Author's Notes:

An experiment, this is the 'other' side of the story. Future chapters should have a first-person present-tense from Percy's perspective, and a third-person, past-tense from the ponies'.

Your Human and You: If You Aren't Spartacus, Am I?
Side story of I Am Not Spartacus
Based in the 'Your Human and You' universe by MadMaxtheBlack
This story is NOT canon with Your Human and You
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

by Dan_s Comments

"Cadence, I think this is a bad idea," Armor reminded his fiance.

"I want to see this, close up, for myself," Cadence told him. "Besides, we're going in well after the assault troops."

'Not far enough' Cadence read in his expression. But her mind was made up. I've heard too much talk about these places among the nobles, and with Shining 'bringing work home'. I have to actually know.

The assault troops went in first, and then they did. This is bedlam! Cadence thought as she ducked the thrown objects, some food, some used to be food, and the more professional missiles of the handlers.

The guards were everywhere, chasing handlers, and dodging the thrown objects. Cadence and Armor ducked and wove among the seeming forest of arms extended out of cages to catch at the unwary. And the noise. The screeches of rage, and excitement from dozens of throats as the humans vent their displeasure at invaders obviously upsetting the ponies the humans were used to.

Someone had let a dozen out of their cages, and they charged. Now I understand Armor's concern, Cadence thought as his shield came up, and the humans threw themselves on it. Beating on it, screaming, and it seems some try to kill themselves against it, beating their faces on the implacable barrier until they were so wounded or woozy they'd collapse. They are 'unsalvageable' because too many do not wish to live, Cadence realized, It isn't that the guard is being heartless. They simply have no other choice.

"They'll keep us pinned here while their masters escape," Sergeant Mile Stone shouted over the incredible noise.

"There's only three left," Armor turned to her and said, "Sorry Cadence."

She gulped and nodded. Armor dropped his shield and the humans practically threw themselves on the upraised spears.

"They can't want to die so badly," she said.

"Maybe they don't, but it seems that way to us," Mile Stone said, some of the blood spattered on him and Armor.

"Let's go. I hate this," he said, looking at the cages with anger, "If there were some other way. But what? Release them into the Everfree? Leave them here for a day, a week, a month? It's all been tried before."

Not by me, Cadence said.

"If you and I can handle your sister, maybe we can handle one," Cadence said, then spotted one sitting placidly in his cage, either oblivious or apathetic to the bedlam surrounding him on all sides. "That one."

"Uh, Highness," Corporal Sweetgrass said, "You might want to pick another one."

"This one seems almost docile," Cadence said as she watched.

During our approach, he kept glancing at us. Maybe he still has hope, maybe he understands he has options besides this life, and maybe I'm deluding myself. She reached towards him as he shifted to a different position, out of reach. Cadence frowned at that.

Then he looked at her, really looked. She'd seen eyes like that only once, on a foal who seemed withdrawn from everything. One who'd blossomed under Cadence's wings. He looked away, as if aware of the guards tensing.

"Armor," Cadence whispered, "I want to talk to you."

He handed her a sheaf of papers. "Something about him," Armor whispered back, "Take a look."

"I want this one," Cadence told him, and Mile Stone.

The old sergeant looked uncomfortable. Armor looked worse. The human picked that moment to yawn. All the ponies stared at the odd, very pointed teeth.

"Damned thing's a tiger," Mile Stone hissed in surprise.

"There's never been an example of one of these things being resocialized after time in the pits. You know that Cadence," Armor reminded her.

Cadence nodded. She looked at him. Please understand, I have to try, she thought, and let her expression carry her intent.

Armor rolled his eyes and nodded. Cadence smiled and flipped through the pages, then she found it. "Here it is, it's him." She looked the human over carefully. "Red harness, docile attitude, and the teeth."

"I knew I'd seen that report," Armor said

"The syndicate who owned him was raided, how did he escape?" Cadence said, and looked over the other ponies. She looked back and noted he was watching them, not singling out any one of them, but taking them all in. "Sergeant, take him to the palace."

"Cadence, it's too dangerous," Armor said.

Cadence stuck her foreleg deep into the cage and stared at Armor. "The guard uses humans. This one would be perfect to test if they can be made into bodyguards."

