Author's Notes:

A collaboration with MadMaxtheBlack. Somewhat Spoilerish as it occurs after the end of the planned events of I Am Not Spartacus.

Epilogue - Meeting the Family
by Dan's Comments and MadMaxtheBlack
Based in the 'Your Human and You' universe by MadMaxtheBlack and use of his characters is approved.

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

"Now remember, you have to make a good impression on Twilight," Pink tells me, for about the third time. "She's got a human, and I think she's developing feelings for him. For a mare like Twilight, it can be a very difficult time."

"Why not have Celestia explain the birds and the bees to her?" I ask.

"Considering that from what I can tell, you taught that to her, I don't think that is a good idea. Besides, for you Celestia is 'the Great White'. For poor Twilie she's 'THE GREATEST WHITE WHO IS OR EVER COULD EXIST IN A RATIONAL OR JUST UNIVERSE'. Can you imagine Celestia explaining coupling with a human to Twilight?"

"I think you'd be short one Harmony Bearer until you could bolt her to a cart and wheel her around to aim at the enemy. Despite that you will just be relating what Celestia told you, and what I've related to you and Armor," I mention and chuckle at Pink becoming pinker.

"Oh, her human, like I said, Twilight is very fond of him. He had some very bad experiences in a fighting pit. So please don't spook him, or her. Just be on your best 'Happy Percy' behavior."

I nod. "Understood, be polite, be courteous, show professionalism, and have a plan to kill everyone in the room."

Pink facehoofed. "We're never going to get you civilized, are we?"

"Nope, but I can fake it better than most ponies," I reply.

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Staring up at the sparkling palace through the tinted glasses Twilight had bought for him upon arriving in the Empire, Max chewed on the inside of his cheek. His eyes roamed over the sparkling towers and battlements, covered in blue and purple banners. True to what she had told him earlier, Twilight's description of the city looking like it was made of crystals had been correct.

Keeping his eyes on the palace before him, he leaned his head towards Twilight, who was standing beside him, a small smile on her face.

~It's pretty. I'll give it that~ he signed.

"Yes," she said, nodding her head in agreement. "It is rather pretty, especially after the Crystal Heart has been activated."

They continued to stand there, admiring the view, for several more minutes before Twilight snorted. When Max glanced down at her, she nodded her head towards the palace, her smile growing.

"Come on," she said. "We best go let them know we're here, that way Cadence and Shining don't begin to worry about us. The last thing we need is the guards coming to look for us."

With that, the pair headed off towards the palace, a slight bounce in Twilight's step.

As they walked through the town, Max couldn't help but notice that there were significantly less humans here than in Equestria. Twilight had explained to him that the reason for the small numbers of humans was that humans had been fewer in number before the Crystal Empire had disappeared. Most of the ones that were present now had only arrived after the empire had returned. Even so, it felt weird to actually see the slim population, though they weren't hard to spot; all the humans stood out against the bright background of the crystal town.

As the pair drew closer to the palace, Twilight glanced over at her human.

"Now remember," she said. "Be on your best behavior. The crystal ponies are still a little unsure about humans in general, and the last thing we need is to give them a reason to distrust them more."

~Yes, mommy~ Max signed, rolling his eyes. Twilight bumped his hip with her shoulder, causing him to stumble slightly. When he glared down at her, she just stuck out her tongue and continued to walk along.

As Max fell back into step behind her again, Twilight paused, glancing back over her shoulder at him.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I just remembered. Cadence and Shining have a human as well, named Ursine Persiflage." Max stopped walking and gave her an incredulous look, causing her to giggle.

"Yes, I know. It's quiet the mouthful. Percy, if you'd like," she continued as he started walking again. "He was apparently a pit-fighter - " Max inhaled sharply, his pupil dilating " - but is extremely well tempered. He socializes well with others, and only attacks if his immediate family is threatened."

~Used to be a pit-fighter?~ Max asked, feeling uneasy. ~Are you sure he's safe to be around?~

"Positive," Twilight said with a giggle. "Cadence swears by it. I personally don't have much experience with him. In fact, the only real interaction I've had with Percy was when he fished me out of a fountain I had fallen into when I lived back in Canterlot."

