i write or type my stories in a sorta play/script format i am in dire need of advice plz place a comment to let me know what to add, remove, or fix thanks.

cheats:

name:  - a character speaking

(words) - event/action happening

????:  - unknown character

name: ...  - character pause or will be interrupted

name: (words)  - characters facial of sudden actions

example:

(it is a normal day in ponyville the pegasus ponies where managing the clouds and the earth ponies where selling, planting, and trotting around the dust road under the celestia given sun, twilight is siting under an umbrella levitating a book open to close to the end. as she turns the page she hears a familiar voice calling her name)

????: TWILIGHT OVER HEAR!!!!

(twilight turns and sees her good friend pinkie pie jumping around with her saddle bags almost falling off as she comes closer to twilight  and stops a foot away from her)

pinkie pie: twilight i just got the most amazing thing in the mail today guess what it is!

twilight: well is it...

pinkie pie: (squee) OH i just cant wait look!!!

(pinkie some how using her hair to pull out a small box with a yellow jem on the top of the lid)

twilight: ... its a box.

pinkie pie: its not just a box it has my candy of the month in it. this month its lemon taffy!

(twilight rolls her eyes and smiles placing her eyes back into her book enjoying the day