She watched Armor squirm a bit as he expected the human to pounce any second.

Mile Stone said, "He's a dumb animal, Highness." And he put his foreleg on hers to ease it out of the cage before the human noted the target or the movement. "You certainly wouldn't want your children near one."

Cadence let him finish, but she turned her plea on Armor. Understand, please, just help me, she wanted to explain, but not in front of his soldiers. But Armor wasn't backing down.

She realized one source of his concern. "There's one child I wouldn't want him near," Cadence said, "But I think if he did what he does to his humans to this one, even Auntie couldn't put him back together." Armor nodded, and relaxed a bit.

Cadence turned to look at him. "Besides, he's cute."

Cadence stared into his eyes, and saw, something going on. Hidden beneath. Like Twilight hiding her feelings and fear. Cadence stared at him, supposedly an action that would invite an attack. Yet he just glanced at all of them. "Have him washed, groomed, and taken to my quarters," Cadence said.

Mile Stone gasped, along with Armor. "Who in the palace would be brave enough to groom such a monster?" Mile Stone asked.

"Oh, well, I'll do it myself," Cadence said and grinned.

I swear it's like he can hear me. Or maybe it's the tension of the ponies around me, Cadence thought as she looked at him, at his eyes.

"Cadence, we need to talk, now," Armor told her.

She nodded and followed him a short ways away.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked, "That isn't a foal or a pet, that's a trained killer." Armor held up the paper. " 'The Crimson Death, 483 matches, only 12 losses and those were so close the crowd spared him. He has killed adult, armed minotaurs. He's crippled every pony who faced him in the arena. He's fought in a dozen grand melees, where they toss twenty or thirty fighters in the pit. Last one standing leaves."

"And," Cadence replied, as she paged through the reports, "He saved a, two, three foals who fell into the pits, during matches. As long as nopony breaks into the apartment to attack him, he isn't going to start anything."

"You hope," Armor countered. "For all you know he could be drugged or insane and all he needs is to hear a bell and he's off."

"He's loose!" Mile Stone shouted, no fear, but he wasn't happy either.

Armor gave her an 'I told you so' look and raced back to where the human was walking across the tops of the cages.

"You want proof, how's this?" Cadence said and rushed forward to block his way to the arena.

He stopped, and for a few moments, the pair just stared at each other.

"He's just doing what he's been trained for. He's supposed to go to the pit, so he went," Cadence said, then looked to Armor and grinned. Her fiance facehoofed and then shrugged. Cadence looked at the face, and those searching eyes. "I wish you could understand. We aren't going to hurt you." She fluttered up putting herself easily in his range. A dozen of more ponies took careful aim with their crossbows.

Okay Cadence, she thought, Here's the real test. She reached out slowly, and clipped a leash to the collar fitting. The metal on metal snap sounded like an explosion in the now quiet place. How did all the noise suddenly disappear? Of course, we're euthanizing all the humans. Euthanize, exterminate, just depends on how much trouble you're willing to go through for someone. What about you? She fluttered away a short distance. She stayed in reach, just to see what he did. But he stayed passive, as if waiting for instructions.

That's it, he's just used to instructions from ponies, Cadence thought, While we have all these guards, I'd better test that.

"Parasol, take him to the Palace," Cadence said and kept her eyes on his. When the mare didn't approach, Cadence turned to look at her petrified hoofmaiden.

She felt a spike of fear as the Crimson Death took the leash from her hoof and started towards Parasol. She felt the world hanging in the balance as the crossbows tracked his approach, and Shining stood ready to deploy his field to protect Parasol.

But he stopped just out of reach. Cadence let out a breath. Then Parasol took a step back, and the Crimson Death took a step forward.

Don't run, don't run, don't run, don't run! Cadence thought as she made placating gestures to the poor mare staring at the human staring down at her.

The poor mare swapped ends and ran screaming from the apparition. The human seemed to take no notice and jogged after her.

"Keep her out of trouble," Armor ordered Mile Stone and two troopers. He looked over at Cadence. "Do I need to repeat what a bad idea this is?"

"He hasn't hurt anypony," Cadence replied a bit peevishly.