~When you fell into a fountain?~ Max asked, raising an eyebrow. Twilight's ears folded back, a small blush forming on her face.

"I was chasing a moth to see if it would eat a particular flower when I got distracted and fell into a fountain," she muttered, not looking up at him. By the way she said it, Max could tell that she was leaving some details out of the story. "Percy happened to be close by and had to fish me out."

Max laughed as Twilight blush grew. He stopped, however, when something she said registered in his mind.

~Wait, you said he fished you out of the fountain?~ he asked, earning a nod from Twilight. ~I thought humans couldn't swim~

"The fountain wasn't that deep," Twilight explained. "He was able to stand up inside it."

~And you couldn't?~ he asked, smirking as Twilight pouted.

"The fall might have stunned me a little," Twilight grumbled, her ear flicking in annoyance. "Look, that's not important. You just need to know that Percy is gentle as long as you don't mess with his family."

~Right~ he signed, nodding his head. ~No messing with Shining during the visit if I wish to keep my head~

"Exactly," Twilight said. "Now, behave. We're here." Max glanced up at the large door in front of the pair, the palace looming far above casting a shadow down upon them.

Taking a deep breath, Twilight placed a hoof against the door and pushed, causing it to swing open smoothly with no sound or resistances. She flashed Max a quick smile before entering.

He continued to stare up at the open door for a few more seconds before following behind her.

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Cadence watched Twilight arrive. "Sunshine, sunshine. Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" she greeted her favorite filly. She caught Max's faint grin, but Percy was still setting the table and missed it. "Percy, Twilight and I can do that, please come here."

Percy had to finish the setting before he came over. Cadence enjoyed Twilight's reaction. Percy was about as big as Max, but he carried a different aura. He was clearly a bit older, and more hardened.

"Oh don't let him spook you. With family, he's a real sweetie," Cadence said, "Percy, Twilight and Max are family. Twilight and Max are family, understand?"

Percy played the role of clever, but still dim human. He seemed to take a while to comprehend, then leaned over to sniff Twilight's mane, then Max's hair. Cadence almost lost it from Max's expression at the examination.

What the hell is he doing? Max thought as Percy sniffed him. I've never had an Equestrian human do this before. Apparently satisfied with what he smelt, the human backed off, giving Max a blank look.

When she was sure that Percy had finished, Cadence cleared her throat.

"Now, you to go play. We've got girl talk," she said and pointed to the table Percy had set up earlier.

Cadence poured tea for herself and Twilight, and positioned herself to watch everyone. "So, how have you and Max been getting on?"

Twilight blushed and glanced around. "We've gone on study trips, we've read books together, and he even entered a human show. Didn't you enter Percy in a few?"

Cadence nodded. "We got a few ribbons," Cadence said, "Percy was extremely clever and trainable. How did Max do in the shows?"

Same Twilight, study something to death before moving forward, Cadence thought.

Percy led Max over to the human-proportioned table. There was no silverware here, and the teapot was steel rather than fine china. But the tea was the same, he could serve both of them milk and sugar, and something he hoped Max would enjoy. He had avoided the whole 'meat pills' business and had been very firm with Cadence and Armor, and through them the chefs here and in Canterlot, that Percy got a small amount of real animal protein in his diet. He understood their reticence when most of the normal sources could either hold a conversation, or at least follow very complicated voice commands. Cheeses were the usual answer, but sometimes they weren't enough. He vastly preferred to go further down the evolutionary chain than most Americans were comfortable with to get his protein, rather than risk the whole 'Soylent Green is people' that he strongly suspected was the source of the meat pills.

"Oh, he got First Place," Twilight said, as eager for the distraction as she was proud of Max.

"Have you considered sleeping together?" Cadence asked. She kept on smiling as Twilight sprayed tea out of her nose. "Oh dear, I guess Ponyville is so much warmer having extra bodies isn't needed."

