Twilight, a lavender unicorn mare, stood with her papers on the side of the street, trying to get people to sign them. It was obvious that she wasn’t getting very far, as more ponies just passed her by. Caring Hooves. Will you lend a caring hand, to shelter those who need it? Only have to sign your name. Don’t even have to read it. Would you help? No? How about you?

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is hiding, looking over at the pasteurizing Cowrier truckers. The Trucker, a brown maned pony, leaves behind her cattle. Dash throws a device and it sticks to one of the cattle, who was chewing cud and barely noticed its presence. This cow was carrying something in its saddle bags.

Dash fishes out a hoof usable radio controller. She attempts to start it when, suddenly, a mare appears behind her. It was Twilight. Will you lend a caring hand-.

“Ah! Ah. Ah.” Dash said, intelligently. “What?”

“Oh, um, I was just wondering if, um, if I could just… Hey, I know you.”

“Hello, you know me, cool. I mean, yah, you do. Do you?”

“From the Laundromat.”

“Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last month, you skipped the weekend.” Twilight looked at Dash incredulously. “Or if that was you. Could have been someone else. I mean I have seen you. Dash is my name.”

“I’m Twilight. I am out here volunteering for the Caring Hooves Homeless Shelter. Can you spare a minute?”

Dash looks back at the cattle, and, after noticing the guard is still vacant, turned back to Twilight. “Okay, go.”

She unrolled a paper. “Okay, um, we are hoping to open up a new location soon, to expand our efforts. There is this great building nearby that the cities just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot. But if we get enough signatures-.”

“Signatures,” Dash scoffed. Twilight glowered at him. She took the second to look back to check on the cowrier van.

“Yah.”

“I’m sorry. Go on.” She said, turning back to Twilight.

“As I was saying, um, if we get enough signatures, we can get the city to donate the building to our cause. We would be able to provide ponies with 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training.” Dash snuck a peek again at the cowrier van, noticing that the trucker had started to return. Twilight noticed. “So they could buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become forests. You’re not really interested in the homeless are you?”

“No, I am, but they are a symptom. Your treating a symptom, and the disease rages on, consumes the pony race. The fish rots from the head, as they say. So my thinking is that why not cut off the head.”

“Of the pony race.”

“It’s not a perfect metaphor, but I am talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting the power in… different hands.” She looked around sheepishly, seeing if just maybe the mare saw through her ruse.

“I am all for that,” Twilight said, smiling and nodding. “This petition about the building…”

“I would love to sign it.”

“Thank you.”

“Sorry, I come off strong.”

“But you signed!”

“Wouldn’t want to turn my back on a fellow… laundry pony.” Dash smiled, knowing that was the weakest joke ever.

“If we can’t be seen together, I don’t…” beep beep beep. Dash turned back to the cowrier van, where the trucker was loading up a silver briefcase marked ‘Milkophlonium’. This took his attention from Twilight. “I will probably see you there,” she said, walking away from the now preoccupied Rainbow.

“No, I will. I’ll-.” Dash turned back to see that Twilight had left. She mentally hit herself, knowing he had failed in his first time talking to Twilight. She walked over to a staircase. A Mare's Gotta Do

“She talked to me,” Dash said, increduosly. “Why did she talk to me now.”

“Maybe I should…” Dash scoffed at herself.

A mares got to do what a mares got to do. Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through. She then dawns her goggles and white lab coat.

All that matters is taking matters into your own hands. Soon I’ll control everything. As Dash presses the button on the controller and the cow starts to move, galloping away from the trucker. My wish is your command.

Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. A mare had jumped onto the top of the cow, trying to get it to stop, and, evidently, failing. Just imminent danger, and in the middle of it ME!

Yes, Captain Jackhammer’s here, hair flowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertiiiiise! She grabbed for the metallic item on the cow, punching her hoof straight into it, making the cow start waving uncontrollably. A maaaare’s gotta do what a maaare’s gotta do. Applejack jumped off the vehicle, making goggle eyes at one of the mares on the side of the road. It seems destiny ends with me saving you.The cow continues down the road, turning sharply into an alleyway. Twilight walks out, unnoticing of the danger. When she see’s it, she is shocked still. The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death. Applejack, seemingly out of nowhere, pushes the mare into a load of garbage bags, as if to save her from imminent peril. So I will give you a second to catch your breath. At the same time, Dash is attempting to stop the cow by the remote, unsuccessful thus far because Applejack had smashed the transmitter. Then, all of a sudden, it responded, coming to halt right in front of Applejack. Jack patted it, as if she had been the one to stop it. Dash huffed, knowing that she had actually stopped it.

“You idiot!” She said, rushing up to the cow and Twilight.

“Dr. Horrible, I should have known you were behind this.”

“You almost killed her.” Dash said, rushing up to Applejack.

“I remember it differently.”

“Is she-.”

“It’s curtains for you Dr. Horrible,” AJ said, grabbing Dash’s neck. “Lacy and gently walked in curls.” Dash looked confused at this statement.

Thank you, Hammer-Mare. I don’t think I can strain to you how important it was that you stopped the cow. She struggled to get out of the garbage pile she was in. I would be splattered, I would be struck to third degree. Thank you, sir, for saving me.

“Don’t worry about it,” AJ replied, releasing Dash. A mare’s got to do what a mares got to.

You came from above.

Are you kidding?

It seems destiny ends with me saving you.

What heist were you watching.

I wonder what you’re Captain of.

Stop looking at her like that.

When you’re the best, you can’t let yourself fail.

Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage.

My heart is beating like a drum.

If ass needs kicking, something I can defuse.

I stopped the cow. The remote control was in my hand.

The only doom that’s looming is you loving me to death.

I can’t believe that I am loving you to death.

Waaateeevvver. Dash proceeded to grab the Milkophlonium from the cow.

So please give me a sec to catch my breath.

BALLS.