hang of things. You are free to leave at your discretion after that.”

“Thank you for everything, Princess,” I said, bowing again. Picking up the neatly stacked pile of outgoing mail, I took a step back to leave. Celestia returned my gesture with a nod, and went back to reading.

Formally dismissed, I turned to leave. My hand had just touched the door when she spoke up again. “I will miss our conversations. Perhaps I’ll come visit sometime. For ... conversation.”

I just bowed once more, and tucked out of the room. Outside, the two guards were doing a very good job of not looking like they had been listening to the conversation, but a strangled snicker from one gave them away. I decided keep my mouth shut and sort through Celestia’s mail before adding it to my bag. There were a few to go to the post office, but most were for me to deliver in-house. One was even to Luna.

Not my favorite place to deliver, but I always leave Luna’s mail with her guards. Maybe Strawberry was on shift, I still owed him five bits anyway.

So off I went, delivering my mail within the castle walls. I had to put off Luna’s delivery till the end of my day; her office didn’t open till right before my shift ended. Otherwise, I would have run it over immediately, hoping she was still asleep. I’m told neither of the sisters sleep very long, but it’s pretty rare to see Luna before three.

I was in luck when I got there—Strawberry was on shift, but I didn’t recognize the other guard. “Mail call, and I have your bits too,” I called. “And I thought that was supposed to be strawberry wine, not strawberry moonshine. I think that stuff gave me liver damage.”

“I can’t help it if you’re a lightweight,” Strawberry said, taking a step forward to meet me. With one leathery wing, he formally took the package, while I slipped the bits into his other wing.

I had to laugh—the wine had been really good. I probably should have figured out how strong it was before drinking a second glass. I’ll be nursing on the rest of the bottle for a week or two.

Strawberry looked at the box for a moment before handing it right back to me. “That seal means it’s for Princess Luna’s hooves only. You’ll have to be the one to give it to her”

The othe guard rapped twice on the door with no further prompt.

Crap ... Celestia set me up.

“Enter,” Luna bellowed from the other side of the door.

My stomach dropped at her voice. I really wanted to be anywhere else but here right now. I had promised to do a job; there was nothing to do about it now. Strawberry gave me a sympathetic look as he opened to door for me. Walking into the dragon’s den, I did my best to swallow my fear. ‘I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer ...’ I chanted to myself.

Stepping into the vestibule, I surveyed the room. While Celestia’s office had a very collegiate feel to it, Luna’s could best be called a lounge; mahogany and silver seemed her favorite materials. If I’d learned she had poker with the girls in here while a stallion sang jazz, I wouldn’t have been surprised. Luna had her back to the door when I entered, something I’d never known Celestia to do. She was bent over a table, working on something, a model perhaps.

I didn’t wait for her to turn and see me. Not getting further from the door than I felt necessary, I bowed, taking a knee, and held the package out and up. “Package for you, your highness.”

“Rise,” she said, as the package lifted from my hand. I did as I was told, favoring the leg I had knelt on, allowing me to sneak a step closer to the door. Luna gave me an annoyed look; I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought, apparently.

“Do you still fear me that much?” she asked, the box still floating above her.

The idea of honesty is very different here; it's much more absolute. You tell the truth, or you do not, motivation behind the lie is meaningless. As ignoring the question was not an option, I found the best truth I was willing to tell her.

“Yes.” Well, that wasn’t quite as poetic as I had hoped for.

Luna’s expression wilted a bit. It was the first time I had seen her relax in any way. Her ‘clockwork empress’ mask crumbled as she floated the package to the ground, and met my eyes with something of a wounded puppy look. “I am sorry I yelled at you, but when you proclaimed me the ‘evil sister’ with such fervor as you laid upon me ... it opened old wounds.”

So I should mention how I met Luna. It was right after I had been taken off the airship, and brought to the castle, where I was pretty sure I was in Oz at that point, and Celestia was the good witch. So when Luna and her guards showed up, moments after Celestia cast the babble-fish spell on me, I kinda made a scene ...

“As my nocturne have forgiven you for calling them hideous flying monkies, I will forgive you for dumping a bucket of water on me while chanting ‘melt, evil enchantress, melt’.” The look on her face told me she was trying to find the humor in the situation, but failing.

Okay, so maybe I made a really big scene. I felt bad about that, especially after Luna’s history had been explained to me. I could only be thankful that the word witch had no real translation in Equestrian. “I am very sorry, Princess Luna, I was not in a sound state of mind.”

“I of all ponies should be willing to forgive that. I appreciated the letter of apology you sent. I should have responded.”

This was good. This was the first time I've ever been near Luna without feeling like she was restraining herself from flinging me out the nearest window.

“So let us quit apologizing, and see what my sister has used to send you here,” she said, her magic returning to the little box, this time tearing it open. She gave the contents a curious look before floating them out so I could see. Four beautiful shoes came out of the box, all apparently carved from ruby.

I had to snicker. Apparently, Celestia had related the story of Oz to Luna as well, since my snicker seemed to give her permission to let loose a laugh that she had been holding back. We both laughed till we cried. The best kind of therapy really. We talked a bit more after the fact. Luna intended to regift the shoes to someone named Cadance, as both an inside joke, and an honest gift she would enjoy.

Luna showed me what she had been working on. It was the engine from my ultralight. I couldn’t believe The Baron had survived; I had assumed he had been lost overboard at some point. Turns out he had gotten stuck in the rigging deep enough that it had taken quite a bit of work to get him out. After that, Luna had taken it to study, and currently had it stowed not far from where I’d almost gotten the glass job. She said she would give it back whenever I wanted it; I really couldn’t thank her enough. It was going to be a while before I could see how much damage he actually took, but with a little luck I’d get him up again. After all, I had a whole new world of tools and materials at my disposal now. Just needed the bits to get them.

My mood seemed contagious to Luna, and she had me teach her about the little engine. I spent the better part of the evening teaching her basic engine repair. She found the technology strange and of little use, but seemed intent on learning about it just for the sake of learning.

Key Peg had a good laugh at me when I finally got home. Falling victim to one of Celestia’s kiss-and-make-up schemes officially christened me as a castle regular.