Max watched the other human, Percy, cautiously as the pair slowly began to make their way around the food table, Percy leading the way. Occasionally, he would stop beside a dish, motioning towards the food upon it while glancing back at Max. If it was something that he liked - a cookie, chunk of cheese, or juice - Max would take some, carefully avoiding getting too close to his fellow human. He might have looked and acted casual, but Max still felt uneasy around Percy, like a sheep beside a wolf.

Twilight stared at her as she blotted her face. "No, I have not."

"Armor and I slept with him, when we needed to feel safe. After all, it's like having a fierce guard dog all ready to protect you, but just wants to be your fluffy, lap dog."

Twilight just stared at her for a moment. "You mean, sleeping, like just sleeping?"

Why does he keep glancing over at me? Max worried, constantly keeping Percy just on the edge of his vision. He wanted enough of a warning to make a break for it should Percy suddenly turn hostile.

Cadence pouted at Twilight. "What else could I mean?"

Twilight sighed. "I thought you meant, sleeping together."

Reaching the end of the table, Percy motioned towards a plate of 'shrimp' spring rolls, hoping that Max might like them. As he watched the timid human inch closer to the plate, he also hoped that he wouldn't eat every single one of them either.

Conscious of Percy's gaze upon him, Max reached tentatively towards the rolls, only to flinch back when his hand brushed against Percy's.

"I was going to wait for you to finish your tea to ask about that," Cadence said, and watched the 'dance' going on behind them.

Percy looked at the skittish reaction, and carefully removed five of the rolls, set them before Max, and backed to the end of the table. This kid must really have gotten pounded in the arena. I'd better expect plenty of PTSD. That must have been why Pink was so adamant, Percy realized.

Max watched as Percy backed off, leaving five of the rolls sitting before him. Pushing aside his confusion at the sudden show of kindness, Max reached for the rolls, all the while keeping a close watch on Percy out of the corner of his eye. Picking up a roll, he brought it to his mouth and took a bite, chewing slowly as he savored the taste.

Percy had no idea why Armor was stalking into the room like a tiger on the hunt. He'd never seen Armor act like that. Of course I've never seen him interact with his sister before either, he realized Must be a brother-sister thing.

Max yelped in surprise as something latched onto his back, causing him to stumble. A quick glance down showed a pair of white forelegs wrapped around his chest. A bit of blue mane entering his vision was the final piece of the puzzle, and Max suddenly realized who his 'attacker' was. Shining? The faintest of smiles touched Max's lips as he reached back and grabbed a hold of the unicorn currently clinging to his back.

Shaking his back, Max managed to pull Shining Armor off of his back. With a grunt, Max pulled Shining up, over his shoulder, straining slightly at the weight. Before Shining managed to grab a hold of him again, Max tossed him to the floor. The unicorn skidded across the floor, before coming to a rest several feet away.

Max's triumph at having managed to counter Shining's attack was short lived, however, when he realized what he had just done, and who the particular human standing next to him was. Slowly, and with much trepidation, Max turned his gaze towards Percy, who was eying the crumpled body of Armor with an almost confused look.

Percy looked from Max to Armor and back. Not the best hello, he thought, Besides, there's a better way. He waggled his fingers at Armor, letting him know what was coming. He quietly whistled 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better'' from Annie Get Your Gun as he caught Armor. The unicorn squealed as Percy reminded him how ticklish ponies were.

Twilight looked over at Shining having 'pounced' on Max, then Percy seemed to intervene when Max backed off.

"Like I said, he's very protective of family," Cadence said as Shining laughed and tried to defend himself, but Percy moved too fast and Shining was laughing too hard to use his magic.

"I surrender! I surrender!" Shining shouted, and Percy stepped back, and helped Shining to his feet.

"His expression never changed," Twilight said, "Is that normal?"

"For Percy it is, Twilie," Shining said and hugged Twilight. "I just never expected him to turn on me, woe is me, outnumbered two-to-one."

Cadence and Twilight giggled at him. The three headed back to the tea.

"Don't look so shocked Twilie," Shining said, "We rescued him from a pit-fighting ring. You know what kind of places those are."