"You left out one very important word. 'Yet.' He might not try to harm her physically, but he terrifies the pronk out of her. There's also the fact he's going to be living in close proximity to two nubile mares."

"You live with those same mares," Cadence said.

"I'm a pony, not an animal," Shining said, "Look, if this was a place way out in the country and we could let him run around, that would be one thing. But this is the palace. There are ponies who don't treat other ponies as people, how will they deal with a little human running around?"

"Those same ponies will remember he's my little human, and that means only Celestia can say what goes, against my wishes and commands," Cadence said, "Armor, you had nightmares after the first raid you went on. There has to be a better way." Cadence gestured at all the unconscious humans who would soon be dead humans. "Something better than this. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to us. Ponies aren't killers, but this taints everything Equestria is supposed to stand for."

Armor sighed and nodded. "Fine, but he's not sharing our bed."

"Unless you say otherwise, fine. I'm not a fancier either," Cadence said and took one last look around, "I hate this." She left so the soldiers could do their grisly work, and clean up after it.
------------------------------

The nurse was not whom Cadence wanted to see on heading into the palace. "Highness, I was looking for you and Shining," the pegasus said as she touched down, "Don't worry Twilight is all right."

"Twilight?" Cadence asked as her blood ran cold.

She held up her forehooves as she fluttered. "Don't worry, she swallowed a little water and . . . "

"AND?" Cadence didn't quite use the Royal Canterlot voice.

The nurse pointed to Shining Armor arriving. "I was going to say, that Twilight fell in the Eastern Fountain, but a human dove in and rescued her. She swallowed a bit of water, and had the wind knocked out of her. But she was furious that the Lepidoptera got away."

"She's all right, and I almost don't want to know how she wound up in the Eastern Fountain while chasing butterflies," Armor said.

"Whose human was it?" Cadence asked.

"Umh, the guard said he was wearing a red harness with a crest he didn't recognize," the nurse, "I just thought you should know." She fluttered off.

Cadence looked at Shining. "It couldn't be," she said.

Armor stared at her. "This is Twilie we're talking about." He sighed. "Let's go see her, and then I'm getting out of this armor and getting a bath." He frowned. "Who is going to bathe that creature? I haven't smelled anything that bad since I helped a sick herd of cows."

"If Parasol hasn't, I'll do it. After you get done," she said.
------------------------------

" 'It wasn't a butterfly, it was a moth'," Armor said, in a good approximation of Twilie's tone.

Cadence gave him a disapproving look, but a smile kept peeking out. "You shouldn't tease her like that."

"She chased a bug out onto a wire to see if it was eating from a particular flower," Armor said and snickered, then he sobered, "If it was the Crimson Death who rescued her, then I will concede the point that maybe he is somehow redeemable. But unfortunately the guard who rescued her is off duty and won't be back for two days. We can always ask Parasol."

They entered the royal apartments. Blueblood walked past, nose in the air and a cloud of humans following.

"I do not want him getting his hands on him," Cadence said.

"There's no proof of those rumors," Armor said, "Believe me, they've been looked into."

"His humans are so cowed," Cadence said.

"Here's a crazy thought, maybe they actually like him," Armor whispered.

Cadence stared back at him with her ears pinned back. "And you call your sister's theories crazy."

"I never said they were smart," Armor replied, "Or had good taste."

Cadence shook her head. They entered the apartment and looked at Parasol staring at the ceiling. Armor stepped behind her and tracked what she was staring at.

"Oh by the Horn," Cadence said, "The tallest bookcase in the place and he picks that as his bedroom?"

"He climbed up there as soon as he got here. I just looked around, and poof, he was gone. Then your guard spotted him up there," Parasol said, "Lady Cadence. I think this one is completely mental. He jumped into the Eastern Fountain, climbed down a drain pipe, ran through the panicking ponies, and jumped in. He could have drowned right alongside Twilight, if that guard hadn't been there to collect her."

"He did rescue Twilie?" Armor asked.

"Yes, sir. And after that, he sat in the fountain and took a bath," Parasol said, "No reaction to saving a life, just started bathing himself." The little mare made little mincing steps in her frustration.

Cadence snorted to cover a laugh.

