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The SweetieMash Chronicles

by Justice3442

Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Button Mash, Colt of Action

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The SweetieMash Chronicles



Chapter 4: Button Mash, Colt of Action

-oooooooo-

Button Mash trotted out of the school house into the warm, sunlit Ponyville day. His game-pad saddlebags bouncing lightly as he walked down the few schoolhouse steps and onto a worn path. The propeller that adorned his beanie spun round and round as he put some distance between him and the school.

“Finally!” he sighed out.

Button trotted past the groups of giggling foals towards a familiar, comfortable tree, sat his saddlebags down, and poked his head into one. He fished out a rectangular device with buttons on the side and a screen near the top.

Button leaned his back against the tree, turned on his device and smiled.

“Your days are numbered now, Dr. Ponotnik,” Button said, smiling excitedly to himself.

Button settled in for a nice, peacefully, uneventful day of…

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, YAY!”

Button peered up from his device, as he noticed Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom excitedly chatting away.

“So, what are going to do today?!” Scootaloo asked excitedly.

“Ah know!” Apple Bloom said. “Hair stylist!”

“Love it!” Scootaloo replied.

“My sister says we aren’t allowed near her hair straightener after we almost set her cat on fire.” Sweetie Belle said.

“But her fur was just a little singed…” Apple Bloom whined.

“Ooo! I got one! Street Sweepers!” Scootaloo suggested.

“We tried that already…” Sweetie Belle reminded, “the Mayor asked us to stop when we hit bedrock.”

“Hey! Watcha girls playing?” Button called out trotting up to the group. “Can I play?”

“Hey Button,” Sweetie Belle said with a small smile and a nod.

“Heya, Button!” Apple Bloom said happily.

“Yo.” Scootaloo said.

“We’re not playing anything,” Sweetie Belle explained. “We’re crusading for cutie marks.”

“Oh, cool!” Button exclaimed. “Sounds fun!”

“It is fun.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Most of the time…” Scootaloo added.

“When things go as planned.” Apple Bloom said.

“Which is pretty much never.” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom sighed, “Yeah…”

“We still have fun trying, at least!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“So uh… can I crusade for cutie marks with you?” Button asked.

The three fillies exchanged quick, unsure glances.

“Huddle up, girls!” Apple Bloom called.

The three fillies locked their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“I thought you said he didn’t care about his cutie mark.” Scootaloo said.

“Well… he doesn’t,” Sweetie Belle admitted, “but we can’t just leave him alone…” She nodded her head towards the young colt. “I mean, look how happy he is just to be talking to us.”

The three glanced over at Button who continued to wait patiently for a response, his mouth pulled open wide in an eager, goofy, full toothed smile.

The three fillies turned back into their huddle.

“Ah say we take him with us, the more the merrier!” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo thought about this, “Well… alright… Hey! I know how he can be a lot of help.”

“Scooataloo…” Sweetie Belle uttered in a warning tone as she leveled suspicious eyes at Scootaloo.

“Don’t worry! I won’t make him do anything we wouldn’t do.” Scootaloo insisted.

The three went silent.

“Is anypony else a little scared that that’s not reassurin’… like… at all?” Apple Bloom asked.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo merely hung their heads in response.

“So uh…” Button interrupted.

“You’re in!” Scootaloo said as the three fillies broke their huddle.

“Yay!” Button cried as he enthusiastically rose on his backlegs and waved his forehooves about.

“But you have to be our point man,” Scootaloo added.

“’Kay,” Button replied. “What’s that?”

“It means you’re the first to try our crusading ideas,” Scootaloo said. “You know…like our front lines.”

Cooool!” Button said.

“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“What?” Scootaloo replied. “He’s a man… uh… sorta…”

“I’m with Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said. “It don’t feel right makin’ Button do our dirty work for us.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle agreed, “he could get hurt!”

“Fear not, damsel!” Button said heroically as he zipped over to Sweetie Belle and placed his forearm around her shoulders. “For I, Button Mash, will bravely face down any dangers that might befall us on our epic quest!”

Sweetie Belle cocked an eye at Button, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Well, I’ve tanked before,” Button explained, as he sat back down on his haunches, “I know how to draw agro.”

Sweetie Belle’s ear’s flopped down and she knitted her brow, “What?”

“I think he said he used to be a tank,” Scootaloo said.

“That doesn’t make sense!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“I’m not sure what drawin’ crops has do with anythin’, neither…” Apple Bloom added.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle!” Button pleaded. “I wanna do it! Let me be point man! Please!?

“Well, if you’re sure…”

Button nodded his head up and down vigorously.

Scootaloo smiled. “Then it’s settled.”

-ooooo-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BASE JUMPERS, YAY!”

Button peered over the roof of the Apple family’s barn at the unforgiving ground below and gulped. He then glanced at the pack on his back.

Sweetie Belle joined him and peering over the side. “Uh, girls? I’m not sure this is very safe.”

“It’s base jumping!” Scootaloo reminded. “It’s not supposed to be safe.”