Twilight shuddered at the memory of the place, and Max's nightmares for weeks afterwards.

As Shining chatted with his sister, Max stared at Percy, his eyes wide. It can't be. Was... was he whistling what I think he was whistling?

Pursing his lips, Max weakly whistled out the same thing, ending it as one would end a question.

"Should we tell her?" Cadence asked.

Percy looked at the expression on Max's face. Okay, is he a good mimic, or does he know? I am not going to assume 'monkey see, monkey do', Percy thought. He waved for Max to follow him back over to the table. Once there, he poured some tea for each of them. As his hand hovered over the sugar bowl, he quietly whistled 'A Spoonful of Sugar'' from Mary Poppins.

"No, she's still too young," Shining said, "Maybe the other story."

Max's eyes widened at the sound. He is! he thought as he gave Percy a shocked look. Should I...? Quickly sorting through his memories, Max tried to come up with the best response for the 'question'. Coming up nothing, Max just shrugged mentally before whistling out tentatively 'Chim Chim Cher-ee'.

If I'm thinking correctly, he'll know this one, he thought, watching Percy's reaction carefully.

"Oh, yes, that's perfect!" Cadence said. "It was a dark night," Cadence began to tell her ghost story. "Shining had returned home after some dark dealings. And he cuddled up with Percy as the only living thing in the place."

Twilight nodded for her to continue.

Percy stared at Max. Well now, how does he know that one? Percy wondered, Let's get this localized. He whistled a few bars of Gosudarstvenny Gimn SSSR, then La Marseillaise, then O Canada. He glanced nervously over at the three ponies chatting, and considered. High risk, high reward, he told himself, and whistled a few bars of The Star Spangled Banner. Then he waited.

Max listened as Percy whistled a couple of tunes he didn't recognize, followed by something that sounded suspiciously like something he had heard his Canadian friend humming once. When Percy started whistling the last song, Max's eyes lit up in recognition. I don't believe it, Max thought, before replying with My Country, 'Tis of Thee. Finishing, he glanced over at the ponies as well, making sure they didn't hear.

"Then I came home, and we put Shining to bed, both of us cuddled with him," Cadence said, while Twilight blushed, Cadence explained, "Sometimes even the Captain of the Royal Guard needs to cuddle."

Twilight looked at Shining, expecting him to be embarrassed. She was surprised he wasn't. "Isn't that, fancying?"

Percy grinned at Max, and weathered the shocked expression. Okay he's a Brit, I'd recognize God Save The Queen anywhere. He whistled a bit of The Imperial Death March and then waved it away. He pointed to himself and whistled several bars of Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer, then pointed to Max.

"Twilie," Shining said, "I was scared, right down to my hooves terrified. I needed someone there to tell me I wasn't alone. Percy was there for me. I wasn't in favor of getting him at first, but he was there when I desperately needed someone."

Max grinned as he realized what Percy was trying to do. Speaking in song, that's clever. Going off the assumption that Percy was trying to describe himself, Max decided to answer. Whistled a couple of bars of Johnny Cash's I've Been Everywhere, he then paused and looked at Percy expectantly.

Percy tried to remember. This is like playing Diplomacy and Name That Tune at the same time, he thought, then shrugged. He pushed the tea and the spring rolls over to Max.

"Then, the assassin slipped in," Cadence said. Twilight shivered and stared at her. Cadence continued with her ghost story, "A huge unicorn sorcerer, taller and stronger than Captain Armor. Mightier than Princess Cadence. And there, for one goal only."

Twilight stared up at her sister-in-law, as she tried to retreat into her seat. "How did you beat her?" Twilight asked.

Max snacked on the rolls as he watched Percy think, trying to remember as many songs as he could in the meantime.

"We didn't," Shining said, "We were exhausted, and she could have crept up on us and we'd never have been the wiser."

"Percy?" Twilight asked and looked over at the two humans, who seemed to be getting along. Although she'd never seen Max concentrate so hard before. "How?"