"I swear he went looking for some soap first, but he just cleaned himself off, then back up the drain pipe, still dripping wet." Parasol frowned. "He would have just walked in here soaking wet, if I hadn't found a towel. Fortunately, he figured out what it was for. Then just dropped it on the ground. I can imagine what cleaning up after him will be like. And we'd better pray he's paper-trained. He does his business up there, he can fling the poo anywhere in the whole apartment."

"Maybe we should open the window," Shining said.

"Armor!" Cadence said, and bopped him on the nose, "There are ponies walking by down there."

"Yeah, all with their noses in the air," Armor said, trying and failing to stop a giggle.

Parasol squeaked, and Cadence nearly choked on her stifled laugh.

"I didn't get a human to . . . inconvenience the arrogant," Cadence said, and snorted again as the image invaded her head. "You're awful!"

"They certainly will be," Armor said and gave up, he started laughing.

The three of them laugh at the image. He whistled like a falling stone and touched his nose. "Splash!"

"No," Cadence said amid her laughter, "It's not right, no matter how funny or deserved it might be." She sobered, although she was still grinning. "Parasol, you're sure he saved Twilight?"

Parasol nodded, trying to get and stay serious, but she kept having a giggle bubble up.

Cadence lifted off and flew to the top of the shelf and nudged him, then again. The human rolled over, and tried to wake up.

Cadence grabbing him in a hug and chanting, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' had his eyes bugging out of his head. Armor chuckled, until he made a little hiss of pain.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry," Cadence said and moved away, "But I just heard what you did, and I want to thank you." She saw his look of fear and moved away. "Oh, you don't understand a word I'm saying. I am sorry."

Cadence approached carefully, her horn glowing. Armor couldn't make out what she was saying, but she was using her best foalsitter tone to communicate. "The filly?"

The human tried to interact with the image Cadence had conjured. That worried Armor. Most humans don't get symbolic logic, he thought.

Then Cadence hugged him again, but this time the human hugged her back and seemed to be relaxing into her grip and stroking her mane. He couldn't help it, it bothered him.

Cadence looked over at him. "Armor, it's all right, I'm not a fancy." She shuddered at the idea. She looked at the human. "What are you doing up here?" she asked pointedly.

Then she moved off to the bedroom and the human climbed down. Armor moved to intercept him. "You stay away from her, understand?"

Idiot, of course doesn't understand, Armor chided himself.

He stared as the human begins running his fingers through his fetlock with a vacuous expression on his face.

Idiot, it's soft manes and tails he likes, Armor thought and disengaged, We're dealing with a child, not a monster.

Then the human dropped to the floor just in time for Cadence to return. "What did you two do?"

Armor rolled his eyes. "I found out that I don't have to worry about him sneaking into your bed at night. He'll be too busy trying to figure out a way to sneak into mine." He whispered, "I have softer fetlocks than you do."

Cadence smirked. "And you are very cute too." She giggled and glanced at Parasol who still had a 'what have I gotten myself into' look on her face.

"Clothes," Parasol said, "Unless you want him parading around like that."

"You're right," Armor said.

"Come on," Cadence told the human, "We have to get you some new clothes. I think getting you a kilt might be a good idea." She looked at Shining.

He's staring at the human. There's a bigger mystery here. How did he evade a sweep? Did he escape and nopony brought it up, or did he have help? I'm not so naive to ignore how much money he could be sold for. We better think of some way to mark him that is hard to remove and that we can trace.

"We haven't named him yet," he said absently as he stared.

Cadence stared at Armor. "Didn't the tabloids already name him The Crimson Death?"

Armor snorted at that. "I can just see you attending a garden party. 'Yes this is my human, The Crimson Death, he used to be a pit-fighter but now he's serving horses' douvers'. Celestia would love that." He chuckled. Then he noted that the human's expression appeared strained.

I wonder how much he understands. Our words, or is he just mimicking our emotions? Armor asked himself.

Cadence chuckled. "She'd think it's charming, you know how she gets." She laughed. "Still a name."

"Ursine Persiflage," Armor said, and enjoyed Cadence's look of outrage, "For how loud he is."