“Well, this just seems a bit more unsafe than usual…” Sweetie Belle added.

“Are ya sure these parachutes are gonna work?” Apple Bloom asked looking over to Scootaloo.

“They’re parachutes! You pull the string and they open!” Scootaloo insisted. She trotted over next to Button Mash and pointed a forehoof out to a bush on the ground, “And you can just aim for that for a nice soft landing!”

Sweetie Belle interjected, “I’m still not sure…”

“It’s alright, Sweetie Belle!” Button said. “I trust her!”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged a quick glance then looked back at Button. “You do?” they said in unison.

Button Mash nodded, “And as point man, it is my duty… no my honor to brave the dangers for the benefit of our epic quest! For I am, Button Mash, Colt of Action!” Button declared as he stood up on his back legs and held a forehoof into the air for dramatic effect. Without a second thought, he jumped off the roof and pulled the cord on his parachute. “GeeeeronnimOUCH!

Button fell like a rock, his parachute scarcely making it out of the pack before landing on a heap on top of him and the bushes.

“ARRRRRRRRRGH! It hurts! IT HURTS! THE AGONY! STABBING ME FROM ALL DIRECTIONS!”

“Button! Are you alright?!” Sweetie Belle called out in concern.

“HOW COULD A BUSH BE MADE OUT OF PAIN?!

“HOLD ON, BUTTON! I’M COMING!” Sweetie Belle cried shrilly.

Apple Bloom quickly rushed over and peered over the side, “Wait, Sweetie Belle! That’s a…”

Sweetie Belle jumped off the roof and pulling her chute string, effectively mimicking the same results as Buttons just seconds ago.

AIEEEEEEEEOWIE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Apple Bloom sighed, “…Thorn-berry bush…”

The parachute covered bush vibrated and pulsated as Button Mash and Sweetie Belle screamed and shrieked, attempting to free themselves from their tangled parachutes and twisted mass of thorny vines.

“Ooooh…” Scootaloo uttered, “I totally forgot thorn-berry bushes have thorns…”

“How can ya forget something like that?!” Apple Bloom demanded, motioning a forehoof out to Scootaloo. “It’s right in tha name!”

Scootaloo shrugged. “What am I, a bushtologist?”

“STOP THRASHING! YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!” Sweetie Belle screamed.

“But the PAIN,” Button cried, “It surrounds me on all sides! GO ON WITHOUT ME SWEETIE BELLE, I’M DONE FOR!”

“I can’t go on without you, I’m STUCK!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.

“REMEMBER ME AS THE BRAVE COLT THAT LEAPED INTO DANGER FOR THE GOOD OF THE FELLOWSHIP!”

“Well, I WOULDN’T have to remember you if our FRIENDS would just come down here and GET US OUT!” Sweetie Belle answered, her voice continually climbing octaves into ranges that threatened to give dogs splitting headaches.

“We should probably go help them,” Apple Bloom said as she stared down at the bush.

“On it!” Scootaloo replied, shifting her weight back into her haunches.

“SCOOTALOO!” Apple Bloom cried as she refocused her attention on the orange pegasus.

Scootaloo stopped and turned to Apple Bloom. “What?!”

“You were gonna jump!”

“Uh…” Scootaloo looked down at the thrashing mass of thorn bush and parachutes, “…you can’t prove that!”

“Let’s jus’ take the ladder,” Apple Bloom said, as she narrowed suspicious eyes at Scootaloo.

The two fillies made their way across the barn roof and down the ladder, trotting over to the thorn-berry bush that was now, strangely quiet.

“Hi Apple Bloom, Hi Scootaloo.” Button Mash said.

“Not a word, Scootaloo…” Sweetie Belle said in a warning tone. “Not a word…”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo raised forehooves to their muzzles and stifled giggles as they looked into the bush.

Button Mash was suspended by vines and strings, his legs sprawled out in all directions and he had smears of purple juice all over his fur. Sweetie Belle was in a similar state, except she was upside down and on top of the young colt. Her smears stuck out like a sore thumb on her white coat. Additionally, the two’s parachutes had completely tangled up with each other and the foals, lashing the two together.

Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s hooves quickly proved insufficient for the task of holding in the fillies’ laughter.

Pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Uh, girls?” Button Mash began. “As point man, I highly recommend not jumping.”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “It’s a little late for that, Button…”

“HAHAHAhahehehehe…” Scootaloo managed to gain some control over her giggle fit. “Do you… pft… do you two need us to come back later? Hehehe… you seemed a bit tied up at the moment… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“GET US OUT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Hehehe… Alright…” Apple Bloom said. She and Scootaloo poked their heads into the bush clamped their teeth around one of the parachutes. They began backing up, attempting to pull the parachute and the attached foals out of the bush.

The fabric stretched as the two dug their hooves into the ground and struggled against the resistance of the material. The parachute and those attached to it were firmly bound to the bush.

“PULL HARDER!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Whewef twyin’!” Apple Bloom replied through a mouth full of parachute.

Scootaloo simply let out a determined “Grrrrrr…” as she continued to back up with her share of the parachute, the task getting increasingly more difficult.