Percy pointed to them both, and whistled a bit of Elton John's Rocket Man. Then he glanced at the three chatting ponies and whistled some of Weird Al's Young, Dumb, and Ugly. He smirked at that, and added a bit of the Smurf's theme song.

At that, Max couldn't help but roll his eyes, chuckling softly as he nodded in agreement. As he tried to think of the next song to use, he rubbed the scar across his face absentmindedly. How am I suppose to continue this conversation?

"He attacked," Cadence said and leaned close to Twilight, "With a fury that impressed even Princess Celestia." Cadence saw Twilight's worshipful look and smiled. "Celestia learned to announce herself before entering our quarters."

Three, two, one, Cadence thought and saw Shining bracing himself for the connection.

Glancing up at Percy, Max pointed at him before whistling Look Down from Les Miserables, raising an eyebrow as he did so.

Percy smiled slightly and whistled a bit of Voltaire's When You're Evil. He considered and rejected Stan Rodger's Mary Ellen Carter, and instead added a bit of Defeat from the Magnificent Seven. He considered giving Max a bit of hope that he rarely had for his own fate. He whistled some of Survivor's Eye of the Tiger. The grin he gave would have frightened most ponies.

"HE ATTACKED PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Twilight shouted, attracting the attention of both humans. Twilight turned and began to march over towards the human.

"That was right before they became intimate wasn't it?" Shining asked, and glanced over at Twilight who was frozen in mid step.

Percy glared at the rulers of the Crystal Empire and looked at the stunned unicorn.

Max raised an eyebrow at Percy's response. He thought he understood what he was trying to convey. Seeing Percy giving him a curious look, Max just shrugged before motioning to himself. Whistling out McDonald's little I'm Lovin' It jingle, Max then made a whistling sound that sounded like something falling. He ended it by slamming his hands together, then motioning around him.

Percy nodded. He made sure the ponies were absorbed in their own conversation after Max clapped, then whistled a bit of Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance, paused and continued with the Eagles' Hotel California.

Twilight looked back to Armor and Cadence and returned to her chair. "Why would he fight Celestia?" she asked softly, and stared at Armor, "And why is he still alive?"

Pomp and Circumstance? Max thought, scrunching up his face slightly. Is he trying to tell me he just graduated from college? Casting a quick glance over the human before him, Max quickly threw that idea out the window. No, looks older and more mature. A college professor then? And Hotel California... is he from California, or? Rubbing his temple with a hand, he grumbled in annoyance. What I wouldn't give to talk normally right now.

"Because Celestia approved of him defending us from an interloper, and he stopped on my command," Cadence said, "Percy is . . . complicated, for a human. And Celestia was feeling very out of sorts on the Nightmare Night before Luna's return. When Percy went to check on her, one thing led to another."

"Percy is very protective of family," Armor said, "He sensed that Celestia needed 'protecting'."

Twilight squirmed a bit at that. "Celestia, and a human?" she said quietly, "But, he started it?"

Percy held out the empty teapot as the server rushed by to refill the Princesses'. He gave the retreating pony a death glare then looked at the three chatting ponies. That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more, he thought. He got Max's attention, and began teaching him the most devastating technique he had ever developed. It could lay even Celestia and Luna low, other ponies would have no chance.

Cadence chuckled. "Yes, it was Percy's idea, but Celestia continued to meet with him."

"So, what did they do?" Twilight asked, almost ashamed of herself.

"They played mostly," Armor said, and looked at Twilight just staring at him. "Massages, kisses, little bites," Armor said, furthering Twilight's horror. "It all came down to what felt good. Of course the tickle fights were epic battles, you saw him take me down. Maybe if you really trust Max -"

"SHINING!" Twilight squealed as she blushed.

Armor looked over his shoulder at the two approaching humans and braced himself. This is not going to end well, he thought and watched Cadence and Twilie focus on the humans. The instant they did, they were doomed.

Head down, eyes looking up, hands holding the open, empty tea pot for us to see, shoulders up, head slightly tilted, biting their lower lip, Armor cataloged the effect even as it ripped away his will. So brave that they don't cry despite misery beyond the pale.

"They're out of tea," Twilie said with trembling voice.

