"Hello ladies and gents! It is I, Nero, Emperor of Chaos and de facto commander of the entirety of the Legions of CHAOS!!!”

“Well, not exactly! You see I only control… the Dark Mechanicum, the Black Legion and its Black Knights, the Chaos Guard, the Chaos Orks of Chardon, The Chaos Tau, the Chaos Necrontyr of Kronus, and the Chaos Eldar warband, Excessive Violence. While it’s not the entire roster my armies are still capable of going genocidal on your ass!”

“Speaking of which, I am talking you miserable mongrels on how I acquire some Eldar servants!”

First off, it was fucking warping hard! Wait… just to emphasize I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE DARK ELDAR FUCKS!!! THEY KEEP STEALING MY TROOPS FOR THEIR VOYAGES OF ‘FUN’ IN THE MULTIVERSE!!!

THAT Asdrubael Vect FUCKER lets his pathetic underlings steal as many of my Chaos Guard Regiments as possible! I have lost more men to these Dark Fucks than the Rebel Orks and Necrons combined! Nevertheless, their efforts are merely an annoyance, for every one of my weak and pathetic regiments they take; a HUNDRED MILLION MORE… stand ready to take their place!

Oh crap, rambling too much anyway back to the Craftworld Eldar. It all started with Craftworld Alaitoc, the strictest of the Eldar craftworlds. They have a higher proportion of Exarchs, but also lots of rangers and pirates. Anyway, long story short I used my Orks as bait, they get their stupid asses slaughtered, while Illic Nightspear (I assume he lived through the Horus Heresy and is as old as Eldrad Ulthran is) rallies the various ranger and pirate groups to victory. This was the first battle where I deployed my special Daemon Engines, such as the Wraithdread and the Forgewraith.

There you go folks! How I, because I’m so smart, ‘persuaded’ the Eldar back into the fold of Chaos! And for all you Wh40k fanboys out there, yes IT IS FUCKING POSSIBLE!!! It just take someone, like little badass me, that has detailed knowledge of the multiverse to do it! Oh yeah not coming from this fucked up Universe does count. Seriously, these guys are the big daddies of the loco party!

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