Apple Bloom suddenly lost her footing, placing a back hoof onto a small rock that slipped out from under her.

AWWHH!

WHHHAA!

“NO WAIT! OTHER WAY!” Sweetie Belle screeched.

“Uh-oh…” Button muttered.

The taunt parachute pulled the two fillies directly into the bush and into the tangled mass of limbs and string that were Button Mash, Sweetie Belle, and their parachutes.

“Ooofff!”

OWIE!

“OW!”

OUCH!

“ARRRRGH!” Scootaloo screamed. “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY THORNS IN THORN-BERRY BUSHES?!”

“THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN WE TRIED TO GET OUR TRAILBLAZING CUTIE MARKS IN THE EVERFREE FOREST!” Sweetie Belle screeched.

“Oh! Thorn-berries!” Apple Bloom said, as she craned her neck out and nibbled on some of the purple buries dangling in front of her.

“WHY IS THIS BUSH FULL OF SUFFERING?!” Button Mash wailed as the three fillies on top of him continued to struggle against their spiky bounds.

After much time spent struggling, flailing, arguing, the four foals finally exited the bush…or what was left of it after all the struggling, flailing, and arguing reduced it to a broken heap of vines.

“Ouch!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as Button clamped his teeth around a thorn in her upper arm and pulled it out. She rubbed the tender spot with a forehoof and gave Button a small smile, “Thanks.”

Button smiled back, “No problem.”

Sweetie Belle suddenly knit her brow and took a long hard look at Button’s face.

“Uh…what’s wrong?” Button asked. “Do I have a thorn on my face or…”

Sweetie Belle suddenly leaned in close to the young colt.

Button’s face flushed red as Sweetie Belle closed the distance between the two to inches, and quickly to nothing as she opened her lips slightly, placed her mouth over a thorn that was right under his nose, and quickly pulled it out.

“OUCH!” he exclaimed.

Sweetie Belle spit the thorn out of her mouth. “Yes,” she answered.

Button stared at Sweetie Belle with wide eyes as he placed his forearm over his mouth.

“Uh Button? Are you okay?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Button said nothing, and only continued to stare. Oh my gosh?! Was that my first kiss? Does that count as my first kiss?! Maybe I should ask mom! But… what if she makes me marry Sweetie Belle?! I’M NOT READY FOR THAT SORT OF COMMITMENT!

Sweetie Belle blinked a few times and waved a forehoof in front of Button. “Button? Helloooo…?”

“Well, that was a bust.” Apple Bloom commented as she raised her forearm to her mouth and clenched her teeth around a thorn.

“Maybe we need to jump from someplace higher!” Scootaloo suggested, likewise pulling thorns from her limbs.

“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom responded, “Ah don’t think we’re gonna get our cutie marks in base jumpin’!”

“Fine!” Scootaloo said. “We’ll just need to think about something else, then…”

Sweetie Belle shot a concerned look over towards her friends, “I’m not sure we should put Button through any more trauma… he seems… a bit… frazzled.”

“I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO TANK!” Button Mash declared as he emerged from his stupor.

“… Well that was an unfortunate choice of words…” Sweetie Belle mused.

Scootaloo smiled, “I like him! He’s got guts!”

“His guts are exactly what I’m worried about!” Sweetie Belle said.

“He has taken an awful lot punishment,” Apple Bloom added.

Button Mash suddenly zipped in front of the girls. “I can do this!” he exclaimed, once again raising a forehoof into the air. “As a heroic adventure of Equestria, it is my responsibility to lay it all on the line and face any and all dangers that come my way!” Button lowered himself back down, “Besides, it’s good XP.”

The three crusaders exchanged glances.

“Huddle up, girls!” Apple Bloom said.

Once again, the three fillies circled up, placing forearms over each other’s shoulders.

“I’m not so sure about this, anymore…” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“What?! He’s awesome!” Scootaloo insisted. “He jumped into a thorn-berry bush from a roof and is ready for more! We’ll have our cutie marks in no time with Button as our point man!”

“Scootaloo has a point,” Apple Bloom said. “He sure is enthusiastic about helpin’ us.”

“Besides,” Scootaloo said as she glanced at Sweetie Belle, “you were the one who said we shouldn’t leave him alone! Look how happy he is just to be included!”

The three fillies quickly looked over to Button who had reapplied his eager, goofy grin despite his now disheveled and berry juice covered look.

The three turned to face each other once more.

“Oh, alright…” Sweetie Belle sighed out.

The crusaders broke their huddle and turned to Button Mash.

“The quest continues!” Scootaloo declared.

“Yay!” Button cried, once again standing on his back legs and waving his forelegs about victoriously.

Button lowered himself to the ground, “Button Mash, Colt of Action, is ready for round two!” Button smiled and rolled his eyes, “Besides, it’s not like it can get any worse than being stuck in a thorn-berry bush.”

The three fillies plastered on giant, fake smiles and gulped.

Next Chapter: Chapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY! Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 40 Minutes
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