She makes it sound like a war crime, Armor thought, and snickered. Too late he realized his mistake as both turned on him alone. He could not last long against a force able to lay low even an alicorn princess. Percy gave a little sniffle. Max's bottom lip began to tremble.

When his reason returned from wherever it had fled, he saw Cadence and Twilie chuckling at him. He also noticed their teapot was now the steel one, and Percy and Max had the fine china one. "Oh, and your two would have held out longer than I did," he grumped and poured some tea, only to find the pot was still empty.

"Twilight," Cadence said, "You either trust him with your life and your heart, or you don't. Percy is loyal to Celestia, but Max has no such call on his heart. Percy had many chances to run away, even to abandon us during the Changeling Invasion, or facing Sombra. He never did."

Percy poured Max more tea and whistled the theme from Dragnet. He held out his hands and gestured for Max to do likewise, looking for callouses and scars, to try to figure out how Max's life had been. His hands showed the callouses of holding a weapon, and the few scars showed he was not beaten often.

"Has Max ever not been there when you needed him?" Armor asked.

"But that's different," Twilight said.

Max relaxed his hands, allowing Percy to study them closely, unsure of what the human was looking for. After a few seconds, he released his grip on Max's hands, nodding his head. Max gave a short whistle to catch Percy's attention before cocking an eyebrow, wiggling his hands in a silent question.

Percy picked up one of the spring rolls like a pencil, and mimed writing with it. He set it down and ran his finger over the callous on the knuckle of his middle finger where the pencil would rest. Then he picked up the roll like the hilt of a weapon and mimed stabbing. He set it down and ran his fingers over where the callouses on his hands were. He pointed at Max and tapped his middle finger, whistling the Beatles' The Tax Man.

"How?" Cadence asked, "How is it different? You trust him with your life, he trusts you with a secret that could be very dangerous. Would he hurt you if you are just able to talk to him? Or are you afraid you'll hurt him?"

Max felt the corners of his mouth begin to rise as he watched Percy 'explain'. Is he calling me a pencil pusher? Max then blinked as he realized what the second part of Percy's miming had been. First pointing at Percy, Max then held his fists up in a cliched boxing stance, all while whistling Joe Esposito's You're The Best. Then pointing at himself, Max whistled out Time of Dying from Three Days Grace.

Percy shook his head and replied with I Am A Rock by Simon and Garfunkel and Nine Inch Nail's Hurt. He smirked and added a bit of Darth Vader's Death by John Williams. He shook his head, trying to avoid depressing his fellow human and pointed at Twilight and whistled a bit of The Candy Man, then the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka.

"I already have," Twilight mumbled.

Glancing over at Twilight, Max's smile grew as he watched the small alicorn talking with her family. He continued to watch her for several seconds before remembering that Percy was standing beside him. Shaking his head, he turned back to his fellow human, giving him a sheepish smile before humming Coming Home, by Diddy.

Percy nodded, and gestured to include Armor and Cadence and whistled I Feel Pretty from West Side Story then added I Don't Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar.

"Then accept he forgave you," Armor told her, "Believe me, he'll do it. Humans, if they care, they'll forgive a lot. Percy has not had an easy life with us, but he's accepted and forgiven us for things we've done. And we've forgiven him. You were angry about Percy fighting Celestia. Once it was clear that she was family, he demanded to be punished. If you listen, they can communicate very clearly. Just don't let your preconceptions get in the way."

Glancing back and forth between Percy and his owners, Max got a concerned look on his face. Motioning towards Cadence and Shining Armor, he whistled Two Worlds by Phil Collins.

Percy smirked and nodded. He whistled a bit of It's Not Easy Being Green from The Muppet Show. A servant pony refilled the tea pot. Percy grinned and whistled a bit of the End Credits from Tombstone. He arranged six cookies in a circle, tapped one, and pointed at Twilight, then gestured at the other five. He put a handful of nuts atop each cookie and pointed to his eyes and down at the cookies.