She and Parasol laughed. "You're awful," Cadence said and booped his nose, "Most nobles couldn't even pronounce that without two days warning and most who could would have no idea what it meant."

"We can call him Ursy Percy," Armor said, and enjoyed Cadence struggling not to breakout laughing.

"Ursine Persiflage it is. All those idiots with their dogs with names longer than the animal deserve it," Cadence said.

"Is he still wearing his leash?" Armor said as he noticed.

"I wasn't going to climb up and take it off him," Parasol said.

"I assumed you'd be holding it," Armor said.

"He never let me get close enough to take it," Parasol said, "We need to get a longer one."

"No," Cadence said, "The law says all humans have to be leashed and the one responsible has to hold the leash." She started laughing. "He seems pretty responsible to me."

Why do I feel like I just bought the Princess of Love a pet locomotive? Armor wondered as they headed out to the boutiques just outside the palace.

"I think we might do better in the working class shops," Parasol said, "Most of this stuff looks like you bought the human for just one purpose."

Cadence shivered at that thought. "Where does the military buy their kit for their Military Working Humans?"

Armor nodded and headed towards that shop. It also had the advantage of not having a 'no humans allowed' sign. What's the point of not letting the pet into the pet store? Especially if you're trying to get clothes to fit.

The shopkeeper a unicorn named Seam Runner smiled as she recognized Armor, then stared at the human holding his own leash. "New MWH?" she asked.

"Pet, but a worker," Cadence said, "We need some working clothes."

"Whose is he?" Seam asked.

"Mine, why?" Cadence asked.

"A lot of owners don't like branding their humans, but want to mark them," Seam explained, "We make monogrammed clothes, puts your cutie-mark right on them, without burning it into them. They seem to like it and identify better with their owner. Seeing themselves marked the same way as the owner."

"Armor," Cadence said eagerly.

"I'd already planned on getting that," Armor said, then looked at the human picking through the kilts. "Why don't we let him chose one?" Armor said.

Armor was as surprised as Cadence that he picked a plaid that included some of the colors of Armor's and Cadence's manes.

They added a few shampoos, brushes, and a few toys.

Seam came from behind the counter and tapped Percy's feet. "Up," she said and gestured. She grimaced at what she saw. "He needs a hooficure and probably a set of sandals. Or his feet will give you endless trouble. The callouses and little lines are uneven and that's a bad sign."

"How bad?" Cadence asked.

"Probably has a half-dozen, little splinters that nopony bothered to get out. I've got a vet who can do the whole thing in an hour. Don't worry, he uses anesthesia. I wish he'd treat ponies. I swear some vets are better than our doctors," Seam said.

"Nopony is going to bite their doctor," Armor said, "At least not in Canterlot. The vets can't say the same."

"Is he military, or personal?" Seam asked.

"Personal," Cadence said.

Seam wrote up the ticket. "If he was walking on soft dirt, or straw he could go a long time. Walking on the stone floors of the palace will make that a real problem."

"Thank you," Cadence said, "We'll go right now."

Armor nodded.
------------------------------

"So much for poor Armor's dear hope that he could poo bomb the fashionable as they walked by," Cadence said as she settled at her writing desk.

Parasol smiled. "I still think he could do it. He just couldn't blame it on Percy."

Cadence nodded. "Something wrong?" she asked Parasol.

"I thought I heard," Parasol said, her ears swivelling, "I did hear." The hoofmaiden stood and rushed out of the room.

Cadence followed her to the bathroom. "Percy what are you . . . ?" She watched the toilet roll spin madly as the water took the end and what it was attached to down the drain.

Parasol ran off, leaving Cadence with an absolutely fascinated human watching the simple mechanism work. "You're as bad as Twilight," Cadence said as she remembered all the trouble the filly could get into with the most innocuous things. "I should give you to Celestia, you and Philomena would get on great." Cadence returned to her room and threw herself on her bed to muffle her laughter.
------------------------------

Armor saw the expression on Cadence's face as she sat in the living room. It was either a sergeant dealing with a batch of extremely clever, young officers or a mother overwhelmed by her children. Neither Percy nor Parasol were in evidence.

"You were right, I was wrong," Cadence said. Her flat tone ominous in so many ways.