Smirking, Max hooked a thumb over his shoulder at Twilight, making cuckoo noises as he rolled his eyes. His gaze then softened and he whistled Never Had a Friend Like Me from Aladdin before rubbing the scar across his face. To finish off, he hummed a few bars from Green Day's Good Riddance.

Percy gestured like he was adjusting a cowboy hat, and whistled a bit of Molasses to Rum to Slaves from 1776. He raised an eyebrow to Max. Max just winced, looking away from Percy.

Percy pointed at Cadence and whistled some of the Scorpion's Send Me An Angel. He put a finger against his head like a unicorn's horn, then drew a finger across his throat. He whistled some of Dragonforce's Through the Fire and Flames. He assembled the nuts on the table to spell out 'Sombra', then swept them back into their container.

Motioning towards Cadence, Max then pointed at Percy, whistled Military Taps before giving him a questioning look. He hoped Percy understood the question he was asking.

Percy motioned to include Armor and Cadence then whistled the Helen Reddy song You and Me Against the World, then added the Beatles' With a Little Help From My Friends. He pointed at Max and stuck out his tongue, then whistled some of Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love.

Max stared at Percy in confusion for a few seconds before his face lit up bright red. Glaring at the smirking human, he lifted his hand and gave Percy the bird. Turning, Max walked away from the food table, heading towards the three ponies still deep in discussion with each other.

As he neared, Twilight's ears perked up and she glanced over at her approaching human. Reaching her, he flipped open one of the flaps of her saddlebags, quickly pulling out his notebook. As the three ponies watched him, he flipped to a clean page before writing.

Tearing the page out of the notebook, he folded it once before handing it to Cadence. Huffing at her, he slipped the notebook back into the saddlebags before stalking back towards the table, and the watching Percy.

Curious, Cadence glanced down at the note in her hoof. Slowly opening it, she ran her eyes over the text, a confused frown touching her face.

+You're rubbing off on your human too much+

Percy walked over and peered over Cadence's shoulder. He stepped over the couch so he stood beside the table. He picked up one of the paper napkins and squatted down beside the table. When he had all the ponies' attention, he carefully folded the napkin in half into a right triangle, and made a little tear about a third of the way up the hypotenuse. He then carefully folded it in half again and made another tear on the opposite third of hypotenuse.

Twilight watched intently. Armor suddenly facehoofed and turned away.

Percy made another fold, and another small tear. Then he held the napkin so Twilight could see it. She looked at it quizzically. Then Percy ate the napkin. Cadence scribbled something on the piece of paper and handed it to Percy as he walked back to where Max was waiting.

Percy handed Max the paper.

+He was like that when I got him.+

Reading the note again, Max glanced up at Percy, giving him an unamused look. Keeping the same expression, he slowly folded the paper into a small square. Shaking his head, Max held up the paper, staring intently at Percy, before putting it in his mouth and beginning to chew. Wincing at the bitter taste of parchment, Max worked the paper around in his mouth before swallowing it with a grimace. The task completed, Max lifted his hand and pointed at his eyes before pointing at Percy.

Twilight glanced back and forth between the two humans, confusion clear upon her face. She hadn't been paying close attention to Max's interactions with Percy earlier, which, in hindsight, she probably should have been doing, she realized. Max had been nervous about meeting an ex pit-fighter, and she had wanted to make sure that Max was comfortable around Percy, but Cadence had distracted her with conversation.

Now, however, Max appeared to be loosening up. What confused Twilight was the fact that Max appeared to be interacting with Percy more so than any other human he had encountered before.

Percy poured a cup of tea, put two sugars in it and handed it to Max. He then collected a chocolate cream pie, and walked over to stand several feet out of Max's reach.

Eying the chocolate cream pie suspiciously, Max took a tentative sip of tea. He wasn't sure what Percy was up to, but he had a sinking feeling that he was about to find out. Sure enough, as soon as he had finished all of the tea within the teacup and had set it down upon the table, Percy winked, pulled his arm back and tossed the pie through the air. Max didn't even have a chance to react before the chocolaty creaminess covered his face.

As the pan slowly slid from his face, Max just stood there, unsure of what to do. Cadence had a hoof jammed into her mouth, trying desperately to stifle her laughter. Shining Armor looked to be in the same boat as his wife; his face red as he bit down on his lip. Twilight just looked horrified, glancing back and forth between the blank-faced Percy, and the chocolate-covered Max.

Slowly, Max lifted his hand up and wiped a glob of pie from his face. Studying it for a brief moment, he shrugged before licking the substance from his hand. That proved too much for Cadence, who immediately fell out of her chair laughing.

Still working at the remains of the pie, Max turned to look at Percy. Both humans stared at each other, unblinkingly, for several seconds before Max nodded his head in a small bow, which Percy returned.

A small smile hidden beneath the layer of chocolate, Max turned and walked over to Twilight, who was just sitting there, frozen with her mouth agape. Getting some more pie filling onto his fingers, Max smeared some onto Twilight's muzzle as he passed. As Twilight went cross-eyed to stare at the offending substance on her nose, Max chuckled softly, wandering off to find a towel.

Percy carried two more pies over, placing one before Twilight, the second before Shining Armor. He then stepped back out of reach. Armor looked at Twilight, Twilight looked at Armor, Armor raised an eyebrow, and Twilight raised one of her own. Percy received both pies back as a salvo. Brother and sister laughing at Cadence pounding the floor with a hoof as she laughed, and Percy wiping some of the pie off to taste it. Both got off their chairs and started approaching Cadence, too late to stop the pair from nuzzling her, and letting Percy drip a bit of filling on all three of them.

Max walked back into the room wiping his face with a damp towel. The others all had chocolate cream smeared on their faces, and all the ponies were laughing. Cadence would lick a bit off Twilight's face and Armor scraped a hoofful off of Percy. Max stared at them. ~Have you all gone crazy?~ he asked. Which only made them laugh harder.

Pulling herself from the pile, Twilight trotted over to him, taking the towel from his hands with a burst of magic.

"No," she said as she began to clean pie off of her coat. "Just having a bit of fun."

Having cleaned herself off, Twilight smirked before throwing the now dirty towel at her brother. He let out a yelp of surprise as it wrapped around his head, draping over his horn in a comical manner.

------------------------------

Cadence looked out over the balcony's railing and considered. "When do you suppose Max will tell her?"

"Sometime on the train. When it will be funniest," Percy replied.

"So did you get on well with Max?" Cadence asked.

Percy shrugged. "Well enough. He's still an ingenue, believing in all the things ponies tell each other," Percy said, "He probably thinks I'm a curmudgeon, too old and sour and set in my ways."

Cadence nodded sadly. While she dearly loved Percy, he was firmly convinced that she, Armor and Celestia were the only naturally decent ponies on the planet. All others, including Twilight were either naturally bigoted, dismissive, down to wholly evil. Only the most massive evidence shook his certainty, and the merest flicker that supported his position he seized upon to strengthen it. The fact that Twilight had taken over a year, some considerable prodding from Armor and Cadence, and a scolding from Max, to thank him for saving her life, had bolstered his opinions no end.

"Excuse me, your Highness," Percy said a tad sharply.

"Sorry, mind was a million miles away," Cadence said, "What did you ask?"

"I was wondering how he came to be called 'Max', that's not a normal pony name."

"Oh, it's his name," Cadence said, "He told Twilight and, uh, she, uh . . . " Cadence realized too late she had completely put her hoof in it, despite Percy giving no clue. "We never asked you your name, did we?"

"You know, I think the weather team here has settled in marvelously, don't you?" he said, smiled as he bowed and walked away to clear the tables.

"Allow me to present myself. I am Count Mario Vincenzo Robespierre Manzeppi, adventurer, poet, and lover of all that is corrupt, forbidden, and blasphemous. How I came by that name. That story would weave a tangled thread down into the misty stench of ancient crypts. Through the brooding bazaars of Damascus, up to the high wastes of Tibet, watered by rivers of tears and a small ocean of blood. How time flies when you're having fun."

Cadence facehoofed again. And ponies wonder why Discord stays away from him.