Armor switched back to the Captain of the Guard dealing with a unicorn or earth pony standing on a high ledge, until a pegasus team could arrive. "What happened?"

"Lady Horn Swoggle and Sir Eagle Belle arrived," Cadence said.

The rich snob who 'adjusts' all the furniture and checks for dust on the tops of the paintings? Armor didn't ask, That would explain things. He'd set a plate of cookies in front of the mare once, and watched her adjust half of them, then turn the plate. Every time somepony took a cookie, she 'arrived' back at the plate and rearranged the others. It could be very irritating.

"Yes," Armor said carefully as he sat beside Cadence and gathered her against him.

"She was rearranging things, and Percy was playing with the boxes for the toys we bought, constructing something."

Armor glanced at the ignored toys in the wood box with Percy's name on it. "Yes," Armor said, almost afraid of what happened next.

"She picked the boxes up and threw them away," Cadence said.

Oh Celestia, that must have gone over well, Armor thought.

All he said was, "Yes."

"After I served tea and cakes, and she rearranged them," Cadence said, "He walked behind the couch I was on and canted the picture there at least 15 degrees, and glared at her."

Every bit of his restraint and training came into play, of the Captain of the Guard dealing with some noble who didn't understand, and had to be pampered.

"And?" he asked as neutrally as he could.

Cadence turned to face him, her emotions boiling. "I couldn't see it. I thought the poor mare was sitting in her chair and having a stroke! Sir Belle wouldn't tell me. He was just acting like you are, stiff upper lip and all."

"And?" Armor said, letting the faintest glimmer of a smile through.

Cadence hit him with a pillow.
------------------------------

Parasol opened the door to the apartment and saw the air filled with feathers. Screams of rage and laughter sounded from within the cloud. She turned. "Come on Percy, let's find a restaurant that allows humans. I'm not walking into that."

The human closed the door very quietly.
------------------------------

Armor reminded himself that not all ponies were like whichever ponies had done that. The son would survive, but a unicorn without a horn was at a serious disadvantage in life. It was the two newborns he couldn't understand. I hope to Celestia they just took them and gave them to some adoption agency. If they . . . if they just tossed them over the edge like they said . . . he thought, and shook his head. But the horror of the idea wouldn't go away.

Armor suddenly awakened and looked around. He was back in the apartment and had his head in Percy's lap. Cadence was kneeling near them.

"It's okay," she told him, she grinned and glanced at him and Percy, "It's all right, he was just looking after you." Cadence hugged him and told him, "I heard when Celestia did. You did all you could. You did all anyone could."

But it wasn't enough, he thought as he hugged Cadence, and all the pain and uncertainty overwhelmed him. What good is being Captain of the Guard if I can't even protect the most innocent and helpless? He felt himself crying. He was dimly aware of the strong fingers stroking his mane.
------------------------------

Cadence watched Armor fall into an exhausted sleep. She'd been horrified by the reports, that ponies would strike at another pony's children to 'send a message' to whoever informed on the fighting rings. Then I realized Armor would be in the middle of it, she thought as she gently lifted Armor and the blanket Percy must have draped over Armor.

A sudden stab of fear and she looked at the open windows, and wondered. Will they come after Shining? Or me, to get at him? Her eyes locked on Percy. I'm an idiot, I've got a human who's killed armed minotaurs with his bare hands, and I'm worried about ponies.

She took a deep breath as she gestured to Percy. "Come on, I think you'll help."

He looked confused.

"Come on, it's all right," she told him and carried Armor to their bedroom. Percy followed.

She turned down the bed and set Armor in it, when she climbed in Percy started to tuck them in. "No, you too," she said, and realized it was more that confusion on his face, he was distinctly unhappy. "Please."

He looked very worried as he removed the smock with her cutie-mark on the front and back, then the kilt, and climbed in behind Armor. Her magic pulled the covers over all of them.

Armor made a little noise in his sleep. She used her power on hm, to remind him that she loved hm, as did many others. A moment later, she released a second heart. She stared at it as it touched and bounced off Percy's head. But I've used it on humans before, she thought, and felt another touch of fear, So much for whatever 'special' advantage my powers would have given me. Wait, he doesn't need my special power. He honestly cares. She settled in and let sleep take her.
------------------------------

She'd been enjoying the naughtiest dream with Shining Armor, until he turned into a tea kettle whistling at the top of his lungs. Cadence opened her eyes and tried to figure out if she was still asleep and dreaming, or if she was awake. The world seemed surreal.

The thumps and noises outside the door seemed unreal, as if somepony was fighting in her living room. She heard her Auntie cry out in pain. "Now I know I'm dreaming," she said as she climbed out of bed, and counted to one. Percy was gone, and her heart froze. There was a very good reason for someone to be fighting in her living room.

She charged her horn and yanked the door open, what she saw froze her blood. Celestia looked like she'd been attacked, and Percy was crouched and preparing to spring. "Percy! NO!" she shouted and pushed him down. "Celestia, what are you doing?" she demanded.

Percy seemed to calm down instantly. But Celestia seemed to be enjoying the fight.

"We caught the assassin, and I decided to check on your security," Celestia said and shrugged, "I had no idea you had obtained such a ferocious." She winced and rubbed her forehead. "Ow. And effective bodyguard, my niece."

"Someone I'm training not to do this, OOF!" Cadence said, then Percy shoved her off him and dashed for a fire poker lying on the carpet. "PERCY! NO!"

Then he ran past both of them with the poker in hand. Both alicorns raced after him. Cadence felt the world go into slow motion as she saw the Wonderbolt at the open window, Percy with the poker held like a lance, and the Wonderbolt flick the knife she'd been aiming at Armor at Percy. Not Percy, at me, she thought as Percy moved slightly at took the blow on the side. The blade stuck, then fell out as Celestia's magic yanked Cadence out of the path the knife would have taken.

When she could make her eyes move, Percy was outside the window, the poker through the pegasus. She watched as they continued to move farther away, drifting like clouds. But as if gravity realized its negligence, the pair started moving down.

"No!" she felt rather than heard herself yell.

She watched as Celestia looked at Armor, looked at her, and then looked out the window. As Celestia's horn glowed, Cadence felt time resume it's normal flow. "He's so much fun, and he already cares so much, I could hardly let him go splat," Celestia said and smiled and the pair levitated up to the window.

Cadence watched as Armor woke and took in the entire scene as he came awake. Percy's head lolled as he gripped the poker shoved through the hysterically screaming pegasus.

"Get the doctors," Celestia commanded and Cadence ran off to comply.
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Celestia let the doctors tend her minor wounds. She was mulling over the fight, and the assassination attempt. While she smiled at the first, the latter one disturbed her to the core.

"Disgraceful, he'll be put down," one of the courtiers said, breaking Celestia out of her meditations.

"I was actually thinking of studding him to all the Guard's females," Celestia said. She enjoyed the horrified look on the bureaucrat in charge of her security, a functionary rather than a guard. "He was defending Cadence and Shining Armor, and ferociously. Even outmatched and wounded, he pressed the attack."

"He attacked you, Your Highness," the functionary insisted.

"Yes. I probably should have surrendered," she said as she rested her chin on an upraised hoof. "I'm fairly certain if I hadn't continued to challenge, everything would be all right." A thought kept occurring to her. She ignored the sputtering functionary, and the chuckling physician and called up a copy of the floor plan of Cadence's apartment.

"Soldier, if an opponent stayed in this area, and you came in here," Celestia said as she marked where Percy had remained, and where she had entered from, "What do you make of this?"

"Looks like a guard trying to keep someone away from that room, Highness," the guard said.

That's what I thought, Celestia thought as she scratched her chin, So did he get that from pit-fighting? Area denial? I've seen that in Guard's working humans. It's an incredibly sophisticated tactic for an untrained human, some soldiers can't master it. Was he trained by the same unicorns who do the Guard's? I suppose I can ask.

"Highness," the doctor said in the voice of one who knows much of her wisdom was going to be ignored, "Since you enjoy sparring with him so much, might I suggest a more formal setting and rules, rather than in the dark of night with whatever weapons come to hand?"

"Why Kill Dare! That's a positively splendid idea," Celestia said, and watched the old mare facehoof.